


You Keep Me Sane

by creakybones



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: (as a punishment), Age Difference, Forced Wetting, Graphic Violence, I will add more as they apply, Kidnapping, M/M, Serial Killer, Serial Killer Gerard, Sexual Content, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2018-08-11 07:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 190,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7881085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creakybones/pseuds/creakybones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard has become infatuated with a young librarian that had only spoken to him once before, and he realized that he didn't have the usual, unrelenting craving to kill. No, He had a different urge, one that seemed a little more dangerous...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fsalisbb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fsalisbb/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I don't currently have a Beta for this, so there are some spelling errors and whatnot! When I finish this fic, I will go through and also sort of revamp each chapter to update it! (but all of the events and dialog will remain the same! so don't worry about that! I just want to clean it up and make it flow better!)

Gerard pushed the two, large, wooden doors open; the hinges giving the same faint squeak as they always did when he stepped past the entryway into the large, familiar library. The partially musty scent of the books that lined the walls filled his nose as he breathed in deeply, and he ran a shaky hand through his newly bleached hair; tugging at the short, white strands harshly for a few moments before he began to carefully stalk his way to the table in the back. He clutched his bag tightly in his other hand, knuckles almost turning white with the grip he had on it, and pulled out his usual chair. When he sat down, he pulled out his sketchbook and hurriedly flipped it open to the nearest clean page before tugging out his pens.  He always sat in that seat. The table was tucked between two bookshelves near the back of one of the large rooms in the expanse of the library, almost in a little nook  in the corner. It was the only place that Gerard was really able to observe his surroundings without being noticed. It was the only place he could really observe _him_.

The library wasn’t too crowded, seeing as it was a Tuesday morning. There were mostly just a few hungover college students cramming tiredly for their final that was most likely in a few hours, and a few elderly women milling about as well. Gerard’s gaze flitted around the room for a moment, assessing his surroundings again, before he hunched over his notebook slightly as he uncapped one of his new ink pens; chewing on the lid as his hand began to scribble harsh lines onto the paper. They formed the same image that they always did – the same _face_. The faint tearing of the page could be heard in the quiet hush of the large room as he bore down on the paper too hard, causing him to growl lowly in his throat in slight frustration. No matter how much he tried to will his hand to relieve the rough pressure on the utensil, his body just wouldn’t cooperate with his brain. So he just continued to make irritated little grunts as he scrawled each uneven line.

Suddenly, Gerard heard the lilting giggle that his body craved to hear – to be the cause of – echoing through the quiet room, and his mind was ripped away from his frantic scribbling. His head shot up, making him feel slightly dizzy with the speed that he did so, and his eyes darted to the source of the melodic laughter. His breathing hitched slightly; causing the pen cap to slip from his lips, and his gaze finally landed on _Frank –_ the same face that was in his sketch book. He was so beautiful; his head tilted back as he laughed at something some elderly women had said to him. He was always so _kind_ to everyone it seemed. He was always laughing and joking along with all the people that would come up to the desk to check out their books. Even when he really didn’t want to, Frank always tried to make small talk with everyone. Well, everyone but _Gerard_ that is.

Gerard, of course, understood _why_ Frank never really talked to him. Gerard was always trying to stay hidden away from everybody, not wanting people to really notice him. Not to mention that there were plenty of rumors surrounding him. Well, they weren’t really _rumors,_ per se. All the things that people thought about Gerard are pretty much accurate – the thoughts of him being a crazed serial killer – but no one really had to know that. Of course, that didn’t stop it from hurting him just a little that Frank never said a word to him. He was _sure_ that he had caught the librarian glancing at him a few times though, and each time it happened, he felt like his heart had skipped a beat, and his veins filled with bursts of static. But those moments never lasted long enough for him. He would always feel his fingers twitch almost wildly with the violent urge to just _touch_ the other man. To feel his skin beneath his fingertips, as he ran his aching hands over him.  

Gerard was a little bit more twitchy today than usual; more nervous. He had been watching Frank for quite awhile now. It had been a little over a year – four hundred sixty-three days, twelve hours, and fifty-seven minutes to be exact – since he first saw the young librarian. It had been raining that night, the heavy drops of water had been pouring from the dark clouds the whole day that Gerard had been in town. While he had normally enjoyed the rain, it didn’t make his task of finding another victim to satisfy his brain’s unrelenting _need_ to kill again, easier. His body had been aching and shuddering more so than it did on the days where his body didn’t have that craving. That was the only reason that Gerard had came into town that night. He normally stayed out of the city, off in his home in the woods that was a few hours away, but sometimes, like that night, he had to leave his safe haven, and prowl the streets.

He had been beginning to feel the effects of the cold autumn air, along with the near freezing temperatures of the rain soaking through his dark, long, pea coat. Gerard felt exhausted, not to mention frustrated. His feet were aching from how long he had been walking, and his body wouldn’t stop shaking from the thrumming feeling twisting itself around his lungs and stomach; causing his limbs to shudder and tremble with the desire to take another life. He was about to just give up and try again the next day, even though his mind and body wouldn’t let him really rest until it was done, when he was suddenly pulled from his discouraged thoughts by a voice calling out to him. Gerard quickly turned to face where it was coming from, and he was almost struck still when he saw the most stunning face staring right at him.

The boy looked young, most likely a high school kid in his late teens, and was standing out under the little awning of the building behind him. He had his hair styled into a dark Mohawk that came down over his face in a fringe that had a unique little curl at the end of it, and the shaven sides looked like they had been bleached recently. He had these gorgeous doe eyes that drew Gerard into them almost instantly, and Gerard’s gaze flickered up to the almost perfectly arched eyebrow that raised up curiously. It was then that Gerard realized that he hadn’t actually responded to the boy, and he breathed in a shaky breath for a moment to collect himself, and focused on keeping his voice steady in the presence of the other. “What?” was his brilliant reply, as he hadn’t actually understood what the boy had said to him. He was too caught off guard to pay attention to the actual words that came out of those soft, kissable lips, along with the smoke from his cigarette.

The stranger just breathed out a small laugh, similar to a giggle, and shook his head. “I said, If you wanted to get out of the rain for a few minutes, you can come inside here for a little bit.” He gestured to the building behind him, and now that Gerard actually looked at it, he could tell that it was a library. “I’m actually supposed to be closing up right now since it’s eight thirty…” He admitted with a sheepish grin and waved his cigarette around as he spoke. Gerard noted that he looked too young to be smoking, but he couldn’t really say anything about it since he started smoking when he was thirteen. “But you look like you’ve had a rough day, and a few minutes won’t really hurt anybody.” He laughed again, and Gerard felt his heart constrict. He outstretched his hand, and stepped out of the small shelter from the rain to grab Gerard by his hand, and pull him to the door. “C’mon.”

Gerard only managed to emit a little surprised gasp as he was pulled out of the harsh rain. No one had ever really treated him that way, like he was just a normal person, and it was an unfamiliar feeling. “I- um- Okay.” He stuttered out as he was pulled under the awning. It was when he was stood behind the stranger as he was pushing open the large door, that he realized that he suddenly didn’t have the same aching pain thrashing through his body. He felt calmer, and abruptly became aware of that he didn’t have the urge to kill the nice man in front of him. No, he had a different impulse. One that made him want to take that boy, and just keep him to himself. To hold him, touch him, _love_ him. It was a foreign feeling, and Gerard really didn’t know how to handle it. So for the time being, he just watched the boy toss the remains of his cigarette out on the sidewalk and followed him inside of the building. It really _did_ feel nice to be inside of the warm dryness of the library, and he felt extremely grateful for that small moment of calmness that washed over him. He still twitched though, almost constantly drumming his fingers against his thigh as he stood inside of the open, main room of the library.

“You want some coffee?” The boy asked as he walked to his desk where there was a small coffee pot situated on the wooden surface.

Gerard instantly perked up at the mention of his favorite beverage, and gave a hesitant smile. “Um, no- Yeah, coffee… um- coffee sounds good.” He stammered out and began to tug at his hair nervously, and stared at the floor.

“Alright.” The stranger nodded as he began to start a new pot of coffee, even though he knew it was a little late to be making a completely new one. “My name’s Frank by the way.” The stranger – Frank – said as the coffee started to brew. He turned back to look at Gerard and he could tell that the other man was a little anxious, so he tried to give a disarming smile.

Gerard lifted his head again and his eyes dropped down to the kind smile on Frank’s mouth. “M-my name’s Gerard.” He stuttered in return. He hated that he couldn’t control his shaky voice, especially _then_.

So, they stood there together as they waited for the coffee to finish brewing, chatting quietly. The atmosphere of the library making them feel like they had to keep their voices lowered, even though it was only them. It was mostly Frank doing the talking, Gerard just giving little nods and hums, though sometimes he would actually say a few words in response. He was a little rusty when it actually came to communicating with another person, and he especially didn’t want to share anything about himself with someone that he had just met. When the coffee was finished, they both made their little cups; Gerard opting to flood his with sugar and cream, while Frank just kept his black. Frank hopped up onto his little desk, while Gerard decided to just sit/lean against the table closest to the other man’s desk.

During the time that they talked, Gerard had learned that Frank was currently seventeen – as he had already assumed – and he dropped out of high school but still managed to get a job at the library because a family friend owned it. He mostly just got the job so he could get a guitar and help his parents pay their bills. It was a very nice little chat were he learned random little facts about the younger man. Random little facts that he would never forget. Like the fact that Frank was born on Halloween – which made him exactly twelve years, six months, and twenty-two days younger than Gerard. Or that he was a big fan of bands like the Misfits, and Black flag. He even liked to listen to the Smiths too, and Gerard could feel himself falling for this boy more and more with each thing he said. He knew he was feeling it too quickly, the choking sensation of needing to get closer to Frank was flooding his senses rapidly, but he just couldn’t bring himself to try to stop it.

After they were done with their drinks, Frank took Gerard’s cup with his own and disposed of them in the small trashcan before sighing as he looked at the clock. They had been sitting there for close to fifty minutes, and he figured that he really should be closing up now. “Well, It was nice talking to you Gerard.” Frank said honestly. “But I really should be closing up the library now.” Frank explained and nodded his head to the other boy to signal that they should be heading to the door.

Gerard managed to pick up on the gesture and began to push himself up out of the chair. “Oh- Yeah.” He agreed and offered a smile that he hoped wasn’t too weird. It probably didn’t help too much that his body shuddered faintly and his head twitched to the side momentarily. Luckily Frank didn’t seem to notice, and began to walk to the two main doors. “It was nice. I-I had…Fun?” Gerard’s pitch made it seem like he hadn’t really enjoyed the time he spent with the young man, but really, he just hadn’t known if he used the word right. When he mulled it over for a moment, he nodded to himself and began to follow Frank. “Yes – fun – I had fun.” He confirmed and nodded again.

Frank breathed a small chuckle, and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, me too.”

When they both got outside, they stood together for a moment under the small awning as they watched the light rain hit the slick sidewalk. Gerard felt eternally grateful that the rain had slowed down into a soft sprinkle, and he heard the small flick a lighter getting struck, and he turned to see Frank lighting up another smoke. He felt his fingers twitch again. He was seriously itching for a cigarette, and he bit his lip for a moment before actually speaking. “Hey, Frank?” He murmured to get the boy’s attention

Frank just raised his eyebrows in question as he pulled in a drag of smoke through the filter, and looked at Gerard. “Hmm?” He hummed quietly.

“Do you think I could… I don’t- I mean.” Gerard gave a frustrated sigh as he struggled to complete the sentence, and tried again. “Can I bum a smoke?” He finally asked, a small hopeful expression clouding his features. He began to dig his nails into the palms of his hands as he waited for Frank to answer, and exhaled slowly in relief  as he noticed Frank nod and pat down his pockets to retrieve the pack.

He was glad that Frank wasn’t really saying anything about his  stuttering and constant twitching. It felt nice. Gerard was still tempted to take Frank. In fact, his body was practically screaming at him to take him, to keep him all to himself and to never let anyone else see him. But he was able to control those impulse at that moment, and just took the cigarette from the boy with his trembling hand. He closed his eyes and sucked in a lungful of smoke when Frank lit the cigarette for him, and breathed it out through his nose.

“Thanks.” Gerard sighed gratefully as a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. When he opened his eyes again, he shook his head slightly and looked out to the streets.

Frank smiled back and exhaled the smoke before he spoke. “It’s no problem man.” He said sincerely and followed Gerard’s gaze to the wet sidewalk.

Gerard hummed softly, and looked back at Frank. “Well…Bye, I guess.” Gerard said, and gave a small, awkward wave. The smoke from the cigarette following his movements, and twisting around him in a hazy trail.

Frank nodded back and waved as well, a small smiled tugging at the corners of his mouth as he replied. “Yeah, Bye…You get home safe okay?” He said. “There are some pretty crazy people out there at this time of night.” Frank said with a small chuckle, and turned around so he could begin to lock the doors to the library.

 _You have no idea_. Gerard thought to himself and shook his head as he started to walk out of the shelter of the awning, and into the rain. “There sure are.” He agreed. “You be safe too, try not to run into any serial killers tonight.” He joked.

Frank just laughed a little and shook his head. “I’ll try my best.” He said with a smile. And with that, they finally parted ways.

On the way back to where Gerard had parked his car a few blocks away, he was lucky enough to find some drunk, stumbling man that was tripping over himself down the street, and he let his impulses and instincts take over. No one would miss him…

That night was the last time that Frank had actually spoken to him. Gerard was certain that they could have been friends if he had tried, but he had never really been too good at that. Instead, Gerard decided to go to the library every single day for the next two months to figure out Frank’s schedule, and just watch him quietly. Once he had that figured out, he made sure to come in each time that Frank did. He never let Frank see him of course, at least, not for the first year. He was sure that Frank had forgotten about that night in the rain a year and three months ago, but Gerard never did. He had only just began to come out of his weird form of hiding a month and a half ago, in an attempt to ready himself to speak to Frank again. Which brings him to this day.

Gerard was more nervous today than usual because he was actually going to make an effort to converse with Frank. He just had to wait for the right moment; the _perfect_ moment. He continued to keep his gaze trained on the boy as he kept chatting with the elderly woman, the corner of his lip curling up in slight annoyance as she touched Frank’s arm in a completely innocent way. He knew it was unreasonable to worry about that lady touching Frank, but he couldn’t stop the feeling of resentment tugging at his gut whenever she – or anyone else – touched the one that he desired. Gerard tried his best to ignore the irritation coursing through him, and went back to scribbling in his sketchbook.  

His sketching was almost frantic in nature, as if he had to hurry up and finish drawing the lines that formed Frank’s face like he was about to forget them. But he could never forget them, the image of the other boy was constantly burning in his mind. Always there, never letting him rest. _Ever_. He lifted his left hand up to his mouth and began to chew harshly on his fingernails, tearing them from their place as he did so. He kept at it for quite a few minutes longer; drawing Frank’s face, and writing his name over and over on the page. He only stopped when he heard the small squeak of the younger man’s desk chair moving as he got up, and he lifted his gaze to follow him as he walked over to the cart of returned books.

Frank had decided to go ahead and put the books back on the shelves where they belong because things were going pretty slow. Not too many people wanted to check out books at 9:42 in the morning, it seemed. So he began to push the cart around and started to place each book in their respective places; groaning to himself when he had to go retrieve the little stool when there was a book that belonged on the higher shelves. He hated that he was so fucking short, it made his job much harder than it had to be.

Gerard waited only a few minutes after Frank began to move around, before closing his sketchbook hurriedly and stuffing it into his bag. He glanced around the floor for a moment to find the cap to his pen; remembering that he had dropped it from his mouth earlier and put it back on his pen once he found it. He shoved it into the side pocket of his bag before lifting the strap up over his shoulder and let his bag rest against his right hip. He stood up slowly; eyes darting around the room warily before he began to pace forward in long, quiet strides. Making his way to Frank. He stood at the end of the isle that the teen was currently standing in, and he just watched him as he stepped up onto the little step ladder to put a particularly heavy looking book up on the top shelf. He looked like he was wobbling a little bit, and Gerard’s eyes widened slightly as Frank began to lose his balance completely.

Frank was having quite a difficult time lifting the book over his head. _Fuck, this thing must be fifty pounds or something._ He was thinking, as it began to make his arms wobble slightly, and he began to lose his footing on the small step ladder. _Fucking shit_. He began to fall backwards from the shelves, and the large book was in his way of grabbing onto the shelves in front of him to catch his balance. Frank quickly threw the book away from himself as he fell, not wanting to get crushed by it when he hit the floor, and closed his eyes as he braced himself for the impact of the wooden surface. But, the impact never came. Instead, he felt something soft, yet strong,  encircling his waist, and his chest was pressed up against something solid and warm. _What the hell?_ Frank slowly opened his eyes, his brows pulled together in confusion, as he took in the sight in front of him. His eyes widened for a brief moment as he realized that it was a man that had caught him, a man that he had heard plenty of terrible things about.

Gerard tried to ignore the flash of worry that flickered over the mossy green eyes in front of him for a brief moment, and let go of Frank. “I- um…” He cleared his throat and bounced his fist against his thigh as he glanced at the floor for a moment. He still hadn’t gotten any better at talking to anyone. “Are- uh, are you alright?” He asked finally and began to run his twitching fingers through his short, white hair. His fingers longed to be tangling themselves in Frank’s hair instead though.

Frank was a little caught off guard, He hadn’t even heard him coming up behind him, so getting caught by him had surprised him a little. Not to mention _who_ it was that had caught him. _Gerard_ , he was pretty sure his name was. Frank had seen him around the library for a little over a month, always at that same little table in the back of the main room. He always seemed to be scrawling intensely in a sketchbook each time he saw him, though sometimes he would catch him staring at him. It was a little unsettling to be watched so much, especially with all of the things he had heard about the man. He heard that Gerard was a crazed serial killer; one that would kidnap his victims and take them back to his house to kill them. He didn’t know how those rumors had started, or if they were even true, but the man certainly had that crazed look to him. Particularly with the way that he was always twitching, and how his eyes kept darting around and never really stayed in one place for too long.

Normally, Frank wasn’t one to judge, but he just gave Frank this unnerving feeling twisting itself in his gut when he was around. He had been taught to trust his gut instincts. Frank put about two small steps between him and the other man, and nodded in response. “Oh, Yeah.” He said. “No, I’m totally fine.” He gave a nervous chuckle to try to hide his uneasiness.

Gerard pursed his lips and nodded back, still looking at the floor. “Good, good…That’s good.” He mumbled and brought his hand to his lips to chew on his nails again. He really wanted to say more, but nothing came to mind.

“Yeah…” Frank said and offered a small smile, trying to be polite. Maybe if he was nice, Gerard wouldn’t do anything to him. “Thanks for- well, y’know… Catching me and all.”

Gerard lifted his head and finally looked at Frank. “Hm? Oh, yeah- It was, you know. It’s no big deal” He said and breathed in shakily; tapping his fingers against his thigh. “I was actually coming over here to talk to you…”

Frank watched as Gerard’s fingers moved repeatedly against his leg, and lifted his gaze to meet the other man’s with a curious look. What could Gerard possibly need to talk to him about? “Yeah? What do you need?” He asked and tried to discreetly put another step between them, but of course Gerard noticed. He noticed everything Frank did. “Do you need help finding a book or something, Sir?” He really hoped that that was all that the strange man wanted.

Gerard moved forward slightly to match the step that Frank put between them, and shoved his fists into his pockets in an attempt to get his fingers to stop moving. “I was- well…” He started, and shook his head slightly before taking a hand out of his pocket to move it back to his hair. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I was actually wondering…If maybe- I don’t know… If you would maybe like to go get coffee with me later?” He gave an almost nervous laugh before adding. “And please, my name is Gerard. You don’t have to call me ‘Sir’.”  

Frank was a little taken aback at first, and he was sure the surprised shock was evident on his face as he stared at Gerard for a moment. He quickly tried to cover it up, and stepped back again, only he was stopped when his back hit the bookshelves. “I-I don’t know, Gerard, I um- I already made plans to hang out with one of my friends today.” He lied; feigning a smile.

Gerard could instantly tell that Frank was lying, and it made slight anger swell up inside of him. _Why is he lying to me? You’re not supposed to lie to the people who love you._ He was so upset, his mind just couldn’t comprehend that Frank wouldn’t want to spend time with him. He could feel the pain of Frank’s rejection coiling and thrumming through him, and he frowned deeply as he stepped closer to the young man; practically towering over him as he narrowed his eyes. “Why are you lying to me?” He asked lowly, his voice steady for the first time during their conversation.

Frank pushed himself back against the shelves, flatting against them as he tried to put more space between him and Gerard, but it was useless. There was now only a few inches between them, and Frank could feel slight panic welling up inside of him. “L-look, Gerard.” He stammered out quickly; raising his hands up to hover in front of the taller man’s chest, just in case he had to push him away. “I’m sorry- really! I just- I’m not really feeling too well today.” He lied again. “My immune system is about as strong as a flower.” He joked nervously, trying to lighten the mood.

While Gerard knew that Frank’s immune system really didn’t work all too well, he could tell that he wasn’t actually feeling bad at all. Gerard had been watching the younger man extremely closely for quite some time, so he knew how Frank _really_ was when he wasn’t feeling good. He could feel more anger rise up inside of him, it was hurting him pretty deeply that Frank still felt the need to be dishonest to him. Gerard knew that he was going to have to do something about it, but for know, he was just going to let Frank think that he had gotten away with it. He put a convincing smile on his face, and pulled back away from Frank as he nodded.

“Oh, really?” Gerard asked with a sympathetic tone, and moved his shaking hand up to rest on the shorter man’s shoulder. It almost instantly stopped twitching. “I’m sorry about that.” He said as he tilted his head. “You should get some rest then, Frankie.”

Frank was almost startled by the complete 180 that Gerard’s mood took, and he was a little worried about the fact that Gerard knew his name. That was before he remembered the little name tag that he had on his shirt, but he still felt a little irked by the fact that he called him ‘Frankie’; not to mention the way that Gerard was gripping onto his shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that.” He said as he tried to not show how bothered he was by the other man’s hand touching him. “Thanks.”

Gerard slid his hand down Frank’s arm a little possessively, before letting it drop away from him. “Yeah.” He said and ducked his head as he continued to smile at him. “Well, I guess I’m gonna go ahead and head back home.” He murmured as he moved his hands to grip tightly at the strap of his bag that went across his chest. “I’ll see you some other time.” Gerard was still pretty upset at Frank, so he was going to come back later. When it was darker – when Frank was alone.

Frank was was still very wary of Gerard, especially with how he had ran his hand down his arm the way that he did. “Sure.” He said, and cautiously began to sidestep away from Gerard. “I’ll be sure to let you know when I’m feeling better.” He promised falsely.

Gerard nodded and began to step away from Frank, the further he got from him, the worse the violent thrashing inside of his body got. He hated it. He hated that he was going to be away from Frank. But that was soon to change. He just had to wait; just wait until Frank was closing up, then he will make his move. He waved a little at Frank before he turned away completely, and left the library swiftly.

Frank sighed in relief when Gerard finally started to move away from him. He felt _sick_. Not in the way that he had been trying to convince Gerard of, but in a different way. One that told him that something was definitely wrong. He tried to shake the distressing feeling as he watched the strange man walk out of the building. He couldn’t help but jump slightly at the loud slam that the doors gave when they closed.

Gerard walked the few blocks it took to get to his car, and got inside of it. He knew that it would have been easier to park at the parking lot of the library, but he didn’t want people to be able to tell what car he drove. It was one of his ways of staying hidden, making it harder to track him down. He drove the way back to the library, not having to stop back at his house for the supplies he would need for later in the night since he already had them in his trunk. Once he got there, he parked around the back door where Frank usually came out of, and waited.

The rest of the work day went off without a hitch for Frank. Though he just couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that kept looming over him, and he kept jumping at every little sound. As it got closer to 8:30, Frank kept thinking about how much he wished that he had driven to work that day, instead of walking like he normally did. Every five minutes, Frank would almost reach for his phone to see if his friend Ray could come pick him up when it was time for him to leave, but he would always remember that Ray was working the late shift at the diner he worked at, and would be too busy to help Frank. It wasn’t a big deal, he knew he was overreacting, but there was still this tiny little voice in the back of his head; telling him that it was right for him to be worried.

Gerard had been keeping his eyes on his watch closely for the whole day, and had decided to get out of his car at around 8:15 to start to get everything ready. He slipped out of his seat, and popped open his trunk to retrieve some rope, and a gag. Then he reached for a smaller bag in the back of his trunk that had syringes filled with enough tranquilizer to keep someone knocked out for a few hours. Gerard looped the rope around his torso for easier carry, and shoved the gag in his pocket before picking out a syringe and shutting his trunk. Now all he had to do was hide out against the building in the shadows, until it was time for Frank to leave.  

Finally, after everyone had vacated the building, it was time for Frank to close up the library, and he was still uneasy about leaving though. The apprehensiveness was still tugging in his gut as he locked the front doors, and made his way out to the back; something seriously felt off. He locked the back door after he exited it, and he turned around to begin walking down the street, and that’s when he noticed that there was still a car in the back lot, but no one was supposed to park in the lot if unless they were going inside of the library. Frank was sure that there was no one inside of the building, he had checked thoroughly, as he did every night before locking up. So why was there still a car? 

Gerard watched quietly as Frank locked the back door, and waited for him to walk in front of him. He could feel his blood pumping through him at an elevated pace, his adrenalin heightening each of his senses as he prepared to strike. Frank began to feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and his eyes began to dart around quickly as he felt like he was being watched. Then he suddenly heard the slight scuff of the pavement behind him, and he swiveled around on his heals quickly, but there was nothing there. Frank chuckled at himself for being so jumpy, and tried to just tell himself that there was nothing wrong. But then there was a hand sliding over his mouth, and he felt someone press up against his back. He felt his heart flutter wildly in his chest with fear, and before he was able to fight against the grip that appeared around his waist, there was the small prick of a needle slipping into his neck, and his vision began to go hazy. His limbs felt weak, and all he could do was loll his head back against the person who was holding him as his eyes slipped closed. The last thing he heard before he slipped completely into unconsciousness, was that familiar voice whispering into his ear. “I’m sorry, Frankie…” And the sensation of lips brushing lightly against his neck where the needle had been pulled out, was felt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after craving closeness with Frank for so long, Gerard brings the boy into his home for the first time. He's glad to have the company, even if that company is there against their will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the first chapter just before posting this one. The only change I made, was that Frank is now 18, and Gerard is 30. Please enjoy.

Frank felt a splitting headache forming between his eyes; making him squeeze his lids shut tighter as he began to wake up. The right side of his face was pressed up against something flat and cold; almost like glass. “Fuck.” He tried to groan, but his speech was slurred and muffled slightly. That’s when he noticed the feeling of cloth against his tongue, and he rolled his head against the cool surface next to him as he tried to spit it out. It was no use, the cloth was wrapped securely around his head, keeping it firmly in his mouth. “What the hell?” Frank tried to speak again, but because of the gag, it still came out as more of a garbled groan. His arms were making his shoulders ache from how they were positioned behind his back, and he attempted to move them to where they were in front of him instead, but something stopped him. He tried again, and he felt a slight surge of fear rush through him when he realized that his wrists were tied together.

Frank forced his eyes open against he pain his head, and was immediately blinded by what appeared to be headlights passing by. He closed them again against the harsh light and groaned as the pain throbbing between his eyes worsened. “I see you’re awake.” Frank jolted in his seat as a voice broke through his groans of pain, and he turned his head to face where it was coming from; neck aching in protest to the movement. His vision was a little hazy at first from his eyes being closed for so long, so he had to wait for them to adjust before he was able to really discern any shapes. After rapidly blinking to quicken the process, he nearly jumped out of his skin when his eyes finally focused on who it was that was sitting next to him.

He pushed himself up against the passenger side door to try to put more space between him and Gerard; between him and his _captor_. Gerard was glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, his head turned slightly towards the younger man as he drove down a dark road. He exhaled slowly as he prepared himself to speak again. “You’re head probably hurts a little bit, doesn’t it?” He asked with his voice laced with concerned. His speech was finally steady as he spoke to the younger man; finding that he had always seemed more relaxed when talking to his victims. There was just something about knowing that they were under his complete control that made it easier for him to speak to them.

Frank stared wide-eyed at Gerard; he couldn’t believe that the man that had kidnapped him was actually trying to make small talk with him. Especially since he wasn’t able to talk back to him because of the gag pressing against his tongue. If he didn’t know any better, he would have believed that Gerard was sincere in his concern. After blinking slowly at the older man, Frank nodded slowly to answer his question.

Gerard nodded as well, his lips pursed as he thought to himself. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you something to help with your headache soon.” He murmured softly. He hated that Frank was hurting, even though it was only a little migraine. It made his gut twist uncomfortably in pain as he glanced back over to the boy in the passenger seat.

It was strange to Frank how Gerard was acting towards him. He was certain that most kidnappers wouldn’t treat their victims like this. At least, that’s not how it went in all of the movies he had seen. He really didn’t want to continue any conversation with the other man; already furious that he was having to be there against his will. All he did was just nod again to Gerard, fixating his gaze onto a speck of dirt that was on the windshield of the car. He briefly wondered where he was going, where was Gerard going to take him? It was a little frightening to have no idea what was to come for him, and he began to feel panicked. God, Gerard was going to kill him. He was probably taking him to a secluded location far away to just torture and kill him.

He felt his stomach churn with nausea the more he thought about it, and he rested his head against the cool glass of the window to settle himself down. Gerard glanced back at Frank with a small frown. He really wished that the boy was more comfortable with being around him. His fingers tightened their grip on the steering wheel as he began to feel dismay swelling up inside of him. All he wanted was for Frank to like him, for him to be happy. Was that too much to ask? He decided that it would be best if he spent the rest of the car ride quietly. Judging by Frank’s body language, he really wasn’t in the mood to converse with him.

After what had to have been two more hours of driving silently, Gerard finally turned down this old, dirt road. It looked as if it hadn’t been used it years. The reality of it though, was that only Gerard used it. It was a dead end that lead four and a half miles deep into the woods. There was only one house that the road connected to, which is where Gerard’s home was. Right at the very end of the road. It was very nice and secluded. He never had to worry about anyone hearing the deafening screams of his victims that he brought back there.

The house didn’t really look like it belonged that deep in the woods. It looked more like it belonged in some high end suburban neighborhood. It was two stories tall, not including the basement, and it was a surprisingly clean white on the outside. It wasn’t _at all_ what Frank had been expecting. He had been expecting the house to be rotting and decaying, all brown and green from mold with vines growing on it. He had been to busy gawking at the fancy looking house to realize that they had stopped.

Gerard pulled the keys out of the ignition and stepped out of the car with a sigh, glad to finally be back home as he shut the door to his vehicle and walked over to the passenger side. Frank was wasn’t experiencing the same emotion as Gerard. He felt terrified. His eyes wide as he watched Gerard walk in front of the car and get closer to him. Frank shuffled in his seat to move himself as far away from his door as he could; closing his eyes tightly as it was opened. “Come on, Frankie, don’t scoot away, you’re just going to make this more difficult.” He heard the other man say, but he just stayed still and kept his eyes shut.

Gerard huffed another sigh and shook his head. He hated that Frank wasn’t happy to be there with him. It actually upset him quite greatly. His heart felt like it was getting nails driven through it the more he thought about it, and he began to twitch again. It _hurt_. The pain twisting itself around his chest and constricting his lungs; making it hard for him to breath for a moment. He shook himself out of his thoughts, and glanced back at Frank, before leaning over him to try to unbuckle him from his seat.

Frank was startled when he suddenly felt something pressing against his chest, his eyes flying open quickly as he reflexively threw himself forward against Gerard before he could realize that it wasn’t such a good idea. Gerard slammed against the dashboard, hitting his head on the hard surface and groaning in pain. He moved his hand to rub over the small injury, and glared back at Frank with a snarl.

“What the fuck was that for!?” Gerard shouted, making Frank flinch back and press himself against the seat of the car. “I was just trying to unbuckle you.” He growled and reached back over Frank and finally managed to press the button down all the way, making the seatbelt unlatch. He was so distressed that Frank did that to him, the emotion causing his fingers to slip up to his hair and tug harshly at the white strands. It managed to calm himself down for a moment before he was able to begin grabbing at the other man’s shoulders. “N-now, come o-on.” He mumbled, his stutter surfacing again for a moment since he got upset.

Frank tried to frown around the gag in his mouth. He actually felt a pang of guilt when he upset Gerard, but it was washed away when he felt his hands pulling him out of the car. The younger had always hated being told what to do, or getting forced to do something. This was no exception. Frank made a noise similar to a shout in protest, and began to thrash his body against Gerard’s grip, trying to pull himself away from the man that had kidnapped him.

Gerard growled quietly as Frank made it difficult for him to get him out of the car, he didn’t want to get upset at the other man, but Frank was making it difficult to stay calm. When he was getting nowhere with pulling at Frank’s shoulders and torso, he reached down and and started to pull him out by his thighs. Frank did _not_ like the feeling of Gerard’s hands on his legs at all, so he jerked them up quickly. His knees connected against Gerard’s nose harshly, resulting in the older man yelping in pain and flinching back, hitting the back of his head on the doorframe. Gerard groaned and pulled back out of the car, when he suddenly felt something warm running down his face. Once he poked his tongue out past his lips curiously, the metallic taste of blood flooded his mouth.

 _Shit_. Frank hated the look he received from Gerard as he wiped his face of the crimson liquid. His eyes immediately went dark, his face lowered as his mouth contorted into what could only be described as a snarl. Gerard flexed his fingers, and lunged forward again; grabbing at Frank’s calves and yanking him out of the car by his legs. Frank gave a noise similar to a yelp as he slid off of the seat suddenly, landing harshly on the ground making his ass sting. He barely had any time to open his eyes from where they had clinched shut from the pain, before he suddenly felt the sharp sting of the back of Gerard’s hand on his right cheek. He whimpered pathetically at the pain blossoming on his face as he looked up at the other man with tears pricking at his eyes.

Gerard reached forward and tangled his slender fingers in the strands of hair at the base of Frank’s head, tugging back so he was looking up at him. He leaned in closely, close enough to where Frank could feel the little, hot puffs of breath hitting his face, and he snarled at him. “Just because I don’t _want_ to hurt you, doesn’t mean that I _won’t_.” Gerard gave Frank’s hair a small, harsh tug to help punctuate his sentence, and stared darkly into the other’s eyes.  “Do you understand?” He asked. His voice cold and calculated.

Frank was frozen, his blood running cold  through his veins as Gerard stared menacingly at him. He was fucking petrified, not able to really function properly as he was afraid that anything he would do would just upset the other man further. Though it looked like Gerard was waiting for a response, and since he was gagged, he did his best to give a shaky nod, even with Gerard’s hand still gripping onto his hair.

That seemed to be enough for Gerard, for he released Frank’s hair and stood up straight again. “Good.” He mumbled. Gerard immediately felt terrible as he looked down at Frank. He looked so scared, _terrified_ , even. It made him want to lean down again and brush his lips gently over where he had hit him. To tell Frank that he was so sorry, that he loved and cared about him so much. He couldn’t do that though, not yet. Frank needed to learn to be good, just for a little bit, so he could get used to being with Gerard. So he could finally learn to _love_ Gerard.

Frank watched as the other man’s hands twitched before he leaned down again, causing him to flinch backwards and closed his eyes tightly. He was afraid that Gerard was going to do something else to him, he didn’t want to get hurt again. The shorter of the two was a little surprised when he felt the other’s strong arms circle around his waist and lift him up, making his eyes shoot open shock. A breath was huffed out of him as he was slung over Gerard’s shoulder, and he watched as the ground moved under them; listening to the crunch of the gravel beneath Gerard’s feet.

Frank was only able to watch the ground for a few more moments before he began to feel dizzy, opting to close his eyes instead and pretend that none of that was currently happening to him. It was a difficult feat for him to accomplish with the way that his head was bumping against Gerard’s back gently, and how he could feel all of the blood rushing to his brain. After his miserable attempt at escaping reality failed, he instead listened to the sound of the older man’s breathing. It was deep and even, almost as if he wasn’t currently carrying another person over his shoulder. It made him curious if Gerard had done this before. If he was used to carrying people over his shoulder. Maybe the rumors surrounding him were true.

Gerard was relieved to feel that Frank was no longer struggling. He allowed a soft smile to tug at his lips as he felt his own body relax. The sensation of Frank pressed against him making the searing pain that seemed to constantly burn and twist itself deep in his gut and lungs, dissipate into only a dull throb. The almost continuous twitching of his limbs nearly ceased completely, and Gerard felt like he was able to breathe easier than he ever had before. Of course, he was very aware of the circumstances of the other’s closeness, and he longed for them to be different. However, Gerard was exceedingly appreciative of any contact he was able to acquire from Frank.

A small hum slipped passed his lips as he pushed up the few stairs of his porch, and reached the door. He ran a gentle hand over the back of Frank’s thigh for a moment as he began to fish for his keys with his other; ignoring the way that it made the boy flinch. “Finally home.” Gerard murmured, mostly to himself, as he pulled his keys out of his coat pocket. It took a few moments of quiet grumbling for him to actually pick out the right key, and he slid it into the doorknob and turned it quickly; sighing contentedly as he pushed the wooden door open.

Frank had wanted to protest to Gerard’s words, to kick and scream and tell him that he didn’t want to be in Gerard’s ‘home’, but he wasn’t able to with how he was bound and gagged. It was probably for the best, seeing as it would most likely only result in upsetting Gerard again. The way that his cheek was still stinging reminded him of how much he didn’t want to go through that again. The memory of how dauntingly terrifying Gerard had appeared just for that moment after he hit him, sent chills down his spine.  He was shook from his thoughts as he was carried into the house, and the familiar ‘ _flick´_ of a light switch reached his ears.

When he opened his eyes, the only thing he could see was the polished wooden floors of the entryway to the house as Gerard carried him. He watched absentmindedly as Gerard struggled to slip off his boots without untying them, and he was admittedly a little impressed when he managed to do it after only a few tries, and Gerard continued to carry him through the small entryway. After a small number of steps, the floor transitioned from hardwood, to a nearly white, plush carpet that surprisingly had no remnants of any stains. He assumed that Gerard must be a very clean person. Either that, or he was tremendously good at cleaning up any messes that he made.

Gerard found himself smiling again as he began to carry Frank through the living room. He was actually considerably thrilled at the prospect of getting to share the space with the boy. It was something that he had been wanting to do for quite some time – since he first saw him standing outside of that library, to be more specific. Gerard let his fingers give a delicate squeeze to Frank’s leg again before he reached the couch, and he carefully leaned forward to help himself sit the other onto the soft cushions of his sofa. “Okay…” He sighed as he straightened himself up again, and worried his lower lip between his teeth as he looked over Frank, hating how scared he looked.

After only being able to watch the man’s feet, Frank was a little startled when he was able to look at Gerard’s face again, and there was blood smeared over the lower half of it. He had almost forgotten that he had caused that, and he couldn’t stop staring at how stark the crimson liquid looked against the man’s pale skin.

Gerard noticed that Frank seemed to be avoiding his eyes, appearing to be intently staring below his nose. “Hm?” he questioned, before running his hand over his face, only to feel something wet and sticky covering his skin. He pulled his fingers back quickly and looked over the slender digits to inspect what was on them, before remembering that it was his own blood. He was so used to getting blood on his face and skin, that he didn’t even notice the feeling of it on him after it had been there for a few moments.  “Oh… Yeah, let me go wash up really quick.” Gerard said as he motioned his hand over his face, and began to take a few steps backwards. He was a little wary of taking his eyes off of Frank; afraid that when he looked back, the boy would no longer be sitting there. He didn’t know how well he would be able to handle that. After looking over Frank one more time, his eyes falling down to the rope that secured his wrists and ankles together, he reassured himself that Frank wasn’t going anywhere, before finally turning himself around and walking out of the living room.

Frank could feel Gerard’s gaze burning into him as he walked away, but he kept his head down, not wanting to see the way that he was looking at him. He closed his eyes, focusing on nothing but his breathing for a moment while Gerard was gone. He needed to get out of there. He had no idea what the man had planned for him, and he didn’t _want_ to know. It was hard to even think about anything with the dread swelling in the pit of his stomach, but he had to do _something_. He couldn’t just sit there. Absentmindedly he began to  tug against his restraints; attempting to pull his wrists apart, along with his ankles. He stopped abruptly when he felt a cool hand grasp at his knee, and his eyes snapped open to see Gerard standing over him.

“Don’t struggle against them Frank.” Gerard spoke softly, and ran his other hand soothingly over the cheek that he had hit. “You will only end up hurting yourself, and I don’t want that” He cooed, moving his hand to card through Frank’s hair.

Frank flinched back from Gerard’s surprisingly gentle touch and snarled from behind the cloth. His brows furrowed in anger that Gerard had the audacity to touch him, and he glared up at him. He _hated_ the way that Gerard was speaking to him. Making it seem to Frank that Gerard was talking down to him, that Frank was weak and unable to tell what was best for him. But Frank knew what was good for him, and that was _getting out of this goddamn place_.  “Fuck off” He tried to growl as Gerard sat down on the coffee table in front of him, but it was unintelligible with the cloth fastened around his head.

Gerard only shook his head as he heard Frank garble something at him. He knew that Frank must not like having the gag in his mouth, and he _really_ didn’t want the boy to be uncomfortable anymore. So, even though it was against his instincts, he carefully leaned forward and began to loosen the knot; pulling the damp cloth from the other, and sitting it on the table next to himself.  “There you go.” He murmured, moving his hand to cup Frank’s jaw delicately as if he were made of glass.

“ Fuck. _Off._ ” Frank finally snarled as soon as he was able to, jerking back away from the older man’s touch.

Gerard allowed his hand to fall away from Frank, and rested it in his lap; fiddling with his twitching fingers. He dropped his head slightly, considerably upset that Frank didn’t seem to like _anything_ that he did. “Sorry…” He said softly, before he lifted his head and fixed Frank with an almost stern glare. “Although, I would appreciate it if you didn’t speak to me like that.”

Frank was honestly a little baffled that Gerard _actually_ expected him to not speak to him disrespectfully. Especially after he fucking kidnapped him. He despised being told what to do by _anyone_ , much less _Gerard_. So, much to the other man’s surprise, he bowed his head for a moment, before rearing back and spitting in Gerard’s face. “Fuck you.” Frank hissed and leaned back against he cushions of the couch.

Gerard flinched away and quickly wiped his face free of Frank’s saliva, anger rising and boiling under his skin. Without any warning, he lunged forward and grabbed the boy’s jaw harshly, forcing it shut. “Don’t you _dare,_ do that again.” He said in a low, calculated voice. He was infuriated. He couldn’t believe that Frank would do that to him. He slowly began to tighten his grip, his nails digging into the soft skin of the boy’s jaw. “How would you enjoy it if I did that to _you_?” He questioned, leaning back but still holding onto Frank.

Frank struggled to pull back, but Gerard was a lot stronger than he looked. “Do you know how easily I could do that Frank? How easily I could just do _anything_ to you?” Gerard’s lip was curling up into a snarl as he leaned in close to Frank again, his voice lowering dangerously, making the boy shudder with panic as he tried to pull away again. Gerard’s grip only tightened, keeping him mere inches from his face as he spoke again. “But, I won’t, Frank.” Gerard breathed out, his fingers relaxing slightly as he realized how terrified Frank looked. He didn’t want Frank to be scared of him. After closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths, he leaned away and released the other’s face.

Frank was too scared to really say anything, not wanting to upset Gerard anymore, so he just leaned back against he couch to get himself further from the other man and moved his aching jaw around in an attempt to soothe it. “I won’t do that to you.” He heard Gerard continue. “I care about you, Frank” _Too much._ Gerard left unsaid. “But you need to understand that you can’t behave like that towards me. Please don’t make me ask you again. Okay?” He murmured, voice back to the usual soft and quiet tone that he liked to speak to the other boy in.

Frank had been nearly petrified as he listened to Gerard speak to him. The way that he had been looking at him a few moments before made him feel a little nauseous with fear. His eyes dark and wild as if he were thinking about which one of Frank’s limbs to cut off and eat first. Frank wouldn’t really be surprised if that were true. Slowly, he began to nod, avoiding the older man’s gaze as he tried to speak steadily. “I-I’m sorry…” He murmured, hating that he was unable to keep his speech from stuttering from how uncomfortable he was. “I- um, I won’t—I promise not to do that again.”

Gerard worried his lower lip between his teeth for a few moments as he just looked over Frank. “Thank you.” He smiled softly, and Frank watched as he ran a shaky hand through his short, white hair. It was an interesting hairstyle, Frank would admit. It wasn’t something that you would normally see on someone, and it actually really suit the other man quite nicely. Though Frank wasn’t able to concentrate on it for too long. He knew that he couldn’t get distracted, needing to stay focused on every movement that Gerard did, just in case his mood altered again.

It was concerning to Frank how quickly Gerard was able to shift between moods, and also how extreme the changes were. He didn’t just slowly get angry, instead, it was as if a fire was suddenly sparked deep inside of Gerard’s lungs. Like it consumed his entire body, making his skin burn violently, and he had to bare his teeth and scream to be able to endure the pain that his body was going through. It made Frank extremely wary to do anything else to upset the older man.

After a few moments of feeling Gerard stare at him, Frank glanced up at the other’s face for an instant before darting his gaze around the large living room. It was pretty nice; pretty _normal_ , actually. There wasn’t anything there that would tip anybody off that Gerard was a crazy person who kidnaps people. The room was decorated pretty plainly. There weren’t really any pictures or posters hanging up on the cream colored walls, making the room seem a little bigger than it was. Though there were two bookshelves. One on either side of the large television that was situated over the fire place, each one filled completely. The one on the right of the TV had a few books lining the shelves, though there were mostly comics and assorted knick knacks. The one on the left, however, had an extensive collection of – from what Frank could see from the couch – Horror films. There was a wide range and variety going from some old classics, to some that were more recent. If Frank weren’t currently being held captive, he would have been pretty excited to see such an amazing assortment of movies.

Gerard had been observing Frank as he glimpsed around the room, before he noticed that his gaze seemed to hitch onto something. He turned his body in the direction that Frank was looking, and smiled as he followed his eyes. He quirked his eyebrow up interestedly, and turned back to Frank. He had known that the boy enjoyed horror films, and with the way that Frank appeared to be enraptured by his collection, Gerard could tell that he was impressed. It made Gerard feel a little prideful, and he began to thrum his fingers against his thigh before forcing himself to speak. “I see that you noticed my movies.” He inquired, offering a tiny, upwards tilt of his lips.

Frank darted his gaze back to Gerard once he heard his voice, and it took him a moment to register what he had said. “Uh, oh- Yeah…” He replied, finding himself a tad embarrassed to be caught staring at Gerard’s possessions. “They, um… You’ve got quite a bit.” He found that he was having trouble just _speaking_ to the other normally. He was doing his best to not say anything rude or out of line, not wanting to risk Gerard getting mad again, so he just stuck to short sentences. He found that the less he said, the better, that way there was less of a chance that he would mess up. “I actually enjoy horror movies quite a bit.” It was the first time that he actually said something honest to Gerard, and he actually felt a little better when it made Gerard’s smile split wider over his features. Not because he enjoyed the other’s smile, but because when he was happy, he was less likely to do anything to hurt Frank.

Gerard had to refrain himself from telling Frank that he already knew that he was fond of horror movies, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable again. Instead, Gerard nodded and pushed himself off of the couch and began to walk over to his shelves. “Would you be up to watching one with me?” He questioned, hopefulness evident in his tone as he glanced back at Frank.

Frank considered it for a moment, supposing that a movie _would_ be better than just sitting in the quite room having to converse with Gerard. The distraction from his situation would be incredibly welcome. “Sure.” Frank mumbled in response, even though Gerard was already skimming through his movies to pick something out. Gerard nodded to his answer, and Frank just observed the older man for a minute. In just that moment, Gerard seemed like a normal guy. With the way that he leaned in close and ran his slender finger over the spine of the movie cases as he skimmed over the titles. He could hear Gerard humming faintly under his breath as well. It wasn’t really any specific tune, but just a few little random notes that seemed to spill from his lips absentmindedly.

As Frank watched him, he could almost convince himself that maybe he and Gerard were acquaintances. That he was there of his own free will and he was just hanging out over at the other’s house to watch a movie. Frank knew that it was stupid to try to pretend. He knew that he was currently trapped there, and the man that seemed normal for those few, tiny seconds, was actually the one that was keeping him there. Frank gave a dejected sigh, and sank back further into the cushions as if the weight of the situation was pushing him down.

After looking over the movies repeatedly, Gerard finally found what he was looking for. He had heard Frank talking on the phone about how it had been a while, and he wanted to watch that movie again sometime soon. He perked up and pulled it off of the shelf, before turning to Frank and holding it up for him. “Is Scream, okay?” He asked with a small smile. He liked that how it felt to smile, it wasn’t something he did often, but he couldn’t seem to stop now that Frank was so near. It seemed to help him with his pains as well. He found it easier to breathe and stay calm the closer that he was to the boy. The throbbing in his stomach and veins dwindling down close to nothing each time he touched him. Though, he still twitched, his fingers flicking every few seconds as if they needed to tangle into something and rip through it. Like they needed to _destroy_. The only difference when he was around Frank, was instead of being destructive, he felt like he needed to run his fingers over the other’s skin gently. To feel each dip and curve of his body, mapping out each scar or freckle that littered his skin. He had to be patient, he just needed to wait. Gerard could do that. He had been waiting for such a long time.

Frank was completely unaware of the thoughts that were currently flooding Gerard’s mind and drowning him. Too caught up in the fact that Gerard happened to pick the movie that he had actually been meaning to watch again soon. “Actually,” Frank started, eyebrow arching up slowly as he nodded. “That’s a perfect choice.” A tiny smile tugged on the boy’s lips as he answered, unaware that it was the first time his face had done it since he had gotten there.

Gerard’s heart rate quickened alarmingly at Frank’s extremely small expression, his breath hitching in his throat and his head spinning. It was the first time that he had reacted to Gerard in a positive way, and he could feel the fluttering in his stomach as he nodded back to Frank. “Ah- um. O-okay.” He stammered; voice a little unsteady from the rush he got only from the boy’s smile. He had to stand there for a moment, inhaling deeply in an attempt to steady himself before returning the smile to Frank after he finally began to move again, showing off his teeth as he began to move towards the DVD player.

Seeing Gerard’s smile was somewhat strange to Frank. After a few seconds of focusing on it, he realized it was because he had never really seen it before. At least, not one that looked that genuine. It made Gerard look considerably less sinister, and more like an actual person to Frank. Instead of some terrifying man that goes around taking people and kidnapping them. Frank didn’t actually _know_ if Gerard had kidnapped anyone before him, but nevertheless, the fact that Frank was currently tied up on the man’s couch, certainly didn’t help his case.

As Frank watched as Gerard put the disc in the DVD player, he reminded himself that he needed to be extremely cautious of him. Just because he seemed calm and harmless at the moment, didn’t mean that his mood wouldn’t flip around completely as it had done multiple times before. He realized that the best way to get out of there, was to be polite to Gerard. To only say nice things to him and make sure that nothing he said would make Gerard feel upset. He knew that it would be difficult to do, considering how much he didn’t like him, and that he would have to hold back quite a bit of things that he wanted to say. But if he had to do it to stay alive and escape, then he was willing to pretend to be Gerard’s friend until he was able to leave.

Frank was pulled From his thoughts as Gerard sat down beside him on the couch a few feet away – _thankfully_ – and Frank turned his head to him for just a moment. Fuck, his shoulders were really starting to ache, and he subconsciously tried to tug his hands in front of him. Of course it didn’t work, much to Frank’s disappointment. He had honestly thought that maybe this _one_ time, his hands would finally slip free from the rope, and he would be able to soothe the growing ache in his shoulders. “Fuck.” He whispered, dropping his head down as he tried to focus on anything else.

Gerard quirked his eyebrow up and glanced at Frank. “Are you okay?” He questioned, his voice heavy with concern.

Frank was a little startled by the intense care that was laced deep in Gerard’s voice. He never even heard it that concentrated in his own _mother’s_ voice, so he had a right to take a few seconds to be able to gather himself. “Yeah- no, um…” Frank mumbled, trying to gather his thoughts after they had been scattered. “It’s just my shoulders.”

Gerard was listening intently as Frank spoke to him, and he shook his head slightly. “What do you mean? Do they hurt?” Gerard asked in response, already moving closer to Frank to see what he could do to help.

Frank reflexively pulled back from the other, before he reminded himself that he needed to hide how uncomfortable he was around Gerard. “Yeah, they’re pretty sore…” He worried his lower lip between his teeth as Gerard began to carefully grab at his shoulders and he concealed his shudder of discomfort the best that he could. “I think it’s from being tied up…”

Gerard had a moment of realization and almost began to chastise himself for not knowing how uncomfortable the boy must have been. “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry.” He murmured, meaning it completely. “I had forgotten that it hurts to keep your arms like that for so long…” Gerard scooted himself closer and gently began to push Frank’s back to where he was leaning forwards.

“What are you doing?” Frank asked, attempting to look back at Gerard with a confused expression when he felt the other man’s fingers untying the rope. He felt a small spark of hopefulness surge through him when his hands slipped free from his restraints.

Gerard pulled back from Frank with the small length of rope wrapped around his fingers. “I’m going to let you move your arms for a minute to help your shoulders stop hurting.” He cleared his throat and ran his hand gently over the other’s shoulder. “But I’m going to have to tie you back up in a moment.” He frowned as he watched Frank’s expression fall into disappointment, and shook his head. “I’m sorry Frank, but as much as I don’t like it, I can’t trust you just yet to untie you permanently.” Gerard sighed heavily and began to bite his lower lip. “I’ll tie them in front of you this time, If that makes it any better.”

Frank had to hold back his glare as he stretched out his arms in front of him. He really wanted to just give his best shot at hitting Gerard and try to run away, but Gerard had been smart enough to keep his legs tied up. Instead, he realized that he should be grateful that he could at least move his arms finally. “Yeah…” He sighed, and raised his arms up above his head and arched his back. “Fuck.” He grunted pleasurably.

Gerard couldn’t hold back the faint shudder at the sound of Frank’s little groan, his eyes darting to the pale sliver of skin that was exposed when the boy’s shirt rode up. He could just barely see the dark lines of ink decorating his lower stomach, and he was immensely tempted to push up the fabric to see more. Luckily, Frank dropped his hands back to his lap, so he was able to hold himself back. After clearing his throat once again, he ran a shaky hand through his hair and glanced at the rope that was in his other. “Do your shoulders feel any better?” He questioned sincerely.

Frank exhaled noisily; rolling his shoulders before looking back at Gerard. “Yeah, but they’re still a little sore.” He told Gerard, hopeful that he would let him stay free from the rope for a little while longer. Of course, Frank’s luck wasn’t _that_ good, and Gerard was already reaching for his wrists again.

“I’m sorry, Frankie.” Gerard murmured, not paying attention to the way that Frank’s face contorted into discomfort at the nickname, and he gently began to bind the other’s wrists together. “They should feel better soon since your arms won’t be trapped behind you anymore.” He tried, hoping that Frank really did feel better soon.

Frank leaned back against the couch again, and closed his eyes for a moment. God, he really wanted to get out of there. It wasn’t really that Gerard was doing anything terrible to him – _yet_ , at least – but he just didn’t like being taken and held somewhere against his will. Though, this could all be a game to Gerard. Maybe Gerard liked to trick his victims that he cared for them, and that he just wanted to spend time with them, before he killed them mercilessly. Of course, it was all speculation, but Frank had no way of knowing if he was extremely far off, or completely accurate. “I guess so…” He mumbled, looking up at the dark TV screen. “Aren’t we going to watch a movie?” He asked, trying to take his mind off of everything.

“Hm?” Gerard raised his eyebrows curiously, having forgotten momentarily that they were going to watch something together. “Oh! Yeah- yes.” He said suddenly as he glanced at the television. “I just forgot to turn it on.”  He breathed a small laugh at himself as he reached for the remote and picked it off of the coffee table in front of them. After flicking it on, he looked over Frank, his eyed catching on the rope that was keeping his legs together. “You know…I um- I guess I could untie your legs. If you’d like.” He offered. He figured that even though Frank would be able to try to run away with his legs free, he wouldn’t be able to really do much to defend himself with his hands still tied.

Frank moved his eyes from the screen that was now showing previews for whatever movies were coming out when the movie was made, and had to take a moment to comprehend what Gerard had just told him. “Really?” He asked, of fucking course he wanted this legs untied. Who the hell in their right mind wouldn’t? He had to refrain himself from responding rudely, and just nodded his head instead. “Um, Yeah. That would be great actually.”

Gerard smiled at the boy, and mimicked his nod. “Alright, I’ll hurry up and do that before the movie starts.” He replied, and slid himself off of the couch to get on his knees; making it easier for him to reach Frank’s ankles. He felt so much fucking better than he had in _years_. Something about having Frank so close to him muted the pain that was always festering inside of him. It was still there of course, Gerard never expected it to go away completely, but it wasn’t as violent as it normally was. His fingers still twitched as he began to pull the knot of the rope loose, but not terribly. Not how it was before.

Gerard hadn’t anticipated how close the position would bring him to Frank’s crotch; it was extremely tempting for him as he began to struggle untying Frank. “S-sorry I’m taking so long.” He stammered out, trying to block out the intrusive thoughts of the younger man. It would be so _easy_ for Gerard to lean forward and bury his face between Frank’s legs, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t allow himself to do that. He knew that Frank would be very upset if he _did._

Frank had no idea what was going through Gerard’s mind, which was probably for the best. If he had known, he would have been doing anything to get himself away from the other man. Instead, he was just impatiently waiting for his legs to finally be free. “It’s fine.” He lied, and brought both of his hands up to scratch at his nose while he watched Gerard.

There was a mixture of relief and disappointment when Gerard finally pulled the rope from around Frank’s legs, but he didn’t let it show on his face as he pulled himself back onto the couch with a grunt. “Is that better?” He asked, eyed flickering to the screen for a moment as the title screen came on.

Frank eagerly moved his legs apart and stretched them out. He never really used to appreciate how pleasing it was to be able to move his limbs before he had been tied up for so long. “Yeah, it’s a lot better.” He groaned out mid-stretch. He was grateful that Gerard was nice enough to let him have his legs loose, though he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he would _rather_ be anywhere but Gerard’s home.

Gerard nodded with a faint smile, and shuffled a little closer to Frank as the movie began to start. “I-I can- um, I can try to help you with your shoulders. If you’d, y’know, if you’d like?” He offered; fingers itching to run over Frank’s upper back.

Frank looked at Gerard a little puzzled. “How would you help?”

Gerard raised his hands up as a way to sort of show Frank, and wiggled his fingers. “I could rub them for you.” He suggested, and raised his eyebrows hopefully.

Frank could already feel the discomfort rising in his stomach as he thought about Gerard touching him for a prolonged period of time. “U-um, no, no…That’s—“ He cleared his throat nervously and darted his gaze around the room. “I’m okay.” Frank attempted to convince Gerard, discretely leaning away.

“Frank, trust me.” Gerard murmured, placing his hands on the boy’s back despite what he was saying. “They won’t hurt anymore if you let me…” He leaned in close and slowly began to rub his thumbs in soothing circles over Frank’s shoulders; squeezing his fingers every few seconds to help loosen the muscles.

Frank was on the verge of protesting, before he felt the ache in his upper body begin to melt away at Gerard’s touch. _Holy fuck_. It felt so _incredible_. He was almost able to forget who it was that was touching him with how good it felt. “ _God_.” He drawled out on a low groan, his head lolling back as he felt the cool fingertips digging into his aching muscles.

Gerard’s fingers flexed tightly at the noise, his body tensing as he felt his stomach flutter. It was so hard to try to think about anything else when Frank kept making little pleased grunts of relaxation. “S-so- um—“ Gerard stammered out, working his fingers over the fabric of Frank’s shirt. “Does this- does this feel…nice?” He questioned, heart rate quickening each time Frank made any noise that resembled a moan.

Frank really hated to admit it, but it was quite enjoyable. “Yeah, mnh- it actually feels really nice.” He groaned, and let his eyes flutter shut. Frank was beginning to feel the desire for sleep creeping up on him, his entire body suddenly seeming to be drained of all energy; limbs feeling heavier than they did a moment ago. It must have been pretty late. Frank remembered closing up at the library at 8:30 that night, and he had to have been asleep in the car for at least a few hours; judging by how disoriented he felt when he woke up. “What time is it?” He mumbled drowsily as he attempted to turn back to look at Gerard.

Gerard pulled one hand off of Frank and turned it so he was able to read his watch. “it’s about to be three o’ clock in the morning.” He informed the other, returning his hand to his shoulder. “Are you getting tired?”

Frank shook his head, not wanting to let Gerard know how exhausted he felt. He didn’t want to find out what the sleeping arrangements were. “No, no I’m—“ He was interrupted by a yawn spilling past his lips, and he shook his head as he closed his mouth again. “I’m fine. I was just wondering.”

It was obvious to Gerard that Frank was just lying to him, but he knew that it wasn’t a big deal. Gerard wasn’t tired himself, and it was nice to have someone sitting with him watching the movie. “Of course, Frankie. Whatever you say.” He smiled, removing his hands from Frank’s shoulders and scooting away to sit on the other end of the couch. He would have enjoyed touching Frank for a longer amount of time – the feeling of Frank’s muscles moving under his fingertips soothing him, while also sending pleasurable shivers running through his body – but he knew that he needed to stop himself. If he had continued for any longer, Gerard didn’t know if he would have been able to stop himself from moving to touch Frank under his clothes, no matter how much the other would protest. He didn’t want to do that to Frank. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did something like that to him.

Frank was surprised at himself when he felt a slight bit of disappointment when Gerard moved away. He still hated Gerard, but he couldn’t deny that it felt amazing to get his shoulders rubbed. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done that for him. Frank didn’t say anything more to Gerard after that, opting to just bring his hands up to his eyes in an attempt to rub the sleep out of them. He felt so drained; both emotionally and physically. It would be so easy for him to just lay down and fall asleep, but he was too worried about what Gerard would be tempted to do if he did that.

Gerard could tell that Frank needed to go to bed, he wished that Frank was comfortable enough with him to snuggle up together. Though knew that it would take some time, and just as he was about to offer to move to the lounge chair beside the couch so Frank could lay down, the sound of a telephone interrupted him. He furrowed his brow in confusion for a moment. No one ever called him, no one even had his _number_. He was just a second away from pushing himself off of the couch, before he realized that the sound was coming from the screen.

He watched the character Casey Becker picked up the phone, answering with the usual ‘Hello?’ to ask who it was. The the ominous caller repeating the word back to her in a casual, almost teasing, tone in response. It was only a few seconds into the movie, and Gerard was already captivated. He had almost forgotten _just_ how much he loved it. Frank was getting into it as well, just not as much. It was true that he had been wanting to watch it again, but he was almost too tired to really focus on it properly.

Gerard could already feel the excitement bubbling up in him as Casey had the first, brief conversation with the caller, before hanging up. The second time the phone rang just caused Gerard to pull his lower lip between his teeth in anticipation. He had seen this movie plenty of times before. It was actually one of his favorites, though usually when he watched it, he was alone. He listened closely as the character on the screen answered the ringing phone exasperatedly, annoyed that the phone had rang a second time in such quick succession. Gerard knew what was going to happen; he knew that Casey’s demise was coming soon, but it was the thrill of waiting for it that made Gerard’s fingers ache slightly, and his breathing to become shallow.

Frank watched with a amused smile as it got to the part where the girl on the movie was putting popcorn on the stove, and the phone rang for the third time. He murmured along as it got to the iconic line that everyone remembers from the film. “What’s your favorite scary movie?” He couldn’t stop from giggling when he heard Gerard do it too. Normally he would have been able to hold it in, but he wasn’t really able to function properly as he felt the need to sleep become more severe. Besides, his friends Ray and Bob always threw things at him whenever he talked along to the movie, so it was nice to know that Gerard wasn’t getting annoyed at him.

Gerard felt his breath hitch in his throat at Frank’s tiny laugh. The sound of it causing sparks to erupt through his veins, and butterflies to beat their wings mercilessly in the pit of his stomach. He had to use most of his mental strength to not push the boy down and climb over him to press delicate kisses all over his face. Instead, he continued to face the screen, digging crescent shaped marks into his palms with his fingernails. When he finally managed to focus on the film again, he watched as Casey turned on her patio lights, the blonde haired character now becoming suspicious that she was being watched.

Of course there was nothing there; not _yet_ anyways. A few moments later, after hanging up on the stranger two more times, She gets called _again._ She answers with an aggressive tone. ‘ _Listen, Asshole—‘_ But she’s cut off. This time, the voice isn’t as casual, instead it’s harsh and angry as it speaks back to her. ‘ _No you listen, you little_ bitch _. You hang up on me again and I’ll_ gut _you like a_ fish _. Understand?’_  Gerard lived for the fear that is evident on Casey’s face, the expression causing heat to pool familiarly in his lower stomach as he watched. When the caller called the woman ‘ _blondie_ ’, She hung up and began to run through her house, attempting to lock all of the doors as she did so. It was so nice to see how she reacted. Gerard always had a thing for teasing his own victims. He was always fond of how they acted when they were fearing for their lives. It was his own sick and twisted version of porn.

He felt his cock twitch at the frightened shriek the girl on the screen gave when the doorbell suddenly rang. His breathing picked up as she backed away from the door, and the phone rang again, making Casey jump and scream again. Gerard glanced over at Frank, thankful that he wasn’t paying any attention to him at all, and flicked his gaze back to the screen. He felt his pants slowly grow tighter as the girl began to sob shakily, fear beginning to overcome her. The way that she begged for the strange man to leave her alone only making him stifle a moan that threatened to spill out of him as he shifted in his seat.

He shoved his hands between his thighs to settle himself down as Casey was told to turn on her patio lights again, only to see her boyfriend gagged and bound to a chair. The anguished cry as the sight sent chills of pleasure running up Gerard’s spine, and he closed his eyes in an attempt to steady himself. Fuck, he really didn’t think it through about watching the movie with Frank. He had forgotten about the affect that horror movies had on him; his cock now straining against the zipper of his pants.

Frank couldn’t do it anymore, no matter how much he wanted to stay awake, he wasn’t able to keep his eyes open any longer. His lids drooped closed as he slumped back further into the couch; the darkness of sleep encircling his mind almost immediately.

Gerard opened his eyes and looked over to Frank again; pleasantly surprised to see that he had fallen asleep. It made him feel a lot less awkward about his problem. He needed to leave the room and take care of it, his erection becoming extremely uncomfortable as he continued to sit there. He began to push himself off of the couch when he unexpectedly felt Frank slouch over onto his right shoulder. The slight shock of it caused him to sit back onto the cushions, the feeling of the boy leaning against him sending jolts of delight through his body.

Another scream sounded from the television, bringing the older man’s attention back to the screen, reminding him of his dilemma. “Shit…” He whispered, he needed relief. His body felt like it was overheating, a sheen of sweat covering his skin; making his clothes stick uncomfortably to his body. He shifted against the cushions, moving his hips and adjusting himself in his pants, when he suddenly felt Frank slip off of his shoulder and land in his lap from the movement. Gerard gasped quietly, his hand flying up to his mouth to stifle any other noises that threatened to spill out at the unexpected pressure on his crotch.

“Holy _fuck_ …” He breathed in a low voice, looking down in a mixture of awe and lust at Frank. There was no way that he was going to be able to pay attention to the movie anymore if he even _wanted_ to. Though, with the way that Frank made soft little noises in his sleep, Gerard _didn’t_ want to. He knew that he should have moved Frank off of him. That’s what the other would have wanted him to do if he were currently conscious. But there was pressure _right there_ and it was _Frank_ that doing it, and his body was sending tiny electric shocks jolting through him each time that Frank barely even _moved_.

Gerard bit down on his fingers in an attempt to distract himself. If he hadn’t been so fucking hard, it would have been nice for him. Frank looked rather adorable lying there on his lap, and it would have been a lovely little intimate moment. He had often sat alone on that couch before, thinking about how much he wanted Frank to be there with him, laying on him in the same fashion that he currently was. It was something that he had craved.

Gerard realized after a few moments of thinking, that it would be best for him in the long run if he just moved out from under Frank’s head, and sat in the recliner chair that was beside the couch. Of course he would probably have to make a quick stop at the restroom to give himself some relief from his ‘problem’ before he sat down again.

Just as Gerard was mustering up the mental strength he would need to move the boy off of him, Frank emitted a tiny groan. It was soft and barely audible, but it still reached Gerard’s desperate ears, unexpectedly making his hips buck up slightly against Frank’s face. The movement made Frank stir slightly in his sleep, his face turning and burying itself deep into Gerard’s crotch. “O-oh, god.” Gerard rasped, his voice sounding completely shot. He moved his hands to grip at the arm and back of the couch to stop himself from flinging his fingers to tangle in the dark mohawk. His body felt like it was tearing itself apart from the inside out as he refrained himself from giving in to his impulses.

Frank groaned in his sleep again, and Gerard threw his head back against he cushions as he struggled to keep his hips from twitching up into the alluring warmth of Frank’s face. It was becoming too much. Each sound and minute movement that Frank made made his cock twitch with interest as it pressed against the front of his pants. He could already feel it leaking heavily, dampening his jeans along with Frank’s saliva that was drooling out of his mouth, seeping down to his erection. God it felt euphoric. He couldn’t stop the small noises of pleasure from spilling past his lips as his body began to grind his hips up agonizingly slowly against Frank.

He knew that he should stop. He knew it was wrong to do this without Frank having any knowledge of his actions. He felt terrible, but the pleasure twisting itself in his stomach each time his hips twitched up was just too enticing. He hadn’t felt anything like it in so long. It had never felt as good when he touched himself, the pleasure never as intense as it was in that moment. He had waited _so long_ for Frank to touch him in that manner. Each time that he had seen the young man in the library he had been filled with desire. He knew that he was much too old for Frank, that it was entirely too creepy that he had practically stalked the boy for over a year, but his mind was too clouded with arousal for him to care in that moment. His craving for Frank was much too strong for him to feel the need to really reevaluate the nature of his relationship with the other.

Gerard’s breathing was coming out in quick little pants; puffs of hot air blowing out past his lips as he struggled to keep himself calm. He could hear his blood begin to rush through his veins as heat pooled in his gut, his muscles began to tighten as he bit down roughly on his lip. God, he was so fucking close already. It would have been embarrassing to him how quickly he was brought to the edge had Frank been awake, but luckily the boy was still deep in unconsciousness as he looked down at his lap. Gerard couldn’t help but admire how beautiful he was. It was almost too much for him to handle, his splendor just too much for his brain to actually comprehend fully, it seemed.

Just then, as he stared down at Frank, the younger man nuzzled against his aching erection, mouth opening against the head of his cock through the fabric in his sleep. Gerard’s own mouth dropped open in pure ecstasy as his orgasm rapidly coiled in his stomach, ripping through him almost violently as his eyes rolled back in his head from pleasure. He came heavily in his pants, nails digging so roughly into the couch that the faint tear of the fabric could be heard, and he strained to keep his hips from shaking too forcefully. He couldn’t risk waking Frank up, especially not now.

Gerard managed to only allow a few faint moans spill past his lips as he threw his head back against the couch. He was so fucking tempted to tangle his fingers into Frank’s hair and grind against him as he rode out his orgasm, but he was able to control the extremely strong impulse. “Shit.” He whispered, toes curling and uncurling as he slowly came down. His muscles began to relax after what felt like _ages_ and he slumped back completely. His hands finally released their death-grip on the cushions, and he rasped in each breath. It took a lot out of him, his limbs feeling weak and useless, unable to hold his head up for more than a second, but it was worth it. He had never felt anything that euphoric in his _life._ Not even whenever he killed someone. That was something that Gerard had thought would be impossible, but he was so grateful that he had been wrong.

He could only imagine how remarkable it would be when Frank was actually touching him intentionally, and not just snuggling against him in his sleep. That’s when Gerard realized just how _wrong_ what he had done was, without the fog of arousal clouding his judgment. God, Frank would never have wanted him to do that. Why was he so fucking _terrible_? Gerard began to feel his hatred for himself rising to a dangerous level. Sure, it had been great while it was happening, but hell, what the fuck had he been thinking? He should have just let Frank sleep. He should have moved him and relieved himself before it had escalated. God, he was lucky that Frank was apparently a heavy sleeper, Gerard didn’t know what he would have done if he had woken up.

Gerard looked down at himself in shame and complete disgust, he could feel his cum already cooling in his jeans. It was uncomfortably sticky against his skin, making him feel even more gross than he already had. He deserved it though, he deserved to be uncomfortable, and to feel terrible. “God, Frankie, I’m so sorry…” He murmured softly. His fingers twitched painfully, desiring to run through Frank’s hair, but Gerard didn’t let them. He wanted to hurt. He wanted to punish himself for practically violating Frank. The best way that he knew how to do that, was to bring himself away from the young man. Each time he wasn’t near Frank, his body always felt like it was shredding itself, burning and suffocating  itself with retching pain that was near possible to describe.

So, Gerard cautiously lifted Frank’s head from his lap and slipped out from under him. He carefully lied him back down against the cushions where he had been sitting, and grabbed the blanket that was thrown over the back of the couch. He brought it to rest over Frank’s body, making sure that his feet weren’t poking out from the end of it. Gerard knew that it tended to get rather cold in the large house, and he didn’t want Frank to suffer from that. After making sure that Frank looked comfortable enough, Gerard made his way out of the living room.

He walked down the long hallway that connected to quite a few other rooms, passing each of them in favor of heading towards the staircase at the end of the hall. He climbed the stairs slowly, each step he took away from the sleeping figure on his couch filling him with terrible thoughts and pain. By the time he reached the top of the stairs, Gerard was breathing heavily. He didn’t want to leave Frank. He didn’t want to be away from him for even a _second_. He pushed himself to walk further anyways, brow furrowing in extreme discomfort.

He knew that the pain was all in his head. Gerard wasn’t stupid, he knew that it was completely irrational for his body to _actually_ be in real physical pain just from being further away from one person, or from not killing someone. But that didn’t make it feel any less _real_. It still fucking hurt, no matter how much he tried to stop it. He realized that he could go to a doctor, and get drugged up on pills to help, but that’s not what he wanted. He felt like the pills would change him. Like they would make him a completely different person than what he knew himself to be. Sure, it would be a positive change, but he was too scared. He didn’t want to risk it.

Gerard was beginning to regret his decision of leaving Frank. He knew that what he had done had been wrong, but what would Frank do when he woke up and Gerard wasn’t there? What if he tried to escape? Shit, what was Gerard thinking? He needed to get back down there soon. Gerard knew that it would be quite a few moment’s before Frank woke up on his own, but he couldn’t stop himself from panicking slightly. He decided that he would change his pants quickly, and go back down to the living room as soon as he was able to.

When Gerard reached his room, he pulled out the key that belonged to his door and unlocked it quickly. As he stepped into the familiar bedroom, he felt a little bit calmer, his breathing slowing down to a reasonable pace. His room was his own little sanctuary that no one else had ever been into. He felt safe there, like none of his bad thoughts could reach him. Of course they still did, but something about being in that room made them seem less prominent in his mind.

Gerard walked over to his chest of drawers and crouched down to get to the bottom. He rummaged through the articles of clothing before finally pulling out a dark pair grey sweatpants, and tossing it behind him onto the bed. He was about to go through a different drawer in search of a clean pair of boxers, before he decided that he would rather go without them. He stood back up with a quiet grunt, and finally began to undo his pants. It didn’t take much longer before he started to peel the tight, black jeans off of his legs, and sighed in relief as he did the same with his underwear. The cool air hit his still messy crotch, making him shudder uncomfortably and hurriedly make his way to the restroom that was connected to his own room to clean himself off.

When he returned, he retrieved his pants from his bed and slipped the soft fabric over his legs and tied the string to keep them up. He felt much better once he was in clean clothes, but it still wasn’t enough for Gerard. After a few moments of mulling it over, Gerard decided to tug his shirt up and over his head, throwing the discarded fabric into the pile of his previously shed clothes. He felt immensely better once the pale flesh of his upper body was exposed to the cool air. The man stretched his arms up over his head and groaned pleasurably as his back popped a few times, and he finally started to make his way out of his room again.

It was such a nice thing to Gerard that he was now able to see Frank whenever he desired to. He was just right there in the other room! He smiled to himself as he got closer and closer to the living space, and he was pleased to see that Frank was exactly how he had left him. He looked so peaceful while he slept , and Gerard could feel his heart swelling with warmth as he watched him. He was so head over heels in love with Frank it was fucking ridiculous. But Gerard didn’t care, and he didn’t think that he ever would.

As he looked at Frank for a moment longer, he realized that he should be going to bed soon _himself_. It was really late, and while Gerard’s sleeping schedule was as fucked up as he was, he still needed to sleep _sometime_. Gerard knew that he couldn’t leave Frank there by himself, so he thought of an idea. Slowly, he stepped closer to the sleeping man on his couch, and crouched down in front of him.

“Hey, Frankie…” He cooed, carefully running his hand over the boy’s shoulder in an attempt to wake him from his sleep. All he got in return was an irritated groan, and he shook his head with a slight smile. He found it rather endearing the way that Frank’s face scrunched up in annoyance when he tried again. “Come on, Darling.” He murmured, speaking a little louder this time.

Frank was so fucking angry, why the fuck was someone trying to wake him up? Frank was so exhausted, and whoever it was, was going to get hell to pay when he actually got up. “Fuck off.” He grumbled tiredly, and tugged the blanket over his head in defiance.

“Now now.” Gerard scolded lightly, trying to pull the cover back down. “What did I say about talking to me like that?”

Frank froze suddenly, now that he was beginning to wake up, he was able to realize who was talking to him, and where he was. _Goddammit!_ He had been so convinced that it was all just a terrible nightmare, that he was still in his crappy bed in his room at his parents house. He never knew that he would have been disappointed to find out that that wasn’t where he was. He was normally grateful to get out of that miserable house, but that wasn’t the case this time. The boy suddenly remembered that he had done something that Gerard had asked him not to do, and he quickly attempted to make amends. “I’m sorry, I forgot.” He mumbled, voice deep and still thick with sleep as he pulled the blanket back down.

His eyes widened when he was surprised by Gerard’s smiling face just mere inches from his own, and he flinched back, slightly startled. “It’s okay Frankie, I know it can be irritating to be woken up.” He chuckled warmly, and Frank just nodded in agreement as he began to push himself into a sitting position. It was difficult to do with how his hands were tied together, and he began to fall forwards off of the couch with an embarrassing noise. Of course, for the second time, Gerard was quick to catch him; Frank’s face pressing up against the man’s chest. The man’s _bare_ chest. What the fuck? When the hell did that happen?

As Frank was pushed back up, his eyes ran over the newly exposed skin on their own accord. Gerard was surprisingly very toned, his pale skin stretched taught over slightly defined muscles. Much to Frank’s dismay, he couldn’t stop himself from finding it _very_ appealing to look at. He was brought out of his daze at the sound of Gerard clearing his throat, and his face flushed deeply in embarrassment.

It would have been impossible for Gerard to not notice the way that Frank had been staring at him. He couldn’t help the way that he felt a little pleased, a rush of delight running through him from the knowledge that Frank found his body pleasing to the eye. He smiled in a way that could almost be described as smugly – if Gerard hadn’t actually had extreme low self esteem – when the other’s face heated up. “You look very lovely when you blush.” Gerard complemented, and smiled wider when it resulted in Frank sputtering wildly.

Frank couldn’t believe that Gerard had just said that. God, he wanted to just bury himself, if only Gerard would kill him already so he didn’t have to live with the embarrassment. He was just tired, that was it. He didn’t really like the way that the older man’s chest looked. Besides, it had been so fucking long since he had gotten any, much to his disappointment. So he was just a little deprived, that’s all it was. “Why _did_ you wake me up, anyways?” He inquired, keeping his gaze lowered to the floor and changing the subject to something more bearable.

Gerard had almost forgotten and was slightly caught off guard by the subject change. “Oh, yes.” He said and pushed himself back into a standing position. “I was going to go to bed, and I didn’t want to leave you out here all by yourself.” He finished, feeling as though that was a sufficient answer.

“So, um, where am I going to sleep then?” He asked, hoping to whatever it was that was watching over him that it wasn’t going to be in Gerard’s room. Of course, if the past twenty four hours wasn’t enough to prove how terrible his luck was, what Gerard said next sure was.

“I was going to bring you back to my room.” Gerard said simply, and reached out for Frank’s hand to help him up. “My bed is big enough for us both, and I’ll be sure to give you space Frankie. It’s much more comfortable than this couch is anyways.”

Frank was too tired to even argue, no matter how much he didn’t want to go back there with the man. When he looked up at Gerard again, his gaze hitched onto how _low_ the dark sweats were hanging on the other’s hips. He was able to see the sharp hipbones jutting out just above the waistband; a light trail of dark, coarse hairs going from his naval and disappearing down into the pants. Frank’s mouth went dry, as if it had suddenly been filled with cotton. Was Gerard even wearing _underwear_? God, he must have been _really_ worn-out mentally. Frank was certain that he wouldn’t have been so mesmerized by Gerard’s body if that wasn’t the case.

After what had to have been quite a few seconds of staring at Gerard’s lower abdomen, Frank realized that there was a hand stretched out towards him. “Oh.” He said dumbly and willingly took the other’s hand to help himself stand up. Gerard’s hands always seemed to be so cold, just like every single doctor’s that he visited with the many times that he had gotten sick, or hurt from doing something stupid and reckless. It wasn’t necessarily a _bad_ thing. Frank’s hands were always on the warm side, so it seemed to balance out the temperatures quite nicely. He was a little surprised when Gerard untied his wrists completely, but he realized it was because Gerard knew that he was too exhausted to really try to escape. It was quite a few moments after Gerard laced their fingers together, and began to guide him towards his room, that Frank realized that he hadn’t let go. What was even worse, was that Frank didn’t really _mind_ the way that their fingers were clasped together. The realization startled the younger one slightly, and he was suddenly uncomfortable again. Fuck, he really needed to get some sleep.

Gerard happily lead Frank towards the stairs, his fingers no longer twitching and aching as they were holding onto the other’s. It was nice, a small smile tugging on his lips as he turned and looked down at Frank lovingly. “It’s right up here.” He murmured, even though it was obvious since they were currently climbing up the wide staircase together.

Frank nodded drowsily in response, using his free hand to rub at his eyes as he pushed himself up the steps. He noticed that Gerard was smiling down at him, the expression was filled with so much affection, that Frank was certain that his sleep deprived brain was just imagining it. He returned the smile, regardless. It was weak and tired, but the upwards tilt of his lips was still noticeable to Gerard. He always paid extreme attention to Frank’s features, so it would have been impossible for him to miss.

Gerard hummed contentedly, It was very enjoyable for him that Frank was entirely too tired to protest that he was trapped there with him. It made the illusion that Frank _wanted_ to be there, more believable for him.

“Okay.” Gerard started as he pushed the his bedroom door open once they reached it. He had forgotten to lock it back earlier with how hasty he was to return to Frank, which reminded him that he needed to get the key from his dirty pair of pants. “Which side of the bed would you like?” He questioned, eager to accommodate his own sleeping arrangements for the younger one’s comfort.

Frank looked around the room as Gerard spoke to him. It was weird to be in the place that his kidnapper slept, and probably did _other things_ amongst the sheets. He shuddered at the thought, passing it off as a result of the cool air when Gerard gave him a weird look.

Gerard hummed and released Frank’s hand as he walked over to his pants and picked up the key from the right pocket. “Well?” He asked once he stood up, gesturing to the bed. “Are you going to answer me, Frankie?”

Frank furrowed his brow before he remembered that the older man had asked him about his preference in the side of the bed. “Um, I don’t know.” He shrugged. He really didn’t want to choose the wrong one and make Gerard upset at him.

The taller of the two sighed softly, understanding why Frank was so apprehensive. “It’s okay, Frank.” He murmured, moving to stand behind Frank and placing his hands on his waist. “Just choose a side, I promise it doesn’t matter to me.” He spoke softly, leaning his head to rest on the other’s shoulder.

Frank fought the urge to shake Gerard off of him, and realized the faster he picked, the faster Gerard would move. “I guess the left side.” He stated, and nodded in the general direction. He never really thought about what side of the bed he preferred. He only had a twin sized mattress, and there was really only _one_ side to pick from in that case. Frank didn’t know that the prospect of getting a choice would be so stressful.

He felt Gerard give a short nod against him, the heat radiating from the other’s body soon disappeared as he moved away. “Okay, I usually sleep on the right side anyways.” He said cheerily, and nudged the boy towards the mattress as he turned to walk towards his closet. “Just go ahead and get comfortable. I’ll grab you something that you can sleep in before I go get something else.” He informed Frank, and retreated towards his dresser. He bent down again to get to the bottom drawer, knowing that there was an extra pair of sweats that Frank would be able to wear, and he smiled triumphantly when he found them buried at the bottom.

He turned back to see that Frank was sitting on the bed, tugging his shoes off after wearing them all day, and he almost felt a little bad for not taking them off earlier. Gerard moved to hand the boy a pair of bottoms, and grinned. “Would you like a shirt to wear too? I don’t know how you like to sleep, but I can’t stand to have one on. It makes me feel like I’m constricted.” He said with a tiny laugh, and tilted his head as he waited for a response.

“I would like a shirt for now.” Frank answered. He didn’t feel comfortable enough to be around Gerard without a shirt on.

Gerard was a little disappointed, of course, but he still nodded and headed towards his closet. He grabbed an old, faded Misfits shirt from the back. It was obvious that it would be a little big on Frank’s smaller frame, but it was the only shirt he had that really _suited_ the other boy. Before Gerard turned back to give the article of clothing to him though, he crouched down and pulled out a small shoe box from the side of the closet. After sorting through the contents of it, he found what he was looking for. It was a pair of black, leather ankle cuffs that had suede padding on the insides, and little locks to keep them secured. He only pulled out just one for the time being – along with the key – and pushed himself back into a standing position.

“I figured that you would like to wear this shirt the best.” Gerard said to Frank who was now leaning up against the headboard with his knees drawn up to his chest. He looked as though he could fall asleep at any moment.

That is honestly _exactly_ how Frank felt just then. He barely even comprehended anything that Gerard was babbling about towards him. “Thanks” He mumbled tiredly and reached groggily for the fabric when Gerard handed it towards him. A lazy smile spread over his features when he held it out in front of him to see the picture that was printed over the material. He was honestly impressed when he saw the vintage printing of the Misfits logo staring back at him. It looked like it had to have been made back when the band was really popular. It was worn and faded, the image on it looking cracked from age, and not how some shirts are _made_ to look like that. This was _authentic_. “ _Thanks_.” Frank said a little more enthusiastically, and smiled up at Gerard.

Gerard grinned back at Frank, glad that he appreciated what he picked out. He always felt a little lightheaded whenever the boy smiled at him, his heart rate increasing as he watched the expression form on the other’s face. “It’s no problem.” He replied softly. “You can go ahead and get dressed, I’ll just turn around.” He told Frank, already turning his body to where his back was facing the other. “I _would_ leave the room to give you more privacy, or I would let you use the bathroom, but I don’t want you to be in a room by yourself just yet.” Gerard said as he moved to his door to lock it, and faced the wall before Frank was able to protest.

Frank realized that it would be best if he didn’t try to argue with the older man, he was too tired to face what kind of consequences that would bring if he did. He stood up off of the mattress, and quickly slipped his own clothes off of himself, letting them fall to the floor. After glancing up at Gerard to make sure that he wasn’t watching him, he pulled the other man’s pants onto his body; frowning to himself when they slipped _dangerously_ close to falling off of his hips, even with the string tied as tight as it could go. “Whatever.” He grumbled under his breath and reached for the shirt.

“How did you even _know_ that I liked the Misfits?” Frank questioned when he realized that he had never actually _told_ Gerard about his interests in music.

Gerard briefly went ridged at he question, he hadn’t anticipated that Frank would ask him something like that. He didn’t want to go into the whole ‘Oh yeah, we met over a year ago and you told me a lot about yourself, then I proceeded to stalk you until finally gathering up the nerve to talk to you.’ Thing, so he just stuck to giving Frank a simple, but believable answer. “Oh. Well, I just remember coming into the library one day a few weeks ago, and you had a Misfits shirt on.” He shrugged casually, still facing the wall.

Frank wracked his brain to try to remember if he actually _had_ worn a shirt like that recently, but he was drawing a blank. He had no way of really _knowing_ if Gerard was lying to him or not. “Ohh, okay.” He offered a chuckle after he spoke, and tugged the fabric over his head. Once he pushed his arms through their respective holes, he smoothed out the wrinkles and cleared his throat. “You can turn around now, I guess.” He mumbled and hopped back onto the bed.

Gerard hummed quietly and turned back to face the boy. He walked over and picked up the clothes he discarded on the floor, and threw them to rest in the corner with his own dirty clothes. He had to remember to get them cleaned tomorrow. “Now.” Gerard started. “I’m going to need to cuff one of your ankles to the bedpost.” He held up the cuff to show Frank, and shook it slightly as he stepped closer to the mattress.

Frank should have known that Gerard was going to do something like that. “Gerard, _please_. I just—“ He began to complain, but Gerard gave him this little look that made it seem like he was _disappointed_ in him, and Frank immediately didn’t like it. Which was stupid, since he didn’t _care_ what Gerard thought of him. “Fine.” He said instead, and stretched his left foot towards the end of the bed.

A tiny smile graced Gerard’s lips at how compliant Frank was being. He knew that the younger didn’t enjoy being tied or bound. Gerard himself hated it as well, but it was necessary for him to do it. He had hope that soon enough he would be able to trust Frank to be free completely, without the worry of him leaving him.

He grabbed Frank’s ankle gently, making sure to be careful as he wrapped the cuff around him, making sure that it was secure. “That’s not too tight, is it?” He asked thoughtfully as he began to fastened it to the bedpost.

Frank shook his head to indicate that the tightness of it was fine. “It’s okay.” He responded, and was surprised with himself that he didn’t lie to Gerard and ask him to loosen it, that way he might have a chance to slip out of it during the night.

Nodding, Gerard pulled out a small key from the pocket of his sweatpants and secured the lock, tugging on the cuff to make sure that it wouldn’t come undone while he was sleeping. “There we go.” He smiled, patting Frank’s leg and making his way to his side of the bed. Frank watched as Gerard put the key in the drawer of the bedside table, and sighed to himself when he realized that it was much too far for him to be able to reach with his leg bound to the post. After Frank turned himself to face the wall opposite of Gerard, he felt the bed dip down under the weight of the older man.

“I only have one blanket.” He heard Gerard say, sounding like he was actually sorry that he wasn’t able to give Frank his own cover to use.

“That’s okay.” Frank mumbled, too drained to even give a fuck anymore. He was a little startled when he felt the large comforter lay over his body unexpectedly, but as soon as the warmth enveloped him, he felt sleep tug at his eyelids. “Thanks.” He slurred, snuggling up under the blanket.

Gerard gave a little giggle as he watched sleep overcome Frank, and he nodded shortly. “Of course.” He moved himself to get comfortable, facing Frank’s back and tracing over the curves of his body with his gaze, sighing contentedly. This was what he had wanted for so long – minus the wrist cuff of course – It was almost unbelievable that he was finally getting to share his bed with the man he had been in love with for so long. He felt more calm than he had in _years,_  his own drowsiness beginning to overwhelm him as he scratched absentmindedly at his jaw. “Goodnight, Frankie. Sleep well.” Gerard whispered, smiling when he got a tiny grunt in response from Frank. It wasn’t long before he was lulled to sleep by the sound of Frank’s deep breathing, and he had never felt so at peace before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seem to be going smoothly for the most part, until Frank decides to do something a little risky.

It was around nine thirty in the morning when Gerard woke up; the beam of sun that was pouring in from the crack between his curtains finally lining up directly with his eyes.  He cursed under his breath and flung his arm over his eyes to protect them from the sudden assault, opting to stay like that for just a moment longer instead of getting up and facing the day just yet. He felt so much more rested than he normally did, no longer feeling like he had slept on a bed of nails. Gerard couldn’t quite figure out exactly _why_ his body wasn’t as tired as it usually felt, until the memory of the night before slammed forward in his brain. At a speed that was normally reserved for someone who wasn’t just waking up from only a few hours of rest, Gerard removed his arm from his face and blinked his eyes open to look at the sleeping figure next to him.

The way that his heart sped up at the sight before him made Gerard feel a little dizzy, and he smiled blearily. Frank was facing away from him, his eyes safe from the attack of the sun shining through the window, which was nice for Gerard because it gave him time to observe him. “So beautiful.” He murmured, just thinking aloud as he indulged in his impulses a little and reached forward to card his fingers carefully through the longer, dark hairs on the boy’s head. The action caused Frank to stir just slightly in his sleep, a quiet groan slipping past his parted lips as he snuggled his face closer to the pillow. “You’re killing me, Frankie.” The elder chuckled on a whisper, shaking his head as he gently pushed himself up and slid off of the mattress.

The usual pain that he felt began to slowly edge its way into his body, making him realize that it was pointless to attempt to crawl back in bed and sleep again. Instead, Gerard decided that it would be best for him to take a quick shower to get himself ready to begin his day. He quietly made his way to Frank’s side of the bed – a smile spreading on his lips as he called it _Frank’s_ – and leaned down to press a delicate kiss to the boy’s forehead. It was something that Gerard had long to be able to do for _so long_ ; to give Frank tiny signs of affection whenever he pleased. It made his life seem a lot less fucked up than it really was.

After he made sure that he didn’t wake the boy up, Gerard padded over to the window and pulled the curtains shut completely. He didn’t want Frank to have to wake up in the same fashion that he had, knowing that Frank wouldn’t be as forgiving about it as _he_ had when the sun assaulted his corneas. When the man was certain that the sun wouldn’t filter through and blind the sleeping boy, Gerard began to pace softly towards his restroom, shutting the door with a quiet ‘ _click’_ after entering the room. Once he shed himself of his sweatpants, Gerard stepped into his large, stand-in shower; turning the water on to high heat until it felt like his skin was scalding. It helped him focus on the _real_ pain, rather than the pain in his head.

It was close to six minutes later that Frank finally began to emerge from his slumber. His eyes fluttering open, fighting the urge to close them again and just go back to sleep. The bed he was on felt quite a bit more comfortable than his own little mattress, it wasn’t as rough and there weren’t any springs stabbing into his back. It’s not that he wasn’t able to really afford a nice bed for himself, it’s just that he would rather spend his money on other things than a new mattress. After his eyes managed to stay open for more than a mere second, Frank was able to take in the details of wherever it was that he was at. It didn’t look familiar at all. Most likely because when he had seen it before, he had been too exhausted to pay attention to anything other than the bed.

As he lay there quietly, Frank was able to hear the hiss of a shower running, and he was about to start wondering who’s house he was at – because none of his friends, other than Ray of course, actually showered in the mornings – but when he attempted to move his feet, his left foot seemed to be caught on something. That’s when it all came flooding back to him. The running – or _falling_ – into Gerard the day before, and the whole _kidnapping_ deal. Fuck, that was the second time that had happened to Frank. The second time that he had forgotten that his life was actually that terrible, that he really _had_ been kidnapped and it wasn’t all some terrible nightmare.

Frank flung the blanket off of his feet so he could get a better look at the cuff that secured him to the bedpost. He ran his fingertip over the small lock that kept it in place, his fingers tugging at it desperately in a feeble attempt to pull it off of him, but it was, of course, a complete waste of Frank’s time. The boy flicked his gaze over to the bedside table that was on the older man’s side and sighed dejectedly. He had remembered Gerard putting the key in the top drawer, but it was much too far for him to even _try_ to reach. He didn’t want to embarrass himself. If only Gerard’s bed wasn’t so fucking _big_ , then maybe Frank’s short stature wouldn’t hinder him in his endeavor of getting the key. “Fuckin’ Gerard and his stupid _giant_ bed, and stupid _ankle cuffs_.” He grumbled to himself, crossing his arms in a childish fashion.

The morning was just getting worse and worse for Frank. An incident that proved that statement, was as he attempted to flop back against the mattress with an aggravated sigh, he miscalculated and flung himself off of the side of the bed with a loud thud. He drew out a low groan in pain as his ankle caught roughly in the cuff, resulting in a pulled muscle as he lied on his back with his foot still elevated onto the mattress. “Fuck, what is my damn problem?” Frank asked himself as he cringed when he tried to move his foot, pain beginning to throb from it.

Gerard had only finished rinsing out his hair a few seconds before he heard a muffled crash come from the other room. He turned the water off quickly and listened for a second to make sure that he wasn’t hearing things, his brow furrowing as he stood completely still. After only being able to hear the water dripping off of him into the shower floor, he heard a quiet groan of discomfort sound from his room. Hastily, Gerard stepped out of the shower, not bothering to dry off, but still wrapping a towel haphazardly around his waste for decency, and pulled open the door . He had prepared himself mentally to find Frank bleeding out on his floor, so when he just saw him trying to gather and hoist himself back onto the bed – blood still _inside_ of his body – Gerard exhaled a heavy sigh of relief.

“Shit, Frankie, are you okay?” The elder of the two questioned as he took quick strides to get to the boy.

Frank had avoided looking at Gerard until he was actually there beside him looking down at his pathetic attempt to get back up. It was actually really fucking hard for him to do with how one leg was raised up a few feet. Though when he actually looked at the man, ready to fix him with a glare, his mouth went dry. Goddamn. There was no way that Frank would have been able to keep himself from scraping his gaze heavily over Gerard’s body. He was only in a _towel_ for Christ’s sake, his entire upper body and most of his legs exposed and wet and actually fucking _steaming_. It was so fucking cliché that it gave Frank a metaphorical headache.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m okay.” Frank mumbled, only able to avert his gaze for one second before it darted right back to Gerard’s chest; then up to his concerned, hazel eyes.

Gerard held the towel up and shook his head, small droplets of water falling off his hair. “Do you want me to help you?” He asked, ready to reach down and lift the boy back onto the bed.

Frank looked down at himself, then back to Gerard. “I don’t _want_ you to help.” The boy griped, irritated and disappointed that he wasn’t able to do it on his own. He gave a dejected sigh and ran a hand over his face before staring at Gerard’s hipbones, and at the towel that seemed to be slowly slipping further and further down. “But… My leg is starting to go numb, and I haven’t been able to do it myself. So I guess I _need_ you to help.” Frank admitted, lying his head back against the floor. It was then that the boy realized that if he shifted his head just a few inches to the right, he would be able to see up the towel. Before he got a chance to even decide whether or not he _should_ , Gerard was already crouching down carefully – making sure to keep the towel positioned over his crotch – and lifting the other up with just one arm.

“Alright.” Gerard grunted as he helped Frank clamber back onto the mattress, still managing to keep his towel held onto his waist. He realized about halfway through picking him up, that he could have just unlocked the cuff and been done with it quicker. Gerard didn’t tell Frank this, though, not wanting Frank to get irritated. Besides, he was enjoying the extra contact.

“Shit.” Frank hissed as he was finally hoisted back onto the bed, his ankle throbbing again from when he had pulled it, and he quickly moved to grab at it uselessly.

Gerard furrowed his brow and moved closer, his own hand hovering over Frank’s. “Are you okay?” He found himself asking for the second time that morning.

Frank just nodded with a small grunt, his eyebrows pulled together in discomfort as he glanced up at the older man. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just pulled my ankle or some shit when I fell.” Frank responded, rubbing gently over his lower leg.

Gerard sighed softly; he felt absolutely terrible. It was _his_ fault that Frank had been constrained in the first place. “God, Frankie, I’m so sorry.” He murmured, fingers messing with the hem of his towel; he really needed to go put some pants on. “Let me go get the key really quick and let you out of there.”

“Okay.” Frank replied. He knew that it wasn’t Gerard’s fault that he had been an idiot and missed the bed completely when he tried to lay back down, resulting in him falling on his ass. But he was still angry that he was still being held captive, so he figured that Gerard deserved to feel a little bad.

Once Gerard finally pulled the key out of his drawer, he walked hastily back to Frank, being quick to unlock the cuff and pull it off. Frank’s skin looked like it had been rubbed a little raw from the cuff, and there was a hint of bruising that was just beginning to form from his injury. “Oh my.” He whispered, batting Frank’s hand away that was trying to rub at his ankle. He replaced it with his own, gentle touch. “I’m sorry Frank, I really didn’t know that the cuff was messing with you this bad.” He said quietly, his stomach twisting uncomfortably as Frank winced in pain.

Frank was trying to act as though it wasn’t a big deal. Not because he didn’t want Gerard to feel bad, but because he hated it when anyone else knew that he was in pain. It made him feel weak, and like the other person pitied him. Frank absolutely _despised_ it. “It’s whatever, I’ve had worse.” He shrugged. It wasn’t a lie.

Gerard shook his head and climbed carefully onto the bed, keeping the towel over him as he sat with his legs crisscrossed. “I don’t care if you’ve ‘had worse’, Frank. I don’t like it when you’re hurting _at all_.” He informed the other as he gently pulled the boy’s foot into his lap so he could inspect all of the damage. It really wasn’t all too bad, but Gerard still felt horrible that Frank was having to experience any sort of discomfort.

“Oh.” It was a little weird that to Frank that Gerard was taking so much time to look him over, and genuinely seemed to care about his pain. The older man’s cool hand’s felt surprisingly soothing against his irritated and slowly swelling skin as Frank watched as he inspected his tiny injury. “Maybe, um- Maybe I could use some ice on it.” Frank admitted as his way of asking Gerard to go get some for him. He didn’t want to have his ankle hurting more than it had to; not wanting to have to depend on Gerard for anything.

Gerard straightened up and gave a small smile to Frank as he nodded. “Yeah, I’ll go get you some really quick.” Gerard responded, about to move off of the bed but stopping for just a moment. Without giving any warning to Frank, Gerard leaned down quickly as he lifted the boy’s ankle up to his lips, and pressed a delicate kiss to his skin. He didn’t say anything else to Frank before slipping off of the mattress, still keeping the towel wrapped around him as he left the room.

If Gerard _had_ looked back at Frank before he left, he would’ve seen the shocked and flustered look upon the boy’s face. Frank had unexpectedly felt a strange surge of something unfamiliar rushing through him; his skin tingling where Gerard’s lips had touched him. He’d never had anyone be so gentle and caring towards him, not even his own mother. It’s not like she didn’t _care_ for him – Frank knew that she _did_ – it’s just that she never showed it in the form of affection. She showed it in the way that she would sometimes work two jobs whenever his dad wasn’t able to go to work because of his back issues, just to help support him. Or with the way that she always made sure that Frank was well fed before _she_ would get any food for herself. Sure, as a kid he never got that many hugs, or kisses on his injuries, but he knew that his mom loved him. He was just a little starved for affection, that must have been the only reason that Gerard was beginning to have a bizarre effect on him whenever he seemed to do anything that could be interpreted as affection.

Frank was interrupted from his thoughts when the man that was entangling his thoughts entered the room again, holding a small bag of ice wrapped in a cloth. It didn’t even occur to Frank that he could have attempted to escape while Gerard had left, and it was a little frightening to him that he was slowly becoming accustomed to being there. He needed to get out.

“Here you go, Darling.” The elder of the two murmured sweetly; resting the ice over the part where the bruise appeared to be darkest.

As if Frank couldn’t get anymore confused about his feelings on the situation he was in, the little pet name that slipped so naturally from Gerard’s lips only made it worse. It made his stomach do a gentle swoop, a strange warmth flooding through him as his cheeks tint a little darker than their usual shade. “Um, yeah…thanks.” He mumbled; scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

Gerard grinned down at Frank. He didn’t understand why he was acting strangely, but it didn’t seem to be _bad_ , so Gerard ignored it. “Of course. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask me, Frankie, I’ll always be here to help.”

Fuck, even the nickname that Frank didn’t allow _anyone_ to call him started to sound pleasant as it fell from Gerard’s tongue. He was going crazy, and he couldn’t blame it on his lack of sleep anymore since he had just woken up from the best night of sleep in his _life_. So, instead of embarrassing himself by saying something stupid, he just nodded to what Gerard had told him. It was so damn frustrating that Gerard was so nice to him. It just made it harder for Frank to hate him. He still managed to, of course. He still got filled with anger and discomfort when he thought about how Gerard had kidnapped him, and was keeping him there against his will.

Fuck, Frank needed to get out of there. Was anyone even _looking_ for him? Sure, there were times when Frank disappeared for a few days, but not without letting either Ray or Bob know where he was going. He wondered if they had asked each other where he had gone, and if they were worried at all. He knew that his mom wasn’t worried just yet. She tended to wait a few days before questioning his whereabouts, but he wished that it was different. Sure, it was normally nice to not have to worry about his mom breathing down his neck and demanding to know where he was at at all times, but that was before he had been kidnapped. Before he was trapped in a house deep in the woods with some strange, mentally unstable man. “Are you hungry?” Gerard’s voice broke through his thoughts suddenly.

Gerard was staring at him intently, hazel eyes all wide with interest as he waited for his answer. “Oh- um…” Frank faltered, having to gather himself. Now that he thought about it, he could feel a tightness in his stomach that indicated that he needed to eat something soon. The boy figured that he must have been too preoccupied with his situation to really notice until Gerard brought his attention to it. “Yeah, I’m a little hungry.” He admitted, looking at the older man and forcing himself to smile politely.

Gerard sighed and stood up straight again, he knew that Frank was faking the smile for him, but he did his best to push the strange feeling of sadness that was creeping up inside of him down. He just wished that Frank wouldn’t feel the need to fake any emotions around him. He wanted the boy to feel comfortable enough with Gerard to express himself honestly. It will happen. Soon Frank would realize that Gerard only cared about him, and just wanted what was best for him. “What would you like to eat?” Gerard finally acknowledged that Frank had answered his first question. “I can see if I have what you want.”

Frank watched absentmindedly as Gerard spoke to him, just barely paying attention to what he was saying. “I um…I don’t know” Frank mumbled. He wasn’t lying. The shorter of the two _really_ didn’t know what he wanted.

“Oh, well.” Gerard started, tilting his head and scratching the back of his neck as he thought about what he could offer. “What do you usually eat for breakfast?” He inquired, sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

Frank glanced back down at Gerard’s hand that was still gripping the towel and keeping it around his waist, and he briefly wondered when he was going to put on some pants, before trying to remember what he usually ate. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I normally just eat cereal or whatever. My mom’s usually not there by the time I wake up, and I don’t really know how to cook anything without it catching on fire.”

Gerard raised an eyebrow curiously. “Oh? Where does she go?” He knew that it was a personal question, but he was eager to learn everything he could about the younger boy.

Frank shrugged again, he didn’t really want to tell the other man anything about his life, but he also didn’t want to risk upsetting him. “She works two jobs right now. So she’s only home for a few hours at a time before she’s going back to work.” He hoped that Gerard would just leave it at that.

Gerard nodded, a hint of a frown tugging at his features. He honestly felt a little bad that Frank never really got to spend any time with his mother. He sat back and drummed his fingers against his thigh as the thought about what to say. It was obvious that it wasn’t that big of a deal to the younger boy, and he didn’t want Gerard to really say anything about it, but he still felt compelled to feel sympathy. “Oh, um, okay.” He replied, but didn’t say anything else on the subject. “Well, I can cook…I could make you something if you can think of something you’d want to eat.” He offered, smiling warmly at Frank.

Frank didn’t know what he had expected, though he was grateful that Gerard didn’t really go into his home situation. “Really?” He asked. He didn’t know if the other was really willing to cook something for him.

Gerard nodded again and grinned wider, his small teeth on display. “Yeah, of _course,_ Frankie. It’s really no trouble.” He left out the part where he had been wanting to cook for Frank for such a long time. That he wanted to care for Frank and do absolutely anything he could to make the boy happy. God, he just wanted to love him.

Frank found himself returning Gerard’s smile, and he mulled over a few things that he might like to eat for breakfast. “Do you think you could make french toast?” He remembered that his grandpa used to make french toast for him when he was a kid and would go over there some weekends to visit. It was something that he hadn’t had in _years_.

The hopefulness was evident on the younger one’s face when Gerard looked at him. The man bit down on his lip as he did a mental checklist of everything he would need to make the meal for Frank, and he nodded when he was certain that he would be able to. “Yeah, Frank. I can do that for you.” He grinned before asking. “Would you like me to go ahead and get started?”

Frank tipped his head forward as a way to tell Gerard ‘yes’, but he stopped the other before he was able to get up and leave the room. “But before you do that, maybe you should- um…put on something other than a towel?” Frank’s face was a little flushed in slight embarrassment in having to actually call attention to the fact that Gerard had been walking around with only a small towel hanging on his hips.

Gerard furrowed his brows, confused for a moment before looking down at himself and realizing that no, he hadn’t actually changed into real clothes. He had been too preoccupied with making sure that Frank was okay that he had completely forgotten about it. Besides, he never had to worry about wearing clothes as much before. That was due to the fact that he had lived alone, but now – Gerard happily remembered – Frank was there. So he had to be a little more mindful about walking around almost nude. “Oh.” He chuckled softly and glanced back at the boy. “It totally slipped my mind. I guess I’ll go get dressed properly and then we can go downstairs.”

Frank just shrugged, still not sure how to react around Gerard, and nodded. “Okay.” He confirmed as he watched Gerard stand up and head back to the bathroom. As the older man was gone, Frank sighed heavily; the action making him inhale the smell of the shirt he was wearing. It smelled heavily of Gerard, which made sense since it _was_ the other’s article of clothing, but Frank was extremely frustrated when it wasn’t unpleasant. He actually _liked_ the way that the fabric smelled, and it was _infuriating._ Frank wanted to hate it. He wanted to hate _everything_ about Gerard. The man was terrible. He was a kidnapper and not to mention that he had already _hit_ Frank during the time that he had been there.

Gerard came out of the restroom dressed in a simple black tee, with black jeans covering his lower half, and his eyes immediately made their way to the figure that was sitting on his bed. He noticed that he had a discontented look upon his face, and he tilted his head in slight concern. “Are you okay, Frank?” He questioned softly; padding over to the boy slowly.

Frank had his eyes closed, clenching his fists as he tried to calm the anger that was beginning to rise up inside of him. He wanted to snap at Gerard. He wanted to yell at him and tell him that no, he wasn’t okay. He was trapped somewhere that he didn’t want to be, and it was already driving him crazy. But Frank held his tongue. He knew that it wouldn’t give him the result that he wanted if he actually acted out how he felt. Instead, the boy exhaled slowly and looked back up at Gerard with a tired looking smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He lied.

Sitting down on the mattress again, Gerard rubbed his hand up and down Frank’s lower leg in an attempt to soothe him, but all it did was further the boy’s discomfort. “Frankie… _Really_ , what’s going on?”

Frank shook his head, resisting the urge to jerk his leg away from Gerard and looked down at the bed. “It’s- it’s nothing Gerard…I don’t really want to talk about it. I can deal with it.” He mumbled, hoping that Gerard would just drop it so he didn’t have to tell Gerard that he hated him. Frank didn’t want to see how that would turn out.  

Gerard’s warm eyes were filled with concern as he ducked his head to catch Frank’s gaze, smiling gently as he finally looked up at him. “It’s okay.” His fingers gave a light squeeze a few inches below the younger one’s knee. “Just- If you change your mind, I’m always here for you to talk to.” He promised wholeheartedly. There would _never_ be a time where Gerard wouldn’t be there for Frank.

“Thanks.” Was all he said. God, Gerard seemed to care so _much_ ; was making Frank _sick_. He didn’t feel like saying anything more to Gerard on the subject, so he started talking about something else instead. “Are we going to go downstairs now? I’m getting pretty hungry.”

Gerard straightened up as he remembered that he was going to get to cook for Frank. “Yeah, yeah. Do you need help standing up or anything?” The elder inquired, glancing down to the other’s injured ankle.

Frank groaned inwardly as he remembered that he was going to have to depend on the man that he hated most, to help him fucking _walk_. “Yeah…I guess I do.” He huffed out as he slumped back against the headboard.

Of course, Gerard was feeling a lot different than Frank was on the situation. He was pleased with the chance to help Frank around. It just allowed him to be closer to the other for a more prolonged period of time. “Alright, hang on.” Gerard spoke softly as he leaned over Frank to help him slide to the edge of the bed, before wrapping his arm around his waist and pulling him up to stand. When Frank wobbled slightly, Gerard instinctually tightened his grip around him, and stood still for a moment to make sure that Frank was steady enough to continue. “You got it?” He asked softly

Frank glanced up at Gerard; slightly embarrassed that he wasn’t able to do this on his own. “Yeah...I think so.” He confirmed

Gerard gave a quiet hum and slowly began to help Frank walk towards his bedroom door, but he stopped abruptly when he heard a feeble whimper come from the boy. The sound made it feel like his body was shocking him with jolts of pain. “Are you sure you’re okay, Frank?”

Frank must have hurt his ankle a lot worse than he had originally thought, because it hurt to stand on it even for a second. He tilted his head to face Gerard again, and gave a short nod. “Yeah, Gerard. I said I was fine.” He mumbled, ignoring how much he wanted to lie back down in bed and just give up on walking for a little bit.

Gerard’s brows pulled together and he shook his head. “Frank, If your ankle hurts that bad, I can just carry you.” He offered with a sympathetic smile pulling at his lips.

Frank shook his head. He would _much_ rather endure the pain than have Gerard _carry_ him. “Thanks, but I’ll be okay.” He said simply, and fixed his eyes on the floor.

Gerard wished that Frank wasn’t so stubborn. It would just be so much easier for Gerard to pick him up and carry him, rather than Frank continue to walk on his ankle and hurt himself further. Exhaling noisily, the older man decided that he was going to do what Frank wanted to do. “Just let me know if you change your mind.” He murmured before he started walking again; his arm sill wrapped around the other’s waist for support.

It took them a total of five minutes to get downstairs into the large kitchen area, Gerard having pain shoot through him each time that Frank made a pained noise as they walked. The stairs were the worst part for both of them. They managed not to stumble too much, but it was hell on the boy’s injury, which in turn made Gerard hurt as well. The man was extremely empathetic when it came to Frank, and he hated it. It only caused him to hurt more than he already did on a daily basis. But part of him felt as though it made him more connected with the other. Part of him was glad that he experienced pain whenever Frank did because then at least Frank wasn’t suffering alone. Not like Gerard did.

After situating Frank onto a stool at the bar in his kitchen, Gerard exhaled a soft sigh. “Are you comfortable enough?” He asked as he looked over Frank.

Frank shifted himself slightly and nodded in confirmation. “I guess so.” He shrugged.

Apparently, that was a good enough answer for Gerard, because he just gave a small smile and walked over to his cupboards. Frank watched with mild interest as Gerard started to gather all of the things that he would be needing to make breakfast, his face propped up in his hand. He wondered if Gerard was actually good at cooking, or if he would be terrible and Frank was going to have to pretend to enjoy it so that way it wouldn’t upset Gerard and make him lash out in any way.

Gerard excitedly brought out all of the ingredients and laid them out on the countertop. It had been awhile since he had felt that way. Usually when he was cooking for only himself, he didn’t really take the time to make sure that the food tasted as good as he was able to make it. All he cared about was fueling his body so he could make it to the next day. He just thought it was pointless since he was constantly miserable, and the food would only give him a false since of comfort. He didn’t want to depend on food for that. He needed to stay lean and agile if he wanted to continue what he did; _killing_ people, that is. So now that he was finally cooking for someone else, it was exciting for him to be able to really _try_ and to have a decent tasting meal for once.

He was pretty good at cooking, from what he remembered. So hopefully he would be able to please Frank with the food. Frank’s eyes followed Gerard the whole time that he began to prepare everything. It really reminded him of when he was a child, and he would sit at the table while he watched his grandfather bustle around the kitchen making the same thing that Gerard was. He remembered the one time that he had been allowed to help. Frank must have done something wrong, because it ended up tasting absolutely dreadful. Yet, his grandfather ended up eating all of it as if it were the best tasting thing he had ever eaten. Frank realized now that he was just sparing his feelings.

It felt nice to just sit there and let the familiar smell flood his nose, a nostalgic sense washing over him as he smiled at Gerard once he looked over at him. The older man smiled back widely, his heart fluttering pleasantly as he turned back to continue cooking. It wasn’t too much longer before Gerard finished, and he began to fix each of their plates. Once Gerard had finished doing that, he turned back to Frank and sat his plate down in front of the boy. “I hope you like it.” Gerard said earnestly and sat his own plate in front of the seat next to Frank.

Frank’s mouth flooded with saliva as soon as he looked down at the food. It looked pretty good, and _smelled_ good too, but that didn’t necessarily mean that it would taste good. He could feel his stomach growling quietly and he realized that it would probably be best for him to eat it even if he _didn’t_ like it. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to make it without eating. “Thank you.” He said politely, watching as Gerard pulled out a stool to sit next to him. After preparing himself mentally, Frank finally brought a bite of the french toast to his mouth, and he placed it on his tongue. “Oh god.” Frank groaned pleasurably as soon as the flavor of it exploded over his taste buds. It was fucking _amazing_. It had been so long since he had tasted something that great, and the boy eagerly began to shovel more into his mouth as soon as he swallowed the first bite.

Gerard had been watching intently as Frank first tried his food, a smile splitting over his face at the other’s reaction. “Is it good?” He asked as he took a bite of his own.

Frank waited until his mouth wasn’t full of food before looking at Gerard. “Yeah, it’s actually _amazing_.” He smiled, scratching at his neck a little shyly. For just that moment, Frank forgot that he was supposed to hate Gerard’s guts.

Gerard’s own smile widened. “What do you mean it’s _actually_ amazing?” He laughed softly. “You say that like you’re surprised.”

Frank rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, you knew what I meant.” He giggled playfully and took another bite of his food.

Gerard shook his head and ruffled Frank’s hair. He knew that Frank had meant that as a jestful remark, so he didn’t feel irritated by it at all. In fact, he had always wanted the boy to joke around with him like that. For him to always be comfortable enough with him to just be how he was with his other friends. “Whatever, just eat your food, dork.” Gerard laughed, smiling warmly at the boy.

Frank felt a strange warmth spread through him as he looked down at Gerard’s smile. His stomach fluttered gently as he averted his eyes from the older man’s as he suddenly felt shy. Frank had to keep reminding himself that Gerard was his enemy. That he was the one that kidnapped him, and hurt him. It was just so hard to do for him though, since Gerard was so kind, and it was starting to become easy to joke around with him. After a moment of thinking, Frank realized that he should just focus on enjoying his food instead. After all, it _was_ fucking delicious, and he never really got to eat homemade breakfast.

Frank dipped down his fork and picked up another bite before placing it in his mouth. He moaned softly around the mouthful and fluttered his eyes closed. “Fuck.” He groaned quietly at the taste.

Gerard almost choked at the barely audible sound; the noise stirring something in his stomach. Why did Frank have to tease him like that? Gerard knew that the boy wasn’t doing it on purpose, but he just wished that he would be more conscious of the fact that he was affecting Gerard so profoundly. He cleared his throat after a moment and began to eat his food again to distract himself from the urge he had to pull Frank into his lap and kiss him.

Frank felt as though he had been blessed to be able to have such a lovely breakfast, even though the circumstances of where he was and who had cooked it for him weren’t exactly ideal. It didn’t take both of them that much longer before they had finished their food, and Gerard was reaching for the boy’s plate. “What are you doing?” Frank asked as he pulled his plate out of Gerard’s reach.

Gerard pulled his brows together with a hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he reached for Frank’s dish again. “I’m just going to go take our dishes to the sink, Frankie.” He explained, breathing a small giggle when Frank pulled it away again.

 “No, Gerard, I can take care of this. It’s the least I can do since you cooked for me.” Frank argued, snatching Gerard’s own plate from him as he picked up his own and began to push himself off of the stool. He hissed as he felt his ankle twinge in pain, but continued to make his way to the sink with the dishes.

“Are you okay?” Gerard asked as Frank walked with a limp, but at least he seemed to be walking better than he had been.

Frank hummed, nodding shortly as he started the water to clean his plate of the syrup. As he glanced down into the sink, a glint of silver caught his gaze and he moved the plate out of the way. Frank’s breathing hitched when he realized it was a knife. Sure, it was only a butter knife; the one that Gerard had just used, but it was still a blade. It was still something that Frank could use to defend himself against the older man. Sure, things had been going smoothly with his captor, but the boy had no idea if that was going to change. He was becoming too comfortable with being there, falling too easily for the charm that Gerard seemed to be working on him. It was too dangerous. Frank couldn’t risk being there anymore.

Frank jumped and blinked rapidly as he suddenly heard movement coming from behind him. He breathed a shaky sigh when he turned around to see that Gerard was just cleaning up by the stove, his eyes darting back to the knife in the sink. Making a quick decision, Frank reached down into the sink and pulled the knife out; hiding it behind his back as he turned to face the older man again. “Hey, um, Gerard?” Frank asked quietly to get his attention.

Gerard looked up from where he was wiping the counter at the sound of his name; his eyes finding their way to Frank’s face. “Yeah? Do you need something Frankie?” He asked sweetly as he watched the other step closer to him.

“N-no, um- I don’t need anything…” Frank’s speech began to stutter as he became more nervous about what he was going to do. “I just wanted to thank you…You know, for cooking for me and everything.” He murmured as he stepped closer and closer to Gerard.

A pleasant smile spread on Gerard’s face as he looked down at him. He felt so pleased that Frank had enjoyed his food, and he felt so delighted that Frank seemed to be happy. “Oh, Yeah.” Gerard beamed. “It was no problem, Frank, I—“ Gerard was cut off when the boy wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He gasped quietly; his heart beating faster in his chest as his stomach fluttered wildly. His whole body felt so euphoric just from the contact, and he wanted to stay like that forever. Just as he was about to return the embrace, he felt a sharp pain in his side. Gerard yelped and pushed Frank back harshly, looking down at where the pain was coming from. God, did Frank really try to stab him with a _butter knife_? Well, he sort of succeeded, as the utensil was now stuck a few inches into his body. “What the fuck?!” Gerard shouted through his gritted teeth.

Frank managed to keep himself steady as he was pushed away, and he didn’t waste any time before he turned around and sprinted out of the kitchen. His limp was hindering his speed as he stumbled down the long hallway, desperately scrabbling at each doorknob he passed in search of one that was unlocked. Frank knew that he had a limited time to get away before Gerard would be able to catch up to him, and the longer the boy thought about it, the more he realized that there wasn’t any hope. Each door that he tried was locked, and there was no way that he was going to actually make it out of there. Frank was on the verge of giving up, when one of the doors that he tried actually opened. Frank quickly burst into the room, and quickly noticed that it was a garage. He hurriedly tried to pull the garage door up, but much to his dismay, it was kept closed by a couple of padlocks.

Gerard had yanked the knife out of his side after the shock of it went away; blood spurting from the injury for a few seconds before slowing down to a trickle. It had only gone about an inch or two so he knew that it wasn’t really a fatal wound. That didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. It hurt like a _bitch._ What made it hurt worse for Gerard, was the fact that _Frank_ is the one that did it to him. Frank. Gerard realized that he wasn’t there anymore. He must have run away. Gerard whimpered pathetically, both from the pain and from the grief that Frank had actually stabbed him.

Gerard remembered that it would be best for him if he went after Frank, so he pushed himself to walk at a brisk pace out of the kitchen. He wasn’t worried about Frank getting out. He knew that all of the doors that lead outside were locked, and most of the doors _inside_ were locked as well. He heard a door slam at the end of one of the large hallways, and he began to make his way towards the sound. He pressed his hand over his wound as he felt it twinge with pain over and over again, his fingers soaking themselves with his own blood. Gerard was becoming furious at Frank the closer he got to where he thought he was. How dare he do something like that to Gerard. All Gerard ever did for the boy was love him, and show him kindness. It wasn’t right for Frank to react like that.

The more Gerard thought about it, the more his veins began to pump with a venomous rage that had him clenching and unclenching his jaw; his fingernails digging harshly into his own wound. He finally reached the garage door, and he pushed it open angrily.

Frank jumped violently when the door to the garage slammed open, his eyes darting to the looming figure in the doorway. “P-please, Gerard.” Frank began to beg, quickly shuffling to press himself against the wall. “Please don’t- don’t hurt me.”

Gerard narrowed his eyes and began to stalk forwards, bringing himself closer to the terrified boy. “Don’t hurt you?” He asked incredulously. “Why shouldn’t I? Don’t you see that _you_ hurt _me_?” The older man sneered

Frank’s eyes darted down to Gerard’s side, he could see his shirt was soaked and dripping with blood, and he cringed inwardly. “I’m so sorry Gerard.” Frank whimpered desperately as the man got closer to him. “I-I- I’m so fucking sorry, just _please_.”

Gerard snarled at the boy, he looked absolutely petrifying. Frank didn’t like this side of Gerard, he liked the other side. The side that was only kind and gentle towards him. Fuck, why did he have to stab him? Things had been going so great, and he just ruined it. “I know you’re only sorry because you got caught, Frank.” Gerard didn’t give Frank any time to protest before he swung his closed fist at his face.

Frank yelped and crumbled to the floor from the pain. Gerard was so fucking strong, his hits felt like someone was slamming a brick against his jaw. He felt too weak to stop Gerard as he suddenly dropped down on top of him and straddled him; keeping him pinned to the floor.

“Why!?” Gerard screamed down at him, eyes looking wild and utterly _feral_. He hit Frank again, the boy’s head snapping to the side with the force of it. “Why did you stab me!?” The older man tightened his grip harshly on Frank’s wrists and growled at him. “I have been _nothing_ but kind to you. All I do is _care_ for you! And this is how you repay me!?”

Frank only flinches back, his face beginning to throb with the pain. He was sure that there would be some impressive bruising as a result of what Gerard did. He was too scared to even speak to Gerard. He felt too frail and weak to try to push the man off of him. So all he could do was wait out Gerard’s burst of rage as he got yelled at. Gerard glared down at Frank and began to tug on his hand, bringing it down to his side. “Do you see?” He asked as he made Frank’s fingers prod at his wound, hissing in a breath between his teeth at the stinging pain. “Do you see what you did to me?”

Frank’s eyes widened as he felt the sticky warmth of Gerard’s blood on his fingers. “It hurts.” He heard Gerard whisper. It felt so gross, Gerard was forcing his fingers to dig inside of the stab wound. He could feel Gerard’s torn flesh against the pads of his fingers. It was warm and slick with blood, and Frank was beginning to feel nausea creep up inside of him.

“Oh fuck.” Frank groaned in disgust. He closed his eyes tightly and breathed harshly through his nose as he attempted to calm his churning stomach. He tried to pull his hand back but Gerard’s grip on him was too tight. God it was absolutely repulsive.

Gerard finally released Frank’s hand, allowing him to pull away. It caused him quite a bit of pain to make Frank prod at his injury, his breathing had become shallow and his lip was swollen from him biting down on it. He cleared his throat after a moment of watching Frank wipe the blood from his fingers onto his shirt, and he began to press his own fingers against the gash. He let them get covered completely before bringing them to the boy’s face. “You purposely hurt me, Frank.” Gerard stated, and began to smear the crimson liquid over the other’s horrified face. “This must be what you wanted…”

Frank flicked his head back and forth as he tried to get Gerard’s hand off of him. “What are you doing!?” He squeaked, spitting out when some of the older man’s blood got on his lips. He tried to grab at Gerard’s hand’s to pull them away, but it only resulted in him getting his wrists pinned down over his head; Gerard doing so with only one of his hands as he continued to use the other to smear blood over him.

“You stabbed me Frank, and you did it with no remorse.” Gerard failed to mention that he did that to plenty of people, but it was different when Frank did it. Gerard cared for Frank. He loved him. Gerard’s victims had no feelings for him, except for hatred. “So keep my blood on your face as a reminder of what you did to me.”

Frank gagged as the overwhelming metallic smell flooded his nose. He could feel bile rising in his throat but he managed to swallow it back down with a shudder. Much to his surprise, Gerard finally seemed to be pulling off of him after a few more seconds of covering him in his blood. He almost felt relieved, but it was short lived as he felt Gerard’s fingers tangle in his hair, and pull him up. He yelped again as his eyes stung with tears from the pain. He scrabbled desperately at the older man’s hands in an attempt to pull them off of his hair. His scalp was already beginning to throb, his eyes closing in pain as he felt too weak to hold himself up properly. So Gerard was the only thing that was keeping him upright. “P-please…” He whimpered pathetically.

Gerard pointedly ignored Frank’s pleas, only tightening his grip and tugging harshly in response. He began to pull him out of the garage, seething with rage as he began to bite down roughly on his lower lip. He glanced down at his leaking wound, grimacing as the blood continued to soak his shirt and make it stick to his skin uncomfortably. He needed to patch it up soon. He was already starting to feel woozy from how much blood had already poured from his body.

“Fuck.” Frank hissed in pain as he stumbled along with Gerard, the pain growing in his scalp and giving him a headache. “Where are you taking me?” He asked as he tried to stay on his feet.

Gerard growled lowly in his throat as he looked down at Frank; indicating that it would be best if he kept quiet. He was going to take Frank down to his basement, well, _part_ of his basement. He had divided his basement into two parts. There were no doors connecting the two halves, so the only way to get to either of them was to go down two completely separate staircases at opposite ends of the large house. He kept one part of the basement as a place for storage, as most people do. While the other part – Gerard’s favorite part – was converted into his own little torture chamber. It was where he always took his victims after kidnapping them, before he finally killed them. He wasn’t taking Frank to that side. He would never take Frank down there. He was going to take him down to the ‘normal’ side.

Frank ignored Gerard’s growl and began to grip at the hem of the man’s shirt desperately. “Please, Gerard. What are you going to do to me?” He asked frantically. He was absolutely terrified. He didn’t know what Gerard was going to do to him. He already knew that he was capable of hurting him, the bruising on his face an example of that, but how far was the man going to take it? Oh god, this was it, wasn’t it? Gerard was really going to kill him. He was really going to do it.

Gerard sighed sharply, glaring at Frank as he pulled him down the hall, his fingers still tangled in the boy’s hair. He looked over his blood that was still smeared over his skin, and absolutely loathed the fear that was evident on the other’s face. No matter how furious he was, he still wanted Frank to like him. He completely hated hurting Frank. It felt as though he were hurting _himself_ whenever he did it. A thrashing pain resonating inside of his body along with the pain that was already there from his wound. All he wanted to do was show the boy love and affection, but it was so hard to do when Frank acted like that. Frank needed to know that actions like that could not go unpunished. “I’m taking you down to the basement.” He finally responded; words clipped and angry as he looked away from Frank again.

Frank felt his throat tighten and his heart speed up. He didn’t want to go down to the basement. He utterly despised basements. Not to mention that he had no clue what was down there, or what Gerard was going to do to him once they got there. “N-no, please don’t—“

“I’m going to do whatever the hell I want, Frank.” Gerard interrupted rudely, and slowed to a stop in front of one of the many doors in the hallway.

Frank’s eyes were shimmering with tears from the stinging pain, and he was no longer able to hold himself up as they came to a stop. He crumpled to the floor, wincing as it made Gerard pull his hair even more. He clung to the older man’s legs for some form of support so he wouldn’t end up lying on the floor, even though he was currently terrified of Gerard. “I’m so sorry…” He whispered again, looking up at Gerard with his best pleading eyes. He was hoping that he would be able to change his mind. Gerard seemed to have a soft spot for him, at least, Frank was pretty sure that he did, and he was trying to take advantage of that. “Please don’t take me down there…I fucking hate basements.” He begged as he tugged on Gerard’s pant leg.

Even though Gerard wanted to ask the boy why he appeared to hate basements so much, he decided against it. He couldn’t let Frank know that he actually cared. Because he _did_ care. He cared _too_ much. “It doesn’t matter.” He lied; beginning to dig in his pocket with his free hand for the keys.

Frank watched with a miserable expression as Gerard began to unlock the door. It looked as though Gerard wasn’t going to change his mind. After pulling the collar of his shirt up to wipe the blood from his face, he began to speak again. “What are you going to do to me down there?” He questioned, voice wavering as the door was pushed open to expose a set of old wooden stairs that seemed to lead into a black abyss.

Gerard pulled his lip between his teeth as he heard how frightened Frank was. “I’m not going to do anything to you, Frank.” He assured the boy, finally releasing his harsh grip on his hair and beginning to card his fingers through it gently instead. “I couldn’t ever hurt you too much.” He admitted. He already felt tremendously terrible for even _hitting_ him, even though it was in retaliation of being stabbed.

Frank subconsciously leaned into the sudden gentle touch, his body craving anything that didn’t hurt him. He furrowed his brow in confusion. “Then why are you taking me down there?” He asked quietly, not wanting to speak too loudly in fear that it would trigger Gerard to get violent again.

Gerard sighed, wincing as it made his injury sting when he breathed too heavily. “I’m just going to take you down there, Frank, and I’m going to make you stay down there until I think it’s been long enough.” He answered, and began to help Frank up to his feet.

“W-what?” Frank squeaked, gripping tightly at Gerard’s shirt as he stood up. “I-I-...What do you mean ‘until you think it’s been long enough’?” He asked as he darted his gaze down the eerie looking staircase.

Gerard frowned and began to guide the boy towards the entrance, keeping him in front of him as he walked. “I’m going to keep you down here until I think you’ve learned your lesson from stabbing me.” He explained. “I don’t know exactly how long it’s going to be, so it’s pointless to ask.”

Frank pushed back against Gerard as he was brought to the top step. “Please, _please_ , Gerard. Please don’t do this.” He begged, turning around and burying his face in Gerard’s chest as he tried to stay on the top stair, wincing when he pressed against the bruises on his jaw an cheek. “Fuck, Gerard, I don’t want to stay down there.” He whimpered, pulling back to look up at Gerard.

Gerard breathed in shakily as he felt Frank press up against him again, his heart hammering against his chest as he looked down at the boy. “I’m sorry Frank.” He felt his heart constrict when he saw the tears forming in his eyes. God, what must have happened to him for him to be so deathly terrified of being in a basement? Gently, he stroked his thumb over the bruises on the boy’s face, and sighed. He was starting to feel all of his anger and resentment melt away, but he couldn’t let his resolve crumble so easily. He had to teach Frank to behave. “But you have to do this.” He stated, and turned Frank around to begin urging him down the stairs.

Frank wanted to close his eyes against the darkness of the room. He wanted to shield himself from it, but he couldn’t. He had to keep them open to be able to walk down the stairs. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard an unexpected ‘ _click´_ from behind him and a dim light bulb lit up a small portion of the room. The room was a lot less ominous with it being somewhat lit up, but he still wanted to leave. He could feel Gerard’s cool hand on the small of his back as he stepped down each stair, and he knew it would be fruitless for him to attempt to run back up the stairs. He glanced down when he heard an unsettling creek when he stepped down again, and he froze.

“It’s okay…” Gerard whispered, keeping his voice lowered as to not startle the young man since he seemed so jumpy. “These stairs are sturdy, they just make a few noises here and there.” He explained, and nudged Frank forwards again.

Frank nodded and exhaled slowly, trying his best to keep going forwards. He felt so much relief flood through his system when he reached the solid concrete floor, but it was washed away as soon as he remembered _why_ he was down there. When he heard Gerard step onto the floor behind him, he quickly turned back to face him. “Please don’t make me stay down here. I’ll do anything Gerard.” He offered. He really didn’t want Gerard to take up on his offer, but fuck, he really didn’t want to stay in the basement either.

The thoughts of all the dirty things he wanted to do with Frank flashed briefly across Gerard’s mind, but that’s not how he wanted any of those things to happen. He wanted Frank to actually _want_ it, not just do it because he didn’t want to stay in his basement. Gerard put both of his hands on either side of Frank’s face; making sure to be careful of the bruises, but Frank still flinched. He brought him close to his face, and looked down into his tearful eyes. “Don’t offer something like that unless you mean it.” He said softly. “It’s demeaning to yourself, and I don’t like that.”

Frank’s eyes widened as he was brought closer to Gerard. He had been afraid that Gerard was going to try to kiss him, but he was a little surprised by what he said. Why did Gerard care so much about Frank’s self image? “I-I’m sorry…” He murmured, looking away from the older man’s intense gaze.

Gerard tilted Frank’s head down and pressed a feather light kiss to the boy’s forehead, making Frank gasp quietly as his face flushed, before he began to guide him to the wall opposite of the staircase. “I’m going to need to you sit down right here, okay?” He instructed, nodding at where there was a sturdy pipe going down into the ground that connected to the ceiling.

Frank shook his head, knowing what Gerard was going to do. He didn’t want to be cuffed to the pipe. He wanted to be able to at least walk around, or _something_. “Please.” He found himself saying again, but he was willing to say it as many times as possible if it meant that Gerard wouldn’t make him stay down there.

Gerard narrowed his eyes and snapped his fingers as he pointed down at the ground. “Sit.” He commanded.

Frank went silent immediately and slid down the wall to rest against the floor. He really didn’t want to make him angry again. “Sorry.” He apologized again, wrapping his arms around his knees and staring down at the dirty ground. He felt so much smaller all of a sudden, the cold room of the basement seeming so much more vast and empty.

Gerard made a pleased noise when Frank complied, and Frank wanted to make him do it again. There was something strangely satisfying for the boy to know that Gerard approved of something he did. “It’s okay.” The older man said as he began to walk over to a table on the other side of the room. He trusted that Frank would stay put.

Frank shut his eyes and buried his face in his arms as he waited for Gerard to return. He could hear the faint rattling of the chain on the handcuffs echoing in the room. The only other sound that could be heard was the scuff of Gerard’s feet on the cement as he walked back over to Frank; the sound of his steps far apart due to his long stride. He looked up as it got louder, his frown deepening as he saw the glint of the metal in the dim light. He realized that there was no use anymore. He knew that he was going to have to stay down there. “Gerard?” He asked softly; his gaze flitting up to the man’s face. In the low light, it made his features appear more menacing. His pale skin almost enveloped in shadows as the light bulb hung behind him. It seemed fitting – Frank thought briefly – the way that he almost appeared vampiric in that moment. Frank was certain that in another life, Gerard had to have been one of those blood sucking creatures.

Gerard quirked his eyebrow up as he looked down at the boy. He seemed so helpless; so vulnerable in that moment. It made Gerard feel a little sick that he found himself enjoying it slightly. The image stirring something inside of him. He did his best to ignore those thoughts and crouched down in front of the other, hissing slightly as it made his injury twinge. “Yeah?” He responded, taking the boy’s wrist and latching one end of the handcuffs to it.

Frank felt disheartened as the man cuffed the other end to the pipe, and he tugged at it just as a reflex. “Do you think…” Frank started slowly; nibbling on his lower lip shyly. He already knew what the answer was going to be to his question, but he was going to risk asking it anyways. “Could you stay down here with me for just a little bit longer?”

Gerard hadn’t been expecting the boy to ask him that, so he took a moment to respond. “Frank…” He sighed. Fuck. He felt so damn terrible. All he ever wanted was for Frank to want to be around him, but of course he was going to have to deny his request. It made his stomach churn painfully as he looked at Frank’s saddened face. “This is a punishment. I can’t stay down here with you or else you wouldn’t really be getting punished, and you won’t fully learn your lesson.” He explained solemnly as he ran a finger along the other’s jaw.

Frank felt his stomach sink with disappointment. Even though he had expected that answer, it didn’t make him hate it any less. “Gerard.” He said tearfully, reaching his free hand to grasp at the collar of the other’s shirt. “I can’t fucking stay down here. I cant do it. I can’t—“ He choked out a sob and tried to pull Gerard closer to him.

Gerard’s entire body _burned_ as he fought against the urge to give in. He felt like his insides were digesting themselves and getting shredded. He could feel his finger’s twitching again as he pried Frank’s hand away. “F-frank.” He stammered, wanting so desperately to wipe the tears off of the other’s cheeks. “Fuck.” He spat out on a harsh breath, he felt so weak, so unstable. The only way he was going to be able to do this, was if he acted cold and calloused toward Frank. He knew it would only hurt himself more, but he had to act as though Frank wasn’t affecting him as much as he was. “I don’t care if you think you can’t do it.” He said eventually as he finally pushed himself to stand up. “You’re going to.”

Frank shook his head and reached for Gerard’s legs, but he had stepped away too quickly. “ _Please!”_ He shouted; now allowing the tears to fall freely as he begged Gerard to stay. “Why Gerard? Why are you keeping me here?!” His voice cracked with desperateness as he pleaded for an answer.

Gerard sighed and shook his head. “I already told you, Frank—“

“No.” Frank shook his head, this time being the one to interrupt _._ “Why are you keeping me in this _house?_ Why won’t you let me go _home_!?” He cried out as Gerard began to make his way back up the stairs.

Gerard was certain that he felt his entire heart shatter in that one moment. He wanted to make this place home for Frank. He wanted him to be comfortable staying there. “Because.” Gerard said quietly, his voice sounding thick and wrecked as if _he_ were the one that had been crying. He pointedly made sure to not look at Frank again as he walked up the steps. When he reached the door, he finally turned for a brief moment to look at the boy that was trapped down in his basement. “I love you too much to let you leave me.” He admitted; leaving the room quickly, and shutting the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is forced to relive a memory from when he was much younger, but he also remembers something else...something a lot more recent.

Gerard slumped against the basement door as a scream suddenly broke through the deafening silence. It was Frank, and he was calling his name.

Frank had only been quiet for a few moments after Gerard had left. He was admittedly a little stunned by what the man had just confessed to him. Sure, Frank had assumed that Gerard had some form of attraction towards him, but he didn’t know that he had _loved_ him. There was no way that he loved him, was there? He had only just met him the other day. The boy was brought out of his thoughts when he noticed the light bulb flickering. Please no. No, no, no. Frank whimpered softly and drew up into himself as he stared at it; begging silently for it to stay on. He didn’t think he would be able to handle it if it were completely pitch black in the basement.

Frank cursed the universe or whatever higher being there was, when the light blew, and he was suddenly descended into darkness. Fuck. Oh god, Frank could feel his heart begin to hammer in his chest and his breathing quicken. He couldn’t be down there. He couldn’t fucking do it. “Gerard!” He yelled, voice cracking slightly.

It took all of Gerard’s strength to not open the door and check on him when he heard it. He knew that he was okay. There was nothing down there for him to really get hurt on, and besides, he was chained up. He couldn’t get into anything that would cause him harm. That knowledge wasn’t enough to sooth him though. It didn’t calm him down at all. The absolute dismal sound of the boy’s scream made him feel nauseous. His legs began to feel weak as he heard Frank scream again, his nails digging into the wood of the door as he grew more drained. It was an intense, fiery pain that twisted and coiled around his lungs and heart, making him fall to the floor.

Frank began to sob loudly; hot tears falling down his face as he closed his eyes tightly. He couldn’t stand being trapped down there. Especially since it was now completely dark. When he opened his eyes and stared around the black void that encircled him, Frank was transported back to when he was younger. Back to when he was trapped in his own basement.

 Frank was young when it happened. He must have been around four or five at the time. No one else had been home. His mother was at work, and his father was off doing only god knows what. So it was only him. Only him and his young mind.

He remembered his mother always warning him to stay out of the basement. She was always saying things like: “Now, now, Frank. I can’t have you going down there. The stairs are much too fragile and I’m worried that they might break if you try to go down them.” That was why she always kept the door locked, and left the key on top of the fridge where the young boy wouldn’t be able to reach it. Or so she had thought.

Frank was very adapt at climbing things at a young age. So it wasn’t hard for him to pull up a chair so he could climb onto the countertop, before stretching his arms up as far as they could go to pat around for the key. Once his small fingers felt the cool, small, metal shape, he grabbed it and carefully grappled down back to the floor. Frank couldn’t remember _why_ he had wanted to go down to the lower level so badly. Maybe it had been because he hated being told that he couldn’t do something, so he did it out of rebellious spirit. If only Frank had actually listened for once.

Young Frank had bounded gleefully to the forbidden door and unlocked it after a few clumsy tries; his little fingers working quickly to pull it open with enthusiasm. The boy looked down the dark stairs with excitement. He was curious to see what all could be down there. He bet that it was where his parents must have hidden all of Frank’s confiscated toys. Though, what he didn’t know, was that they were actually in a box on a high shelf in his mother’s closet. That knowledge still wouldn’t have stopped him from going down there of course. He was too determined.

As he stepped forward, he closed the door behind him, making the room become enveloped in a shroud of darkness. It didn’t scare Frank, he wasn’t scared of anything. There was only a small amount of light that had managed to filter in through the tiny windows at the top of the room, and he made sure to stay at the top of the stairs while his eyes adjusted; before he stepped down slowly. He only made it five more steps before there was a creak that was much more concerning than the others had been, and he didn’t have much time to react before the frail wooden steps collapsed under his weight. The wooden structure crashed down to the floor along with the young boy; the impact of the concrete flooring causing one of the bones in Frank’s legs to fracture, and he let out a pained cry.

When he pushed himself to lean up, he grasped at his leg as he felt it twinge in pain and a small whimper slipped passed his lips. It hurt too much to move it, but he knew that he needed to get up. He wanted to get out of the basement since he was now in too much pain to go ‘exploring’ anymore. Besides, he knew that he sun was going down, so there wouldn’t be any light for him to see in a short period of time. It’s not that the boy was scared of the dark, it’s just that Frank preferred to be able to see his surroundings, and he was also starting to get hungry again. Even though he had just eaten an hour ago.

Frank looked around at the damaged staircase, well, a more accurate word to describe it would be _destroyed_. The entire structure had crumbled down and broken to pieces. If only Frank had listened to his mother’s warnings about how frail it was; then maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess. But of course, Frank had to be defiant.

The light had soon faded, and the entire room was covered in complete darkness. Frank knew that he would be fine. He knew that he had nothing to worry about. His mother would be home in a few hours and he could call out for her before she left for her second job.

Frank managed to drag himself over to the wall that was closest to him; his leg protesting each tiny movement that he made. He leaned up against it and stared around into the dark that surrounded him. It was pretty cold down there, but Frank was certain that he could handle it. He could handle pretty much everything.

It wasn’t really that bad at first; being kept in the dark, unable to see anything. He couldn’t even see his hand in front of his face as he waved it there. But soon, Frank began to _see_ things. His mind was beginning to change the dark; altering and substituting it with unsettling images. It started out with small things. Like just a few shapes and sometimes humanoid figures that would never stay the same form. Always shifting. Frank was too young to realize that it was only his eyes trying to interpret the signals it was receiving; and since they were only receiving pitch black nothingness, they created their own images in the place of the void. Frank wouldn’t have been as terrified if he had known that.

Eventually, the images started to become worse. The darkness was now getting replaced with horrifying figures. Some of them had sharp teeth, and some of them had hundreds of eyes,  but some of them had none. No matter what they looked like, they were all coming for Frank. Frank could see them moving and morphing as they closed in on him, but they never seemed to reach him. At least, he couldn’t ever _feel_ them get to him. It was absolutely frightening for him. He would close his eyes but they still appeared behind his eyelids. They were always there. “Leave me alone!” Frank yelled to no one. It was only him in the basement.

The most horrifying image that appeared in front of him, was in the shape of someone that was extremely tall and skinny; almost as if they were just a mere skeleton with a thin layer of skin stretched over the bones. Like there was no flesh or organs that were inside of it. It’s fingers were elongated and pointed like claws, and it had no face. It was its lack of features that made it so unsettling. As it moved, it appeared to be shrouded in smoke, making it’s movements appear blurry and shifty to Frank. It wasn’t real. It was only Frank’s imagination. But he didn’t know that. To his young mind, everything that he was seeing seemed authentic and genuine.

The more freaked out Frank would get, the worse the images would appear. “I said go away!” He screamed; ducking his head down and covering his face with his hands. He just wanted to go back upstairs. As Frank began to breathe heavily, his small frame shaking with fear, he began to feel a something on his arm. It felt like something was crawling on him. Frank gave tiny shriek; quickly batting at his skin to knock whatever it was off of him. It didn’t take long until he felt it again, but this time it felt like there was more than just one. He could feel something on his neck along with both of his arms. He screamed again, thrashing his body as much as he was able to without hurting his leg any further.

Frank was certain about what they were. He knew that they were spiders. There weren’t really any other kinds of creepy crawly things – as Frank called them – in that house. He normally didn’t care about the arachnids. He found them to be harmless and kind of cool actually, but of course, that was _before_ they were crawling over him. He didn’t like that he couldn’t see them. It made the sensation of them scuttling around on his body that much more repulsive. His body shuddered and stomach filled with nausea as he felt them continue to walk over his skin. “Get off, get off, get off!” Frank screeched, tears beginning to brim his eyes.

It was that moment that Frank heard a door close from upstairs. It sounded like it was the front door. “Mom!?” Frank yelled desperately.

Frank’s mother had stepped into the living room after getting home from her first job, and she noticed that the place was empty. She assumed that her husband and Frank were off somewhere. “Well, at least his father is actually spending time with him.” She mumbled under her breath as she began to walk upstairs; not able to hear Frank calling out for her.

Frank waited a moment before trying again. “Mama!” He shouted out, but he still got no response. “Mama, I’m down here! Mama Please!”

His mother was up in her room; changing into her other work outfit and making sure that she looked semi-decent before heading back down the stairs. Frank could hear her stepping above his head, and he tried shouting again. “Please! Mom! I’m scared!” Linda stopped for a moment, almost certain that she had heard something; but there wasn’t another sound. Little did she know that Frank was too busy crying to shout out for her again. She knew that she didn’t have anymore time to waste before she would be late for her job, so she decided to ignore whatever she had thought she heard, and left the house again.

“Mama, no!” Frank cried out through his sobs as he heard the front door close again. “Please come back…” He whimpered; tears beginning to fall down his face freely. “Don’t leave me here.”

Frank ended up staying down there throughout the entire night and most of the next morning. His mind torturing him with illusions of terrifying creatures; spiders crawling over his body as he waited out the night. His mother eventually found him when she was looking for something on top of the fridge, and noticed that the key to the basement was no longer there. She curiously turned the doorknob to the underground room, and pushed it open; a shocked gasp escaping her when the light from the kitchen poured down into the lower level and revealed her son curled up and barely conscious. It took her a while, but she was eventually able to get him out of there.

It scarred him psychologically. After that, Frank was never able to stay in the complete darkness by himself, let alone a dark _basement_. Yet there he was, now trapped in _Gerard’s_ basement. It was absolute torture. He felt so small. So fucking _fragile_. “Gerard! Gerard _please_!” He begged loudly as he pulled at the handcuffs. “Don’t leave me here!” He didn’t realize that he had begged his mother of the same thing.

Gerard drew his legs up to his chest as Frank cried out for him. “I-I’m so fucking s-sorry, Frankie.” He whispered softly as he began to tangle his fingers in his hair and pull at it violently. It was much more bearable than the pain that was tearing him apart from the inside. As Gerard breathed in a shuddery breath, he felt his stab wound sting harshly. Fuck, he really needed to bandage himself up, but he didn’t have the strength. Frank was down there suffering because of him. The knowledge of that caused him much more torment than the wound could ever do.

“Please, please, please…” Frank whispered; closing his eyes tightly and biting down on his lip. “Gerard, I _need_ you!” The boy sobbed loudly as he looked up in the direction of the door. He never knew that he would be begging for Gerard’s presence.

Gerard collapsed and curled himself up on the floor, his body twitching and squirming slightly as he dealt with the pain that was swelling inside of him. He felt as though it were more of a punishment for _himself_ than it was for the other, but he had to keep Frank down there so he would learn to behave. He had to learn.

After a few minutes of silence on Gerard’s end, Frank miserably realized that he wasn’t coming back. Frank was going to have to stay down there forever, wasn’t he? Gerard was going to leave him there to rot. But he wouldn’t, would he? He had said that he loved him. You don’t leave the ones you love do die, do you? Frank hung his head down and cried quietly, tears falling down to his lap as he tried to keep his gaze averted from his surroundings. He didn’t want to look at the darkness, he was afraid of what would appear.

Gerard scrubbed a hand down his face when Frank went quiet. He had to resist the urge to go check on him to make sure that he was okay. He really regretted making him stay down there. He wished that he could go back and just take Frank up there with him, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t allow Frank to see how weak he was when it came to him. He had to show him that even though Gerard hated it, he was still willing to do whatever he had to do to make sure that Frank behaved.  He breathed in heavily and began to push himself up from the floor after a moment of just laying there. He had to clean up his wound so it didn’t get infected.

Frank sniffled; moving his free hand to wipe away the tears that were drying uncomfortably on his face. His neck was beginning to ache from him keeping his head hung down for so long, so he had to lift his head up. He risked cracking his eyes open, and he was unsurprisingly met with darkness. It wasn’t as bad as he remembered it being. “It’s just like having your eyes closed.” Frank muttered under his breath in an attempt to calm himself down. “You’re okay.” Frank turned his head to look around the room, his eyes straining to focus on anything that it was able to. Of course, that was nothing.

It didn’t take long after the boy had been staring into nothingness, that he began to see things again. It happened just as it had happened that one night many years ago. It started out with harmless things. Vague shapes and distorted images. It wasn’t anything that Frank couldn’t handle. But then, the shadows began to distort into more sinister shapes. It was a multitude of different monsters and beasts that Frank could swear were lurking just a few feet away. “No.” Frank whimpered; shaking his head and closing his eyes again. “Please go away.” He whispered.

Gerard had managed to stagger up to his room, and was digging through the cabinet that was under the sink in his bathroom. He pulled out a makeshift first-aid kit that he had put together, and sat it down beside him on the floor. Gerard sat down carefully and hissed in a breath as he pulled his shirt off of him; discarding the bloody fabric in the hamper. He assessed the damage of his wound now that he was able to get a better look at it, and he realized that he was going to have to give himself stitches. “Fuck.” He groaned as he opened the box, reaching for the bottle of rubbing alcohol so he could clean it up a little bit before he got started.

Gerard gritted his teeth and growled low in his throat as he poured it over his wound. It stung like a bitch, but he knew that he had to do it. He knew that the pain would be much worse if he let it get infected. “Okay. Okay, okay, okay.” Gerard mumbled as he grabbed a clean cloth from the box and began to wipe away some of the blood. Once he was certain that he cleaned the surrounding area good enough, he reached for the sutures that would be needed to close up the wound. He breathed in slowly and grimaced as he brought the needle up to the gash. “ _Fuck_.” He snarled as he pushed it through his skin and brought it back out. He whimpered quietly under his breath as he continued to loop it through six more times, before he tied it off and cut it.

“That was the hard part.” Gerard assured himself as he slumped back against the wall; tilting his head back and looking up at the ceiling with his face contorted in pain. All he had to do was bandage himself and change into some clothes that weren’t covered in blood, and he would be all set.

Frank was trying to ignore the way that the darkness surrounding him seemed to be looming over him. Each time he opened his eyes he was met with the same images that haunted him when he was a kid. “It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.” He muttered under his breath like a mantra in an attempt to keep himself calm. It was slowly beginning to work for him. The dark was gradually becoming less menacing to him and he was able to look around again. It wasn’t that bad. All it was, was a lack of light. There was nothing there. Frank was fine.

He was starting to feel a little more relaxed, but he was on edge again as he started to see the dark shift again. This time, it was _them_. It was the same, tall, faceless creature with the claw-like fingers. A whimper was pulled from him as he stared at the shifting figure. He knew it wasn’t real. He had known for a long time after that incident happened that it was only his own eyes delusions tricking him. But that didn’t make it any less terrifying. “Stop.” He gritted out to himself. “It’s not _real_.” Frank looked down at the floor, but he could still _feel_ that thing looking at him. It felt as though the shadow was hovering right beside him; staring down at him sinisterly. “Leave me alone.” He begged to no one.

Frank kept his head down and closed his eyes. He was beginning to feel the effects of the cold temperature of the basement; his body starting to shake from it. He drew his legs up to conserve his body heat and rested his head on his knees. He felt so alone down there. So worn down. He just wanted to leave. He wanted to get the fuck out of there and see something other than distorted faces. He wanted to see a human face. Even _Gerard’s_ face would be a godsend. Frank started to cry again. He had always prided himself on being strong willed. None of his friends had ever seen him cry. His own _mother_ hadn’t seen him cry since he was eight and his dog had died. He didn’t like for anyone to see that side of him, but no one was down there to see him. No one was down there to watch the tears slide down his face.

“I want to go.” Frank sobbed to the empty room. “I don’t want to be down here anymore.” He looked back up to the ceiling. “Gerard! Please! Get me out of here!” He cried, but Gerard was too far away to hear him then. He was up in his room lying on his bed. He found it better for himself to be there since it made it harder for him to hear Frank. It only caused him too much pain. “Gerard…” Frank whimpered pathetically.

Frank looked down again and glanced around the room, growing more and more frightened as the time stretched on. He was going to be left down there forever, wasn’t he? Gerard wasn’t coming back. He was going to leave him there to rot. Frank was going to die down there. God, he shouldn’t have stabbed Gerard. He should have behaved. “Gerard! I’m sorry!” He screamed. “Please, forgive me! Please!” Frank dropped his head down in defeat and sniffled quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Gerard was lying in his bed on his back as to not further injure his wound; his hands covering his ears. He couldn’t really hear Frank from where he was, but he kept them there just in case. He couldn’t deal with the way the boy sounded when he called out for him. He sounded so desperate and broken. It was absolutely gut wrenching. He just needed to wait it out. He had no idea of how long he was going to leave Frank down there. He knew that it had to be a while, or else Frank wouldn’t really understand how bad what he did was. Though all he wanted was to have Frank lying there next to him. He wanted to be there running his fingers over his skin, pressing his lips all over his body. He couldn’t remember how many times he had lied in bed and thought about the same thing.

He wanted Frank so bad. He wanted him to like him, _love_ him. He wanted to be with him in every sense of the word. Gerard wished that he didn’t love Frank. He wished that he had no feelings for him and had taken his life that night a year and three months ago. But he _did_ love him. He loved him with his entire being. So he could never do that to Frank. He would do anything he could to protect and care about him.

After a moment of lying there, Gerard  carefully removed one of his hands from his ear and listened out for a second. When nothing was heard, Gerard ran a hand over his face and rested them on his chest before deciding to turn onto his side with a tiny grunt. He looked over where Frank had slept the night before and ran his hand over the sheets with a melancholy smile spreading over his face. He thought back on how beautiful Frank had looked while he was sleeping. He looked so angelic. He _always_ did. Frank was the most devastatingly gorgeous human being to ever grace the earth with his presence. “Fuck, I love you so much.” He whispered to the empty bed and grabbed the pillow that the boy had used. It still smelled like him. It was such a delicate scent. One that made Gerard relax and breathe easier. He squeezed the pillow close to his chest and closed his eyes. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep, not while he knew that Frank was suffering, but he knew that lying there would be best for him.

Frank was shivering almost violently from the cold air that was seeming to grow colder by the minute, and he was beginning to feel his lower abdomen ache. He had to go to the bathroom soon. He was certain that he would be able to hold it, but he didn’t know for how long. It was beginning to really wear down on him.

\---

A few hours had passed. At least, that’s what it felt like to Frank. There was no way for him to really tell. The cold was growing more intense along with the pain in his bladder. He was slowly realizing that he wasn’t going to be able to hold it. It would have been different if Gerard had left him unchained. Then maybe he would be able to go to a corner or some shit and relieve himself. He wondered briefly if Gerard had done it on purpose. He wondered if he had thought about that exact scenario when cuffing him to the pipe. It was pure torture. Not only did he have to relive his fears from his childhood, but he was also going to humiliate himself.

Frank whined low in his throat as his lower abdomen began to sting. He crossed his legs tightly; wincing when he bumped against his bruising ankle. God, he just couldn’t get any fucking relief, could he? A small whimper escaped his lip as the the pain in his stomach grew steadily, and the threw his head back. It was slowly becoming unbearable for him. He started to squirm slightly as he sat there, doing _anything_ he could think of to hold on just a little longer. God, what would Gerard do to him if he came down there and found out he pissed himself? Would he get mad? Would he punish Frank for not being able to control himself? What if he made fun of him? Frank didn’t think that he would be able to live that down.

He bit down on his lip roughly and tried to focus on the pain in his lip instead of the pain in his bladder. It didn’t really work too well for him. He still felt himself slowly loosing control. Frank breathed in shallowly as the urge to go became particularly strong, and he closed his eyes tightly. “You can do this. You can do this.” Frank mumbled to himself. “O-oh god, no you can’t” He grunted; a small wet patch growing on the front of his sweatpants as he leaked a little. It wasn’t a lot – not _yet_ anyways – but it was enough to make him feel disgusting.

Another strong wave of pain crashed over him and he shifted his hips back and forth; breathing quickly. He was sure that he would have been able to ride it out without releasing, but he suddenly felt something crawling down his arm. “Shit!” Frank squealed and thrashed his arms the best he could with one of them being cuffed. “Get off! Get off of me motherfucker!” He screamed. In the terror that was surging through his body, Frank wasn’t able to control the muscles in his lower abdomen and he completely lost it. It took him a moment to realize it since he was too preoccupied with the thing crawling on his arm, but he eventually began to feel a warmth spreading between his legs and the pressure in his bladder relieving itself. Frank could smell it almost immediately, and he watched as it began to pool around him on the floor. He wasn’t able to deny that it felt fucking amazing, a small groan of relief slipping past his lips as the pain slowly went away.

That feeling didn’t last long for Frank, though. As soon as it was over, he looked down at himself in repulsion. How could he allow himself to do that? He was so dirty. _Filthy._ He was sitting in a puddle of his own urine like a fucking _animal._ Frank closed his eyes and dropped his head down in hatred for himself. Gerard was probably going to hurt him for this. He pissed all over his pants and his floor. “What’s wrong with me?” Frank whimpered quietly. He wanted to curl up and die already.

\---

It was quite a few hours that incident had happened, that Gerard believed that it had been long enough. He knew that both he and Frank had been through enough. He started to make his way to the basement door; walking quickly even though it caused his wound more pain. Once he reached the entrance to the lower level, he pulled it open; light pouring down and illuminating the room. “Frankie?” He called out softly as his eyes began to adjust to the low light. It was then that he noticed that the light bulb was no longer lit, and he frowned. That must have been what prompted Frank to start screaming. He must be absolutely terrified of the dark.

Frank was certain that he was just hearing things, he hadn’t seen the light appear since his eyes had been shut so tightly. “Frank?” He heard a voice call out again, but this time he looked up. In that moment, Gerard looked like an absolute angel. The light shining from behind his white hair creating an almost radiant halo surrounding him.

“Gerard?” Frank croaked; voice sounding raw and abused. He almost couldn’t believe that Gerard had come back for him.

“Yeah, Frankie. It’s me.” Gerard made his way down the steps and walked up to Frank; his nose scrunching up as the smell of urine reached him. He crouched down to get eye level with him, and looked him over in the dim light. “Are you okay?” He murmured as he reached a hand to cup the boy’s cheek. “Did you have an accident?”

Frank gave a sigh of relief when he heard Gerard’s voice again, but that feeling was immediately replaced with humiliation when he was reminded of what he had done. “Y-yeah…” He whispered, keeping his eyes averted. He felt so fucking weak and just so disgusting. “I’m s-sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just- I couldn’t hold it anymore. Please don’t get mad at me.” He begged; pressing his face eagerly into the other’s touch even though he was a little frightened of what the other man was currently thinking about him. He had just been alone for much too long, so he was desperate for any gentle contact. He was almost certain that Gerard was going to punish him in some way for doing that. Maybe he was going to make him stay down there longer.

Gerard felt his heart break a little at how Frank sounded. He seemed to be so frightened and ashamed. “Frank—“

“Please. _P-please_ don’t make m-me stay down here anymore.” Frank interrupted. He didn’t want to know what Gerard was going to say to him.

“Frank.” Gerard moved to grab at the other’s shoulders’ giving them a gentle squeeze. “I’m not mad at you for doing that. Okay?” He reassured softly. “I know you didn’t mean to do that, Darling.” Gerard briefly thought about how Frank must have looked as he struggled to hold it. He thought about how he might have writhed or whimpered in desperation. It was an extremely pleasing image for him. He only wished that he could have been there to listen to him. Gerard was certain that he made pretty noises when he was desperate. Gerard shook his head of those thoughts and looked back at Frank; moving his hand to stroke over Frank’s jaw again. “I’m not going to punish you for that. I think that happening to yourself would be punishment enough.”

Frank gave a tiny sigh and nodded. It was a huge relief to hear Gerard say that. “O-okay.” He stammered quietly, looking up at Gerard finally. He felt a little emotional at seeing an actual _human_ face, rather than the distorted and horrifying ones that had been plaguing his mind. He began to feel tears well up in his eyes, and he started to pull at the handcuffs. He needed to get closer to Gerard. He needed to be comforted. “Please un-cuff me.” He begged; tears falling down his face again. “P-please just…just get me out of here. ”

Gerard furrowed his brow and tilted his head sadly. He couldn’t stand how broken Frank had looked. “Okay, Darling, okay.” Gerard murmured softly. He reached into his pockets quickly and shuffled to reach behind Frank so he could unlock the cuffs. As soon as he got them off, Frank threw himself at him and wrapped his arms around his torso. Gerard grunted softly as he was knocked back but he managed to keep his balance, and returned the embrace tightly. “Don’t worry, sweetheart…I’ve got you, alright?” He cooed; a smile spreading on his lips as he felt Frank bury his face in his chest. He felt all the pain from earlier dissipate into nearly nothing at the close contact. It felt so good, even though the boy was squeezing his wound.

“O-okay.” Frank mumbled against Gerard’s chest; clinging onto him tightly. He never would have thought that he would want to keep himself so close to the other man, but right then, it was all he wanted. He felt oddly safe in Gerard’s strong arms. He felt like the monsters in the dark wouldn’t bother him since he was there. “C-can we go now?”

Gerard managed to pull back despite the tight grip Frank had on him, and held his face in his hands so he would look into his eyes. “In a moment, Frank. Do you see why I had to leave you down here?” He inquired, looking down at the boy with authoritative gaze.

Frank nodded. He knew that he had misbehaved. He knew that he did something that he shouldn’t have, so it was his punishment. “…Yeah…I know.” He answered sounding almost ashamed. Frank moved to grip tightly at the front of Gerard’s shirt; looking up at the older man with guilt. “I’m sorry I hurt you…” He apologized.

Gerard moved to run his fingers through Frank’s hair; scratching at his scalp affectionately. It was meaningful to him that Frank made an apology. “I forgive you, Frankie. Are you going to behave for me, now?”

The sensation of Gerard’s nails scratching gently at his head made him feel strangely calmer, and looked up at the older man with his eyes wide with sincerity. “Y-yes sir. I promise.” He replied earnestly.

Gerard gave a satisfied hum at both the answer and the name. Hearing Frank call him ‘sir’ caused something to stir deep in his stomach, and he cupped the younger’s jaw. “Good boy.” Gerard commended as he stroked his thumb over the other’s lower lip. He leaned in slowly and pressed a gentle kiss to Frank’s forehead.

Frank was unable to keep his lips from tilting up into a weak smile at the tiny amount of praise and the soft kiss, and he pushed himself forwards again to press his face against the others chest. He inhaled deeply, finding the other’s smell somewhat comforting. It was so much nicer than the musty and moldy scent of the basement. “Can we go upstairs now? Please?” His voice was slightly muffled from being pressed against the others chest, but Gerard was able to understand him.

“Yeah, let’s get you out of here and clean you up.” Gerard began said with a tiny smile as he began to stand up; his arms wrapping around the boy and lifting him up to carry him. He didn’t pay much mind to the way that his pants were practically soaked. It didn’t matter much to him because it was _Frank_. He would do anything for him. If that meant helping him get cleaned up after pissing himself, he was willing to do it. “Are you hungry?” He asked Frank affectionately as he began to make his way up the stairs again.

Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck and nodded; resting his head against his chest. “A little.” He confirmed. He could feel his empty stomach aching from hunger.

Gerard gave a small nod and began to carry Frank carefully up the stairs. “Well, as soon as we get out of here and I clean you up, I’ll get you something to eat.”

“Be careful.” Frank warned; tightening his grip as one of the stairs made a loud creak.

Gerard smiled gently and held Frank closer to him. “Don’t worry Frankie, I’ve got you.” He reassured, and a few moments later they exited the lower level of the house.

Frank closed his eyes against the bright light of the hallway. It was nearly blinding to him since his eyes were so used to the dark, but he enjoyed it thoroughly given the circumstances. He felt as thought he could breathe easier. Gerard felt Frank sigh heavily against his torso, and he leaned down to kiss the top of his head. He felt as though he just couldn’t stop giving him little gestures of affection. It didn’t appear to be bothering the other, so he didn’t really feel bad for doing it. He couldn’t ever really express how eternally grateful he was that he was actually able to be there with the boy. Especially since he had been fantasizing about it for such a long time.

“Would you like to take a shower?” Gerard asked as he began to carry Frank towards his room.

The idea of a shower seemed absolutely heavenly to Frank in that moment. Now that he was thinking about it, it was all he wanted. “That would be nice.” He said softly. He still didn’t want to talk to loudly in fear that Gerard would get upset again and throw him back in the basement.

“Alright.” Gerard nodded as he carried him up the other staircase. “Can I trust you to come downstairs as soon as you’re done? I need to go ahead and get started on dinner.”

“I promise. I-I’ll be good.” Frank didn’t used to be so frightened of Gerard. Sure, Gerard was being nice to him now, but he had beat him and basically tortured him mentally by keeping him down there. Frank knew that Gerard was willing to hurt him if he had to, even if he had said that he didn’t want to. It felt so strange to the boy that he was able to be so scared of him, yet he also felt comforted by his presence. Maybe it was because of how gentle and caring he seemed whenever he wasn’t hurting him. Besides, Frank _had_ deserved it whenever he had gotten hurt. He had hurt Gerard first, so he was only punishing him like he should.

“Thank you.” Gerard smiled. “You may take your time, I know that I enjoy long showers whenever I can get them.” He gave a tiny chuckle. “If I finish cooking before you get out, I’ll just come tell you that it’s ready so your food doesn’t get too cold.”

Frank hummed in confirmation that he understood, and watched with a semi-amused smile as Gerard struggled to open the door to his room while he still held him. When it was finally opened he was carried into the bathroom that was connected to the room, and Gerard sat him down on the toilet with a small grunt. “Thanks.” He said softly.

Gerard grinned and ruffled his hands over Frank’s hair. “Of course.” He nodded. “If you need me for anything, just call out for me.”

“Will you come help me…this time?” Frank sounded so small when he asked that, and it broke Gerard’s heart.

“Yes.” Gerard nodded, a sympathetic frown tugging at his lips as he looked down at the boy. “Yes, Frankie I will. You know why I wasn’t able to come for you those other times you needed me, right? You understand why I had to ignore you? I hated it Frank. I hated it so much, but it’s what I had to do.”

Frank fiddled with his hands in his lap and bit down on his lower lip. “I know…” He assured Gerard. “I understand why you had to.” Frank hadn’t behaved.

“Okay, good.” Gerard sighed heavily and glanced down at Frank’s damp pants. “I’m going to go ahead and leave you now. Just put your dirty clothes in the hamper when you take them off. I’ll leave you some clean clothes on the bed, alright?”

“Thank you.” Frank offered Gerard a tiny smile. He couldn’t wait to get cleaned off. His sweats were sticking uncomfortably to his crotch and he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to handle the sensation.

Gerard’s lips curled up into a smile to mirror Frank’s and he began to move towards the door. He drummed his fingers along the frame and glanced around the room. He was wary to leave Frank somewhere by himself when he wasn’t chained up, but Frank had promised to be good. “I’ll be right downstairs.” He said; looking over Frank one more time just to make sure he was okay before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

Frank had an odd feeling of fear wash over him when the other man left. He felt suddenly suffocated with the realization that he was alone. He didn’t want to be alone. He had already been alone for too long. Frank was on the verge of calling out for Gerard already; his breathing picking up as he looked around the empty bathroom. It wasn’t the basement. It was a nice, brightly lit restroom that he _wasn’t_ trapped in. It was okay. Frank was okay. He needed to do this. He needed to take a shower and clean himself off and then go downstairs to eat.

Frank closed his eyes and breathed in deeply to steady himself; before standing up from the toilet. He tugged his shirt – well, technically _Gerard’s_ shirt – over his head and threw it into the basket before finally working the sweatpants down his legs. As the wet fabric was peeled from his skin, he felt so much cleaner already. He pulled down his boxers after that, and wadded them up with the pants before throwing them in the basket as well. He cringed as he thought about how Gerard was going to have to deal with them later.

He stepped up to the mirror that was situated over the sink. It was the first time that he was really able to look at himself in a while. He had bruises forming over the side of his face, his lip was split and his hair was a little wild – probably from the way that Gerard kept grabbing it and touching it – but he didn’t look as bad as he thought he would. He had expected there to be dark circles under his eyes and for the bruises to be much worse than they were. They felt worse than they looked. Frank ran his fingertips over each of the bruises and his cracked lip carefully. When he looked back up at his own eyes, he could see that they were shining with tears that were threatening to spill over. Why did he have to make Gerard mad? Why did he have to provoke him and make him hurt him?

Frank wiped the wetness from his eyes and looked away from his reflection. What was wrong with him? Why did he always have to act out? Why couldn’t he just be good? He deserved to get hit. He deserved to get kept in the basement. He was surprised that Gerard hadn’t hurt him _more_. He didn’t understand why he was so remorseful whenever he _did_ hurt him, and why he seemed to be so kind to him afterwards. _Because he loves you_. Frank frowned. How could Gerard possibly love him?

Frank stopped himself from thinking those thoughts after it was beginning to affect him too much, and he pulled himself away from the sink. He needed to get cleaned up. He was filthy and smelled like _piss_ and it _really_ wasn’t helping him feel too good about himself. Frank finally stepped into the shower and turned the water on warm. The spray of the water felt absolutely divine as it ran over his skin. He could already feel so much _cleaner_. Even the water pressure was fucking amazing. He didn’t have good water pressure at his own house. It was a miracle if the hot water lasted for more than two minutes there.

Frank allowed himself a few moments of just standing under the water before he began to actually wash himself off. He started with washing his hair; humming quietly to himself as he lathered the shampoo into soft bubbles. It was nice to be there. He was so grateful that Gerard was allowing him to take a shower. Gerard was so nice to him. Even after how he had stabbed him, he still allowed him to be by himself and get clean. He should be more thankful.

Gerard was moving around his kitchen as he began to cook food for him and Frank. He could hear the water of the shower running from the upper level of his house and he had to stop himself From thinking about how the other was up there, completely undressed. He felt weird for thinking of Frank that way while he was up there. He was normally in his house all by himself when he had those thoughts. Tucked away up in his room as he thought about all the dirty things he wanted to do to Frank. He always felt wrong after he finished, but it wasn’t enough to make him stop.

Gerard cleared his throat as he shook his head to bring himself back to reality. He couldn’t get caught up with thinking about those things right then. He needed to focus on cooking.

Frank finished cleaning himself off quickly, but he wanted to stay in the shower for a while longer. Gerard _had_ told him that he could take his time, hadn’t he? He just wanted to relax for a moment. He hadn’t really been able to do that the entire time that he was there. Frank slid down to he tiled floor and held his head under the spray of water, holding his breath as it ran over his face. He wondered briefly about what Gerard was cooking for them. He wondered if it was something that he would enjoy. Just the thought of food was making him realize just how _hungry_ he was.

He let the water run over him for a few minutes longer before he decided it was time for him to get out. Frank must have been in there for close to thirty five minutes. A cloud of steam followed him from the shower as he reached for a clean towel and wrapped it over himself. He felt like an actual person again now that he was clean. He no longer felt like an animal that was trapped in a cage, wallowing in it’s own filth. He opened the bathroom door and peaked into the bedroom to make sure that no one was in there; before he made his way to the bed. There was a t shirt and some pajama bottoms along with some boxers folded neatly on the foot of the mattress just like Gerard had said. As Frank began to get dressed in the other’s clothes, he could smell whatever Gerard was cooking wafting up in the air, and it smelled _delicious_. He quickly got finished with putting the clothes on and made his way out of the room so he could see if Gerard was finished with the food yet.

Frank walked down the hallway and padded down the stairs. He didn’t know if Gerard was in the living room or in the kitchen so he decided to go to the closest room first. Just as he was about to turn the corner to get into the kitchen, Gerard was suddenly in front of him. “Oh!” he heard the other man exclaim.

“I was just on my way to tell you that dinner was done.” Gerard laughed; looking down at Frank’s hand that was clutching his chest. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“No, that’s okay.” Frank smiled; a breathy chuckle spilling past his lips at himself. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be right there.” He stood up on his toes briefly to try to look over Gerard’s shoulder into the kitchen curiously. “So you said dinner was ready?”

“Yeah, I made fettuccine alfredo…is that alright? I didn’t really have any other options. I need to go to the store soon.” Gerard shrugged. He was willing to try to find something else to make if Frank didn’t want to eat it.

Frank nodded. “Of course. It’s more than alright.” He said, smiling again. “I love it.”

“That’s good.” Gerard was glad to hear that. He looked up at Frank’s damp hair after a moment tipped his head towards it. “Your hair looks cute by the way.” He teased playfully before turning to walk back to the kitchen.

Frank subconsciously reached up to run his hand through his hair, his face flushing a little. “Whatever.” He mumbled under his breath. He hated that the older man made him flustered so easily.

“Where do you want to eat at?” Gerard asked as Frank walked into the room behind him.

Frank looked around before looking back at Gerard. “I don’t know…What are my options?”

Gerard grabbed two plates from the cupboard and began to put some pasta on each of them. “Well, we can sit at the bar, the dining room table, or in the living room if you’d like.” He offered before picking up both of their plates and waiting for a response.

Frank didn’t know what to choose. He didn’t want to decide on the wrong one. “I um- I don’t…what do _you_ want to do?” He asked a little nervously.

Gerard didn’t like that Frank seemed so hesitant about choosing. “Frank, I want to make sure that you’re comfortable. I honestly don’t have any problem with where we eat. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to choose.” He tired to give a disarming smile, and sat the plates down on the countertop.

“Are you sure?” Frank questioned softly as he watched Gerard. When the other man nodded sincerely, Frank cleared his throat. “I guess…The living room then?”

“Sounds good.” Gerard replied. He picked up the plates again and tilted his head in the direction of the door. “Lead the way, Frankie.”

Frank complied and began to walk in front of Gerard to the living room. He made his way to the couch and watched as the older man sat the plates down in front him on the coffee table before going back to the kitchen. “Thank you for cooking dinner.” He said politely when Gerard returned with their drinks.

Gerard sat down next to Frank and nodded. “I enjoyed every second of cooking knowing that it was for you.” He admitted truthfully. It felt nice that Frank was expressing gratitude.

Frank bit down on his lip and ducked his head down shyly. He reached forward after a moment and finally took a bite. He wasn’t even surprised that it tasted marvelous. Gerard seemed to be an excellent cook.

They ate together in a comfortable silence as they turned on the television. It was pretty uneventful, but that’s what both of them needed right then. Their day had been tiring, so they required a moment to unwind. When they both finished, they sat their dishes back down on the table. Frank was the first to break the silence. “That was amazing.” He complemented and leaned back against the cushions. They were much more comfortable than the wall he had been leaning against in the basement.

Gerard cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink. “Really? You liked it?” He asked as he sat his glass down.

“Really, Gerard. I _loved_ it.” Frank assured him honestly. He would be willing to eat that for the rest of his goddamn life if he had to.

Gerard ran a hand through his hair and looked at his lap shyly. “I’m glad you loved it Frank…I love _you_.” He didn’t know why he said it again just then, but he felt compelled to. He needed Frank to know that he was so important to him.

Frank’s breathing hitched slightly; It was the second time that he had heard Gerard say that, and he still found it extremely hard to believe. He looked over Gerard’s face and gave a sight frown. “But…How can you love me Gerard?” He asked quietly, he didn’t want to upset Gerard by asking this. “You just met me.” Frank explained

Gerard sighed deeply and shuffled closer to Frank. “Frank, I didn’t _just_ meet you. I met you quite a while ago actually.”

Frank furrowed his brows in confusion, tilting his head to the side as he tried to remember ever meeting this strange man. “What do you mean?” He asked when he wasn’t able to come up with the time that Gerard had been thinking about.            

The older man had known that Frank obviously didn’t remember their first meeting, but it still made him feel a little sadness tug at his heart. “It was about a year and three months ago.” Gerard explained, sparing Frank of describing the exact amount of days so it wouldn’t freak him out as much. “It was around 8:30 at night, and it was raining. You saw me walking down the street and you offered to let me get dry for a few minutes by coming inside, even though you were supposed to be closing.”

Frank thought about what Gerard was saying. He was trying so hard to remember what the hell he was talking about, when it suddenly hit him. He remembered that night. But he had no idea that that kind stranger had been _Gerard._

It had been raining that night – just as Gerard had explained – Frank had just made his way out of the large door of the library and stood under the awning as he lit up one of his cigarettes. He felt so much stress melt away as he took the first drag of smoke into his lungs. It’s not that working at the library was a _stressful_ job, it was just that Frank hadn’t been able to really take a smoke break all day, and he had been itching for it quite a bit. He exhaled the smoke after holding it in his lungs for a little longer than usual, and he smiled to himself.

As Frank was caught up in the haze of his nicotine high, he heard the scuff of someone walking on the sidewalk through the harsh sound of the rain. It took his eyes a moment to focus on the dark shape of someone  walking down the street. As they got closer, Frank was able to see that it was a man. He was drenched from the icy rain, and appeared to be shivering. Frank felt a pang of sympathy for him as he continued to watch him, and he shrugged to himself. What’s the harm in letting the guy into the library for a bit just to get warm?

“If you want to get out of the rain for a few minutes, you can come inside here for a bit.” He called out when the man was close enough to hear him. The stranger almost seemed startled by him, his body turning to face him quickly as he stared at him. It allowed Frank to actually take in the details of the other. He looked pale, almost as if he had porcelain skin. His face was framed elegantly in ebony locks that were dripping with the rain, his hazel eyes intense as they scanned over him. His mouth was pulled into a thin line, though his lips looked soft and delicate and his nose was sharp and upturned. Frank couldn’t help but find his face rather remarkable.

“What?” The stranger said softly, as if he was wondering if Frank had even said anything in the first place.

Frank breathed a small giggle; shaking his head as he repeated himself. “I said, If you wanted to get out of the rain for a few minutes, you can come inside here for a little bit.” Frank waved his hand that was holding the cigarette towards the library behind him. “I’m actually supposed to be closing up right now since it’s eight thirty…” He smiled sheepishly as he admitted it to the older man. “But you look like you’ve had a rough day, and a few minutes won’t really hurt anybody.” He laughed as he watched the man continue to stand in the pouring rain. He didn’t seem to be protesting to anything Frank was suggesting, so the boy just leaned forward and risked grabbing him by his hand, quickly pulling him under the shelter of the awning. “C’mon.”

Frank heard the other gasp softly in surprise, a tiny smile spreading on his own lips as he began to open the door. “I- um- Okay.” The stranger stammered out almost nervously, and Frank flicked his cigarette out onto the sidewalk before stepping inside.

Frank walked over to the desk that he used throughout the day, and glanced down at the empty coffeepot. He thought about how the coffee might help the other man warm up, and he turned around to face him. “You want some coffee?” He offered.

The man appeared to perk up at the mention of the drink, a gentle smile poising itself on his lips. “Um, no- Yeah, coffee… um- coffee sounds good.” He stuttered out eventually as he tugged at the dark strands of his hair and looked back down at the floor.

Frank thought it was quite endearing with the way that the man seemed to be so shy. He hadn’t really ever met anyone that was so reserved. “Alright.” He nodded, turning back to the pot to begin making a new one, even though it was a little late in the afternoon to be doing so. When the coffee started to brew, Frank turned around to face the older man again. “My name’s Frank by the way.” He informed him as he gave a disarming smile to the other since he appeared to be so nervous.

Frank watched as the man looked up to him, his eyes appearing to drop down to his lips. “M-my name’s Gerard.” The man stammered out. He seemed to have a lot of trouble with his shaky voice, but Frank found it charming in a way. Gerard, huh? Frank liked that name. It was an unusual name, but it fit him. He seemed to be an unusual person.

Frank remembered that they had talked mindlessly as they waited for the coffee to brew, their voices quiet in the large room. Though, it had mostly been _Frank_ who had done all of the talking. He didn’t mind it though. There weren’t very many people who really just _listened_ to what Frank had to say, and also actually seemed _interested_ in what he was talking about. Gerard seemed to hang onto his every word, and Frank genuinely enjoyed it. They only grew quiet whenever the coffee was finally finished, and they both made their respectful cups – Frank keeping his black while he watched with an amused smile as Gerard drowned his in cream and sugar – and Frank hopped up to sit up on his desk. His eyes followed the older man as he leaned against a table in front of him.

Frank didn’t really learn anything about Gerard. The only piece of information that he was able to get from him was that he was twenty nine years old, which was a little surprising to the boy. He hadn’t seemed that old. Instead, he looked to be close to twenty three or maybe twenty four. Frank understood that Gerard didn’t really want to talk about himself that much. Not everyone was as open with themselves as Frank appeared to be, but to be honest, Frank wasn’t usually like that either. There was just something about Gerard that made him feel compelled to keep talking. The other man seemed to be extremely fidgety as he sat there, but Frank wasn’t one to judge when it came to things like that. He knew that some people just couldn’t help it. The more he watched Gerard, the more he realized how strange he was. Not in a bad way though. He was interesting. That wasn’t the right word. He was something else…he was _eccentric._

They finished their drinks around the same time, and Frank offered to throw Gerard’s disposable cup away for him. He threw both of the cups away and glanced up at the clock with a sigh. They had been talking for around fifty minutes, and Frank had genuinely enjoyed himself during that time, but he really should have been closing up by now. “Well, It was nice talking to you Gerard.” Frank stated earnestly, and smiled softly. “But I really should be closing up the library now.” He gave a slight nod in the man’s direction as he spoke.

Gerard quirked his eyebrow up and offered a smile in return. “Oh- Yeah.” He murmured as he pushed himself off of the table and began to walk to the two large doors alongside Frank. “It was nice. I-I had…Fun?” Frank tilted his head when it sounded as though he were confused if he had actually _did_ have fun, but he nodded with a hum when Gerard confirmed his statement. Yes – fun – I had fun.”

The boy breathed out a small laugh. “Yeah, me too.” He said in agreement as he nodded.

They both walked out to stand underneath the small awning that protected them from the rain, which Frank noticed had slowed down quite a bit. He felt relieved for Gerard that he no longer had to walk in the harsh rain like he previously had been. Frank began to reach into his pockets after a few seconds, and pulled out a cigarette; bringing it to his lips and lighting it a moment later. “Hey, Frank?” He heard Gerard say quietly, and he turned to face him.

Frank raised his eyebrows up in question as he pulled smoke into his lungs, his gaze flicking to Gerard’s face. “Hmm?” He hummed in response.

“Do you think I could… I don’t- I mean.” Gerard began, and Frank watched as he gave a frustrated sigh before attempting to speak again. “Can I bum a smoke?” There was a hopeful glint that flashed over the older man’s eyes, and Frank couldn’t ever bring himself to deny the man of a cigarette. Frank quickly placed the cigarette in his mouth while he began to pat down his pockets and retrieved he pack. He handed one happily to Gerard, and held up his lighter to light the cherry.

Gerard sighed gratefully after he inhaled the first breath of smoke. “Thanks.” He smiled, looking out at the rain hitting the sidewalk.

Frank exhaled his own breath of smoke, a small smile poised on his lip. “It’s no problem man.” He murmured earnestly, his gaze following the older man’s to the slick roads.

Gerard looked back at him after a moment of comfortable silence, and began to speak again. “Well…Bye, I guess.” He waved his hand around, and Frank’s gaze hitched on the way that his pinky stretched out further than his other fingers. Like he had thought before: this man was eccentric.

Frank gave a short nod and waved as well, offering the man a kind smile as he began to walk away. “Yeah, Bye…You get home safe okay?” He didn’t know why he felt compelled to say that, but he just wanted Gerard to stay safe. He wanted him to get home without getting hurt. “There are some pretty crazy people out there at this time of night.” The boy warned playfully. Even though he had been joking, there was still a hint of seriousness underlying it. New Jersey wasn’t exactly a safe place to be at night.

“There sure are.” Frank heard Gerard agree after he turned around to begin locking the doors to the library. “You be safe too, try not to run into any serial killers tonight.” That seemed almost strangely specific to Frank, but he shrugged it off. Gerard was a weird guy, but Frank kind of liked it.

“I’ll try my best.” He laughed. He heard the scuff of Gerard’s shoes begin to walk away, and when he turned back around, he was gone. Frank gave a tiny shrug and pocketed his keys, before making his way to his car quickly.

That was the last time that he saw Gerard. At least, until recently. He looked for him though, almost everyday. Each time that he closed up the library he would wait outside and smoke a cigarette in hopes that maybe Gerard would come back and visit. He regretted not giving him his number. Frank had wanted to try to make a friendship with him, or maybe something more. Frank couldn’t help that the man had been pretty. But, over the months that had passed, Frank eventually forgot the name that went along with that pretty face, before the forgot the face completely. Sure, it hadn’t been that long, but Frank had never been good with faces. He was lucky that he even remembered Gerard’s for as long as he did.

But now, as he looked up at Gerard’s face again, he wondered how he could have ever forgotten. In that moment, Gerard appeared to change in front of him. He no longer looked like the man that had kidnapped him, or the man that had hurt him. Instead, he looked like the kind stranger that he had met that night. He looked sweet and charming and _real._ It was as if Frank were finally seeing Gerard as an actual person. As someone that had feelings and emotions. Frank didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Fuck…” He whispered through his slightly parted lips. “I actually remember that.”

Gerard was shocked that Frank remembered. He really hadn’t expected him to, so he felt a little happiness swell up inside of him. “Wait, really?” He asked incredulously, shuffling a little closer to Frank with a smile.

“Yeah, I remember that it was raining, and for some reason you thought it was a good idea to be walking outside in the freezing cold.” He smirked as he recounted that night for Gerard; talking to him the same way that he would have talked to him when he knew him as the interesting stranger, and not his kidnapper. “And being the amazing, heroic person that I am, I allowed you to come inside and I gave you some coffee.” He smiled. “Then we just talked and chilled for about an hour.”

Gerard chuckled warmly, delighted that Frank actually remembered meeting him that night. “That’s right.” He confirmed with a nod. “I remember the first moment that I saw you, Frank…” Gerard spoke softly, his voice suddenly growing more quiet as he thought back.

“Yeah?” Frank asked, dropping his voice to match Gerard’s.

“Yeah.” Gerard nodded, looking over the boy’s features. “I felt like I was frozen still; I was completely enraptured by your beauty the moment my eyes met yours.”

Frank’s eyebrows raised as he felt his face flush. He wasn’t used to anyone talking about him like that. “R-really?” He breathed softly, his eyes darting down to avoid Gerard’s.

Gerard gave a somewhat breathy laugh as he hummed in confirmation. “I really was Frank. And I still am.” He added. “I’ve never seen anyone as gorgeous as you Frank. You have this ethereal aura surrounding you that is so hard to describe. I’m drawn to you.” Gerard daringly reached for Frank’s hands and tangled his fingers with his own.

Frank allowed the contact for that moment and chewed on his lower lip. He could feel his heart rate speed up unexpectedly as he finally looked back up at the older man. “I-I um…” He gave a nervous laugh and shook his head. He didn’t really know how to respond to the kind of things that Gerard was saying. He almost didn’t believe him, but his eyes looked so earnest. He would have believed anything that Gerard told him in that moment. He glanced down at his hands when he felt the man’s thumbs caressing the sides of them, before he flicked his gaze back up curiously. “Why didn’t you come back?” Frank asked finally. “Why did you wait over a year?”

Gerard released the boy’s hands and carded his fingers through his hair nervously. “I _did_ come back, actually…” He admitted. “I came back every day.”

Frank narrowed his eyes and shook his head again. “What do you mean? I never saw you.”

“I- um…That’s because I didn’t _let_ you see me, Frank.” Gerard felt like his lungs were beginning to constrict at the prospect of actually telling the other about how he basically stalked him for over a year. “I always made sure that I was hidden.”

Frank tilted his head to the side. “Hidden...?”

Gerard bit down on his lower lip and exhaled shakily. “I came into the library everyday Frank. I came in and I just…I watched you.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and peeked back at the boy in front of him. “I felt compelled to do so. My body would always ache and I would feel like I was getting torn apart if I didn’t come to see you. You’re just so _beautiful_ …” Gerard closed his eyes as he continued to confess his strange habit. “I couldn’t stand to be away from you Frank. I know that it’s strange, and I know it might cause you discomfort to know that I did this, but I had to see you Frank.”

Frank was quiet for a moment, not really knowing how to respond. “You- you just came in and you- you just _watched_ me?” Frank asked finally. “Why?”

Gerard gave as slight nod. “I told you, Frank. I _had_ to come see you. Each moment that I was away from you, or didn’t know what you were doing, it felt like I was suffocating. I get this- this pain…” Gerard motioned his hand over his lower stomach. “I get it right here. It feels like my insides are getting twisted around and lit on fire. And my heart, and my lungs…it feels like someone is slowly squeezing them. Like someone is digging their nails into them. I’ve always had that feeling, ever since I was younger.” Gerard furrowed his brow and reached for the boy’s hand again. “After I saw you, being away from you made it worse. But when I’m around you…” Gerard sounded a little breathless as he scooted closer to Frank. “I feel… _better_.”

Frank glanced down at the hand that was clasped between the older man’s, his gut swooping in an unidentifiable emotion as he tried to actually grasp what Gerard was telling him. He felt oddly…flattered; there was something about knowing that he was the one that was able to ease the other’s pain that made his feel a little proud. Though he still felt a little uncomfortable to know that he had been watched all that time. “How do I make it better?” He asked curiously, trying not to respond in a way that would upset Gerard.

Gerard quirked his eyebrow up, his lips tilting down slightly as he thought about how to answer the question. “I don’t- I don’t actually _know_ how you make it better.” He admitted, giving the boy’s hand a slight squeeze. “But being close to you – _touching_ you – soothes the pain inside of me.” Gerard knew that it had to do with something in his brain. He knew that it was all a mental thing that he wouldn’t ever be able to actually understand, so he just told Frank what he knew. “I just love you so much Frank. Do you know what it’s like to love someone so severely? To love someone so much that each time you see them you feel like you’re drowning in affection for them? That you’re choking on the feeling, but you don’t mind it at all, because the taste of it is so sweet?” He questioned, tightening his grip on Frank only slightly to emphasize his point.

Frank shook his head; his mouth slightly agape as he looked over Gerard. “I don’t think that I do.” He answered.

Gerard gave a breathy chuckle and began to card his fingers through the boy’s hair. “Well…That’s how I feel for you.” He professed. “I love you with my entire _being_ , Frank. I love you so fucking much that I can’t seem to handle it at times.” Gerard gave a tiny hum as he noticed that the other hadn’t pulled away from his touches yet. “So I feel so much better when I am able to be around you, or whenever I am able to touch you.” He attempted to explain.

Frank could feel himself subconsciously leaning into Gerard’s gentle touches, and he cleared his throat lightly. He had no idea on how to respond. How was anyone supposed to respond to someone confessing their love for you? Frank had always found it a little awkward when people he didn’t like back told him that they liked him, so how was he supposed to deal with his _kidnapper_ telling him that? “I- um…Thanks…I guess?” He tried.

Gerard gave a tiny laugh, his mouth pulling into a crooked smile. He knew that it was a lot to take in. He knew that he just needed to give the boy some time. That he would soon come to realize that he loved Gerard too. He had to. “You’re welcome, Frankie.” He murmured.

“Why didn’t you just come talk to me?” _Instead of watching me, or kidnapping me?_ Frank asked curiously. Leaving that last part unsaid.

Gerard laughed a little disbelievingly. “I liked you too much.” He said simply, before elaborating. “I was never good with talking with people, Frankie… I never knew how to really communicate in a way that people found ‘normal’. I always stutter or I just- I just always fucking mess up.” Gerard shook his head and pulled his hand away from Frank to begin biting at his nails harshly. “I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of you. _Never_ in front of you.” Gerard could feel himself growing nervous again for some strange reason, his fingers twitching as they fell down to his lap. “You were – _are_ – too perfect. You’re so lovely and angelic and I am not worthy of being in your presence. I feel torn between touching you and keeping my hands away from you because you’re so _pure_ , Frankie, and I am _filthy_. Each time the pads of my fingers run over your beautiful skin, I am almost certain that I will see grime staining you in their wake. I feel like I’m tainting you, _corrupting_ you with each touch, but I just can’t bring myself to stop.” Gerard exhaled sharply and looked over Frank’s beautiful features, his heart constricting slightly as it always seemed to do each time he looked at the boy. “I had to watch you instead. I had to wait for the perfect moment to approach you. I had to wait until I was mentally prepared to speak to you again.”

Frank had his brows raised up incredulously as he listened carefully to Gerard’s explanation. He had never been called _pure_ before. He had never heard anyone speak of him like he was so important; like he was so _precious_. He felt his face heat up and his skin prickle as Gerard reached for his hand again. Why did Gerard think so highly of him? What gave Gerard the notion that he was such an amazing person, and why did Gerard think that he was so _filthy_? Frank didn’t think that he was that bad. Sure, Gerard kidnapped him, and even resorted to a little violence, but Frank had deserved it. Frank knew that he shouldn’t have acted out. It was his own fault. Right?

Frank bit down on his lip and gave the older man’s hand a light squeeze; a small smile appearing on his lips when the other man emitted a tiny noise of surprise. Frank noticed that he always seemed to be pleasantly surprised whenever he did anything in return to the man’s touches. The boy was slowly starting to enjoy it. “Did you ever…” Frank began slowly, a little afraid to actually finish asking the question that was beginning to burn in his mind.

“Did I ever…What, Frankie?” Gerard asked, tilting his head in curiosity.

“Did you ever watch me when I was at my house?” The boy finally got out as he flicked his gaze down to their hands.

Gerard shook his head, before he realized that Frank wasn’t watching him. “No, I didn’t.” He heard Frank give a sigh of relief at his response, but he hadn’t been finished. “Well…I didn’t watch you while you were home, but I did- um. I did _follow_ you there. But it’s not what you think.” The man added quickly when Frank looked up at him with a frown.

“Then what was it?” The younger of the two questioned.

“I just followed you because- because I needed to make sure that you got home safe.” Gerard explained. “I had to make sure that you were okay. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if something happened to you. But I left as soon as you got in your door.” Gerard shuffled closer to Frank until their legs were touching, and he felt the contact soothe him immensely. “You deserve to have privacy Frank. You deserved to have some time to yourself, no matter how badly I wanted to stay. I didn’t allow myself to do it. I loved you- _love_ you – so much. I knew that you would have wanted to have a safe haven. Someplace that was away from prying eyes.” He told the boy. Now that he had confessed that he loved him, he found that he was unable to keep himself from repeating it.

Frank was honestly a little surprised that Gerard only watched him to make sure that he got home safe, and that he left as soon as he made sure that he did. It was actually strangely _nice_ of him to do. “Really?” He found himself asking; still a little skeptic.

Gerard nodded quickly and cleared his throat. “Really.” He confirmed. “I am so glad that I did Frankie.”

“Why?” Frank asked curiously. “Why are you glad?”

Gerard looked over the boy in front of him, thinking back to that one night. “Because, Frank, one night there was someone that was after you.” He said lowly, the memory of that one man making his veins feel like they were pumping acid.

“W-what?” Frank asked before the other was able to elaborate. “What do you mean someone was after me, Gerard?”

Gerard sighed a little shakily and tightened his grip on the boy’s hand. “I followed you into this bar one night, you were hanging out with two guys, just enjoying yourself.” He gave a tiny smile as he remembered how happy Frank looked when he was spending time with his friends. “I stayed in the back of the bar. I watched your drink and made sure that no one would put anything in it. Thankfully no one did. But I remember looking around after a little while, and I noticed that there was a man. He kept staring right at you Frank. I could see in his eyes what he wanted from you.” Gerard gritted his teeth as his lips pulled up into a slight snarl. “I felt sick as I continued to watch him. I get jealous easily, I will admit that, but that’s not what was bothering me. I knew that he wasn’t a good person Frank. I could feel it so deeply. I know what bad people look like.” _They look like me_. Gerard thought briefly, before continuing.

“I noticed that he kept getting closer to you, and his eyes kept looking you up and down.” Frank was staring at Gerard intently as he was recounting the events of that night. “Then you got up. I remember hearing you tell your friends that you were just going to walk home instead of taking a ride from them. You said you wanted to feel the night air.” Gerard sighed heavily and stayed quiet for just a moment as he steadied himself. “The man followed you outside, so I followed _him_. I made sure to stay a safe distance, as I normally did, and I kept my eyes on him. It was when you started to get to the more quiet, darker side of town.” The side that Gerard was all too familiar with. “That I noticed the man pull something out of his pocket.”

“What was it?” Frank interrupted curiously, his doe eyes open wide.

“It was a knife, Frankie.” Gerard whispered. He could still see the glint of the blade in the moonlight, a pure rush of adrenaline had coursed through his system as soon as his eyes caught sight of it. “I knew he wanted to hurt you. I knew that he was going to try to—“ Gerard growled lowly and closed his eyes as he breathed slowly through his nose. “He began to close in on you. I knew you were too tipsy to really be aware of your surroundings, which is why I was there. I was there to protect you.”

Frank’s own breathing seemed to speed up at the mention of the weapon. Gerard seemed to be genuinely upset, and to be honest, Frank was beginning to feel a little anxious. Even though the events that the older man was describing had already passed, and he was currently sitting there safe and alive. “What did you do?”

Gerard shook his head; biting down harshly on his lip. “I got to him before he got to you.” He murmured, voice beginning to shake.

“What does that mean?” Frank quipped. “Did you fight him? Did you have a weapon too? How did you win?” He asked in quick succession.

Gerard didn’t want to tell Frank what he did to that man, but he knew that he had to tell him something. “I snuck up on him.” He began simply. “I managed to get the knife from him before he could turn around all the way, and I knocked him down to the ground. He fought back quite a bit, but I kept hitting him. I grabbed him and told him to leave you alone. I told him that he would regret it if he even _thought_ about you for one second.” Gerard flexed his fingers around Frank’s and sighed. “I warned him that I would find him if he tried anything again, and then I knocked him unconscious and left him slumped in a nearby alley.” For the most part, that had been true. The only thing that Gerard changed was the ending.

Gerard didn’t leave the man there. He could never do that. That man deserved to die. He was going to hurt Frank. He was going to hurt the only fucking thing that Gerard cared about. He couldn’t allow that. Instead of leaving him in an alley, Gerard managed to get the man back to his house, and he brought him down to his basement. That man had gotten tortured for _hours_. It was so fucking satisfying for Gerard to hurt him. He enjoyed every pained sound and each time that he writhed in torment. He needed to be certain that the man regretted even _looking_ at Frank. Frank belonged to _him_ , and _only_ him. That had to be one of Gerard’s favorite kill. It was so pleasing for him to know that he had been doing it to protect the object of his affection. It was the only kill that Gerard knew was for a good reason. He couldn’t imagine how he would have handled it if anything were to happen to Frank. He was certain that it would break him. Further than he already was.

Gerard could feel his heart rate speed up again as images of Frank’s face all covered in his own blood flashed across his mind. He began to feel nauseous; only calming down after he felt Frank squeeze his fingers. Frank was okay. Frank was sitting right there in front of him. He was safe now. “God, Frankie…I don’t know what I would have done if he had gotten to you.” He said as his voice wavered; moving his hand to card through the boy’s hair before moving down to stroke at his jaw. “I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t be a-able to h-handle it.” Gerard’s stutter surfaced as his voice began to crack; tears welling up in his eyes. Fuck, just the _thought_ of it was enough to mess him up.

A tiny hum was pulled from Frank’s throat at the gentle touches to his face, and he leaned into them. He pulled his brows together when Gerard began to become visibly upset, and he looked at the tears that were threatening to spill down the other’s face. “Hey, hey…” Frank whispered; moving to rest his own hands on Gerard’s shoulders and giving a light squeeze. “Look at me, Gee.”

 _Gee…_ Gerard hadn’t heard anyone call him that in _years._ At least…not since…No. He couldn’t think about that. Yet, even though Gerard tried to block out those memories, the feelings associated with them managed to flood through him, amplifying the crushing sense of hopelessness that he was already experiencing. Gerard choked out a small sob, quickly moving his hands to cover his face in shame. “Fuck.” He whimpered, tears soaking his fingers as they covered his eyes. He was normally able to keep those emotions in check – the ones of sadness at least – but Frank had always seemed to make Gerard lose his resolve.

Frank didn’t know what he did wrong, and he immediately felt terrible. “Fuck, Gerard. I’m sorry.” He said earnestly as he watched the man cry into his hands. He wasn’t used to seeing him like this. Gerard was always so _strong_. He was always so composed, even if he _was_ a little twitchy at times. Frank immediately hated it. “Gerard?” He murmured quietly, slowly wrapping his arms around the man’s torso and pulling him to rest against him. Sure, Frank was technically being held captive by the other man, but if it weren’t for him, then Frank might not be _alive_. It was a strange realization for him, but right then, he was only able to focus on comforting Gerard. “It’s okay, Gerard.” He cooed softly.

Gerard hiccupped embarrassedly as he quickly grasped to the front of the boy’s shirt. “I can’t deal with even the _thought_ of anything happening to you.” He didn’t want to tell Frank the _other_ reason why he was upset. So he just left it as that. He wasn’t supposed to be in that position. _He_ was the one that was supposed to be there to comfort _Frank_. It wasn’t supposed to be the other way around. But Gerard had already been worn down that day. He had gotten stabbed, and he had to deal with listening to Frank’s gut wrenching screams. He couldn’t decide which was worse. Not to mention it had been a while since he had actually killed someone, so Gerard was certain that it was also having an effect on his mental state. He knew that he was going to have to do it soon, just not yet.

“But nothing _did_ happen to me.” Frank reassured as he began to run his fingers soothingly through the short, white strands of the man’s hair. “I’m still here.” Frank didn’t know why he was being so kind to Gerard. He tried to convince himself that it was only because Gerard seemed to get more unstable when he was upset; more unpredictable, but Frank was beginning to believe that it wasn’t the only reason.

Gerard gave a small nod, burying his face in his chest and allowing himself a few moments to listen to Frank’s heartbeat. He loved the close contact that he was getting. He had always longed to be able to press himself so closely to the other without any protest. “I’m so glad you’re here.” He mumbled against Frank’s chest. “I’m so thankful that I have you with me.”

Frank only gave a small hum in return. He didn’t really know how he felt, and he didn’t want to offend Gerard by saying that he wasn’t glad that he was there, or lie to him and say that he _was_. He sighed deeply as he felt the older man shift, before a surprised squeak was pulled from him when Gerard suddenly pulled Frank to straddle his lap. It was completely unexpected, but Gerard seemed to need the contact. Even though it wasn’t exactly an _ideal_ position for Frank to be in with the other.

“God…” Gerard breathed softly, his face still buried in the other’s chest. “You’re so beautiful.” He praised. He knew that it was a little dangerous for Frank to be in his lap like that, but it just felt so nice. He needed to feel nice. He couldn’t deal with the feeling of sadness that was still shrouding him anymore. “I love you so much.”

Frank could feel his face heat up at the complements. It always seemed to fluster him in a bizarre way when he was told that he was loved by Gerard. “Thank you.” He nodded politely.

Gerard hummed low in his throat, slowly moving his head up to nuzzle against the boy’s neck. It felt good to press his face there, it felt _right_. “So so pretty…” He rasped, and he found himself unable to resist pressing his lips against the delicate skin.

Frank made a small noise as he felt the gentle sensation of Gerard’s soft lips against his throat, and he tried to pull back. “G-Gerard?” His voice sounded shrill as he spoke.

Gerard was seemingly unable to hear Frank; his mind almost clouded with the desire to continue pressing his lips to the other’s skin. It started with him only pressing feather light kisses, but after only a moment Gerard opened his mouth against the boy’s throat and began to suck gently.

“W-what are- _ah_.” Frank stammered out; interrupted when he felt the older man begin to suck on his skin. Frank hated to admit it, but it actually felt _good_. It began to feel even _better_ when he felt Gerard’s teeth nip at his neck, and Frank gave a tiny whimper at the sensation. God, this was wrong. Frank knew it was wrong. Gerard was his _kidnapper_ for fucks sake. He just hadn’t been with anyone in a while, that was it. Frank didn’t have any attraction towards the older man. He was just a little sex deprived…right? “Gerard- mnh- fuck. _Gerard_.” He said a little louder than before, and he began to nudge the man away from him.

Gerard was too enraptured by pleasure to really notice the way that other began to push at him. He gave a breathy moan against Frank’s skin and bit down again; his fingers beginning to grip at the boys hips as he pulled him closer. He kissed over where he nipped a little harshly, and moved one hand to tangle in the other’s hair to pull his head back to expose more skin. He couldn’t help but flatten his tongue against the boy’s throat and lick a thick stripe up the length of it, making Frank shiver.  

Frank groaned at the dull pain from Gerard pulling his hair; the sensation a lot different – more pleasurable – than the other times the man had done it. Most likely because of the circumstances. It didn’t make it any easier for him when Gerard began to kiss right below his ear, which happened to be the most sensitive place for him. “G-Gerard—“ Frank gave a tiny moan and struggled to push Gerard back again. He felt extremely frustrated that the other didn’t seem to be listening to him, so he cleared his throat to steady his voice, and tried again. “Gerard.” He said more sternly. “Gerard, stop.”

It took a moment, but Gerard finally began to come back down to reality, and he heard the other telling him to stop. God, he had to stop. He had to _stop_. “Shit.” He hissed; pulling back slowly and looking at Frank with dark eyes. His pupils were blown wide with lust; lips shining with saliva as he leaned back all the way. “Fuck, Frankie- God I’m so sorry. I don’t- I couldn’t—“ Gerard sighed loudly and began to lift Frank out of his lap; placing him down on the couch beside him. “I-I didn’t mean to let myself do that.” He didn’t know why he hadn’t been able to stop himself. God, now Frank was going to hate him. “P-please, Frank…I’m so fucking sorry.” He apologized profusely; looking down at the bruises already blossoming all over the other’s neck.

Frank stared at Gerard; his breathing heavy as he was moved. “It’s um…” Frank hesitated, glancing down at his hands in his lap before flicking his gaze back up. If he was honest, he hadn’t minded it as much as he knew that he should have, and the way that Gerard looked when he had pulled back from kissing him had actually stirred something deep inside of him. He had looked so _hungry_ for him. Frank looked down at his lips and saw that they were still slick with spit and he gave a small shudder. “It’s okay…I guess. I mean- It um…I just—“ Now it was _Frank_ that seemed to be having trouble with his speech. It had just disoriented him a little to feel something so pleasurable, even if it was _Gerard_ that had been doing it. “I’m not upset, or anything.” He said honestly, and bit down on his lip as he looked away from Gerard again.

Gerard ran a hand through his hair and exhaled noisily. “Are you- are you sure?” He asked. “I never meant to go that far.” The man promised as he scrubbed his hand down over his face and dropped it down to his lap.

Frank felt better to see that Gerard genuinely appeared to have remorse for doing that to him, even if he _had_ somewhat enjoyed it in a confusing sense. “I- um, yeah. Yeah, Gerard. I’m sure. Just…” Frank paused and traced his fingers over his throat, still feeling a trace of spit on his skin. A trace of _Gerard’s_ spit. “I don’t know…”

Gerard shifted away from Frank some more to give him some space, and nodded. “I promise I will refrain from doing that again. I just- I had a moment of weakness.” He sighed, looking down at his lap as he silently berated himself.

Frank nodded in understanding; his eyes landing on the gap that the other had created between them on the couch. “It’s okay, Gerard.” He scooted closer to Gerard and reached for his hand. Even though Gerard had basically attacked his neck with his mouth, Frank still didn’t want him to move away from him. He needed to be close with someone after being alone in the basement for so long. He didn’t get that whenever it happened when he was a kid. His mother only took enough time to take him to the hospital for his broken leg, but after that, she continued on as though nothing happened. They couldn’t afford for her to miss any days of work. She didn’t stay with him and comfort him. Not long enough for Frank anyway.

Gerard looked down at Frank’s hand that was gripping his own, and he felt tiny sparks run up his spine. A smile graced his features as he looked back up at the young man. “I love you.” He found himself saying again. He didn’t think he was ever going to stop. Frank only smiled and gave a small nod in return. It was enough for Gerard. He knew that Frank would say It back eventually.

They stayed like that for a few minutes longer; just sitting in silence together. Eventually, the events of the day began to have an effect on Frank, and he started to feel exhausted. He leaned down and rested his head on Gerard’s shoulder. It was so fucking amazing to Gerard that Frank was acting so sweet to him. He no longer seemed to hate him. It was very good progress. When he heard Frank yawn, Gerard looked down at him. “Are you getting tired?” He asked.

A small hum came from the boy, and he nodded. “Mm, yeah.” Frank said tiredly. This time he didn’t see the point in lying like he had the night before. He just wanted to go to sleep, and Gerard’s extremely comfortable bed seemed to be calling out to him.

Gerard gave a tiny chuckle and nudged Frank off of him gently. “Okay, Darling. Let’s go ahead and get you up to bed.”

Frank groaned at the idea of having to get up, but he knew that soon he would be lying down so it was worth it. He was slowly getting used to the pet names that Gerard called him. They didn’t make him feel weird like they used to. Instead, they made his stomach flutter a little pleasantly. He ignored it though. He still wasn’t certain that he liked the effect that the older man had on him. “’kay.” He mumbled and pushed himself up from the couch.

Gerard watched as Frank arched his back and stretched his arms over his head; his eyes falling down to the skin that was exposed from the shirt riding up. It was the second time that it made Gerard have the urge to push his hands up under the fabric and run his fingers over his skin. Of course, he resisted it. He didn’t want to make Frank uncomfortable _again_. Instead, Gerard stood up as well and rested his hand over the small of the boy’s back. “Come on then.” He spoke softly, and began to guide him in the direction of the hallway.

Frank felt a shiver run up his spine at the touch to his back. He wasn’t able to tell if it was because he enjoyed the contact, or if it made him uncomfortable. He began to walk beside Gerard and glanced up at him. He didn’t understand how Gerard looked so normal, yet he was capable of kidnapping him. Sure, Gerard had pretty much saved him from getting attacked by that man, but that didn’t mean that he had to go and kidnap him. God. He didn’t know what to think anymore. Gerard didn’t really seem like such a terrible person, but he was still being kept away from his family and his friends because of him. It was really putting a strain on him and his mental state. Gerard was slowly driving him crazy.

Frank didn’t realize he had still been looking at the other man, until he looked back down at him with a gentle smile poised on his lips. Frank was beginning to like that smile, and he averted his gaze shyly. He hated himself. He couldn’t stand that the hatred that he had for Gerard was slowly fading away. He couldn’t wait to go to sleep and forget about everything for awhile. He needed to just…not exist for a few hours, and sleeping was the only way that he knew how to sort of achieve that.

Gerard moved his hand away from the other’s back and wrapped it around his waist to pull him closer. Frank hitched his breathing slightly at the close contact, but he allowed it to continue without any protest.  Gerard was pretty tired as well, so the prospect of sleeping again was extremely appealing. He was thinking about making Frank use the cuff again, but he was leaning towards letting him sleep without it. “Frankie?” He asked to get the boy’s attention.

Frank looked up at Gerard curiously as they began to walk up the stairs. “Yeah?”

“I’m thinking about letting you sleep without the cuff tonight…” Gerard breathed in through his nose and rubbed his fingers up and down Frank’s side. “Can I trust that you will behave?” He questioned; holding the boy’s gaze intensely.

“Yes.” Frank was actually pretty excited that he might get to sleep without that thing causing him more pain. That’s all he cared about in that moment. It didn’t even occur to him that he wasn’t even _thinking_ about trying to escape. “I promise to be good.” He swore.

Gerard smiled warmly and gave Frank a gentle squeeze. “Thank you, Frankie.” He murmured as they reached his bedroom door. “I wont make you wear it tonight, but if you try anything…” Gerard raised his eyebrow as they passed the doorway, and he flicked the light on before shutting the door behind them. “I won’t hesitate to make you wear it again.”

“Okay.” Frank murmured, already making his way to his side of the bed. Fuck… _his_ side of the bed. He shouldn’t be thinking about it like that.

Gerard hummed softly and began to tug his shirt over his head; discarding it into the corner. “Good.”

Frank’s eyes trailed over Gerard’s bare torso; the memory of the way Gerard’s tongue felt on his throat flashing briefly in his mind. He shuddered slightly and repressed those thoughts the best he was able to. It was easy to forget about it when the room suddenly went dark. Apparently Gerard had turned the light of when he was…distracted. He didn’t like that it was dark. It made it feel like he was back in the basement again. He gasped quietly when he felt the bed dip down unexpectedly and he whimpered at the slight shock of it.

Gerard furrowed his brow at the noise and he shuffled closely to Frank. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked as he gently rested a hand over the boy’s shoulder.

Frank jumped at the contact and turned to face Gerard. He could just barely make him out in the faint moonlight that was filtering in through the curtains. “Y-yeah-“ He cleared his throat and nodded. “I-I’m okay…It’s just- um, it’s just dark in here.”

Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank’s waist and pulled him against him. “Do you want me to turn a lamp on, darling?” He offered.

Frank didn’t try to stop himself from leaning forward and pressing his face against the other’s bare chest. Frank noticed that his skin was surprisingly soft. He felt a lot better since Gerard was now holding him. He knew that Gerard would protect him. He already had protected him before. “No, that’s okay…Just- can you hold me until I go to sleep?” Frank asked shyly after a few moments of silence.

Gerard grinned brightly and nodded fervently. “You don’t even have to ask.” Gerard couldn’t believe that he was finally able to hold Frank in his arms while he went to sleep. “I love you so much, okay?”

Frank only gave Gerard a squeeze to let him know that he understood, and he nuzzled in closely. He never knew that he would feel so safe in his kidnappers arms. He never would have even thought that he would willingly fall asleep like that, but he did. He fell asleep a lot faster than he normally did, and Gerard followed after him quickly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is beginning to come to terms with the situation he's in, before the situation suddenly changes.

Pale fingers gripped at Frank’s hips, pulling him closer as a tongue pressed against his skin. Images of white hair and piercing, hazel eyes flashed across his mind. “Fuck, Frankie…” A familiar voice moaned in his ear. Frank could feel his skin prickling in pleasure and his hips twitching forward as he tried to feel  _more_ . “Yeah, baby, you feel so  _good_ .” Frank furrowed his brow as he tried to remember who that deliciously sinful voice belonged to. There was a sudden sensation of someone wrapping their fingers around his cock and he bucked up into the touch.  

“O-oh god,  _Gerard_ .” Frank moaned softly. 

Frank jerked awake as soon as that name slipped past his lips, his heart hammering quickly in his chest. It took him a moment to realize that he was still pressed closely to Gerard. The older man’s face was buried in his neck and his warm breath ghosting over his sensitive skin each time he exhaled. He furrowed his brow as he tried to remember exactly  _what_ had just occurred in his subconscious. It didn’t take him long to be reminded as Gerard suddenly shifted his leg and pushed it between his thighs, brushing it against his very prominent erection. A tiny gasp was pulled from his lips at the sensation.  

The feeling of pleasure that shot through him made him remember exactly  _why_ he had woken up with Gerard’s name spilling from his mouth and he groaned inwardly. Frank felt his stomach drop in shame as he realized what had just happened.  He had just had a fucking  _wet dream_ about his  _kidnapper_ . Frank definitely didn’t want Gerard like that. At the most, he would only want Gerard as an acquaintance and even  _that_ was stretching it. He tried to convince himself that the dream was only a result of his sex-deprived mind. That it had only substituted Gerard into his subconscious because he was the person he had been around lately. Part of him wasn’t so sure that that was the only reason.  

When Gerard shifted his leg again, Frank realized that he really needed to go to the bathroom so he could take care of his little ‘problem’ but it would be difficult to do with how tightly Gerard was holding onto him. Even in his sleep, Gerard still seemed to do anything he could to stay close to the boy. Frank carefully shifted and tried to pull away from the sleeping man but he froze when the other began to rouse slightly.  

“Frankie?” Gerard mumbled sleepily as he felt movement. “You okay?”  

Frank could feel Gerard’s lips moving against his throat as he spoke and he felt ashamed as the sensation made his cock twitch. He really hoped that Gerard hadn’t noticed how it was pressing against his thigh. “Yeah.” He assured the other. “I’m fine. I just…I have to use the restroom.”  

Luckily for Frank, Gerard’s mind had been too groggy with sleep to really notice the obvious erection that the boy had, so he just nodded tiredly. “Mm, okay Frankie....” He sighed with a happy smile as he released his tight grip that was around the other’s waist. “Just come back when you’re done.” He murmured and leaned forward to give Frank’s shoulder a little affectionate peck before lying back down against the pillow. 

Frank found himself smiling shyly before he could stop it. “I will.” He promised, and pushed himself off of the mattress carefully. He was so fucking grateful that Gerard didn’t notice the effects his hormones were having on his teenage body. He quickly padded to the restroom, he shut the door behind him and glanced around. He briefly thought about just jerking off and cleaning himself off with the toilet paper but he was too paranoid about Gerard finding the evidence of what he did. He was sure that Gerard didn’t just go digging in his own trashcan. However, that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t accidentally knock it over and his used tissues wouldn’t spill out into the floor.  

After a few moments of debating it, Frank decided that it would be best if he just took a shower instead. The only problem was that he hadn’t asked Gerard if it would be okay for him to do so. He was sure that Gerard wouldn’t mind. He seemed to want to make Frank as comfortable as possible. But Frank didn’t want to risk it. He didn’t want to have to worry about Gerard getting angry at him for not asking. He walked back to the door with a sigh and waited a few moments before opening it and peeking out at the sleeping figure. “Gerard?” He called out softly, making sure that the lower half of him was covered by the door so Gerard wouldn’t see his embarrassing problem. 

Gerard furrowed his brow as a voice broke through his sleep-heavy conscious and he gave a sleepy grunt. “Hm?” He mumbled; rolling over onto his back and propping himself up. “Yeah?”  

Frank couldn’t suppress his smile from looking at how Gerard’s hair was sticking up wildly in certain places, making him look a lot less menacing than he normally did. “I was just wondering if it would be okay with you if I took a shower?” He asked shyly and looked down at the floor. He felt a little awkward with looking at the other man. Mostly because his erection was technically the result of what he had done with that him in his dream. He didn’t really remember the specifics of what had happened; all he remembered were flashes of Gerard’s pale skin and slender fingers touching him in all the right – or  _wrong_ , depending on how you looked at it – places. “I-I’m sorry I woke you, I just wanted t-to make sure that you didn’t mind.” 

Gerard gave a warm smile to the boy. He wouldn’t have had a problem if Frank had taken a shower without asking, but it had meant a lot to him that he had. It meant that Frank was learning. That he was figuring out how to behave properly. “Of course I don’t mind, Frankie.” He answered, and Frank hated that he liked how Gerard’s voice sounded thick and gravely from sleep. “It doesn’t bother me if you wake me up if you need something. It’s what I’m here for.” He assured. “Oh, and thank you for asking me.” Gerard added. 

Frank looked up at the other with a timid smile and gave him a nod. “You’re welcome, and thank you for letting me shower.” He said politely. He waited for Gerard to respond with a hum before he gave the older man a small wave and shut the door again. “Finally…” He breathed out under his breath. He made quick work of tugging his shirt off over his head and tossing it to the floor. He shucked his pants down hurriedly but was careful when he began to tug his boxers down. His erection finally sprung free, the cold air brushing over his heated skin and making him bite down on his lower lip harshly as he gave himself a gentle squeeze.  

As he began to step towards the shower, Frank caught sight of his reflection out of the corner of his eye and he stopped to look at it curiously. As he looked closer, he noticed something on his neck. “What the hell…?” Frank mumbled as he tilted his head back to so he could see his throat better and his eyes scanned over what appeared to be multiple dark bruises on his skin. As he brought his fingers to trace over them, his mind flashed back to Gerard’s mouth on his throat and he gasped quietly. “Holy fuck.” He whispered unbelievingly. He hadn’t known that Gerard had actually left  _marks_. As he pressed down on them, he felt his cock twitch with interest. The memory of how _tightly_ Gerard had gripped at his hips to pull him closer as he nipped at his delicate skin flooded Frank’s brain. Along with the way it had felt when the other’s fingers tugged at the hairs at the base of his head.  

He hated that he wasn’t able to stop those memories from becoming so prominent. Even more than that, he hated the fact that those memories weren’t completely unpleasant for him. “God, Iero. What the fuck?” He groaned at himself in shame and flickered his gaze back to his reflection. He wondered what Gerard thought of the marks he made. Did he like the way that they looked on him? Frank scrubbed a hand over his face and shook those thoughts away. He shouldn’t care if Gerard liked them or not.  

Frank finally began to step into the shower after a moment longer of staring at himself, and turned the water on warm. As he stood under the spray for a few seconds, he couldn’t believe that he was going to have to touch himself with Gerard just in the other room. He had never been too good at staying quiet when he jerked off because he never really had to be. His mom was never really home and his dad was out at some bar or passed out drunk on the couch. So it was pretty much heaven for a hormonal teenager. But now he had Gerard to worry about. He didn’t know exactly how well Gerard would be able to hear him, but he hoped that the sound of the shower would help muffle his noises.  

Steadying himself, Frank reached down between his legs and wrapped his fingers around his aching cock. He already had to stifle a moan and he braced himself against the tiled wall as his legs started to feel weak from the pleasure. “A-ah,  _fuck_ .” Frank whispered harshly as he began to stroke himself. It felt almost unbelievable to finally get friction. He was surprised that he had been able to go so long without jerking off.  He would normally do it nearly every night, sometimes even  _multiple_ times a night.  

He could tell that he wasn’t going to be able to last long already. Having waited so long made him much more sensitive to his own touches, and he threw his head back as he bucked into his closed fist. For the most part, he was able to keep his mind blank of anything and only focused on flicking his wrist quickly. But sometimes his thoughts flickered briefly to the memory of his dream. Gerard’s gaze had been so _piercing_ , so absolutely  _feral_ . Frank could feel heat spark through him pleasurably and he didn’t have the conscience in that moment to feel wrong about it. He thought back to the bruises on his neck. Or how when Gerard had bit at his skin a little too harshly, he would lick and kiss over it.  

Slowly, as Frank quickened the pace of his strokes, he trailed his hand up to his throat and began to press on the bruises. Shocks of pleasure were sent straight to his gut as the pressure resulted in a dull pain. “O-oh, god.” Frank suddenly moaned a little loudly.  

Gerard woke up slowly as he heard something come from the bathroom. He was a little startled when the bed was empty. As soon as he registered that the shower was running in the other room, he remembered the previous conversation that he had had with the boy and he relaxed. The relaxation was short lived as the pain he usually felt inside of him began to swell and become more noticeable. But this time it seemed to become more amplified than it normally did. It came quicker and more brutal than he was used to. ”Fuck.” He groaned lowly and curled into himself. It took him a moment of wondering why it felt so intense when he had a realization. It had to have been because he hadn’t actually killed anyone in so long. Well, it had really only been a little over a month. He hadn’t killed anyone a few weeks before he took Frank and now that Frank was actually  _with_ him, he didn’t have the time to find a new victim.  

It wasn’t fucking fair. He just wanted to be able to spend time with Frank without the pain eating him up inside. It’s not that he didn’t  _enjoy_ killing. He did very much. He just wished that it didn’t have to hurt so bad when he went without it.  

God, it fucking  _hurt_ . He felt like someone was branding his intestines with a metal rod. Gerard bit down on his pillow and began to claw at his stomach as though that would be able to stop whatever it was that was hurting him. Even though he was hurting quite a bit, he knew that he couldn’t lay in bed all day, no matter how much he wanted to. He had to be there to take care of and spend time with Frank. Fuck, he needed to go down to his kitchen and find some pain pills. They didn’t really work well but he was willing to see if they would take the edge off. After a moment of gathering the strength, Gerard finally forced himself off of the bed with a whimper and made his way to the bathroom door to tell Frank where he was going. 

Frank was getting so close. He could feel the heat of his orgasm beginning to build up in his lower stomach when he was suddenly startled by a knock on the door. He quickly removed his hands from himself and turned the water off so he could hear. 

“Hey, Frankie?” He heard Gerard question through the door.  

Frank cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t believe that he had actually gotten interrupted by the man he had been thinking about. Wait… had Frank been thinking about him? Frank looked down at himself in disgust and then answered Gerard. “Y-yeah?” He replied shakily as he resisted the urge to touch himself some more.  

Gerard grunted in pain and slumped to rest against the door before he began to speak again. “I’m letting you know that I’m going to go downstairs; I want you to come down there as soon as you get out.” He instructed. He really didn’t feel good enough to ask him politely.  

Something about the tone of the older man’s voice made Frank shiver. It sounded colder and more controlling than it normally did. He hated that it had an effect on him. “Y-yes, sir.” He stammered as he began to touch himself again, unable to hold off anymore.  

Hearing Frank call him ‘sir’ made him feel better for a brief moment. Something about it made him feel more in control, more  _dominant_ . “Good boy.” He hummed with a smirk before wincing as the pain returned.  

Frank had already brought himself back to the edge within a few seconds of stroking himself and pressing his thumb over the slit with each upward twist. He stuttered out a weak moan once the praise from Gerard reached his ears. Gerard had sounded so pleased and authoritative as he called him that. The tone of voice caused his strokes to falter from pleasure, and he arched his back as he could feel his orgasm coiling in his abdomen rapidly. “O-oh, f-fuck—“ He panted, and came suddenly over his fist. The pleasure seemed to rip through him almost violently, making him curl into himself as he rode it out.  

Gerard furrowed his brow in confusion when he heard Frank say something, and he pressed himself closer to the door. “Frankie? Are you okay?” He asked with concern. Even though he was in an extreme amount of pain, he still needed to make sure that the boy was okay. 

_Shit._ Frank had somehow managed to forget that Gerard was right on the other side of the door while he was stuck in his haze from his orgasm. He felt his face heat up with embarrassment and he grimaced at his sticky hand. If only the water had still been going. “Yeah—” His voice sounded a little wrecked, so he cleared his throat before trying again. “Yeah, I’m fine…I just…” He didn’t really have a good excuse and he didn’t even  _know_ what all Gerard had actually heard. “I’m okay.” Frank hoped that it was a sufficient enough answer for the other man.  

Gerard gave a slight nod before he remembered that Frank couldn’t see him. “Okay, good. Go ahead and finish your shower. I’m going downstairs now.” Gerard replied. He began to grit his teeth as more pain crashed over him and he clutched at his stomach harshly. He didn’t wait for the boy’s response before making his way out of the room so he could go find some medicine. 

“Okay.” Frank answered back before he started the shower again so he could wash himself off. God, he felt so fucking  _disgusting_ . He couldn’t believe what he had just done. Not only did he jerk off while thinking about Gerard – the man that had kidnapped him and basically tortured him mentally by throwing him in a basement – but he also fucking  _came_ while he was talking to him. Just because he had called him a good boy. Frank was so furious at himself. He should have been able to hold off, or  _at least_ think about someone  _other_ than Gerard. He didn’t even _like_ Gerard like that…right? He was certain that he didn’t. Sure, he had fucking came to the thought of him, but…it had to be because Gerard was just making him a little crazy by keeping him there against his will.  

Fuck. That wasn’t true at all, and Frank knew it. He knew that deep down he had to be attracted to Gerard a little. Okay, more than a little. But it sure as hell didn’t mean that he wanted to do anything about it. The most he was willing to do was just jerk off secretly and call it a night. He never wanted to actually  _do_   anything  _with_   him. Frank groaned and slammed his head back against the wall in frustration, wincing when it caused the back of his skull to throb. “Shit.” He grunted in pain. The world really seemed to be against him.  

After a few more minutes of standing in the shower, Frank finally managed to wash everything – including his hair – and he turned the water off. He stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel to wrap around himself, glancing around the bathroom. He was a little thankful that the mirror was too covered in steam for him to really be able to see his reflection. He didn’t want to see himself after what he had done. God, how was he supposed to go downstairs and face Gerard now? He was almost convinced that as soon as the other man saw him, he would just be able to  _tell_ what he had done. Gerard seemed to notice everything about him. It was probably since he watched him for over a whole fucking year. Frank couldn’t believe that the knowledge of that didn’t seem to phase him like he knew it should have.  

. 

Gerard had just managed to stagger back to the living room after he took some pain medication, and collapsed on the couch. He groaned lowly in his throat as his pain throbbed through his limbs. Gerard knew that the pills weren’t going to work. He knew that the pain was still going to bleed through the medication and eat him alive. They were useless and he didn’t know why he even  _had_ them. Each time he took them he always hoped that maybe they would help just this once, but that was never true. They never worked as good as Frank did. Frank was the only thing other than killing that managed to make the pain dissipate into something that was much more manageable than what he was feeling. God, he needed Frank so bad right then. He needed to press himself against him and feel the relief that always washed over him with the contact. 

He couldn’t think about how much he needed Frank there with him, it only caused him to hurt more. It didn’t even matter that the boy was just up the stairs. Even though he knew that he would be coming down there soon, he still found the small amount of distance between them agonizing. “Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck.” Gerard gritted out through his teeth as he curled into himself even tighter. He wrapped his arms around himself, almost as if he were trying to shield himself from whatever was causing him pain. It was a fruitless attempt since the pain was coming from the inside.  

. 

Frank stepped out of the restroom after he was dried off most of the way with a towel still hanging from his hips and he realized he didn’t really have any clothes to change into. He thought about going through Gerard’s clothes and seeing if he could find something that would fit him but he didn’t want Gerard to get upset with him for doing that. Frank sat down on the bed with a sigh as he tried to think of what to do when he saw that his pants were still piled on the floor in the corner of the room from the first night he stayed there. He had only worn them for one day before he took them off and normally he tended to wear the same jeans for a couple of days in a row, so the idea of just putting them on again didn’t really bother him.  He stepped over to them after a moment and began to slip them onto his legs. It was only slightly difficult to do since his legs were still a little damp from the shower, but he managed to get them on with little struggle. He went ahead and put on his own shirt as well and even though the clothes were dirty, it felt nice to wear something that actually belonged to him.  

After he was dressed and he dried his hair off a little bit more with the towel, Frank began to make his way out of the room. He padded down the stairs quietly as he glanced around, looking over the walls and just taking everything in as he walked in the direction of the living room. He briefly thought about how he really needed to actually explore the house more because it was pretty big. Frank hadn’t really gotten a chance to do so in the time that he spend there since he was always around Gerard. When he finally reached the large main room, he noticed that Gerard was curled up on the couch and was mumbling to himself. “…Gerard?” He asked quietly as he stood in the entryway.  

Gerard felt a small jolt of relief just from hearing the younger one’s voice and he managed to push himself up so he could look at him. “Y-yeah, Frankie?” He mumbled as he scrubbed a shaking hand over his face. When his eyes were finally able to scan over the boy, he felt almost awestruck. Each time he looked at Frank he somehow managed to look more and more beautiful. He didn’t even know how that was  _possible_ . Fuck, he needed Frank. He needed to get closer to him. 

Frank watched with an almost concerned gaze as Gerard stood up from the couch. “Are you okay?” He questioned as the older man began to stagger towards him. He grew more anxious when Gerard didn’t answer him. He only stayed quiet as he just continued to step closer to him, making Frank back up against the wall. Shit, did Gerard know what he had done? Had he figured out that he had jerked off in the shower? He wouldn’t get mad about that…right? God, what if he did? Gerard tended to be a little strange, and maybe it was an unspoken rule that Frank wasn’t allowed to do that. He was thinking too much into it. “Gerard?” Frank asked again when he stopped only a few inches away from him. He was looking down at him intensely, towering over him. He still wasn’t answering him and Frank was beginning to actually get worried.  

Gerard was breathing shallowly as he trailed his eyes over the boy’s face and he winced as another shock of pain coursed through him. His hand moved to brace himself against the wall beside Frank’s head as he began to feel weaker and he needed something to lean against for support. As he looked over Frank, his gaze hitched onto the dark bruises on his neck. The bruises that  _he_ made. Gerard carefully used his other hand to trace over them, the pad of his fingertips dragging delicately over the darkened skin. He didn’t miss the way that it made Frank emit a small whimper.  

He darted his eyes up to Frank’s pupils blown wide as he looked down at him. That sound made the pain lessen slightly for a tiny moment and he wanted to hear it again. Gerard carefully pressed down on them again and Frank was completely unable to stop a weak moan from leaving his mouth. “Gerard,” He whispered gently and unconsciously tilted his head back. He had no idea of what was happening. “What are you doing…?”  

Gerard pressed down one more time. He wasn’t able to stop his impulses from controlling him at that moment. He felt too weak from the pain. “I don’t… know…” Gerard finally replied before his gaze dropped down to the boy’s lips. They looked so enticing. It was almost as if they were begging for Gerard to kiss them. “ _Fuck_.” He gritted out as some more pain swelled inside of him. He needed relief. He couldn’t take the pain anymore. He looked down at Frank one more time and sighed shakily. “God, I’m sorry.” He mumbled, before surging forwards. 

Frank wasn’t given any time to react before he suddenly felt the pressure of Gerard’s lips pressing against his own. A small noise was forced from him in surprise and his hands flew up to grasp at the front of the other man’s shirt. Even though Frank wasn’t kissing back, Gerard couldn’t bring himself to stop at all. The feeling of moving his lips against Frank’s soft mouth was sending waves of relief crashing over him. The intense pain that was curling inside of him was beginning to dissipate into nearly nothing. It was pure bliss. It was everything Gerard had ever imagined, and  _more_ .  

Frank heard Gerard give a tiny moan, the sound stirring something deep inside of him. Without even  _t_ _hinking_ about it, Frank’s lips parted open and Gerard took advantage of it. He slipped his tongue past his lips and began to lick into the younger man’s mouth, tasting him for the first time. Gerard had been waiting; he had been holding himself back from kissing Frank for so damn long. Ever since he saw him that one night in the rain a year and three months ago it was all he wanted. The fact that Frank wasn’t pushing him away only spurred him on to continue. He moved one of his hands to grip at the hair at the base of Frank’s head to deepen the kiss, as he used his other hand to grasp tightly at the boy’s hip as he pulled him closer.  

Frank finally began to come to his senses when he felt Gerard pull him closer, and he started to push at Gerard’s chest. He couldn’t be kissing him. He shouldn’t have even allowed for it to continue for as long as it  _had_ . Gerard took a moment to actually stop, and he pulled back, their lips pulling apart with a soft noise. His eyes were dark and pupils blown with lust and hunger as he scanned over Frank’s face.  

They both stood there for a second. Their breathing came out in harsh pants as they stared at each other deeply, both wondering what the other was thinking. Frank was shocked. Not only at Gerard but at _himself_ . He couldn’t believe that he had actually allowed it to go on for so long. He should have pushed Gerard away as soon as he realized what was happening.  

“…I’m sorry.” Gerard mumbled softly and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He hadn’t really meant to do that. He had just wanted to pull Frank into a hug or something simple. But the pain…it was too much. It was the only way that he knew would give him any real relief.  

Frank glanced down at Gerard’s hand that was still gripping his waist and he began to chew on his lower lip. He didn’t exactly know what to say to Gerard. He felt ashamed of himself that he actually enjoyed the kiss a little bit. Hell, it was  _more_ than a little bit. When he looked back up at the older man, he could see his eyes were filled with want but his gaze was laced with an emotion that could only be described as remorse. Had he honestly felt bad for doing that? God, Gerard was so fucking strange. “It’s um…It’s okay, Gerard.” Frank reassured the older man with a shaky sigh. He didn’t know what else to say really. “W-why did you do it, though…?” Frank found himself asking without really meaning to. 

Gerard hadn’t been expecting that question. There were way too many reasons why he would kiss Frank for him to actually explain it. “I felt like I had to.” He answered simply as his hand dropped from the other’s waist, and he sighed heavily. “I just- you were-“ Gerard gave an irritated huff since he wasn’t able to actually formulate a proper sentence. He scrubbed his hand over his face before trying again. “You know how I told you that I get this pain?” Gerard asked so he could sort of attempt to explain it. 

Frank looked at Gerard intently and furrowed his brow. “Yeah…What about it?”  

“It’s really fucking bad right now.” Gerard told Frank. “Well, it’s not as bad  _now._ ” He said with a little shy laugh. “But a few minutes ago it was fucking  _unbearable_. I was on the verge of passing out from it, but even if I _did_ pass out, the pain would probably just wake me up again.” He explained, before daringly running his hand through Frank’s hair; smiling when the boy didn’t flinch like he used to.  

“Why was it so bad?” Frank asked curiously; ignoring the way that he felt shivers run through him as Gerard’s fingers tangled in his hair. “How is it not as bad  _anymore_ ? Wait…” He murmured and raised his eyebrows. “Did  _I_ make it better?” Frank had remembered Gerard telling him how he made the pain better, but he was still a little skeptical about that.  

Gerard gave a gentle smile to Frank and nodded. “Yes, you did make it better. You  _always_ do.” He said softly, skipping over the first question since he didn’t want to explain his murderous habits to the other. “I always feel better when I’m around you, but since the pain was so bad, just simple physical contact wasn’t enough. I normally would have stopped myself, but God, Frankie, it was too much for me to be able to control myself completely. I knew I shouldn’t have kissed you, but it was too tempting.” Gerard shook his head at himself as he trailed his hand down to cup Frank’s face. “I really am sorry I wasn’t able to stop myself.” He really did feel fucking terrible. He had always wanted Frank to  _want_ to kiss him, not to feel like he was being forced to.  

Frank bit down on his lip and subconsciously tilted his head into the touch. It was just so strange to him that Gerard had such strong pains, not to mention that _he_ seemed to be the thing that helped stop it. Or at least  make it a little better. He didn’t know how that was fucking possible. Why did Gerard have to gravitate towards  _him_? Why did Frank make it better and not anyone else? “It’s okay, I understand.” Frank said with an attempt at a reassuring smile. He honestly still didn’t understand it completely, but he didn’t want to make Gerard feel bad. Fuck, what was wrong with him? Just a few days ago Frank would have wanted Gerard to be fucking  _miserable_. He glanced up at Gerard again and realized that he needed to get out from in between him and the wall before something else happened that he would have to deal with. “Lets go sit down.” He said in almost a whisper. Then impulsively, as he sidestepped away from Gerard, he leaned upwards and pressed his lips against his cheek gently, before quickly walking over to the couch with a shocked expression upon his features.  

Gerard was wearing the same expression on his face as he stared down where the younger man had been previously standing. He lifted his hand to brush his fingertips so carefully over his cheek where he had felt Frank’s lips, as if he were to put any more pressure to it then the reality around him would shatter and reveal that it was all a delusion. He could feel his blood rushing through his veins and his limbs began to feel like static. Not in the way that they felt when they were asleep, but in a warm, fuzzy way that was absolutely marvelous. He felt shrouded in pure ecstasy as he bit down on his lip and scratched at the back of his neck. The pain that was normally a hurricane inside of him, was now only a small drizzle, and Gerard couldn’t believe it. He never would have expected Frank to be the one to initiate any form of affection towards him. It almost made it better than the first kiss. 

Frank fixed his face to look much less surprised by the time Gerard finally turned around and faced him. He avoided eye contact shyly as he heard the other man began to walk slowly to the couch and he felt him sit down. Frank only looked up when he heard him clear his throat and he wasn’t surprised to see that Gerard’s face looked slightly flushed and he was certain that his was. “Um, so- yeah…do you want to like- I don’t know, watch TV then?” Frank heard Gerard stammer out. 

Frank cleared his throat as well and shifted to get a little more comfortable. “Yeah, sure. That sounds cool.” He gave a tiny shrug and looked down at his hands. It would have been much better for him if he had just left it at Gerard being the one to kiss him. That way both he and Gerard could write it off as it only being  _Gerard_  that had wanted to do that. Now that Frank had returned a small sign of affection, he was worried that the older man might expect more. He didn’t exactly know how he felt about that. God, Frank used to be so c _ertain_ about things. He used to know exactly what he wanted and how he wanted it. Now Gerard had gotten inside of his head and screwed it all up. It was starting to piss him off.  

Gerard nodded leaned forward towards the coffee table to grab the remote. When he leaned back against the couch, he subtly sat himself closer to Frank and moved his arm to rest along the back of the cushions. He flicked the tv on after a few moments and glanced down at the boy again. “Is there anything in particular that you would like to watch?” He asked softly. 

Frank pulled into himself a little when he realized that Gerard’s arm was just a few inches away from resting on his shoulders and he quirked his eyebrows up slightly. “Um…I don’t really have anything in mind.” He said before looking up at Gerard. He looked away quickly when he noticed that it brought their faces extremely close and he began to chew on his lower lip. To be honest, Frank was getting tired of just sitting on the couch all day and watching television. He never thought that he would be able to say that, but it was true. He wanted to do something else. Something that didn’t involve just sitting there. “Actually…” Frank mumbled and risked glancing back up at Gerard with a hopeful gaze. “I was wondering if we could do something other than watch TV.”  

Gerard removed his arm from the top of the couch, and tilted his body to face Frank more. “What do you have in mind?” He didn’t really know what all he could do with Frank since he couldn’t really take him out of the house.  

Frank gave a tiny shrug and glanced around the room as he thought about anything. He could already tell that Gerard wasn’t going to let him leave to go anywhere. “I don’t know…maybe you could just take me around the house and show me everything?” He suggested. “I haven’t really seen much of it and it would give me an excuse to actually walk around.” He breathed a small laugh.  

Gerard lit up slightly when Frank mentioned getting shown the house. He didn’t know why he hadn’t done that yet. “Oh, that’s a good idea.” He chirped and gave Frank’s thigh a pat before standing up. “Come on then, sugar.” Gerard smiled as he began to tug Frank up eagerly. “Let me give you the grand tour of our home.” 

Frank didn’t even realize until after he was already getting dragged out of the room that Gerard had said  _our_ home. He didn’t understand why it made his stomach give a delicate swoop at the thought of this place being his as well. It must have been because he had always lived in a smaller house that was a little run down and the prospect of getting to have such a huge home that seemed a little lavish was kind of nice. In a fantasy, dreamlike sort of way. Not in reality. Frank knew that this place wasn’t his home. He knew that he had to get back to his _real_ home soon. He was brought out of his thoughts when he felt something squeeze at his fingers, and he realized that Gerard was still holding his hand.  

“I’ll show you the library first since it’s the closest room and also one of my favorites.” Gerard said with a wide smile, showing off his teeth and pulling Frank a little closer.  

Frank raised his eyebrows. “You have an  _actual_ library?” He scoffed a little disbelievingly and allowed himself to be tugged closer. He realized that contact with Gerard wasn’t exactly as unpleasant as he had initially thought it was.  

Gerard made a small hum and nodded. “Yes, I have an  _actual_ library, Frankie.” He confirmed. “It’s not huge, but it’s a pretty decent size. I’ve always loved reading when I had the time so it’s very important to me to have a place to keep all of my books.”  

Frank enjoyed reading sometimes but he mostly just preferred to listen to music instead. “That’s pretty cool.” He replied honestly.  

It didn’t take them long after that for them to reach a large, oak door that had a stained glass window and beautiful detailing carved into the wood. It creaked lowly as it was pushed open, as if the hinges were protesting the movement, and they both stepped inside. Frank didn’t know what he had expected, but the room was absolutely marvelous. There were tall shelves reaching up to meet the ceiling that were integrated into the walls. All of them covered completely in books that he hadn’t even heard of. On the far end of the room, there was even a fireplace with two large, plush chairs sitting in front of it that tied the room together seamlessly. It instantly became one of Frank’s favorite rooms as well. 

He slowly began to walk around, running his fingertip over the spines of the books along the shelves. It almost reminded him of when he worked at the library. Hell, he still  _did_ work at a library. It’s not like he quit his job, he was fucking  _kidnapped_. Fuck, how did he forget that even for a _second_ ? Frank sighed heavily and glanced around the large room again, taking in more details than he had the first time he looked around. He was about to turn back to Gerard when his eyes caught onto something sitting in the corner. It was a guitar. It was a little dusty but Frank could still see how absolutely _beautiful_ it was. As Frank eagerly stepped closer to it, he could see that it was classic Gibson Les Paul with an absolutely stunning and clean white paint job.  

“Do you play?” Gerard broke through the silence. He had been watching Frank explore the room, and it would have been impossible for him to miss the marveling expression that lit up the boy’s face when he saw the instrument. 

Frank breathed out a laugh. “Fuck yeah, I do.” He said as he dragged his fingertips up the length of the strings and the quiet squeak that they made from the friction sent pleasurable shivers up his spine. Fuck, he didn’t realize how damn much he missed his guitar. 

“You can play it, Frankie, if you’d like. You might have to tune it first since I haven’t played it.” Gerard told Frank. He hadn’t known that Frank had liked to play but he was excited to learn something new about him.  

Those words that slipped from Gerard’s lips were like music to Frank’s ears. “Really?” He questioned excitedly and looked back to the older man with excitement.  

Gerard hummed. “Go ahead, darling.” He murmured before going to sit down on one of the plush chairs. “Just come bring it over here so you can sit down.” The older man said as he nodded towards the seat that was a few feet in front of him.  

“Thank you.” Frank wasn’t going to ask Gerard if he was sure anymore. He didn’t want there to be even a  _chance_ of him changing his mind. He picked up the guitar and began to make his way to the chair that Gerard motioned at, sitting down before immediately beginning to tune it.  

Gerard watched Frank with his eyes filled with adoration and affection. He loved being able to make the other boy happy. It was all he ever wanted. Frank didn’t take long at all to tune it properly since he had done it many times before and he glanced up a little nervously at Gerard. He wasn’t so used to anyone watching him so intently when he played, it made him a little anxious. To help himself relax slightly, Frank just closed his eyes for a moment and took in slow breaths and run his fingers up and down the strings to get a feel for them. Even that was nearly euphoric in itself.  

Gerard just continued to look at Frank. He looked so much more relaxed, like he was finally in his own skin. He looked beautiful. Even though he wasn’t playing yet, Gerard would have been able to sit there forever and just watch him. As the first chord rang out in the quiet room, Gerard was almost startled by it but then more and more followed after it. A beautiful melody played out. It echoed in his ears and Gerard could feel it resonating in his veins. He had never heard what Frank was playing before so he figured it must have been made up by him. Either way, Gerard was in love with the sound of it. After watching Frank’s fingers for a few moments he looked back up to his face. He looked so serene. So at peace. He always wanted Frank to look like that. He was so gorgeous. Frank continued playing for a couple more minutes, just showering Gerard in a sense of tranquility and then it was over.  

 Gerard just sat there for a few silent moments, unable to really find any words that would be worthy of following after that, before he finally spoke. “Frank…wow…that was- I can’t even describe it.” Gerard breathed softly. He was feeling so much love for Frank swelling inside of him. “It was  _astounding_ .” He whispered. 

Frank hadn’t ever really played for anyone, so hearing from someone other than himself that he was good meant quite a bit. Though, he was sure that Gerard would think that he was good no matter what. He seemed to like anything that Frank did. Well, as long as he wasn’t misbehaving but other than that, it was pretty accurate. “U-um, thanks, Gerard.” He mumbled a little shyly and began to scratch at the back of his neck. 

“You’re very welcome.” Gerard said as he looked Frank up and down. “You know, you look really beautiful when you play.” 

Frank’s eyes flickered up to meet the others gaze and he bit down on his lip as a blush began to dust his cheeks. “Yeah?” He mumbled and grinned sheepishly. 

“Of course.” Gerard assured him, his brows furrowing seriously as he leaned forwards. “You get this really intense look on your face like you’re really  _feeling_ the music flow through your body and out your fingers. I could watch you play for hours.”  

Frank shifted and lifted the guitar from his lap to prop it up against the side of the chair. He didn’t know what to say to that so instead he mumbled another small thanks. He wasn’t used to being complemented so sincerely. “Thanks for letting me play your guitar.” He said to sort of change the subject. 

“It can be  _your_ guitar, if you’d like.” Gerard offered with a smile.  

Frank was quiet for a second as he stared at Gerard to see if he was serious. “Wait…really?” He asked incredulously; looking back down at the guitar. “You’d just _give_ it to me?” 

Gerard nodded eagerly. “Yes, Frankie. You can have it. My grandfather left it to me in his will and I haven’t even touched it since. I know that he would have wanted you to have it since you care about playing so much.”  

Frank couldn’t believe that Gerard was just giving him the guitar. It had to have been worth at the  _least_ a thousand dollars. It meant so much to him that Gerard was so kind. “Wow, I can’t even really think of anything to say.” Frank breathed out before getting up and walking over to Gerard. He leaned down slowly and wrapped his arms around Gerard in a gentle hug and he wasn’t surprised when the older man reached up to return the embrace quickly. It was slightly awkward to him since he was standing up and Gerard was sitting down but judging by the pleased little hum that Gerard emitted, Frank could tell that he was still enjoying it. “Thank you.” Frank murmured as he pulled away. 

Gerard felt like there were butterflies erupting in his stomach, his lips stretching into an open-mouthed smile as he looked up at Frank. “You’re extremely welcome. I know that you will treat it much better than I did.” He said in reference to the guitar. He almost felt as though the hug hadn’t really happened. He wasn’t used to Frank being the one to give  _him_ affection but, God. He wouldn’t ever ask for anything else. Gerard reached forwards and grasped Frank’s hand gently, marveling at how well their fingers fit together. “Can you sit down?” He asked softly and gave a small tug to Frank.  

Frank looked at their clasped hands for a brief moment; thinking about how strange it was that he was so used to the way Gerard’s fingers felt laced with his own. At the question, he raised an eyebrow curiously and glanced down at Gerard’s legs. “In your lap?” He asked, his voice laced with a hint of nervousness. He thought back to the last time that he had been sitting in his lap. That’s whenever he got those bruises on his neck. 

“Yeah, I would like that.” Gerard said as he gave another gentle tug. “I want to hold you, sweetheart.” He explained, hoping that the use of the pet name would help convince Frank to comply.  

Frank felt his face heat up at the name. Sweetheart had always been one of his favorite things to be called, but he had never admitted that to anyone. He didn’t want them to see him as weak. But Gerard didn’t seem to see him like that. Well, maybe he did, but he didn’t show it. He appeared to treat him with some sort of dignity or, at least, whenever Frank was behaving he did. He guessed he didn’t really see any real harm in allowing Gerard to hold him. “Okay- um, sure.” He nodded, then carefully began to lower himself onto the other’s lap. 

Gerard grinned wider and wrapped his arms around Frank’s waist to keep him held close. His chest was pressed up against the boy’s back and he buried his face into his neck. “Thank you.” He whispered. 

Frank only gave a small hum in return as he made himself relax against Gerard’s chest. It was a little irritating how comfortable he was. He wished that he wasn’t because then Frank wouldn’t find himself somewhat enjoying sitting in Gerard’s lap. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do while he sat there though. He didn’t know if Gerard wanted him to talk or if he preferred that he stay quite. It would be easier for him if he was facing him, maybe then he would be able to gauge what he was supposed to do by the expression that Gerard was wearing.  

Gerard was completely content in that moment. He loved how perfectly Frank fit against him. It was as if they were made for each other. They  _were_ made for each other. Frank was meant to be with Gerard and vice versa. Gerard was absolutely  _certain_ of it. “I love you so much, Frankie…” He cooed before pressing his lips to the back of Frank’s neck. “I can’t get over how beautiful you are.” Gerard slowly began to slip his fingers under the edge of Frank’s shirt, carefully dragging his fingertips over his lower stomach in a soothing manner.  

Frank’s breathing gave a slight hitch as the cold fingers began to run over his skin and he did his best to ignore the way that the touch was still almost _fiery._ He still didn’t know how to respond when Gerard spoke to him like that. The only thing he could think of to say, was thank you, so that’s what he did. “Thank you, Gerard.” He sighed, and began to bite down on his lower lip as Gerard’s fingers continued to stay on his stomach. “Can I turn around?” He questioned quietly. He didn’t like that he wasn’t able to see what expressions Gerard was making. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much, maybe because it made him feel more vulnerable.  

“Yeah, sure.” Gerard responded almost immediately. He would never pass up a chance to be face to face with Frank. After removing his hands from Frank’s stomach, the boy began to turn around until he was straddling his lap again. God, he loved the way Frank looked when he was like that. The way that his legs felt as they were spread out and on either side of him made it so hard for him to resist bucking his hips up. “Hey there, handsome.” He said playfully in an attempt to distract himself from making those thoughts go any further. 

Frank breathed a tiny giggle and looked down to avoid Gerard’s gaze. He had no idea why he had thought that facing Gerard would be any better for him. It just made things so much worse. Because now, he was only a few inches away from Gerard’s face, and not to mention that their crotches were now so close to touching that all Frank would have to do was shift slightly and…God, Frank had to stop thinking about that. It was all because of his fucking dream. It made him feel a little more curious about how it might feel if they tried anything. Of course, they weren’t going to. Frank was certain of that. He wouldn’t allow it to get that far. “Hey.” He breathed with a small smile, finally glancing back up to Gerard.  

“Can I kiss you again?” Gerard asked suddenly. He was just unexpectedly overwhelmed with how fucking gorgeous Frank was and it would be so damn easy for him to just lean forwards and capture the other’s lips with his own.  

Frank almost choked on his spit. Why did Gerard have to do that? What the hell was he supposed to say? It was easier for him when Gerard did it the first time without asking since he didn’t have a chance to stop him. Now, if he says yes, then Gerard would try to do it _more._ “U-um, I don’t know…” He whispered, suddenly feeling extremely shy.  

Gerard moved a hand up to cup Frank’s jaw, and he began to stroke his thumb over his cheek. “It can be quick, Frankie. I just…I just need to kiss you again.”  

Frank tilted his head to lean into the touch and thought about it for a moment. “Are you, like, hurting again?” He asked as he sort of waved his hand vaguely over Gerard’s stomach since that was usually where he said he felt the pain. Frank felt as though he could justify giving the older man a kiss if he were hurting. That way he could say that it wasn’t just to kiss Gerard, it was to help him.  

Gerard glanced down at his lower abdomen when Frank gestured towards it, and shook his head. He felt amazingly relaxed at that moment. Sure, there was still the usual pain that was always there but it was dulled. It wasn’t as prominent as it normally was, and he was entirely grateful for that, but he still wanted to kiss Frank. The pain was never just the only reason he wanted close contact with the other. “I’m not really hurting right now, actually. At least, not too terribly.” He spoke softly with a gentle smile poised on his lips. “But I still want to kiss you.” Gerard knew that he was capable of just forcing Frank to kiss him, but that’s not how he wanted their relationship to be. He wanted Frank to actually  _enjoy_ doing things with him and to not feel obligated.  

Frank darted his gaze down to their laps and began to chew on his lower lip anxiously. He felt so confused on what to do. On one hand, he remembered how soft Gerard’s lips had been against his and how intense and actually  _satisfying_ their last kiss had been but on the other, Frank remembered that he shouldn’t want to do those things with his captor, no matter how nice he seemed. He was the one that took him from his family. But what if they didn’t miss him? He knew that his father wouldn’t have noticed that he was gone. He barely noticed _anything_ except whenever he ran out of beer. He wasn’t really a bad guy, he just had a bad habit. He didn’t know what his mom was thinking. While she was always mentally present and functional, she was always working. She might not have really been home enough to notice Frank’s absence. So it wasn’t her fault if she didn’t realize he was gone. The only people that Frank  _knew_ that must have realized he was missing, were Ray and Bob. Well, he at least  _hoped_ that they did. Or maybe they just thought he ran away… 

It took a moment for Frank to realize that he had zoned out, but when he came back he noticed that Gerard was staring at him intently. His gaze was so soft and affectionate, his pupils dilated and making the hazel in the iris appear darker. Frank felt his heart began to beat faster in his chest as he stared back at Gerard. He felt almost blanketed in a gentle warmth, his skin prickling pleasantly as Gerard’s gaze continued to pierce through him. Frank found himself beginning to forget all of the bad things he had just been thinking only a few seconds ago, his mind getting wiped clean and pleasant thoughts filling his head instead. It was almost as if he was getting hypnotized just from looking into the other’s eyes. Gerard  _was_ a strange man, he wouldn’t be surprised if he had some sort of supernatural ability to trick people into doing whatever he wanted. He was almost certain of it because of what came out of his mouth next. “Okay. Just a quick one, right?”  

Gerard beamed at Frank and nodded. Frank hated that he thought Gerard had a beautiful smile. “Just a quick one, I promise.” The older man confirmed before he quickly leaned forwards and pressed a gentle kiss to Frank’s lips. It was short just as he promised; he pulled away after only a second, but it was so fucking  _gratifying_. Any kiss that he would ever get from Frank would always be amazing to him. Gerard began to card his fingers through Frank’s hair and hummed gratefully. “Thank you.” 

Frank nodded and smiled timidly as he looked away from Gerard. He couldn’t believe that he found that kiss to be too short. He had maybe thought that Gerard wouldn’t stay true to his word, and would take it further. Frank realized with slight horror that he had actually been  _hoping_ for that. He needed to get off of Gerard before he tried to get him to kiss him again. “C-can I get off? My legs are starting to hurt.” He lied. His legs felt fine, and he was actually pretty comfortable sitting like that, but he didn’t know what else to say. 

Gerard smiled sympathetically and nodded. “Yeah, Frankie, of course.” He murmured and removed his hand from his hair. As Gerard started to shift his legs to sort of help Frank get up, he pushed one up and accidentally rubbed his thigh up against Frank’s crotch. The action caused a tiny moan to be elicited from Frank, and he fell back down onto Gerard’s lap weakly. Gerard didn’t miss the frail sound, and his mouth went dry as he froze suddenly. He could hear his blood rushing through his ears as Frank stammered out an apology. 

 “S-sorry, um- I didn’t mean to fall back on you.” Frank stuttered; hoping that Gerard maybe  _hadn’t_ heard that noise but when he looked up at Gerard again he could tell that that wasn’t the case.  

Gerard swallowed thickly, Frank’s eyes following the movement of his throat. “It’s okay.” He rasped; voice sounding wrecked even though he hadn’t really been using it. Gerard darted his gaze down to Frank’s crotch before quickly back up to his eyes and he daringly shifted his leg up again to see what would happen. Frank’s hands instantly reached up to grip at the front of Gerard’s shirt tightly and another quiet gasp was pulled from him. 

“G-Gerard…” Frank whispered, keeping his head dropped down. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t deny that the small amount of friction felt amazing but he wasn’t sure if he wanted it to continue. Frank looked up only when he felt Gerard’s fingers move down to his hips and began to grip him tightly. He began to have flashbacks to his dream he had woken up from and it really wasn’t helping his situation. “I-I think- mnh-“ Frank had been beginning to try to tell Gerard that they should stop but he was interrupted when Gerard only pushed his thigh up again.  

Frank almost collapsed forward and pressed his face into Gerard’s neck out of embarrassment. His grip on Gerard’s shirt tightened and he emitted a small whimper. He was going to make Gerard stop, he really _was_ , but it just felt too good. It wouldn’t hurt anyone if he let it go on for just a little bit longer, right? He felt Gerard’s thigh press up against him again, and it took him a second to realize that it was _himself_ that was actually grinding down against it slowly. “Fuck.” He heard Gerard breathe out, his voice sounding just as filthy as it had in his dream.  

Gerard watched with amazement and pure lust as Frank moved his hips down against him. He shifted himself slightly to line his own hips up and began to rut upwards to get some friction for himself. “G-god, Frankie.” He rasped and began to dig his nails into Frank’s hips. The pleasure he felt was almost staggering as he could feel his length hardening in his jeans, and he could tell that Frank was beginning to sport an erection as well. He had never really seen Frank when he was aroused but it was something he had been craving for so long. He had always wanted them to be close like this.  

Frank knew that he really should stop it, especially since he could feel Gerard’s cock pressing up against his through the layers of fabric, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not yet. It had been much too long since he had actually felt someone else rutting against him like that. “Mmh-  _Gerard_ .” Frank moaned quietly against his throat, his face heating up brightly in embarrassment. He didn’t like to show the other man the affect he had on him, even though it was becoming obvious.  

“Fuck, baby.” Gerard mumbled and threw his head back as he continued to roll his hips up. He never wanted it to end. God, he had never felt so euphoric before. Nothing he had ever done had even come close to the sensation. Frank’s breathing hitched right in his ear and it made him shiver with pleasure and slowly he began to slide his hand from Frank’s hip, moving to press it against the front of the boy’s pants.  

Frank gasped a little loudly and bucked into the touch on reflex; his mouth opening up against Gerard’s throat. He needed to end it. He couldn’t risk allowing Gerard’s hand to linger there any longer in fear that it would go much further. “G-Gerard, s-stop.” He whimpered weakly; keeping his face hidden against the older man’s neck.  

Gerard furrowed his brow and closed his eyes as he fought the urge to ignore Frank. “Sorry.” He panted as he removed his hand, bringing it to rest on the armrest of the chair. “Sorry.” He repeated. 

Frank just breathed heavily for a few long seconds before pulling back. He hid his face in his hands so Gerard still couldn’t see him. He felt so ashamed that he hadn’t been able to control himself and now he had a very prominent erection that he knew Gerard could see. “I-I um- I’m just going to go…take care of myself.” Frank mumbled through his hands, making his voice sound almost muted.  

Gerard just nodded and watched as Frank moved off of his lap – this time  _without_ any accidental contact happening – and left the room. Gerard just couldn’t believe what had happened. It almost seemed as though it was all just a dream that had transpired. Frank had actually been  _rutting_ against him. It had to have been the hottest thing he had ever experienced. “Holy fuck.” He whispered to himself on a tiny, disbelieving laugh. Frank had to have some sort of attraction for him if he was able to do _t_ _hat_ . It made Gerard’s heart flutter excitedly at the prospect of their relationship growing.  

He glanced down and realized that he still needed to take care of his own erection, just like Frank was doing. Fuck, Frank was in the same house as him while he touched himself. He was actually jerking off, and Gerard wasn’t able to watch. It was almost cruel, but it was also incredibly hot. Gerard began to hurriedly make his way to the lower level bathroom since he figured Frank had gone to the one that was connected to their room, and he quickly tugged down his pants as soon as he got in and shut the door. 

He carefully began to stroke himself, his mind starting to think about how Frank must look right then. He wondered if what he was thinking about. Maybe he was thinking about  _him._ Gerard moaned lewdly and rested against the door as he bucked his hips up into his hand. God, he wanted to fuck Frank. He just wanted to push inside of him and feel his tight heat surround him. He knew that Frank would look so pretty all spread out for him and he would feel so fucking amazing too. “Fuck, Frankie…” He whispered as he began to quicken his pace. He didn’t want to be in the bathroom for too long. Even though it would feel nice to take his time, he didn’t want Frank to come downstairs while he wasn’t finished yet.  

It didn’t really take him that much longer. All Gerard had to do was imagine Frank down on his knees in front of him – as he had thought about many times before – taking his cock into his mouth with his eyes half lidded and drool dripping down his chin, and he came quickly across his knuckles. Gerard gasped loudly and clenched his eyes shut as waves of pleasure crashed over him. His free hand moved up to his face to cover it as he panted into his palm while he rode out his orgasm. Fuck, he just wanted to be able to experience that pleasure with Frank. He wanted to be the one to push him over the edge and make him gasp and moan. Gerard knew that it would be best if he stopped thinking about it or he might have to jerk off again.  

Gerard took the time to wash his hands and clean himself up, looking himself over in the mirror as he did so. His face was slightly flushed and there was a sheen of sweat covering his skin but he looked a lot better than he used to. The dark circles that usually resided under his eyes were much less prominent and he didn’t look as worn out. Frank really was helping him just by being around. With a deep and relaxed sigh, Gerard patted down the white strands of hair that were sticking out of place and stepped out of the restroom just as Frank was coming down the stairs. He looked just like Gerard did. His face dusted with a blush and skin slightly sweaty. “Hey.” He murmured as he approached him.  

Frank glanced away as soon as Gerard looked at him. He felt so shy since he knew that Gerard had known he was jerking off only a minute ago. “Hey.” He echoed back. He knew that Gerard had jerked off too, there was no way that he didn’t. Frank didn’t want to even deal with the possibility of Gerard trying to bring it up, so he started to talk about something else. “I’m pretty hungry.” He mumbled. 

Gerard realized that they had skipped breakfast as soon as Frank had said that, and he suddenly felt the effects of it. “I am too.” He agreed with a small nod. “But I don’t really think I have a lot of food in the kitchen, I think I’m going to have to go to the store.” Gerard told the boy as he looked him over. He wished that he would look at him. 

“What about me?” Frank asked curiously and finally glanced up at Gerard. “Where will I go? Are you going to keep me here?” 

Gerard didn’t like the idea of Frank having to stay there all by himself but he wasn’t sure if he was able to trust him to come with him. “I don’t know…” Gerard breathed with a shrug. “I’m not sure if I can trust you to go to the store with me, Frankie.” He said apologetically. “Not yet anyway. I don’t want you to try to run away.” 

Frank didn’t want to stay at the house by himself. He didn’t know why but the thought of being there alone was a little freaky. Probably because he had only been there while Gerard had and it was such a huge place that it gave off an off-putting vibe. Not to mention it was deep in the woods. He never really liked to be isolated so much. Even when he was at his home all by himself, there were still a bunch of houses and buildings all around him since he lived in the city. “Gerard, please.” He began to beg as he stepped closer to him and grasped at his arm; completely forgetting about the awkward situation that had happened beforehand. “I swear you can trust me. I won’t try to leave you.” He promised. 

Gerard’s lips twitched up into a smile and he brushed the hair away from Frank’s face. “Are you sure? Because if you try anything, and I mean  _anything_ at all, I’ll have to put you back in the basement.” He warned carefully, still smiling as he looked down at Frank. He knew just how much he hated the lower level of the house, so hopefully it would deter him from trying to escape or call out for help.  

Frank visibly shuddered and pressed himself closer to Gerard at the mention of having to go down there again. He never wanted to go back to the basement. He wasn’t even going to risk it. “I swear, I won’t do anything.” He whimpered and buried his face in Gerard’s chest. “Please don’t make me go back down there.”  

Gerard smile grew even wider and wrapped his arms around Frank protectively. “Aw, Frankie, don’t worry.” He cooed. “As long as you behave, I won’t make you.” He nuzzled against Frank’s hair and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head.  

Frank hated that he felt safer as soon as Gerard began to hold him, but it didn’t stop him from putting his own arms around Gerard’s waist. “So can I go with you?” He mumbled against his chest before pulling back slightly to look up at him with a hopeful expression.  

“I don’t know.” Gerard responded at first. “Do you promise to behave for me?” 

Nodding eagerly and looking up at Gerard with an almost innocent gaze, Frank promised. “Yes, Sir. I swear I’ll be good.” 

Gerard gave a satisfied hum that always seemed to emit from him when he was called that, and he began to run his fingers through Frank’s hair affectionately. “Thank you. You’re always such a good boy.” He purred. “I guess I will allow you to tag along with me this time, Frankie.” Gerard murmured softly.  

Frank’s face flushed a deep color and he smiled bashfully. “Thank you so much.” He said gratefully as he leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of Gerard’s mouth to show his appreciation for being allowed to come with him. He knew that he should probably stop giving affectionate gestures to Gerard if he didn’t want Gerard to do it back, but lately the rational side of his brain had been pretty absent.  

After the small kiss, Gerard’s lips quirked up into a grin and he pulled Frank in for a tight hug. “You’re welcome, my love.” He murmured before pulling away. Gerard thought briefly about what he would need to get before they left. All he needed really was his coat, keys, wallet, and shoes but he didn’t know if Frank needed anything. “Are you pretty much ready to go then?” He questioned the boy as he gestured for him to follow him up to his room. 

Frank followed behind Gerard quickly as they walked up to the room. “Yeah, all I need are my shoes really, and maybe a jacket since it’s so cold out.” He said quietly. When they reached Gerard’s room, Frank watched as he gathered his things before he went to the closet.  

“This might be a little big on you, but it will keep you warm.” Gerard said sweetly as he handed Frank an old, heavy leather jacket. He hadn’t really worn it in quite some time, he usually preferred to wear his pea coat instead. Which he pulled from the hook on the door and slipped on over his clothes. 

Frank took the jacket and thanked Gerard. As he put it on, he got a very strong whiff of the others smell and it caused a smile to spread on his face without him meaning for it too. He immediately felt cocooned in warmth and almost a sense of safeness as he snuggled up in the jacket. It really  _was_ too big for him but he sort of liked it that way. Gerard didn’t even say anything else before he was reaching for Frank’s hand and beginning to tug him back out of the room. Both of their shoes were downstairs so he was finished with the room.  

They then went to the living room to get Frank’s shoes and then to the door for Gerard’s boots. Gerard slipped them on and turned back to give his house a once over like he always did. “Okay, sweetheart, are you ready to go?” He asked Frank once he took his hand again and began to unlock the door with the keys.   

Frank gave Gerard’s fingers a gentle squeeze, excitement building up inside of him at finally getting to leave the house for just a little bit. Frank wasn’t used to being so confined to one place for so long. “I’m ready.” He said eagerly, almost bouncing up and down childishly. 

Gerard gave a small laugh at how thrilled Frank appeared to be and pulled open the door. “Well, let’s get going then.” He said as they stepped out into the brisk winter air. Gerard immediately tugged Frank closer to him and wrapped his arm around him in an attempt to protect him from a gust of ice-cold wind. “Shit, it’s fuckin’ cold out here.” He complained as he began to guide Frank to his car. 

Frank agreed and pressed himself closer to Gerard with an irritated grumble at the temperature. He had gotten so used to being inside of Gerard’s well-heated house that the cold was a shock to his system. Once they got to the car, he quickly got seated when the door was open for him and he murmured a small thanks before it was shut. As he watched the older man walk around the car, he realized how well the winter backdrop fit him. All the muted colors of leafless dead trees, and washed out, grey skies, tied in seamlessly with his near ghostly pale skin and startling white hair. The dark fabric of his clothes made the lines of his body almost fade into the background of the tall, dark trees. His eyes were different though. The magnitude of how piercing the hazel color appeared in his always focused and intense gaze was nearly staggering. As Frank continued to watch him, he was suddenly shocked by the realization of how  _beautiful_ he was. 

Gerard opened the driver side door once he reached it, and sat down with an exaggerated shiver. “Fuck.” He breathed before looking over to Frank for a brief moment, only to find that he was already staring at him intently. “What is it? Are you okay?” He questioned concernedly. He wasn’t used to Frank looking at him like that.  

Frank stuttered and widened his eyes once he realized that he had been caught staring, and his face heated up with embarrassment. “U-um, nothing. I-it’s nothing.” He promised, then quickly maneuvered to face forwards and buckle himself up. 

Gerard furrowed his brow and moved to rest his hand on Frank’s thigh. “Are you nervous about going out in public?” He asked, tilting his head with his eyes filled with sympathy.  

Frank looked down at the hand that was gripping his leg and he whined internally. It certainly wasn’t helping him stomp down his suddenly realized feelings. Sure, he had always known that Gerard had some attractive features and he had already had a few, sort of _sexual_ moments that involved him, but he hadn’t really admitted to himself that he was actually _attracted_ to him. It also felt so abrupt, the way that the realization had hit him like a ton of bricks. “Just a little, yeah.” Frank lied to cover up what he was really thinking.  

Gerard ran his hand up and down Frank’s thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay, Frankie. I’m going to be right there, okay?” He assured and retracted his hand so he could start the car up.  

“Okay.” Frank replied simply, turning to rest his head on the cool window. The sensation of the glass on his forehead brought him back to the first time he had been in that car. He remembered the feeling of the gag pressing against his tongue and the way he felt helpless and a little scared when he realized that he was tied up. Frank began to draw his legs up onto the seat and wrapped his arms around them nervously as he tried to forget it. Gerard wouldn’t do that to him again, would he? 

Gerard immediately noticed that Frank’s demeanor got a little worse, so he turned to look at him again. “Hey, darling, what’s wrong? Are you still worried about going to the store? Because you can just stay here if you think that would be better.” Gerard offered and reached to grab one of Frank’s hands. 

“Please.” Frank whispered, closing his eyes. “You’re not going to tie me up again, right?” His voice was shaking as the question slipped out. 

It took a few moments for Gerard to realize why he would even bring that up, before he remembered that the last time Frank had been in the car with him was the time that he had taken him. “Oh, baby. Frankie, no.” Gerard murmured gently and began to turn Frank’s jaw so he would look at him. “Look at me, sweetheart. I only tied you up that time because I knew you might freak out on me when you woke up and I didn’t want you to accidentally hurt yourself, or me.” He explained as he stroked the boy’s jaw, giving him a faint smile when his eyes began to crack open. “You never have to worry about getting tied up again unless you misbehave, alright? I hate ever making you uncomfortable, Frankie. I love you so much and all I want is for you to feel happy and safe.” 

Frank admittedly  _did_ feel a little better after hearing Gerard’s reassuring words and he began to uncurl from himself. “Do you promise?” He asked, hating how weak he sounded. He normally felt so much more confident but he knew that Gerard definitely wouldn’t hesitate to punish him if he did something wrong so it just made him a little more wary about each thing he did.  

Gerard nodded and leaned over the center console of the car to give Frank a gentle kiss on his cheek. “I promise.” He confirmed and smiled at Frank. 

Frank nodded before he turned back to lean against the window again; a shy smile tugging at his lips. He didn’t want Gerard to see how much the small kiss affected him. God, what had happened to him? He remembered when he used to feel filthy and disgusted whenever Gerard tried to touch him. Now all he felt was little jolts of excitement. Frank exhaled slowly and decided it would be best if he didn’t dwell on it at the moment. Instead, he was going to take that time to actually enjoy the scenery since all he had really seen lately were the walls of the house.  

. 

Most of the car ride was quiet. Not uncomfortably so, like it had been the first time, but more relaxed. Frank stared out the window for the majority of the time, the radio playing softly in the background while Gerard would hum along. Sometimes there would be moments where Gerard would say something to Frank and Frank would respond softly with a small smile. The atmosphere of the car in that moment was a lot like it had been in the library that one night. It was calm and relaxed, both of them keeping their voices lowered in fear of breaking the spell. They arrived at the supermarket after thirty three minutes of driving, Gerard choosing to park in the far end of the lot – away from everyone even though there was only a handful of other cars there – and turned the ignition off. He was the first to get out of the car as usual and he walked over to Frank’s side to open the door for him. 

“Are you ready to go, Frank?” Gerard asked as he held his hand out for him to take. 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Frank smiled a little nervously and reached for Gerard’s hand to help pull him out. Their hands stayed laced together even after his door was shut and the car was locked and they began to walk through the parking lot towards the store. It was a little daunting for both of them to be seen together in public.  

While Gerard was ecstatic to be able to show people that he was with Frank, he was also slightly paranoid that someone would recognize the boy and know that he was missing. Of course, it did help him slightly to remember that they were a few hours away from where Frank lived. Or _used_ to live, since he now lived with Gerard. Frank just felt extremely shy. He didn’t know what people would think about seeing Gerard and him together. He knew that a lot of people weren’t too accepting of two guys being together, even if they technically _weren’t_ really a couple. Of course, people would still think that they were since they were holding hands.  

Gerard glanced down at Frank once the automatic doors slid open and they walked inside. “Do you have any idea of what you want to get? I didn’t really feel like making a list because that always takes too long.” He chuckled as they walked over to the carts.  

Frank thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. He normally never really went shopping with his mom. She would always do that on her way home from work and would always be the one to pick things out. Now that Frank actually had the option, he wasn’t really able to think of what he wanted. “I don’t really know what I want.” Frank shrugged.  

“That’s okay.” Gerard hummed and began to push the cart with one hand so he could still hold Frank’s. “We’ll just go down the aisles and if you see anything you want then just tell me.” He instructed as he pulled Frank’s hand up to kiss his knuckles briefly.  

Frank gave Gerard’s fingers a squeeze and nodded. “Okay.” He replied and began to walk along with Gerard to the first aisle.  

. 

Shopping was pretty uneventful for the most part. Frank would always do as Gerard said when he saw something he liked and would tell him. Then Gerard, in turn, would always place it in the cart, no matter what it was. It was nice that he was pretty much able to get whatever foods he wanted. He wasn’t really used to getting to have so many options. Gerard always kept him close to him though. He never let go of his hand and always made sure to look at him every few seconds, before glancing at the people surrounding them. The only notable thing that really happened was whenever they got to the aisle with all of the chips. 

As they began to look at the different assortments of brands and flavors, Frank noticed out of the corner of his eyes that there was a woman most likely in her thirties that kept staring at them. He knew that it had to be because of how he was holding hands with Gerard, and even though he wasn’t actually in a relationship with him, it still pissed him off. All it did was make him want to get closer and be more openly affectionate with the older man. So he did. Frank slowly let go of his hand, making him look down at him quickly but before he could say anything, Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and began to nuzzle up against his jaw.  

Gerard almost dropped the bag of chips that he had just grabbed but he managed to sit them down in the cart before he quickly wrapped his own arms around Frank. “Frankie, what are you doing?” He asked as he pulled his head back to look at the other. He wasn’t upset at all, of course. He just wanted to know what brought on Frank’s sudden need to get so close to him.  

Frank just gave a quiet hum and daringly began to kiss Gerard’s throat softly. He really knew that he shouldn’t be doing that, especially since they were in the middle of the store but he just wanted to piss that lady off. It seemed to work, because as soon as Gerard breathed a tiny moan from the contact, he heard the woman scoff and walk away. Gerard was oblivious to her of course, all he was able to focus on was the way that Frank’s lips felt against his skin. “Frank.” He almost whimpered. “We can’t do this in the store.” While it felt absolutely incredible, Gerard didn’t want to have to walk around the store with an erection. Of course, if Frank wanted to continue once they got home, he definitely wouldn’t protest it at all. 

Frank pulled away, hiding his smirk of accomplishment. He didn’t want Gerard to know that he basically just used him to make someone uncomfortable. Though, as Frank actually thought about it, it felt rather nice to bury his face in the crook of his neck and feel his soft skin against his lips. He was a little tempted just to do it another time to make him whimper again. He didn’t, of course. He knew that it would be wrong to do that, especially since Gerard had told him to stop.  

After that incident, they continued to shop without anything else interrupting them. The only difference was now Gerard was holding onto Frank a little bit tighter and kept looking down at him more. Once they gathered everything that they wanted, they began to head to the checkout area of the store. A rather bored looking woman who was about Frank’s age began to scan their items. She paid no attention to the way that their hands were clasped together, nor the way that Gerard kept Frank pressed close to his side and Gerard was grateful for it. He didn’t like to deal with people more than he had to. Frank was the only exception to the rule.  

Gerard paid for their things and declined when the bagger asked uninterestedy if they needed help taking the bags to the car. “We’ve got it, thank you though.” He murmured politely and took Frank’s hand again. He was pretty excited to just get back home. He wouldn’t feel so worried about having to look over Frank and make sure that he was protected. As they began to walk the cart filled with groceries to their car, Gerard glanced at Frank with a loving smile. “You really did good in there, by the way.” He told him as they exited the store. 

Frank looked up with his eyebrows raised and tilted his head. “What do you mean?” He asked. 

“I mean that you behaved really well. You didn’t try to do anything bad at all.” Gerard explained, and gave Frank’s hand a squeeze. “It means a lot. It shows how much I can trust you.”  

Frank smiled timidly, suddenly feeling shy now that Gerard was praising his good behavior. It frightened him that he hadn’t tried to escape. It would have been so easy to just start screaming for help in the middle of the store, or to just run away, but he didn’t. He stayed right by Gerard’s side the whole time. He even  _kissed_ his neck for god’s sake. What was wrong with him? He was just building Gerard’s trust…that was all it was. He was making Gerard believe that he wouldn’t run away so he would take him out more, that way he would have a better opportunity to escape. That’s what Frank told himself to justify what he had done. He didn’t know how true it was though. “Thanks, Gerard.” He murmured. 

Gerard leaned down and pressed a small kiss to the top of Frank’s head affectionately. “Of course, Frankie.” He replied once they reached the car, and he unlocked the trunk. It only took them a minute or two to put all of the groceries into the back, and Frank grabbed the empty cart. 

“I can put the cart up, if you’d like?’ Frank offered. 

Gerard looked up from the trunk and glanced to the closest designated area for the grocery carts. It wasn’t as close as he would have liked, but it wasn’t exactly too  _far_ either. But, Frank had demonstrated that he wouldn’t misbehave, so he gave a small shrug. “Yeah, that’s fine.” He answered. “But don’t take too long.” 

Frank nodded and smiled. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” He promised before beginning to walk the cart away from Gerard. It didn’t really take him long at all to push it into the little area, and he was about to turn to go back to the car when something stopped him. Or _someone_ really.  

“Hey, kid.” Frank turned around and was met with a man. He looked like he must’ve been a little older than Gerard. He certainly didn’t look as extraordinary as him though. He looked gross, to be honest. Not only in his appearance, but also in the way that he made Frank feel whenever he looked at him.  

“What?” He asked shortly. He knew it was impolite, but he didn’t want to be around him any longer.  

“Can you help me load my groceries into my truck? I have a bad back and I could really use the help.” The man asked, pointing to his old, beat up truck that was parked only a few spaces away. The way that he sounded even made Frank shudder with disgust. He just had a gut feeling about this guy, and it was telling him to get away. 

“Um, I’m sorry man, but I don’t work here. Go see if someone else will help you.” He shrugged. “I gotta get going.” He mumbled and pulled Gerard’s leather jacket around him tighter as a cold gust of wind blew over him. He didn’t wait for a response before he turned around and started to walk back to the car. He could see Gerard in the distance, bending down slightly to unlock his door, when a hand suddenly wrapped around his mouth, and someone was dragging him backwards. 

“That’s too bad.” He heard the strangers voice breathe in his ear, and he could almost feel bile rise up in his throat at the sound of it.  

Frank immediately started to fight the man’s grip. He was flailing his arms and kicking his legs back and forth, but the man was stronger than he looked. It was obvious he didn’t actually have a bad back. Frank bit down on the other’s fingers as he was beginning to get pushed into the man’s truck and he screamed. “Gerard!” That was all he was able to get out before he was shoved inside. That was enough though.  

Gerard immediately turned around from his door and saw the man forcing Frank inside of his truck. He felt panic and adrenaline rush through him. “Frankie!” He yelled loudly, even though it was pointless. There was no fucking way that this was happening. He quickly dropped his keys and started to run towards them. “Let him go, you fucker!” He screamed, but he was stopped only a few feet away when the man suddenly pulled a gun out and pointed it at Frank. 

“If you take one fucking step closer, I’ll blow the kid’s brains out. Understand?” He warned with a slimy smirk.  

Gerard felt his heart immediately stop. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. The thought of anything like that happening to Frank was devastating. No matter how badly he wanted to launch himself forwards and beat the shit out of that man, he couldn’t risk it. Frank was much too important. Instead, he lifted both of his arms up and shook his head. “Please just let him go. He didn’t do anything to deserve this.” Gerard tried to reason. He glanced through the back window and looked at Frank. He looked so fucking terrified. More so than he had ever seen him. It fucking broke his heart. 

“Aw, I know.” The man said with mock sympathy. “He’s just so innocent and sweet, isn’t he?” He laughed and shook his head. “But, this boy is mine now and if you don’t want anything to happen to him, it’s best if you don’t call the cops.” He warned and raised his eyebrows up as if to dare Gerard to challenge him.  

Gerard knew that he couldn’t bring the cops into it anyways. He was the one who actually kidnapped Frank first, not to mention that he was a serial killer and always felt too uneasy around the police. This man was seriously pissing Gerard off now. He wasn’t going to get away with this. Gerard was going to fucking track him down and he was going to pay for doing this. After Gerard had made sure to get a good look at the man’s face he took the time to look over his truck. He took in every noticeable detail that he could use to identify it later on. He was going to fucking find him and kill him. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to Frank. He was going to save him if it was the last god damned thing he ever did. “I won’t call the fucking cops.” Gerard said venomously. “They’re not who you have to worry about.”  

The man actually fucking laughed at that. He threw his head back and   _laughed_. “You think  _y_ _ou’ll_ be able to stop me? If I so much as see your car following me when I leave, I won’t hesitate to kill him.” He told Gerard, and then started to get into his truck. He made sure to keep the gun trained on Frank so Gerard wouldn’t do anything. “I suggest you stay right there until I get out of here.” He smiled, and shut the door. Gerard had to watch with complete horror and a sense of utter helplessness as the man started his truck up and began to drive away. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard feels completely lost as he searches for the only thing that matters to him, while Frank begins to realize that maybe Gerard wasn't so bad after all...until he witnesses something.

“Gerard!” Frank screamed as loud as he could, hoping desperately that Gerard would hear him. As he was shoved inside of the truck, he could hear Gerard calling his name back just as loud. He almost felt better as he saw Gerard running towards him quickly, he felt like he was going to be okay. His optimism was shut down almost immediately when a gun was suddenly pointed at him. Frank froze in his spot, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gerard do the same.

“If you take one fucking step closer, I’ll blow the kid’s brains out. Understand?” Frank heard the man sneer at Gerard. He couldn’t see Gerard’s reaction though, his eyes were too busy staying trained to the gun that was pointed at him. He was fucking terrified. He felt like if he or Gerard made one wrong move, his life would be over. He would end just like that. He could just barely hear Gerard pleading for him to be let go, but it was no use at all. Gerard wouldn’t be able to save him this time, and that thought absolutely petrified him.

“Aw, I know.” Frank heard the man drawl out in a voice that made him sick to his stomach. “He’s just so innocent and sweet, isn’t he?” The man continued, but Frank didn’t want to listen anymore. He couldn’t stand the way that this man was talking about him like he was just some sort of mindless child that had no idea of what was going on. He hated what he said next as well. “But, this boy is mine now and if you don’t want anything to happen to him, it’s best if you don’t call the cops.”

 For just one second Frank managed to tear his gaze from the pistol and he glanced at Gerard. He hadn’t ever seen the man with that look on his face. It was a mixture of pure fire and rage. His eyes were dark and fists were clinching so tightly his already pale knuckles were going white.  “I won’t call the fucking cops.” Frank could just barely hear Gerard spit out harshly. “They’re not who you have to worry about.”

Frank’s eyes darted back to the other man once he laughed. The sound of it so disgusting that it caused his stomach to churn with nausea. “You think  _you’ll_  be able to stop me? If I so much as see your car following me when I leave, I won’t hesitate to kill him.” The man responded, and Frank felt like he could fucking cry. This man could really just _kill_ him. He would probably do it without any remorse as well. Frank breathed a small whimper as the man began to get into the truck, the gun still pointing at him “I suggest you stay right there until I get out of here.” The cab of the truck shook slightly once the door was slammed closed, and Frank felt his stomach sink with dread. This was really happening. He was really _trapped_ there.

“Are you excited to come home with me?” The man teased as he looked over to Frank, dragging his eyes over the boy’s body. Frank was only able to shiver with disgust before shaking his head. He didn’t want to go home with this man. He was absolutely horrified. He glanced back at Gerard as they began to drive away, just silently begging him to save him. That’s what Gerard did, right? He had apparently been watching over him for quite some time, and he had always been there to protect him, to save him. He had stopped that one guy from getting him when he walked home from the bar, but that guy didn’t have a gun. He hadn’t been pointing it at Frank when Gerard was trying to get to him. He knew that this time would be different. Frank knew that this time he wasn’t going to be okay.

As soon as the tattered, old truck pulled out of the parking lot, Gerard felt a near soul crushing anguish consume him. He felt like everything was crashing down around him. Nothing felt like it was real anymore.  Gerard dropped down to his knees, the rough pavement of the ground digging into his palms as he braced himself. His head dropped down, he wanted to scream but no sound would come out of his throat, nothing other than a broken, pathetic whimper.

His limbs began to feel weak, like all of the energy was getting drained out of them into the cold ground. He felt _sick_. His insides felt like they were getting spun around in a blender, clinching harshly and upsetting his stomach. Gerard began to feel bile rising up his throat suddenly and the contents of his stomach began to flood his mouth. He spat it out quickly and heaved a few times, his eyes starting to water as it burned his nose harshly. One of his pale, shaky hands slid down his torso to grasp at his abdomen as he retched repeatedly. He felt like he wouldn’t feel any relief until his stomach was entirely emptied out.

By the time he was finished, there was a pool of vomit staining the already filthy ground in front of him. Gerard closed his eyes, his brow furrowing in pain and discomfort as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He grimaced as he pulled it away and it was covered in a sheen of his spit and some bile, a small shudder running through him as his stomach clinched around nothing. He choked out a quiet noise of pain as his insides felt like they filled with fire again. He was extremely upset that vomiting seemed to do nothing to help, and he just closed his eyes tightly to try to stop the hot tears from escaping. He didn’t think that he had ever felt exactly _this_ bad before. The pain had never been this intense. It was almost as if Frank was actually a part of him, and now that they had been ripped apart from each other it left him feeling raw and overexposed to the ruthless pain.

“Hey, Man. Are you alright?” A voice suddenly called out to him. Gerard’s eyes snapped open and he quickly turned his head to see a man walking towards him, a concerned look etched into his features. “Do you need help?”

Gerard felt anger boil up inside of him. How dare this man come up to him and ask if he was ‘alright’. He had no idea what Gerard was going through. No _fucking_ idea. “Get the _fuck_ away from me.” He growled lowly in his throat, nails scraping against the rough ground.

“What?” The other man asked, suddenly confused. This guy looked a little crazy. He looked almost _rabid_. He had spit dripping from his chin and his eyes looked wild. “U-um, are you sure?”

Gerard shoved himself off of the ground quickly and swiveled around to face the man that wouldn’t leave him alone. He stepped to him quickly and grabbed him by the front of his shirt to pull him close. “What the fuck did I just tell you?” He snarled as he looked at the terrified man. “ Back off, and mind your _own_ damn business.” Gerard suddenly shoved the other man away harshly, causing him to fall to the ground. He knew he just wanted to help, but Gerard didn’t care. He wouldn’t be able to help him at all. He was just getting in his way and wasting his time. “Now back the fuck up before you regret even fucking _looking_ at me.”

“Shit, s-sorry, dude.” The man stuttered out as he scrambled to back away from Gerard. He was scared. He was absolutely terrified. Part of him was briefly worried that he wouldn’t be able to get out of there alive with the way that Gerard had been looking at him. There was something in his eyes. Something _dangerous_. He looked like he was ready to tear the world apart, and the man didn’t want to get in his way. Gerard didn’t say anything else. He just stood there, seething with rage as he watched the stranger get up and practically run back to where he had come from.  He didn’t have anymore time to just stand around and yell at strangers. He had to go get Frank back. He needed him. Gerard couldn’t possibly live without him.

He huffed an angry breath and turned back around to go back to his car. He sidestepped where he had gotten sick and pulled out his keys so he would be ready once he reached his vehicle. God, how could he have been so stupid? How could he have let Frank out of his sight for even one _second._ He had promised himself that he wouldn’t. He knew that the world was much too dangerous to do that. It had proved that it was when it had taken someone else from him, and now it took _Frank_. That was too much. He wasn’t going to let the world win. Not _this_ time.

_________________________

 

Frank glanced back at the man that was driving, his eyes darting down to the gun that was resting in his lap. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to grab the pistol fast enough before the man would have it pointed at him again. He shifted slightly to press himself against the old door, the rusted metal creaking slightly with the weight of him. He wanted to distance himself as much as he could from the stranger. He hated him. He hated him more than he had hated Gerard when he was first kidnapped by him. He hadn’t been as filled with terrifying dread in the pit of his stomach then. Sure, he had been frightened, but Gerard was kind to him for the most part when they were riding in the car. He had only lashed out when Frank had accidentally hurt him. This man, though, he seemed like he would lash out at Frank just for the fun of it. He looked like he would want to hurt Frank just because he thought it would be enjoyable.

“Mm, I bet I’m gonna have lots of fun with you.” The man drawled out in a sickly sweet voice. The sound of it gruff and dirty as it reached Frank’s ears, making him feel sick as it broke through the silence. He dropped his eyes down as he looked back at him with his cold eyes. They appeared to be completely void of any pleasant emotions, completely opposite of the way that Gerard’s warm hazel eyes looked at him. He hated it. “I can see why that other guy was so upset about losing you.” The stranger smirked and dragged his gaze over Frank’s curled up body. “You really _are_ a pretty little thing.”

“S-stop.” Frank choked out and clenched his eyes shut tightly. He couldn’t handle the way that man was talking about him. “ _Please_.” He finished on a whisper.

“Aw, don’t be like _that_ , baby.” The man cooed, making Frank’s stomach churn uneasily before he suddenly jumped and squeaked out a noise of discomfort once he felt the man’s too hot hand on his thigh. His fingers weren’t soothingly cool like Gerard’s were. “I just wanna play around with you a little bit.” He chuckled dirtily, running his filthy hand up the boy’s thigh as he gave it a squeeze.

Frank held back a disgusted noise that threatened to spill out of his mouth and tried to shift away again. He felt not only petrified, but also filled with complete repulsion. “Let go of me.” He pleaded desperately.

“You need to be more grateful that I’m even taking my time to do anything with you, boy.” The man told Frank coldly, sounding irritated. “I could just shoot you and dump you in a ditch. Is _that_ what you want? Do you want your cold, dead, lifeless little body to be laying limp on the side of the road?” His voice was slowly growing louder, his hand tightening on Frank’s thigh as he grew more angry. “Maybe I won’t toss your body right away.” He mused out loud as Frank cowered and kept his head down. “Maybe I’ll have a little fun and use your body how I please before I get rid of it. That way I won’t have to deal with your bratty little mouth.” He growled out, his nails beginning to rip at the fabric of Frank’s jeans faintly as he clinched his fists.

“I’m sorry!” Frank yelped in pain as his thigh began to throb. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This man was absolutely terrible. Gerard had never spoken to him like that, not to _that_ extent. He couldn’t help but compare everything this man did to Gerard. Gerard was always so kind to him. He completely and truly loved him. All he seemed to want to do was to take care of Frank and make him happy. This man didn’t want that at all. This man only wanted to use him. For nasty, unspeakable things it appeared. “I’m s-so sorry.” He whimpered again, keeping his eyes shut as he bit down on his lip.

“Stupid little bitch.” The man grumbled as he finally released Frank’s leg and brought it back to the steering wheel. His other hand dropping down to rest on the handle of the gun that sat on his lap, making Frank feel wary as he finally opened his eyes to look at it again.

_________________________

Gerard began to tug at his hair again, his nails digging into his scalp as he breathed out a growl that trailed into a weak whimper. He had never felt so damn helpless. “God damn it!” He shouted and slammed his fist against the steering wheel. As soon as he had gotten into his car he had decided to drive around a couple of blocks, trying to be discreet as his eyes scanned for that old beat up truck. He knew he couldn’t get caught or else it would be detrimental to Frank’s safety. He knew that man hadn’t been playing around when he said he would blow Frank’s brains out. The thought of that happening made a violent shudder rip through him, his stomach churning as he hunched forwards in his seat. He felt sick again, but he knew that there wasn’t anything else in his stomach that it would be able to force up his throat. He couldn’t believe that Frank was with that man all by himself. God, as soon as Gerard got his hands on that man, he was going to make him fucking regret that he was even born. He was going to hurt this man and tear him to shreds until he’s begging for death. He was not going to let _anyone_ treat Frank like that and get away with it.

No matter where Gerard seemed to drive, he couldn’t find the truck. It was just absolutely nowhere in sight. It was fucking gone. Just… _gone._ Gerard could feel tears welling up in his eyes, making his vision blurry as he looked at the road in front of him. “Fuck.” He choked out. “I’m so so sorry, Frankie.” Gerard whispered as he scrubbed his hand over his face and wiped away the tears harshly. He wasn’t giving up. He would _never_ give up. Not on Frank. Frank was his reason for living. He was the only thing that made him feel like the world wasn’t spinning out of control. He needed to come up with a plan on how to find Frank. He needed to go back home and stabilize himself so he could figure out what he was going to do to get Frank back.

Quickly, since Gerard realized that it was basically pointless for him to be out on the road searching for the old truck, he found a place that he was able to turn around and began to drive back to his house. He was driving a little recklessly, he had to admit, but he really couldn’t find it in him to care. He had to get to his house as fast as possible.

_________________________

Frank was leaning against the door trying to zone out and forget where he was, but his eyes kept darting back to the gun. He just couldn’t get over it. That gun could kill him so quickly and easily. He just had to do _one_ thing wrong and his life could be over just like that. It was terrifying. He felt much more anxious than he had when Gerard had kidnapped him. Gerard had only tied him up. He had never kept a gun in his lap or threatened to kill him. The worst Gerard had ever done was hit him, but it was only because he had provoked it. He knew that Gerard felt bad about doing it, but this man would have absolutely no remorse for any damage that he caused to Frank.

Frank could feel his stomach sink even lower when he realized just how much trouble he was in, and he didn’t know if Gerard would be able to save him this time. He pulled into himself and shoved his hands between his thighs as he tried to make himself as small as possible. He just wanted to disappear, snuggling down into the oversized leather jacket that Gerard had let him borrow. He wanted to be back with Gerard. He thought about where he could be right then if this man hadn’t kidnapped him. He could be in his car on the way back to Gerard’s house, just sitting in comfortable silence or maybe making some light conversation with him. It didn’t matter. All Frank knew was that it would be much more pleasant than being where he was now.

As Frank looked out the window, he noticed that they were moving farther and farther from the city. The tall buildings slowly thinning out and growing shorter until there were eventually no buildings at all. There was just miles and miles of fields that passed them, only the occasional house that Frank wished he could run to and scream for help. But he was trapped in a truck that was going way too fast on the country road and it would be stupid to try to get out of it right then. Of course, Frank honestly figured that cracking his head open on the pavement would be much better than to go home with this creep.

God, Frank began to feel worse and worse the farther they drove from the city. He just knew that it was putting more distance between him and Gerard. He knew that it would make it even harder for the man to find him now. He didn’t think that he was going to actually be able to now. Frank just wasn’t able to be sure of anything anymore. He just hoped he was wrong though. Gerard wouldn’t give up on him, would he?

It was about forty minutes later that they turned down small dirt road, though it wasn’t enclosed by thick trees like the dirt road that lead to Gerard’s house was. All that surrounded it were empty fields with no houses in sight. Frank got the feeling that they were nearly there. Of course this man had to live somewhere that was far from civilization as well. He couldn’t just happen to live in the city where Frank would have a better opportunity to try to get help if he escaped.

Eventually, they pulled up to a house that appeared to be rather old. It was about the same size as Frank’s own home, though it was a lot more rundown and just slightly smaller. The yard wasn’t kept at all, the grass only growing in small patches and the parts that actually _grew_ were brown. The shudders on the windows were barely hanging on by a nail and the paint was faded and pealing. It looked just like a place that he would expect the slimy man sitting next to him to live at. As the truck pulled to a stop in the dirt driveway, Frank could hear the gears grinding as the truck was shifted into park, and the vehicle lurched forwards for a second before stopping all the way.

“Get out.” The man’s gruff voice filled the cab of the truck as he instructed Frank on what to do. “Don’t even _think_ about trying to run away. I’ll put a bullet into your head before you even take two steps.” He warned.

Frank swallowed thickly and nodded silently to show that he understood before he started to open the door. The hinges squealed harshly as he pushed it forwards and stepped out, his shoes crunching on the old gravel once they landed on the ground. It didn’t take long for the man to step around the front of the truck and point the gun at him. “Let’s get inside.” He instructed as he waved the gun in the direction of his house. Frank hated how loose he seemed to be with the weapon. The fear of the gun accidentally going off nearly suffocated him as he started to walk towards the decrepit house.

Frank winced slightly as he began to step up the stairs and the old wood creaked loudly. The state of the outside of the house had him quite concerned for what the interior of the house would be like. He was certain that this man didn’t really care enough to keep it clean. This man didn’t seem to care about _anything_ really. The boy watched as the gun was tucked away into the man’s waistband once he moved to unlock the door, his eyes not leaving it for a second. He just wished that he knew if he would be fast enough to be able to grab the gun from him. He had no idea what kind of reflexes this guy had though. He might be the worlds fastest sharp shooter or something and Frank would end up getting killed within a millisecond.

The door opened loudly, the rusted over hinges practically screaming with the movement. “Inside.” The man instructed simply. Frank stared down at the floor as he shuffled inside, a tattered old rug being the first thing he saw as he entered the house. He was certain that at one point in that rugs life, it had been clean and pristine. He briefly wondered about what all the tiny rug had gone through to make it end up looking like a filthy rag. Frank was interrupted from his train of thought when he was suddenly shoved forwards and he nearly fell to the floor. “Get moving, boy.” The man’s irritated voice called out from behind him, and the cold end of the gun was pressed into his lower back.

Frank breathed out a soft yelp and he quickened his pace. He didn’t exactly know where he was supposed to go, so he just made his way into the tiny living room and stood beside the couch. He risked a glance up to the other man, his eyes filled with fear as he worried his lower lip between his teeth. “W-What d-do you want me t-to do?” He asked shyly, his hands moving to clasp behind his back. He made sure to keep his head bowed respectively. He didn’t want to do anything to upset the other man, it turned out to be the wrong thing to do when the man suddenly swung a hand and smacked him hard across the face.

“You need to look at me when you’re talking to me. Don’t act like you’re scared of me.” He demanded, even though he liked the fear in Frank’s eyes. He just wanted to mess with the boy. He wanted to make him confused on how to act so he would do something wrong again just so he could punish him.

Frank felt tears well up in his eyes as he brought a hand up to rub at his reddening skin to soothe it. He didn’t dare let them fall, though. He couldn’t let this man have the satisfaction of making him cry. “I-I’m Sorry.” He whispered, looking up and making eye contact even though he really didn’t want to.

The man’s lip curled up in a small snarl and he raised an eyebrow up expectantly. “You’re sorry, _who?_ ” He insisted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Frank curled into himself slightly and glanced to the floor for a moment before gathering enough nerve to speak again. “I-I’m sorry, S-Sir.” He corrected himself as he looked away again. He never liked calling anyone Sir or Ma’am unless it was his own choice. But now that there was a _gun_ in the equation, Frank felt like he didn’t really _have_ much of a choice.

“That’s much better.” The man stated, adjusting his belt as he moved to sit down on the musty couch. “Sit down. There’s no point in standing.” He instructed coldly.

“Yes, Sir.” Frank murmured and shuffled closer to the couch to sit down. As soon as he got situated on one of the lumpy cushions, he was suddenly shoved off of it roughly and he landed to the floor with a harsh thud, causing him to wince in pain.

“Not on the couch. You have to _earn_ it.” The man stated as he looked down at Frank with disgust. It made the boy feel absolutely worthless. Gerard had never looked at him like that before. He had always looked at him like he was the most important thing in the room. Frank felt as though he could cry, but he didn’t. Instead he just decided to pick at the rotting wood of the old floor, using it as a way to distract him. He had no idea what was in store for him. He didn’t want to find out either. He just hoped this man didn’t want him for any sort of…sexual reasons. Frank knew that he wouldn’t let that happen. He would rather take a bullet to the gut then to let this man put his filthy hands all over him.

_________________________

Gerard pulled up to his house and quickly exited his car. He slammed his door shut and briskly made his way to his door. He was overwhelmed with a sense of unfathomable rage and pain. There were so many things racing through his mind. So many different scenarios of what he was going to do to that man once he found him. He couldn’t wait to make him pay. He couldn’t wait to end his fucking life. He briefly thought about how Frank was feeling at that moment. He wondered if that vile man had laid a hand on him. God, Gerard was going to rip that man’s fingers off and make him choke on them.

Gerard quickly shoved the key into the doorknob, unlocking it and bursting into his house with a heated growl. He didn’t want to waste any time before going back out and looking for Frank some more, but he needed to gather a few things. He couldn’t approach that man unprepared again. “God damn _motherfucker_.” He snarled under his breath as he stomped through his house. He angrily banged his fist against the walls as he walked by them every few steps as a way to expel his pent up rage. It didn’t work of course, but it didn’t stop Gerard from doing it. The side of his fist was raw, his usually pale skin now a bright red by the time he reached the door he needed to get to.

He flipped through the keys on his key ring to find the correct one that corresponded with the door, and quickly opened it. It was mostly an empty room, the floors and walls nearly completely desolate of any decoration or furniture. All except for a small safe that was situated on a desk in the far corner of the room. Gerard flicked the light on and made it to the desk in just a few long strides. He normally never went near the safe. He never really had a need for what was inside of it. But now that Frank was in danger, Gerard needed it more that ever.

Gerard entered the combination that he always had memorized just in case a moment like this should ever come along, and he reached inside. He pulled out a black pistol and a small box of bullets. The gun felt heavy in his hands. He never liked using them. They were too quick, loud, and much too impersonal. When he killed people, Gerard liked to take his time. The feeling of a blade dragging across someone’s skin, lacerating it and spilling blood from the wound was more pleasurable than a what a bullet could ever produce. He wasn’t going to kill this man using the gun, of course. The man that took Frank from him deserved to be tortured. He didn’t deserve a quick death that the gun would ensure. He was only bringing it as a precautionary measure. If he had to use it, he would make sure to hit the man to where it would only incapacitate him.

Once he made sure that it was loaded, Gerard shoved it into his belt behind his back and exited the room. He had to go get some of the other things he would need for what he was planning on doing. Gerard stepped down the stairs with the gun pressing snuggly against the base of his spine, feeling reassured that it was tucked away. Now he wasn’t going to be caught off guard by that man. He was going to show him that he wasn’t fucking messing around. That no one was allowed to take Frank from him.

Gerard bit down on his lip and winced as another jolt of pain shot through him once he reached the bottom of the steps. God, everything hurt so damn bad. He just wanted to feel better. He wanted all of his pain to go away, or at least to dull a little bit. Though, Gerard knew that he wouldn’t be getting any relief until Frank was standing there right in front of him. He wouldn’t ever feel better until he knew that the boy was safe and away from harm. What if it was already too late? What if that man had killed Frank and Gerard was never going to get to see him again?

Gerard hunched over, his knees buckling as he fell to the floor as he was no longer able to hold himself up for the moment. He was so fucking _scared._ He didn’t know what was happening to Frank and it was terrifying. Gerard hadn’t felt that kind of fear in a long time… _years_ actually. Nothing scared him anymore. He had no reason to be frightened of anything considering that he was the thing that people had to look out for. But when it came to Frank, the person that he loved with his entire being, all of that flew out of the window. He was the only thing that was able to effect him so intensely. So not knowing if he was okay or not was bound to frighten him.

Gerard grasped at his floor, whimpering softly in pain as it began to eat him up inside. He felt almost as if he could throw up again, his stomach churning violently while he just collapsed completely against the floor. He had never felt so weak before, never so helpless. It was terrible. It almost made him wish that death would just hurry up and take over him. But he couldn’t let that happen. Not while Frank was gone and in danger. He had to save him. It was all he was good for. That was his main purpose in life. All that mattered to him was keeping the boy safe and out of harms way. He was _certainly_ doing a great job of _that_.

A jolt of pain shot through him and he convulsed slightly against the floor, curling up into a ball as his hands grasped at nothing. Gerard screamed loudly. The sound of it was filled with pain and anguish as it echoed through his empty halls of his desolate house, before it trailed off into a noise that was so broken and pathetic, that Gerard couldn’t believe that it had actually came from him. The pain was just getting worse and worse. It was tearing through him violently and ripping him apart as he breathed in raggedly. He shouldn’t have thought about Frank getting killed. That’s what had triggered it to act up even more. He wasn’t able to help it though. Horrendous thoughts flashed over his mind before he was even able to stop them, and it was very detrimental to how the pain affected him.

To try to counter it, Gerard started to think about pleasant things that had to do with Frank. He closed his eyes shut tightly and wrapped his arms around himself as he imagined the boy pressing himself close to him. He tried to remember just how staggering the pleasure was when he had been able to press his lips to Frank’s own sweetly. It had been so perfect. It had been everything Gerard had ever dreamed of, and _better._ He remembered the way that Frank had actually kissed his throat while they were in the store together. He had been so shocked by it when it had happened, but it had made him feel so good. He had loved the way Frank’s delicate lips had mouthed along his sensitive skin, of course he had to stop it. They had been in the middle of shopping, it wouldn’t be good to continue. Although, Gerard wished that they had. He wished that he hadn’t cared where they were and just let Frank keep kissing his neck. He wondered how far they would have gone in the store. He wondered how far they would have gone once they got back home.

Gerard liked to have thought that maybe Frank would have wanted to kiss him even more when they got back. Maybe they could have done some…other things as well. He would’ve loved that, of course he would’ve been content if they just got back and cuddled or something like that instead. He would be happy as long as Frank was there with him. That’s all he really cared about.

Thinking about those kinds of things actually managed to help Gerard, much to his surprise. He managed to push himself back up onto his knees, his arms shaking and making him feel frail and weak. He hated it, but he was just glad he was able to move _at all_. A small huff was pushed out of the man’s lungs as he stood up, leaning against the wall for support until he was certain that he wasn’t going to fall down again. He was still in immense pain, of course. It was almost devouring his insides as he staggered down the hallway. He needed to try to think of what else he would need. He knew that he already had the tranquilizer and the syringes in his trunk, along with some rope and some gags. He didn’t really know what else he would need. He was pretty certain that was it. Well, that’s all he would need for the man that took Frank. He just needed to think of what he should bring for Frank when he found him.

Gerard limped towards his kitchen, his stab wound that Frank had given him before twinged with each step since he had sort of opened it up again from writhing on the floor. It hurt like shit, but in a way, it _helped_ him. He was able to focus on _that_ pain instead of the pain that swelled deep in his gut. Not to mention he was able to think about the fact that Frank was the one that had done it to him. Sure, it had upset him quite a bit when he had done it, but now it was just something to remind him of the boy. God, how obsessive was he to actually be fond of a stab wound? He didn’t care. It was the absolute _least_ of his worries. Being obsessive is what was going to help him _save_ Frank.

By the time he reached the kitchen he was panting shakily, the way he was hurting was really taking its toll on his body. He tugged open his refrigerator door with a huff, pulling his brows together as he leant down to reach for one of the water bottles that he kept stored on the lower shelf. He wanted to make sure that Frank had something to drink as soon as he got there. He knew how dangerous it could be to become dehydrated, and he needed to make sure that Frank was completely taken care of when he got him back. He knew that he was just wasting time the longer he stayed in his kitchen, so he quickly tucked the water bottle under his arm and strode as hurriedly as he was able to towards his front door.

He locked his house up behind him before he began to step to his car, thinking about how the fuck he was going to find Frank as it began to rain gently. He still hadn’t really come up with a plan; having been too busy gathering what all he thought he needed to really think about anything. But now, after he had sat in his car and placed the gun into the seat next to him, he didn’t know what the hell he was going to do. “Fuck.” Gerard hissed in irritation. He tossed his head back against the headrest and groaned up angrily at the roof of the car, clinching his eyes shut tightly as he tried to focus on what he was able to do.

He began to dig his nails into his thighs, frustration building up inside of him as he moved to tug harshly at his hair instead. That’s when he suddenly figured out how he might be able to track the man down. Gerard pulled his hand away from his hair and began to chew on his nails, ripping them and spitting them out as he contemplated. That man had looked like so many of the people that he had killed before. They were all mostly drunk men from old, rundown bars. All of them disgusting people who made Gerard feel sick just from looking at them. Not to mention that the man had also reeked of alcohol. So much so that Gerard had been able to smell it wafting from him from a few yards away. So it was obvious that he had to frequent bars quite often. Though, he looked too grimy to visit any of the nicer, upscale bars. He looked like he would fit in with the seedier ones. The ones that smelled like piss and body odor and something else that you were never able to quite place.

There were only a few of those bars from the town that Frank was kidnapped from, so Gerard was going to visit all of them. He was going to question as many fucking people as he had to to get any sort of information he could on the man that took Frank. He couldn’t wait. He was already feeling riled up again. Just the thought of him made him feel overwhelmed with rage, and that’s what was going to keep him going other than his need to keep Frank safe.

Gerard exhaled a shaky breath, fluttering his eyes open against the pain that was swelling up again and jamming the key into the ignition. As soon as the engine was turned over, Gerard turned around and pulled out of his driveway, finally on his way to get to Frank.

_________________________

Frank eventually turned his gaze to the television even though he wasn’t interested in what was playing on the screen. He was curled into himself, his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around them. He wanted to make himself as small as possible. He wanted to be invisible and disappear into Gerard’s large leather jacket. Of course, that wasn’t actually possible to do, no matter how much the boy wished that it was. He Suddenly shuddered and flinched near violently when rough fingers began to run through his hair.

Frank ducked his head and turned to quickly look at the older man, a harsh frown tugging at his lips as he shifted away. “P-Please don’t touch me.” He asked quietly, his voice shaking slightly in fear for what the repercussions would be for speaking out of turn.

“What did you just say to me, boy?” The man asked, leaning forward to get closer to Frank as he looked down at him disapprovingly.

“I-I said, please don’t touch me.” Frank repeated even though he knew that he should have taken that opportunity to take it back. He felt his heart hammering in his chest as he got glared at, and he breathed a small whimper as the man stood up form the couch and stared down at him. He should have expected it, but it still came as a shock as he was hit again. The man’s rough hand smacked him against the side of his face hard enough to make his ears ring and he yelped quietly in pain.

“I’ll fucking touch you whenever I fucking want. Understand?”

Frank shook his head, cradling his cheek in his palm as it stung. “No.” He stated. He wasn’t going to let this man get what he wanted. He was sick of him acting like he _owned_ him.

“Oh, you’re gonna be a little bitch, now are you?” The man asked as he brought his hand down to smack Frank’s other cheek.

Frank winced in pain and crumpled down and curled up in the floor as a way to protect himself. “Just leave me alone!” He squealed desperately. He was so fucking terrified, his smaller frame shaking as he clinched his eyes shut tightly.

The man just growled lowly and delivered a swift kick to the part of Frank’s stomach that hadn’t been covered, laughing as it made the boy groan in pain. “You have no right telling me what to do. You’re not the one in charge.” He huffed out as he kicked Frank again. “You’re in _my_ house, so you have to listen to _my_ rules.”

Frank coughed and wheezed as the air was kicked out of his lungs forcefully. He didn’t fucking _want_ to be in this man’s house! He wanted to leave. He wanted Gerard to come save him. But he wouldn’t be able to, would he? At least, not this time. Frank had almost resigned himself to that fact as he was kicked again and he choked out a strangled noise. “Get up, _whore_.” Frank heard the man sneer at him. There was suddenly a sharp pain in his skull as his hair was grasped between the other man’s thick, dirty fingers, and he was yanked up to his knees.

Frank quickly moved his hands to try to pry at the man’s hand, but he was smacked again before he got anywhere with it. “W-What are you going to do?” Frank squeaked as he was tugged up and thrown down onto the filthy couch.

The man gave a smirk that caused Frank’s stomach to churn and he climbed onto the couch as well. He braced himself over the younger man and leaned in close, his rancid breath ghosting over Frank’s skin as he spoke, causing him to shudder. “You’re gonna finally make yourself useful for me.”

Frank began to squirm and shake his head. “W-What?!” He yelped. “G-Get off of me!” He demanded shakily as he tried to push at the man’s chest, grimacing at the way the fabric was damp from his sweat.

The man just shook his head and grabbed Frank’s wrists so he could pin them down above his head. “The more you try to stop me, the worse I’m gonna make it for you.” He said in a disgustingly thick voice. “So you might as well just let it happen.” He dipped his head down in an attempt to press his lips to Frank’s, but Frank had managed to quickly turn his head to the side.

He gave a disgusted shudder as he felt the man’s rough lips scraped against his jaw, and he began to grit his teeth. “Just get the fuck off of me!” He snarled, beginning to grow angry. Frank began to thrash his body, bucking his hips wildly as he tried to throw the man off of him. But this guy was heavy and much larger than Frank was, so it ended up being pointless as the man just used his free hand to pin Frank’s hips down. The boy was absolutely furious. He couldn’t believe this man thought that he had a right to do this to Frank. When he felt the man’s hand slide over from his hips to begin working at his fly, Frank had had enough. He wasn’t going to let this happen. He just fucking _wasn’t_.

Quickly, Frank started to writhe again, this time making his movements as violent and harsh as possible. “What the fuck are you doing?” The man asked as he shifted and moved his hands so he could try to get them placed somewhere that would actually keep the boy still, but doing so had been a mistake on his part. It allowed for Frank to move out of his grasp for just a moment. He took that opportunity to shift himself up just a little bit and bring his foot up to kick the man’s crotch roughly.

“I told you to get off of me, asshole!” Frank screamed as the man wheezed in pain once he kicked him again. He eventually rolled off of Frank and fell to the floor, cupping his crotch as he recovered.

“Oh, You’re gonna get it, you little _whore_.” The man growled, but Frank was already pushing himself off of the couch to run out of the room. He didn’t get far before he was suddenly tripped by the man sticking his leg out. Frank squeaked out a pathetic sound as he fell to the floor with a loud thud, groaning as his head hit against the floor harshly.

“Fuck…” He whined before huffing and trying to scrabble to get off of the floor to run for the door, but the man’s meaty hand wrapped around his ankle too quickly and yanked him back. “L-Let me go!” Frank screamed as he began to kick his other foot at this arm.

The man just dug his nails into Frank’s skin before pushing himself up and climbing over him, growling as he got kicked at. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Frank’s thrashing anymore. “When will you learn to fucking stop?!” He yelled as he began to swing his fists into Frank’s stomach, effectively knocking the wind out of his lungs, causing him to wheeze. “I can’t believe I have to deal with such a little bitch like you.” He grumbled.

Frank wanted to scream that he didn’t even want to be there. That _he_ was the one that had kidnapped him from Gerard and taken him there. It’s not like Frank was there by choice. Of course, Frank wasn’t able to voice any of that. He felt like he wasn’t even able to take in any air into his lungs as he was beat. Fuck, it was ruthless.

Finally the hits to his stomach stopped, but they just moved up to his face instead. His head snapped to the side with the force of the punches, his lip splitting open and swelling up as blood trickled out of the small wound. Fuck it _hurt_. “P-Please…” He stuttered out weakly, but the man didn’t stop. He just hit him again and again. He just wanted this to stop. He couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. Normally when he got in fights it was a little more fair for him. They were usually people that were his age and…well, not necessary the _same_ size considering that he was rather short, but they didn’t _loom_ over him like this guy did.

Frank’s vision eventually began to fade out around the edges, growing blurry as his ears began to ring. The pain was just overwhelming him so much that his face was starting to feel numb from it. He was certain that he was going to be covered in ugly bruises by the time it was over. Frank breathed an unintelligible noise of pain, attempting to plead for the man to stop, but it just sounded like a garble of sound as it got caught in his throat before he finally passed out. His body went completely limp. He would have looked completely lifeless if it wasn’t for his chest just barely rising and falling as he dragged in each shallow breath. The man seemed to be satisfied with the state he was in as he finally pulled off of him and stopped hitting him, his knuckles split open and raw.

_________________________

Gerard stepped out of his car, his boot splashing in a shallow puddle in the pavement as the cold night air ghosted over his skin. He glanced around for a moment to make sure there was no one watching him, but he realized that there weren’t really any people out there on the streets. It was rather late in the evening, the sun having dipped past the horizon already and dousing the world in the blanket of darkness. He looked up to see that the pale moon was shining down dully, dusting everything in a slivery light. That was the only illumination that he had to work with other than the slowly fading streetlamps. Gerard didn’t mind of course. He had worked with much less plenty of times before.

As he walked down the empty, dirty street, his boots scuffing against the uneven sidewalks every few steps, Gerard began to make his way towards one of the more shady bars that were in town. The cold air was nipping at his skin as he walked against the slight breeze. As he shuddered slightly and tightened his jacket around himself, he was just thankful that it wasn’t still raining.

It wasn’t that much longer until Gerard finally reached one of the bars that he was planning to go to tonight. There was a neon sign that flickered and buzzed loudly as he got closer to the door, indicating that it was still open. Once he stepped past the threshold, the smell of alcohol and urine smacked him in the face. It was so strong that it caused Gerard to flinch slightly before continuing forwards in the direction of the bar. He grimaced once he leant against the bar and the sleeve of his jacket got caught in something sticky. He only hoped that it was just a spilled drink and not someone’s bodily fluid.

“How can I help you?” A rather large looking man said from behind the bar. He had a long beard that was half the length of his torso, the coarse hairs white and grey and looking like they hadn’t been cleaned in quite some time. That wasn’t important though. Gerard was there for a reason, and it _wasn’t_ to judge the appearance of the bartender.

“I’m looking for someone.” He said in a hushed tone, causing the other man to lean in close so he could hear him.

“I see.” Hummed the bartender in a gruff voice, his untamed eyebrow raising in slight interest. “And who exactly are you looking for?”

Gerard didn’t really know the man’s name. All he knew was his appearance and the kind of vehicle he drove. So that’s what he started with. “I don’t know his name.” He began simply. “But I can tell you all of the information that I have on him.” He offered, fingers beginning to twitch and drum against the dirty surface of the bar.

“Go ahead.” Nodded the other man, his grey eyes glancing down to Gerard’s pale fingers for a moment. He just figured that he was just another junkie looking for his next fix. A lot of those kinds of people found their way to that bar. All he knew was that he was going to make Gerard give him some sort of payment before actually giving him any information.

Gerard cleared his throat before swallowing thickly. He hated even _thinking_ about the man that had taken Frank, but he had to. He had to think of every single detail that he had taken in when he saw him. “He was about my height, only a little bit taller.” Gerard began, looking down at one of the dirty barstools as he tried to recall everything. “He was a little heavyset, probably weighing around two sixty at the least if I had to guess. His hair was a strawberry blond, though not much of it was growing around the top of his head, most of it was on the sides and the back.” He recollected as he glanced back up to the bartender before he continued. “He had sort of a deep, almost raspy voice. There was a slight southern drawl when he spoke as well. The only other thing I can remember about his appearance was that he had a goatee and faded tattoo sleeves.” He said as the other man raised his eyebrow at him again.

“I also happen to remember that he drives an old, blue Ford Ranger.” Gerard added just in case that would help. “It was pretty beat up and the hood looked like it had been rusted over for years.”

The bartender just looked at Gerard, wondering how he remembered all of that. He really must want to find him. But the man that he was describing actually sounded quite familiar. He was certain that he had seen someone that had fit that description come in there a few times. He was just about to tell Gerard that he could help him, but only for a generous fee. He was pretty certain that this man would be willing to pay whatever he wanted. He seemed desperate enough. Just as he opened his mouth, though, someone interrupted him.

“Why that sounds like Randal.” Some dude that was sitting next to them on one of the old stools piped up. Gerard hadn’t even noticed that he was sitting there before, much less listening in to his conversation. He really needed to stay sharper, but it was hard to do when he was so focused on finding Frank. This man was kind of skinny, his clothes sort of too big and hanging of of his smaller frame. He had dusty brown hair, his eyes a darker brown with bags hanging under them. He definitely appeared to be hooked on some sort of drug.

“Who?” Gerard said quickly, turning to face this man with an intense gaze. He barely noticed the bartender give a huff of resignation, realizing that he wasn’t going to be getting any money out of him now.

“Randal.” The new guy repeated simply. “He comes here sometimes.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

Gerard moved in closer, nearly towering over him. “Where can I find him?” He demanded in a low, dangerous tone, showing that he wasn’t in the mood to play around.

The man had the nerve to smirk at Gerard, and he dragged his eyes over his body with intent. “Maybe I can tell you if you…give me something in return.” He licked his lips and Gerard had to hide his disgusted shudder.

Instead, Gerard just moved closer, forcing his own teasing smile onto his lips. “I know that the alleyway out back isn’t busy…” He purred, using his best sultry voice as he lifted his hand to trail his index finger over the man’s chest. He didn’t want to touch him at all, but he had to. He had to find Frank. “Maybe I could give you something out there, hm?”

The man immediately went breathless, wordlessly nodding quickly as he pushed himself from the barstool. He couldn’t believe that he had actually gotten someone like _Gerard_ to agree to that. He couldn’t wait to see him on his knees. He glanced back to make sure that Gerard was still following him as he made his way out to the back alleyway. “Alright, sugar, what are you gonna give me.” He said with a smirk once they got outside. He was already fiddling with his belt buckle to get it undone, but he stopped when he heard the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking right behind him.

“The only thing I’m gonna give you, _sweetheart_ , is a bullet inside your fucking brain if you don’t tell me where I can find Randal.” Gerard sneered before grabbing the man by the back of his shirt and pushing him up against the wall, pinning him down effectively. He pressed the cold end of the gun right at the base of the other man’s skull, digging the metal into the skin harshly.

“I-I-I don’t k-know where he i-i-is.” The man stammered out. His heart was racing, hammering wildly in his chest as his face scraped against the rough bricks.

“What?!” Gerard snapped, pushing the gun against him even harder. “What the _hell_ do you mean you don’t know where he is?” He was fucking furious. This man had just been trying to use him to get a quick blowjob or something, but honestly Gerard wasn’t surprised. He had already known that he was a piece of shit just by looking at him, but he was still extremely upset.

The man hissed in pain before breathing a small whimper. “W-Well, I mean I-I don’t know w-where he _lives_ , b-but I know s-s-someone who _does_.” He explained as he just tried not to do anything that would get him shot.

Gerard calmed down only slightly, but he didn’t release any of the pressure off of the gun. “Tell me _right fucking now_.” He snarled angrily.

“H-His name is Jim!” The man squealed. “He’s working tonight over at Harvey’s. Y-Y’know, the bar a couple of blocks down the road.” He spilled out shakily. He kept his eyes closed tightly as he anticipated for Gerard to just pull the trigger.

Gerard went silent. He knew the bar that he was talking about. It was a lot seedier than this place was, which was kind of a feat considering that this bar was disgusting. Finally Gerard exhaled quietly and pulled the gun away. While he would have loved to kill this man, he didn’t have time to do clean up and hide all of the evidence. Besides, the gun would be too loud and he knew that someone would come out of the bar and see him. “If I find out that you’re lying to me, I _will_ come back. And this time, I wont fucking hesitate to end you’re miserable little life. _Understand_?” He warned as he leaned in close to the other man’s ear, causing him to shudder with fear.

The man had absolutely no doubts that Gerard meant what he said. The way that he spoke about it actually sounded like he had done this before. He wouldn’t be surprised. “Yes.” He whimpered.

“Good.” Gerard stated before pulling back and slamming the handle of the pistol against the back of the other man’s head. It knocked him out quickly, his body slumping forwards against the wall before sliding down onto the filthy ground. Gerard sneered at his unconscious body and gave him a swift kick to the gut, spitting on him before turning away and moving to leave the alley. He peeked his head around the corner of the building, inspecting the empty streets to make sure that no one had seen him. He was pleased to see that there was no one around and he tugged his collar back up before slinking out onto the sidewalk.

_________________________

Randal stood up from where Frank lied on the floor, nudging him with his boot a little angrily. “Fuckin’ slut.” He grunted before limping slightly to his tiny kitchenette, his crotch still rather sore from where Frank had kicked him. He pulled open one of the drawers, growling with frustration as it got stuck from how much was shoved inside of it. He really was not in the fucking mood for this. “God damn piece of shit, drawer.” He grumbled before yanking it especially hard, eventually jarring it loose. He reached into it and dug through the multiple miscellaneous items before pulling out a roll of silver duct tape. He wasn’t going to deal with Frank acting out anymore. He was going to keep him restrained from now on.

Randal staggered back over to the unconscious figure that was passed out in front of his couch and kneeled beside him. He grabbed the boy’s arms harshly, grunting as he pinned Frank’s arms behind his back before he began to wrap sturdy duct tape around his wrists tightly. He wanted there to be no chance of him getting out of it. Once he made sure that it was nice and secure, he moved down to tape Frank’s ankles together as well, that way he wouldn’t be able to try to get away again. Randal had been lucky that he had thought fast enough to trip him. He knew that he wouldn’t have been able to run as fast as Frank probably could since he was much older and a little hindered by his weight. The only way he had managed to catch him the _first_ time out in the parking lot of that store was because he had caught him by surprise. He didn’t have that advantage anymore.

Frank groaned softly just as Randal finished up with his ankles, just barely fading back into consciousness. “How’s your head?” He heard the other man sneer tauntingly, and as if on cue his head began to throb violently.

“Fuck.” Frank hissed and clinched his eyes shut tightly against the pain. He moved to rub at his forehead but he fretfully realized that his hands had been bound together behind his back. As he began to squirm uselessly, he heard Randal’s disgusting laugh.

“You won’t be getting out of that anytime soon, boy.” The man informed with a rather pleased looking smirk tugging at his cracked lips. “Maybe if you hadn’t acted like such a brat then you would still be allowed to move freely.”

Frank wanted to retort and tell him that he could go to fucking hell, but each time he took in a breath that was a little too deep, he felt a sharp pain his his abdomen. He was actually a little worried that he had internal damage from when Randal had attacked him. So the only thing that he could really do was whine pathetically. He absolutely hated how weak it made him feel. He used to take pride in the fact that he was a good fighter. He used to purposefully get into little scraps and brawls just because he was bored, and he usually won them too. But Randal was too large and solid, he wasn’t able to fight against him as easily.

“Look at how _weak_ you are. You’re so defenseless and helpless against me.” The man snickered. Randal could really get used to having someone like Frank around. Sure, he was troublesome and liked to talk back, but he was pretty enough to make up for it. Randal licked his lips to wet them as he bent down to grab around Frank’s waist.

Frank twisted in the other man’s grasp. “L-Let go of me!” He wheezed even though it hurt to yell.

“Calm down, you ungrateful pig.” Randal snarled. “I’m moving you onto the couch. God, I can’t believe how fuckin’ whiny you are.” He grumbled as he lifted Frank up and dropped him down onto the ratty cushions.

Frank winced, closing his eyes in pain again. His back twinged sharply once he was tossed onto the couch carelessly. He had no idea why he was allowed on the couch now. Maybe it was because he was tied up and unable to really do anything. Besides, even if he _wasn’t_ tied up, he was sure that he was in too much pain to even try anything anyways. Either way, Frank knew that Randal wasn’t letting him on the couch just to be nice. Once he opened his eyes again, the boy noticed that the other man was staring at him, but it wasn’t at his face. It was just a little bit lower, right below his jaw. He almost wanted to ask what the hell he was looking at, but he realized that that would only result in him getting hit again.

“You know, I had noticed those little bruises on your neck earlier...” Randal leered as he raised an eyebrow with interest.

Frank breathed in a soft gasp as he realized what Randal was talking about. His mind flashed back to how he had gotten them. He remembered the way that Gerard’s hot mouth had felt against his skin, making his entire body feel like it was on fire as his teeth scraped over his throat. Fuck, he would give anything to be with Gerard instead of where he was now. He knew that Gerard cared about him, and if he was being honest with himself, Frank actually…missed him. He missed him a lot. “What about them?” Frank dared to ask, his voice sounding thick as he felt a little choked up.

“Who gave them to you?” Randal asked as he shifted to turn his body towards Frank.

Frank closed his mouth into a thin line as he glared at him. He didn’t want to talk about Gerard with him. “No one.” He stated simply.

“Oh?” Randal grinned, his yellowing teeth on display. “You don’t want to talk about them?” He tilted his head to the side and hummed. “I bet it was that guy I took you from, wasn’t it? _Gerard_ was it? I remember you screaming his name desperately.” He laughed delightedly.

Tears began to well up in Frank’s eyes, his nose burning as his lower lip trembled. Hearing Gerard’s name out loud actually caused emotions to swell up inside of him. It made him think back to the way he had looked as he stood in that parking lot. He looked so fucking upset. He looked miserable, just like Frank had. God, where was he? Was he looking for him? Was he ever going to find him? Frank knew Gerard wouldn’t give up on him, right? “Please stop.” Frank whispered brokenly.

“Aw, did I hit a nerve, sweetheart?” Randal cooed tauntingly. He was just having way too much fun.

Frank felt sick to his stomach as that normally affectionate name slipped out of the other man’s lips. The last person that had called him that had been Gerard, and he wanted to keep it that way. “Don’t call me that.” He insisted, his eyes flickering down to the stained up cushions.

“You and I both know that I’m going to call you whatever the hell I want.” Randal snapped before he calmed down. “How about I help you forget about this…Gerard. Hm?” He asked in a faux sweet tone.

Frank shook his head. He didn’t want to forget about Gerard. Gerard was the one that was going to save him. He had do. Gerard had promised to keep him safe. “No.”

Randal didn’t listen though. He didn’t care about what Frank wanted. “Come on. Don’t be like that. I only want to help.” He lied as he began to move closer to the boy.

“Please don’t.” Frank begged as he tried to shuffle away, but it was rather difficult to do since he was tied up. Randal was able to move much quicker than he was, and he was soon pressing Frank up against the arm of the couch. Frank could smell his rancid breath as he leaned in close and began to bite at his throat. A revolted shudder ran through him and he began to struggle against the other man to try to push him off.

“Quit moving.” Randal commanded as he grabbed Frank’s shoulders to hold him down. He began to bite over the bruises that Gerard had left there, making the marks deeper and replacing them with his own. He just wanted to take everything from Frank, and this was just a way for him to start.

Frank began to cry. The tears finally spilled over and trailed hotly down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He was devastated that this man was actually doing this to him. Frank closed his eyes and tried to imagine that it wasn’t Randal that was sucking on his throat. He tried to pretend that it was Gerard doing it again, but it was so hard to do. He could smell Randal’s body odor shrouding him since he was so close. He didn’t smell the same way that Gerard did. Gerard smelled like stale coffee and old cigarettes and like the woods after a heavy rain, but there was always just a hint of something indescribable yet still soothing underlying it. It made Frank feel warm, but Randal’s smell just caused him to feel sick to his stomach. What also made it hard for him to pretend, was that Randal was being so harsh. He was digging his teeth into his throat carelessly and just doing it to mark him up. Gerard had been so gentle with him. He had kissed over each little mark he made once he bit down a little too hard. He had actually _cared_ , yet Frank hadn’t appreciated it at the time.

After what seemed like an eternity, Randal finally pulled back with his lips shining with his spit. God he looked so disgusting. “That look’s much better.” He hummed smugly. Frank just wanted to die. “Now, what else can we do?” He questioned as he looked down at Frank’s mouth.

“No. p-please.” Frank pleaded once he realized what the other man was thinking, but he went ignored as Randal pushed himself forwards and began to press his lips against the boy’s tightly closed mouth. Frank felt like he could honestly puke, his stomach churning violently as he tried to shake his head back and forth.

Randal wasn’t having it. He grabbed Frank’s hair and held his head still and pressed more firmly against him. Frank whimpered with disgust before finally opening his mouth, but it wasn’t for the reason that Randal had thought. Instead, Frank quickly brought his teeth down against the other’s lower lip, tearing into it effectively and drawing blood. “Ow! Holy _shit_!” Randal shouted as he pulled back, his hand flying up to cover his mouth. Frank knew that he was going to get it, but he would rather get the shit kicked out of him than to have to kiss this horrid man anymore.

Frank wasn’t really given anymore time to react before a fist was suddenly flying towards his face. It slammed against his jaw, nearly dislocating it in the process. He just let it happen though. He wasn’t able to really do anything to stop him anyways since he was tied up. Frank closed his eyes as he was hit over and over again, pain erupting all over his face as he could only just bear through it. Randal was screaming at him, spitting his blood everywhere, but Frank didn’t even notice it. Hell, it was hard to really pay attention to _anything_ when you were getting the shit beat out of you.

Once Randal was finished, he threw Frank onto the floor, the boy’s face littered with fresh bruises and marks. He stood up from the couch, stepping over Frank’s limp body to go get the duct tape again. He was tired of Frank and the way he kept mouthing off, so he was going to make sure he didn’t have to hear him anymore. Once he knelt down next to him, Frank’s eyes fluttered open so he could look up at Randal. “W-What are you doing?” He croaked as he saw the duct tape again.

“I’m gonna make you finally shut up.” Randal answered, his lip throbbing in pain from where Frank bit him. He didn’t give the boy any more time before he ripped off a piece of the silver tape and pushed it down to flatten over Frank’s swollen and bloody mouth. Frank didn’t even try to stop him now. He was hurting too much to really care, and he was already beginning to fade out of consciousness again.

Frank just let his eyes fall closed as he felt Randal’s hands grabbing him under his arms. He could tell that he was getting dragged somewhere, but he couldn’t tell where. He couldn’t find the energy to even think about anything right then. He only opened his eyes when he seemed to stop moving and could hear a door being opened. He glanced up to see that it revealed a rather small looking closet that was in the middle of the hallway. Frank was abruptly thrown down into it, falling down on his side as his head slammed against the floor. “I’m gonna keep you in here until I think of a way that you can make yourself useful to me.” Randal sneered, but Frank could barely hear him over the ringing in his ears. All he did was just give a shaky nod and the door was swiftly slammed shut, shrouding Frank in darkness.

Normally Frank hated it when it was dark, but right then he needed it. It allowed him to escape mentally and try to forget where he was. He tried to pretend that he was just lying down in Gerard’s bed and he was safe. He pretended that he would be able to just call out Gerard’s name and his sleepy voice would float out into the air, asking if he was okay. Frank didn’t even realize that he wasn’t even thinking about being back _home_. Back with his parents and his friends. He was just extremely grateful that Gerard’s jacket hadn’t been taken away from him. The smell of the older man was wafting up to him as he tried to snuggle into it the best he could with his arms taped behind his back. It managed to comfort him greatly. It smelled so soothing and familiar. He only wished that he was able to smell it coming from the actual person instead of just the jacket, but this was much better than nothing.

_________________________

Gerard shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, balling them into tight fists in an attempt to get them to stop twitching as violently. The rain was starting to pick up again as he walked down the dark street. Tiny drops sprinkled down against his face before they became heavier and began to soak his hair. Gerard hadn’t even thought about wearing a jacket that had a hood on it. He was much to preoccupied with trying to find Frank to even think about himself. He huffed out a sigh as he shook his head to try uselessly to fling the water from the white strands. It was completely pointless as the rain continued to fall down onto him and just soaked it again.

He could already hear the rowdy voices ringing out from down the block as a group of drunk older men stumbled out of the bar he was heading to. He really wasn’t looking forward to having to actually go inside of there, but he knew that it would be worth it to get more information on Randal. He made sure to keep his head lowered as he got closer. He didn’t want anyone to really see his face. Sure, having white startling white hair would be easily recognizable, but if he needed to at some point, he could just dye it. Then no one would really have anything else to go off of. He figured that the people there would really be too drunk to notice him anyways, but he still wanted to be careful.

A rusted bell tinkled above his head once he pushed the door open. He grimaced as the smell of this bar was much worse than the last one had been. It was enough to almost make Gerard’s stomach churn. He was lucky he had emptied it out earlier or else he would be a little bit worried that he might vomit again. He shook his head and walked up to the crowded bar, gritting his teeth as he had to wait for a space to open up enough so he could push past everyone. Once he managed to get up to the bar, he had to wait for the bartender to notice him since he had been to distracted by some women at the moment. It was nerve wracking. Gerard wanted to just scream and yell for attention so he could hurry the fuck up and get to Frank. As each second passed by, Gerard grew more and more worried for the state that the boy could be in.

Finally, fucking _finally_ , the bartender turned to him and asked what he wanted. “I’m looking for Jim.” He stated, his fingers digging into his palms.

The man looked him over and frowned. “Why are you looking for _me_?” He asked as he crossed his muscular arms over his chest.

Gerard was glad that he wouldn’t have to search for Jim any longer, it just made everything so much more easier for him. Of course, that is if Jim actually _complied_. “I was told you know the whereabouts of someone I’m trying to find. He took something important from me and I want it back.” He informed the other as he tried to avoid actually coming in contact with the surface of the bar since it looked a lot dirtier than the other one had.

“I might be able to help.” Jim grunted. “Just depends on who it is you’re lookin’ for.”

“His name is Randal. I don’t know his last name, but he drives this beat up old Ford Ranger if that helps.” Gerard offered up as he just hoped that this man would help him. Gerard didn’t exactly know how he would be able to get the information out of him if he didn’t want to help. He couldn’t exactly take him out back since he was busy manning the bar, and he couldn’t just pull a gun on him either because he knew for a fact that over half of the people in the bar also had some sort of weapon on them.

“Oh _Randal_.” Jim said with disdain. “Yeah, I know that bastard. He conned me out of a shit ton of money that he still hasn’t paid back.” He huffed as he picked up a glass to begin wiping it down. “What are you plannin’ on doin’ once you find him?” He asked with his eyebrow raised in interest.

Gerard was grateful that Jim seemed to hate Randal as well, and it appeared that he was going to actually help him out. But Gerard didn’t want to tell Jim what he was actually planning on doing to that loathsome fool once he got his hands on him, so he just lied. “I’m going to take back what’s mine and rough him up just a little bit in return.” He answered as he began to chew on his lower lip in anticipation. He needed to know if Jim was going to help him out or not already. He felt the knot in his stomach relax slightly once Jim chuckled.

“That sounds like a good plan.” He laughed. “Tell you what. I’ll give you his address if you promise to throw in a few punches on my behalf.” Jim offered as he grabbed an old receipt from beside the register and picked up a pen.

“I definitely have no problem with that.” Gerard replied. He couldn’t describe how thankful he was as he watched Jim scrawl out an address on the back of the receipt. It was a little unbelievable to him that it had actually worked out so easily for him. He took the worn out piece of paper from Jim and gave him a nod. “Thank you.” He said earnestly.

“Nah, I should be thanking _you_. That little rat deserves to get the shit kicked out of him for once.” Jim laughed as he shook his head. He gave Gerard a little wave which Gerard returned before he walked out of the bar into the night air again. Jim turned out to be a much better guy than he had expected. He had been worried that he would be a creep like the guys at the other bar, but he really helped him out. He was the only person that Gerard didn’t hate other than Frank now, because it will be because of him that he would be able to get to the boy.

Gerard squinted in the low light of the buzzing streetlamp to try to read the address that was written down. He had to use his other hand to shield the paper from the rain so the ink wouldn’t run. Once he had it figured out and knew where he was going to be heading, he shoved the paper into his pocket and began to walk in brisk strides in the direction of his car. He had about an hour long drive ahead of him. The address placed Randal way out in the countryside, probably away from any other houses. He hated that he had Frank somewhere so isolated. Sure, Gerard kept Frank with him a couple of miles deep in the woods, but that was with _him_. Frank wasn’t in any real danger when he was with him. Gerard knew that he could never truly harm him, not severely. He only ever did anything to him when he really misbehaved, but he knew that Randal would probably overdo it. He would probably just hurt Frank just for fun.

That last thought drove Gerard mad. He was so fucking furious, but he needed to be furious. He needed to be angry and pissed off. It was the only thing that was helping him overcome the pain that was trying to destroy him from the inside out. It pushed him to keep walking down the slick sidewalks no matter how easy it would be for him to just collapse and fall to the ground.

_________________________

Frank was fading in and out of consciousness every few minutes, his body aching too much for him to properly fall asleep. It was nearly impossible to find a comfortable position anyway with how his arms were placed behind him. He thought back fondly to how obviously concerned Gerard had become once he realized that his shoulders were hurting from when he had tied him up. He had even given him a _massage_ for God’s sake. How could he have ever doubted the fact that Gerard had cared about him. He had seemed to do whatever he could to try to make Frank feel comfortable, unless he acted out. He didn’t blame him, of course. He had only ever done anything to him when Frank had hurt Gerard first.

He didn’t know how long he had been lying there in the cramped closet. He was just glad that the smell of Gerard’s jacket overcame the scent of mold and mildew or else he would be feeling a lot worse than he already did. He already had quite a bit of a headache. It was beginning to throb right between his eyes as if someone was driving a nail into his skull. It was probably from how much he had been knocked around that day. His brows pulled together in discomfort as he groaned, the noise muffled by the silver tape. He just wanted to leave. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t appreciated how much he had lucked out to be kidnapped by Gerard first. He had thought that he was a terrible person at first. He had expected him to hurt him and to try to use him. But of course, he didn’t. _This_ guy, however, _did_.

He was much worse than Gerard could ever be. He was completely malicious and sadistic towards him. He didn’t care about him at all. The only thing that mattered to him was getting pleasure for himself. Frank shuddered slightly at the thought of what the man would try to make him do when he took him out of the closet again. Though, hopefully it would be a long time from now. He knew he had been locked in there as a punishment, but it didn’t work. Since the closet had been so small, he wasn’t as frightened of something being out in the room just watching him seeing as he was able to stretch out to feel each of the walls. So he knew that there was no space for anything else to be in there with him. Not to mention that Frank would much rather endure the fear that he had when Gerard had trapped him in his basement than to be around this disgusting man for one more second. Because when he had been in Gerard’s basement, he had known to some extent that none of that had been real. Randal, however, was real. He was there and he had physically abused him and injured him. Fake shadow creatures were much less frightening than him.

Frank exhaled heavily through his nose, closing his eyes and trying again to just forget where he was. He was trying to understand what he had done to deserve this. He couldn’t think of even one thing that would be significant enough to make karma decide that he should get kidnapped not only _once_ , but _twice_. Maybe this was life’s idea of a sick and twisted joke. Maybe Frank was meant to rot and decay in some creep’s closet for his body to be chopped up and eaten by him so he would never be found again. That seemed to be where everything was headed. Well, maybe not _eaten_ , but you can’t blame Frank for figuring that’s what would happen. A whole bunch of crazy and terrible things had happened to him already, so why not up the ante?

_________________________

Gerard scanned each sign on the side of the road, looking at each mailbox to try to find the correct address as he sped down the country road. He was glad that there weren’t any cars driving on it as well as him. He didn’t have time to get stuck behind someone that was driving too slow. He was too desperate to get to Frank. Too desperate to fucking give Randal what he deserved.

Gerard suddenly slammed on the breaks when he saw the numbers that corresponded with the address scribbled on the old receipt. He lurched forwards slightly as the car finally slowed down enough for him to make the turn without over shooting it and landing in the ditch. It was a rough dirt road, much like his own driveway, though this one looked much more worn out.

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, splashing the previously dark sky with bright hues of orange and pink. The golden rays began to cut through the mist, making the fields almost glisten from the way the sun reflected from the dew covered grass.  Gerard would have stopped to think about how beautiful it was had he not been too preoccupied. His mind was in a much darker place, contrasting heavily with the vibrant and dazzling surroundings. He was thinking about death. About torture and pain and how he was going to make Randal pay for what he had done. He was going to skin him alive.

Gerard shut his headlights off as he saw a small house in the distance, slowing his speed to try to make less noise as he drove. It was hard to do since the driveway was so rough, the gravel crunching under his tires. He ended up shutting the engine off quite a bit of ways from the tiny building, too cautious to drive any closer. He understood that if Randal decided to just glance out of his window then he would obviously be able to see him walking up to his home, but Gerard was willing to bank that he was passed out drunk. 

He picked up the gun from the passenger seat as he stepped out of his car, securing it in his waistband behind his back once again before he walked to his trunk. He had to make sure that he had a syringe ready to use. Once he got it situated and put the cap on it, Gerard placed it into the pocket on the inner lining of his coat and quickly stalked up to the decrepit building. Gerard silently crept up the old, wooden steps, making sure to keep himself out of the slivers of light that were pouring out from the filthy windows. He noticed that _everything_ about this man appeared to be dirty and unappealing. He pressed himself up against he wall and carefully peeked inside past the torn up blinds. He had to squint to see anything, but he could just make out a figure sitting passed out in a chair what appeared to be the living room. Gerard’s heart immediately began to race. Not with fear, but with pure, unfiltered rage. That was the man that took Frank from him. Gerard grit his teeth in anger and continued to glance around what he could see of the inside of the house. He felt his stomach sink when he couldn’t see Frank anywhere. His breathing began to pick up but he knew that he needed to calm down. He couldn’t accomplish anything if he wasn’t able to focus.

He continued to look at the man, watching as just sat on the couch and slept soundly as though he hadn’t taken someone extremely important to him. He was sleeping as if it was just a normal, average night for him. That just pissed Gerard off even further. How dare this man act as though Frank was just some simple, common person that he could just keep and treat like dirt. Frank deserved to be worshiped. He deserved to be loved and treated like royalty. Gerard was going to make sure that he was as soon as he got him back home. He promised himself that he would.

Gerard moved back away from the window after he was finished assessing everything inside and flattened himself against the wall again, giving himself just a few moments to think about what to do next. He glanced down at the door knob that was about two feet away. It looked old and rusted, just barely hanging on by the screws. The doorframe didn’t look too well either. The wood of it was rotten and decayed and nearly falling apart. That was a good thing, at least for _Gerard_ it was. While it would be much quieter for him to pick the lock, he knew that the rusted over hinges would give him away instantly with the way they would squeal. So he decided to go with the quicker way and just get it over with. As long as he was quick with his gun, it shouldn’t matter.

He quickly took a step back and braced himself, reaching behind him to grab the gun from his waistband and resting his finger on the trigger. He swallowed thickly, furrowing his brow as he readied himself. If this goes bad, he at least hoped that Frank would make it out okay. That is…if Frank was still _alive._ Gerard couldn’t think about that. It would throw him off. He needed to stay focused. Frank was okay. Frank was fine and Gerard was there to save him. “Fuck, okay.” He mumbled to himself. He couldn’t stall any longer. It was time to do this. It was time to get Frank back.

Gerard suddenly reared back and lifted his leg up, keeping the gun pointed down as he kicked right below the doorknob. The old door cracked and crashed open loudly, and Gerard hurriedly stepped inside.

_________________________

Frank jumped, startled by a sudden loud noise. The sound of a gunshot echoed through the small house and Frank cowered into the corner of the dark closet. He could hear a loud voice screaming out in pain. Another gunshot rang out and he could hear a muffled thump as something fell to the floor. What the fuck was happening? He could hear shouting, but it was too stifled and he was too disoriented to discern who it was and what they were saying. It was definitely two different voices though, he could tell that much. They seemed to be arguing. What if it was some guy that wanted money? What if the man that took him was just going to trade him off? He didn’t want that. How would Gerard ever find him if he didn’t even know who had him?! In the midst of his internal distress, the house suddenly went suspiciously quiet. Frank held his breath and listened intently, his ears straining to pick up any sound. It didn’t take long before he could hear something getting dragged across the floor. It sounded like something heavy, like a _body_. Normally Frank’s mind wouldn’t immediately jump to that conclusion, but so many things had happened to him lately that he wouldn’t be surprised. He just didn’t know _who_ it was. He could hear the sound of boots thudding against the wood in uneven paces as they dragged what Frank had decided was a lifeless corpse, before the house went quiet again.

Frank shifted himself to press against the door so he could get a better chance at hearing anything as the seconds went by. Were they gone? Who was it? Was it the man who had taken him, or had it been someone else who had met their demise? Frank had so many questions and he didn’t know what answers he would prefer. Suddenly he heard footsteps again. They sounded quick and determined and they were making their way towards _him_. Frank cowered in fear and squeaked quietly as the door was suddenly yanked open

_________________________

Right after Gerard had busted his way inside of Randal’s home, the man jolted awake and stared wide eyed at the intruder. His heart jumped in his chest as he recognized him and he pushed himself up from the couch as quick as he could manage. “What the- How the hell did you—“ He was cut off by a bullet digging into his left shoulder, causing him to shout out in pain and flinch backwards before another bullet ripped through his kneecap. He fell to the floor harshly and grasped at his knee while trying to hold onto his shoulder as well. “H-How the f-fuck did you find me?” He wheezed out.

“Shut the fuck up!” Gerard yelled, stepping closer and keeping the gun trained right at Randal’s face. “None of that matters.” He growled, baring his teeth as he glared angrily at the man. “Now tell me, where the fuck is he?!”

Randal hissed in a breath before looking up at Gerard, his eyes falling to the gun. He knew that this man wouldn’t kill him until he told him where the boy was, so he just laughed spitefully. “I don’t even know who you’re talking about.”

Gerard’s eyes widened with rage and he cocked the gun again, pressing it right up against Randal’s forehead. “If you don’t tell me where the fuck Frank is, then I’m going to blow your brains out. Understand?” He snarled. “Does that sound familiar? Hm? Do you remember saying something like that to me when you were pointing a gun at him?!” He yelled again. He wasn’t in the mood at all. He needed to get to Frank already.

Randal suddenly realized just how serious Gerard was about finding Frank. Maybe if he cooperated then he wouldn’t kill him. He was beginning to become overwhelmed with the bullet wounds, not really feeling up to being sarcastic right then. “S-Shit, o-okay.” He hissed out and and stayed completely still. He didn’t want Gerard to accidentally pull the trigger if he moved too much or startled him. “He’s in the closet. The one in the hallway.” He clarified as he flicked his gaze in the direction of where he had put the boy.

Gerard smiled, the action looking completely malicious and not at all pleasant. “There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” He asked as he un-cocked the gun and placed it back in his waistband.

Randal visibly relaxed when the gun was put away. “J-Just take him. I won’t bother you anymore. He’s not worth the trouble.” He grumbled.

Gerard raised an eyebrow. It was almost cute that this man thought he was going to get away with what he did. “I’ll have you know that Frank _is_ worth the trouble. He’s worth absolutely _everything_.” He spat out before reaching into the inner pocket of his pea coat. “And by the way. You’re a lot more dim-witted than I had initially thought if you actually believe that you’re not going to face any consequences for your  actions.” He said before pulling out the syringe and uncapping it. He quickly jabbed it into the man’s neck before he was able to react, and injected all of the fluid that was inside of the clear tube into his jugular vein.

Randal passed out quickly, and Gerard wanted to kill him right then. He wanted to just hurry up and slit his throat to end his fucking worthless life. But he couldn’t allow him to get out of it so easily. Besides, Gerard had already thought of so many fun things he was going to do to this man to make him suffer.  He began to drag him out of the house finally, struggling slightly because he was so large. He suddenly regretted that he had parked so far away from the house, but it would all be worth it. Frank was just inside that house and it was taking absolutely _everything_ to not go running into it and busting into the closet at that moment. He had to get Randal to his car first. He had to get him to his trunk and tie him up.

It took a little bit of struggling, but eventually Gerard had lifted Randal into the back of his car and huffed out a breath of exhaustion. He quickly got to work on tying his arms and legs together, making sure to make them extra tight and uncomfortable just because he was able to, and he wrapped a gag around his head. He ran his eyes over the unconscious man one more time, making sure that everything was all situated correctly before slamming the trunk shut.

Fuck, now he could get to Frank. He could see him again. Gerard felt his heart racing as he practically ran towards the house again, ignoring all of the pain that was coursing through him. All he focused on was getting inside and getting to the person that he had missed so badly that it tore him apart. Once Gerard made it up the steps and through the living room, he quickly made his way to the closet in the hallway, just like that man had said. He felt his pulse thrumming through him wildly as he reached for the knob. He didn’t know what he would find in there. He had no idea what state Frank would be in. He just hoped that he was _alive_. That was all that mattered in the long run.

He pulled the door open and the sight in front of him was enough to make tears well up in his eyes immediately. “Frankie.” He choked out, dropping to his knees. Frank’s pale skin was littered in deep, fresh bruises. All sorts of different scrapes and cuts covered him. His eyes had dark circles under them, much like Gerard’s own. He looked absolutely pitiful. “O-Oh God.” He sobbed and wrapped his arms securely around Frank’s shoulders, pulling him into a tight embrace. He tangled a hand in the boy’s hair, gripping it and tucking the boy’s face under his chin. “Frank, Frank, _Frank._ Fuck, you’re _here_. You’re here…” He closed his eyes tightly and inhaled, breathing in the way that Frank smelt. He could already feel the excruciating pain that had been consuming him, fade into near nothingness as he just allowed himself to be close to the other.

Frank began to cry as well. He had been completely shocked to see that it was _Gerard_. He had almost convinced himself that he was hallucinating until he felt the man’s strong arms wrap around him. He couldn’t believe that Gerard was actually there. Actually holding him. He felt so safe. He felt like nothing bad could happen to him now. That’s when he finally allowed himself to break down. He could feel the skin on Gerard’s neck becoming slick with his tears, but he didn’t care. He never wanted to move, but he wanted to talk. He wanted to tell Gerard that he was so happy that he was there, but the duct tape was preventing anything other than a muffled mess of sound to come out. He felt Gerard pull him back slightly and he could see his wet, hazel eyes dropping down to the tape covering his mouth. “Fuck, sorry.” He rasped. “Let me get this off of you, baby.” He whispered as he brought his fingers up to the corner of the tape. He knew he had to be careful, he didn’t want to tear any of Frank’s skin.

“Are you ready?” He questioned. Gerard waited for Frank to nod in response, his heart skipping a beat as he the realization that Frank was okay hit him again. “Okay, okay. Here we go.” Gerard began to peel the tape back slowly, giving a sympathetic grimace each time he heard Frank wince from the pain. Frank closed his eyes tightly as the last part of the tape was removed from him. “There we go, Frankie. Now lets get you turned around so I can get to your wrists.” Frank heard Gerard whisper. A tiny whimper escaped him as he fluttered his eyes open, but he didn’t turn around. He couldn’t stop looking at Gerard. He took in his face and the weight of how much he missed him crashed down on him.

“G-Gerard.” He choked out wetly, hot tears streaming down his face. “I m-missed you s-so much.” Frank whimpered, his voice wavering as he breathed unevenly.

“Shh, shhh. I’m here now. I’ve got you.” Gerard reassured as he began to move around Frank to get slightly behind him. He pulled out his pocket knife quickly and made sure to be careful when cutting the silver tape that secured his wrists together before he went ahead and removed the tape from the boy’s ankles as well. Once Frank’s everything was freed, Gerard closed his knife and placed it into his pocket. “There we go, is that oka—“ Gerard was suddenly cut off when Frank turned around and threw himself on top of him and desperately pressed a kiss to his lips.

Gerard breathed a surprised noise before he immediately opened up to him, his tongue sliding hotly against Frank’s as his eyes fluttered shut. He could taste Frank’s blood that was seeping out of the cuts in his lip, but neither of them seemed to be slowing down at all. Gerard grasped tightly at the boy’s hips as he felt Frank’s fingers tangling in the short strands of his hair and he tried to press himself up against him as close as he possibly could. Frank exhaled a needy whimper and Gerard swallowed the sound eagerly, moaning softly in return. Gerard wasn’t aroused though, and neither was Frank. The kiss wasn’t meant to be sexual at all. It was only for them to express how much they missed each other. How much they need each other. They needed to get acquainted with each other’s taste. They just needed to _feel_ that the other person was actually there with them and it wasn’t all just an illusion.

Suddenly Frank choked out another sob and Gerard pulled back, looking over the boy’s features. God, he looked so rough. “Are you okay?” He whispered gently, cupping his face in his large hands delicately. He couldn’t believe that Frank had actually just kissed him. His stomach fluttering pleasantly instead of painfully as he bit down on his lip. He immediately wanted to kiss him again, but he needed to pace himself. Frank needed to be comforted.  

Frank was almost immediately soothed by Gerard’s cool and tender touch, and he smiled weakly for the first time that day. “I-I am now.” He murmured, looking at Gerard as if he were his savior. He pretty much _was_. He couldn’t believe that he had found him. “How did you find me…?” He asked quietly as he shuffled closer to Gerard, resting his head on the man’s solid chest.

“I have my ways, Frankie. All that matters now is that I have you again. That you’re finally safe.” He cooed as he nuzzled into Frank’s hair. God, he felt so much better now. He didn’t feel like he was about to completely deteriorate from all of the pain.

All Frank did was hum. He felt so exhausted, but now he was finally able to relax. He was able to practically melt against the other man without fear of getting hurt. “I want to go home.” He mumbled in his sleepy state, not even noticing that he called Gerard’s house his home.

Gerard, of course, had noticed it. His heart fluttered wildly in his chest as he just glanced down at the boy in his lap. He needed to get some rest. “I’ll get you home, sweetheart. I’ll keep you nice and safe.” He promised as he pulled Frank back a little bit. He slid him out of his lap briefly so he could stand up out of the closet and reach down to pick him up. He cradled him against his chest, Frank curling up against him as he began to get carried out of the house. As they walked through the living room, Frank’s tired eyes hitched onto the two small pools of blood and he furrowed his brow. He had completely forgotten about that man until just then. Where the hell was he? Did Gerard kill him? Frank couldn’t handle the worry that began to arise with those questions and instead pressed his bruised up face against Gerard’s chest. He was going to question him when he was more awake, but for now, he just wanted to focus on the fact that he was safe again.

Gerard walked carefully to his car, being sure to hold Frank securely before opening the back door of his vehicle. “You can lie back here, darling. That way you can take a little nap while I drive, okay?”

Frank furrowed his brow when he was sat down on the seat. He hadn’t been ready for him to let go yet, he was just so scared of being taken again even though he was just right there in the back of Gerard’s car. He watched intently as Gerard moved around the side of the car, unknowingly holding his breath until the man sat down in the driver’s seat. He only breathed out softly when he realized that he was okay. That Gerard was just taking him back to his house and everything was all right. He blinked slowly, sleep beginning to tug at him mercilessly as he finally relaxed a little bit. When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see a bottle of water getting handed to him.

“I figured you would need this. It’s not as cold as I would like for it to be since it stayed in the car for a bit, but I suppose it’s better than nothing.” Gerard offered with a gentle smile. He couldn’t get over how immensely happy he was that Frank was right there. He couldn’t believe that he had managed to get to him.

Frank felt extremely grateful as he grabbed the water bottle. He almost immediately started to chug it once he realized just how thirsty he had been. His throat had felt so raw from all of his crying and how much he had yelled, but the water soothed it. “Thank you so much.” He panted after he finally pulled the bottle away. He was so glad that Gerard had thought of that. God, he really fucking cared about him, didn’t he? He hadn’t given up on Frank like he thought he might.

“Anything for you.” Gerard stated, being completely serious as he turned back to face the front. He adjusted the rearview mirror so he would be able to look back at Frank every once in a while, smiling lovingly back at him when he caught the boys gaze. “I love you so much, Frank. I really do.” He murmured.

“I know you do.” Frank replied, making sure that Gerard saw him smile as he said it. He wasn’t ready to say it back to Gerard. Everything was still so fucking confusing, but he didn’t feel uncomfortable anymore when Gerard told it to him. He honestly believed that Gerard _really did_ love him. He wouldn’t have found him if he didn’t.

Gerard smiled crookedly, a tiny laugh getting pulled from him as he put the key into the ignition. “Good.” He hummed pleasantly. He was glad to know that Frank understood how he felt about him. Gerard knew that he would feel the same eventually. Frank was going to say it back. “Now lets get out of this place.” He mumbled as he turned his car to pull down the driveway.

_________________________

The drive was pretty much quiet for the whole time. Frank had fallen asleep almost immediately after they got on the actual road. He had been lulled into unconsciousness by the steady hum of the engine and the knowledge that he was okay now. Gerard kept glancing back at the boy, his chest feeling so warm and full of affection. The roaring pain that had resided in his stomach was now dulled into the usual ache that was familiar and so so much better than what he had been feeling before. He couldn’t wait to curl up with Frank on his couch or just in bed. He didn’t care. He just wanted to be close to him. Of course, he had something extremely important to take care of before he was able to indulge in his desires. He had to deal with the man that was currently gagged and bound in his trunk.

They finally arrived back to his house later in the morning, Gerard sighing with relief as he pulled up his own long driveway. He glanced back at the sleeping boy, unable to stop another smile from tugging at his lips. “Frankie…” He whispered as he turned in his seat to face him. He chuckled softly and shook his head when he didn’t respond. He must have really needed the rest. Gerard carefully got out of the car, shutting his door quietly before making his way to the back. He made sure to be gentle as he picked Frank up, his heart fluttering as the boy reflexively pressed his face into the crook of his neck as he began to carry him up to his door.

He only struggled slightly with the keys, pushing open his door after a few moments and bringing Frank inside into the warmth of his home. Everything felt…right. Now that Frank was in the house with him again it no longer felt so empty. Once he shut the door behind him, he began to carry the younger man towards his living room and placed Frank down on his couch. Gerard moved to card his fingers through the long hairs of his mohawk. He felt so much better now that he had him with him. He no longer felt he violent pain shredding up his insides since the boy was with him again. Gerard crouched down to get closer to him, and he breathed out a soft sight once Frank’s eyes fluttered open gently. “Hey, Frankie.” Gerard whispered as he leant forwards to press a kiss to his forehead. Frank only made a quiet, tired noise in return. He was much too exhausted to actually formulate any real words. Gerard just smiled warmly and breathed a small chuckle. He was rather tired himself, but he had something to attend to. Randal was still in his trunk, hopefully still unconscious. Gerard had definitely given him enough of the tranquilizer to keep him knocked out for quite some time.

“I’ll go get you some pillows and a blanket real quick, Okay? I want you to get some rest.” Gerard whispered.

“D-Don’t go.” Frank whispered, finally saying something other than a soft grunt. He reached out slowly for Gerard and grasped at his sleeve, his tired eyes filled with desperation and a little bit of fear. The sight of it caused Gerard to feel his heart nearly break, though part of him was glad that he was so desperate for his company. He couldn’t wait to fucking kill the man that had caused Frank to be feeling like this though. He was certain that it would be the most satisfying kill of his life.

“I’ll be right back, Frankie. I promise. I’ll come back and stay with you until you fall asleep.” He assured as he moved Frank’s hand to lace their fingers together. He brought his knuckles up to his lips and pressed a tiny kiss to his skin. He couldn’t believe that he was able to just do that now. That he was able to give the boy simple little gestures of affection whenever he wanted.

Frank’s face heated up with a slight blush at the small kiss. It was just so innocent and sweet and Frank had really been needing it. He glanced down to the floor before bringing his gaze back up to Gerard’s hazel eyes. His eyes looked so soft. They were filled with so much fondness and pure love. It almost startled him, his heart hammering in his chest as bit down on his lower lip. He still didn’t know exactly how he felt for Gerard. His emotions and feelings about the older man were rather confusing and mixed up, but he knew that deep down he was growing more and more fond of him. How could he not. This man had done so much for him. “What are you going to do after I fall asleep?” He asked softly, continuing the conversation.

Gerard bit down on his lip and furrowed his brow. He wasn’t exactly able to tell the boy what he planned on doing. He didn’t exactly know how he would respond to the knowledge that Gerard planned on taking Randal down to his secret basement to torture and kill him. He knew that Frank didn’t like Randal, and he probably wished him quite a bit of harm, but he doubted that he wanted Gerard to be the one to do it. At least, not to the extent that he was planning. “I’m just going to go get cleaned up. I need to shower and get changed.” He lied before smiling at Frank. “When you actually get enough rest and wake up, I can wash your clothes for you while you shower, and I’ll cook us some food too.” He hummed as he glanced down at Frank’s stomach briefly. He wondered if he had even had anything to eat while he was gone. He began to grow slightly angry once he figured that he probably hadn’t.

Frank seemed to be satisfied with that answer. He was pretty excited to get to eat something again. Especially since it would be something that Gerard was cooking. He was a rather good cook. “Okay.” He mumbled, sleep beginning to tug at his eyelids again.

Gerard gave a short nod and released Frank’s hand. “I’ll be right back.” He promised before finally leaving the living room. He walked in quick strides as he made his way up to his room, grabbing his blankets and a pillow for Frank. He decided to shrug off his jacket now that he was finally inside, and he tossed it onto the be bed before returning downstairs a few moments later.

He placed the blanket over Frank’s curled up form, taking the pillow and gently lifting his head so he could guide it under it. “There you go.” He murmured gently.

Frank immediately snuggled under the cover, inhaling deeply. “Smells like you.” He smiled sleepily as he reached for Gerard’s hand and tugged it so he could lay his head down on it. He would normally be much more hesitant to engage in any type of physical contact, but he was so tired that he couldn’t find the energy to really care too much. Besides, he knew that Gerard wouldn’t mind. He was actually pretty sure that Gerard would actually _enjoy_ it.

Gerard’s face flushed slightly and he sat down in the floor to lean back against the couch. He was glad that Frank seemed to like the way he smelled. It appeared to comfort him. That just made Gerard feel so happy. He felt like everything was finally coming together. He had waited so long for Frank to be acting the way that he was towards him. Every moment of pain that he had endured had been worth it. “Are you okay now?” Gerard asked softly.

Frank nodded slowly. “Yeah, I feel so much better.” He whispered. “I was so scared when I was there, Gerard.” Frank whimpered suddenly.

Gerard gazed at the boy sadly and frowned. “I’m so sorry, Frankie…do you want to talk about what happened?” He asked. He had known that Randal had obviously hit Frank, judging by the bruises that covered him. Gerard was going to have to clean him up later. But he just wanted to make sure that he knew what all Randal did so he could make sure he made the man suffer as much as he deserved.

Frank bit down on his lip and closed his eyes. He didn’t really want to relive it again, but he felt like he should get it all out so it didn’t eat him up any longer. “F-First when we got there he just shoved m-me around a little…” He began, risking a glance at Gerard again. He found that the man’s concerned gaze actually made him feel al little bit better. He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. “It wasn’t anything I c-couldn’t handle, I mean.” He shrugged.

Gerard was already feeling furious just from hearing _that_ , but he couldn’t show it. He didn’t want Frank to see how angry he was or else he might stop talking about it. “I’m sorry, Frankie.” He whispered, running his other hand over the boy’s jaw to cup it gently, exhaling softly. “Is there more?” He urged carefully.

Frank nodded and sighed. “A-After a little bit…he pinned me down on the couch and tried t-to…uh…” He was having trouble actually saying anything, but he managed to force it out. “He tried to t-touch me. But I-I kicked him before he could really do anything.” He added quickly. He needed to make sure that Gerard knew that he didn’t really get to do anything to him when it came to that.

Gerard’s eyes widened, his fingers almost clinching tightly but he managed to stop himself since his hands were currently resting on the boy’s face. He did his best to keep a calm appearance and he nodded, showing that he was still listening. “But he tried a-again later, I-I was taped up so I couldn’t d-do anything.” He heard Frank continue. “He kissed m-my neck…” Frank closed his eyes tightly, it was almost as if he could still feel his chapped lips pressing against his throat. “He covered up the marks you made there with his own.” He mumbled, sounding as though it was _his_ fault that it had happened. Gerard immediately hated it.

Gerard could feel his blood boiling inside of him as he listened. He couldn’t believe that Randal had dared to put his mouth on Frank. He couldn’t believe that he had marked him up like that. God, he was immensely ready to fucking destroy him. “Fuck, Sweetheart.” He rasped, not really knowing what to say since Frank didn’t appear to be finished just yet.

“T-Then he actually _kissed_ me.” Frank choked out, moving his hands to cover his face as he whimpered. This was too much. He didn’t want to talk anymore, but he was almost done. “Since I couldn’t p-push him off I just bit him.” He forced out as he began to shake. “That just made him mad. H-He wouldn’t stop h-hitting me and—“ Frank began to cry, keeping his face hidden behind his fingers. He was done. He couldn’t talk anymore.

“Oh, God.” Gerard murmured before clambering onto the couch and tucking Frank up against his chest. He wrapped his arms around him securely, closing his eyes tightly as he rocked him gently. He felt so damn terrible. Seeing Frank cry like that caused his heart to clinch painfully in his chest. “Shh, baby, It’s okay. I’ve got you now, see? You’re safe here with me.” He cooed as he pressed a kiss to the top of the boy’s head.

Frank whimpered and removed his hands from his face, opting to press his face into the crook of Gerard’s neck instead. He smelled so nice to him. His scent was much stronger now that it was coming from the actual person and not just a blanket or a jacket, and it’s exactly what he had been wanting. He really _did_ feel better now that he was getting held by the older man. He felt safe in his arms, which he never really thought would be possible. Randal was far far away from him now. He couldn’t hurt him anymore. That’s when he suddenly remembered the blood on the floor and that he had heard some gunshots. “What happened when you got there?” He asked in a small voice, still keeping his face hidden.

Gerard went quiet. He knew he wasn’t able to tell Frank that he had kidnapped Randal and he was currently in the trunk, and he also didn’t want to make Frank think that he had killed him either. “I shot him when he started to come after me.” He started quietly as he dragged his hands up and down the boy’s back. “He didn’t die of course. I only shot him in his knee and shoulder to incapacitate him…” He murmured so that there was at least _some_ truth to what he was saying. “I injected him with a tranquilizer to knock him out so he wouldn’t be able to do anything else, and I dragged him outside. I didn’t want you to have to see him again whenever I came to get you, so I pulled him around to the back of his house so you wouldn’t.” Gerard finished. That sounded realistic…right?

Frank stayed quiet for a moment, just thinking over everything he just heard. The mention of the tranquilizer made him think back to how Gerard had actually used it on him before. He remembered that cold night outside of the library where he had been certain that someone was following him. He remembered how silly he had felt when he turned around and there was no one there, of course, he ended up having a reason to be paranoid, seeing as Gerard came out of nowhere and suddenly knocked him out. It was weird to think that it didn’t seem too bad to him that he had done that to him. So much worse had happened to him in the past day that it just seemed so little in comparison.

The story that Gerard told him seemed believable. In fact, he thought it was sweet that Gerard had thought of how Frank would feel about seeing the man again. He was glad that he seemed to understand what was best for him. “Oh, okay.” He whispered and sighed heavily. Frank was admittedly pretty happy that he had gotten shot. He felt like he deserved it.

Gerard felt so much relief flood through him when it appeared that Frank believed him. He pulled back for a moment and smiled softly at Frank. “You should get some rest now, Frank.” He murmured as he looked down at the boy’s tired face. Not only did he want Frank to relax and sleep, he also wanted to hurry up and go back to his car to retrieve Randal.

“Mmh, good idea.” Frank chuckled tiredly. God, he felt so much better now. Gerard really was such a good person to him. He really cared about him. “Night.” He sighed before closing his eyes again and letting himself relax completely against Gerard, making the man breath a small laugh before saying it in return.

It didn’t take too much longer before Frank finally fell asleep. His aching body finally falling limp as he succumbed to sleep. Gerard lied there for a few minutes, just appreciating the way Frank felt against him. He wanted to go to sleep too. He felt extremely exhausted from how much he had been through, and now that the pain wasn’t as bad as it had been, the urge to rest was so tempting. He had to resist though. He couldn’t just leave Randal in his trunk for too long.

Gerard allowed himself to gently began to scratch his nails over the edge of Frank’s jaw while he slept, almost as if he were absentmindedly petting a cat. But Frank was much better than a cat. He was much better than _everything._ He was so perfect. So celestial and alluring and just so damn magnificent. Gerard was just in awe of him. He couldn’t believe someone like him actually existed on this wretched planet. But he _did_ , and Gerard managed to find him. He found the jewel of the universe and fell in love with it. 

Once Gerard was certain that Frank was in a deep enough sleep, he slipped off of the couch carefully and leant down to press a gentle kiss to his temple. “I love you so much, Frank.” He whispered quietly, just needing to say it again before he left even if he wasn’t awake to hear it.

Now it was time for him to do what he had been waiting to do. He was finally going to let that slimy motherfucker get what he deserved. Giving one more glance back at the sleeping boy on his couch, Gerard left the living room and made his way out of the front door. He pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked the trunk, a sick smile tugging on his lips once he saw that he was still unconscious. He glanced down at his knee and shoulder, noting that they were bleeding all over the interior of his trunk. He frowned and shook his head. Now he was going to have to clean it up later. This guy just seemed to find anyway he could to make Gerard’s life difficult, even though it had been his own fault for shooting him. But still, he had deserved it.

The man was much too heavy to carry back to his house like Gerard had done with Frank, so he was just going to have to drag him instead. Gerard had no qualms with this of course. This man didn’t deserve to get carried. He deserved to be dragged and scraped up from the rough ground. Gerard sighed heavily and leaned over to grab at Randal’s feet, opting to drag him that way so his head would have to graze against the ground. Gerard just wanted him to hurt as much as possible. He wanted him to suffer.

Once he successfully got the man out of his trunk, he didn’t try to be careful at all as he began to drag him towards the back of his house. He knew it would be much easier to go through the front door, seeing as it was much closer, but he didn’t want to have to pass the living room in fear that Frank might wake up long enough to see Gerard dragging Randal through the house. He didn’t want to see how he might react to that. He dropped the man’s legs for a moment once he finally reached his back door so he could unlock it and open it. He was glad that the basement door that he was trying to get to wasn’t too far away. It was a different door than the one that he had taken Frank down to a few days before. This was a door that lead to his special basement. That’s what he referred to it as in his head anyways. Really it was just like a torture chamber.

He picked Randal’s feet up again and began to pull him into the house, grunting a few times since he was particularly heavy. He knew that it was worth all of the work, though. It had been quite some time since he had gotten to kill anyone. He had been itching for it. The fact that he was going to get to kill a man that had actually harmed Frank just made it so much better. God, he couldn’t fucking wait. He could feel himself thrumming with excitement as he brought him up to the door to the basement. His heart was hammering in his chest in anticipation of the kill.

It took a bit of work to actually get Randal down the stairs without making too much noise. He didn’t want to wake Frank up, so he had to opt for being a little careful with the man even though he didn’t want to. Gerard breathed a quiet sigh as he reached the door at the bottom of the steps, moving to unlock that one as well. He liked having an extra door there, it helped out with the sound proofing. He normally didn’t really care about it since he never had any company, but now that Frank was with him it was a blessing.

As he dragged Randal towards the chair that was bolted down near the middle of the room, he didn’t realize that he had left the door open slightly. He had been much too preoccupied with his struggling.

“Fuck, why are you so damn heavy?” Gerard grumbled to himself as he began to lift the man up to the chair. He sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair and over his face once he was finally situated in it properly. Now it was time to secure him to the furniture.

Gerard untied his hands and feet, working quickly since he didn’t want to waste anymore time, and began to tie them to the arms and legs of the chair instead. This was going to be so much fun for him. He couldn’t wait for him to wake up. He was starting to feel a little giddy at the prospect of it. It had been a while since he had gotten to bring someone downstairs, but he had _also_ never had someone that deserved it as much as this man did. Now all Gerard had to do was wait. So that’s what he did. He paced slowly back and forth for quite a few minutes before finally deciding to lean against one of the walls to the side of Randal as he just stared at him intently. Silently waiting.

Just a few minutes later, Randal’s head began to move, lolling slightly as he began to rouse from his unconscious state. He grimaced and furrowed his brow, his eyes cracking open against the harsh fluorescent lights. He was confused as to what was going on, but he didn’t have much time to figure it out before pain came rushing over him. His head was throbbing along with his back, feeling as though it had gotten cut up somehow. Then came the pain in his knee and shoulder. It was so sharp, the pain absolutely tremendous as he finally forced his eyes all the way open. He was completely befuddled as to where he was when he glanced around. All he could see was a white, concrete wall. There were a few hooks placed inches apart that held different items like rope and chains. There was even a crisp white apron that adorned one of them. A little lower, there were these tables pushed up against the wall that appeared to be made from a thin metal, the bright lighting reflecting off of the pristine surfaces of them.

He could see quite a few things situated on top of them. There looked to be an assortment of different knives and blades. There were even a few power tools on there as well, such as a circular saw, a drill and even just a simple hack saw. There were some some others that he wasn’t exactly familiar with, but he didn’t really find that to be the most pressing matter at the moment. “So you’re finally up.” Randal heard someone call out from the left side of the room. He quickly turned his head to see the same man from before sauntering up to him slowly. He began to open his mouth to speak, but he was extremely confused as it just came out as a mess of sound, his tongue seeming to get caught on something. His eyes widened slightly once he figured out that there was a gag secured in his mouth and he attempted to reach up to pull it off. He only became panicked once his hand didn’t move, and he looked down to see that he had been tied up.  His heart began to hammer violently in his chest, fluttering wildly like a caged bird.

Gerard found it to be quite amusing that it seemed to take people quite some time to realize that they had been tied up. Most of the time it was because their minds were too hazy and they were too confused by the unfamiliar environment, but Gerard liked to just imagine that Randal was just too stupid to really understand anything. “Aw, poor thing. You look frightened.” Gerard teased, a smirk tugging at his lips as he slowly walked to stand in front of the wretched man. His smirk only widened once Randal began to thrash slightly, tugging at his restraints, though the tranquilizer was still in his system so he wasn’t able to move as much as he had wanted to. Oh, Gerard was going to have _so_ much fun.

“Tell me, _Randal_ ,” Gerard said, sneering his name as he turned around to walk over to his apron. He lifted it off the hook and began put his head through the little loop, wrapping the string around his waist and securing it in a double knot. “Do you know _why_ you’re here?” He inquired as he turned back around, bracing his hands onto the edge of the table behind him and crossing his legs. Randal tried to speak again, mostly just to try to cuss Gerard out, but of course he wasn’t able to. “Have you _still_ not grasped the concept of a gag?” Gerard scoffed after a moment, rolling his eyes as he shook his head. He waited for the other’s muffled voice to finally silence before speaking again. “I suppose I will just have to _tell_ you why you’re here. Hm?” He sighed, running a hand through his white hair as he pushed himself off of the table to step closer to Randal.

He made sure to keep his steps slow and calculated, as if he were stalking towards his prey. “You’re here because of what you did.” He said in a low, dangerous tone. “You know what that is, right? You know what you’ve done?”

Randal knew that this man was upset because he had kidnapped Frank, but what was he going to do to him? If he was just going to beat him up then he should just fucking get it over with. He wanted to get back home and forget about this whole thing. He rolled his eyes and nodded, grumbling through the cloth as Gerard narrowed his eyes at him.

“You took Frank from me.” Gerard stated simply as he glared down at the man. “Not only that, but you _hurt_ him.” Gerard snarled. He was beginning to grow angry. Fury and rage began to build up inside of him the more he thought about the way Frank had been treated by this disgusting excuse of a man. “You tried to put your filthy, _grimy_ hands all over him.” Gerard glanced down to the man’s hands, watching the way that his fingers flexed against the arm of the chair in irritation. He couldn’t believe that this man felt as though he had a right to get annoyed with him.

Gerard suddenly pulled back, his eyebrow quirking up as an idea struck him. “You know what I’m going to do about that?” He asked mischievously, a sly smile tugging at his lips. He swiftly turned around, walking back over to his table and humming excitedly. “I’m going to make sure your dirty fingers will never taint Frank’s beautiful skin ever again.” He informed, speaking louder now that he was facing away from Randal. He inspected each of his knives, pursing his lips as he thought about which one would be best for him to use for what he wanted to do. He ended up going with one of his larger knives, bringing the silver blade up to his face as he tilted his head. Gerard lifted a finger to press against the point of it, a wicked smile spreading across his face as blood immediately began to well up from where he pressed down.

“Do you know how I’m going to do that, Randal?” He asked playfully, turning around and holding the knife up to show the other man. “I’ll give you _one_ guess.” Gerard sing-songed as he tilted his head back and forth, the knife swinging between his fingers. Gerard’s heart fluttered excitedly once he saw the the man’s eyes widen with fear. It seemed that he was finally understanding exactly what he was wanting to do to him. “That’s right,” He nodded. “I’m going to cut them off, one by one.” He smiled, feeling extremely giddy as Randal began to squirm, trying desperately to curl his hands into fists and pull them away.  Luckily the rope was keeping them in place.

Gerard quickly grasped at the other man’s hand, yanking out his index finger and keeping it flattened against the arm of the chair. He wasn’t able to wait any longer. He was going to make this man’s final moments a living hell. He wasted no more time before slamming the blade down with precision, effectively hacking his finger off with ease. Oh god, the absolute _blood curdling_ scream that sounded out from behind the gag caused a pleasurable shudder to run through Gerard. “Mmm, such a shame that was covered by that piece of fabric.” Gerard tutted, shaking his head as he flicked his gaze up to the cloth. “I don’t see the harm in taking that off.” The man shrugged as he reached around Randal’s head and tugged the knot loose.

“Fuck you, you fucking sick _fuck_!” Was the first thing that came out of Randal’s mouth once the gag was removed.

“Language.” Gerard said in a bored tone. He had heard every name that anyone could ever call him, so this was nothing new.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Randal yelled, his voice filled with pain and anger. He reminded Gerard of a wounded animal, all pathetic and lashing out just because he was hurt.

Gerard just breathed an airy laugh as he twiddled with the knife between his fingers. “There are quite a few things on that list. It might be easier for us to start with what _isn’t_ wrong with me.” He hummed and glanced down to the way the other man’s knuckle was spurting blood from where his finger used to be. The dark crimson liquid was dripping down the chair and dirtying up his white tiled floor, but of course Gerard didn’t mind. He liked to see the aftermath of what he did. He thought it was a way of making his own art. That’s why he had the whole room so white and clean. “But, I know you don’t really care about me and my personal issues, do you?”

“Of fucking course I don’t.” Randal snapped, glaring angrily at Gerard as he began to grab at his hand again. “Wait- No, w-what are you—“ Another scream erupted from his throat as his middle finger was cut off suddenly, and if he hadn’t known any better, he could have sworn that he had heard Gerard _moan._

_________________________

Frank suddenly startled awake, a strange noise bringing him out of his slumber. He stayed completely still as he just listened, but he wasn’t certain that he actually _had_ heard anything. He was probably just having strange dreams caused by what he had gone through. Frank suddenly felt much too hot under the blankets and jacket, a sheen of sweat covering his skin and making the thick leather jacket stick to him uncomfortably. Now that he was no longer trapped in Randal’s cold house, he didn’t feel the need to keep it on. Frank quickly pulled off the jacket and kicked the blanket away from him, breathing a sigh of relief as he felt like he could breath again. Just as he had been about to close his eyes to get some more rest, the sound rang out again, before another one quickly followed. It sounded like…someone was screaming. What the hell was going on? Frank pushed himself up after it went silent again, his pulse racing slightly as he stood up. He was growing worried. Where was Gerard? Was he in the shower like he said he would be? Had he already taken it? Who the fuck was screaming? Frank had no clue what the answers were and it was causing him to be flooded with anxiety.

With shaky legs, Frank began to walk towards the source of the next scream that echoed through the house. It grew louder and louder as he walked down the hallway, bringing him to a door that he hadn’t ever been to before. The boy flinched once he heard another scream cry out, making him wonder if this was such a good idea for him to be doing. What if it was Gerard? What if he was in trouble? Frank couldn’t risk it, he just couldn’t. He nervously reached for the doorknob, becoming surprised when it wasn’t actually locked like all of the other doors in the house. He quietly pulled the door open and was shocked to find a set of stairs.

They didn’t look like the stairs he had been down before. They looked much sturdier and secure, and instead of leading down into the musty old basement, they lead to another door. Frank noticed that there was a bit of light spilling in from the way the door was cracked open and was illuminating the bottom of the staircase with a pale glow. He swallowed thickly and bit down on his lip. He fucking hated basements, but he knew that he had to go down there once another pained cry rang out loudly. Once he managed to steel himself, Frank slowly and silently made his way down the steps. He was extremely grateful that they didn’t creak and groan like the other staircase, though he figured even if they did, the sound would just be covered up by another scream.

Frank was breathing heavily by the time he finally reached the bottom door, his veins pumping with adrenaline as he brought his face up to peek past the crack in the door. He felt like everything suddenly froze once he was brought face to face with the sight before him. There was that man. That man that had hurt him and tried to…do things to him. He was sitting there tied to a chair. What was he doing there?! Gerard had said that he had taken out to the back of his house and left him there. It was obvious to the boy now that that had been a lie. But why? What did Gerard gain by bringing him there? Where even was Gerard?

Suddenly the older man stepped into view and he wiped what appeared to be a blood stained knife on his white apron, staining the once pristine fabric. That’s when Frank noticed the man’s fingers, only they were on the floor and no longer actually attached to his hand. The sight of his bloody hands caused Frank’s stomach to churn, but for some reason he couldn’t look away. He just couldn’t believe that Gerard had actually cut that man’s fingers off. What else was he planning to do?

“There.” Frank heard Gerard’s voice echo through the now quiet room. He sounded a lot different suddenly. He sounded darker, _colder_. Frank couldn’t exactly explain it. “Now I know your disgusting fingers will never go near Frank again.” Gerard growled. The boy’s breathing hitched quietly at the mention of his name, his eyes widening slightly as he strained to hear everything Gerard was saying.

Randal was an absolute mess. He had nearly passed out from the pain of his fingers getting severed off, but sadly he wasn’t granted that small amount of mercy. He looked up to Gerard, he couldn’t believe that he had fucking done that, all just because he had taken that boy. “H-Holy shit.” He stammered out as he tried to not focus on the searing pain in his hands. “Why is he so important?” He grunted. “I just wanted to have a little fun. I was going to fucking let him go after a few days.” Randal said defensively. He wanted to leave. He wanted fucking out of there. At first he hadn’t been too worried, but now he was fucking terrified.

Gerard’s eyes widened, pure, unfiltered rage flashing across them as he pulled the knife up and brought it down quickly into the others leg. He imbedded the blade deep into his flesh right above his kneecap before twisting it. Frank jumped and gasped quietly as he watched that happen, his eyes never leaving Gerard as he grabbed the man’s jaw and held it shut to keep him quiet since he had been screaming. Gerard didn’t want to hear his screams right now. He wanted to make that man realized just how badly he had messed up by saying that.

“What’s so important about him?” Gerard echoed disbelievingly, shaking the man by his jaw violently until he looked at him. “I’ll tell you what’s so important about him! Everything!” He yelled loudly. “Every. Fucking. Thing.” He repeated with more emphasis. “That boy is the only goddamn thing that fucking matters in this fucked up world.” He snarled, baring his teeth as he leaned in closely. “He is all I fucking care about. He’s so fucking beautiful and such a good person. He’s the most pure being in existence.” Gerard pulled back and shoved the other man’s head away harshly. “And for you to speak about him like he’s just some piece of _trash_ , like he’s just something that you can just fucking _throw away,_ pisses me off!” Gerard yanked the knife out of Randal’s leg, causing him to cry out before he pointed it at him. “Tell me exactly what you were going to do to him. Tell me right now.” Gerard demanded.

Frank was fucking shaking. Gerard looked so damn different. He looked like a fucking rabid animal. It was actually rather terrifying. He wanted to run away and hide from all of this, but he found himself to be frozen to the spot. It was just such an odd sensation to Frank. Because while he was fucking horrified by what he was seeing, there was a strange warmth spreading in his chest as Gerard spoke so highly of him. He didn’t really have time to think about it though because Randal began to speak again.

“Why should I tell you?” He asked riskily, doing his best to glare at Gerard.

Gerard brought the blade to rest against Randal’s jugular vein and narrowed his eyes. “I said _tell me,_ motherfucker.” He repeated. Gerard wasn’t really going to cut open the man’s throat. At least, not yet. He wanted to draw it out longer.

Randal was beginning to shake a little, drawing in shallow breaths in fear that if he breathed any harder that the knife might slip and he would get cut open. “F-Fine!” He yelped and tilted his head back to try to bring his throat further away from the blade. “A-All I w-was going to do was j-just- you know… _fuck_ him. It’s just b-been awhile since I’ve had any action, y’know?” He explained finally, forcing a chuckle in hopes that maybe, just _maybe_ Gerard would understand. “I’m sure you do it all the time with him, right? He’s such a pretty young thing, I wouldn’t be surprised.” He chuckled nervously again and strained to glance down at the blade.

Gerard felt his limbs light on fire with his fury. His blood was practically boiling with rage. “You stupid son of a bitch!” Gerard screamed out before bringing the knife down and stabbing his arm over and over again, just ripping his limb to shreds as blood began to pour out, some of it even spraying from a few of the wounds as Randal screamed out again before he stabbed the knife through his arm one last time and left it there. “How fucking _dare_ you say that! I would never treat Frank like that! He’s not some fucking _toy._ He’s not just some doll for me to _fuck_.” He yelled “And he’s not just some ‘pretty young thing’ either! He’s the fucking love of my life! I treasure him. I will never force myself on him like that no matter how much I might crave that kind of affection.”

He was shouting over the man’s cries of pain as he continued. “I would love to have that intimacy with him, but I never want it to be forced! I want him to want it just as much as I do. I don’t care if I have to wait years, I don’t care if it _never_ happens. I won’t force him the way you tried to. He deserves better than that. He’s a fucking human being that needs to be treated the way he should!”

Randal shook his head, his jaw clinching in pain as tears began to leak from his eyes. “Then what the fuck am _I_?!” He retaliated. “I’m fucking human too!”

Gerard shook his head and furrowed his brow, looking down at the man with disgust. “No, you’re no human. You’re a fucking _monster_.”

“So are _you_. Don’t you see what you’re doing to me?” Randal asked, his voice ragged and weak.

“Oh but there’s a difference, see? Because unlike you, I _know_ I’m a monster. I don’t try to defend what I do!” Gerard retorted angrily.

Frank held his breath, trying to be as silent as possible as he watched everything unfold. He felt like his veins were pumping his blood through his heart at an alarmingly dangerous rate. He was staring at Gerard, taking in his expression and listening to the tone of his voice. He hadn’t ever seen this side of Gerard. He had seen him when he was a little frustrated or upset, but he had never seen this type of fury come from him. He hadn’t seen that type of fury from _anyone_. He was terrifying.

Gerard leaned in closely again. “Do you regret it?” He asked lowly.

“What?” Randal sneered. He was becoming angry again. He figured he might not make it out of there alive, so he wasn’t going to let himself get ridiculed in his last moments.

“Do you regret taking him? Do you regret _hurting_ him?” Gerard elaborated as his fingers twitched, longing to dig them into the man’s eye sockets. _Especially_ when he got a revolting smirk in return.

“No.” Randal scorned. “I _don’t.”_ He daringly looked right into Gerard’s wild eyes. “In fact…” He paused, smirk widening almost as if he were trying to taunt the other man, even though he knew that it was dangerous. “I wish I _had_ fucked him. I should have fucked him and then killed him right after. I bet that little Frankie of yours would have liked that. He’s such a slut it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise.”

That was it. That was the final fucking straw for Gerard. He was done talking to this horrid man. He was ready to just fucking hurt him. To _kill_ him. As Frank watched from the bottom of the steps, it was almost as if a switch had flipped inside of Gerard. His demeanor changed completely. His eyes were no longer wide and crazy, his body slowly moving to stand up straight as he looked down at the other man coldly. He looked calm, _deadly_ calm, but his hazel eyes flickered with rage and Frank knew that this man was about to feel his wrath. There was something else Frank noticed as well. It was completely silent. Neither of the men were speaking. Frank supposed the silence from Randal was because he was anticipating Gerard’s next move. But Gerard’s silence felt more dangerous. More terrifying. His silence rang out louder and more harshly than any scream ever could.

There were so many things Gerard wanted to do. So many different things flashed through his mind. But he settled on something that he normally didn’t do. He clinched his fists tightly and swung it as hard as he could against the side of Randal’s face. His jaw gave a satisfying crack against his knuckles, and he quickly did it again. He slammed his knuckles against the man’s ugly face over and over again, switching between each hand every few swings as he just beat the shit out of him. He was taking out every frustration that he had been holding inside of him on the man’s face in a way that no blade or tool could ever produce. This was much more personal than a knife could ever be, but that’s because this _was_ personal.

Gerard’s knuckles were beginning to become raw. The skin stretching over them was starting to split open from abuse, but he just couldn’t stop. He was so angry. Gerard hadn’t been this angry in quite sometime. He could only remember one time before this where he felt as though he had lost himself completely to his rage. Finally, Gerard managed to stop himself. He was seething as he glared down at Randal. His face looked like a bloody pulp. His jaw looked nearly shattered, just hanging open limply as his head hung down. His face was drenched in his blood, and probably even just a little bit of Gerard’s own blood from his knuckles, his cheeks swollen and split along with his nose that was leaking blood as well. Gerard still wasn’t satisfied.

Frank couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed. It had seemed completely unreal. It looked like something that would only happen in the movies or some shit, not _real life_. Gerard had become an absolute animal. He had looked so petrifying, filling Frank with terror as he watched silently. He couldn’t believe that this was the same man that always stroked through his hair soothingly or who gently cupped his jaw with pure affection. It was just…it just wasn’t right. This wasn’t the Gerard that he knew. The Gerard he _thought_ he knew. Though, he realized that he didn’t know Gerard at all. He apparently lived a completely secret life that he kept hidden away, and Frank could see why he kept it a secret.  

He stared as Gerard grabbed at the back of the mans hair, yanking it to make him look up to him and snapping his fingers in front of his face. “Don’t go to sleep just yet.” He instructed in a low voice. “I’m not through with you.” Gerard then waited until he saw Randal’s eyelids flutter open, indicating that he was still conscious before dropping his head and letting it sag down. He yanked the knife out of his arm and walked over to the metal table, letting the weapon clatter onto the reflective surface before going over to inspect the other knives he had. God,  he wanted to do so much to this man, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to live through all of it. He would end up dying before Gerard could finish having his fun. So Gerard had to pick only a few things that he could do.

Maybe he could gut him. He could cut open his stomach and show him how ugly he looked on the inside before he died. Or maybe he could hack off his limbs. Fuck. He wished that he could do more. He wanted to stretch this out. He was then struck with another idea. One that was a little sick, but he liked it. Instead of picking up another knife from the table, Gerard simply just turned around with a smug look upon his face. He clasped his hands behind his back as he strode over to Randal slowly, tilting his head up too look down at him further. “You know…You’re looking kind of hungry.” Gerard mused aloud as he bent down. Randal was too out of it to even really pay attention. Everything was hurting him.

Gerard reached onto the floor and picked up one of his pinky fingers, inspecting it closely as he quirked an eyebrow up. Frank stared on with horror. There was no way Gerard was about to do what he thought he was going to do. No fucking way. Of course, Gerard just seemed to enjoy surprising Frank, because he really _would_ do it. Gerard tugged open Randal’s mouth harshly, smirking as he emitted a weak sound of pain before suddenly shoving his finger into his mouth. “Eat it.” He commanded and forced his jaw shut so he couldn’t spit it out.

Gerard could hear Randal’s gag reflex working against his pinky and he laughed. “You have to chew it first, y’know? It makes it go down _much_ easier.” He teased before giving the man a mock pout. “Oh wait, I forgot that you can’t even move you’re jaw because I broke it.”  A smile soon replaced his pout and he tightened his grip on Randal’s jaw. “I can help you with that.” He chuckled before using his free hand to hold the back of the man’s head still so he could begin moving his jaw for him, forcing him to chew up his own finger, of course, there were still some bones in the finger. Gerard couldn’t help that fact. Though he could just swallow those whole then since they were small. Gerard would reach into his throat if he started to choke to pull it out. Choking was a very boring way to go for Gerard. He liked it to be messier than that.

Frank nearly began to gag, himself. He felt nauseous at the sight in front of him. Never in his fucking life had he thought that he would watch a man get forced to eat his own finger. Of course, Frank was the one that wasn’t leaving. He could have bolted up the stairs already and pretended to be asleep, but something was keeping him rooted to the spot. It was as if he was transfixed by what was happening. As terrible as it was, Frank was glad this man was getting hurt. He was glad that he was paying for what he had done. Sure, it was quite extreme, but it was better than nothing. Of course, that didn’t mean that Frank wanted to see it. Nor did he even want to _know_ about it. He would have been content to think that Randal was still at his own house far away from him. He would have been able to live his entire life not knowing that Gerard was capable of doing this to someone.

Luckily Frank managed to stifle his gags, swallowing any bile that threatened to rise out of his throat. He couldn’t risk making any noise. He didn’t want to alert Gerard that he had seen anything. Fuck, he really should just leave. He should just go upstairs and try to forget this. But how _could_ he ever forget this? This wasn’t something that he could just shrug off. This was a big deal.

“Swallow it.” Gerard suddenly demanded as he clamped Randal’s mouth shut despite the frail noises of protest. It seems as though Gerard had finally broken him. One man could only take so much before he began to loose his snarky attitude. “I said swallow it, you son of a _bitch_.” He growled when he didn’t comply. “Fine.” He huffed, before using the hand that wasn’t covering his mouth to pinch his nose shut so he couldn’t breath at all. Finally Randal swallowed as he struggled for air, finally eating his own finger. Gerard exhaled a soft noise, staring at the man’s throat for a moment. God, he felt so powerful right then. He just made a guy _eat_ his own _finger_. It was amazing.

Just seeing this man that had hurt Frank and taken him from him so weak and pathetic was…exciting for Gerard. He had always had a thing for being able to reduce someone to near nothing before he killed them. It just gave him such a rush. It made him feel _good_. He was an extreme sadist and he knew it. He couldn’t help that he enjoyed the suffering of his victims. Even if he _could_ help it, Gerard wasn’t too sure that he would _want_ to. “Now…I’m going to ask you this question again.” Gerard hummed as he let go of the man’s face. “Do you regret it?”

Randal breathed a tiny noise, just barely able to nod his head. “What? I didn’t get that.” Gerard insisted as he raised an eyebrow.

“…y-yes…”

“Good.” Gerard stated before standing up straight again. “Now you understand that Frank is important, right? You get that he is the most important thing in the world to me, correct?”

“Ye…yeah.” Randal wheezed.

“That’s what I like to hear.” Gerard hummed before swiveling around on his heels to begin walking back to his table. “But, you know…I’d also like to hear something else from you.” He murmured before picking up a medium sized knife with a black, clip point blade. He wrapped his fingers around the black stained wooden handle, the silver accents of the hilt flashing a reflection of the bright fluorescent lights. He twirled the knife skillfully after he turned around, looking Randal up and down. It was obvious that Randal was really beginning to fade out a little, which was boring. So he walked up to him and and began to dig the tip of the blade into the bullet wound in his shoulder.

Randal cried out in pain, tossing his head back as he screamed. “ _There_ it is.” Gerard smirked as he twisted the knife back and forth. The sound of Randal’s screams were so nice. There was so much pain and agony laced with the sound, and Gerard shuddered slightly. “I’m so glad I get to spend this time with you.” Gerard mused as he pushed the blade in the rest of the way, his eyes fluttering closed briefly as it pulled another scream from the man. He was beginning to get off on this. Now that he had finally gotten his point across to Randal about how he couldn’t just treat Frank the way that he did, he was able to enjoy the torturing the way that he normally did.

“I’m glad that I get to hurt you like this. You definitely deserve it.” He hummed before yanking the knife out, his pupils blowing out wide at the sight of blood spurting out from the wound. He licked his lips briefly as Randal whimpered pathetically, and he reached forwards to soak his fingers in the crimson liquid. He rubbed his fingers together to spread it around before he began to smear it on his own throat, creating red drag marks in the shape of his fingers.

Frank’s eyes widened as he saw that happen. Why was Gerard doing that? What purpose did that serve? Fuck, Gerard was _sick_. It was almost as if Gerard was becoming… _aroused_. He just kept breathing out these soft noises that were unmistakably moans, and his _face_. The expression on his face was one of desire, though Frank could tell that it wasn’t because he was attracted to Randal – Gerard had made it pretty clear that he absolutely hated him – but it was more like it was because of the blood; because of the _anguish_. It was so damn weird and messed up.

It was terrible for Frank, just continuing to watch Gerard plunge the blade into various parts of the man in front of him, his moans becoming louder and louder as more blood began to pour out of him. Randal’s screams of pain were slowly becoming weaker and weaker, until they were eventually just little whimpers and whines. Frank absolutely hated to admit that he was glad that he was hurting so badly. Frank’s gaze then dropped down as Gerard lifted his apron up for a moment to wipe his hands off – he had been finding it hard to hold onto the handle of the knife with his hands so slicked up – and that’s when he noticed that he was _hard_. God what the fuck was wrong with Gerard? More importantly, what was wrong with _Frank_? He felt an odd warmth spread in his lower abdomen, his skin prickling slightly as he clinched his fingers against the hem of his shirt.

He was becoming a little excited, himself, his hips shifting back and forth slightly. It definitely _wasn’t_ because of what Gerard was doing. Frank knew that for certain. He thought this was absolutely horrific. But…Frank was still a teenager, his body still pumping hormones erratically through his body and making him react strangely to things. He couldn’t help that seeing another man hard would affect him in _some_ sort of way. He hated it. He didn’t want to feel that way right then. It was such an odd sensation to feel a little aroused but also sick to his stomach. God, he really should just leave. He needed to go back up to the couch and just _stop_ watching.

It took quite a bit of time before Gerard finally stopped stabbing Randal all over his body, making sure to not hit anywhere too vital so he wouldn’t kill him just yet. Sure, he was close to still bleeding out anyways from how much he had cut him up, but he just wanted to do _one_ more thing. He was done talking to Randal now. Just treating him as a little plaything that he was experimenting with and not as an actual person. Gerard pulled the knife back and placed it right below his sternum, breathing shallowly through his parted lips as he glanced up at Randal’s face. This was it. He was finally through with him.

Gerard sank the knife into Randal’s torso, dragging it down all the way down to the waistband of his pants. Randal’s guts began to spill out of him onto his lap, and Gerard grunted softly as he wormed his hand inside of the large, gaping wound, stabbing the knife back into his leg just to keep it there so he didn’t have to hold it.

Frank suddenly gagged, his hand flying over his mouth to stop himself from puking right there from what he was seeing. He only watched for just a few more seconds as Gerard began to tug out the man’s insides before he couldn’t handle it anymore. He just _couldn’t._ He bit down on his lip as he swallowed the contents of his stomach back down and he turned around to hurry back up the stairs as quietly as he could. Luckily Gerard had been much too captivated by what he was doing to even notice if Frank had happened to make any noise.

Gerard listened as Randal began to choke on his blood, a small gurgling noise emitting from his throat. It was so pleasant. So satisfying. Gerard reached up under his ribs, feeling around for his heart before he finally found it. He could feel it pumping weakly, the space between each beat was slowly growing longer. Gerard decided to just quicken the process of it stopping and clinched his fingers around it, digging his nails into it and smiling wickedly as Randal grunted, his body lurching slightly before falling limp.

Gerard was breathing raggedly as he stared down at Randal’s finally lifeless body, his hand creating a wet, sickening squelching noise as he slid it out of his guts. He was dead. He was gone and finally removed from this earth. Gerard felt so proud of himself for how well he had hurt him. He felt like he had satisfied himself and all of his urges he had to destroy him. Fuck, that was so good. Gerard shuddered and grunted quietly, his brows tugging together in pleasure as he stood up again. He looked down at his arm that had previously been inside of the other man. It was drenched in blood all the way to his elbow. He thought it looked so pretty on him.

Gerard gave a satisfied sigh as he pulled the knife out of the corpse, bringing it over to the other one that he had used and sitting it down. He had to clean those soon, but first he wanted to see how he looked. That was always one of his favorite things to do after he did this. He walked over excitedly to the other wall, moving to stand in front of the full length mirror he had placed there. He smiled widely as he finally got to see himself.

His arms and hands were covered in blood, so much so that it was dripping from his fingers and onto the tiled floor. His once white and pristine apron was now mostly red with only small patches of white, the fabric soaked in blood. Gerard could see the blood that he had smeared all over his throat and jaw, some of it even on his chin. He loved it. He thought he looked so good like that. He looked like how he felt like he should. It was as if he had been made to be covered in blood. Though, maybe he liked it because he sometimes pretended that it was his _own_ blood that was covering him. He sometimes felt as though _he_ should be the one in the chair. _He_ should be dead. _Gerard_ should have been the one who died that one night _instead_.

Gerard shook that thought from his head. He didn’t want to ruin such a wonderful moment by thinking such terrible things. He cleared his throat and looked at himself again, taking the wet apron off of himself. Once it was removed, he was able to see his erection in the mirror. That reminded him of just how aroused he was, somehow he had forgotten about it for just a moment. He figured that he needed to take care of himself before he went upstairs to see Frank again.

 _Frank_. Fuck, Gerard was so happy that he was there now. He couldn’t wait to get all cleaned up so he could spend time with him again. He needed to take care of the carcass first of course. There was no point in cleaning off if he was just going to get dirty again by touching the body. Gerard sighed and walked over to one of the shelves in the back of the room, picking up a sturdy, ninety six gallon trash bag. They were made for the outdoor trash cans, but they worked okay for bodies. Though, Randal was rather large. Gerard grabbed another bag from the little box and his duct tape before he made his way back to the man.

He eventually untied his body and pushed him into the floor, humming pleasantly as he slid one of the bags over his upper half before doing the same to the lower half. Luckily they overlapped quite a bit, so he just grabbed the tape and began to wrap it around the open end of one of the bags. He layered the tape quite a few times, making sure that it was nice and secure. Normally Gerard would cut the body up and then place them into bags, but he was kind of in a hurry right then. He wanted to go see Frank again so bad. He couldn’t wait.

He dragged the bag over to the corner, opting to leave it there for now instead of trying to take it out on his property and burying it. He was going to do that later when Frank went to sleep again since he was certain that Frank would wake up from this current nap before he would be able to get back in time. Now Gerard could begin to clean everything else up.

He walked over to one of the hoses that was hooked up to a pipe and turned the knob on before dragging it to the chair. He clenched the handle on the nozzle and began to spray it down, the harsh pressure of the water easily rinsed the blood off of everything and down to the floor. He was glad he had thought to add little drains to the floor, it made clean up so much easier for him. Eventually Gerard got the chair and the floors cleaned off, along with his knives as well. He ended up just tossing the apron in the trash, knowing that it would be pointless to try to salvage it. He had plenty more stored away anyways.

Gerard put the hose away and began to hum absentmindedly as he walked over to the other corner in the back of the room. He had made it into a little showering area for him so he would be able to clean off downstairs seeing as he didn’t want to track blood up to the first floor. He peeled his clothes off of his body, being careful with his pants and boxers since he felt so sensitive, and he tossed the articles to the side before standing under the shower head. Once he turned the water on and the warmth of it ran over him, he shuddered pleasantly. Getting cleaned off was almost as good as getting dirtied up.

He made sure to rinse off all of the blood before he slid his hand down his torso, teasing himself as he rested his fingers below his naval. He leaned against the cool wall, his breath catching in his throat as he lightly trailed his nails in tiny circles over his lower stomach. Fuck it felt good. He loved how it almost tickled him, causing his cock to twitch in anticipation. Gerard’s eyes fluttered closed, his dark lashes creating dramatic shadows over his cheeks as he swallowed thickly.

A moan was ripped out of him as he finally wrapped his fingers around himself in a firm grasp, his hips bucking forwards into his fist reflexively as he began to stroke up and down. “F-Fuck…” He panted. “Oh, God.” Gerard swiped his thumb over his slit, spreading his precum down along his length as he began to move his hand faster. He let his mind wander as he touched himself, thinking of things that would help get him off. A certain thought kept reoccurring over and over again. It was of Frank – of course – only he was covered in blood. But it wasn’t his own blood. It was some random person’s that they happened to find and take. He imagined Frank sinking a blade into the victims stomach, twisting it and causing the person to squirm in pain.

Fuck, Frank would be so hot as he killed someone. He would be so pretty and beautiful and Gerard wanted to see it. He wanted to see Frank lose himself the way that Gerard did. They could be killers together, a wonderful tag team. They would never get caught. “Frankie…” Gerard moaned as he began to imagine kissing Frank in that moment. Their bodies would stick together from the blood and it would just get smeared all over them even further and they dragged their hands hotly over each other. Just so desperate map out each other’s bodies. He knew it was never going to happen, but he could dream. It was too arousing for him to stop thinking about it even if he wanted to.

Soon Gerard’s strokes began to falter, his hips stuttering up as he tightened his grasp on himself. He was getting close, a tight heat beginning to coil itself in his stomach, his limbs feeling as though they were getting filled with static as he massaged his thumb right under the head of his cock. “ _A-Ah!_ ” He gasped out suddenly as his orgasm tore through him. His other hand flew up to his face as he panted into his palm, moaning over and over again. “Frank, Frank, _Frank_.” Gerard babbled as his hips twitched and jerked, his back arching as his cum spurted out all over his pale knuckles and lower stomach. He continued to stroke himself slowly as he came down, his length softening and beginning to grow oversensitive as he tried to catch his breath.

That took quite a bit out of him. It had to have been one of the most pleasurable orgasms that he had had in quite some time. He slumped back against the wall with a groan, feeling completely exhausted and lax. He hummed lazily as he looked down at himself, beginning to clean himself off again. This time he actually used his soap instead of just rinsing off, and he made sure to also wash his hair as well. He always had to be careful about getting blood on it since it was white. It eventually washed out of course, but it was just always so hard to clean.

He reached forwards after allowing himself some time to just stand under the hot spray of the water and turned the knobs off. He shuddered as the cold air of the basement ghosted over his skin, hurriedly grabbing his robe from the hook by the shower. He slipped it on quickly and tied it closed before glancing around the room. Everything seemed to be in order. It almost looked as though he hadn’t even been in there at all, the only thing that gave it away was the obvious body stuffed into the bags that was sat in the corner. Gerard shook his head when he remembered that he would have to take care of that later, not looking forward to it at all. That was the only thing that Gerard didn’t like about what he did. But it was worth it.

Gerard felt so much better than he had in quite some time. He had finally gotten to kill again, and not only that, but Frank was just upstairs. Gerard would finally be able to just curl up with him and get a little rest. Though, he still needed to make some food for Frank. He was extremely happy to do it though. Gerard would do absolutely anything for Frank. He didn’t care what it was. God, he was so in love with him. He couldn’t believe that Frank was slowly getting more and more used to him. Hell, Frank had even _kissed_ him. Sure, it had been during quite an emotional moment, but it still happened. Gerard smiled softly at the thought of it and began to walk towards the door to exit the basement, he was ready to see the boy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! My good friend joyghoul on tumblr made an excellent playlist for the fic so far! Here is a link to it!
> 
> You can also find his ao3 here!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In light of what Frank has seen, Gerard is forced to delve into his tragic past.

As soon as Frank made it back up the stairs, he stumbled quickly back to the living room. He dropped down onto the couch, yanking the blanket over his head to create an almost protective cocoon surrounding himself. He was just…so fucking lost on how to feel about anything. It was almost as if what he had just seen hadn’t really happened, like he wasn’t able to fully comprehend it. He was just in complete shock.

Seeing Gerard act so violently had stunned him. He had known that Gerard was capable of being a little aggressive and sometimes lashed out, but he hadn’t known that he was capable of reaching that level. It was horrific. Frank had heard about killers and the things that they did on the News. He had even seen some pretty gruesome scenes in some of his favorite movies. But none of that, _none_ , could have prepared him for what he had witnessed. Gerard was fucking _crazy_.

He was a _murderer_. Frank knew that Randal wasn’t his first victim. There was no way that that had been Gerard’s first time killing anyone. He had been to confident. He had known exactly how to torture and kill Randal without any sort of hesitation on anything. It wasn’t even just that. It was also the fact that the basement had been converted into some sort of torture chamber or some shit. The memory of all of the rumors that surrounded Gerard suddenly slammed forward in Frank’s mind. Shit, they had been _true_? God what the everloving _fuck_?!

Fuck, Frank felt _sick_. He felt like he could just throw up until he passed out. Gerard was right there in the basement doing God knows what to Randal’s dead body. Fuck, he sincerely hoped that Gerard wasn’t… _doing things_ with it. A violent shudder ripped through Frank and he grimaced as his stomach churned uncomfortably. Gerard wasn’t _that_ sick, was he? Frank whimpered as he tugged the blanked around himself even tighter. He was scared. He was really fucking _scared_. What was Gerard going to do to him? Would he ever do anything like _that_ to him? Oh god, Frank was terrified.

_________________________

Gerard hummed pleasantly as he walked towards the lower basement door before he reached it and realized that it was _open_. Shit, that wasn’t good. How long had it been like that? Did Gerard not shut it properly? Gerard tried to calm himself down and looked back to Randal’s body in the trash bags. Frank hadn’t heard him scream, had he? Gerard quickly walked up the stairs, using his key to lock the upper door to the basement before quietly making his way to the living room. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Frank was curled up on the couch, seemingly asleep. Man, he must have really been worn out to be able to sleep through everything that had happened. Gerard found himself extremely grateful for that stroke of luck. He didn’t exactly know how it would work out if Frank had found out what he had done.

Now that Gerard was no longer worried, he really wanted to lay down with Frank again, but he had to get dressed first. He couldn’t risk his robe opening accidentally and exposing himself. That wouldn’t be too fun to deal with. He quickly got changed into a pair of baggy, light grey sweatpants and slipped on a loose black tee to cover his torso. He used his robe to sort of run over his hair to dry it further, before tossing it in the little hamper he had in the corner of his room.

Once he was finally dressed properly, Gerard tugged the hem of his shirt to adjust it before walking out of his room and down the staircase. He felt so _good_. He felt the most relief he had felt in _years_. The pain was just barely even there at the moment, only a small discomfort was twisting around in his organs. Gerard felt…happy.

Gerard entered the living room with a content smile pulling at the corners of his lips and he made his way over to the couch. He looked over Frank, his eyebrow raising in amusement at the way he was laying with the blanket over his head. Gerard didn’t understand how anyone could sleep like that. It always made him feel as though he was suffocating. “Frankie?” He whispered, dropping down to crouch in front of the sofa as he tugged the blanket off of the boy’s face.

Frank quickly fixed his expression to be one that was more relaxed and natural when the cover was removed. His heart began to hammer in his chest as he hoped that it looked like he was actually asleep. He flinched when he felt Gerard’s cool fingers graze over his cheek, and he fluttered his eyes open when Gerard apologized softly. He must have assumed that he flinched because of the bruises littering his skin, and not because of what he had seen Gerard do. “I just wanted to check up on you.” Gerard spoke in a soothing voice, almost making Frank forget that he had just murdered someone. How could someone be so kind also be a merciless killer? “How are you doing?”

“Good.” Frank mumbled as he tried not to pull away from the way Gerard was reaching down to hold his hand. He was just so confused on how to act. Gerard had been so scary earlier. He had shaken Frank right down to his core, and now the man was trying to grab onto him with the same hand that had been _inside_ of Randal’s guts. Fuck, that was disgusting.

Gerard furrowed his brow and brushed Frank’s hair out of his face. “Are you sure? Do you need anything?” He murmured. He was just so concerned for the boy. He had been through so much and all Gerard wanted to do was take care of him and make him feel better. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?”

Frank shook his head at that question. There was no way he would be able to eat after seeing something like that. He would have to wait until his stomach wasn’t so unsettled. Who knew when that would be? “I-I’m okay…”

“Frankie…” Gerard sighed as he tilted his head to the side. “You need to eat something.” He persisted as his brows tugged together in concern.

Frank groaned softly and pushed himself back against the cushions as he tugged the blanket back up to hide. He wanted Gerard to just go away. He needed some more time to actually process everything. “I don’t want to. I feel too sick.” He insisted, which it wasn’t a _lie_.

Gerard breathed a small noise of sympathy, the sound of it coming from deep in his chest. “Frank, please let me see you. Let me feel your head and see if you’re running a fever.” He asked gently as he shifted to sit on his knees instead of crouching awkwardly. He remembered that Frank was easily susceptible to getting sick, so he really hoped that that wasn’t what was happening. Of course he would do anything to help him feel better and nurse him back to health without question.

Even though Frank _really_ didn’t want to let Gerard touch him anymore, he was much too scared of what would happen if he tried to go against the older man. Now that he truly knew what he was capable of, Frank didn’t want to be on the receiving end of it. He tugged the blanket down off of his face again and looked up at Gerard with slight fear laced in his mossy eyes. He knew that he wasn’t actually running a fever, so he was a little worried about what Gerard would have to say.

Gerard hadn’t actually noticed the way that Frank was looking at him as he raised his hand up to press his cool fingers over the soft skin of his forehead. He felt rather heated, but it was hard for Gerard to actually tell if it was because he was running a fever, or if it was just because his hands were so cold that it made his skin feel warmer than it actually was. “I can’t tell…” Gerard admitted a little sheepishly and frowned again. “My hands are much too cold. I’ll have to try to find my thermometer in a bit.” He told Frank and sat back on his heels again.

Frank hated to admit how good Gerard’s gentle touch had felt on his head, but he wasn’t able to stop his eyes from fluttering closed with a sigh from the contact. “It’s okay.” Frank murmured and looked down at the floor. “I think I just need more rest.” He shrugged, wincing as it caused his shoulder to twinge in slight pain. God, he was just bruised all over.

Gerard carefully rested his hand over Frank’s side in concern and he slid it up and down the curve of his body. “Maybe you should take a hot shower, sweetheart.” He suggested as he began to fiddle with the hem of Frank’s shirt. “It will help loosen up all of your tight muscles and make you feel more relaxed.”

Frank honestly really liked the idea of getting to take a shower. It would give him time to clean off and also to be away from Gerard to actually process everything. God, why did Gerard have to be so damn gentle with him? Why did he have to make everything so confusing? Frank shuddered slightly at the way he was touching him, partly from pleasure and partly from discomfort. It was an odd mixture of emotions. “Okay.” He agreed, nodding and closing his eyes again for a moment.

Gerard smiled warmly at the boy. He was just so pretty that Gerard couldn’t handle it sometimes. “God, you’re so beautiful.” He blurted out suddenly, making Frank startle slightly and look up at him with confusion.

“Wh-What made you say that?” Frank questioned since they hadn’t even been talking about anything of that nature. It had actually caught him a little off guard, causing the skin of his face to heat up as a delicate pink blush dusted his cheeks.

Gerard breathed a small laugh and moved to cup Frank’s face extremely gently, almost as if he were afraid Frank would break if he gripped him any tighter. “I was just merely making an observation, my love.” He cooed as he leant forwards to press a delicate kiss to Frank’s lips, making Frank’s face flush deeper in return. “It’s hard to not say that every second, seeing as how magnificent you are…” Gerard smiled, his small teeth on display as he felt warmth spread through him. He felt so incredibly lucky to be able to kiss Frank like that now.  “Not to mention that you look cute when you blush, so that’s only another reason to say things like that.” He shrugged with a giggle as Frank whined and covered his face bashfully.

Frank was just so thrown off completely with the way Gerard was acting. It was as if he hadn’t just got finished with killing someone. How was he able to switch gears so easily? It was so hard for Frank to not react shyly to him since no one really ever spoke to him that way. Normally Frank was always the one that was super flirty and always gave compliments, but around Gerard he just seemed to be the one that was always so flustered now. He couldn’t let that get the best of him though. He couldn’t fall for Gerard’s charm that he seemed to be able to work so well on him. Gerard was a fucking murderer. He _killed_ people. He wondered how many people Gerard had actually killed. How many people’s guts had Gerard wormed his hands into?

Frank grimaced, his stomach feeling sick rather abruptly again as he looked back at Gerard. The memory of the pure rage that contorted Gerard’s face when he had killed Randal flickered in Frank’s mind. His heart began to beat faster, adrenaline beginning to pump through his aching body. He didn’t want to be around Gerard. He didn’t want him to be touching him and kissing him. He wanted him to fucking go away.  Frank pulled his face away from Gerard’s hand and averted his gaze from the other man, his sudden cold demeanor throwing Gerard off.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked. He was frowning at Frank, his brows pulled together in concern. He reached forward and tried to grab his hand, but Frank yanked it out of his grasp.

“D-Don’t touch me.” Frank whispered with unease. He anxiously flickered his gaze up to Gerard and bit down on his lip. Fuck, Gerard was probably going to get pissed off at him now. Oh God, what if Gerard was going to hurt him now since he was acting rude.

Gerard retracted his hand and rested it on his own thigh. The sharp edge in Frank’s voice cut Gerard deeply. What the fuck was wrong with him? Things had been going so fucking perfect just a few moments ago. “Why are you acting like this?” Gerard huffed. “What did I do?” He was so desperate to understand why Frank seemed to be be so uncomfortable with him now.

Frank shook his head and sat himself up. The blanket stayed draped over his shoulders securely as he shuffled to bring his legs up to his chest.. “Nothing.” He lied. “I j-just— I need to be alone…right now…”

Gerard’s frown deepened and he pushed himself back to sit onto the coffee table instead of the floor. He began to wring his hands together before scraping his nails through his hair. “Frank. Please…Did I do something to upset you? You were completely fine just a second ago.” He pleaded slightly.

Frank was almost tempted to tell Gerard that he had seen what he had done. That he had watched him transform into this _monster_ as he tortured Randal. It was so fucking horrifying. But Frank didn’t tell him. He didn’t want to find out how Gerard would react to him knowing his dark secret. “No, you didn’t do anything.” Frank insisted as he curled his fingers around the edge of the blanket.

“Frank, I don’t understand. I don’t— I just… _Frank_.” Gerard’s voice sounded akin to a whimper. His fingers were starting to drum against his thigh jerkily which made Frank’s eyes get drawn to the movement. He always felt so nervous when Gerard got twitchy. It usually meant that he was becoming more unstable. “Wh-Why are you acting like this i-if I didn’t do anything?” He stammered out as he reached for Frank’s hand again.

Frank squeaked and yanked his hand away again. “Fuck, I said _don’t touch me_!” He snapped before he realized his mistake.

Gerard narrowed his eyes and stood up. The tone of voice Frank had spoken to him in had sort of triggered him to feel a sense of anger bubble up in his veins. He didn’t like when people snapped at him. He _especially_ didn’t like it when Frank did. “Don’t speak to me like that!” He yelled in retaliation. “I don’t know what your fucking problem is, Frank, but I don’t fucking appreciate the way you’re treating me.” He snarled, baring his teeth at the boy.

Frank whimpered and cowered back against the couch, his hands flying up to hide his face. “F-Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” He squeaked desperately. This was it. Gerard was going to kill him wasn’t he? Frank really should’ve just let Gerard touch him. He should have just pretended that it was all okay and that he wasn’t uncomfortable. “P-Please don’t kill me.” He whispered pathetically.

Gerard froze, his fists unclenching by his sides. He hadn’t even noticed that he had clenched them in the first place. “W-What?” He breathed incredulously, his voice much softer than it had been a few moments ago. Frank just looked so terrified of him all of a sudden. He looked so small. “Why would you- Why would you even _think_ that I would- that I would _kill_ you?” He whispered. Where had that even come from? Frank had never seemed to be afraid of him doing that before. Gerard’s eyes widened as a realization hit him. The basement door… It had been open. Had Frank…seen him?

“Frank.” Gerard said, his voice carrying a serious tone. “Frank…what did you see?”

Frank nervously looked up at Gerard. He was practically shaking. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lied.

Gerard knew that Frank wasn’t telling the truth. He would have to be an idiot to not be able to tell. Oh man, this was bad. This was _bad_. Frank was never going to want to be with him now. He was never going to feel safe with him now that he knew what he was. “You saw me kill him, didn’t you?”

Frank emitted a small noise when Gerard actually admitted to doing it. It was like it made it more real. It cemented it in this plane of reality and now Frank wasn’t able to try to pretend that he hadn’t really seen Gerard do that. “N-No, I didn’t, I _didn’t_.” He whimpered shakily. He just couldn’t stop trembling. It made him feel so weak and pathetic. Frank absolutely hated it. “I-I promise I didn’t see anything.”

Gerard sighed. This was terrible. This just messed everything up. “Please quit lying to me, Frank. Please. I-I’m not going to hurt you.” He whispered as he sat down on the couch. His heart felt like it shattered when Frank shifted away from him, his stomach twisting in pain.

Frank was still scared. He hated the almost suffocating sensation of fear that was swelling up inside of him. “Why did you do it?” Frank suddenly asked as he risked a glance at Gerard.

Gerard hadn’t been expecting that question, but he was going to answer it as honestly as he could. Frank deserved to know. “He hurt you, Frank.” He began to explain. Gerard reached forward and wrapped his arm around Frank’s shoulder to tug him against him. The pain in his gut was beginning to get worse and he needed some sort of relief before it got too bad. Luckily Frank didn’t move away from him this time. He tried to pretend that it wasn’t because he was too scared to. “He took you from me and he was going to do so many terrible things to you, Frank. I couldn’t let him get away with that.”

Frank whimpered and looked back up at Gerard, trying to ignore how close it brought their faces together. He could feel Gerard’s hot breath ghosting against his own lips, but he couldn’t focus on that. “You were so terrifying, Gerard. I w-was so scared.”

Gerard hated that it caused a strange sense of pride to run through him when Frank said that. He had always liked that he was able to make himself so menacing. But he didn’t like that he had made Frank become frightened by him. He only liked his victims to be scared of him. “Frank. God, I could never fucking hurt you like that, okay? You’re all that matters to me.” Gerard gave the boy a gentle squeeze and tipped his head to the side. “If you were watching, then you had to have heard the way I was talking about you, yeah?”

Frank bit down on his lip and nodded slowly. Gerard really had been talking about him like he was the most precious thing in the world. It was just so overwhelming to try to process it all though. “Yeah…”

“Then you know how much you mean to me, right?” Gerard murmured. “I would rather die than to be without you, Frank. I need you to fucking grasp that I could never do anything like that to you.” His voice was so desperate as he spoke. He couldn’t live with Frank being scared of him like that.

Frank finally pulled himself away from Gerard and looked down at his lap. “You’re a _murderer_ , Gerard.” Frank huffed. “And he wasn’t the first person that you killed, was he?”

Frank had sounded so accusing when he said that word. He spat it out like it tasted bad on his tongue. Gerard grasped at his stomach as the pain only got worse, and he scrubbed a shaking hand over his face. “No…He wasn’t.” He admitted.

“How many people have you…um…killed?” Frank whispered. He almost didn’t want to hear his answer.

Gerard swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. Fuck, why did he have to ask _that_ question. “I don’t remember…”

Frank turned to look at Gerard, his eyebrows raised. “What?” He questioned accusingly. “You don’t _remember_?”

The older man shook his head. “N-No, I don’t remem—“

“You took people’s lives. _Human_ lives, and you don’t even remember all of them?” Frank scoffed. He wasn’t as scared of Gerard at the moment. He knew now that Gerard meant it when he said that he wouldn’t kill him.

Gerard frowned. “I-I just— There’s too many…” He whispered. Gerard had killed way too many people to really be able to remember _all_ of them. He only remembered the ones that had managed to make an impression on him.

“Fuck.” Frank huffed, shaking his head in almost disappointment. That hurt Gerard more than Frank being scared of him. “Were you ever going to tell me? Were you just going to try to keep killing people while _keeping_ me here?”

Gerard nodded and began to chew on his fingernails roughly, tearing at them with his teeth. He didn’t stop until one of them started to bleed which only made Frank grimace. “I swear I was. I was going to tell you, Frankie. I just wanted to wait a little bit longer. I had to get ready for it.” He whispered. “Fuck, it took me over a _year_ to just come up to you and say ’hey’. Of course it was going to take me some time to prepare myself to tell you about what I did.”

Frank ran one of his hands through his hair, finding that it was still dirty as he hadn’t been able to take a shower yet. He remembered when Gerard had first come up to him that day that he took him. He had been so nervous. Frank suddenly remembered about how Gerard had caught him and saved him from falling flat on his face. That had been so fucking embarrassing. Who knew that that guy would end up being the dude that kidnapped him. God, his life was so fucking messed up. “Why…?” He whispered the question softly.

Gerard raised an eyebrow and stared at Frank. “Why what?”

“Why do you…kill people?” Frank elaborated. “What made you start doing it?”

Gerard’s eyes widened at the last question, his mind getting transported to that terrible moment. “No, I can’t— I can’t tell you. I don’t want to think a-about it…” He whispered. His voice was filled with an emotion that Frank hadn’t ever heard from Gerard before. His voice was just so small. That just made him more curious.

Frank swallowed thickly and looked back up to Gerard. He knew that he had to be careful with how he spoke or else Gerard might not tell him.“Why are you like this?” He asked daringly, his voice quiet and hushed so it would make the question seem less harsh. “W-What happened to you that made you start killing people, Gerard?”

Gerard’s eyes flickered up to Frank’s, his pupils constricting and heart beginning to beat way too quickly in his chest as he stared at him. He didn’t want to tell him. He didn’t want to have to think back to that night. He could feel sweat begin to dampen his skin just from the anxiety those thoughts brought to him. “I-I— Frank, I _can’t_. _Please_ don’t make me remember…” He whispered brokenly as he shook his head frantically.

“Gerard, _please._ I need to know.” Frank implored. “I have to understand. I c-can’t be here if I don’t know what the fuck is going on inside your head.” He shifted closer and reached for Gerard’s hand in hopes that maybe Gerard would let him in on what was going through his head. It had obviously been rather devastating, but Frank felt like he had a right to know. He needed to understand Gerard. Frank looked up into Gerard’s eyes with an earnest gaze, his demeanor changing completely from how upset he had been just a few moments ago. He cleared his throat, feeling the older man’s pale fingers twitching in his grasp. “Please…”

Gerard whimpered softly and moved his hand to lace their fingers together, squeezing tightly to reassure himself that Frank was there now. That he was real and that he just wanted to know what made him the way he was. He realized that Frank deserved to know. If Gerard wanted Frank to be with him and truly understand, then he would have to share some things about himself. No matter how much it hurt. And fuck, this was definitely going to _hurt_. “O-Okay…I’ll tell you.” He forced out, closing his eyes as he tried to think about where to start. Frank gave his hand a squeeze of encouragement and waited silently.

“I was fourteen years old, and one night I was woken up by a noise…”

 _What sounded like a muffled scream awoke Gerard. His body jolted slightly as the noise pierced through his unconscious haze. He furrowed his brow and cracked his eyes open against the darkness of his room, lying completely still as he listened out for the sound again. The only thing that greeted him was silence. That, and the usual sounds that the old house made in its aging state. Eventually Gerard started to believe that the muted shriek had all just been a figment of his horror obsessed brain. He_ really _needed to cut down on how many horror movies he watched at a time. He breathed out a sigh, feeling much more relaxed, and he released his grip he didn’t even know he had on his sheets_.

 _As soon as he allowed his eyes to flutter closed again, finally just deciding to go back to sleep and forget about whatever he might have or might_ not _have heard, the noise rang out again. This time Gerard was_ certain _that it wasn’t coming from inside of his head. It sounded more real, more_ vivid. _Not only that, but as Gerard repeated the scream over and over again in his head, he realized that it sounded_ familiar _._

_The boy shot up, his blanket pooling around his waist as he allowed himself some time for his eyes to adjust to the darkness before swinging his legs over the side of his mattress and standing up as quietly as he could. He was careful to not make a sound as he fumbled around the pile of laundry in his floor to pull out a pair of semi-clean sweatpants and slip them on. He stumbled slightly as he made his way to his bedroom door, cursing himself silently for never actually cleaning his room._

_Gerard opened his door slowly, cringing as the hinges groaned in protest as it was pulled. He peeked his head out into the hallway, making sure that no one else was there before tiptoeing out of his room. He began to walk carefully but hurriedly as he made his way towards the sound of the struggle, his heart sinking as he realized that it was coming from his parents room. He knew that his mom and dad had always had their fair share of fights, but it never sounded like it did now. His mom never screamed like that before. Whenever she yelled it was always filled with anger, but now all Gerard was able to hear was_ fear _._

_Then suddenly there was another noise that rang out behind him, causing Gerard’s heart to seemingly stop beating in his chest out of fright. It was the obvious sound of a door getting pulled open, and Gerard moved to flatten himself against he wall instinctively. He clenched his eyes shut as he shook from the nerves, finally turning to look in the direction of the door that he had heard open._

_Immense relief flooded through the boy’s system immediately as he saw the unmistakable silhouette of his younger brother walking towards him. He could see that his hair was completely disheveled, sticking up wildly from how he always seemed to toss and turn while he slept. Gerard exhaled heavily and shook his head at himself because of how easily Mikey had startled him. He moved to stand in front of the younger boy and crouched to be more level with his face._

_“Mikey…” The elder of the two sighed on a gentle whisper as he lifted his hands to rest on his brother’s shoulders._

_“Gee?” Mikey questioned as he rubbed the sleep out of his bleary eyes. The same noises had apparently awoken him as well. “What’s happening?” He made sure to match the hushed tone that his older brother was speaking in, his voice still a little thick with sleep._

_Gerard pulled his brows together and shook his head. He began to run his fingers through Mikey’s hair to sort of tame it and began to speak. “I don’t—“ Another scream resonated throughout the otherwise quiet house, interrupting him firmly as he turned to look back at his parents door. He could feel Mikey tense up in his grip from the sound, so he quickly faced him again. “I don’t know, Mikes, but I need you to go back to your room. Okay?” He insisted in a grave tone of voice, showing that he was completely serious._

_Mikey’s eyes widened slightly at the way Gerard had sounded. While he had already been rather concerned about the muffled screams coming from the end of the hall, it frightened him even further to know that Gerard seemed worried too. Because Gerard never got scared. Gerard was his older brother that would always watch the scariest movies and draw the most gruesome scenes for a comic book that he was working on. He wasn’t scared of the dark, or spiders, or even any of the horrible murders that would show up on the local news of Belleville, New Jersey. He just wasn’t scared of_ anything _. Mikey on the other hand couldn’t stand any of those things. He always had to leave the room anytime the television showed some dreadful thing that had happened to someone in the town he lived in._

_“W-What are you gonna do, Gee?” Mikey whispered, his small hands moving to grasp at Gerard’s shirt as he looked up at his older brother. He had to squint to try to see his expression in the dark, his vision already impaired since he had forgotten to put on his glasses._

_Gerard shook his head again and exhaled a heavy sigh through his nose as he gave the younger boy’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “I don’t know…” He admitted solemnly and glanced back to the room where some different, stranger noises seemed to be coming from. “I’m just going to go in there and see what’s going on.” He finally said, giving a small nod of confirmation to himself. He really didn’t_ want _to see what was happening behind that door, but he knew that he couldn’t just stand there in the hall and do_ nothing.

 _“I need you to go back to your bed  and_ stay _there.” Gerard said once he turned back to face Mikey again. He knew that they were wasting time by staying there in the hallway. It was dangerous to be out there. Someone could see them. “_ Please _, Mikey, I just need you to stay safe.”_

 _Mikey’s grasp on his shirt tightened and he shook his head fervently. “No, Gerard. Please don’t go!” He whispered harshly, a desperate edge lacing his voice as he looked up to Gerard with wide, frightened eyes. “I don’t want you to get hurt, Gee,_ Please _.” He begged frantically as his lower lip began to wobble. He didn’t want to see his big brother get injured. Despite how young he was, it would be hard for Mikey to be oblivious to the fact that there was something seriously wrong._

 _Gerard knew that his brother was worried, and he had a_ right _to be. Something was definitely not right. But Gerard would much rather risk his_ own _life, than the life of his little brother. “Mikey, I need to do this.” He explained. He reached up to begin prying the boy’s fingers off of the collar of his shirt, which was rather difficult to do with the almost iron clad grip he had on the fabric. It was always surprising how strong the younger one was to him considering how he always appeared to be so frail and sickly. “Now go to your room and don’t come out until I tell you.” He hissed, desperate to get Mikey to just_ listen _to him already. “_ Please _, I just need to protect you, Mikes.” Gerard pleaded to his sibling. He didn’t know what he would do if anything ever happened to Mikey. He didn’t think that he would actually be able to handle that._

 _Mikey finally nodded solemnly, He understood that Gerard took his role as the older brother seriously, but sometimes he wished that he could get it through Gerard’s thick, stubborn head that sometimes, big brothers needed to be protected_ too _. “Okay…” He whispered. “But promise me something?” He asked quietly in a small voice, looking up to the man that he admired. To the man that he wanted to grow up to be._

 _Gerard raised an eyebrow curiously and quickly nodded in approval for him to go ahead and ask. He knew that they needed to hurry. “Yeah, Mikes,_ anything _.” He replied earnestly. There was nothing that he would ever deny the younger one of._

 _What sounded like a crash pierced the air. It sounded like it could have been just been a lamp or something getting knocked to the floor, but it still managed to startle both of the boys. Their breathing began to pick up, hearts hammering in their chest like the wings of  frantic birds desperate to escape their cages, and Mikey spoke much more quickly this time. “Promise me that you you won’t get hurt. Promise me that you’ll be okay._ Please _.” He pleaded passionately, his hands latching onto Gerard’s shirt again as he frantically tried to get him to comprehend just how desperate he was for him to stay safe._

 _Gerard forced out an airy chuckle and pulled Mikey in for a quick embrace. “Oh, Kiddo…” He sighed before pulling back and trying to offer the boy a reassuring smile. Despite how scared he was himself, he didn’t want Mikey to be afraid. “Of course I’ll be okay. When have I ever_ not _been okay?” He asked, making the corners of Mikey’s lips curl up into a tiny smile. That was much better. He always wanted to see Mikey smiling. “Now,” He continued, beginning to push Mikey towards the direction of his room. “Stay in your room until I say otherwise.”_

_Finally, much to Gerard’s relief, Mikey muttered a small, “Okay.” and began to retreat back down the hallway to his room. “I love you, Gee.” He murmured softly before he shut his door, waiting for Gerard to say it back. He always did that every time they went to bed. He couldn’t rest unless Gerard told him he loved him too, sometimes actually making him tuck him into bed as well. His older brother was always the one that really took care of him. Their parents weren’t really a dominant force in their lives. Neither of them were close to them, as they were always too busy with their extremely important jobs as private defense lawyers or too busy fighting with each other. The only thing that they ever gave them was money and a place to stay, but that’s not really all that children needed._

_Luckily the two boys had each other. While Gerard had to sort of grow up without really any parental guidance, he did his best to give as much as he could to Mikey. He made sure that dinner was actually cooked for him and not just take out, and he always took care of him when he was sick and helped him with homework. Just pretty much anything he was able to do for the young boy, he did it. Mikey was his whole world. He was all that he had. He wouldn’t give him up for_ anything.

 _“I love you too, Mikes.” Gerard replied, and finally the door clicked shut quietly. When Gerard was certain that Mikey wasn’t going to come out again, he pushed himself up and turned back to face his parents’ room. He was actually rather astonished that they had managed to avoid getting caught by anyone while they were talking in the hallway. Gerard huffed out a small noise and began to walk towards the door, running a hand through his oily black hair, his bare feet padding against the carpeted floor as he grew closer. It suddenly hit Gerard that his ears were beginning to ring, and he realized it’s because everything was so eerily_ silent _. There were no more noises resonating from the end of the hall, and that somehow frightened Gerard much more than the screams had._

_Once he reached his parents door, he anxiously reached for the knob with shaky fingers, swallowing thickly as he turned it silently. He used to be so jealous of how quiet his parents door was. It always glided silently over the floor and never made a sound. But now, as he began to push it open just a few inches to peek inside, he could never be more appreciative of the fact._

_The sight that greeted him on the other side of the door was gut wrenchingly horrendous. There was a man that was dressed completely in black with his back luckily turned to Gerard. He was standing over his parents bed and holy_ fuck, _there was blood_ everywhere _. It was sprayed over the usually pristine walls, a few stray drops even managing to stain the ceiling as well. The mattress looked absolutely drenched in the crimson liquid, so much so that it almost looked black in the dim lighting of the room. But the blood wasn’t really what was bothering Gerard. No…It was where the blood had originally come from._

 _There were two bodies situated on the bed, both of them with their wrists tied together above their heads to the headboard. There was a what_ used _to be some white clothes that were now stained red wrapped around their heads and fashioned into gags, but Gerard knew that the gags were pointless now, seeing as they were_ dead. _There was a multitude of stab wounds all over each of their torsos and stomachs, blood staining the skin around the areas and dripping down to the sheets. Their throats looked even worse. They were lacerated so badly that it seemed like the only thing keeping their heads still connected to their bodies was just a thread of skin. As Gerard looked down at their legs, he saw that they resembled meat that had been put through a blender rather than actual limbs. It was horrific, but that wasn’t even the thing that got to him the most._

 _What really shook Gerard down to his core was their eyes. They were so empty and far off, like they were trying to focus on something that wasn’t even there. It made Gerard feel sick. He couldn’t look at them for any longer. He didn’t wasn’t to refer to the corpses in the bed as his parents because they didn’t even_ look _like his parents. They looked like complete strangers like that, and that’s not how Gerard wanted to really remember them._

_Gerard finally broke out of his trance when he saw the dark shape of the intruder shift, and he quickly shut the door as silently as he could before turning to run down the hall. He made sure to keep his steps light and swift to stay quiet, despite how shaky he felt. He had to do something. He had to call the police! Unfortunately the house phone was in the living room, which was downstairs. Gerard had to get to it though. He needed to call them to come take this man away from them and lock him up. He knew he would be okay without his parents, he could handle that since they weren’t really ever there for him anyways, but he needed to protect his baby brother._

_Gerard nearly tripped down the stairs once he finally arrived to them, but he managed to catch himself on the railing before he tumbled down them. He glanced behind himself swiftly to make sure that he wasn’t being followed, and he was relieved to see that his parents door was still closed. That meant he still had some time. He swiftly began to run down the stairs, skipping every other step as he did so. He practically leapt over the couch once he reached the living room, desperate to get to the other side of the room to get to the phone._

_By the time he arrived at the phone, he suddenly heard footsteps thudding above his head. The gait was much too long and the steps too heavy to be Mikey’s, so the only person it could have been was the intruder. Gerard began to panic, his entire body shaking as he pulled the phone off of the receiver and held it to his ear. That’s when he noticed that the cord had been cut, and it just dangled freely instead of connecting to the rest of the phone. He glanced down and noticed that the phone line had_ also _been cut. Fuck, now he was helpless. He wasn’t able to call_ anyone _for help. As he heard the steps begin to make their way towards the direction of Mikey’s bedroom, Gerard realized that he could no longer waste anymore time fretting in the living room._

 _He hurriedly ran back to the stairs, a mantra of_ ‘I have to protect Mikey, I have to protect Mikey’ _echoing in his head over and over again. As he looked up the steps, Gerard regrettably realized that he should have just taken the boy out of his bedroom so they could flee the house instead of trying to call the cops. That would have been the safest option, but he hadn’t been thinking too clearly at the time. All he could do now was just try to get to him before anything happened._

_It felt like an eternity that Gerard was dragging himself up the stairs, his limbs refusing to move fast enough as he tried to get back to his brother. It suddenly felt as though he couldn’t breathe, like there were ropes wrapped around him, constricting him and tugging him in the opposite direction that he was so desperate to go. He was nearly convinced that he was experiencing an extremely vivid nightmare, like a night terror. The kind where no matter how hard you struggle and fight, your body just refuses to move, and your throat feels like it’s closing up so you’re unable to scream. It was absolutely terrifying, and Gerard frantically tried his best to break out of the hold the metaphorical ropes had on him._

_Finally._ finally _, Gerard managed to pull himself to the top of the stairs, his blood was rushing through his body as it pumped adrenaline through his system. His heart nearly stopped completely in his chest as he heard the absolutely_ horrific _scream of his baby brother crying out for him. That’s when everything began to speed up back to real time, and Gerard was broken out of his nightmarish daze. He scrambled desperately to dash down the hallway, hurrying to get to Mikey’s room as fast as his legs could carry him._

 _He burst into the room finally, the door slamming harshly against the wall with the force he had pushed it open. No. No, no, no,_ no _! He froze immediately at what he saw. The intruder was standing behind Mikey now, one of his large arms wrapped around the boy’s throat tightly in a headlock fashion. He had a knife positioned right above his brother’s gut, and the man was looking at Gerard with dark eyes that were completely void of any true human emotion. Gerard could feel a sense of dread wash over him, but the completely petrified look that his brother was giving him was enough to replace that feeling with rage and a sense of protectiveness._

 _“Let him_ go _.” Gerard snarled, widening his stance and puffing up in a pathetic attempt to make himself seem bigger as he darted his gaze over the man’s face , trying to think of what to do._

_The intruder shook his head slowly and gave a repulsive smile, making Gerard feel nauseated. “I don’t think so, Kid.” He scoffed. Even his voice sounded repulsive as he spoke, and he began to press the knife closer to Mikey’s skin tauntingly. Still smiling as he did so._

_Gerard risked taking a small step forward, glaring at the older man., but that only resulted in the man stepping back and adding more pressure to the blade. Mikey, who had been much too terrified to try to speak, gasped out a pained noise as the sharp edge of the blade began to break through his skin, already having torn through the fabric of his thin night shirt. The sound sparked another flame of anger to flare up in his lungs, and his own eyes darkened in rage. “Let him go,_ now _.”_

_The stranger was about to retort again, but Mikey beat him to it. “No, Gee. You gotta leave.” He hissed through gritted teeth, the pain of the blade pressing slowly against his gut was making it hard for him to speak. “You gotta go somewhere safe! You promised me, remember?” The intruder raised his eyebrows with amusement. He figured it would be interesting to see what the two boy’s would have to say to each other._

_Gerard huffed and shook his head frantically. He didn’t care what he had promised. He would rather fucking die than to let Mikey get hurt. “Mikey, I’m not going anywhere. I have to protect—“_

_“Gerard.” The younger one interrupted harshly, breathing shallowly from the pain that was growing in his lower abdomen. “S-Sometimes,_ I _need to b-be the one protecting_ you _.” For someone so young, Mikey was rather selfless and intelligent when it came to things like this._

 _Gerard couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could Mikey think that this was what he was supposed to do? He shook his head again. He wasn’t going to let Mikey do this. Not in_ his _lifetime. He opened his mouth to speak again, but he was suddenly cut off by the stranger._

_“Well, this has been fun.” He sighed. “Listening to your trivial arguing about who’s going to save who and blah blah blah.” He mocked, pulling the knife away from Mikey’s stomach for a moment to wave it around in the air languidly. Gerard could see some of his parents’ blood dripping from the tip of it and down onto the floor. “But, the truth of the matter is…” The man paused for effect and smirked again, making Gerard’s stomach twist in disgust. “Neither of you are going to be getting out of here alive.”_

_Both Gerard and Mikey felt terrified, but Gerard was mostly angry. He wasn’t going to believe that. The only person in that room that Gerard was going to let die, was the man that was holding onto his brother. “Listen here, you_ fucker _.” Gerard gritted out, taking yet another step closer towards the other man. “I’ll fucking kill you if you try_ anything _.”_

 _The man made a mock surprised face, his mouth dropping open and eyes widening obviously before he breathed a dark chuckle. “Oh?” He asked with faux curiosity. “Do you mean something like_ this _?”_

 _Gerard was confused for a moment, his brows tugging together slightly as he stared at the man. But soon his eyes widened and he realized what he had meant as the blade suddenly disappeared into Mikey’s stomach and was dragged up to the boy’s heart. “_ Mikey! _” He cried out loudly as he watched his brother begin to choke on his own blood, unable to even scream in pain._

_Gerard felt something break inside of him right then. It was as if his mind just shattered completely and the pieces of it became corroded and rotten to where was absolutely no way of putting them back together correctly again. It would always be twisted and mangled if it was ever actually salvaged. As Gerard looked back up to the man, he looked taller somehow, and his throat suddenly felt raw, like he had swallowed razorblades. That’s when Gerard realized that he was screaming, the sound was filled with agony and torment as it reached his own ears. It didn’t even sound like him. He glanced down and became conscious of the fact that he was now curled up on his knees, realizing that that was the reason the man appeared to be taller. He felt like he no longer had any control over his body, his fingers were tangling themselves in his hair and ripping out clumps of the dark strands. Hot tears streamed down his face heavily without his consent._

_The man laughed as he watched Gerard get consumed by his anguish. He released his grasp on Mikey’s body after it stopped squirming, letting it fall to the floor with a sickening thud. The noise made Gerard’s gaze flicker to his little brother – to his little brother’s_ corpse _– and it made his gut twist in repulsion. He felt bile begin to rise up his throat at the sight of the younger boy’s lifeless eyes, and he quickly lurched to the side to empty the contents of his stomach onto the floor; all while the intruder just watched with a pleased expression._

 _Gerard pulled back when he was finished, using the back of his hand to wipe the spit from his lips as he looked up at the man with a furious snarl. “You,” He growled as he shoved himself to stand on his shaky legs. “You are going to_ pay. _” He warned, his voice low and filled with unfathomable rage as he stepped closer to the man. He didn’t care that he had the advantage of a knife. If Gerard ended up getting killed then he wouldn’t care. Why would he ever want to live in a world that his little brother had been murdered right in front of is eyes?_

_The man just laughed again and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh? What are you gonna do to me?” He asked as he looked the boy up and down. “Hm, Pretty boy?”He taunted. He wasn’t afraid of Gerard. He was much smaller than he was, not to mention he still had a bit of a baby face. His features were rather soft and delicate, so it was hard for him to look menacing._

_Gerard growled and launched himself at the man. He was so fucking angry. He didn’t think that he had ever felt this way before. Gerard, only managing to get in one punch before he was abruptly shoved back against Mikey’s bed, and the man was climbing on top of him to pin him down by his wrists. He sat down on his hips so he wasn’t able to kick him off either. “Is that all you got?” He chuckled. He had to admit, seeing Gerard try so desperately to fight him was amusing._

_“Fuck you! Get off of me!” Gerard screeched, his voice cracking slightly as he thrashed about. He hated how fucking weak he was. He had always been that way. He had always been small and had pretty much no muscle at all. That was what had always made him such an easy target for all of the jocks at his school. That, and the fact that he was the strange artsy kid that wore dark clothes and liked horror films and comics. It was much too stereotypical for Gerard’s liking, but he wasn’t able to change it._

_“Hmm…I think I’ll just stay right here.” He hummed and picked up his knife from where he had sat it down on the mattress, moving to pin both of Gerard’s wrists down effectively with just one hand. It was almost pathetic how weak Gerard was compared to him, though, he knew that he was pretty strong anyways. You can’t be a serial killer and not be at least a little bit stronger than most people._

_Gerard eyed the knife, seething quietly as the pale moonlight glinted off of the silver blade. He was done. He knew that he couldn’t fight this man anymore. “Just fucking kill me already.” He spat out, glaring up at the man above him. He just couldn’t fucking take it anymore. “I don’t even want to be alive.”_

_The man raised his brows in surprise. That’s exactly what he had been planning to do, but now that he knew that that’s what Gerard_ wanted _, he felt like it would be worse for him to actually stay alive. He realized that it would torment him to know that he had survived while his little brother had gotten killed. “I don’t think I want to…”_

 _“What?!” Gerard questioned sharply. “Why!?” He wanted to die. He wanted to die, he wanted to die, he_ wanted to die!

_“Because,” He began as if it were the most simple thing in the world, giving Gerard a shrug. “It will be much more satisfying for me to know that you’re out there living your life all alone. That you have to live with the knowledge that you weren’t able to save your baby brother. That it’s all your fault he’s dead.” He hummed like it was the most pleasing thing he had thought of._

_Gerard began to feel tears welling up in his eyes as he was reminded of how his brother was dead. But it really_ was _his fault. He hadn’t thought quick enough and it ended up getting the only thing that mattered to him killed. “Fuck you.” He choked out and closed his eyes against the tears. “I’ll just fucking do it myself.”_

_“Ah-ah.” The man tutted and shook his head, teasingly dragging the knife over Gerard’s chest. “You can’t do that. Little Mikey down there wouldn’t want you to do that, would he? He seemed pretty adamant about you staying safe.” He chuckled darkly._

_“Don’t you_ dare _say his name!” Gerard yelled before growing silent. He knew that he was right. Mikey would never want him to hurt himself. He had always made sure that Gerard knew that._

_“You know I’m right, don’t you?” The man said as he gave a satisfied smile when Gerard continued to stay quiet. “You know…You’re actually quite pretty, Gerard .” He hummed, putting the knife down and moving to stroke almost lovingly over his soft jaw. Gerard immediately flinched, turning his head away and opening his eyes quickly. He eyed him warily, his breathing picking up as he clinched his jaw. God, please don’t let this man try anything. “Too bad you’re just a tad bit too young for me.” He frowned almost as if he was genuinely disappointed about that._

_Gerard breathed a small sigh of relief and swallowed thickly. He didn’t feel like talking anymore. “Maybe when you’re older, you can come find me.” He heard the man say. Oh, Gerard was going to find him, but it wasn’t going to be to hook up. He was going to get his fucking revenge on him. “I suppose that there is no reason for me to stay here any longer, is there?” He mused aloud. “How about I let you spend some time with your little brother? I’m sure you two can have loads of fun.” He teased before sliding his hands down to Gerard’s throat. He suddenly began to strangle him, not allowing any oxygen to be pulled into his lungs. He wasn’t going to kill him like that of course, he just wanted to make him on the verge of passing out so he wasn’t able to follow him._

_Gerard began to choke and gasp for air, his blunt nails digging into the rough skin of the man’s hands as he scrabbled desperately to get them off of him. Of course it was a fruitless attempt. He hadn’t just miraculously grown stronger by lying there, so the other man still had an advantage on him. Eventually Gerard’s thrashing began to slow as the edges of his vision began to blur. His limbs grew weak and fuzzy as his eyes fluttered closed. He didn’t really know what was happening. Was this man actually going to kill him? Was Gerard getting spared from living a terrible life? He was almost grateful for it, realizing that the pain of getting strangled was much better than having to live without his brother._

_Of course, Gerard wasn’t that lucky. He soon felt the man’s large hands leave his throat, and the weight of his body was no longer on top of him. He gasped in a breath, finally feeling his lungs inhale the much needed oxygen. He coughed and retched loudly as he turned to his side, curling up with the force of it as he dragged in each shuddering breath. Blood was rushing to his head again and to his limbs, allowing him to force himself to sit up and open his eyes. As he looked around, still struggling slightly to breath, he realized that the man was gone. He just left him like that to suffer. Then Gerard remembered that Mikey’s body was still slumped against the floor. He couldn’t leave him like that. “M-Mikey…” He croaked as he crawled off of the bed and into the floor. He dragged himself towards Mikey’s body. “Oh, G-God.” He choked out as he actually got a better look at him._

_He wasn’t able to stop the tears from spilling out of his eyes, his throat tightening as he tugged his corpse close to his chest. He cradled him in his lap, his arms wrapped securely around his body as he rocked back and forth. “I’m so sorry.” He sobbed and buried his face into Mikey’s soft hair. He noticed that it was still sticking up crazily, so he began to comb through it with his fingers, trying to get it to lay flat again. “I’m sorry I messed up. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.” He didn’t care that he was getting the boy’s blood all over him. It didn’t matter to him. He just needed to be close to him for a moment._

_He used to think that blood had some sort morbid beauty to it. The deep color was just always associated in his mind with the sensual drape of velvet curtains, or the swirling of red wine in a crystal glass. It had always been so pretty to Gerard. But it didn’t look pretty as it stained Mikey’s pale skin. No, it looked_ ugly _._

 _He couldn’t believe that his little brother was gone. The only thing that he had in this wretched life had been taken from him, and the man that had taken him had gotten away. “Mikey, please.” He begged suddenly, tightening his grasp on him. “Please don’t leave me alone. I-I can’t do this. I can’t go on with out you. You’re all I have.” He sobbed and began to cry more violently. Each sob wracked through his body harshly, and he felt so sick. His stomach was clinching and churning constantly, an odd pain beginning to swell up and consume him. He hated that Mikey didn’t respond. But he knew it wasn’t his fault. He was_ dead _after all._

_He was dead._

_Gerard continued to hold onto Mikey. He never wanted to let him go. Mikey was supposed to grow up. He was supposed to live a long and healthy life and do great things. Gerard was always supposed to be there doing anything he could to support his little brother and to cheer him on. But Gerard hadn’t been there when it had mattered the_ most _. Sure, he had been in the room with him, but he hadn’t kept him safe like he had vowed to do. God, Gerard just wanted to die. He wanted to take the place of his younger brother. If anyone should be dead it should be_ him. _Mikey was far too innocent, far too young. He had only been seven and a half years old! That was barely even any time to experience anything at all. It was just so incredibly upsetting._

_Gerard was completely alone now. He had no one. His parents were dead and now so was his anchor. What was he going to do? Where was he going to go? Gerard knew that he couldn’t just cradle Mikey’s lifeless body forever. He knew that eventually he was going to rot and decay and become something that no longer resembled his baby brother. That thought was enough to make Gerard break down into more sobs, his face burying itself into the crook of the smaller one’s neck. He had to go find help. He had to get out of there and run to find somewhere that actually had a phone so he could get the police. But he wasn’t just going to leave Mikey lying there on the floor. That wouldn’t be right._

_So Gerard forced himself up, gritting his teeth as he felt that strange pain again. He moved Mikey back to his bed and lied him down on the mattress, pulling the covers over his small frame. “Th-There we go, all better.” Gerard murmured shakily, trying to pretend for just a moment that everything was all okay. He tucked the edges of the blanket under his body. “Snug as a bug in a rug.” He whispered, patting over the boy’s head. That was what he always said when he tucked Mikey in. It always made him giggle and squirm around playfully. But he wasn’t giggling or squirming now. Instead he was just eerily still and silent. Gerard hated it._

_He frowned as more tears began to slide down his face, and he started pet the boy’s hair down. “Goodnight, little angel. I hope you’re getting good sleep and having lovely dreams. I can’t wait to hear about them when you wake up…” He choked out and leant down to press a tender kiss to Mikey’s temple. He tried to ignore how cold his skin felt against his lips._

_Gerard finally pulled away and forced himself to move in the direction of the door. Despite just how badly he wanted to curl up with Mikey and fall asleep, he knew that he couldn’t. He had to get help. He had to. Fuck, his life was turning into an absolutely horrific nightmare. He just wished that he could wake up from it already. As Gerard left Mikey’s room, he turned back just before clicking the door shut. “I love you, Mikes.” He murmured, but he knew that he wasn’t going to hear it back, so he just shut the door and began to rush out of the house._

_The pain was still there. It was still swirling in his intestines and clenching around his stomach. It just wouldn’t go away. It wouldn’t_ stop _. He didn’t know what was causing it, but hopefully it ended soon. Gerard tried his best to ignore it as he stumbled out of his front door, falling down onto the porch as he lost his balance before he managed to push himself up again. He huffed out a breath as he started to run down to the road. He could feel the wet grass sticking to his feet as he ran, and that’s when he realized that he forgot to put on shoes._

_When he eventually reached the sidewalk, he ran in the direction that would bring him to the closest neighborhood. His house was rather secluded from all of the other ones – surrounded by trees and situated on the top of a small hill, so he had a little bit of ways to run . He could feel the cold pavement scraping against the soles of his feet as he fought through the unfamiliar pain growing inside of him, trying to just focus on keeping moving. The orange streetlights were the only thing illuminating the streets other than the pale moon, casting everything in an eerie and almost unsettling light. It almost seemed as though it was a dream; the fog that swirled around in the air gave everything soft and faded edges, the world around him seeming indistinct as he ran._

_Soon, The sidewalk turned into a rather simple suburban neighborhood. Each house was nearly identical to the next, the only things that differentiated each one was the colors and how the gardens were arranged. But other than that, it was a stereotypical, cookie cutter neighborhood. Gerard sputtered slightly, grasping onto the light post at the corner of the street to hold himself up. God, what was happening to him? Why was he hurting so_ bad _? He grasped tightly at his stomach, willing it the pain to go away…but it just stayed._

_He huffed a breath, clinching his eyes closed as he gritted his teeth. He was so close. He just had to go a couple more yards and he would be able to get help. With that thought, Gerard fought through the sickening pain and staggered through the yard of the closest house. He stumbled up the little step that was right at the front door and abruptly began to bang on the door violently. “Help Me!” He screamed, the sound so loud, cutting through the near silent air of the night and shattering the calm atmosphere of the neighborhood. “Please! Help!” He cried out, his voice cracking with the force of it. If he had been paying attention, he would have seen multiple lights getting turned on in all the different houses, illuminating the grass and sidewalks._

_The people were getting awoken, startling awake in their beds and flying to reach for their light switches. They were all grabbing their curtains and blinds to pull them back to try to identify what was going on. Eventually the screams of help just turned into plain screeches, no words getting formed on the sounds. In the house that Gerard was currently at, a wife clutched at her husband as they hurried down the stairs, ushering her children to stay in their rooms in case something went wrong. The door flew open and Gerard collapsed at their feet, grasping desperately at the man’s pants. “H-Help me…” He begged, growing weaker._

_The wife screamed at the sight, the man only jumping back and gasping. They stared at Gerard, seemingly unable to really process the fact that there was a young man absolutely drenched in blood begging for help at their feet. After the reality of it set in, the wife ran to her phone, hurriedly dialing 9-1-1. The man dropped down and grabbed at Gerard, pulling him inside. “Son?_ Son _, are you okay?” He asked hurriedly as he sat down in the floor with him, resting his head in his lap._

_Gerard curled up as the pain became ruthless, almost as if a flame was licking at his guts as a knife was twisted inside of him. Now that he knew that he was safe and that he was getting help, Gerard just let himself curl up and dig at his stomach. The man quickly put a stop to that by tugging his hands away from himself.“M-Mikey’s…He’s…” Gerard whimpered as he was beginning to fade out of it. His body just couldn’t handle anything anymore. It was like he was shutting down. “H-He’s…”_

_The man furrowed his brow. “What? What is he?”He insisted in a quiet voice, trying his best to stay calm even though he was actually horrified. This kind of thing wasn’t supposed to happen. Random kids covered in blood didn’t just show up at your door screaming to be helped. At least, not in a place like this._

_“…Dead.”_

_The man stared wide eyed at Gerard, the boy now passed out in his lap. Dead? Did this boy kill someone? Who was Mikey? He had so many questions racing through his head, but soon his wife was crouching next to him, informing him that the police and an ambulance were on their way._

_Eventually they showed up, the paramedics taking Gerard’s limp body into the ambulance on a gurney while the police questioned the shaken wife and husband._

_________________________

 _The days and weeks that followed that life changing event were dreadful. Gerard was completely miserable. He ended up getting interrogated by the police when they thought that he could be a suspect, which had made him absolutely furious. How_ dare _these men think that he could_ ever _harm Mikey in_ any _sort of way. Mikey was his whole world. He was all that he fucking had. Luckily they ruled him out after intense questioning, and he was soon sent to stay at one of the local orphanages. God, Gerard didn’t even_ know _that there were any orphanages around there, but he eventually he became acquainted with nearly all of them. He kept getting moved around because no one wanted him. There were too many rumors surrounding him that he had killed his family, and no one wanted a killer as a son._

 _But Gerard_ wasn’t _a killer. He didn’t think he could ever bring himself to take another human life. Especially not one as important as Mikey’s. Sure, he knew that his parents were dead too, but he didn’t really care too much. They were never there for him. It was as if he had lost a distant relative instead of his mom and dad. But what made all of it even_ worse, _was that they never did find the man that killed Gerard’s family._

_Gerard was always quiet now, more so than he had been before everything happened. He didn’t like speaking. What was the point? Even if he tried, he stuttered too much and it was embarrassing. He had to go through therapy, but it didn’t do much for him like he had hoped. He was too broken to be fixed. The pain that had shown up that night was now the only familiar thing he had, but it was a constant reminder of everything, almost always bringing him back to seeing his brother’s corpse as he twinged in pain. It just never went away. Some nights it was worse than others, keeping him awake and shivering in his bunk as he rode it out. But some days he could handle it and actually get out of bed._

_He noticed that he developed a twitch as well. When he was around other people it was much worse. His fingers and limbs would sometimes move on their own accord, sometimes even his body convulsing a little as his head twitched. He felt like he wasn’t even a person anymore. He was just a shell of one that was inhabited by the distorted ghost of what he used to be._

_He had been in the system for about three years, making Gerard seventeen before someone actually adopted him. It was shocking to him when it happened. Normally people went for younger kids when they adopted. Or at least kids who weren’t rumored to have killed their entire family. He didn’t care though. He was going to be eighteen in about a year anyways, then he would go and find somewhere else for him to stay. Somewhere secluded and away from everyone._

_Eventually Gerard came to realize that his foster parents didn’t want him for_ him, _they wanted him for his inheritance. Sometimes having money was more of a curse than a blessing. The way he found out for certain that that’s all they wanted, was he was just standing in the kitchen one night, just grabbing a glass of water for himself to soothe his dry throat. He remembered seeing the reflection of someone coming up behind him in the window above the sink, and he swiftly turned to face them. Gerard couldn’t stand it when people snuck up on him. He absolutely_ hated _it._

 _The sight that greeted him was his foster father, absolutely_ wasted _. Gerard could smell the alcohol rolling off of his breath as it reached him, and he scrunched up his nose in disgust. “W-What do y-y-you want?” He tried to snap, but it wasn’t too menacing since his stutter tripped him up._

 _His ”father” just stared at him angrily. God, why was he even drunk? Maybe it was because he and his wife had been fighting earlier and he decided that instead of trying to_ resolve _it, he’d just drown his frustrations in alcohol. “Don’t speak to me like that.” He slurred. “You’ve always been an ungrateful little_ rat _. You know that?” He growled before taking a step closer to Gerard._

_Gerard’s eyes widened and he backed up against he counter. He was much more skittish than he used to be. Any time someone spoke to him in that low, angry tone of voice, he practically cowered. He hated that he was like that now.”I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean- I just- I’m s-sorry.” He whispered._

_“You know the only reason you’re here is so we can get that money you’re dead parents left you, right?” The man chuckled drunkenly, not really realizing that he had just told Gerard that._

_Gerard looked down at the floor and shrugged, biting his lip. It wasn’t like it was just some_ big _revelation or anything. It was obvious to him that his foster parents didn’t really care about him. “You’re just completely worthless to us, to_ everyone _. Just pointless.” Gerard heard the man hiss at him, but he kept his head down. He deserved this. “It’s your fault your parents are dead.” He grunted and burped drunkly before pounding on his chest a few times. “I heard you watched your little brother die.” He added after clearing his throat, almost sounding_ amused _._

_Gerard’s head snapped up at that, his stomach twisting in pain again at the mention of Mikey. “Stop.” He said firmly, locking eyes with the other man._

_“Does it bother you when I talk about him? What are you gonna do, hm?” He asked as he glanced down to Gerard’s twitching fingers that were curling into tight fists. Gerard was growing pissed now. His fear was twisting and transforming into anger as he listened to each word that slipped out of the man’s vile mouth. “If you ask me…I’m_ glad _he’s dead. If he wasn’t dead, then we wouldn’t have_ you _– well, your_ money. _” He mumbled,_ _not realizing just how badly he had messed up by saying that._

 _Gerard suddenly saw red, his mind clouding out and making him throw all of his fears and everything else that had defined him out the window. He grabbed the closest thing to him, which happened to be a large knife from the wooden block, and he lunged forwards. “Don’t you_ ever _fucking speak about him like that!” He screamed before embedding the large, silver blade into the center of the man’s chest. He hadn’t even thought about it when he had done it, but as soon as the man’s expression changed from the smug smirk to a shocked, openmouthed one, Gerard looked down and saw that his fingers were wrapped firmly around the handle of a knife that was sticking out of him. He let go of it as the man began to choke on his blood, letting him drop to the floor as he died._

 _He stumbled backwards, staring down at the dead man at his feet. He killed him. He_ killed _him. Gerard_ was _a murderer. Everyone had been_ right. _Gerard was backed up against the counter again, his breathing coming out it shallow pants as he shook his head back and forth. He hadn’t meant to do that. He hadn’t! He had just been…so_ mad. _No one was allowed to say those things about Mikey. As he looked down at his hands, Gerard noticed something. The pain wasn’t there. Well, it_ was, _but it was just so much more muted than it had been before. It was as if he had somehow transferred it to the other man by killing him. It gave him so much_ relief _. He felt like he could actually breath again now. Like his lungs were no longer constricted._

_Eventually, his foster mom came stumbling into the kitchen since she had heard Gerard shouting, and she gasped loudly at the sight. Her husband was lying there on the floor with a pool of blood seeping around him, and Gerard was just standing there staring at him. She began to scream, looking at Gerard with a terrified expression as she scrabbled to get out of there to call the police. But Gerard just continued to stare at the dead body, seemingly unable to tear his gaze away. He hated it so much, but he couldn’t deny that seeing him like that was oddly…satisfying._

_________________________

 _After that happened, he was detained and taken to the police station to be questioned for the second time in his life. The only difference this time was that Gerard was actually_ guilty _. He didn’t let anyone know that though. He went with the lie that it was self defense. “H-He w-was drunk and- and he j-just came after me telling m-me that he was going t-to kill me.” He had said, also adding the fact that they were after his inheritance. It helped when they ran a toxicology test and found out that the man actually was drunk. They also found out that the wife was hopped up on heroin at the time too, which helped destroy her credibility. Besides, Gerard seemed to be genuinely traumatized. He was shaking and crying and stuttering each time he spoke. But they didn’t know that he was pretty much always shaking and stuttering. They didn’t know that_ this _actually hadn’t felt that traumatizing to him. After watching his baby brother get killed, nothing else could really affect him like that anymore. In fact, he was really confused on how he felt about the situation. The more he thought about it, the more he felt like it had been a little enjoyable somehow. He didn’t know what it was, but he didn’t think that he_ wanted _to know._

_They ended up having to go to trial where they found him to be not guilty, and he wouldn’t have any consequences for what he had done. He was incredibly grateful for that, but he was beginning to feel like maybe that hadn’t been such a good verdict to go with._

_As soon as all of that settled down, Gerard turned eighteen and finally received his inheritance that his parents had left him, which was actually a lot_ more _than he thought it would be. He had no problems with that of course. He was glad that at least his parents had thought of him somehow. He took his money and found a large plot of land that was mostly covered in thick trees and was miles and miles away from anyone else, and he paid to have a house built buried deep within the woods. He loved it. He finally felt like he was safe from everyone and no longer had to keep looking over his shoulders._

 _But the pain came back. It came back even worse than it had before, and Gerard couldn’t stop himself from thinking back to how it had felt to kill that man. Eventually he began to obsess over it. It became nearly every waking thought he had, and sometimes it even appeared in his dreams. Gerard soon couldn’t handle it anymore. He wanted to feel it again. He wanted to be_ sure _that he actually liked it. He couldn’t live life not being sure. He needed to find out if he really was destined to be a_ killer _._

 _So that’s what he went out and did. He went in search of his first real victim and killed them. It had been messy and sloppy, but the details weren’t important then. All that mattered was that it set Gerard off on the path that lead him to become a serial killer with multiple victims buried on his property, and it had lead him to_ Frank _._

Gerard finally finished, his entire body shaking as he sobbed violently. Actually saying all of that out loud for the first time had been so difficult for him. He felt like he could just fucking _die._ Frank had just been watching Gerard with wide eyes while he told him everything. Hearing the way he spoke about Mikey absolutely shattered his heart. He had cared about him so much, and he had gotten him taken away from him, and in an absolutely _terrible_ way as well. It was no wonder Gerard was messed up. It was no wonder he spiraled and lost himself completely. Frank just genuinely couldn’t truly comprehend the level of agony that must torment Gerard on a daily basis with having to deal with that. It made him feel like he understood why Gerard killed people a little bit better. Of course, that wasn’t an excuse.

“H-H-He took my b-baby brother away!” Gerard suddenly shouted and ripped his hand out of Frank’s. He stood up from the couch and kicked his coffee table over. “He didn’t deserve that! He was only _seven_!” Frank cowered as Gerard began to just scream obscenities, looking on as the man was consumed by his rage. “He was the only fucking thing that _mattered_ to me! That motherfucker deserves to _rot_ in _hell_!” Gerard cried out as he grabbed the lamp and threw it across the room, causing it to shatter and fall to the floor in multiple shards. “It should have been _me_!” Gerard screamed before slamming his fist into the wall, his knuckles busting through the drywall and creating a large, fist sized hole in the surface. He collapsed after that, sliding down the wall and cradling his already swelling hand against his chest. He sobbed brokenly as he curled up into himself. “Mikey! _Mikey!_ ” He cried loudly. He was losing it. He was having a breakdown. Gerard began to tug at his hair harshly, managing to pull out some clumps as he just began to scream wordlessly.

Frank was just shocked. He had been so stunned by the way Gerard was acting that he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Gerard was going crazy and it was terrifying, but Frank knew that he needed to help. Even if he felt like it could be dangerous. He was going to try to speak to Gerard from the couch, but then Frank saw that he was starting to hurt himself. First it was with his hair, but then Gerard was beginning to dig his nails into his shoulders and scratch down his arms, tearing the skin open shallowly. Frank gasped and quickly shoved himself off of the couch to run to Gerard.

“Gerard!” Frank shouted so he could be heard over Gerard’s yells. “ _Gerard_!” He tried again more desperately as he risked grabbing his hands and yanking them away from himself. Gerard opened his eyes widely and stared at Frank as if he had been startled by him. Like he hadn’t just heard him screaming his name. As soon as Frank knew that he had Gerard’s attention, he clambered into the man’s lap. “You’re okay. It’s okay. I-I’m here.” He whispered frantically as he tugged Gerard’s face towards his chest to hold him tightly while he began to sob. “I-I know I’m not Mikey, but it’s _me_. It’s Frank. Frankie’s here for you, okay?” He babbled as he began to rock back and forth in an attempt to soothe Gerard.

Gerard pulled back from Frank and moved his hands up to cup Frank’s face. He could barely even focus on the boy through his tears, but he could see the familiar blurred shapes. “O-Oh, _Frankie_ …” He choked out as he leaned in to rest his forehead against the other’s. He closed his eyes and whimpered out a pathetic sound as he just tried to focus on Frank. “I know Mikey’s _gone_. B-But you’re right.” He breathed shakily as he attempted to steady himself. It was so fucking hard to do. He felt like he was spiraling out of control. “You’re here now. I have you.” Gerard stroked his thumbs over Frank’s cheeks as a way to just feel him and reassure himself that Frank was actually there, and Frank let him do it. “You’re _just_ as important as he is, Frank. You’re the only other person in the world that is as good as Mikey is – _was_.” He forced out as he slid his hands down to Frank’s waist. “I love you so fucking _much_.”

Frank swallowed thickly and move his own hands up to run through Gerard’s hair, finding the short strands to be rather soft beneath his fingertips. “I really care about you, Gerard. I really do.” He admitted in return. He couldn’t say that he loved Gerard just yet. He felt like that was much too intense of a thing to say and he didn’t want to say it unless he meant it all the way.

That was enough for Gerard though, because Frank had never told him that before. He had always just said ‘thank you’ instead whenever Gerard told him that he loved him. So to hear that Frank reciprocated some form of feelings towards him was just…so wonderful. “You mean everything to me.” Gerard murmured softly. He was finally beginning to calm down. He was no longer sobbing uncontrollably, but hot tears were still sliding down his face, and he was still shaking against Frank’s smaller frame.

Frank couldn’t stand to see Gerard upset. He had just done so much for him. He did everything he could to keep him safe. Sure, Gerard was actually a serial killer, but Frank wasn’t worried that he would ever turn on him and kill him. Gerard made it very clear that Frank meant the world to him. That he seemingly couldn’t live without him. “Gerard,” Frank whispered as he pulled back slightly. “Look at me.” He instructed in a gentle voice. As soon as the older man opened his eyes, Frank pushed himself forward and connected their mouths together.

Gerard whimpered and melted against him immediately, his hands sliding back up to grasp at Frank’s hair to pull him in closer. He opened his mouth, his eyes fluttering shut as he slid his tongue past Frank’s lips and licked inside of him. Frank exhaled heavily through his nose as he shifted to straddle Gerard’s lap so he could press their chests more firmly together. Gerard carefully removed one of his hands from Frank’s hair and teased his fingers under the hem of Frank’s shirt. He could feel his stomach hitch from the contact, but Frank wasn’t telling him to stop. He just deepened the kiss, breathing a needy sound into Gerard’s mouth as his cool hand slid over his lower stomach.

Gerard grunted quietly before carefully sliding his his hand upwards. He just really needed to be able to feel Frank right then. He was the only thing keeping him grounded to reality in that moment. He was the thing keeping his mind from slipping back to that terrible night all those years ago. Frank shivered at the feeling of Gerard’s rough fingertips dragging over the skin of his chest, a familiar warmth blooming in his lower abdomen as he began to kiss Gerard more fervently. “G-Gerard…” He panted into Gerard’s mouth, squeaking out a needy sound as the older man’s hand swiped over one of his nipples.

“Frankie.” Gerard moaned in return, before daringly canting his hips upwards against Frank’s, causing a small, broken whimper to get pulled from the boy.

“A-Ah, fuck.” Frank whispered and pulled back so he could dip his head down and press his face against Gerard’s throat in embarrassment for how he was reacting, but he still wasn’t trying to stop him. He couldn’t deny that it felt amazing.

Frank moaned quietly as he began to carefully shift his hips down against Gerard’s, furrowing his brow as it sent a spark of pleasure coursing through him. God, what was he doing? He remembered doing this once before with Gerard, but he somehow wasn’t as scared as he had been that time. Which was especially strange since he now knew that Gerard was a _serial killer_. And now, Frank wasn’t sure that he really wanted to stop it. He was admittedly enjoying the way that Gerard was beginning to roll his hips up consistently, and he was beginning to feel something…Fuck, Gerard was getting hard, and so was _he_.

Gerard’s breathing was coming out in breathy little moans. He slid his hand over to rest right over Frank’s heart and he could feel it beating wildly against his ribcage. He loved that feeling. It was a way for Gerard to know that Frank was _alive_. Gerard pushed at Frank’s chest and leaned back, making Frank whine a little. “I just want to see your face.” He explained, his eyes dark with lust as he dragged his heated gaze over the boy’s face. He just wanted to ravish him. He wanted to absolutely rip him apart just so he could put him back together again.

Gerard slid his hand down from Frank’s chest and rested it right over his crotch, giving him a firm squeeze through his jeans. Frank gasped and lurched forward. “Shit.” He panted as his hands twisted in the fabric of Gerard’s shirt.

Gerard bit down on his lip, his brows pulling together in pleasure at the sound. As he continued to palm at Frank’s length, he could feel it swelling beneath his fingertips, slowly beginning to strain against the front of his pants. God, Gerard couldn’t believe this. He couldn’t believe that he had _Frank Iero_ practically squirming in his lap as he touched him. Fuck, He wondered how far this was going to go. Was Frank willing to go all the way? Was Gerard finally going to get to be with Frank like that?

Gerard tilted his head to the side and pressed a kiss to the curve of Frank’s jaw before leaning in close. “Can I fuck you?” He asked hotly, licking the spot below Frank’s ear. “ _Please_.”

Frank huffed out a tiny sound as he shivered again. He could hear the absolute desperation in his voice, the sound of it causing his skin to prickle with pleasure. He could imagine how it would actually feel for Gerard to push into him, stretching him open and filling him. God, he hadn’t been fucked in so _long_. He nearly forgot what it truly felt like. But he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to go that far with Gerard just yet. “I’m n-not ready for that yet.” He whispered, moving his hands up to hide his face with embarrassment.

Gerard pulled back immediately despite how hard it was for him, and he tugged Frank’s hands away from his face. “Fuck, Frankie. It’s- It’s okay. Don’t feel bad.” He said earnestly. While he had _really_ wanted to be able to go further, he understood. He was disappointed of course, but he wasn’t going to let the boy know that. He didn’t want Frank to feel like he ever had to do anything with Gerard. “I promise.” He added before looking down at his hand on Frank’s crotch. “We can just keep doing this, or we can stop completely. I just want you happy, Frank.”

Frank really did feel bad, even though Gerard told him _not_ to. He couldn’t help it. He had gotten Gerard all worked up and excited, but he knew that Gerard really meant it when he said that he didn’t have to do anything. He was extremely grateful that he seemed to care so much about his comfort. He knew a lot of guys that hadn’t really cared about that before.

Frank bit down on his lip, staring down at their laps. He could see that Gerard was remarkably hard. A large bulge was pressing against the front of his grey sweatpants. He sighed. Frank felt like Gerard deserved to get relief. He deserved someone’s touch that wasn’t his own. He wondered how long it had been for Gerard. Frank’s gaze flickered back up to meet Gerard’s, and he slid his hand down to rest over the man’s crotch just as Gerard had done to him. “I can blow you...if you want.” He whispered.

Gerard made an embarrassing squeak when Frank’s hand moved to rest his hand over his crotch, his hips twitching up slightly. “Fuck.” He rasped as he just stared at Frank. Was he serious? Did Gerard hear that right? “What did you say? Did you say that you can— that you can _blow_ me?” He asked incredulously. His stomach was fluttering so much that he was almost certain that he would puke butterflies at any moment.

Frank slowly began to rub his hand in small circles. The movement was almost unpracticed and tentative, but it still managed to cause Gerard’s hips to jerk and his breathing to hitch loudly. Frank’s tongue darted out to wet his lips subconsciously, his eyes dark with lust as he watched the way Gerard was reacting to how he was touching him. Fuck, Gerard was so much more responsive than anyone else he had been with. He loved it, and while he had never thought about blowing Gerard before, he just felt like he needed to. Maybe it was because of the way they had been rutting against each other like animals that had fogged up his brain and made it hard for him to think properly through the haze of his arousal.

“Yeah.” Frank finally answered. “Yeah…I’ll blow you.”

Gerard’s lower lip caught between his teeth, his face heating up with a slight blush as the blood rushed to his cheeks. He couldn’t believe that this was happening and that it wasn’t just some vivid hallucination he was experiencing. “Shit, okay.” He panted, nodding fervently as he looked at Frank. “Yeah, l-let’s move to the couch though, yeah?” He mumbled as he helped Frank get out of his lap. The floor wasn’t exactly the most comfortable place to get a blowjob at.

Frank grunted softly as he began to stand up with Gerard. The older man’s hands were grasping at his sides as he walked behind him. It was as if he were afraid to let go of Frank like he would disappear in a cloud of smoke if he did. When they reached the couch, Gerard had been in such a hurry that it caused them to fumble slightly. Frank ended up falling back against the length of the couch, and in an attempt to catch himself, he had grabbed at Gerard which only caused him to fall down on top of him as they both exclaimed in surprise.

Gerard braced himself over Frank, his hands making indents in the cushion on either side of his head. Frank looked up to Gerard, his legs falling open instinctively as Gerard slotted between them while his hands flew up to grab at his shoulders. They stayed like that for a moment. The silence stretched on between them as they stared at each other with wide eyes and parted lips. Both of them dragging shallow breaths into their lungs.

Gerard couldn’t help but think about how much he liked seeing Frank like that. He enjoyed seeing him laid out beneath him with his legs spread. He looked so beautiful. He looked like an angel. His hair was splayed out around him, his lips wet and cheeks flushed. Gerard couldn’t help but want _more_ than a blowjob, but he was going to take whatever he could get. He wasn’t going to ask for more than what was offered because he was afraid that it might cause Frank to just change his mind. “Sorry…” Gerard finally muttered, though it didn’t really sound like he meant it.

“It’s okay.” Frank whispered as he move his hands down to slide over Gerard’s solid chest. The blood was rushing through his ears loudly. He almost felt dizzy from how turned on he was. Gerard was looking at him like he was _starving_ for him. It made Frank feel so vulnerable and small, but he liked it. He liked that Gerard wanted him so obviously. “Gerard.” He whimpered as he rolled his hips up, Gerard’s eyes rolling back in his head as it caused their crotches to rub together.

Gerard looked back down to Frank with his eyes half lidded and lip caught between his teeth. “Yeah?” He murmured in return.

“C-Can I…u-um, are you going to let me…?” The younger man stammered nervously. His eyes flickered down to Gerard’s lower half and he nodded towards it in a way to sort of finish his inquisition.

Gerard looked down between them curiously before he understood what Frank was talking about. “ _Oh_.” He said as he looked back up to Frank’s face. “Yeah, yes. You can— Yeah…” He stammered out oh so eloquently as he pulled himself away from Frank and sat back against the couch.

“O-Okay.” He murmured when Gerard was out of the way. Frank slid down onto the floor to get on his knees and shuffled to place himself between Gerard’s legs, his hands resting on the man’s thighs as he positioned himself. Gerard slid forward on the cushion so Frank didn’t have to lean forward as much, and he began to card his fingers through the boy’s hair.

Frank felt extremely nervous as he looped his fingers around the waistband of Gerard’s sweatpants, but not too much to where he didn’t want to do it. Because he _did_ want to do this. He wanted to be the one to make Gerard feel good for once. He definitely deserved it after what he had went through, and since Frank had sort of been the one to make him relive it, he felt sort of like he owed him. Frank glanced up to Gerard when he felt the older man card his fingers through his hair, tucking the curl of his fringe behind his ear. “Are you sure?” Gerard ask again, obviously worried that Frank might not really want this.

Frank nodded. “Yeah, I’m Sure.” He confirmed before finally beginning to tug Gerard’s pants down his thighs. Gerard lifted his hips up off the couch to help Frank remove them, and Frank finally got a look at him. Fuck. He was a lot…bigger than he had expected him to be. His cock was straining up against his stomach, the tip of it all pink and swollen as it leaked a little bit. Frank’s mouth practically watered at the sight. Why had he waited so long before doing this? God, Gerard was _gorgeous_. He couldn’t stop just staring at it when he heard Gerard huff out a needy breath.

“Frankie.” Gerard whimpered, looking down at himself. Frank wasn’t doing anything, and it was beginning to make him feel a little anxious and self-conscious. He began to take matters into his own hands when he couldn’t take it anymore. He wrapped his fingers around himself and began to pump his length a few times. That’s when Frank finally snapped out of it.

“Shit, s-sorry.” Frank stammered before tugging Gerard’s hand off of himself and replacing it with his own, which caused the older man to gasp out softly. “You’re just…well…you’re just so _big_.” He chuckled to hide how fucking embarrassed he was by saying that. He felt like he sounded like a prepubescent child.

Gerard furrowed his brow. “Is that bad?” He asked quietly, not knowing what Frank’s preference was when it came to size.

Frank shook his head and gave Gerard a couple of experimental strokes, biting down on his lip when Gerard immediately gasped and tossed his head back in pleasure. “No, no it’s not. Not at all.” Frank answered, his eyes watching the curve of the older man’s throat as he swallowed thickly. “It’s a uh, it’s a good thing.” He added. He felt just a tad bit intimidated now, but there was a hint of excitement vibrating through him. He finally pushed through all of his worries, and began to lean forward

Gerard felt relieved by Frank’s answer. He was about to say something else, but the words got lost somewhere inside of him when Frank suddenly sank down and took him into his mouth. “O-oh fuck, _Frankie_.” He moaned, looking down at Frank with his pupils blown wide. He had to use all of his strength to keep his hips from bucking up into the wet heat of Frank’s mouth. Fuck, Frank barely even started and it was already _much_ better than he had ever imagined. He really couldn’t believe that this was really happening. 

Frank just moaned around Gerard, fluttering his eyes closed and taking more of Gerard into his mouth. He used his fingers to stroke over the part that wasn’t inside of his mouth yet, and he could feel the man’s thighs actually _shaking_. “You look so p-pretty. So so _gorgeous_. _Fuck_.” Gerard babbled as he dug his nails into the couch, unable to keep himself quiet as Frank slowly began to bob his head up and down. Frank was thoroughly enjoying the way that Gerard just kept making noises.

It felt as if Gerard’s body was getting dipped into a pool of static. There was pleasure stimulating each and every nerve, his blood fizzing with ecstasy as it rushed through his veins and palpitating heart. He tossed his head back against the couch and screwed his eyes shut as a loud and shaky moan tore out of his throat. Frank’s mouth just felt so good. It felt so much better than his own hand. He had received some blowjobs before in his life, but they had never felt so _incredible_. No one could ever make him feel as good as Frank did. Gerard slid his hand down to cup the side of the younger man’s face and gazed down at him with a mixture of affection and pure arousal. His eyes slid down to watch the way Frank’s lips stretched around the girth of his erection. He looked so fucking beautiful like that.

When Frank looked back up at Gerard, his eyes were glazed over. He looked like his mind was fading out and getting clouded with lust and desire. Frank hummed lowly in his throat as he sank down even further, trying to get all of Gerard into his mouth which was proving to be just a little difficult. Fuck, Frank forgot how much he _enjoyed_ doing this. Sucking cock had always been a favorite of his. He loved the taste of the mixture of sweat and precum. He loved the heavy drag of the shaft along his tongue.  He loved the way that it made the other person feel. Fuck, and Gerard was certainly loving this.

Frank flicked his tongue over Gerard’s slit and swirled it around the tip as he pulled back slightly. Gerard bit down on his lip and pulled his brows together as another deep groan resonated from his chest. His hips twitched up into Frank’s mouth when he sank back down again, forcing his entire length down his throat. Frank gagged at the sudden intrusion, tears pricking at his eyes and spilling down his cheeks, but he managed to relax around it after a moment and steady his breathing. Gerard whimpered at the sound of Frank gagging and tried to keep himself still again. “Sh-Shit, sorry.” He rasped apologetically.

Frank slid his hand up to lace his fingers with Gerard’s and gave him a small squeeze to let him know that it was okay. He kept his pace slow as he slid his lips up and down around Gerard’s cock, trying to adjust his throat muscles to stay relaxed as he sank all the way down again. His nose was pressed up against the base of his length, the coarse dark hairs almost tickling his face pleasantly as he nuzzled against them. Seeing the color of it reminded him briefly that Gerard’s hair wasn’t naturally a ghostly white. Frank exhaled through his nose softly and pulled back again to lick up the length of his shaft. He could still feel Gerard struggling to keep his hips still. So he pulled off and licked his lips.

“W-What is it?” Gerard asked breathlessly, looking down at Frank with a curious gaze. Had he done something wrong?

Frank wiped his chin off with the back of his hand and shook his head. “Nothing, I was just…” Frank cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck nervously. “ I-I was just thinking that I could uh- I could let you fuck m-my mouth…” He offered as he looked up at Gerard with big eyes. “I mean…I can tell that you want to. You keep trying to push your hips up.” Frank explained.

Gerard’s face heated up slightly and he licked his lips. “I can’t help it.” He defended himself slightly before sliding his hand to card through Frank’s hair. “Y-Your mouth just feels so _good_.” Gerard murmured, his voice thick with arousal. He then thought about Frank’s offer, his gut twisting in pleasure as he nodded. “But I really w-would like that. I promise to be careful.”

Frank could tell that Gerard meant that by the sincerity in his voice. “I trust you.” He whispered. And Frank suddenly realized that he _did_ trust him. Gerard was the only person that was real with him. He showed himself to Frank completely and always demonstrated to him him that he had no ulterior motives when he was kind to him.

Gerard felt his heart swell at Frank’s admission. Did Frank really mean that? Did he really _trust_ him? An affectionate smile spread across Gerard’s face as he looked down at the boy. “I’m glad to hear that, Frankie…” Gerard murmured before shifting his hips. He was starting to grow a little desperate since he wasn’t getting any sort of stimulation anymore.

The younger of the two made a small noise in the back of his throat when he remembered why he was kneeling between Gerard’s legs, and he gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry.” He exhaled, his hot breath ghosting over Gerard’s cock which in turn made the older man shiver. Gerard just grunted in return and Frank moved forward, using his hands to rest on the man’s upper thighs so he could steady himself.

Gerard tangled his fingers in the hair at the back of Frank’s head, making sure that he had a firm grasp on him. “A-Are you ready.” He panted shakily as he looked down over Frank’s face, inspecting his expression for any sign of discomfort.

Frank tried to nod, a moan getting entangled with the small hiss of pain as it just caused his hair to get pulled. “Yeah, go ahead.” He murmured, his voice sounding thick and wrecked which was incredibly arousing to Gerard. He wanted to hear him like that all the time.

“Okay, baby.” He whispered before pushing his erection up into Frank’s open and willing mouth. He grunted out softly as he tried to stay slow. Just barely moving his hips as he thrusted them carefully. Fuck, it felt so good. He could feel pleasure erupting inside of him, sparking every single nerve alight with a sensation he had never experienced before. At least, never to that degree. “Fuck, just look at you.” He moaned, and Frank realized that Gerard was a rather vocal person when he was getting pleasured, but he actually liked it. It assured him that he was doing good. Besides, Gerard sounded so _good_ like that. “You’re lips look so pretty stretched around me like that.” He cooed.

Frank opened his eyes and looked up to Gerard through his lashes, flicking his tongue over the slit each time Gerard pulled out. He loved that Gerard reacted so visibly to that. God, as Frank looked up at the older man, he was surprised that he didn’t take on the career of a model or something like that. Frank couldn’t believe that it had taken him so long to really noticed just how damn _attractive_ Gerard was.

Gerard tipped his head back as he kept rolling his hips up. He could feel Frank’s drool dribbling down his length and down to his balls, making him spread his legs apart further. He could feel the familiar sensation of his stomach tightening, his limbs beginning to feel fuzzy and head fading out slightly. He was just overwhelmed with pure bliss. “Mnh- _fuck_.” He panted up to the ceiling when he felt Frank try to swallow around him.

Frank closed his eyes softly and pulled his brows together as he did his best to pleasure Gerard. He tried to keep his lips sealed tightly around him, attempting to make sure that his gag reflex stayed relaxed as the man’s cock slid down into his throat. He just let his mouth get used however Gerard wanted to. Which luckily wasn’t too roughly. Sure, Frank would be able to handle it if Gerard decided to speed up, but he liked the slow pace. He liked that Gerard was obviously taking Frank’s comfort into consideration. Sometimes Frank actually liked to be played with a little roughly, but this wasn’t one of those times. He felt like he needed to work up to that with Gerard.

“Shit.” Gerard panted quietly as he kept pushing himself into Frank’s mouth. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around how fucking _amazing_ it felt. It was as if Frank’s mouth had been made for this. “A-Ah, Oh god, Frankie. Frankie you feel so good.” He babbled mindlessly as he tightened his grip in Frank’s hair a little more, causing the boy to moan around him. Gerard was practically trembling as the noise sent vibrations running through him. The pleasure in his gut was curling tighter and tighter, a pleasant heat swelling up inside of him. He was close. Fuck, he would almost be embarrassed by how quickly he was brought to the edge if he wasn’t too dizzy with arousal to care.

“Fuck, I-I’m so close, baby.” Gerard warned as his thrust slowly grew more erratic. Frank just closed his eyes and sucked more firmly instead of trying to pull off. He wanted to taste it. He wanted to taste _Gerard_.

“Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, _Frankie._ ” Gerard babbled as he felt a steady pressure build up inside of his lower stomach. He whimpered as he thrust upwards one more time before crying out as his hips stuttered and he spilled his release deep inside of Frank’s throat. _“_ A-ah, _Fuck_!”

Frank swallowed as much of the thick and sticky liquid as he was able to, but some of it managed to dribble out and slide down his chin. He looked so _obscene._ His cheeks were tinged pink and covered in a sheen of sweat and a few tears. His lips were swollen slightly and slicked with spit and cum. When he looked up at Gerard his eyes were half lidded, his pupils blown wide, and Gerard felt his heart flutter slightly. The younger pulled off with a soft noise and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand; looking up at Gerard and watching the way his chest was heaving up and down in heavy breaths. He began to tuck Gerard back into his pants with a small smile, feeling extremely pleased with himself that he had been able to make the other man feel that good. He climbed back up onto the couch, situating himself upon Gerard’s lap and kissing him deeply.

Gerard kissed back fervently and licked his way into Frank’s mouth. He moaned softly when he realized that he could actually taste himself on Frank’s tongue. God, he was just completely awestruck. He felt like he was just on a completely other plane of existence. Gerard almost couldn’t believe that Frank had actually done that. He was nearly convinced that this was all some sort of hallucination and he imagined the whole thing, but then Frank was sucking on his tongue obscenely and there was no way that Gerard’s mind could make up something that felt so good.

Frank was just losing himself in the kiss. Just allowing for it to happen. He couldn’t really remember the last person that kissed him like Gerard did. He just poured so much of himself into it. It always felt so desperate and just filled with unfiltered affection. It was how Frank had always wanted to be kissed.

Eventually both of them found that the need for oxygen to be more pressing that the need to kiss, so they pulled apart with their lips making a soft noise. Gerard glanced down at Frank and tipped his head to the side. He was breathing heavily in an attempt to catch his breath. “Fuck…” He panted simply. He was at a complete loss for words. That had just been so… _mind-blowing_. Gerard flicked his gaze down to their laps biting down on his lower lip as he noticed how hard Frank still was. He couldn’t allow for Frank to not get some relief as well. “Baby, are you sure you don’t want me to help you?” He murmured as he slid his hands up and down the boy’s thighs.

Frank’s breathing hitched slightly, spreading his legs slightly as he man’s cool hands slid over his legs. He bit down on his lip, thinking it over for a moment. He didn’t think he was ready for anyone else to touch him. While he had been happy to help Gerard, he didn’t really feel like he should get any help with getting himself off. “I-I’m okay…” He whispered as he looked away before an idea struck him. “But…” He added even quieter.

Gerard raised an eyebrow hopefully and slid his hand’s up to rest on Frank’s hips. “ _But…_?” He echoed, wondering what Frank had in mind.

“Maybe…you could… _watch_ me?” Frank breathed with nervous, wide eyes. He couldn’t believe that he had just offered that, but he was just too turned on to think properly and he didn’t want to just go jerk off alone. Besides, he could tell that Gerard was totally into in by the way his grip tightened on him and his breathing hitched. “I could touch myself under my pants”

Gerard flicked his tongue out over his lower lip and dropped his gaze down to Frank’s crotch again. “Really?” He asked breathlessly, his pulse racing a little at the thought of getting to see Frank like that.

Frank exhaled shakily. He was a little nervous but also a little _excited_. “Yeah.” He answered as he shifted his hips a few times before slipping his hand down into his pants. Gerard kept his gaze locked onto the movement, his stomach fluttering in anticipation. A tiny gasp was sucked into Gerard’s lungs as he watched

Frank tossed his head back in pleasure and bit down on his lip as he gave himself a gentle squeeze, closing his eyes so he would be able to distract himself from the knowledge that Gerard’s eyes were currently glued to him. It was a little nerve wracking to know that the other man was watching him so intently – his movements a little shaky and nervous – but It was also…a little _exciting_. He breathed a small moan, cracking his eyes open and looking down at Gerard. His breathing hitched when he saw the way that the older man was looking at him. His eyes were so dark and hungry, looking almost _feral_. It caused a whimper to spill out of him, and his strokes became a little faster.

Gerard slid his hand over Frank’s inner thigh, humming as he watched Frank’s legs spread open from the touch. He stroked over him there through his pants, watching his hand move quickly beneath the fabric. “So pretty…” He whispered as he shifted his fingers to rest over his crotch, and his gut sparking in pleasure as he felt the way Frank was stroking himself through the layers of clothing.

Frank whimpered and looked up at Gerard with a look of pure desperation. It felt so good to finally touch himself. It was always so hard for him to go long periods of time without any sort of physical stimulation. His body just wasn’t used to going from jerking off nearly every night to maybe once every five years. Well, he knew that that was an exaggeration, but that’s how it felt. He could feel Gerard’s fingers resting over his own, and part of him was tempted to just screw it and let the man touch him already. Though, he wasn’t ready. He just wasn’t ready and he didn’t know when he would be. He knew that Gerard was desperate for it though.

“Mmph.” Frank nearly whined. “Gerard.” His voice sounded so small and needy when he whispered the man’s name.

Gerard moaned in return and shoved his face forwards to begin biting down on Frank’s throat, sucking on his skin and kissing over him. “Fuck, you look so good.” He panted and began to slip his hands up under the hem of his shirt. “Just pleasuring yourself all for me, Baby. Giving me a nice little show…” Gerard purred as he slid his hands up and pinched one of Frank’s nipples between his fingers, smirking as it caused the boy to cry out in pleasure. “You’re all mine, Frankie. _Mine._ ” He growled possessively in his ear before biting down right below it and kissing over the reddening skin.

Frank just moaned quietly and shuddered, his strokes on himself faltering slightly. The way Gerard was speaking to him was just so overwhelming. It made him feel like the other man really _did_ own him. Like he was completely under Gerard’s control. “Mnh- _Gerard_.” He panted, tossing his head back to give Gerard more skin to work with.

Gerard hummed deep in his chest and licked up the slope of Frank’s throat. “That’s right, Baby. Say my name.” He commanded. “Tell me who you belong to. _Tell me_.” He snarled as he dipped his head down to bite at the boy’s collarbone.

“ _Ah_ , fuck.” Frank hissed sharply before using the hand that wasn’t currently stroking over himself to grasp desperately at Gerard’s shoulder. “You, Gerard. _You._ ” He rasped as he began to grow closer to the edge. He could feel a pressure building up steadily. He dropped his head back down and buried it into the side of Gerard’s neck, panting heavily against the skin. “I-I belong to you…” He whimpered.

Gerard gave a pleased noise and slid his hands down to grasp at the boy’s hips, digging his nails into the soft flesh. “Mmm, that’s right, baby.” He cooed as he moved his hands even lower to rub up and down Frank’s inner thighs. He absolutely loved that he could feel the way that they were quivering beneath his touch. “Don’t you ever forget that, _understand_?”

Frank nodded and nestled his face even deeper into the crook of Gerard’s neck. “Yes, Sir.” He murmured as he whined out needy little noises. They just sounded so pretty to Gerard.

“Good boy.” Gerard commended. He felt Frank moan softly at that, and a smirk began to tug at Gerard’s lips. “You like that?” He hummed as he moved to cup his hand over Frank’s though his pants again. “You like it when I call you a good boy?” Gerard heard Frank whimper, feeling his strokes on himself falter as he nodded. It appeared that Frank wasn’t really capable of speaking right then, but Gerard didn’t mind. “Mmm, Fuck, Frankie…I love seeing you like this. You just look so fucking _perfect_.” Gerard dipped his head down and  began to kiss right below Frank’s ear, earning a small moan from the boy in return. “Please let me help you.” He panted hotly. “Please, Baby, _fuck_.”

Frank whined and shifted his hips back and forth. He didn’t know what he should do. He was just so _nervous_. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so anxious. It was as if this was his first time fooling around with anyone. But Gerard sounded so _hot_. That was the only way to really describe him in that moment. He just seemed so dominant and just so arousing. Frank never knew that he would ever describe Gerard as those things. Hell, he never thought that he would ever be _jerking off_ in the other man’s _lap_ , yet there he was.

He huffed out a quiet noise, pulling back to look at Gerard with his eyes half lidded. “Mnh- I don’t- I don’t know…” He whispered shakily, his face tinted pink as he looked away in slight embarrassment.

Gerard moved one of his hands up to cup Frank’s face, stroking his thumb over his lower lip slowly. He tipped his head back slightly to look down at Frank with a heated gaze. “Come on, Frankie,” He rasped desperately. “All I want is to make you feel good, baby. Let me help you.” He whispered before leaning forward to press a slow and sensual kiss to his lips. He move his hand back down to cup over his crotch again, smirking into the kiss as he felt Frank squirm slightly. “If it would make it easier for you,  I can promise to stay over your clothes.” He offered

Frank’s strokes on himself slowed to where he was just barely flicking his wrist at all. He bit down on his lip, darting his gaze back to meet Gerard’s anxiously. He pulled his hand out of his pants slowly, his chest heaving with each shaky breath he inhaled. Frank decided that he could let Gerard do that. He knew that it would feel much better than him just touching himself. Besides, it seemed that Gerard really did just want to make him feel good. He seemed to be pretty adamant about that. “O-Okay…you can do it, but stay over my clothes.” He added as he glanced down at their laps.

Gerard felt absolutely ecstatic, a smile immediately splitting over his face. “Fuck, thank you so much.” He whispered before beginning to slide his hand over Frank’s crotch, rubbing him firmly though his pants. Frank huffed out a heated breath, tossing his head back and moaning shakily as he bucked his hips up into the touch. It really did feel so much better than jerking off.

“ _Fuck_.” Frank gasped as he rolled his hips up into the firm pressure of Gerard’s hand, his brows tugging together in pleasure as he looked down at the older man.

“Yeah?” Gerard hummed, adding more pressure before giving his length a squeeze through his pants, smirking as it caused him to cry out and writhe. “It feels good when I touch you, doesn’t it?” He purred. “Tell me.”

“Y-Yeah- shit, _yes._ ” Frank forced out, leaning back and bracing himself on his arms so he had better leverage to push  his hips up. “F-Feels so good, Sir.” He said, his face flushing slightly as he turned his face away. Luckily Gerard seemed to like being called that, as he groaned quietly in return.

“Mmm, that’s all I wanted to hear, Baby.” Gerard hummed before suddenly looping his fingers around the waistband of Frank’s pants and tugging them down.

“H-Hey, wait!” Frank squeaked, before Gerard shushed him.

“Don’t worry, Darling.” Gerard murmured sweetly. “I’ll keep your boxers on.” He promised as he eventually managed to get the sweatpants down the boy’s thighs. “Your pants were just too thick for you to really _feel_ anything.”

Frank visibly relaxed before he jolted forwards and grasped onto Gerard’s shirt tightly. “O-Oh G-God.” He gasped out when Gerard suddenly pressed against his sensitive length through the thin material of his boxers

“Mmh, does that feel better, baby?” Gerard whispered, pulling his lower lip between his teeth as he trailed his eyes over Frank’s body. He just felt so incredibly lucky to be there. He was still unable to believe that he was doing this. He had been wanting to be able to pleasure Frank for what felt like forever. He just hoped that he was doing a good job for the boy. Which it appeared that he was doing quite well.

“A-Ah, y-yeah. F-Feels s-so much better.” Frank whimpered as he twitched his hips up into the contact of Gerard’s large hand. He whimpered quietly and brought one of his hands up to chew on his fingers to help stifle anymore embarrassing noises from coming out of him.

Gerard didn’t approve of this though. He _wanted_ to hear the sounds that Frank made. He was _obsessed_ with them. It assured him that he was doing a good job of pleasuring him. He reached up with the hand that wasn’t currently stroking Frank through his underwear and he tugged his wrist down. “Let me hear you.” He instructed simply, his gaze filled with hunger as his eyes dropped down to the boy’s lips.

Almost immediately, another high pitched moan escaped Frank’s throat and his face heated up in a slight blush. He was always a little noisy in bed, but he did his best to keep quiet for the most part. Though Gerard seemed to enjoy his noises, so that made him feel just a little bit better about how he didn’t seem to shut up. Pleasure was bursting through his veins like static, his skin prickling all over as a steady pressure began to swell in his gut. He was getting close. Fuck, he was seriously about to cum in his pants right in front of, not _only_ his kidnapper, but also a _serial_ _killer_. He never thought that he would ever be in this situation. At least, not _willingly._ He used to think that if he ever found out that someone was a murderer, that he would have the common sense to get the hell away from them and call the cops. But Gerard was just…this situation was different. He wasn’t just _some_ murderer. He was actually someone that cared about him and loved him. That made it okay…right? Frank knew that it really didn’t, but he wasn’t going to think about that at the moment.

“O-Ohh, Gerard.” Frank panted as he nearly began to squirm, his hips wriggling back and forth as he looked up to Gerard with a look of pure desperation. “I think I’m— Fuck, I-I’m getting close.” He whimpered. His hands slid up from the front of Gerard’s shirt and grasped at the short white strands of the older man’s hair. He was so desperately trying to hold on. He felt like he was about to absolutely explode.

The dull pain of his hair getting tugged caused Gerard to hiss a pleasured noise as he looked down at Frank. He licked his lips absentmindedly. “Yeah?” He rasped heatedly as he began to add more pressure to Frank’s crotch. “Come on, Frankie… Show me just how good I make you feel. Let me see you lose yourself.” He coerced as he struggled to keep himself from reaching past the waistband to actually get some sort of skin on skin contact with Frank. He wanted to actually feel his cock. He wanted to touch it properly. He also wanted to see it. He was so desperate for that. He nearly _could_ see just the tip of it because of the way the boy’s precum had soaked the fabric and made it more translucent, making the cloth stick flush against the skin. Gerard was incredibly grateful for that, because from what he could see, it looked quite pretty.

Frank was beginning to properly squirm in Gerard’s lap, his hips writhing as he tried to buck them up into Gerard’s touches. “Mph.” Frank whined as he spread his legs a little bit more, which was hard to do since he had already spread them pretty wide to be able to straddle Gerard. His face was flushed pink, his skin shining with a sheen of sweat as he panted in the anticipation of his orgasm. There were tears beginning to prick at the corners of his eyes as the pleasure became overwhelming. “F-Fuck.” Frank stammered out as he pushed his face forward to press against Gerard’s neck.

Gerard tipped his head back as he felt Frank begin to mouth hotly at his neck, his spit smearing over his skin. He was loving this. He didn’t think he had ever experienced so much pleasure all at once, not even when he was killing. He could only imagine how euphoric it would be to actually fuck him. He wondered how staggering the pleasure would be as he buried his cock deep inside of Frank’s tight warmth. His own length twitched at the thought, and he shifted his hips a little. “Let me see you.” He said breathlessly, his voice sounding wrecked as he yanked Frank by his hair to pull him off of his neck.

Frank squeaked out an embarrassing noise as he felt his hair getting tugged, pleasure mingling with the dull pain that throbbed at the base of his skull. “P-Please…” He whined quietly before looking at Gerard. The pure lust and animalistic desire that was carried in the Man’s steady gaze caused his gut to stir as he was brought teetering on the brink of completion.

“Please, _what_?” Gerard purred as he watched Frank come undone beneath his touch.

“Please, S-Sir.” Frank corrected himself as a tight heat began to swell inside of him quickly, his mouth dropping open as he began to drool slightly. “J-Just a little- ah- a little bit more.”

Gerard smirked and squeezed Frank’s erection again, using his thumb to rub over the tip in firm little circles before he began to stroke it up and down through his boxers. “Fuck. Please, baby. Just cum for me.” Gerard panted as he dragged his eyes over Frank’s face, keeping his gaze trained on each little twitch of pleasure his expression made. “Be a good boy and do it. Let me see it.”

Frank was a mewling mess by now. A plethora of high pitched and breathy moans kept spilling out of him before the noises got caught in his throat and he suddenly gasped loudly. “ _A-Ah_!” He cried out as he finally spilled over the edge and jerked his hips forward. His thick release pumped out of him and flooded his boxers, leaving his crotch a sticky mess. He continued to roll his hips up as he rode it out, his toes curling as his eyes rolled back his his head and his mouth dropped open again.

Gerard watched with complete awe as Frank was consumed by his orgasm. His heart was hammering in his chest wildly as he took in each little twitch and movement that the boy made. He couldn’t believe that he was watching this. There was no way that this was actually happening. He looked so _beautiful_. This was Frank at his most raw and basic human form. Gerard wasn’t able to keep his own little moans from spilling from him. It would be impossible for _anyone_ to stop themselves from moaning if they got to see the way Frank was just writhing with pleasure. “God, look at you…” Gerard whispered as Frank began to come down. “So beautiful. So gorgeous. Such an ethereal angel.” He cooed as Frank’s hips twitched and he suddenly slumped against Gerard’s chest.

Frank’s mind felt like it was just a blur. He was so hazy and faded from the pleasure that had just overwhelmed his system. Fuck, he couldn’t believe that he had just done that. He had really let Gerard touch him like that. The strangest part of it, though, was that it hadn’t felt _wrong_ like he had thought it would. He had really enjoyed it, if you were judging by the way his boxers were now basically filled with cum. He shifted his hips, a small whine getting pulled from him as he felt Gerard beginning to push him back. He fluttered his eyes open tiredly, feeling rather worn out now. “What…?” He asked when he saw the way Gerard was looking at him.

Gerard smiled lovingly at Frank, pure love and affection for the younger man getting carried in his steady gaze. “I just…that was so amazing.” He breathed as he began to pet over Frank’s jaw, sliding his hand up a little bit more to rake his fingers through his hair. “I can’t get over how beautiful you are, Frank.”

Frank’s lower lip got caught between his teeth as he smiled bashfully. He still wasn’t used to anyone talking to him like that. Especially not after doing something like what they just did. Normally after he hooked up with anyone, as soon as they were done, they just parted ways. Frank didn’t mind it like that. In fact, that’s how he _preferred_ it to be. But now, this seemed to be much more important than just a hook up. That much was definitely obvious. This was noticeably important to Gerard. He just acted so sweet and loving to Frank and showed him that he really did appreciate what he let him do. Frank looked up into Gerard’s eyes shyly, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips subconsciously.

“Th-Thank you.” He whispered before sighing. “You’re not too bad looking, yourself.” Frank chuckled playfully. He wasn’t really too good at giving verbal affection. It always sounded so awkward when it came out of him.

Gerard only smiled brightly, his teeth on display as he moved to cup Frank’s face with his cool hands. He felt his stomach flutter when Frank leaned into the touch, and he leaned forward to nudge his nose against the boy’s. “You really think so?” He giggled as he scrunched up his face playfully. That had really meant a lot to Gerard. He wasn’t used to Frank saying anything like that to him, so it was nice to know that he was sort of good looking to him.

Frank tilted his head to press a kiss to the pad of Gerard’s thumb, humming softly. “Yeah, I do… You look, well… I-I think y-you’re really um- you’re really handsome.” He admitted as he looked down at their laps. He was just so bad at this, but he felt like Gerard needed to hear it.

Gerard’s face flushed slightly. He felt so good. So happy. Frank had actually called him _handsome_. That was so fucking sweet. Did Frank really think that? Did he really find him handsome? Gerard pulled Frank forward and pressed their lips together into a sweet kiss. Frank breathed a small noise and kissed Gerard back. It was just so odd to him that he felt so comfortable with kissing him now. God, he could just feel the love Gerard was giving him through the kiss. It made him feel so warm and important. He was just basking in it.

Eventually Gerard was the one to break the slow kiss, their lips making a small wet noise as they pulled apart. “Thank you…” He murmured.

Frank furrowed his brow with a curious sound falling from his lips. “For what… _kissing_ you?” He asked with an amused grin.

“No.” Gerard scoffed, a laugh interlacing with the noise. “For helping me calm down...” He explained. “I-If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know what would have happened…”

Frank’s face fell slightly as he thought about how crazy Gerard seemed to get when he was overcome with the grief of losing his brother. It had been frightening, but it also instilled sorrow in Frank’s heart for Gerard and what he had been through. “I-It’s no problem, Gerard.” His voice was quiet as he spoke. His tone gentle and sweet as he looked down at the older man. His eyes slid over Gerard’s milky white complexion, taking the time to really look at him. He really was just so incredibly beautiful. Frank had never really thought of another man being _beautiful_ before. Sure, he thought some guys were hot, but Gerard surpassed that. “I’m glad that I was able to help you.”

The older man slid his hands to grasp at Frank’s sides gently. He stroked over the fabric of his shirt and sighed. “You _always_ help me. You make everything so much better, Frank.” Gerard whispered. His voice was wavering slightly as his emotions threatened to spill over. He was just so thankful to have Frank there. Never would he have thought that he would be sitting there with Frank, actually being able to _touch_ him without any complaint. In fact, Frank seemed to actually _enjoy_ any physical contact he gave him.

A shy, gentle smile was lifting the corners of Frank’s lips as he shifted in Gerard’s lap. It seemed to give him a sense of purpose when Gerard told him that. It made him actually feel important. Frank exhaled softly and ran a hand through his hair, looking down at the way the older man was holding him. His hands just always seemed to be so cold, but it was soothing. Frank’s body always seemed to run hot, so the difference in temperature was nice. Frank leant forward and rested his head against Gerard’s solid chest, his hand fiddling with the hem of Gerard’s loose shirt. He felt so exhausted now, and he was starting to feel his legs aching from sitting with them spread apart for so long. He could also feel the way his cum was beginning to dry in his boxers, causing him to shift uncomfortably.

“Mmph, fuck, now I need to change again.” Frank huffed, just wanting to lie down and fucking _rest_ already. He was so physically and mentally exhausted. He lifted his head from Gerard’s chest and looked up at him with a heavy sigh.

Gerard glanced down at Frank’s boxer clad hips, feeling a giddy sensation run through him when he remembered the events that had just transpired. “Sorry…” Gerard said, not sounding sorry at all. He moved his hand down to brush teasingly over the wet patch on Frank’s briefs, his fingertips just barely adding any pressure to Frank’s overly sensitive cock.

“ _Shit_.” Frank hissed out and squirmed. He shoved Gerard’s hand away from him and glared at him. “Fuck, don’t do that. I’m too sensitive.” He whined before chuckling softly as Gerard just pouted at him.

“You just don’t like to let me have any fun, do you?” Gerard accused him playfully.

Frank scoffed, his mouth pulled into a wide, open mouthed smile. “You’re full of shit, Gerard.” He laughed.

Gerard tossed his head back and laughed, the sound of it coming from deep in his chest. Somehow, it managed to warm Gerard’s heart when Frank had said that. He loved when Frank felt comfortable enough with him to just toss playful banter at him. “Oh? That’s not very nice.” He giggled as he wrapped his arms around Frank and pulled him into a firm hug. “But I suppose I’ll let it slide…” The older man hummed before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Frank’s head.

Frank grunted as he was pulled against Gerard’s chest, but he couldn’t help but meld against him. “How _kind_ of you.” He mumbled with jestful sarcasm lacing his voice. He closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. That action caused the smell of Gerard to fill his lungs, and he felt his body basically liquefy against him, going completely limp. “You smell good.” He blurted out suddenly.

Gerard raised his eyebrows quizzically and pulled back to look down at Frank? “Do I really?” He asked as he lifted one of his arms to sniff his armpit. His nose scrunched up slightly and he shook his head. “Fuck, no I do _not_.” He mumbled before Frank could answer him.

Frank giggled and shook his head. “Well, yeah… You smell like sweat and everything, but it’s just…It’s nice.” He shrugged as he looked away. Now he felt weird for even mentioning it. “Back when I was uh, when I was taken at the store,” Frank began as he glanced back to Gerard. “You had let me wear your jacket, and- I don’t know…It smelled like you, and it really helped me…feel better? I guess that’s how I would describe it? It just made me feel a little less alone when he would hurt me, or put me in the closet…” Frank mumbled as he began to pick at a stray thread on Gerard’s shirt.

Gerard heart clenched as if someone were wrapping their fingers tightly around it and he frowned. “Oh, Frankie…I really hate that you went through that. It does mean a lot to know that that had helped comfort you a little bit though.” Gerard murmured as he stroked over Frank’s cheek. Hearing Frank talk about being there made him feel sick to his stomach, but Randal was dead now. Randal had suffered the way he deserved for hurting the most important thing in the world to him. Fuck, that suddenly reminded him that his body was still down in the basement. Gerard needed to take care of that before he started to smell or anything.

Frank shifted and shrugged, trying to pretend like it wasn’t a big deal. The gentle touches to his face were rather soothing, making him feel even more relaxed than before. “Frank…” Gerard murmured solemnly, causing the boy to furrow his brow at his tone of voice.

“Yeah…?” The boy asked warily. He felt as though he had suddenly done something wrong. He didn’t know _what_ he could have done, but he was still worried.

Gerard tugged his lower lip between his teeth and bit down on it briefly. “I need to go back down to the basement to um…finish taking care of things…” He explained, his fingers beginning to drum nervously against Frank’s sides.

Frank felt his blood run cold, almost as if ice had filled his veins. He didn’t like being reminded of what Gerard had done. He didn’t like to think of things like that. Fuck, Gerard was a murderer. He was a fucking _serial killer_. While Frank had been too distracted by pleasure, he had really forgotten how _serious_ that was. But now that the haze of his orgasm had went away, he realized that it just wasn’t right. It wasn’t okay. Fuck, there was a dead body just one floor beneath him for fuck’s sake. “Oh…right…”

“Frank.” Gerard stated, his voice sounding pleading. “P-Please don’t get upset.” Fuck, Gerard had just ruined the nice little atmosphere they had, hadn’t he? Frank could feel Gerard’s fingers flex against his sides, almost as if he were getting ready to grab him if he tried to jump out of his lap.

Frank looked away, feeling a little sick as the images of Gerard worming his hand inside of Randal’s guts flashed in his mind. “Just…go take care of it.” Frank grumbled, grimacing and pulling away from Gerard and removed himself from his lap. He was surprised when his grip didn’t actually tighten on him to keep him there, instead it just fell away from him almost defeatedly. It nearly caused an urge to just push himself back against Gerard to swell up inside of him, but he managed to push it away.

Gerard looked down at his now empty lap, a frown tugging at his lips as he raked his fingers through is hair. He felt like a complete piece of shit. Killing used to make him feel so good, and it _still_ did, but the way Frank looked whenever it was mentioned just made him want to curl up in a hole and rot. Gerard cleared his throat softly, feeling like he was suffocating just a tiny bit. He didn’t like it when Frank acted like this. “I’ll be back soon, Frankie…” He murmured. As he looked back up to the boy next to him, he saw him pull his sweatpants back up his thighs. Frank had been feeling uncomfortable and way too exposed since his lower half was dressed in only boxers. While it had been fine when they were…fooling around, the mood in the room had changed drastically so it no longer felt right.

“I’m going to be way back in the woods while I bury the body, so it might take me just a bit.” Gerard explained on a heavy sigh. His fingers were beginning to drum over his thighs quickly as he chewed on his lip. As he released it from between his teeth, it came out all red and swollen from how hard he had been biting on it. “But I won’t be too far to where I won’t be able to hear you if you call out for me.”

Frank nodded at the information. He began to think about Gerard dragging Randal’s heavy body through the woods. He could nearly hear the way it would scrape against the ground or drag against the brush and twigs and all of the fallen leaves. Frank wondered how many bodies were buried out there behind the house. How many people have died at Gerard’s hands. Frank looked down to the pale extremities, watching as the slender digits thrummed twitchily. He was surprised that they weren’t stained red by now.

“You won’t try to leave, right, Frankie?” He heard Gerard’s voice break through his thoughts. He looked up at him and shook his head.

“No. I won’t.” The younger man responded. He was way too physically exhausted to even try to run away.

Gerard pushed himself up from the couch with a small grunt and began to wring his hands together. “O-Okay… I-I-I’ll let you— I’ll let you be for now…” He stammered. He felt like garbage and he just wanted to make Frank laugh again. He liked it whenever they had been joking around and had just been so close with each other.

“Alright.” Frank mumbled. He was probably going to just go back upstairs and go to bed after Gerard left. He was so fucking tired that he felt like he could sleep for a week straight.

Gerard’s tongue flitted out to wet his lips absentmindedly. His stomach was starting to hurt again. “I love you…” He whispered, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“I know.” Frank muttered uncaringly as he turned to face away from Gerard.

Gerard had to fight to hold back the whimper that clawed it’s way up his throat, his eyes pricking with tears. Frank wasn’t acting very kindly towards him, and it was taking it’s toll on him. Gerard seemed to be rather emotional when it came to Frank. Normally he would tell Frank that he shouldn’t act that way towards him, but Gerard knew that Frank was just not used to him killing people yet. But he would be soon. Gerard was going to figure out a way to make the boy become accustomed to it. He wouldn’t stop until he did.

Gerard didn’t say anything more to Frank. He knew that it was pointless. He knew that if he tried, then Frank would just grow more uncomfortable. So he just glanced back at Frank one more time, taking in how beautiful he looked even when he was unhappy, and started to head back down to his basement to retrieve the body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! I hope this chapter was okay!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Gerard takes care of the mess he made, he attempts to reconcile with Frank and treats him with a few nice things, even if the last thing he tries to give Frank isn't exactly something that the boy wants.

Gerard grunted as he struggled to pull Randal’s heavy body up the stairs. It was much more difficult than it had been when he was going _down_ the staircase, but he had to do it. He had to get the man’s body out of his house and bury it before it started to smell. Besides, he could tell that Frank wasn’t too happy with him and the whole, ‘being a murderer’ thing. He had expected Frank to be upset about it, but after they had sort of _fooled around_ , he had assumed that maybe it would all be okay. A heavy sigh was pushed out of his lungs as he shook his head. He would get Frank to be okay with. He had to. Soon Frank wouldn’t even bat an eye at what Gerard did.

Gerard shook his head as he finally got Randal’s body up the steps, and he began to pull him towards the back door. Luckily that staircase was situated pretty close to the back of the house, so he didn’t have to drag him that far. He was just glad that he covered him in plastic bags or else he would be dragging his blood all over the floor. He didn’t want to take the time out of his day to clean up even _more_.

It took a lot longer than Gerard had anticipated, but soon enough he had managed to get the body outside and dragged towards the small shed he had a few yards behind his house. He let it fall to the ground heavily as he walked around to the back of the shed to retrieve his wheelbarrow, humming little tune under his breath absently as he pulled it back around to the front. Now all he had to do was actually get the body lifted up and put into it.

A soft noise was grunted out of Gerard’s lungs as he hoisted Randal’s heavy body up and dumped it into his large wheelbarrow. It slumped down into it limply, the black plastic bags covering the corpse rustling noisily from the movement. Gerard dusted his hands together a few times in a feeble attempt to make himself feel cleaner, almost feeling as if parasites were crawling over his skin just from being within a few feet of the vile man’s body. He curled his upper lip in repulsion as he started down at the shape of him through the bags. He loathed him, every fiber of his being detested his existence. Even in his death he was able to evoke a sense of rage in Gerard – easily causing venom to boil up in his veins and pump through them like acid. He just wished that Randal could see himself now. He wished that he was able to watch as Gerard handled his carcass like the _trash_ it was.

Gerard breathed a huff of irritation as he reached down to grab his shovel and placed it into the wheelbarrow alongside the body. He was already so exhausted. He really didn’t have the energy he would need to be lugging a dead man through the woods, but he needed to get it over with. He couldn’t just leave the body out for the animals to get, because there was the off chance that one of them might carry one of his bones off of his property, which would most likely lead to an investigation in search of the other remains. And if they happened to search Gerard’s property then he was in a hell of a lot of trouble. With all of the bodies buried there he could easily get thrown into prison for life. He was just lucky that New Jersey had abolished the death penalty, but they could just as easy take him somewhere close that still had it. Like Virginia or Ohio. Either way, Gerard just had to be careful. That’s how he had made it so long without getting caught. He was careful.

The only time Gerard had deviated from his usual routine was when he kidnapped Frank. He had taken someone that people would miss, that they would look for. Not only that, but he was keeping him _alive_. Frank was the only person other than himself that had ever gone into his house and lived. Gerard briefly wondered if anyone really was looking for Frank, and if they were, then how close were they to finding him? A small surge of worry twisted in his stomach, adding to the pain that was already throbbing inside of him. He couldn’t let anyone find Frank. He couldn’t let him get taken away. He was all he had – all he lived for. What would he do without him?

Gerard shook those thoughts away the best he could, his hands beginning to shake with anxiety as he reached for the handles of the wheelbarrow. He couldn’t think of that right then. He needed to focus on getting rid of Randal’s body.

_________________________

Frank had waited until he heard Gerard shut the back door before he pushed himself off of the couch. He looked down at himself and tugged at the crotch of his pants to sort of pull the fabric away from himself. He needed to change so bad. Though, what he _really_ needed was a shower. He needed to cleanse himself of all of the past few days. So, even though Frank was fucking exhausted and just wanted to collapse into bed, he knew that it would be best for him to get cleaned up first.

With a disgruntled sigh, Frank began to trudge up towards the upstairs bathroom, his feet dragging with the weight of his exhaustion. He really couldn’t believe he had done that with Gerard. He had held out for so long. He had managed to keep himself from giving into Gerard’s advances and his obvious desires, but eventually it became too much. It had worn him down. God, Frank had actually _blown_ him. Frank sighed, grimacing when he realized he could still taste the man on his tongue. It had been good though… At the time it had been pretty amazing actually. It’s just that he didn’t like thinking about how it felt so sudden. Gerard had just gotten through telling him how his brother had died, and Frank’s fucking response had been to suck him off as a way to comfort him. How nice.

Frank groaned and walked into the bathroom, one of his hands sliding over his face and pinching at the bridge of his nose. This was all so messed up. This wasn’t how his life was supposed to go. Frank was supposed to work at the library until he saved up enough money to get his own little crappy apartment, and he was supposed to make a band and play shitty little shows at gritty venues until they made it big. Well…that’s what was _supposed_ to happen, but when did anyone ever say that life actually went as planned? He usually heard the opposite. But he hadn’t expected it to go off course by so _much_. Then again, how could anyone really anticipate getting kidnapped by a serial murderer who happened to fall in love with them?

He looked at himself in the mirror, his eyes glancing at each of the bruises that littered his skin. He looked like he had been in quite a fight. One that obviously hadn’t been too fair for him. Some of them were starting to yellow, but some still looked fresh and deep – the colors ugly against his skin. He glanced at his hair, noticing how oily and covered in grime it appeared to be. He felt so gross, so _filthy_. He couldn’t stand the sight of himself. It’s like his reflection wasn’t really showing the self that he knew. It was showing a weaker, distorted version. One that couldn’t think for himself or do anything to protect himself. One that depended on Gerard. It made him feel so _pathetic_.

A broken whimper clawed out of Frank’s throat as he tore his gaze away from himself, turning his body away from the mirror so he wouldn’t accidentally catch another glimpse of his reflection as he began to tug his clothes off. He peeled his boxers off of himself with a grimace, tossing them to the floor with a look of distaste before quickly stepping into Gerard’s large shower and turning it on.

Frank didn’t really think of anything while he showered. He let the constant noise of the water spraying act as a white noise, just buzzing through his mind and creating a static of nothingness to blanket him. He sat on the floor of the shower for awhile after he was cleaned, just letting the warm water run over his body and soothe him. He already felt so much better than he had in a while.

After Frank felt as though he had been in the shower long enough, he turned the water off and pushed himself to stand up. He hadn’t really wanted to get out already, but he wanted to be asleep before Gerard got finished with what he was doing. Frank glanced up at himself in the mirror again, and behind the veil of steam covering the mirror, he was able to pretend that his reflection was normal. He was able to convince himself that he wasn’t covered in bruises and that he didn’t have dark bags under his eyes. It was nice. Maybe soon he would actually look like that.

Frank gathered his dirty clothes after wrapping a towel around his waist, and he placed them in the hamper. He guessed that he would just raid Gerard’s closet to find another shirt for him to wear. He wasn’t wearing sweatpants again. He wanted to sleep in his underwear for once. He felt like he hadn’t been able to do that in so _long_. Normally he didn’t want to just be in his underwear around Gerard, but he figured it didn’t really matter anymore. Besides, he would stay under the covers so it’s not like he would be too exposed.

Once Frank found a thin, worn out looking white t-shirt in the hung up in the back of Gerard’s closet, he tugged it on over his head and began to nose through Gerard’s drawers to find some clean underwear. He usually would never wear underwear that didn’t belong to him, but he didn’t really have any other option. He got them tugged over his damp legs quickly and he unwrapped the towel from his waist so he could ruffle it over his hair some more to help dry it further. He looked at Gerard’s large bed once he was satisfied with his level of dryness, and he sighed heavily. It was weird to see it without the older man curled up on it. It just felt oddly… _empty_.

Frank crawled into the bed, finding it to actually be rather cold without the warmth of Gerard holding him close. He hated to admit it, but he _missed_ Gerard. He really did. He didn’t take to well to being all on his own anymore. Not after what had happened. Frank made a small noise as he shuffled over to Gerard’s side of the bed, burying his face into his pillow and inhaling. It smelled so nice. He found that the smell of Gerard tended to have a sort of calming effect on him. Frank cuddled the pillow close to him, wrapping the blankets over his body and sighing heavily. It was a little embarrassing to be holding onto Gerard’s pillow like it was a stuffed animal, but he couldn’t find it in him to care properly at the moment. He was tired and his whole body was aching, and all he cared about now that he was in the bed was actually getting to _sleep_.

Luckily that didn’t take too long, and soon Frank was graced by the presence of the much wanted unconsciousness.

_________________________

Gerard stabbed the shovel into the ground once he finished digging a deep and wide enough hole to toss the body into. Sweat was beading on his skin, even in the freezing temperature of the night air. His body felt like it was aching, each muscle burning as he stretched a little in an attempt to loosen them up. He always felt a little worn out when he got finished digging a grave. It wasn’t as fun as the first part of his ‘extra curricular’ activity. Though…he supposed that this was an extremely small price to pay for what he got to do.

Gerard looked back over to Randal’s body, still wrapped in the large plastic bags and slumped in an _ugly_ shape. Though…Gerard was just being biased because he hated him. But Gerard never liked _anyone_ he killed. Why would he ever kill anyone he _liked_? Another sigh crawled out of Gerard’s throat as he began to walk over to the wheelbarrow, wheeling it up to the hole and dumping the body next to it. He still needed to get the bags off of it. The plastic would just slow the decomposition rate which isn’t what he wanted. He wanted the worms to hurry up and start eating through Randal’s stupid face. He wanted insects to crawl into him and eat him from the inside out. He wanted maggots to worm their way through his corroded veins as they writhe and feed from his lifeless corpse.

Gerard leaned down and ripped the bags off of Randal, glaring down at him with distaste. God, he was so foul to look at. He was so _repulsive._ Gerard’s fingers clenched into tight fists at his side, his jaw gritting as he felt anger boil up inside of him just from the sight of him. “Piece of _shit_.” Gerard spat out, delivering a swift kick Randal’s head. It quickly snapped to the side from the force of the contact, but other than that it did nothing. All that did was frustrate Gerard further. He wanted to see this man hurt again. He wanted to cause him more pain.

Gerard reached for the shovel again, having to jerk it out of the ground before he raised it above his head. He slammed the flat side of it down against Randal’s skull, his heart fluttering with excitement at he loud crack it created as he broke through the bone. He then did it again, grunting and yelling obscenities with each blow. The sound of his voice echoed through the woods brokenly, bouncing off of the trees and up to the starless void above the branches.

Gerard was so tired, he had been running on barely any sleep for who knows how long. It made him act just a tad bit less composed than he normally did. Of course, he killed Randal under special circumstances. He killed him because he actually did something that made Gerard more angry than he had been in a long, _long_ time. So he was bound to act a little more violently towards him than his previous kills, as he normally just buried the bodies quickly and efficiently. He never took the time to damage them the way he was doing to Randal after he killed them. The most he would do was to just cut the bodies up to carry them easier, but that wasn’t for any sort of self-gratification.

Gerard kept hitting Randal’s head with the shovel until his skull was caved in, his face mutilated beyond recognition as he delivered one last blow. Gerard sniffled slightly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as his seething had caused spit to dribble down his chin. He still wasn’t finished though. He still needed to actually _bury_ the body. The man sighed quietly, walking to stand above Randal’s disfigured head and looked down at him. He took the shovel and rested the point of it right onto his throat, briefly twirling it a little and watching as it caused it to carve into the dead flesh. Gerard pursed his lips out for a moment, now looking as though he were bored as he looked over the corpse. A small sigh escaped him as he lifted the shovel again, before he took the sharp edge of it and began to stab it into the neck of the body over and over again, slowly decapitating the head from its shoulders.

It took a bit to actually hack through the spine and get it completely severed, but soon the head was rolling freely from the body and Gerard was kicking it into the grave. He then moved to drag the rest of the corpse into the hole, watching as the entrails were gathering leaves as they scrapped over the ground before the body tumbled into the small pit.

Gerard exhaled noisily as he walked over to the large pile of dirt, and he slowly began to pile it into the hole, covering Randal’s dead body for the final time.

\--

Gerard locked the back door and swallowed thickly, his entire body aching from how much he had exerted it. He just needed to go to bed. He needed to be with _Frank_. But the memory of how disappointed in him Frank had appeared to be flashed in his mind, and he winced slightly. He just wanted Frank to be happy with him. He didn’t want him to be upset with any choices he made. It was just too upsetting for him to think of at the moment. He really needed to just go to sleep and let his mind rest for once. He felt like he was finally able to relax just a little bit because now Frank wasn’t gone anymore. He was safe with him and the man that took him was _dead._ He was dead and buried and Gerard never had to think about him ever again. Now all he had to worry about was making Frank get used to the whole _murderer_ thing.

Gerard wandered into the living room and glanced at the room to see if Frank was there, but he was surprised to see that he wasn’t. The only notable thing that was in the room anymore was the broken lamp and the hole in the wall. Shit, Gerard needed to clean up his mess, but he was too drained. So the mess would have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe Gerard could find something to hang over the hole so he wouldn’t have to fix it properly.

A yawn escaped him as he began to turn back to go to the staircase, his body shaking a little with the force of it. He climbed up the steps, his pale fingers grasping at the railing to help pull him up. He was just so _tired_. His body had been through so much fucking stress lately that it felt like it was actually _killing_ him. How ironic. Gerard sighed as he reached the top, his fingers carefully tangling in his hair as he tugged at it. He wanted to lay down. He wanted to be curled up with Frank as he slept away all of the stressful events that had happened within the past couple of days. He couldn’t wait to just fucking _relax_. Even if Frank wasn’t happy with seeing him, it would still be nice to lay next to him. He missed him. Gerard missed Frank so fucking much. Being out there with Randal, beating his already dead body to a pulp, had made him feel like he was losing himself a little bit.

He didn’t like how he was. He never had. He actually had quite a bit of hatred for himself festering inside of him like a parasite. He didn’t like that he enjoyed killing people. He didn’t like that he had _kidnapped_ Frank instead of trying to befriend him when he had originally first met him. But the thing he hated the most, was that he could change. He could stop killing and he could take Frank back home, but he didn’t _want_ to. He didn’t want to and it pissed him off.

Gerard huffed as he reached the top of the stairs. He didn’t have the energy to deal with his inner-turmoil right then. He just needed to clean up and go to sleep.

Gerard pushed his bedroom door open slowly, and he was relieved to see that Frank was asleep in the bed. At least he didn’t have to worry anymore about where he was. He hated it when Frank was out of his sight. Gerard tipped his head to the side when he realized that Frank was curled up on his side of the bed, his lips curling into a pleasant smile. That was so cute. He was even hugging one of Gerard’s pillows close to his chest, his face buried into it. Maybe Frank had _missed_ him. The thought of that sent butterflies erupting in the older man’s stomach, and he bit down on his lip through his smile.

He wanted to go over there and lay down with Frank, but he had to clean his hands off first. He didn’t want to touch Frank with his filthy hands. He felt as though he should always be clean before he had any contact with him. So Gerard wandered towards his bathroom and began to strip himself of his clothes. He took a wet cloth and added some soap before rubbing himself down. He didn’t have enough energy to take a full shower, so this would have to do for now. As soon as he was finished and he got himself as clean as he was able to, Gerard wrapped a towel around himself and left the room.

He walked over to his dresser and tugged on some boxers under the towel before letting it drop to the floor. He decided to just forget about trying to put on anything else because at the moment he felt as though having clothes covering his body would only cause him to feel restricted or suffocated. He felt like he needed to just let his skin _breathe._ Gerard sighed softly and glanced back over to Frank with a soft grin. God, he was just so beautiful. He eagerly began to walk over to the bed, stepping towards Frank’s side of the mattress since the boy was currently lying on _his_ side. He tugged the covers back slightly as he moved to lie himself down, and he raised his brows when he noticed that Frank wasn’t wearing any pants - instead his hips were only adorned by his briefs.

Gerard bit down on his lip and moved to rest his hand over Frank’s thigh. “Hmph.” Frank mumbled before turning over to face Gerard. His eyes cracked open hazily and he furrowed his brow as he tried to focus on the other man’s face. “Gee…?”

Gerard’s breathing hitched, his heart rate quickening as his chest as he stifled a small whimper. Apparently Frank had forgotten just how much that name affected him. It made him feel extremely emotional, but he couldn’t let it mess with him then. He just needed to focus on the fact that Frank decided to use a nickname for him. Maybe he could learn to associate that name with Frank as well instead of just feeling immense sorrow and grief over Mikey when he heard it. “Yeah, Frankie?” He murmured in return as he began to tug the blanket back over them.

“Tired.” Was all Frank grumbled as he shuffled closer to Gerard and tucked himself against his warm chest. Sure, he had been upset, but he was just barely even awake so he wasn’t really thinking of that. All he cared about was getting warm and comfortable so he could continue to get some rest.

A warm chuckle rattled in Gerard’s chest and he wrapped his arms eagerly around Frank. His body felt like it nearly melted at the contact. His muscles relaxed and his stomach unclenched, the pain dissolving slowly as he lifted a hand up to pet over Frank’s hair. “I know, Darling.” He cooed softly as he cupped the boy’s jaw and leaned in to press a kiss to nose. “Just go back to sleep. I’ll be right here if you need me.” Gerard murmured softly.

Frank yawned cutely, his nose scrunching up as he blinked up at Gerard slowly. “Mmm, ‘night.” He sighed, and Gerard smiled down at him.

“Goodnight, Frank.” He whispered. It didn’t take much longer for Frank to fall back asleep, and Gerard just wanted to take a moment to watch him. He wanted to take in his face when he was relaxed and calm. He could hear his slow, even breaths getting exhaled through his nose. His lashes were beginning to flutter as he dreamed, his lips parting slightly. He looked so beautiful. Gerard was certain that he thought that at least once every five seconds. He wondered if Frank knew that he was beautiful. He wondered if he felt like he was as amazing as Gerard thought he was. He hoped so. He needed Frank to know how remarkable he was.

Gerard sighed slowly and began to scratch his nails gently over Frank’s back through his shirt. He knew that in the morning Frank wouldn’t be as sweet. He knew that he would remember why he had been upset with Gerard and that he would have to try to make it up to him. He was okay with that though. Because Gerard knew that he could work through anything with Frank. Frank was so important to him that he just couldn’t let _anything_ get between them. Eventually Gerard wasn’t able to keep his eyes open any longer, the drowsiness overcoming him and tugging his lids closed. He fell asleep just a few moments later.

_________________________

Frank was the first one to wake up the next morning. One of his eyes cracked open slowly while the other one was unable to open since the side of his face was pressed up against something firm and warm. He pulled back with a tired grunt and realized that he had bee sleeping against Gerard’s chest. He grimaced when he felt his cheek was slick with drool, looking down to see that it had spilled down onto Gerard’s skin as well. He lifted up the blanket to wipe his face off, before beginning to do the same to Gerard. He didn’t necessarily want the older man to wake up to his spit covering his chest.

“Hmm?” Gerard grunted softly as he felt something rubbing over his skin and he opened his eyes slowly, giving a drowsy yawn as he began to wake up. “What’re you doin’?” He slurred a little as he wiped his own mouth. It appeared that he had drooled a little bit as well.

Frank looked up at Gerard, unable to suppress a slight shiver at the way the man’s voice sounded thick and deep from his sleep. “Uh…” He gave a shy smile and shrugged. “I kinda drooled all over you…” He explained sheepishly, letting the blanket slip from his grasp and fall back to the mattress noiselessly.

Gerard glanced down to his chest and raised his eyebrow in amusement. “Hot.” He chuckled teasingly before wrapping his arms around Frank and tugging him to lie on top of him.

Frank squeaked a small noise and shook his head. “You’re so gross.” He murmured, just then noticing how close their faces were now. He looked into Gerard’s hazel eyes, finding his gaze to always be so intense and piercing even when they were just laying together. It was like he was able to look directly into Frank’s soul, and sometimes it was just a little bit unnerving.

“You say that like I don’t already know.” Gerard hummed in retaliation, his tongue flitting out to wet his lips subconsciously as he looked back into Frank’s warm, sleepy eyes.

Both of them fell quiet after that. Just soaking in the peaceful atmosphere that the morning always brought with it. The lighting in the room was soft and blue. It spilled through the window and painted their pale skin with a gentle radiance, making everything seem unsaturated and soft around the edges. It was dreamlike and beautiful, almost seeming otherworldly as they lied together, their bodies tangled with each other beneath the soft white covers.

“…I love you” Gerard was the first to break the silence, his voice quiet and hushed as he whispered it like it was the first time he had ever said it. Like it was some big secret that he had been holding in for as long as he could remember.

Frank’s breath caught in his throat slightly. He was used to hearing Gerard say that to him, but this time it it was just drenched in pure feeling and emotion that it almost startled the boy, shaking him down to his core. He hitched his lower lip between his teeth and sighed, trying to get rid of the butterflies that were currently attacking his stomach. “I…” He whispered, pausing as he tore his gaze from Gerard’s. He still couldn’t say it back. He just…He was afraid to say it. He was afraid of locking himself into that commitment, especially if he didn’t mean it just yet. “I really care about you, Gerard…But I don’t—“ Frank cut himself off, feeling almost ashamed that he didn’t reciprocate the older man’s feelings. “Not yet…”

Gerard dragged one of his hands up to cradle Frank’s jaw, gently stroking over his cheek with his thumb. “Hey…” He cooed sweetly. “I understand. Okay, Frankie?” He assured him. While it did hurt and disappoint him a little that Frank didn’t feel the same way, he knew that Frank would love him eventually. He _had_ to.

Frank tilted into the cool, gentle touch of Gerard’s palm, still avoiding eye contact. “Okay.” He exhaled quietly.

Gerard’s brows tugged together and he tipped his head to the side. “Hey…” He whispered, trying to get Frank’s attention. “Look at me. Please.”

Frank finally looked up, getting a little caught off guard by the way he was looking at him. His stare was filled with just so much _love_. He glanced down to Gerard’s sweet smile, feeling the man’s thumb swipe over his bottom lip. “Come here.” Frank saw Gerard’s lips mouth towards him. So he did.

Frank slowly leaned down and tentatively began to press his lips against Gerard’s, letting his eyes fall closed as he felt the other man push up to return the kiss. He didn’t know why he complied to what Gerard wanted so easily. Maybe it’s because he just woke up and his mind was still clouded in a drowsy haze, so he was more susceptible to the older man’s seemingly hypnotic allure . Maybe it was because he didn’t want to ruin the tranquil tone of the room by going against him. Or maybe… _maybe_ , it was because Frank had actually _wanted_ to kiss him.

He hated that Gerard was just so captivatingly charming whenever he wanted to be. Sure, he hadn’t really done any _big_ romantic gesture just then, but it was just the way the he looked at him. His warm hazel eyes were always radiating love for him. Each little golden, green, and amber flake that hid away in the vibrant irises reflected the pure fondness that he had for the younger man.

“Mmh.” Frank sighed against Gerard’s lips as the older man grasped at the side of his face to pull him in closer, making the kiss a little more purposeful. He could feel his slender fingers digging into the hair on the sides of his head, basically cementing him there against his lips so he couldn’t pull away even if he wanted to. Though, Frank honestly didn’t think that he _did_ want to. He had begun to grow accustomed to the way Gerard’s pale lips felt as the slotted against his own, the taste of the other man now becoming familiar to him.

A happy little noise crawled out of Gerard’s mouth when he pulled away, his fingers siding back through Frank’s hair as he smiled at him. It seemed that he was always smiling at Frank. He constantly made Gerard so happy just by existing. “So pretty.” He said in a soft voice, his eyes following the upward curve of Frank’s lips as he began to grin as well.

Frank shook his head and moved to push his face into the crook of Gerard’s neck. He had missed him while he had been gone the night before. Fuck…the night before… So much had happened yesterday. So much that Frank never wanted to remember, but always would. It was a stain on the fabric of his mind now, unable to ever be cleansed from him. He felt uncomfortable now, and Gerard was able to feel it in the sudden tension that appeared in his shoulders, his body going slightly rigid as he pulled back. This seemed to happen frequently, as if he was snapping out the dreamlike trance Gerard tended to hypnotized him into, and entering reality to see it for what it truly was – no longer seeing it through the rosy veil that Gerard always tugged over his eyes.

Frank leaned away further, his brows tugged together in a display of uneasiness. He pulled out of Gerard’s lap, his head shaking as he began to withdraw into himself. “Frank, what is it?” Gerard asked, confused by Frank sudden change in mood. He then realized that there could really only be one thing that would upset him, and he sighed softly. “Are you thinking about last night?” He said when Frank took too long to actually answer him.

Frank moved to the other side of the bed and looked away, silently answering Gerard’s question. He hated that he couldn’t just forget what Gerard did. He hated that he couldn’t just overlook what he had done.

Gerard worried his lower lip between his teeth, fussing with the corner of the blanket as he looked over at Frank. He had known that it would get brought up again _eventually,_ so he just had to try to defuse the tension before it grew like it had the night before. “Frank, I know you don’t approve of what I do—“

“That’s an understatement.” Frank interrupted him, crossing his arms over his chest and looking even further away.

Gerard’s brows pulled together and he scowled at the boy. He really didn’t appreciate being interrupted. It made a discomfort settle in his stomach like a stone, his veins feeling like flames were licking at them as his fingers clenched around the blanket. Gerard closed his eyes, his jaw working as he tried to calm himself. He didn’t want to lash out at Frank this time. He was trying to make things _better_ , not _worse_.

“As I was saying,” Gerard decided to say instead of getting onto Frank. “I want to make it up to you…”

Frank raised a curious eyebrow, his chin tilting up and guiding his face to look at Gerard. He was a little skeptical and it showed in the tension he was carrying in his shoulders, making him appear rigid and uncomfortable. Gerard wanted to _make it up to him_? He wanted to make up for killing people? “How are you planning on doing that, exactly?”

Gerard fiddled with his fingers and shrugged. That was a good question. “I don’t know, Frankie…” He murmured, feeling a little defeated when Frank sighed loudly in return, like he had been expecting that answer. “Why don’t I take you out?” Gerard asked abruptly, to which Frank looked confused.

“What do you mean?”  Frank questioned, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Do you mean you want to take me out of the house?” Frank didn’t exactly know how he felt about that. While he would love to get out of there for a bit, he was also unable to stop thinking about what had happened the last time he left the house.

“W-Well, Yeah… I can take you on, you know…a _date_.” Gerard offered, a blush blooming on his cheeks. He hadn’t ever taken anyone on a date before, not a proper one anyways. It’s not that he _couldn’t_ get a date, because he had gotten a few offers over the years, it’s just that no one had ever interested him in a romantic sense. He never cared to be with anyone like that before. But then Frank came along, and Gerard wanted to be with him in every single way possible.

Frank was just staring at Gerard with wide eyes, his lips parted in surprise. “A _date_?” He echoed. His stomach did an oddly pleasant swoop as he thought abut that. While he had taken plenty of chicks and some dudes on some dates, he had never been taken on one by someone else. He felt rather excited at the prospect of one. But…where was Gerard wanting to take him?

Gerard nodded with a tiny smile placed on his lips. “A date.” He confirmed.

“Where would you take me?” Frank asked the burning question, watching as Gerard worried his lower lip between his teeth in thought. He then saw his eyes light up with excitement, his grin widening as he figured out where he wanted to take him.

“I’m going to take you to this little diner that I used to go to when I was a kid.” Gerard finally answered, his veins thrumming with excitement. “It’s one of those cliché little fifties diners, but it was mine and Mikey’s favorite place to go when we were younger.” He explained, and Frank was certain that that was the first time he ever heard the other man say his brother’s name with something other than sadness. Instead he sounded so fond of him, his lips still tilting upwards as he recalled one of his very few happy memories.

Seeing Gerard like that made it nearly impossible for Frank to refuse. Besides, he had always liked those little diners, even though he would never admit it to anyone else. And he felt as though it was an important place to Gerard. It was special to him since he associated it with his brother, so Frank knew that Gerard wouldn’t offer to take _anyone_ there. Of course, Frank had already known that he was important to Gerard, but it still made him feel nice to know that he was willing to share such an important place with him. “I would love to go.” Frank murmured as he scooted closer to Gerard, the proverbial rosy veil getting tugged over his eyes once again. How could he stay mad at him when he was being so sweet to him? Sure, it didn’t make up for being a _serial killer_ , but it was something to help take Frank’s mind off of it, and that’s really what he needed right then. He felt like he was going to go mad if he kept thinking about it.

Gerard didn’t hold back as soon as he saw Frank inch closer to him. He took that as a sign that he was allowed to be close to him, so he closed the distance between them and pulled Frank against him. “Oh, Frankie…That’s so good to hear.” He said into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as a warm happy laugh rattled in his ribcage. Frank just huffed and whined playfully, weakly pushing at Gerard’s chest before just slumping against him. Every time he was away from Gerard, he forgot how nice it felt to be held by him. He felt so safe and secure as he was wrapped up in the older man’s strong arms. He felt like nothing could ever really hurt him.

“I also want to take you to a store so we can get you some actual clothes for you to wear.” Gerard added after a moment, making Frank pull back to look up at him. Gerard smiled down at him and moved to tuck the curl of his fringe behind his ear. “That way you don’t have to just keep wearing my clothes or that same outfit over and over again that you came here in.”

Frank looked down at himself and raised an eyebrow at himself. He figured that it _would_ be nice to actually wear clothes that fit him, even though he really liked wearing Gerard’s clothes. He liked the way that they smelled. He then smirked playfully up at Gerard. “What, are you saying that I don’t look good in that outfit?” He asked teasingly.

“W-What?” Gerard asked incredulously. Even though he knew that Frank was just playing around, he still felt compelled to reassure the boy that that wasn’t how he felt about it at all. “No, no, Frank. Fuck, you look so good in that outfit.” He promised as he lifted his hands up to cup Frank’s face, he smushed his cheeks together and giggled before pressing a kiss to his lips that were pursed out. “You look good in _everything_. I mean it. Sometimes it drives me a little crazy.” Gerard whispered as he released his grasp on the boy’s face.

Frank’s face was heated up from the kiss, somehow still managing to get flustered when Gerard kissed him. He just wasn’t used to it yet. He wasn’t used to being treated so sweetly by anyone. “Pshh, whatever…” Frank scoffed, rolling his eyes to hide how much Gerard’s compliments really affected him. He then looked down at their laps as a heavy sigh escaped him. “But you really don’t have to buy me clothes or anything…” He murmured shyly. He hadn’t ever liked to make people spend their money on him. Sure, buying food for him was okay, but actually buying _things_ for him made him feel a little guilty. Because while he needed food to survive, getting things was just something that he didn’t _need_. He was fine going without them.

Gerard’s brows pulled together and he tilted Frank’s chin up with his finger. “Listen to me, Sweetheart,” Gerard whispered in a gentle voice, causing the young man’s cheeks to flush at the nickname. “I wouldn’t offer it if I _really_ didn’t want to.” He assured Frank and offered a disarming smile. “I’ve always wanted to be able to buy things for you, Frank. Ever since I saw you I’ve wanted to spoil you. Please let me do that.” He begged as he slowly dragged his thumb over the other’s lower lip, quirking one of his eyebrows up with a hum.

Frank’s tongue darted out instinctively and swiped over the pad of Gerard’s thumb, and he watched as his eyes immediately darkened. Oh… He had to be a lot more careful about doing things like that. “U-Uhm, yeah… yeah o-okay.” He whispered, feeling something stir in his gut. He did his best to ignore the warm feeling that bloomed in his stomach, and he looked down between them. Though that didn’t really help much since it brought his gaze to look at Gerard’s crotch that was only covered by a thin pair of boxers. Frank’s face heated up and he quickly averted his gaze, his skin prickling as he swallowed thickly and cleared his throat.

A smirk tugged at the corner of Gerard’s mouth when he saw just how flustered Frank seemed. “Mmm, Frankie…” Gerard whispered, his name dripping from his tongue slow and sensual as he stared at him with an almost predatory gaze. “You need to be more careful, darling…” He warned with a raise of his eyebrow, tipping his head back slightly as he tilted Frank’s chin up again. “Teasing me can be dangerous.”

Frank looked into Gerard’s eyes and struggled to hold back a whimper, the sound escaping as a strangled whine. “Okay…Okay.” He said breathlessly, as if Gerard had somehow taken the air from his lungs just by looking at him. “Yes, Sir.”

Of course getting called that had pleased Gerard, so he gave a satisfied smile and pulled Frank in to kiss his forehead. “Mmm, let’s go ahead and get ready before this goes a little too far, hm?” He suggested as he waited for Frank to get out of his lap again.

Frank nodded. He definitely agreed with that. He didn’t know if he wanted anything to happen again so soon. He was still coming to terms with what he had already done with Gerard. He moved off of the older man and sighed softly as he watched him get up from the bed, not exactly knowing what he was going to wear. He supposed that it was a good thing that Gerard was going to actually buy him some new clothes. He had been getting a little tired of either wearing the same pair of dirty pants or just sweatpants.

Gerard moved to the closet and picked out a simple black, long-sleeved shirt for himself to wear along with some black jeans, and he tugged them on. There was something about watching Gerard get dressed that was sort of hypnotizing. It had the usual odd sense of domesticity that surrounded the act of watching someone pick out their clothes and get dressed, but somehow Gerard also made it seem a little…sexual as well. Maybe it was the way his pale fingers grasped and tugged at the dark fabric, or maybe it was the way it made Frank’s eyes desperately hitch onto his exposed skin before it was covered up. Gerard just always had a certain _something_ about the way he did things.

Frank looked away when Gerard turned back to him, not wanting to get caught staring at him even though he didn’t have a reason to be embarrassed since Gerard stared at _him_ all the time. “What am I going to wear?” He asked to distract himself.

Gerard looked back at Frank as he picked another shirt out and began to look in the back of his closet for a pair of older jeans that might be a little smaller than the ones he currently wore. “Here, try these on.” Gerard instructed as he found some and moved to hand the clothes to Frank. “I wore these when I was about fifteen, I think?” He pursed his lips briefly as he made a small noise of thought. “They should probably fit you, though you might still need a belt.”

“Oh, uh thanks.” Frank said as he took the clothes and nodded politely. “I’ll just get dressed in the bathroom.” He mumbled as he moved off of the bed.

“Okay, I’ll be waiting here.” The older man smiled sweetly as he sat down where Frank had previously been sitting.

It didn’t take long for Frank to emerge from the restroom dressed in Gerard’s clothes. The legs of the pants had to be rolled up a couple of times, and they felt a little loose on his hips, but other than that they fit pretty good.  “Does this look okay?” He asked, feeling slightly self conscious as he looked down at himself.

Gerard stood up and brushed his hands over Frank’s shoulders, inspecting the way his shirt sat upon his smaller body with a smile. “You look lovely, Frank.” He assured him, fussing over him like one would expect a mother to do with her child. He ran his fingers through Frank’s hair to tame it a little bit, making Frank whine softly. “Your roots are starting to show.” Gerard observed, carding his fingers through the short blond hairs on the side of Frank’s head. This only caused Frank to whine again and lift his hands up to cover his hair.

“I need to bleach them again…” Frank mumbled self consciously. Normally he didn’t care about his appearance that much, and even if he _did,_ he always had the opportunity to touch up his hair before it got too bad. But _now_ he was stuck at Gerard’s house and he couldn’t just go to the store whenever he wanted to to get any hair dye or bleach.

Gerard shook his head and tugged Frank’s hands away from himself so he could thread his fingers through his hair again. Feeling Frank’s soft hair beneath his fingers always made him feel so good. It soothed him. The pain that swirled around in his stomach, constantly lashing out at his internal organs, faded and dissipated  into something much more mild and easier to deal with. “No, no, Frankie. I like it.” The older man assured him as he smiled. “I’ve never actually seen your natural hair color before…” He murmured as he leaned in closer to inspect the brown that was wrapped around the base of each of the strands. He hummed as he pulled back and he darted his eyes down to Frank’s lips. “My hair is brown too.” He smiled warmly.

Frank looked up at Gerard’s startling white hair almost skeptically, squinting at it as he reached up to run his fingers through it tentatively. “Really?” He murmured, a hint of a smile in his voice when the other man leaned into his touch. It was hard to imagine Gerard with just plain brown hair. Sure, brown was a lovely hair color, but it just didn’t seem like _Gerard_. Brown didn’t seem eccentric enough for the other man.

Gerard nodded, reaching up and tugging Frank’s hand down to his lips to press a few gentle kisses to his knuckles. “Yeah. I started dyeing it black when I was about…thirteen?” He mumbled, tilting his head to the side before nodding in confirmation. “Yeah, I was thirteen.” He smiled, lacing his fingers with Frank’s and sitting their hands in his lap.

“When did you bleach it white?” Frank asked curiously. He vaguely remembered Gerard having longer black hair back when he had _first_ met him, but he couldn’t remember exactly when it it had changed to being white. That probably had to do with the fact that Gerard had been staying hidden from him that whole time. Frank tried to not think about how strange or creepy that was.

Gerard pursed his lips and furrowed his brow as he tried to remember. “I think it was just a few days before I talked to you again.” He answered as he began to run his fingers through his own hair with his free hand.

It was always weird for Frank to think back to that day. It was a major turning point in his life. It was the moment that everything changed for him. He looked up to Gerard’s hair again. “What made you cut and bleach it?” He questioned after a moment. He hoped his questions weren’t bothersome. He just wanted to learn more about Gerard since he had seemed to know so much about _him_ already.

Gerard tugged on a few short strands absently as he shrugged. “I just wanted to look fresh and clean before I started talking to you again…” He admitted sheepishly, stroking his thumb over the back of Frank’s hand. He felt a little lame to say that, but it had been the truth. He felt like he had looked all ratty and dirty with his black, greasy hair, and he had wanted to look more presentable for the young man.

A smile tugged at Frank’s lips and he felt his face heat up faintly. He always thought it was sweet when he was reminded of just how much Gerard wanted to impress him. “Is that really why?”

Gerard gave a short nod. “Yeah.” He murmured as he removed his hand from his hair. “D-Do you like it?” He asked suddenly nervous. “I mean, do you think it looks okay? Or did you like it better black?” He elaborated as he looked down at their clasped hands.

Frank could sense that Gerard was feeling a little insecure, and he felt the immediate need to put an end to it. “No, Gee. I like the way it looks now.” He promised, unknowingly using the nickname again. “It looks nice black, of course, but I feel like the white suits you better. It’s more shocking, y’know?” He murmured. “It seems more _stunning,_ or _unique_ , I guess would be the words. It’s unusual, but in a good way.” Frank finally finished with a curt nod.

Gerard was quiet for a moment, his lower lip hitching between his teeth as he looked up at Frank. Hearing that name in Frank’s voice made him feel a wide range of emotions that he felt like he wasn’t capable of comprehending properly. So he decided to try to focus on all of the good feelings it gave him, instead of the feelings of sorrow and grief that were trying to well up inside of him. Of course, his eyes still pricked with a few tears that threatened to spill over. That’s when Frank realized his mistake.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Gerard. I-it just slipped out.” Frank stammered quickly, hurriedly moving to wrap his arms around him and pressing himself up against his chest. He looked up at him with big eyes and stood on the tip of his toes to begin pressing kisses all along Gerard’s jaw. “I’m sorry I called you that.” He apologized profusely. He knew that that was what Mikey used to call Gerard, so he knew that it was a special nickname for him that tended to make him pretty emotional. And while Frank didn’t want Gerard to feel upset, he _also_ knew that he tended to get a little unstable when he was distressed. So he wanted to make sure that he was soothed before he did anything that might end up getting one – or _both_ of them hurt.

Gerard wrapped an arm around Frank’s smaller frame, lifting his other hand to rest on the back of the boy’s head as he pressed a firm kiss to the top of his hair, exhaling noisily. “I-it’s okay, Frank.” He whispered as he tugged Frank’s head back a little so he could look down at him again. “It makes me— it makes me _miss_ him, of course…” He whispered, flicking his gaze to the floor momentarily like he was ashamed to be showing any sort of grief. “But…I still like hearing you call me that.” He murmured, slowly stroking his hand over Frank’s hair absentmindedly, almost as a way for him to soothe himself. “Sometimes I would imagine you calling me that when I would watch you…” He admitted as he looked away again.

Frank never knew how to react when Gerard brought up the fact that he had practically stalked him for a little over a year, so to avoid doing anything to upset the other man, he just acted like it wasn’t weird to him. “You really thought about that?” He asked him softly, still keeping himself pressed up against his chest.

“Yeah…I thought about a lot of things when I watched you.” Gerard answered as he leaned down to press a sweet kiss to Frank’s lips with a low hum, starting to feel better again. “Most of them were sweet things, like kissing you the way I just did.” He smiled with a gentle upwards tug of his lips. “Though…some of them I would rather keep in my head until I’m sure you’re ready.” Gerard added with a slight arch of his eyebrow.

Frank’s face heated up as he looked down at Gerard’s chest. He had thought that Gerard meant purely _sexual_ things, and while Gerard _had_ meant that, he _also_ meant something a lot darker than just sex. He had always thought about how wonderful it would be to have Frank by his side when he killed someone. He wanted to watch Frank lose himself the same way that he always did when he killed someone. It would be such a beautiful sight. God, Gerard could imagine just how _arousing_ it would be too. Of course, he wasn’t going to mention it to Frank. Not just yet, anyway…

Gerard huffed a small breath, feeling slightly flustered now that he had thought about his little fantasy again. Having Frank pressed all up against him wasn’t necessarily helping him too much either. Gerard pulled Frank away from him, even though his body was screaming at him to hold him close until they melded together, and he smiled. “Alright. Enough standing around,” He grinned as he leaned down to kiss the top of Frank’s head again, making the boy blush. “Let’s get our coats and shoes on so I can finally take you on our date.” Gerard chirped happily, feeling giddy again.

It didn’t take much longer for them to make it downstairs with their coats and shoes on, and Gerard glanced around the house briefly just as a last minute check before guiding Frank outside with him. He let go of Frank’s hand only to fish his keys out of his coat pocket, turning back to the door to lock it. He knew it was kind of pointless to lock his doors since he lived so deep in the woods, but he just felt safer when he could feel the heavy slot of the bolt locking into place. Ever since that one night he tended to never leave his doors unlocked. But he wasn’t going to think about that. He was just going to think about how excited he was to take Frank on an actual date. He had been fantasizing about it for so long.

Almost every time he watched Frank at the library, he would daydream about taking Frank to his favorite little place he hadn’t been to in years. He couldn’t believe that it was actually finally happening. He couldn’t believe that the love of his _life_ was getting into his car right at that moment to go to that old diner that meant so much to him. He was happier than he had been in quite some time.

_________________________

The drive to the diner didn’t actually seem that long since they were both feeling pretty comfortable sitting there with each other. Sure, Frank still had the slight anxiety about going into public gnawing at his subconscious, but his excitement about getting out of the house seemed to overshadow it enough for him to deal with it.

Frank scanned over the small diner as they parked, getting a better look at it when they finally exited the car. It looked like it had been there for quite some time. The paint was a little faded and the neon signs were flickering and buzzing loudly, but it had a nice charm to it. It almost had some sort of surreal aura surrounding it. Like it wasn’t a place that truly existed. Maybe he only felt that way about it because he associated it with Gerard, and anything that had to do with Gerard was never really as it seemed.

Gerard’s cold fingers wrapped around Frank’s own, just rubbing over them and soaking in the other’s presence as he walked him towards the entrance of the restaurant. Gerard pushed open the door - the metallic finish on the long horizontal handle looked dull and rubbed off around one end. The oils from hundreds of previous hands wearing the finish down to expose the brass beneath the chrome.  As Frank watched Gerard’s long, slender fingers wrap around the dulled spot on the bar, the fleeting image of smaller hands grabbing at it flashed in his mind. He could almost see an excited little Gerard pushing into the restaurant with his little brother trailing behind.

The small bell tinkled a soft noise above their heads as they walked past the threshold of the empty restaurant. Their boots scuffed on the little placemat that had been placed just inside the door to wipe off any mud or debris they might track in. Frank could just barely make out the large ‘W’ and a ‘O E’ spread out over the surface, letting him know that it had spelled out ‘WELCOME’ at one point – or at least that’s what he _assumed_. He looked back up to Gerard when he felt him squeeze his hand, and he offered him a smile as he began to make his way towards a booth situated by one of the large windows. He had expected him to sit in a booth in the back where no one could really see them, but Gerard soon gave him an explanation without him even needing to ask.

“This is the booth me and Mikey used to sit at.” He stated fondly, scooting into the side that he had always sat in as he nodded at Frank to sit on the other side. It was odd for him to see someone _other_ than Mikey sitting there across from him there. There was an odd sense of melancholy settling over him as he smiled at Frank, trying to not let it get to him. He hadn’t been there since Mikey died, so no one could really blame him for feeling vaguely unhappy. Seeing Frank smile back at him with his lips stretched out wide and eyes bright definitely helped chase away any feelings of sorrow, so he felt like he was going to be okay.

Frank reached across the table hesitantly and held onto Gerard’s hand carefully, realizing that this must be causing him to feel some sort of heartache. It was weird to know that he was sitting where Gerard’s little brother used to. He could almost see a young Gerard sitting across from him with newly dyed black hair, laughing and joking around with his younger sibling as they waited to order their food. It was odd to think about. He wondered how Gerard had really been when he was younger. He just seemed so calm and stoic now, but sometimes Frank was able to get a glimpse past that. Sometimes Gerard was so loving towards him and seemed to have a playful side as well. Frank liked to think that that’s all Gerard used to be like. He liked to imagine that if he hadn’t been through that tragedy, that he would be a pretty goofy and upbeat kind of person.

There was a voice that suddenly broke through Frank’s little sense of nostalgia he was having for something that he hadn’t even experienced, and he turned to see a rather heavyset woman with brown curly hair and bright rosy cheeks standing at the end of the table.

“I’ll just have a glass of water.” Gerard answered the question that Frank had been too distracted to hear. “and _he_ will have the…” He gave Frank an expectant look, one of his eyebrows raised in question.

“I’ll have a water as well.” Frank said, politely smiling up at the woman.

“Alright sugars, I’ll get those drinks for you real quick and your waitress will be here with you shortly.” The woman said sweetly before leaning down close to them. “She’s a little late for her shift so I’m having to cover for her until she gets here.” She laughed, and it was obvious that she was one that was fond of gossiping. But she seemed to be very kindhearted from what Frank could see. Both Frank and Gerard gave her a little nod before she walked off, and Gerard picked up a menu to pass over to the younger man. He didn’t need to get one for himself since he already knew what he was going to have.

Frank took the menu and looked it over, nibbling on his bottom lip subconsciously as he went over his options. There was just so much that sounded good to him then. He didn’t know if he wanted to have a breakfast dish, or if he should just have a lunch item. He had never been too good at deciding what to eat, especially when someone else was buying the food for him. At least nothing on the menu seemed to be expensive – even though Frank knew that the money probably didn’t even matter to Gerard. “I don’t know what I should get…” He admitted as he laid the menu down in front of him, his thumbs flicking over the peeling corners of the plastic covers absently.

“Well…” Gerard said as he flipped through the upside-down menu. He then tapped on a picture of a simple cheeseburger and fries. “That’s what I’m getting. It’s what I’ve always gotten when I come here.” He hummed, speaking fondly.

Frank gave a little nod and reached to place the menu back in its little placeholder. “Then that’s what I’ll get as well.” He confirmed. He didn’t usually eat burgers too much, but he supposed that he should try it since it would give him a little idea of what a young Gerard used to eat.

Gerard had been about to reach for Frank’s hand when the woman returned with their waters and placed them in the way of him doing so, “Here you go.” She beamed as she wiped the condensation that had gotten on her hand onto her apron. “Abi – your waitress – just clocked in and she will be with you momentarily to take your orders.” She said before she left again, seeming to be more excited for them than _they_ were to finally get to order. Gerard didn’t mind that it was taking a little bit. He was just enjoying the time with Frank, and he was enjoying being in that diner again.

He had avoided going there since Mikey had died. It was always too painful. But now he had Frank. He had someone to help him and to remind him that there was still a reason for him to stay alive. He made a place that had been tainted by his brothers death happy for him again, which he never thought would be possible.

“Is it still there?” Gerard asked once they had been alone again for a few moments – nodding to the wall next to Frank.

Frank furrowed his brow and leaned back, scanning over the cream colored surface. “Is what still—“ That’s when Frank saw it, scrawled out just a few inches under the table in messy letters ‘MikEy’ was written. It was obvious by the odd capitalization and sloppy letters that it was written by someone rather young, but of course judging by the _name_ Frank was already able to tell who had written it. Fuck, Mikey had written that. Gerard’s little brother had sat there and written out his name on the wall of that old diner. “Wow…yeah…” He breathed, feeling a little awestruck. It was just so strange to see something that someone had made before they died, when they had no clue that their life would be ending so soon. “It’s still here.” Frank swallowed thickly and looked back up to Gerard.

The fond smile that curled on Gerard’s lips was tender and filled with affection as he clasped his hands under his chin and looked back at Frank. He was glad to know that his little brother hadn’t been erased from this place by the owners. “I had gotten on to him for doing that…” Gerard said with an airy chuckle and looked back down to his drink. “I told him that it wasn’t nice to draw on the walls, and that he could get in trouble for doing that.” Gerard recalled as Frank shifted to grab at his hand again. It had been starting to twitch again, but Gerard hadn’t even noticed.

Gerard squeezed Frank’s hand gently and tipped his head to the side. “He had gotten so upset. He was so scared that he was going to get in trouble.” He chuckled at the memory. “There had even been a fuckin’ cop in here too, sitting right over there at the bar.” Gerard said as one of his fingers extended in the direction of the empty bar with the faded and cracked barstools. Frank turned and glanced over the back of his booth to look. He could almost _see_ an officer sitting there with a newspaper and sipping at a cup of black coffee. “He thought I was going to tell on him and he was going to go to jail.” Gerard spoke again, making Frank turn back in his seat to look at the older man.

“Did he really?” Frank spoke on a soft laugh.

Gerard responded with a nod, his own laughter bubbling up as he shook his head. “Poor kid was practically shaking in that booth.” He hummed through his laughter. “I had to assure him that I wasn’t going to let that cop take him to jail, that I would take the fall for him if he got caught.”

Frank raised his eyebrows in amusement and took a sip of his drink. “How did _that_ work out?”

“He started crying about how he didn’t want me to go to jail for him. He didn’t want me to get in trouble for something he did.” Gerard answered, still smiling fondly. He hadn’t ever talked to anyone about Mikey before. He never trusted anyone to ever know about him. But he trusted Frank. He trusted him with everything. “So I just had to try to keep him calm until our food got here. After that he pretty much forgot about it all.” He chuckled, his heart fluttering when Frank giggled in return. It always made him feel a little flustered when he heard him laugh. It had to be one of the most beautiful things he had ever heard.

“I’m glad that you got him to calm down.” Frank chuckled. He felt like he could see Mikey squalling at his older brother and begging him not to go to prison for him.“When was that, anyway?” He asked after a moment of comfortable silence, making the other man look up at him with a pensive gaze.

“It was about…seventeen years ago, I think.” Gerard mumbled, scrubbing a hand over his jaw as he counted back the years to make sure that that was an accurate answer. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Frank furrowed his brow. That was nearly as old as _he_ was. If Gerard had been about around thirteen back then, what did that make him currently? “Seventeen years ago? How old are you _now_?”

Gerard was a little confused by that question at first. He had just assumed that Frank knew how old he was since he had always known _his_ age. “Oh, you don’t know how old I am?”

Frank shook his head. “No, actually…” He murmured. He didn’t look that old, though.

Gerard suddenly felt nervous to tell Frank his age. He knew it wasn’t really conventional for a thirty year old to be with someone that was only eighteen, but it’s not like he could lie to Frank about it. “I’m uh…I’m thirty years old, Frank.” He stated like it was some confession. Like he had done something wrong by being that age.

Frank’s brows lifted in slight surprise. Gerard was _thirty_? For some odd reason, Frank had just assumed that he was still in his twenties. That maybe he was twenty-five at the most. Sure…Gerard had a house and everything, but he had told him that he had gotten it built when he was around eighteen so he had just made the assumption that he was still pretty young.

Gerard nodded, tugging his lower lip between his teeth as he looked down to the surface of the table. “Is that… _weird_ for you?” He asked Frank as he began to pick at his nails as the nerves started to get to him.

Frank didn’t want to lie. He hadn’t ever really wanted to date anyone that was more than a couple of years older than him, but there were some ‘special’ circumstances involved with Gerard. “I’ll have to admit…It _is_ a little strange for me…” He murmured, looking up to Gerard and frowning when he saw how ashamed he looked. “B-but it’s not _bad_. Gee, it’s just not what I’m used to. I’ve only ever gone out with people my around my _own_ age.” He said. “But there’s a first time for everything.” He chuckled, trying to make light of it, but Gerard still seemed to appear to look guilty.

“Gerard, just- I swear it’s okay. It’s okay.” Frank insisted before he pushed himself up and leaned across the table, trying to be careful of their drinks as he reached for Gerard’s face and pulled him in for a gentle kiss. He could feel the delicate gasp of air getting pulled into the other man’s lungs in slight surprise, and Frank couldn’t help but smile as he pulled away. “See? It’s fine, I promise.” He assured him as he sat back down.

Gerard’s usually pale complexion was now accented with a soft pink dusting over his cheeks, the corners of his lips curling up in a small, nearly shy smile as he looked back at the younger man. He was immensely relieved to know that his age didn’t really bother Frank. It hadn’t really been a huge worry of his before because he hadn’t thought about it too much, but once Frank had brought it up it had caused him to realize that people Frank’s age didn’t tend to be with thirty year olds. It’s not that Gerard ever went after people that young anyways. He hadn’t really gone after _anyone_ actually. Frank was actually the first person he had ever really been _attracted_ to since everything happened to him. He was just so _perfect_. So so beautiful and gorgeous. He had taken a hold of Gerard like no one else was capable of. He had captivated him and put him under this strange spell that Gerard never wanted to break out of.

“I love you.” Gerard murmured after a moment, reaching his hand forward to cup Frank’s face gently. He dragged his thumb over his cheek affectionately, letting his warmth bleed into his fingertips and soothe him.

Frank leaned into Gerard’s cool touch, letting his eyes fall closed for just a moment. His dark lashes rested delicately upon his cheeks, contrasting starkly against his pale blush. It was so odd to think that not too long ago he would have recoiled from Gerard’s touches. He used to hate it when he put his hands on him, or when he tried to give him any sort of affection whether it be physical or verbal. He used to hate _Gerard_. It seemed crazy how different it was now. Hell, Frank had found out that Gerard was an actual _serial killer_ and he was still sitting there across from him, letting him kiss him and touch him whenever he wanted. All while he had the opportunity to escape and scream for help with out any difficulty. He could easily put Gerard in prison for all of the things that he had done, and he could be back home with his friends and his normal life in little to no time at all.

But Frank didn’t _want_ to do that. Sure, he missed Ray and Bob and he even missed his mom a little bit too, but he just…he couldn’t do that to Gerard. Gerard cared about him so much. He _loved_ him. He did absolutely anything he could to protect him and keep him safe, and he used every opportunity he could to show him that he cared about him. It meant so much to him. He had never had anyone care about him like that before. Not only that, but Frank cared about _Gerard_ too. He had grown to like him and he had even grown a little dependent on him.

“I like it when you tell me that…” Frank replied in a soft whisper, opening his eyes again to see Gerard’s soft gaze already looking right at him. Frank’s heart fluttered slightly at the sight.

Gerard grinned, moving his hand down from Frank’s face to hold his hand instead. “Really?”

Frank squeezed Gerard’s hand and nodded. “Yeah, I just…even though I don’t say it back, I still really like to hear it from you. And I really uhm, I really care about you, and I _like_ you a-a lot… I know it’s not the same but—“

Gerard shook his head fondly. “Frank, I told you that you don’t need to say it back if you’re not ready.” He interrupted him. He meant that. While it would be nice to hear it back for once, he knew that it would take some time for Frank to feel comfortable actually returning those three words. He knew that he would though. He knew that Frank would love him back. “I mean it, alright? I’m just glad to know that you care about me, and that you _like_ me.” He giggled at that last part, smiling at Frank teasingly. He had sounded like a kid in middle school telling their crush that they _like liked_ them.

“Oh, shut up, Gerard. I guess I’m just never gonna tell you that ever again if you’re going to just make fun of me.” Frank huffed, pouting almost childishly, which _certainly_ wasn’t helping his case.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Baby.” Gerard cooed playfully and reached up to pinch Frank’s cheek. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” He chuckled.

Frank batted Gerard’s hand away from himself and narrowed his eyes. “You’re an ass.” He grumbled jokingly, a smile teasing at his lips to show that he was just messing around. He liked when he could just play around with Gerard. It wasn’t all the time, but it made him feel more _equal_ to Gerard, instead of feeling like he was levels below him.

“I never said that I _wasn’t_.” Gerard laughed, his smile reaching his eyes and causing the fine wrinkles to appear at the outer corners of them.

A scoff was exhaled from Frank’s lungs before he began to laugh as well. This really was nice. He was genuinely having an amazing time there with Gerard. He had been so worried that he would be freaking out about being in public and out of Gerard’s house, but luckily the place was empty besides them.  Eventually their laughter tittered off and they were left sitting in a comfortable silence, just sipping at their waters as Gerard nudged Frank’s foot with his own – just as a way to keep contact with him.

“Sorry I took so long to get to you, darling’s.” A delicate voice interrupted their loving version of a staring contest. Both of the men turned to look up to see a rather young woman, probably around Frank’s age. She had silken blonde hair that was pulled up into a high ponytail, her lips cherry red and glossy and eyes a deep brown that almost glowed with the way the sun from the window reflected off the little golden flecks in her irises. She had a smile that was warm and honey sweet and absolutely stunning lashes that framed her playful eyes elegantly. She was beautiful – strikingly so – and Gerard _hated_ her.

Gerard didn’t find her attractive, per se, as it would be hard for him to since he was only into men – well, only into _Frank_ -  but he could tell that she was a good-looking individual compared to most women. Normally he wouldn’t care. Normally he wouldn’t even give her a second glance or ever think of her until she came up to their table again. But _normally_ he was _alone_. Now he had Frank with him, and he couldn’t help but see a resemblance between this girl, and quite a few of the girls that he had seen Frank take home with him.

“That’s alright.” Gerard heard Frank respond, and he watched the boy smile at her. It almost seemed like it was a real smile. One that reached his eyes. It made Gerard feel sick when it wasn’t directed at _him_. He felt rage boiling in his veins, venom replacing his blood as he clenched his jaw and stared up at the waitress.

“What can I get for you two?” The girl – Abi, apparently, as it also stated so on her nametag – asked sweetly, poising her pen in preparation to write down their orders on the little notepad she was carrying. She was still looking at Frank, not even paying Gerard any attention. Though Gerard couldn’t care less. He only wanted _Frank’s_ attention.

Frank smiled again. He had noticed how pretty she was too. It would have been impossible for him _not_ to. She was radiating beauty, seeming to easily captivating nearly anyone that looked at her, but for some odd reason, Frank just…wasn’t interested in her. It was strange to him because she looked like all of the other girls he usually went for, but then he looked over at Gerard, and it hit him. He wasn’t interested in her, because while she _was_ beautiful, she didn’t even come _close_ to comparing to Gerard’s eccentric beauty. “I’ll just have a burger and some fries.” Frank answered her finally, a polite smile poised on his lips as he looked back to her.

 “That’s an excellent choice, sugar.” She hummed, placing a hand on Frank’s shoulder briefly before she began to scribble out Frank’s order in neat handwriting. That was the moment that Gerard wanted her _dead_. He wanted to see her strapped to the chair in his basement all cut open and bloody. No one was allowed to touch Frank. She finally turned to face Gerard after that, her demeanor turning ridged and almost frightened when she saw the way Gerard was staring her down with fiery eyes. “A-and what about you, sir?” She stammered slightly as her façade of being a sweet southern belle slipped for a moment.

Gerard had to work to unclench his jaw, his fingers wrapped so tight around his glass that his already pale knuckles were stark white. “I’ll just have the same thing as him, _sweetheart_.” He nearly sneered at her, his teeth baring in a vicious smile.

The waitress nodded at him quickly, too afraid to say anything else to him. “Okay, I’ll be right out with your food.” She said when she turned back to Frank, offering him a playful wink before turning back and walking towards the kitchen. Gerard nearly felt dizzy with anger, his whole body feeling like it was on fire. He felt the familiar pain in his stomach, just twisting his insides around and growing worse by the second.

Frank finally turned to look back at Gerard again, noticing how upset he looked. “Are you okay, Gerard?” He asked with concern, his brows tugging together as he reached across the table, holding his hand out for the older man to take.

Gerard cleared his throat and pried his fingers away from his glass to take Frank’s hand in his own. “I’m okay, Baby.” He whispered, deciding to not tell Frank about how he had been imagining that girls violent demise. “Just thinking about things…”

Frank figured that it was best not to ask exactly _what_ things he was thinking about, and he just nodded at him. He figured that he must be thinking about his brother again. “Oh, alright.” He smiled, squeezing his hand in an attempt to comfort him.

Gerard’s fingers squeezed back. Even though Frank didn’t seem to get the real reason why he was feeling upset, it really did help to feel is hand in his own. It was like putting ice on a burn, the cool temperature soothing the angry heat as it seeped deeper and deeper, causing the pain to dissipate. He loved how effortless it was for Frank to ease him. “You know you’re all mine…right? You know that you belong to _me_.” He asked suddenly, just needing to reassure himself.

“O-oh…” Frank’s eyebrows raised and he felt his stomach flutter oddly once he was reminded of how possessive Gerard was of him. “Y-yeah.” He whispered. He supposed that he really _did_ belong to Gerard to some extent now. Maybe not by _his choice_ …but it had happened.

“And you like it, right? I take good care of you?” Gerard continued to question. He stroked his thumb over the side of Frank’s hand gently as he tugged his lower lip between his teeth.

Frank nodded. Despite the fact that Frank had been taken away from his normal life and that Gerard had occasionally roughed him up a little when he misbehaved, he also did a lot to take care of him. Hell, he had _killed_ a guy for him. Frank tried not to think about how Gerard probably would have found someone else to kill had Randal not taken him. “Yeah, you take good care of me, Gerard.” Frank assured him as he gave his hand another squeeze.

“Good.” Gerard smiled gently, his eyes softening as he looked down at their intertwined hands. “That’s all I want.” He whispered, tugging Frank’s hand up so he could kiss at his knuckles.

Frank exhaled a soft noise and looked down at the table, his skin tingling wherever Gerard pressed his lips. It was nice to hear how much Gerard cared for him. He wasn’t used to hearing people say that to him.

They sat there quietly again as they waited for their food, just mindlessly chattering about different little things that have happened at the diner and what things have changed – which turned out wasn’t actually that much. Gerard had joked about how the light bulbs were probably the newest things in the place, and even _those_ were dingy and flickering.

Soon their food was finally brought to them by a timid looking Abi. It appeared that Gerard frightened her a little bit, but that’s exactly how he wanted it. He wanted that girl to be wary of being around him, because if she was around _him_ then she was also around _Frank_ , and he didn’t like that. She seemed to scurry away after that with her tail tucked between her legs, leaving them to be alone again.

It was nice. Just sitting there at his favorite diner with Frank, eating the same thing he always had. The burger tasted exactly how he remembered it. It wasn’t perfect, but it never had been. That’s what he loved about it. His parents always insisted on he and Mikey only having the best of everything. They never liked it when they were wasting any of their money in a ratty little place like the diner. It aggravated them to no end when he would take Mikey there nearly every week. The other upside to the place was that Mikey had actually been quite fond of the chicken tenders they sold there. He said it was better than any of the fancy restaurants they had ever been to. So there were a number of things compelling Gerard to continue eating there.

Frank actually really liked his burger, but then again, he didn’t have much better to compare it to. He was just used to fast food burgers. He smiled as he ate, just daydreaming and thinking of how in another alternate timeline maybe he and Gerard could have been friends if they had been the same age. He could imagine his thirteen year olds self sitting there with a young Mikey and Gerard, just laughing and goofing around. He wondered if Gerard would have been interested being in his band. Could Gerard even play anything? Who knew…it was just a fantasy anyways.

They were both mostly quiet while they ate, with the occasional little chatter and sweet touches of the hands. Sometimes there was even a little nudge of their feet bumping into each other playfully. It was probably one of the nicest dates Frank had ever been on, and Frank was actually a little sad when they got finished with their food. In the short time that he had been there, he had grown quite fond of the diner. It had such a nice little charm to it, and it almost felt as though _he_ had been going there his whole life too. It was like Gerard’s experiences were bleeding into his own, making him feel the same way about certain things. It was odd…but it was actually a little interesting as well.

“So, are you ready to go?” Gerard asked with a tilt of his head, bringing Frank out of another one his little dazes.

“Hm?” Frank murmured before he registered his words. “Oh, yeah. But um…before we leave I kinda have to…”

Gerard furrowed his brow, leaning close as one of his shaped eyebrows raised in inquiry. “You have to…what?”

“I have to _go_.” Frank mumbled as he looked down at his lap, putting extra inflection on the last word so Gerard would understand what he was implying.

“Ohh…” Gerard chuckled before nodding towards the small bathroom on the other side of the room. “Well the bathroom is right over there.” He informed him.

Frank cleared his throat, eyeing the single unisex bathroom at the corner of the diner. He knew that they were going to be out all day, so he knew that it would be better in the long run if he just went now, but he just felt a little anxious about it. Sure, it was a single person bathroom and there was a clear view from it from the table, but he found himself felling rather uncomfortable at the prospect of being that far from Gerard in a public place. It was pathetic. He hated that he felt that way. He hated that he was so codependent on the older man. He used to be so confident with everything he did. He used to fucking walk home by himself at night. But now he was scared to go to the bathroom in a tiny diner by himself. An exasperated sigh escaped him and he slid his fingers through his hair, making it obvious to Gerard that he was uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to come stand outside of the door while you go?” Gerard offered, his voice soft and caring.

“That makes me sound like I’m a _child_.” Frank groaned as he leaned his head back against the seat, his eyes slipping closed for a moment.

“I don’t have to stand right outside, okay?” Gerard sighed. “I can just stay here and keep an eye on the door until you get out.”

Frank exhaled noisily and shrugged. “Okay, okay…that sounds good.” He finally agreed. He could do that. Gerard would just be right there and he wouldn’t have to worry. And since Gerard would be sitting at the table and not hanging by the door, it wouldn’t make him feel as feeble and unable to take care of himself.

“Alright, good.” Gerard smiled, patting his hand down on the table briefly before standing up. “While you’re in the bathroom I’m going to pay for this.” He explained, watching as Frank stood up as well. “I should be done before you get out.” He said - Frank nodding at him and sidestepping out of the booth before shuffling off towards the restroom, leaving Gerard to go up to the register to pay for their meal.

Frank stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, glancing down at his shirt as he wiped his hands off on the fabric. He glanced up to see Gerard looking at him from the table, and he felt the tension melt from his shoulders almost instantaneously. It was like his gaze swathed him in comfort, keeping him warm and safe and protected. Frank smiled at him, which earned him a little wave and grin in return. He had been halfway to the table when a soft voice called out behind him, causing him to turn around in curiosity. He was a little surprised to see their waitress standing there with a coy smile poised on her lips, her hands behind her back as she sort of turned back and forth to make her skirt sway with the movement.

“Oh, um…hello…” Frank said politely, briefly looking back to Gerard as the girl stepped closer to him. Gerard certainly didn’t look happy anymore.

“Hi.” The girl whispered bashfully, her hands moving in front of her to fiddle with her little apron. She seemed to be just a tad bit more shy now that she didn’t have her usual script she used when she took someone’s order. “H-how was the food?” She asked softly, her dainty fingers wringing the slightly stained fabric of the apron as she looked up at Frank.

Frank looked down at himself, his heart hammering in his chest as he spent more and more time away from Gerard. It’s not that this girl was saying anything to make him uncomfortable. She was actually very sweet and obviously very timid when it came to talking to people she was attracted to. “Oh, it was good. It was good.” Frank repeated, his fingers tapping slightly against his thigh as he felt tension growing inside of him. Before he met Gerard, he had always been so smooth when talking to a girl that was interested in him. He practically _oozed_ confidence – giving sly smiles and discreet little touches that were strategically placed. But now he was just a stammering _mess_.

“That’s good.” Abi replied, one of her hands lifting up to tease at her ponytail for a moment. “So um…n-normally I don’t uh..I don’t do this.” She admitted as he looked back down to the floor. She had a sweet delicate blush tinting her cheeks as she reached for her little yellow pad from her apron pocket. “But I was wondering if I could give you my um…number…”

Frank cleared his throat, his voice seeming to be caught as he tried to think of a polite way to let her down. But suddenly was Gerard pressed himself up against Frank’s back, his arms snaking around his waist and tugging him close to his chest.

Gerard felt Frank’s body jerk, his startled squeak reaching his ears as he leaned in to press a kiss to the back of his neck. “It’s just me, my dear.” He cooed smoothly.

As soon as he heard Gerard’s gentle voice, Frank practically melted back against his chest. He immediately felt so much relief as Gerard’s strong arms embraced him. He felt protected. “O-oh, hey.” Frank whispered, turning his attention to the older man.

Gerard smiled gently down at Frank. “Hey, beautiful.” He cooed lovingly, glancing up to see Abi staring at them with a perplexed gaze before leaning down and shoving his mouth against Frank’s in a firm kiss. Their lips slotted together, Gerard moving his mouth slowly as he coaxed Frank’s open gently. He turned him in his arms, tugging him to press up against him as he deepened the kiss. He could feel Frank’s hands tentatively sliding up to twist in the fabric of his shirt as he licked into his mouth, which only spurred him on to continue. But he couldn’t allow himself to get too heated. He knew that if he got too into it then he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from taking it further. As soon as Gerard felt the vibrations of a moan slip out of Frank’s mouth, he pulled away and sighed, his eyes dropping down to Frank’s slick lips.

Once the kiss ended, Frank was ricocheted back to the reality of where he was. He quickly looked back to their waitress, his face beet red as he flushed with embarrassment, but Gerard was feeling quite the opposite. He felt so smug and self-satisfied. He felt like he had just marked his claim on Frank right in front of her. Now she would know that Frank was _his_. “So, what were you two talking about?” He asked, even though he already had a pretty good idea.

Frank’s face heated up faintly, his eyes falling down to the floor for a moment as he bit down on his lip. He knew he couldn’t lie to Gerard. “She was just wanting to give me her number…” Frank answered truthfully, looking back up at the older man.

“Oh, is that _so_?” Gerard questioned, his eyes narrowing at the girl as he tightened his arms around Frank’s waist, pulling him closer.

Abi looked just as flustered as Frank and she kept tripping over her words as he struggled to speak. “O-oh gosh, oh my goodness, Sir I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She babbled, stuffing her little notepad back in her pocket as she took a step back. The way Gerard was looking at her frightened her right to her core. “I didn’t know you two were _together_. P-please forgive me.” She begged. She honestly hadn’t known. She felt terrible that she had tried to make a move on this guys boyfriend. But he seemed to be a lot older than the other boy was. She had thought that maybe he was just his older brother or maybe even his dad or uncle. She was actually a little worried that this guy was going to hurt her. He certainly looked like he could.

Gerard began to run his fingers through Frank’s hair possessively, almost as if he were showing off that he was able to touch Frank in a way _she_ would never get to.. “Mmm, fine.” He huffed. He really didn’t want to just let the girl off the hook like that, but he wanted to get on with his day and he was certain that Frank would appreciate that he didn’t freak out. “You need to learn to be more careful though. Some people might not be as forgiving as I’m being right now.” He warned, smiling maliciously at her as she nodded fervently and finally scurried away again after apologizing a few more times. Gerard then turned his gaze back down to Frank who had been quiet since he felt uneasy, and his smile softened to be more loving and affectionate. “Are you ready to go now, Sweetheart?”

Frank looked up at Gerard and made a gentle noise in the back of his throat. “Yeah, I’m ready to go.” He murmured. He felt so _weird_. Gerard had just given him the most possessive kiss he could ever remember being on the receiving end of, which in all honestly had been…kind of hot. It had even gotten just him just a tad bit _excited_ too. He never really thought that he was into public displays of affection, but there was just something new and exhilarating about how Gerard had basically manhandled him in front of that girl and pretty much claimed him. Fuck, he shouldn’t think too much into it. He didn’t want to ruin his mood thinking about how unhealthy it was for Gerard to act that way.

“Alright.” Gerard said happily, his hands sliding down to Frank’s hips before finally falling off of him. He began to guide him to the door before they started to pass the table they had eaten at. “Just hold on, one second.” Gerard paused at the booth they had been sitting in. He ran his fingers over the back of the seat, tapping on the cracking vinyl with an affectionate gaze. “I miss you, Mikes.” He mumbled softly, tugging his lower lip between his teeth as he tried not to get too overwhelmed. He then turned away, not wanting to get overemotional and spoil his and Frank’s day out. Gerard cleared his throat, feeling a little choked up as he stepped back to Frank and grabbed his hand. He was so glad that he had him. He didn’t know where he would be if he wasn’t in his life.

Frank pressed himself close to Gerard’s side as they started to walk again, having seen how forlornly he had observed Mikey’s old seat. He couldn’t imagine losing someone he was that close to. He wondered if he would have ended up like Gerard…

Frank listened to the little bell above the door chime again as it was pulled open, and he braced himself for the cold air. Gerard kept his arm wrapped securely around Frank’s torso as he walked him to the car, partly because he was feeling rather possessive of him at the moment, and partly because he wanted to keep him protected from the frigid air that threatened to nip at their skin. “Did you enjoy our date?” He asked once they reached the car, his fingers giving Frank a gentle squeeze as he opened his door for him.

Frank smiled at Gerard and offered him an earnest nod. “I really did. It means a lot that you took me here.” He answered. He stood up on the tips of his toes briefly to press a tentative kiss to Gerard’s cheek to add emphasis to his statement, and he breathed a delicate giggle at the look of pleasant surprise that shown on the other man’s face.

Gerard’s own smile spread on his lips, showing off his teeth as he wrapped Frank up in a tight embrace. “Have I ever told you that I love it when you laugh?” He asked quietly. He heard Frank try to respond, but it came out as a muffled sound since his face was pressed up against Gerard’s chest. “What was that?” He chuckled.

Frank pulled his head back and smiled up at Gerard brightly, his cheeks and nose tinted pink from the cold air, or maybe it was because he seemed to always be a little flustered when he was around Gerard. “I don’t think you have.” He repeated, this time much more clearly.

“Oh, well I truly do.” Gerard hummed as he smiled down at Frank. “It’s beautiful. I’m certain it outshines the singing of the angels.” He praised, his smile widening when it caused Frank to giggle bashfully. “See?” He chuckled. “So gorgeous…”

Frank shook his head before burying it back in Gerard’s chest, breathing a noise of embarrassment. Gerard was being too sweet to him. He had never been too good at taking genuine compliments “Whatever…” Frank mumbled once he pulled away, though a tiny grin was teasing the corners of his lips upwards.

“You’re so cute when you get all shy.” Gerard grinned as one of his hands lifted up to cup Frank’s face carefully. Even though Frank’s skin was freezing, it still felt warm beneath Gerard’s cool fingertips. He adored it when the boy got all flustered. He just seemed so precious and Gerard loved that he was the one that was able to make him feel that way. He remembered that not too long ago he had been so desperate to capture Frank’s attention. He had craved for him to notice him. His whole body had _ached_ for it - hurt for it. But now he had him there. He was able to reach forward and _touch_ him whenever he wanted. It made him feel so _happy_. It made him actually want to be _alive_.

Frank huffed and cleared his throat, trying to keep himself from acting too much like shy and bashful little virgin. “I’m cold.” He complained after a moment to change the subject, his eyes falling over to the open car door. He wanted to get inside and crank the heat up high enough until it felt like his skin was melting off of his bones.

Gerard pulled back, an amused grin teasing at the corners of his lips as he exhaled a short laugh. “Go ahead and get inside, Frankie.” He insisted, his hand sliding over Frank’s back as he guided him into the car. He shut the door for him once he was situated and walked over to the drivers side.

“So…are we still going to the store?” Frank asked when Gerard got inside and started the car, his eyes falling down to watch as Gerard’s slender fingers tugged the seatbelt over himself.

“Yeah, we’re still going.” Gerard confirmed as one of his hands moved to rest over Frank’s thigh. Frank couldn’t help but notice how large it appeared in comparison to his own. Gerard’s hands were rougher and more matured - obviously very strong too. His fingers slid upwards on his leg, causing Frank to shift his thighs apart slowly as if Gerard had somehow programmed him to respond to his touches that way.

“That’s uh…that’s good. I’m glad.” Frank whispered, his voice a little more breathy than usual, which of course Gerard noticed. It had come to Frank’s realization that Gerard noticed _everything_ about him.

A furtive smile teased at the corners of Gerard’s lips as he quirked an eyebrow up, a low hum rumbling deep inside of his chest as he teased his fingers up higher. “Mmm yeah…me too.” He breathed before retracting his hand and moving it back to the steering wheel.

Frank exhaled a soft breath when Gerard pulled his hand away, unsure if he should feel relieved or disappointed. But he supposed it was for the best since he didn’t want to have to deal with getting turned on on the way to the store. Frank sighed and leaned his head against the window, much like he did the first time he was in that car, but luckily he didn’t have a splitting headache like he had then. And this time he wasn’t scared of Gerard anymore…

_________________________

They pulled up to the mall after about thirty minutes of driving, the radio turned on low as music crackled through the old speakers. Gerard turned to look at Frank, his expression silently asking if Frank was okay with going out there. Frank gave a little nod of confirmation, his fingers pressing down on the release button to his seatbelt. “You’re going to behave for me, right? This place is a lot more crowded than the diner was and I need you to stay extra close to me.”

“Yes, Sir. I promise to behave.” Frank answered easily, the words no longer feeling so foreign on his tongue.

A proud grin split over Gerard’s features, and Frank was becoming a little fond of making the other man so pleased with him. “Good boy.” Gerard commended as leaned across the middle consol of the car to give Frank a gentle peck.

After finally getting out of the car and getting themselves pressed together again, they walked up towards the entrance of the mall. They made their way into a few different stores to find clothes for Frank, finding a nice leather jacket that Gerard insisted the younger boy try on, and once he had seen it on him he then felt extremely compelled to buy it for him – so he did. He got a few shirts for him as well, some of them t-shirts, while he also got a few long-sleeved shirts and sweaters just because it was so cold out. He then noticed that Frank kept eyeing the store that carried a lot of hair products, and he began to pull him towards it.

“What are we doing?” Frank asked as he was tugged into the store.

Gerard breathed a little hum and looked down at him. “I noticed you kept looking in here, so I figured you might want to get something. And I remember you talking about wanting to touch up your roots this morning…” He explained and brought Frank towards the selection of hair dye.

“I thought you said I didn’t need it.” Frank joked before looking down with a small smile. “But you’re right…I wanted to come in here.” He chuckled as he looked back up to Gerard with a sweet grin spreading over his face.

“Oh, you know I meant it when I said that.” Gerard huffed as he playfully reached up to ruffle Frank’s hair. “So, what are you wanting to get? Do you need some more bleach for your sides?”

“Yeah, and I need some more black for the whole—“ Frank motioned over the longer hairs of his faux hawk. “You know?”

Gerard nodded, letting Frank pick out the different things he needed while scanning over the different shades and colors of dye. Gerard pursed his lips and picked out a little box that caught his eye and looked it over. It was a nice, deep red, and Gerard immediately loved the color. He held the box up to Frank and shook it a little to get his attention. “Why don’t you get this?”

Frank raised an eyebrow and took the box from Gerard, glancing at the color. “Really?” He asked. “Do you think that would look good?”

Gerard was already nodding before Frank finished his sentence. “Oh yes, I think it would look _amazing_. You could just do the sides that are already bleached and leave the top and back part black.” He suggested, reaching his fingers forward to slide through the blond part of Frank’s hair, his nails scratching at the skin gently.

Frank leaned into the touch, his eyes slipping shut as he just basked in the pleasurable sensation. “Okay.” He whispered, his eyes fluttering open as he felt the man’s hand slide down to cup his cheek affectionately. “As long as you’re the one that does the work, because I think it feels nice when you run your fingers through my hair like that.”

Gerard made a small cooing noise and tugged Frank forward so he could kiss the top of his head. “Oh, I would _love_ to, Frankie.” He hummed.

After they got finished purchasing the hair dye that they would need, they walked around the rest of the stores and continued to buy a few more things for Frank to wear. It all went pretty smoothly until they were looking at some pants, and Frank turned to look behind him.

His heart suddenly felt like it sank into his stomach like a stone with fear. Gerard wasn’t there. Gerard wasn’t behind him anymore. Where had he gone? Why had he left him? Gerard had _promised_ he wouldn’t leave him. Frank felt fear pumping through his veins like the venom from a snake, corroding his veins and constricting his heart. He felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore, his throat closing up on itself as he spun around and searched for Gerard’s familiar face in the sea of the unknown. “G-Gerard?” He called out, his voice strangled and broken as he stumbled a little from how shaky his legs felt. “ _Gerard!_ ” He choked, feeling hopeless and lost until suddenly he felt someone’s arms wrap around him. Frank screamed loudly, his arms shoving at the assailant as he tried to start running away, but the other person was too fast. They caught him by his wrist and spun him around. That’s when Frank’s eyes were met with a piercing hazel gaze that he had become familiar with, and he suddenly collapsed into Gerard’s arms. It turned out that during his panic, he hadn’t been able to really hear the way Gerard had been calling out for him.

“Frank, Jesus, what’s wrong? What happened to you?” Gerard asked in a soft voice, his hand’s lifting to cup Frank’s cheeks and stroke over his soft skin. “Why did you start to run away?”

Frank looked up at Gerard, his touch soothing him, but he was still incredibly shaken up. Adrenaline was still coursing through him as he trembled against Gerard’s chest. “I-I turned—I turned around and—“ Frank hiccupped a pathetic sound before he began to sob, just feeling an overwhelming clash of fear and relief fighting to be more prominent than the other. “I d-didn’t see you.”

Gerard felt his heart clench painfully, seeing Frank obviously so upset causing his stomach to hurt a little. He felt his fingers twitch as they wiped at Frank’s tears and he shook his head. “I had just moved to the other side of you, Frank. I was right there. I wouldn’t ever leave you.” He promised as he glanced around. People were beginning to look at them since Frank had been screaming and was now crying against him, and Gerard had never been comfortable when too many people watched him. It made him feel vulnerable since he wasn’t able to stare back at everyone all at once, so there would always be someone looking at him that he couldn’t see. “Just- come on, sweetheart,” Gerard whispered as he began to walk Frank out of the store and towards the mall restrooms, their bags still looped over his arms. “Let’s go to a restroom so we can have a little more privacy, alright?” He wasn’t just taking him there for _himself_. He was also taking into account that Frank probably didn’t want people to see him crying the way he was.

Frank of course, eagerly agreed and kept his head down as he walked with Gerard towards the restrooms. He kept himself pressed right up against Gerard’s side, his fingers slipping into the man’s belt loop as a way to keep hold of him. It helped him feel a little better that Gerard’s arm was wrapped securely around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry…” Frank whispered when they reached the bathroom.

Gerard furrowed his brow and turned back to Frank after sitting the bags down and checking the stalls – luckily finding them to be empty. “Why are you sorry?” He asked softly, the slight echo of his boots scuffing against the tiled floor reverberating in the small room as he stepped closer to Frank.

Frank cast his gaze down to the floor in shame and humiliation, his little sniffle sounding much too loud in the quiet room as he shrugged. “For freaking out and making a scene.” He replied, still feeling a little worked up.

Gerard shook his head and wrapped his arms around Frank gently, just looping them around his waist. “Frankie…you don’t have to feel bad for doing that, alright?” He said reassuringly. “I’m just glad everything’s okay.”

Frank whimpered and nuzzled up against Gerard’s throat, wanting to keep his face hidden. He always felt safer there. If he closed his eyes then he could just imagine that he was back at Gerard’s house with him, all safe and concealed away from people who wanted to hurt him. “I-I just got so scared…” He whispered against Gerard’s skin. He didn’t miss the way the older man’s fingers flexed against him from that. “I was so a-afraid that someone else would get me, and when- when you grabbed me I thought…” Frank exhaled and shook his head, his voice dropping to just barely even a whisper, but Gerard’s ears were still able to pick up what he said next. “I thought you were Randal…”

Gerard’s blood felt like it turned to acid at the mention of that wretched man’s name. He closed his eyes, his lips forming into a flat line as he tried to keep himself from reacting violently like he usually would. He needed to stay calm. He couldn’t freak out when he was trying to pacify Frank’s worries. “You don’t have to think about him anymore, okay?” Gerard said as he pulled back a little. He wanted to focus on Frank’s delicate features instead of the ugly images of Randal that were flickering in his mind. “He’s _dead_.”

Frank looked up at Gerard, and he realized that hearing Gerard remind him of that made him feel _safe_. He never had to worry about that man hurting him again all because Gerard had taken drastic measures to make sure of that. “I-I know…” Frank whispered, not wanting to really get into any of the details of that again. It never seemed to go that well when they tried to discuss it. “Thank you…” He said instead. He wasn’t okay with Gerard killing people, but he felt like if anyone had deserved it, then it had been Randal.

A wide smile graced Gerard’s lips. He hadn’t expected to get a _thank you_ from Frank, but he really appreciated it. It made him feel better about what he had done. Sure, Frank was only talking about him killing _Randal_ , but it was just another step closer to his goal. Soon Frank wouldn’t even care about what he did. “Of course. You know that I would do _anything_ for you, sweetheart.” He cooed softly, his hands moving to slide down and rest on Frank’s hips.

Frank nodded and wiped his face, feeling so embarrassed now that the initial panic had finally worn off. He had acted just like a child who had lost their parent in the store. God, he had even _cried_. He just wanted to get out of there and finish shopping. He didn’t want to be there anymore.

“Can we go finish now?” Frank asked after a moment.

“Yeah, let’s go ahead and finish up.” Gerard hummed. He didn’t really feel too keen on spending anymore time in that restroom anyways. Though it had been nice to have a few minutes alone with Frank, even if it had been spent comforting him. But that’s what Gerard wanted. He had always wanted to be able to be there for Frank whenever he needed him. He had wanted to be able to take care of him and love him and just do anything to keep him happy. It also made him feel pretty good that Frank had gotten so freaked out when he couldn’t find him. It let him know just how dependent he had become of him. It showed that he was growing to be more reliant on Gerard’s presence, which is exactly what Gerard had wanted.

Once they got back to the store they had been in before they rushed off to the bathroom, Gerard walked Frank back over to the pants and grabbed a few pairs for Frank to wear. He picked out mostly some black pairs with the exception of some standard blue jeans, and he figured that it would be enough for now. So Gerard finally paid for everything and gathered their bags once again to begin walking out of the mall.

When they reached the car, Gerard opened his trunk before  making an almost startled face. “What is it?” Frank asked as he started to peek around Gerard to take a look at what he was staring at.

Gerard quickly slammed it shut before Frank could get a look inside and he shook his head. “It’s nothing.” He answered. He had forgotten about how much blood had gotten all over his trunk from when he had kept Randal in it. “Let’s just put the bags in the back seat instead.” He proposed, but Frank was still curious.

“What’s back there?” He asked as he began to reach for the handle for the trunk.

Gerard quickly snatched at Frank’s wrist and pulled his hand away. “Frank, you need to learn that when I tell you something, you have to _listen_.” He reminded him sternly, shocking him into silence before his grip on him softened and he sighed. Frank always looked so frightened when he spoke to him like that, and that’s not what he wanted. “It’s just…that’s where I kept… _him_ when I brought him over.” He explained, glossing over his name because it always left a bad taste in his mouth when he said it. “So it’s just a little uh… _messy_ and I didn’t want you to have to see that.”

“O-oh…” Frank murmured as he watched Gerard walk back over to the back door of the car. He guessed he was glad that Gerard had stopped him from opening the trunk. He supposed that he should be a lot more careful about just poking around in Gerard’s things without permission first. “I’m sorry, I’ll do better with listening.” He said obediently, his head dipping down in a submissive manner. He remembered that there was a time when he wouldn’t ever listen to Gerard. Frank used to always go against him. He used to curse and spit at him, but now he only acted like his _pet_. It certainly didn’t help when Gerard ran his fingers through his hair and called him a _good boy_ as he began to put the bags away.

As Gerard loaded the bags up, he pulled out the new leather jacket he had bought for Frank and he held it up. “You should wear this.” He smiled.

Frank glanced at it before looking down at the one he was currently wearing. “Why can’t I just keep _this_ one on?” He asked, not trying to seem like he was just questioning Gerard’s choices. He liked wearing Gerard’s old jacket. It was really warm and had that smell of old leather with a hint of the other man. He didn’t want to trade it out just yet.

“Oh, Frankie, come on.” Gerard insisted as he began to take the tags off of the jacket. “That one is much too big on you. Besides, I want to see you wearing this. It looked so good on you inside the store.” He murmured as he began to reach over to unzip his old jacket off of Frank’s shoulders. “I’ll still let you wear this one sometimes, of course. I just want to see you wearing the new one for a little bit.” He promised, and that finally seemed to be enough to make Frank switch the articles of clothing.

Once it was placed on him and zipped up, Gerard slid his hands over the front of Frank’s chest and up over his shoulders, smoothing his fingers over the rough material with a pleased noise. “ _There_ we go.” He nearly purred. “God, you look so good in this.” Gerard dragged his gaze over Frank’s body, obviously checking him out.

 Frank’s face flushed deeply and he shoved his hands into the pockets of them, finding a little packet of silica gel inside of one of them. He left it in there for now since he was too distracted by the way Gerard was practically _eye fucking_ him to pull it out. “U-uhm…thanks.” He shrugged, kicking a little at the ground bashfully.

“Mmm, you’re very welcome, pretty boy.” Gerard hummed as he pulled his hands off of him to gently tap his nose. He couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to be standing there in front of the most beautiful person in the world. He didn’t think that he would ever really get over it. Gerard leaned forward and pecked Frank’s lips briefly, keeping it short because if it was any longer then Gerard might not be able to keep his hands off of Frank. “Alright, lets get in the car now. There’s one more thing we need to do today.” He instructed, shutting the back of the car and moving to open Frank’s door for him.

“What?” Frank asked. “ What else are we doing?” Gerard hadn’t mentioned doing anything else, had he?

“Just get in the car and you’ll find out.” Gerard answered indistinctly, and Frank really didn’t have any other options but to listen to him.

_________________________

Gerard reached for Frank’s hand once he got out of the car, using his other hand to shut his door for him before using the little key fob to lock it – his car chirping as it was secured. “What are we doing now?” Frank questioned as he stood close to Gerard’s side, his head tilting up to meet his eyes.

Gerard turned to gaze down at Frank, his fingers loosening around his in favor of snaking his arm around his waist instead. “I’m just taking you to one more little place.” He replied as he gave Frank’s side an affectionate squeeze.

Frank frowned a little at Gerard’s vague answer and looked down at the sidewalk as they began to walk down the street alongside each other. It was really starting to get dark now – the sun already dipping  past the horizon and painting the sky a hazy grey. The air was colder now. The sun was no longer bathing the earth in its radiance, instead allowing the bleak sky to suck the warmth from the ground beneath them. “Do we really have to _walk_ there?” Frank shivered slightly, his small body beginning to tremble from the lack of heat.

Gerard pursed his lips briefly, feeling them becoming chapped from being exposed to the dry autumn air. “Yes, we really do.” He answered after a moment. He could feel Frank shaking against him, wishing that there was a way for him to somehow intimidate the freezing temperature so it would warm up just for Frank.

“Why?”

The older man had been expecting that question, so he had an answer ready. “Because. I don’t like anyone to see my car when I go to places like this.”

Frank began to feel slightly uneasy, his stomach feeling odd. “…What kind of place are we going to?”

“A bar.” Gerard responded simply. “I just…don’t trust the people that go to these bars, and I don’t want them to use my car as a way to find me.” He elaborated as he looked back to Frank. He hoped that Frank would just take that as an answer to his question.

“Oh…” Frank murmured. He supposed that that would suffice for now. He didn’t really know why Gerard was taking him to a _bar_. Especially not one where he didn’t trust the people that went there. Though…who _did_ Gerard trust? He was sure Gerard would keep him safe. Gerard wouldn’t let him out of his sight again, not after what had happened last time. “You’ll uhm…you’ll be sure to keep an eye on me, right?” He asked just in case. He was feeling pretty nervous now since he knew that bars tended to be pretty congested , and he had already panicked a little at the mall earlier when he thought he had lost Gerard in the crowd for a second.

Gerard’s grasp on Frank’s waist tightened a little, almost as if it were a silent answer of its own. “Of course. I’m going to keep a hold of you the whole time, alright? I won’t let anything happen to you.” He assured, sliding his fingers up and down Frank’s side for a moment.

Frank nodded, exhaling a gentle noise as he felt a little calmer. Hearing Gerard be so reassuring always seemed to lull his worries into something that was barely even noticeable. He knew that Gerard would always do whatever he could to keep him safe. He had proved that to him. Suddenly there was a gust of wind, Frank’s already freezing body clenching and shivering forcefully. He pressed himself even closer to the older man’s side. “Christ.” He mumbled. His nose was beginning to run, the tip of it flushed brightly along with his cheeks. Frank sniffled quietly and cleared his throat, hoping desperately that the bar was close and that it was going to be warm.

Gerard’s ears picked up Frank’s little sniffle, a look of concern etched into his features as he looked down at him. He could feel how hard he was shaking, and it was just a little worrying. He knew how easy it was for Frank to get sick. He remembered how frequently it had happened when Frank had still worked at the library. “Hang on.” Gerard slowed to a stop, his hand still gripping the other so he would know to stop as well.

“What is it?” Frank asked, feeling perplexed as to why they would just stop for seemingly no reason. He watched as Gerard began to unbutton his coat, growing more confused.

“I don’t want you to freeze to death.” Gerard explained as he slid his arms out of his sleeves, leaving him with just his black, long-sleeved shirt protecting him from the frigid air as he began to wrap his jacket over Frank’s shoulders.

Frank’s face flushed deeper, and this time it wasn’t just because of the cold. No one had ever offered him their jacket before. He had always been the one to do that instead. “Gerard--” Frank began to decline.

“No, Frank. I don’t want to hear it.” Gerard interrupted with a raise of his palm, having picked up on his tone of voice. “You’re _shaking_ , and I can hear you sniffling. I can’t allow you to catch a cold.”

“But _Gerard_ ,” Frank insisted while starting to take Gerard’s coat off of him, but Gerard’s large hands were already grabbing at his shoulders and keeping it held onto him.

“What did I say?” Gerard questioned as he leaned down, speaking softly right in Frank’s ear from behind.

The way Gerard’s hot breath ghosted across Frank’s skin caused him to shiver, and it was obvious to both of them that it couldn’t be because of the cold anymore. “What about you?” Frank asked instead of answering Gerard. “ _You’re_ going to freeze now.”  He huffed as he turned around in Gerard’s grasp. He looked up at him, his lower lip pushing out in a childish manner.

Gerard couldn’t help but be slightly amused as he looked Frank over. His pea coat was much too large for him. While it usually rested a few inches above Gerard’s knees, it reached almost halfway down Frank’s calves, and it was hung over his small frame loosely. “Oh, Frankie…I’ll be okay. I’ve dealt with worse.” He said as he moved to cup Frank’s face with both of his hands. He stroked his thumbs over his cheeks sweetly, dipping his head down to press their cold lips together. It really was quite cold to Gerard, the cold temperature seeping all the way down to his bones, but he wasn’t going to let Frank know that. He knew that Frank wouldn’t rest with trying to give him back his jacket if he realized just how much it was affecting him.

Frank kissed back softly before they pulled apart, his pulse racing as he looked up at Gerard with big eyes. That was such an easy way to get him to shut up and just agree with Gerard. He was secretly a sucker for little romantic gestures. “Fine.” He said before standing up on the tips of his toes briefly to peck Gerard’s lips in another little kiss. “Let’s just hurry up and get to that bar so I don’t have to drag around a human popsicle for the rest of the day.” Frank joked to make him feel less flustered.

A sly smirk tugged on one side of Gerard’s mouth as he looked down at Frank, his eyebrows raising as he he stepped in a little closer. “Well…” He said in a tone of voice that Frank was now becoming familiar with – one that was so low it sounded _dangerous_ , but there was something behind it. Something that was coy and playful. Frank was beginning to become fond of it. Gerard’s cold hands danced up Frank’s sides, slipping past his two jackets and under his shirt to tease at his skin, making a shiver wrack through him from both the cold temperature and the rough drag of his calloused fingers. “If I happen to get that cold, then  I know a few ways we can… _warm_ up…”

“Gerard…” Frank whispered, his eyes wide as he looked up at the older man, his gaze both somehow innocent and needy as his hands slid up to twist in the front of Gerard’s shirt. He never knew how to react when Gerard said things like that. But now that he had actually sort of…done things with him, he knew how he sounded. He knew the kind of things he liked to say when he was heated and aroused and just overwhelmed with pleasure. God…it was just so lewd, so passionate, so fucking _hot._

A low hum rumbled in Gerard’s throat as he dug his fingers into the soft flesh of Frank’s waist, pulling him to where their bodies were pressed nearly flush together. “Frankie,” He sighed, his gaze carrying arousal as it flickered over Frank’s soft features. “Part of me is tempted to just take you back home instead of going to that bar, you know?” He said as he slid his hands up even further, exposing the birds inked into Frank’s hips to the merciless cold air.

“Y-yeah?” Frank asked quietly, his lower lip hitching between his teeth as he thought of the implications of that sentence. What exactly would Gerard do to him if they went home right then? How far would he want to go? Maybe Frank would actually feel a little more comfortable with letting Gerard actually _see_ him this time. He looked down, before glancing around them. The streets were pretty empty. This obviously wasn’t a good part of town, and the fact that the sun was no longer out, making it dark and freezing, swayed most people to stay inside. But Frank liked that they were alone out there. He liked that it was dark and that the only thing illuminating the sidewalks were the pale orange street lamps.

The lights glowed down on them, Gerard’s usually stark white hair now tinted orange. The angle and low brightness of the lamps caused dramatic shadows to be cast over Gerard’s face, making him appear more menacing. It was almost as if it was exposing Gerard for his true self, showing the darker side that he kept locked away and hidden to the world. Hidden to everyone but _Frank_. It was chilling to see Gerard like that with the knowledge of what he actually did – of what he was truly capable of.  Frank couldn’t help but feel slightly unnerved by it, but he would be crazy if he didn’t. Frank should feel _more_ than unnerved. What Gerard did was disturbing and fucking terrible. It wasn’t right. Frank should be trying to wrench himself out of Gerard’s grasp on him…but instead he never wanted him to let go. Besides…Gerard looked oddly beautiful like that.

Frank hated it, but he felt safe there. He felt safe as Gerard held onto him so tightly – so closely. Gerard protected him. He would do anything for him. He felt like nothing could ever hurt him when he had Gerard with him, because Gerard would go to extra lengths to keep him unharmed. There was something comforting about knowing that he had someone that was willing to kill for him, even if he didn’t really approve of that at all.

“Mm-hmm.” Gerard nodded, bringing Frank back to reality with the simple noise. “But it’s a shame I have something planned or else I would.” He murmured, before slipping his hands out of Frank’s shirt and stroking it through his hair instead. He found it rather difficult for him to keep his hands off of him. It was just so incredibly soothing for him to have contact with him. He felt so much calmer as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Frank’s lips. He felt barely any pain inside of him, his stomach no longer feeling stretched taught and like it was burning. Instead it only felt mild. The pain was more akin to getting bruised instead of getting acid poured over his organs, which was much better in comparison.

A soft noise slipped out of Frank once he was kissed, his eyelashes fluttering softly against his cheeks once Gerard pulled away. Neither of them thought that they would ever get used to that. Frank had never thought that he would be willingly kissing Gerard of all people, and Gerard had never known that he would get to have the incredible privilege of kissing the love of his life. “What do you have planned?” Frank asked after a few moments of silence, missing Gerard’s touch on his sides even though it had only made him feel colder.

Gerard’s lips pursed together briefly, almost as if he were actually contemplating telling Frank what he had planned for them, but of course he wasn’t going to. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” He smirked, moving his hand back down to Frank’s back. He gave him a little nudge, getting them to start walking in the direction of the bar again.

Frank found it just a little worrying that Gerard wouldn’t tell him. What exactly could you have planned at a bar? What was Gerard going to do? He wanted to ask, but he knew that it would be pointless. If Gerard was going to tell him, then he would have done it by now. It still didn’t stop Frank from being curious though, and it was as if Gerard were able to see the slight worry on his face because he was suddenly tugging him closer and giving him a gentle squeeze. “Hey, don’t look so nervous, Frankie.” He whispered with a hint of a smile. “You trust me, right?”

Frank nodded. He _did_ trust Gerard. He was the only person he had now, so he had to. Fuck…Gerard was all he _had_. That wasn’t good. It wasn’t healthy. Frank used to have friends. He used to be able to go out with them and experience the world. Now he was too scared to. Gerard had conditioned him to be frightened. He had molded his mind with his controlling hands and skewed his view of the world. What used to be bright and vibrant and _warm_ , was now all greys and static – the earth completely devoid of  its previous warmth. But in the void – in the abyss – Gerard had painted himself there. He had used the most delicate and precise brushstrokes - the most beautiful colors, all of them saturated and bright against the black backdrop as they blended together elegantly. He had fooled Frank into falling for him, and it was too late for him to ever change his mind. Because while at times Frank became aware of those things, the part of him that was frightened by it was slowly deteriorating, and the part of him that was comfortable with it only grew stronger and stronger. Its poisonous vines grew from it and wrapped around the other side of him, squeezing it and leeching it of its strength, quickening its decay. Soon Frank would become dependant on Gerard. More so than he already was. Soon he wouldn’t even give his old life even a second thought.

“Yeah…I trust you.” Frank answered, looking up at Gerard for a moment to see his comforting gaze and just like that, all of Frank’s worries melted away again.

Gerard nodded, his grip on Frank’s waist tightening briefly. “Good.”

The walk to the bar didn’t last too much longer, much to Frank’s pleasant surprise, and soon he was getting walked towards a rather ratty looking door. He could already smell the alcohol rolling off of the place in bitter waves, causing him to recoil slightly as the door was opened. Gerard’s low voice was suddenly getting breathed into his ear, causing his body to wrack with shivers. “Stay close to me. Don’t let anyone touch you, do you understand?”

Frank nodded, hearing how serious he was. He wouldn’t want anyone to touch him anyways. “Yes, Sir.” He whispered, already pressing his back against Gerard’s chest as he walked him through the bar. He could feel some eyes falling on him, the men’s gazes crawling over his skin like insects. It made him feel dirty. Gerard noticed the way some guys were looking at Frank too, so he kept his arms firmly around him and glared at everyone to show them that Frank was taken. Frank was _his_.

Gerard moved them to a booth in the back, the light over head was broken so it seemed as though they slipped into a void. “Why are we here?” Frank finally asked when he sat down, Gerard sitting on the same side of him and keeping him secluded as another way to protect him. Frank grimaced as he rested his hands on the table, the surface somehow both sticky and oily at the same time.

Gerard looked around the room, his gaze focused and intense as if he were looking for something. “I want you to pick someone, Frankie…” Gerard whispered, his voice low and cold as he finally turned to look back at Frank.

Frank’s brows furrowed and he looked around. “Wh-what?” He stammered. “What does that _mean_?” Frank didn’t know if he was going to like the answer, and panic was already beginning to well up inside of him.

“I want you to _pick_ someone.” Gerard repeated.

“P-Pick them for _what_?”

Gerard smiled, the expression looking wicked and almost inhuman. “For you to _kill_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I sincerely hope that it was worth it!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is forced into doing something that he never wanted to do, and no amount of pleading seems to work on Gerard.

Frank’s blood ran cold, his heart feeling as though Gerard’s cool fingers were clenching around it just as they had done to Randal’s. He couldn’t have heard that right. There’s no way Gerard had just told him to pick someone to _kill_.

“ _W-what_?” He choked out, his voice high-pitched and squeaky as his frightened eyes darted over Gerard’s face.

Gerard’s unnerving smile didn’t falter and he leaned in close. “I think you know what I said, Frankie…judging by the face you’re making.” He hummed low in his throat, scooting closer to Frank until he was pressed up against the gritty wall. Frank’s breathing was coming out quickly in short little pants as panic swelled up inside of him. Gerard was _scaring_ him. Gerard leaned in and nuzzled into Frank’s throat, pressing his lips to his fluttering pulse and breathing a tiny noise. Being in that bar – smelling the familiar stench of alcohol and piss and sweat – brought him back to one of his favorite moments. The moment where he sat and observed the room in search for the perfect person for him to bring home. He felt at home there. He felt like this was where he was at his most raw and cunning. He couldn’t help but feel a little heated from the knowledge of what he was going to get to do.

Sure…he had just killed Randal and only just got his body buried the night before. But what was the harm in killing someone again? Gerard pulled back when he heard Frank whimpering, his eyes dark and filled with a feral hunger.”You sound pretty when you make those noises.” He purred, acting like a completely different person than the one Frank had walked in there with.

Frank struggled to hold back another whimper that threatened to spill out of him and he shook his head. “Why are you doing this?” He whispered. He had thought that their day out had been going amazingly. He had felt so happy and Gerard had actually been acting very sweet to him. But this…this was terrifying. This wasn’t the Gerard he had been spending the day with. This wasn’t the Gerard that gave him sweet little kisses and told him how much he cared for him. This was a Gerard that was dangerous and that would do anything to get what he wanted. It was the version of Gerard that he had seen down in the basement.

“Because, Frank…” Gerard breathed, moving to slide his fingers through Frank’s hair and watching as he recoiled a little from his touch. He didn’t like that, but he could understand. He realized how sudden this was for him, but Gerard just couldn’t wait any longer. He needed Frank to see that it wasn’t so bad. “I want you to do this because I love you.”

“ _What!?_ ” Frank spat out, his brow tugged together in confusion. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Gerard frowned. “I want to share this with you, Frankie. I want you to experience this with me.” He began to explain, his hand sliding down to grasp at the boy’s carefully stroking his fingers over his palm. “I need to show you that it’s not as bad as you think it is. This is important to me, and I wouldn’t ever let anyone else into this part of my life. This is a privilege.”

Frank couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Gerard thought that it was a _privilege_? “Gerard, I-I don’t want to do this.” He begged, knowing that it was pointless to try to understand Gerard’s reasoning. He knew that Gerard wasn’t stable. Right now was a very clear reminder of that.

Gerard shifted even closer – which Frank hadn’t even thought was possible – and he slid his hand up to cradle his jaw. “Frankie…come on. Just pick someone.” He spoke softly, his mood seeming to fluctuate at an alarming rate.

Frank shook his head and breathed another small noise, his eyes wide and pleading as he reached forward and moved to tuck his face in Gerard’s neck. Gerard wouldn’t really make him do this, would he? “Gerard- _Gee­_.” He breathed in his ear, hoping that using that name would get him some leverage. He felt Gerard’s fingers flex at his waist and he hoped that that meant that it was working. “Just take me back to your house, _p-please_.”

Gerard closed his eyes, that name almost dissolving his need to make Frank do this. But then he remembered that he couldn’t back down. He couldn’t show any weakness. If backed down _now_ , then Frank would think that he would be able to get out of it any other time he tried to get him to do it. “Frankie…what did I say about not listening?” He warned, his voice still low as he pulled away a little bit. He couldn’t give in.

“Please, _please._ ” Frank begged, beginning to grow more frantic as his fingers reached up to twist in the front of the other man’s shirt. “I’ll do anything, Gerard.”

Gerard pulled back even more and snapped his fingers in front of Frank’s face. “I distinctly remember telling you once before to never offer that. Especially if you don’t really mean it.” He huffed.

Frank flinched back a little and looked down at the booth. “I’m sorry.” He whispered softly, his mind flashing back to when Gerard had told him that before. He had been taking him down into the basement for his punishment. He didn’t want to go back there.

“Try again.” Gerard instructed sternly.

“I’m sorry, _Sir_.” Frank corrected himself and looked back up at Gerard, his fingers fiddling in his lap.

“See? There we go.” Gerard hummed. “Behaving isn’t that hard, is it?” He cooed, carefully leaning in to give Frank a sweet kiss to show him that if he behaved, then he got rewarded. It was really that simple.

Frank bowed his head submissively and shook his head. ‘No, Sir. It’s not.”

“Good. So now that you seem to understand that, I want you to pick someone, okay?” He persisted, shifting to tug Frank into his lap and wrapping his arms to loop around his waist. He hooked his chin over Frank’s shoulder, pressing his chest up against his back and breathing a soft noise under his breath. “It’s not that hard.”

Frank looked down at the table, his eyes following the rings left stained into the wooden surface. How could Gerard say that? How could he say that picking someone to _die_ wasn’t hard? He would be choosing someone to have their entire existence erased, every moment and memory stored in their mind eradicated and wiped out forever. It was extremely daunting to have to pick someone. He didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to be responsible for something so horrendous. “I don’t want to do this.” Frank whispered, his voice cracking with the weight of his desperation.

Frank felt a puff of hot air brushing over his skin, a low grumble accompanying the sensation. It was obvious that Gerard was starting to get irritated. “Are you _really_ going to make me ask you again, Frank?” He questioned. His voice was low and cold, his tone carrying a warning as his fingers flexed against Frank’s waist. “Are you wanting to test me, darling? Do you doubt that you will be punished if you don’t comply?”

A shudder rippled through Frank’s body and he shook his head; he knew that Gerard wouldn’t hesitate to discipline him. Gerard had proved that before. “N-no, Sir. I’m sorry.” He whispered, closing his eyes and leaning back against the older man. “I’ll pick someone now…” He sighed defeatedly. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to do this! This was one of the worst things he had ever been made to do. But maybe…maybe if he complied and actually _picked_ a person, then Gerard would just take over and do all of the killing by himself since he would know how hard it was for Frank. But Frank knew that’s not how it was going to go. Nothing ever worked out for him like that.

“Mmm, I can’t wait.” Gerard hummed and nuzzled into Frank’s hair, acting sweet again.

A whisper of a whimper escaped Frank’s lips as he forced himself to open his eyes, and he turned his head to look around the room. He looked over everyone in his line of sight, just trying to find something to help him choose. Was there something that _Gerard_ always looked for when he chose someone? Was there just some specific quality that he could see that let him know that they were the _one_? Frank strained to see something that just _stood out_ to him – something that screamed: _pick me! I deserve to die!_ But there just… _wasn’t_ anything.

Frank was about to turn to Gerard to explain to him that he didn’t know what he was doing, when he caught someone’s gaze from across the bar. It was a man, sitting with his back leaning against the bar and a brown glass bottle held loosely between his fingers. He reminded Frank of Randal, which was odd because he looked nothing like him. He was much skinnier and had quite the full head of hair, but there was just something… That’s when Frank realized, it was his _eyes._ He was looking right at him, his gaze predatory and almost lifeless like that of a shark’s. He was looking at him just like Randal had before he would try to force him to… Frank shuddered and shook his head, almost as if he were physically trying to dislodge the memory from his mind.

“H-him.” Frank’s quiet voice escaped him without his consent. He looked down at himself in surprise. He hadn’t been planning on picking that man, but the way he was looking at him _frightened_ him. It’s almost as if he startled that word out of him.

 

Gerard raised an eyebrow, his heart fluttering with excitement. “Who?” He asked, his eyes looking out over the room. He stopped when he reached the man Frank was talking about, seeing the way he was looking at Frank. “Is it the man at the bar?” He certainly hoped that it was. He couldn’t have people getting away with staring at Frank like that. Frank was _his_.

Frank had no idea how Gerard knew exactly who he was talking about, but he just chalked it up to the fact that Gerard seemed to know everything he was thinking. Or maybe he was just saw that weird specific quality in that man that made him seem like he deserved to die. Frank didn’t know, but he _did_ know better than to question it. “Yes.” He confirmed, closing his eyes away and reaching down to hold onto one of Gerard’s hands.

Gerard hummed, Frank feeling the way it made his chest vibrate slightly against his back. “Oh, _excellent_ choice, Frankie…” He purred proudly, his eyes glittering with exhilaration. “He will do just fine.”

Frank really hated to admit it, but knowing that he had pleased Gerard with his choice actually made him feel… _good_. God, it was sick, but he loved making Gerard proud. “Really…?” He asked, just wanting to hear him reassure him some more so he could focus on the praise instead of the fact that he had just picked Gerard’s next victim.

“Yes. _Yes_.” Gerard insisted, moving his head down to begin pressing kisses over the side of Frank’s throat. “I would have picked him too…” He whispered. He felt so proud of Frank. He did such a good job. He was definitely going to be rewarded.

That felt like it had to be the highest compliment he could get from Gerard. After all…Gerard _had_ been doing this for most of his life, so he sort of knew what he was doing. It meant a lot to Frank that Gerard really was happy with his choice, even though he knew he shouldn’t be. This was terrible. God, what was he doing? “Come on, now for the fun part.” He heard Gerard whisper into his ear.

“What’s the fun part?” He asked as he slid out of Gerard’s lap and onto the cracked vinyl of the booth.

“We get to lure him to come with us.” Gerard whispered, his eyes darting back to the man at the bar that was still staring at them openly. He gave him a nod and a knowing little smile, his hand lifting up to wiggle his pale fingers in a flirtatious wave.

Frank’s brows furrowed, a hint of a frown teasing at his lips as he watched the little interaction between the two other men. He didn’t like seeing Gerard flirt with someone else. Even though he knew it was all part of the game. “Oh…” Frank whispered, just in an attempt to get Gerard to give him his attention again.

Gerard flicked his gaze back to Frank, his hand reaching down to rest on his small thigh. “Don’t worry. This shouldn’t take long.” Gerard assured him as he squeezed his fingers a little. He then turned to look back at the other man, smirking when he saw that he was still looking at them. He was really going to regret the fact that he chose them to stare at. Gerard lifted his hand again, this time to beckon the man over to their table with a slow, enticing curl of his index finger, and a precise, delicate nod. It didn’t take much longer before the man was picking up his drink and pushing past a few other drunks to get to them.

“Hey there…” Was the first thing he said as he sat in the booth across from both Gerard and Frank, already leaning in close and resting his elbows on the dirty table. “I couldn’t help but notice you two from across the room…”

Frank stayed silent, his gaze cast down as he shuffled to press closer to Gerard. “Oh…well we certainly noticed you too.” Gerard smirked, his body loose and smile playful. He had his arm slung around Frank’s shoulder now, and Frank welcomed the feeling of security it gave him.

“Really?” The man asked. He wasn’t used to such attractive people paying him any attention, so he was just a little unsure of how to act.

Gerard nodded, one of his eyebrows quirking up playfully. “Of course. If we hadn’t noticed you then you wouldn’t be sitting here with us now.” He stated simply.

“That’s nice to hear…” The man hummed, feeling slightly surprised that someone like _Gerard_ had taken notice to him. He was incredibly stunning, and was a lot better looking than the usual people he took home with him. Not to mention the boy that was with him was extremely pretty as well. “So…what are two people like you doing in a place like this?” He asked, leaning closer as he caught Gerard’s gaze again, his eyes seeming to draw him in.

Gerard smirked and tipped his head to the side with a playful glint shimmering behind his irises. “Oh, we’re just here in search of a good time.” He answered, pursing his lips as he tapped on the table with his index finger. “Do you think we could find that with you?”

The man’s smile widened and he reached up to scratch at his stubbly jaw. “I think you _can_.” He said, excitement growing inside of him as he looked over Gerard’s flawless features.

“Mmm…That’s really good to hear.” Gerard purred, and Frank didn’t like it when he spoke in that tone of voice to anyone else, but he knew he just had to deal with it. He knew that Gerard really didn’t like this man. Judging by the way Gerard was holding onto him so tight it was nearly cutting off his blood circulation, Frank was pretty certain of that. “I wasn’t looking forward to staying here for too long, so It’s lucky we found you so quick.” Gerard said softly, sliding his pale fingers through his hair and tipping his head back just to expose the slop of his throat, trying to entice the other man further. He liked toying with his ‘prey’ so to speak. He liked getting them all excited before he killed them. It just made it much more _fun_ for him.

The man’s eyes dragged over Gerard’s almost porcelain-like skin and he shifted in his booth. “Yeah…I can’t remember the last time my luck was _this_ good.” He spoke, chuckling a little, and Gerard had to laugh with him, because this man had no idea how bad his luck truly was. He then noticed as the man’s gaze flickered between both him and Frank, narrowing his eyes briefly as he saw that his gaze was lingering on Frank, and he immediately gripped Frank a little tighter.

“He looks young.” Gerard heard the man say, obviously talking about Frank. “Is he even legal?” He asked with a smirk.

Gerard narrowed his eyes. “Yes. Of course he is.” He said a little harshly. Gerard wasn’t a creep that preyed on minors. Just the thought of that made him feel sick.

The man lifted his hands up, looking almost like he was surrendering. “Hey, no need to get defensive.” He chuckled. “I wouldn’t mind either way…”

Gerard furrowed his brow before he arched one up curiously. “What do you mean?” He asked, glancing over at Frank who was keeping his head down. He obviously wasn’t comfortable at all, and Gerard could understand why. “You wouldn’t care if he was underage?” Gerard elaborated.

The man shook his head, his sickening smirk still in place as he dragged his gaze over Frank, and Gerard was starting to feel extra protective. “No, I wouldn’t.” He hummed. “If I’m being honest…I like ‘em young.”

Gerard closed his eyes for a moment, really not liking what he was hearing. This guy couldn’t be serious. God, Gerard was starting to feel nauseous, his stomach churning as he opened his eyes again. Frank was feeling pretty much exactly the same as him. “How young…?” Gerard forced himself to ask. “What’s your limit?”

The man chuckled and leaned back, his expression smug and self-assured as he rested his arm over the back of the booth. “So far I haven’t found it.”

That sent Gerard reeling. How dare this man…this _monster_ act _proud_ because he was into _children_. Gerard wanted to rip this man apart. He wanted to…he wanted to boil him in _acid_. God. _God_. Gerard felt like he was _shaking_ with rage. Sure, Gerard was a killer, but he wasn’t a _sick pedophile._ He could never…he couldn’t…no child deserved that. There was _no_ justification for it. _None_. Gerard’s grip on Frank tighten, his nails digging into his shoulder a little as he held him as close as he could, and he could actually feel Frank _trembling_. Fuck…that was too much. He was just so furious.

Gerard was about to get up and scream at this man. He was about to tell him off and beat the shit out of him right there, but he stopped himself. He couldn’t do that because he needed to lure him to come with them. He just needed to go along with him no matter how much he was against it, because soon this man would get what he deserved, and that was _death_.

“Oh?” Gerard purred , slipping back into his flirty façade. “Well…I’m certain I can get little _Jake_ here to act a little younger, if you’d be into that.” He hummed as he glanced back to Frank.

Frank looked up at Gerard with a perplexed gaze, but he soon realized that Gerard didn’t want this man to know his name. Frank was actually a little thankful that Gerard had taken that into consideration. “Mm, _Jake_ , hm?” The man spoke again. “I think I _would_ like that, uh…” He looked at Gerard curiously.

“Gerard.” He supplied. He didn’t care if he knew his name. Gerard only cared about this man knowing _Frank’s_ name, because Frank was important. This man had no right to know it.

The man nodded. “Gerard…” He echoed before reaching his hand across and holding it out for Gerard to take. “it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Andy.”

Gerard looked down at Andy’s outstretched hand and arched one of his eyebrows. There was no way he was touching this man’s hand. “Sorry, I don’t do handshakes.” He declined politely, even though he wanted to cut his hand off instead.

Andy shrugged, not really caring too much. “Fine by me.” He said as he picked up his bottle and took a few swigs from it. “So…When are we gonna get out of here?”

Gerard glanced down at Frank and patted his shoulder briefly. “I think we’re ready to go. What do you say, Jake?” He asked quietly.

Frank looked up at Gerard and bit down on his lip. He was so scared. He didn’t want to be around Andy any longer; he was an absolutely vile person. But he carefully nodded anyway. He could feel Andy’s gaze burning a hole in his skin, so he kept his eyes on Gerard. “Alright. Let’s go ahead and go.” Gerard said as he stood up and shuffled out of the booth, keeping his grip on Frank tight. Once they were stood up, Frank nuzzled closely to Gerard, looking up at him with wide eyes as he silently begged him to keep him safe. Gerard gave a discreet nod before looking back up at Andy.

Andy was still staring at Frank, and Gerard didn’t like it. “He seems to like you a lot.” Andy observed when he noticed the way Frank was snuggling up close to Gerard.

Gerard looked down at Frank, carefully lifting his hand to pet over his hair. “Mm, I suppose he does.” He murmured. While he despised Andy and the fact that he was having to interact with him, he was liking how close Frank was staying to him. Frank, of course, hated Andy as well. The way he was looking at him frightened him. He kept looking at him like he was a piece of _meat_.  Frank whimpered and glanced up at Gerard, focusing on the feeling of his hand petting over his hair soothingly. He just wanted to burrow into Gerard’s chest and hide there. He didn’t want to be seen anymore.

“So, did you drive here?” Gerard asked Andy, still threading his fingers through Frank’s soft hair. If Andy had driven there, then Gerard would need to figure out what car he drove so he could come back for it later.

Andy shook his head, his lips still tugged up into a sly smile. God, it was so _maddening_ to Gerard that he was so cocky. “Nah, I took a cab here since I was planning on getting drunk and going home with someone…which seems to have worked out _perfectly_ me.” He said as he dragged his gaze over Gerard, making it feel like bugs were crawling over his skin.

A shudder wracked up Gerard’s spine and he cleared his throat to steady his voice before speaking again. “Mm, well…I’m glad we’re able to accommodate your plans for the evening.” Gerard said with a raise of an eyebrow, sliding his hand down to grip Frank’s waist now. He was glad that he wouldn’t have to deal with coming back for Andy’s vehicle. That would save him quite a bit of time. “Why don’t we head to my car now, hm?” He said, already beginning to walk towards the back door so he wouldn’t have to push through all of the other people there. It would make their exit more discreet.

“Hell yeah…” Gerard heard Andy mutter behind him, and he didn’t even have to look back to know that he was following close behind. Gerard sighed softly and kept his hands on Frank’s hips as he made him walk in front of him, not wanting Andy to be able to get to him and try to touch him. He had promised that he would protect him, and he wasn’t going to let that loathsome _monster_ to put his hands on the only person he cared about. And after tonight…he wasn’t going to be putting his hands on anyone _else_ either.

Once they pushed the back door open and stepped out into the alley, the frigid night air dug its claws into Gerard and latched onto his skin. The bar had been so muggy and _hot_ inside of it, that the sharp contrast of the temperature seemed almost _violent_. It was even worse since he didn’t have his jacket on, but he felt good to know that Frank had the extra layer of protection. That was the most important thing to him. He smiled down at Frank lovingly, his lips curled up slightly as he held him close. “I love you.” Gerard whispered under his breath so only Frank would be able to hear.

Frank looked up at Gerard, his heart fluttering beneath his ribcage. He had needed to hear that. The way that Andy had been looking at him and talking about him, and the way that Gerard had seemed to just be offering him up, had messed him up a little bit. He had been a little worried that Gerard _meant_ it. But hearing the pure sincerity in Gerard’s voice when he told him that he loved him really calmed him down. He smiled back and began to lean up to kiss Gerard, when Andy’s voice grated through the gentle atmosphere, reminding him that he was just right behind them.

“So…where’s your car?” Andy asked as he shoved his hands in his pocket and looked around, peeking down each end of the street.

Gerard huffed silently and turned to face him, forcing himself to give him a crooked smile. “Right this way.” He said in a low voice, tipping his head in the direction that he and Frank had came from.

The walk to the car didn’t seem to take as long as it had to get to the bar since there were no unnecessary stops to argue about any coats and who should wear who’s, and soon enough Gerard was pulling his keys and unlocking it with the little fob from a few feet away.

“Where am I sitting?” Andy asked, assuming that he would be sitting in the back. He noticed how close Gerard liked to keep Frank, so he figured that he wouldn’t want to have him in the back when he could have him sitting next to him instead.

“Go ahead and sit up front. I want to talk to Jake here for a moment.” Gerard mumbled, earning a confused gaze from Frank.

Andy just shrugged and walked around to get into the passenger side. “Why am I sitting in the back?” Frank asked as soon as the door was shut.

Gerard stepped closer and began to slid his fingers along Frank’s jaw, exhaling a small sigh. “I need you to sit in the back because it’s safer there.” He said, his boots scuffing against the rough pavement as he moved even closer, pressing his chest up against Frank’s.

A barely audible gasp was sucked into Frank’s lungs as Gerard pressed close, his rough fingertips scraping over his jaw easily causing his veins to thrum quickly with slight excitement. “How?” Frank questioned as he glanced up into Gerard’s eyes, his irises appearing to be nearly _black_ in the low light, but of course Frank still got lost in them.

“If you sit up front and he’s in the back, then he can easily reach up to touch you, Frank.” Gerard explained. “But it would be much harder for him to do so if he is up front with me, and it will also be easier for me to stop him if he tried.”

“Oh…” Frank whispered. That actually made quite a bit of sense. It was incredible that Gerard seemed to have thought of pretty much everything.

“Mm-hmm.” Gerard nodded, sliding his hand back to play with the hairs on the back of Frank’s neck. It was nice to have just a few moment’s alone with Frank. “Also…I need you to do something for me…” Gerard added.

Frank pulled his brows together and tilted his head to the side, already feeling a little wary since he could tell by Gerard’s tone that he wasn’t going to like this. “What do you need me to do?” Frank asked hesitantly.

“Follow me.” Gerard said instead of just telling Frank what he wanted him to do and he walked Frank over to the trunk. He paused and sighed when he remembered how bloody the trunk was, debating on whether he should let him see or not. He supposed that it would be best for Frank if he did. He was going to have to get used to seeing a lot of blood since he was staying with him now. So he popped the trunk open and glanced back to Frank, watching his reaction.

Frank’s eyes widened almost comically as he stumbled back away from the trunk. He remembered Gerard telling him before that there was blood in the trunk, but he never expected _that_ much. It was _everywhere_. He was surprised that Randal hadn’t bled out in the trunk. It made Frank feel so _sick_ . “Christ…oh my god…” Frank whispered, covering his mouth in shock.

 Gerard looked at Frank before back to the trunk. “It’s not that bad, Frankie. Besides, it’s all dried.” He said as he reached down to touch the deep rust colored pool. When he pulled his hand away, his pale skin was untainted, still nearly paper-white in the silver light of the moon. “See?” He asked as he wiggled his fingers in front of Frank.

Frank nodded. Sure, it may have been completely dry, but that didn’t change what it was. It was still blood, and it still freaked Frank out. “Why did you even bring me to your trunk anyway?” He made himself ask. He didn’t want to be back there anymore.

Gerard exhaled a small noise and reached into his truck, pulling out a little bag and unzipping it. “Because of _this_.” He said, making sure that he trunk was blocking the back window so Andy couldn’t see as he grabbed a little glass bottle from the bag as well as pulling out an unused syringe.

“What is that?” Frank asked, but before Gerard could answer him he already realized what it was. He remembered feeling the sharp slide of a needle piercing his skin the night that Gerard had taken him, and he remembered that Gerard had actually _drugged_ him. He had forgotten about that. “Oh…” He whispered.

Gerard exhaled a small sigh, his breath swirling visibly in the cold air as he opened the bottle and uncapped the needle. “Yeah…” He mumbled as he lifted the items up to the light, his eyes narrowed as he squinted to read the tiny measure lines on the syringe. He stuck the needle into the bottle and extracted the amount that would be needed before carefully capping the syringe again and sealing the glass bottle. Gerard tucked the bottle back into his bag, but he passed the needle to Frank. “Take this.” He instructed quietly.

Frank took it warily, holding it almost daintily in his hand as if he were afraid that it would somehow come uncapped and inject him if he were to hold it too tight. “Why are you giving this to me?” Frank asked, still staring at it.

“I need you to get this into his neck.”  Gerard answered as he reached forward and tapped the end of the needle with his fingertip. He didn’t seem to be as nervous around them as Frank was.

“ _What_?” Frank hissed, his wide eyes tearing away from the needle to look up at Gerard instead.

“I need you to inject this stuff into that man’s neck.” Gerard repeated more clearly, tipping his head back towards the car.

A tiny whimper clawed its way up Frank’s throat and pushed past his lips, anxiety settling in his stomach like a stone. “Gerard I can’t— I don’t know _how_.” He said, his voice wavering with nerves.

Gerard’s head shook a little as his hand lifted up and slid through Frank’s hair, moving all the way back to cup the back of his neck. “Don’t worry, sweetheart.” Gerard cooed softly. “It’s not that hard okay?” He murmured, looking down into Frank’s frightened eyes. “All you have to do is uncap the syringe, and then I want you to stab it right…” Gerard moved his hand over and tapped his cold finger over Frank’s jugular vein. “…here.” He whispered, Frank’s eyes slipping shut as he shuddered. “Then you just push the plunger down all the way before pulling it out, alright?”

Frank opened his eyes slowly and nodded to show that he understood. “But when do I do it? How do I know when the time is right?” Frank asked anxiously.

Gerard shuffled closer and leaned in to press a soft kiss to the bridge of Frank’s nose, earning a faint smile. “I’ll let you know when to do it.” He assured the boy. “Just be sure to keep an eye on the rear view mirror, okay? I’ll give you a little nod, and once I do then you need to stab it into his neck immediately. Does that make sense to you?”

Frank nodded again and sighed as he carefully placed the needle into the pocket of Gerard’s pea coat that he was still wearing, taking a step forward and circling his arms around Gerard’s waist. He was so nervous. He didn’t want to mess up and he didn’t want to have to do this. Frank nuzzled against Gerard’s broad chest, listening to the slow drag of the air as it was pulled into the man’s lungs. “I’m just scared…” He admitted on a very soft whisper, almost as if he were afraid for Gerard to hear him.

Gerard’s strong arms lifted up and wrapped around Frank’s upper body, securing him in a firm embrace. “Oh, I know, baby.” He murmured, peppering kisses all over Frank’s hair. “But you’ll be okay. I promise.”

Frank lifted his head up to look at Gerard, fluttering his eyelashes a little. He always felt so much better when Gerard reassured him, and it was really nice to be out there with just _him_. He really didn’t want to get into the car with Andy. “Can I just…can you kiss me?” He asked in a small voice. He felt like he needed it before he was around that other man again.

Gerard exhaled a lilting chuckle, his hot breath puffing against Frank’s face since they were so close. He never thought that _Frank_ would be the one to want to kiss _him_. He had spent so much of his time fantasizing about it that it was surreal to him that it was actually happening now. “Yeah.” Gerard answered simply. He leaned down, Frank standing on the tips of his toes to reach as they sealed their lips together. Frank breathed a tiny noise in the back of his throat, his eyes slipping closed as he reached up to twist his fists in the front of Gerard’s shirt. Gerard tipped his head to the side, breathing heavily through his nose as he carefully dragged his tongue over Frank’s lower lip. Once he was granted entrance, Gerard started to lick into Frank’s mouth, one hand falling down to grab at his hip while the other threaded through the long hairs on the back of Frank’s head.

The close proximity of their bodies and the way their lips were sliding hotly against each other’s was keeping them both warm in the chilly air around them. They both started to get a little lost in the kiss, forgetting about anything other than each other as they tried to fuse together at the mouth. Gerard’s hand moved from Frank’s hip to cradle the boy’s jaw, pulling him in as their tongues dragged along each other slowly, just getting a taste for one another. Frank’s back was curved up, almost leaning back a little with the way Gerard was curling over him, almost shielding him from the world around them as they kissed. It was nice. It was actually… _romantic_. It wasn’t rushed or hungry. There was no desperate _heat_ behind it. It was just simple and slow. It was exactly what Frank needed.

Frank was the one to pull back, his lips a little dark and only slightly swollen as he looked up at Gerard with his mossy green gaze glittering with warmth. “Thanks.” He whispered appreciatively.

Gerard dragged his hand to gently hold onto Frank’s chin, his thumb swiping over his shiny lower lip. ”You’re always welcome, my darling.” He said with a coy grin pulling the corners of his mouth upwards. He looked over Frank’s pink cheeks momentarily, finding the way he blushed to be rather endearing. “Mm, God, you’re just so beautiful.” He whispered, watching as the pink shade on Frank’s face to deepen. He huffed a small laugh before leaning forward to press a brief peck to Frank’s lips. “Love you so much.” Gerard mumbled as he pulled away.

Frank was unable to stop the sheepish grin from stretching over his features. “I uhm… I really like you too…” Frank said in return, hoping that it was a good enough response. It seemed to be adequate enough since it earned him another kiss from Gerard.

“You have no idea how much I love to hear you say things like that.” Gerard said as he pulled Frank in for a short hug. When he pulled back, he sighed. He knew that they couldn’t just stay out there forever. They had to get back into the car before Andy started to get suspicious of why they were taking so long. Gerard reached up and tucked a few hairs behind Frank’s ear, his head tipping to the side as he just admired Frank for a few more seconds. “I think we need to go now, Frank…” He told him, his voice now carrying a solemn tone.

Frank’s face fell a little, his gaze shifting to stare at the ground beneath them. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t want to go yet. He liked it out there. Sure, it was cold, but it was just him and Gerard. He didn’t have to think about the fact that he was going to have to inject God knows what into that man’s neck. “Okay…” He mumbled, knowing that it was best to comply instead of trying to convince Gerard to change his mind.

A sympathetic smile curled on Gerard’s lips as he patted Frank’s shoulder, reaching up to ruffle his hair a little bit. “It’ll be okay.” He promised, leaning down to nudge his nose against Frank’s carefully. A small giggle bubbled out of Frank’s mouth, unable to stop it as he nuzzled back. It was just so easy to get lost in Gerard’s charm. He seemed to suck him in and make him forget about what was happening around them – like the fact that there was a man in the car that they were taking to Gerard’s house to kill.

Gerard smiled again, his heart feeling light and fluttery. Frank’s laugh always evoked an intense feeling of _love_ for the other inside of him. It was just so _beautiful_. “Come on, sweetheart.” Gerard murmured softly, shutting the trunk and glancing through the rear window to see Andy was fiddling with the radio. He groaned inwardly and shook his head as he moved to the driver-side door. He didn’t like this man messing with any of his things.

“ _There_ you guys are.” Andy said as soon as they both got into the car. “I was beginning to think that you two were having second thoughts about me.” He chuckled, his eyes falling down to Gerard’s hand as he turned the radio off.

Gerard forced a sly smile on his face and shook his head. “No, we wouldn’t ever change our minds about _you_.” He purred, swiping his tongue over his lower lip almost suggestively before biting down on it.

Andy visibly shuddered, obviously beginning to grow excited again. This guy was just _too_ easy. “That’s good to hear.”

Gerard only hummed in return before glancing back to Frank in the mirror. Frank had to move the shopping bags out of the way as he buckled up, feeling Gerard’s eyes on him and looking back to him. He didn’t like being back there. He wanted to be closer to Gerard. He wished that he could just be curled up in his lap instead of sat behind him, but that was illogical. Gerard wouldn’t be able to drive like that since he would be in the way.

The beginning of the drive was filled with Andy trying to make small talk, with Gerard only uttering one word responses, growing tired of the charade he was having to keep up. He had to push his hand away quite a few times from his own thigh when he tried to touch him, telling him that he had to wait until they got home, and that it would be worth it. Of course Andy believed him. Gerard was pretty good at acting when he really wanted to be. It was kind of scary.

Frank was extremely uncomfortable. He hated seeing that man try to touch Gerard. He was just so _dirty,_ and Frank noticed the way that Andy would keep trying to look back at him too. He would drag his repulsive gaze over him, making Frank want to curl up and disappear into himself. He wanted to hide. He wanted to tug Gerard’s large jacket over his head and lean against the window to keep himself hidden, but he couldn’t. He had to keep looking into the mirror, waiting for the sign.

Frank reached into his pocket and slid his fingers over the syringe, his eyes locked onto the rearview mirror as he exhaled a shaky sigh. He would notice that Gerard would keep looking at him in the mirror more and more frequently, making him feel like he would get the nod any _second_. It was about fifteen minutes into the drive that it finally came. Gerard had made sure the nod looked deliberate and purposeful so Frank would know, and the boy immediately understood. His trembling fingers quickly uncapped the syringe, his heart fluttering rapidly like a caged bird as he lifted the needle and jabbed it into Andy’s exposed throat with an embarrassing squeak.

“What the _fuck_!” Andy hissed, reaching up quickly to grab at the needle, but Frank managed to push the little plunger down just in time – the contents of the tube getting pushed into his bloodstream before Andy was able to do anything about it.

Frank yelped as Andy’s hand grabbed at his, his grip slowly growing more weak. “Get your fuckin’ hands off of him!” Frank heard Gerard snap, making him jump before Gerard’s hand was reaching over and prying Andy’s off of him. Frank yanked his hand away, pulling the needle out and tossing it to the floor of the car as cradled his wrist close to his chest, feeling dirty where he was touched. “I’m so sorry he touched you, Frankie.” Gerard said earnestly as Andy finally slumped limply against the seat.

“I-It’s okay…” Frank whispered, quickly bending down to pick up the syringe to cap it before pocketing it again.

Gerard huffed, feeling angry with himself as he shook his head. He hated the fact that Andy’s disgusting hands had touched _Frank_. “It definitely won’t happen again.” Gerard promised, looking back at Frank in the mirror, seeing how shaken up he looked. “Are you alright?” He asked

Frank nodded, tugging Gerard’s pea coat tighter around him. “I’m okay… It was just a little scary.” He whispered.

Gerard looked back to the road and carefully reached his hand back towards Frank. It was an awkward angle, but he didn’t have it in him to care. “I’m sorry, baby.” He murmured, squeezing Frank’s hand when he grabbed it and feeling over his soft fingers. “But you did good. See? He’s knocked out cold, and he should stay that way for awhile.” He told him, and Frank peered over to look at Andy with a grimace. He hated him, and it was nice to know that he wasn’t able to look at him anymore. “I’m so proud of you, Frank.”

Frank smiled a little at that. It made him feel good to know that he had done a good job, and that Gerard was proud of him. He loved making him proud. “Thank you.” He whispered, looking down to Gerard’s pale hand and fiddling with his fingers a little bit. The way he was reaching back looked like it was uncomfortable, his torso twisted slightly and shoulder contorted, but Frank really felt like he needed to hold his hand to calm himself down a little.

_________________________

They were both quiet for the rest of the car ride, Gerard never bringing his hand away from Frank despite how it was starting to cause his shoulder to ache, and Frank never letting go. When they pulled up to his driveway, Gerard struggled a little with the sharp turn since he only had one hand to work with, but he didn’t even try to pull his hand back. He liked holding Frank’s hand. It was just so soft and small in his own, and he could feel the calluses on his fingertips.

As he pulled up to his house, Gerard reluctantly pulled his hand away and Frank had to struggle to not reach for it again. “You alright, Sweetheart?” Gerard said as he turned back to face Frank, happy to see the real him and not just his reflection.

Frank looked up at Gerard and gave him a small nod. “Yeah…” He mumbled, his gaze flickering over to Andy for a moment.

“Alright, Frank. Let’s go.” Gerard hummed as he stepped out of the car, waiting for Frank to do the same before he shut the door. He began to roll his shoulder, gripping at it and massaging it a little in an attempt to quell the way it was aching from how he had been straining it a little bit.

Frank noticed the way that Gerard was grabbing at his shoulder, guilt beginning to swell inside of him. “Is your shoulder okay?” He asked in a soft voice.

“Yeah.” Gerard smiled softly and walked over to him, giving him a kiss on the top of his head. “It shouldn’t hurt for much longer.” He assured him. He couldn’t have Frank feeling bad for his shoulder hurting. It had been Gerard’s choice to hold his hand that whole time.

Frank was glad to know that it wasn’t really a big deal, and he was happy to receive a little kiss from the older man. “Okay, that’s good.” He murmured, standing up on the tips of his toes to press his own kiss to the corner of Gerard’s lips.

Gerard’s mouth stretched wide into a smile and he chuckled, removing his hand from his shoulder for a moment to ruffle through Frank’s hair. “Such a sweet boy.” His voice cooed before he moved away from Frank before he began to speak again. “Can you gather the bags and take them inside while I bring Andy down into the basement?” He asked as he walked around to the other side of the car, glancing back to Frank with a small smile. He pulled the passenger side door open, causing Andy to to slump out a little bit as he had been leaning against the door, nearly falling to the ground had it not been for the seatbelt securing him.

“Yeah…Yeah, I’ll bring everything inside.” Frank answered as Gerard huffed and unbuckled Andy from his seat. He watched as the older man slung his unconscious body over his non-aching shoulder, his eyebrows raising. He just did it with so much _ease_. He was acting as if Andy weighed almost _nothing_. He supposed he was a lot smaller than Randal had been, but he was still larger than Frank was. He supposed that he had to weigh similar to how much Gerard did. Frank just knew that he wouldn’t be able to carry someone so easily.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Gerard cooed before shutting the car door and beginning to walk up to his house. He searched his pockets with his free hand and tugged out his keys, finally finding the right one and shoving it into the lock.

Frank just stood there as Gerard carried Andy up the porch steps, feeling sick as he watched his body slumping limply over his shoulder. God, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t _kill_ this man with Gerard. Suddenly Frank dropped the bags he was holding, acting on instinct an not rational thought as he turned and began to sprint down Gerard’s driveway. Hearing the bags clatter to ground followed by a quick succession of rapid footsteps receding away caused Gerard to turn around, his eyes widening when he saw that Frank was trying to run away. “Shit.” He hissed before just letting Andy’s body fall to the floor in the middle of his doorway before turning and rushing after Frank.

Frank didn’t stand a chance in racing against Gerard. His legs were much shorter than his and had never been to good at running anyways. Not only that, but Gerard had a lot of experience chasing people who tried to escape. Frank had to admit that turning to see Gerard chase after him with such a dark, focused look was a little terrifying, giving him a burst of adrenaline to help with his speed, but of course it wasn’t enough. Because Gerard had caught up to him only a few tiny seconds later. With just a few more rapid beats of his frightened heart, Frank was tackled to the ground – his palms scraping against the rough gravel and twigs of Gerard’s driveway as his breath was forced from his lungs from the impact.

He gasped as he was yanked to roll over, coming face to face with a seething Gerard. Gerard lifted his hand up, poising it to bring down hard against Frank’s cheek before he stopped himself, watching as Frank flinched and closed his eyes in anticipation for a hit that never came. He didn’t want to hurt him again. Frank already had enough bruises. “What the _fuck_ were you trying to do there, Frankie?” He spat instead as he reached down to pin both of Frank’s wrists down against the ground.

Frank began to shake, cracking his eyes open as he looked up at Gerard with a fearful gaze. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so s-sorry.” He whimpered as he began to squirm a little – the rocks digging into his back uncomfortably. “I just- I don’t want to do it. I d-don’t want to k-kill him.” He explained as he closed his eyes again, not liking the way Gerard was looking at him.

Gerard huffed and shook his head, his grip tight enough around Frank’s wrists to cut off the circulation. “Well you’re _going to._ ” He hissed before shifting to where he was sitting on Frank, his hips pressed firmly against the boy’s to help keep him still. “What were you planning on doing here, Frank? Hm? You were going to try to run down my four and a half mile long driveway?” He asked. “Then what? If you happened to make it before I could catch you, what were you going to do? Were you going to try to hitchhike? Don’t you know how _dangerous_ that is? _Anyone_ could pick you up! Someone that might want to hurt you, Frank. Someone like _Randal_.”

Frank whimpered at the mention of that man’s name. Gerard was right. He hadn’t thought about what he was going to do if he made it out of the woods. And it _was_ dangerous. No one out there would protect him. Frank suddenly began to sob, twisting and straining his wrists as he tried to wrench them out of Gerard’s painful grasp. “I’m sorry. I’m- I’m sorry. P-please forgive me.” Frank hiccupped as he looked up at Gerard with his eyes shimmering with tears.

Gerard’s gaze softened when Frank began to cry, his heart clenching as his stomach began to twist painfully. “Frank—“

“ _Please_.” Frank cried before Gerard could finish, afraid that he was going to punish him. “I won’t do it again. I w-won’t. Please, just- just hold me. Please, just k-keep me safe, Gerard. I’m just s-scared.” He begged, hoping that the older man would go easy on him.

Gerard closed his eyes for a moment, his fingers twitching around Frank’s wrists as he slowly released him. Immediately Frank’s hands flew up to clutch desperately at the front of Gerard’s shirt, his face lifting to bury in the crook of his neck. “Frankie…” Gerard sighed, obviously calming down and no longer sounding angry. He supposed he understood why Frank would freak out a little bit. Killing someone was quite intimidating when you’ve never done it before. But of course, Gerard was going to be there with him. He was going to help him and make sure that he did it right. “You don’t have to be scared, okay?” He cooed softly, moving to stroke through Frank’s hair. “I’ll be there with you.”

Frank sniffled and pulled back, lying back against the cold ground. He really didn’t want to do this, but it appeared as though he had no choice in the matter. “Okay…” He whispered.

Feeling satisfied with Frank’s answer, Gerard began to stand up slowly. He reached down and helped Frank up, dusting the dirt off of him carefully. “I’m sorry if I hurt you when I jumped on you…” He murmured as he looked Frank over, reaching down to lift his hands up to inspect his wrists. There was a little bit of redness forming from where he had gripped them so tightly, but other than that it didn’t seem to bad.

“It’s okay…” Frank breathed quietly, looking to the ground as Gerard began to kiss over his wrist. He was always so gentle with him after he got hurt, even if he had been the one to hurt him in the first place.

“I just couldn’t let you get away, you know?” Gerard explained as he lifted his hand up to pick a leaf from Frank’s hair, releasing it and watching as it fluttered to the ground before flicking his gaze up to look over the boy’s face.

“I know.” Frank sighed, taking a step forward and burying his face in Gerard’s warm chest.

Gerard hummed softly and wrapped his arms around Frank’s middle, giving him a soft squeeze before leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “Okay, baby…come on.” He whispered as he pulled away, beginning to pull Frank back towards the house.

Frank easily allowed himself to be guided by Gerard, his eyes falling down to look at the way Andy was still slumped in the middle of the doorway. He supposed it was lucky that he was drugged or else he would have probably tried to escape while Gerard was busy running after Frank. “Do you still want me to get the bags?” Frank asked as he turned to look up at the other man.

Gerard smiled and nodded. “Yes, please. If you don’t mind.” He replied, stopping and waiting for Frank to gather all of the bags before walking with him up the stairs of the porch. He would have helped Frank carry some of the bags if he didn’t have to pick Andy up again. He stepped ahead of Frank and bent down to hoist the unconscious man up over his shoulder before quickly stepping out of the way. “Just leave the bags in the living room and come down to the basement with me.” He instructed.

 Frank nodded and did as he was told, walking into the living room to place the bags in front of the couch the coffee table carefully. He took his jackets off as well, draping Gerard’s pea coat over the back of the sofa as well as his own, new leather jacket  before turning back to follow Gerard. He glanced up at Andy again, watching as his drool dribbled out of his slack mouth and fell to the floor as Gerard began to carry him down the hallway. He was so nervous. He felt _sick_. His stomach was churning uncomfortably as he trailed a few steps behind Gerard. Normally he would walk next to him, his hand either laced with his or with his body pressed against him. But he didn’t want to be near Andy. He knew he was unconscious, but he still made Frank extremely uncomfortable. Gerard understood this, of course. He knew that Frank wasn’t exactly at _ease_ with what was happening. So he let him walk behind him and just kept listening out for his light footsteps trailing behind him to make sure he was still following him.

“D-do I really have to do this…?” Frank spoke up once they reached the basement door, his eyes cast to the floor as he kicked at the ground shyly.

Gerard turned to look over at Frank, his head shaking a little as he sighed. He wished that Frank would be more excited about this, but he knew he just needed to work on it a little bit. Soon enough Frank would enjoy it just as much as he did. “Yes, Frank.” He answered as he started to unlock the door. “Now, go down in front of me please and turn on the light. The switch is on the left when you open the bottom door.” He instructed, not wanting to give Frank any time to whine or argue about how he didn’t want to do this.

Frank nodded obediently, knowing that Gerard was getting tired of his protesting. “Yes, Sir.” He murmured before peeking down the dimly lit staircase with unease.

“Frankie…” Gerard’s voice whispered behind him, his tone gentle and reassuring now. “Go on, sweetheart. It’s okay. These stairs are safe. I use them all the time.” He ensured. He knew how anxious basements seemed to make Frank, even though he still wasn’t exactly sure _why_.

Frank nodded, glad that at Gerard was at least trying to comfort him about this. “Okay…” Frank mumbled as he began to take a hesitant step forward. Slowly he made his way down the stairs, glancing back up at Gerard every few seconds just to assure himself that he was there. He couldn’t stand to be going down there alone.

Once his feet landed on solid ground, he opened the lower door and reached inside, dragging his fingers over the left wall in a blind search for the light switch. He exhaled softly once he found it, and lifted it up. The bright fluorescent lights flickered on one at a time, slowly illuminating the room with a blinding light. Frank squeaked when he felt a hand on his shoulder, his eyes wide as he quickly turned to see that it was only Gerard and not some rabid creature that was after his blood.

“Go on…” Gerard said, giving Frank another little nudge after he leaned in to press a small kiss to the top of his head.

Frank whimpered as he peeked his head into the room, his stomach sinking when he saw the chair that Randal had been tied to. It looked a lot different now that it wasn’t covered in blood. Frank’s eyes scanned over the floor around it, inspecting it for any sign of blood but of course he didn’t find any. Gerard was too organized and methodical to leave any behind. “Frank, keep going. He’s starting to get heavy.” Gerard grunted, hoisting Andy up a little as he started to slip.

“S-sorry.” Frank stammered as he shuffled forward, his eyes looking down to the bleached white tiles.

Gerard began to walk around Frank now, moving to sit Andy down in the chair. “Okay…” Gerard sighed as he looked over to Frank, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Do you see that rope over there?” He asked as he pointed to the silver metal tables. “It’s on the little shelf there, under those tables against the wall.”

Frank’s gaze followed Gerard’s fingers and he nodded once he saw what he was talking about. “Yeah?”

“Alright, bring it over here,” The older man instructed. “and one of those big knifes too so I can cut it. Don’t even think about trying anything with it.” Gerard warned, remembering how Frank had stabbed him before. But that had only been a butter knife. He could only imagine how much damage Frank could inflict with one of his _good_ knives.

Frank nodded again, feeling guilty as he dropped his eyes down to Gerard’s side where he had stabbed him. “I won’t.” He promised before walking over to the tables. After he bent down to grab the rope, he carefully reached for one of the larger knives on the table. They were so shiny – so _sharp._ It was a little intimidating to hold something like it in his hands. “I-is this one okay?” He asked, waiting for Gerard to nod in confirmation before walking it over to him.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Gerard cooed as he took the items from Frank. He then crouched down in front of the chair, setting the knife down and beginning to unravel the rope. “Here, sit down with me. I’m going to teach you how to do this.” He told Frank, patting the cold floor beside him. Frank had no choice but to obey, and he shifted to carefully lower himself down next to Gerard. He really didn’t want to learn how to do this. He wanted to go back upstairs and just let Gerard do all of this by himself. But it a perfect world, not even _Gerard_ would be doing this. Though, Frank knew that the world he lived in wasn’t anywhere _near_ perfect. Him being there was just an example of that.

Gerard smiled over at Frank, obviously feeling a lot different about the situation than he was. He couldn’t believe that he was actually getting to teach Frank how to tie someone up securely. He was so excited. “Alright, you need to make sure that you measure out the right amount so you can actually make the knot.” Gerard began to explain to Frank, showing him how he used his forearm to estimate the length. “You’d just use about seven to eight lengths of it, but really you just have to adjust how much you use depending on how big the person is. And since your arms are a little shorter than mine, you might want to add just one more length of it when you measure it just so you have the extra rope to work with.” He said as he held the rope up to Frank’s forearm, showing the difference in size. “It’s better to have more rope than you need than to not have enough, you know?”

Frank nodded to show he understood, keeping his arm held out as he looked back up to Gerard. His eyes looked so bright, almost as if they were glittering with excitement and glee. It made it seem like he wasn’t currently showing him how to tie someone up properly so he could torture and kill them without them getting loose. God, Gerard just looked so _happy_. “Then what…?” Frank asked, trying to ignore the unconscious man sitting in the chair in front of them. Maybe if Frank just helped him with this part, then Gerard would let him go upstairs instead of making him help him kill Andy.

Gerard smiled at Frank and picked up the knife. “Then you cut the amount of rope you’d need.” He explained, easily cutting through the rope and holding it up. “You’ll need to do that four times – one for each extremity, of course. But for the ankles make sure to use a little more rope since the legs are typically thicker.” He explained. Frank nodded and continued to watch as Gerard brought one section of the rope to Andy’s wrist. “Now, watch closely okay? I’m going to tie this part up quickly the first time, and then I’ll go slower when I tie up his ankle.”

“Okay…” Frank murmured, feeling more and more sick as he realized that this was really happening. Gerard was _really_ teaching him how to tie someone up. He sighed and just tried to push everything into the back of his head. If he just pretended that this wasn’t real, then it wouldn’t be as bad. Frank then watched as Gerard’s nimble fingers tied the knot in quick, skillful movements. He just made it seem so effortless, the way he easily wrapped the rope around itself intricately and secured it. How was he expecting him to be able to do that?

“There.” Gerard said as soon as he tugged on it a little to make sure it wasn’t going to get loose. “Now let me do it slower for you so you can see.” He murmured as he measured out more rope to use for Andy’s legs. He made sure that Frank was paying attention as he started to tie another knot, this time explaining verbally what he was doing as he paused between each step.

“Do you think you’ve got it?” Gerard asked once he finished, moving to pass the rope over to Frank.

Frank looked down at the rope, rubbing his fingers over the rough material with apprehension. He felt so nervous. “I-I guess so…” He whispered hoarsely, suddenly feeling anxiety well up inside of him, causing him to shake a little. He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this. He was tying a man up so he could get slaughtered. He was well aware of how horrible it was that he was complying, but he was just scared of what Gerard would do if he went against him. He didn’t want to get punished. He didn’t want Gerard to hurt him.

So…with trembling fingers, Frank measured out the rope just as Gerard had taught him, and he held it out so Gerard could cut it for him. The older man did so eagerly, bringing the blade of the knife through the rope easily as he commended Frank for his good job of measuring, even though it was such a simple task. “Perfect. You did so good.” He smiled, earning a blush from Frank.

“Thanks.” Frank mumbled shyly as he brought the rope up to Andy’s wrist. He felt his heart hammering in his chest, the sudden worry of the unconscious man waking up at any moment finally hitting Frank. He could imagine the way Andy’s hand could break from his grasp at any moment and attack him. Gerard wouldn’t let that happen, would he? He wouldn’t be letting Frank do this if there was a chance of Andy waking up soon.

Frank pushed through his worries and began to tie the rope, trying desperately to remember the steps that Gerard showed him. He was fumbling, his movements uncoordinated and sloppy unlike Gerard’s had been. It was embarrassing. Frank huffed a small noise of frustration when the knot came out looking nothing like the other ones keeping Andy secured. It was loose and messy, while the ones Gerard had tied were neat and uniform. It was like he had been doing this all his life. That’s when Frank remembered that he kind of _had_ been doing it that long. Or maybe about half of it, at least. Frank turned to look back at Gerard with a hopeless expression. “I can’t do it.” He muttered with defeat.

A gentle and reassuring smile graced Gerard’s features and he gave a small shake of his head. “Yes you can, Frankie. Come on, let’s try again.” He spoke sweetly. It didn’t seem like he was encouraging Frank to tie someone up at all. Instead it appeared that he was merely trying to teach Frank to do something as simple as tie his own shoes. If only it were that easy.

Frank tried to tie the knot again, and then again when he messed up that time as well. He just couldn’t seem to get it right, and after the fourth time, Frank huffed loudly and dropped the rope to the floor. “Why don’t you just use handcuffs instead?” Frank asked, starting to feel a little exasperated since he kept failing over and over again. “Wouldn’t that just be easier?”

Gerard smiled and reached for Frank’s hands, noticing how frustrated he was getting. “I know it would be easier, but I like using ropes.” He said.

“But why?” Frank questioned, his brows knitted together as he looked up at Gerard.

Gerard exhaled a small chuckle. “I was getting to that.” He was slightly amused by Frank’s obvious frustration. He thought it was cute. “I like using rope because people always feel like they have a chance of escaping it. When you use chains or metal, people feel hopeless. They feel like there’s no possible way for them to break through them. But with rope, they just keep tugging at it and tugging at. You can see them trying so hard because they think they have a chance of maybe working the knots loose.” Gerard was beginning to get a little excited just from thinking of it, his voice dropping slightly as he continued to explain. “God, they get so desperate. They just keep thinking ‘maybe just one more tug. Just one more’, but of course they never get loose. _Never_.” Gerard’s teeth sank down into this lower lip as he stopped talking for a moment, his eyes slipping closed briefly as he steadied himself.

Frank shifted a little, realizing what was happening. God, Gerard was getting _aroused_. The thought of someone struggling and fighting to get free actually _excited_ him. Frank shouldn’t have been surprised. He remembered seeing how Gerard had acted when he was torturing Randal. He remembered that Gerard had gotten _hard_. Frank glanced down to Gerard’s lap curiously, unable to help himself. He became confused when he found himself to be a little disappointed when he saw that Gerard wasn’t exactly _fully_ aroused, so to speak. Fuck, what was wrong with him? He shouldn’t want that. He shouldn’t be hoping that Gerard was getting turned on. But…if Gerard happened to get aroused, then it would just be something for Frank to focus on instead of what he was having to do.

“Oh…okay.” Frank spoke up, his voice sounding much too loud and abrupt in the now quiet basement.

Gerard’s eyes snapped open, his pupils blown wide as his fingers twitched against Frank’s wrists. He had gotten a little distracted by his thoughts that Frank had actually startled him a little bit. Gerard swallowed thickly and shifted his hips a little, trying to quell his desires for the time being. “Yeah.” He mumbled, looking down briefly as he attempted to recall exactly what Frank had asked to make him start thinking about those kind’s of things. He looked back up when he remembered. “That’s pretty much the reason why I use ropes instead…”

Frank cleared his throat softly and ducked his head. “Makes sense.” He shrugged. He wanted to appear casual about it, even though he really _didn’t_ understand why that excited Gerard so much.

Gerard smiled again and leaned forward to kiss Frank on his lips carefully. “Yeah, I suppose it does.” He breathed with a quiet chuckle once he pulled back.

Frank’s face was flushed pink, his cheeks dark as he looked down to the white tiled floor. He couldn’t believe Gerard had just kissed him while they were sitting right in front of some unconscious man that they were tying down. Frank turned his attention back to Andy, just wanting to hurry up and get it over with, but he felt so hopeless when he tried to tie that knot. He really didn’t think he could do it. “I don’t think I can tie it, Gerard…” He voice his thoughts after a few seconds, undoing the sloppy knot and sighing.

“Nonsense, Frank.” Gerard said as he took the rope from him and brought it back to wrap around Andy’s wrist. “Here, let me see your hand.” Gerard instructed as he held the rope in place. “Hold this here.” He murmured before grabbing Frank’s other hand as well. “Now, I’m going to guide you, alright? Just follow my movements.”

Frank nodded quietly, his skin feeling hot wherever Gerard touched him, even though Gerard’s fingers were so cold. This time it went a lot easier than before. Gerard was closer to him, his side pressed up against him as he murmured the instructions quietly in his ear. His hands conducted each of his movements. By the time Gerard let go of him, the knot actually looked quite similar to the other ones, and even though Gerard had pretty much moved his hands _for_ him, he was actually a little proud.

“There we go.” Gerard said cheerily as he nuzzled against Frank’s jaw, his upturned nose rubbing against his skin affectionately. “Do you think you can do the leg by yourself, or do you want my help again?”

“I think I still need help…” Frank mumbled timidly, his voice a little reserved. He felt a little embarrassed that he still didn’t really know how to do it.

“That’s okay.” Gerard assured him as he grabbed the rope and measured it out himself this time. “It’s a pretty complicated knot. I know it took me quite sometime to actually learn it.” He said with slight amusement carried in his tone.

“Did it really, or are you just saying that to make me feel better about myself?” Frank asked cautiously. It was weird to think about Gerard not being able to do anything _perfectly_ on the first try. Everything about Gerard seemed to exude skill and elegance. He seemed like the kind of person that could do _anything_ without messing up.

Gerard chuckled and shook his head, cutting the rope again and setting the knife down carefully. “I promise, Frank. It took a lot of practice, and it’s going to take _you_ a lot of practice too.” He said as he brought the length of the rope to wrap around Andy’s ankle and the leg of the chair.

Frank looked down at the floor again, feeling his heart sink into his stomach. The reality of this was finally starting to settle in. Gerard was going to keep making him do this. He wasn’t going to just stop after this one time. How had Frank even thought that in the first place? Gerard had been killing since he was Frank’s age. This wasn’t just a hobby of his anymore. This was a _part_ of him now. “Hey, are you okay?” Gerard’s gentle voice broke through his thoughts, and he looked up at him.

“Y-yeah…” He murmured in response, obviously lying.

Gerard exhaled softly and reached for Frank’s hands. He knew that Frank was probably having some mixed feelings at the moment, so he just had to push through it. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s tie this next one.” He said instead of pressing Frank to tell him what was wrong.

Frank obliged and let Gerard guide his fingers again. This time the knot was tied much quicker, as Frank was starting to get a feel for it now, and it had to be the best one that Frank had done so far. He sat back once they were finished, his gaze scanning over Andy and sighing. He was officially secured to the chair now; there was no way he could escape. Frank looked back to Gerard, who was also looking at Andy now, but his expression was one of pride. He was obviously very pleased with the job they did. “So…am I done now?” Frank asked meekly, beginning to shift a little when Gerard turned to give him a perplexed gaze.

“’Are you done’?” Gerard asked, repeating Frank’s question.

“Yeah…can I go upstairs now that I helped you?” Frank elaborated, his eyes wide and hopeful as he scooted closer to Gerard, hoping that his puppy eyes would persuade him to let him leave. He even went so far as to rub his hand over the man’s lower stomach, his fingers beginning to tease the hem of Gerard’s shirt.

Gerard’s breathing hitched in his throat when he felt Frank’s hand on him, his stomach lurching slightly from the pleasurable contact. “Mmh, Frank…” He whispered. Was this really happening? Was Frank trying to tease him like that while they were down in the basement with someone tied to a chair? That was pretty close to some of his fantasies, and maybe with a little bit of work Gerard would get to fully experience them.

“Yeah?” Frank rasped, leaning forward to press his face into the crook of Gerard’s neck. He swiped his tongue over his skin, tasting the salt of his sweat and groaning in his ear. He was trying so desperately to convince Gerard to let him leave the basement, and he knew that it had to be working at least a little bit since Gerard’s hands were reaching forward to grip at his waist, and he could feel his pulse racing beneath his lips.

“Fuck.” Gerard hissed as he tipped his head back, a familiar heat beginning to pool in his gut. Frank’s mouth felt so _incredible_. He never wanted him to stop. Gerard exhaled a shaky moan, his hips twitching up as he closed his eyes.

“Can I please go upstairs, Sir?” He asked in the most submissive and innocent voice he could muster as he leaned back to look into Gerard’s eyes. He daringly slid his hand down to the front of Gerard’s pants and began to rub at his crotch, petting over him slowly and deliberately.

Gerard gasped and bucked his hips up into Frank’s touch, unaware that this was all just a ploy to trick him into giving the boy what he wanted. “Frank, I don’t—“ Gerard interrupted himself with a breathy groan, suddenly grabbing a fistful of Frank’s hair and slamming their mouths together.

Frank squeaked against Gerard’s lips, his hand floundering briefly as he felt Gerard’s tongue swiping over his lower lip, begging for entrance. Frank gave it to him, opening his mouth and allowing for Gerard to lick inside. His plan was backfiring now. Because his original goal was to get Gerard to let him leave, but now all he could think about was how good it felt to kiss him, and how he was actually starting to want _more_. “ _Gerard_.” Frank panted as he moved to sit in Gerard’s lap, his legs spreading to straddle him. He pressed his chest close to his, his hands sliding up to clutch desperately at the front of Gerard’s shirt.

Gerard began to shift his hips up a little, his eyes rolling back in his head when he felt the friction of Frank’s crotch rubbing against his own. Pleasure sparked deep inside of him, little sparks bursting in his veins. “Fuck…” He grunted deep and throatily. He grabbed Frank’s hips, digging his nails into him as he yanked him closer. Gerard slowly began to drag his lips over the slope of Frank’s neck, licking and biting at it. It seemed so surreal that Frank was sitting in his lap grinding against him. It felt so _good._ But Gerard suddenly remembered where they were. They were down in his basement with a man tied to a chair. They had to take care of that before they could do anything else. “F-Frank, wait…” He whispered, pulling away and shaking his head. “Wait.” He repeated.

Frank whined and stilled his movements, his body feeling like it was wound tight. “P-please. L-lets just go upstairs. Yeah?” Frank began to beg. “Please, Gerard. _Please_. I n-need it.” His voice sounded shot; it wavered as he struggled to speak. He just wanted the both of them to leave the basement. He wanted Gerard to just forget about Andy for now and let them both go upstairs. Frank was desperate for relief and he wanted to get out of the basement.

Gerard shook his head and bit down on his lip, never thinking that he would ever have to decline Frank’s advances. Well, he wasn’t really _declining_ them; he was merely postponing them until later. “Frankie, _both_ of us need to stay down here, and we need to finish what we started.” He said as he pulled back a little more, carefully lifting the smaller boy off of his lap so he could began to stand up on shaky legs. Sitting on the floor hadn’t been to good for his joints, and Frank’s weight on his legs had cut the circulation off a little bit as well, so he was just slightly wobbly.

Frank whimpered as he looked up at Gerard, his eyes falling back down to the way his cock was pressing against the front of his jeans right there in front of him. In a last ditch sort of effort to get Gerard to change his mind, Frank pushed himself forward and nuzzled against the bulge, his eyes closing as he inhaled the musky scent that radiated from that area. Gerard’s knees buckled and a sharp breath was sucked into his lungs. “Christ.” He groaned before grabbing Frank’s hair and yanking him back. He looked down at him with dark eyes, his grip tight in his hair as he kept him held back. “What did I tell you?” He gritted out. Frank was making this extremely hard for him.

“I’m sorry.” Frank gasped as he struggled to swallow with the way his head was yanked back. “I’m s-sorry, Sir.” He whimpered as he reached up to loop his fingers around Gerard’s wrist. He didn’t try to pull him off, since he knew better, but Gerard’s grip was actually starting to hurt him. He could feel a dull throbbing start to resonate in his skull. “I p-promise I-I’ll behave now.” He whispered, his eyes wide as he looked up at Gerard. God, he just looked so incredibly authoritative like that, the way he was staring down at Frank with a look filled with dominance.

Gerard stared down at Frank, seeming to scrutinize him. While he had thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of Frank nuzzling against him, he couldn’t allow for Frank to think that he could get away with not obeying him. “Good.” He said coldly. Gerard let go of Frank’s hair, letting him drop his head down and rub over his scalp. “Come on, stand up.” He instructed, letting Frank take his hand as he hoisted him up easily.

Frank wobbled a little when he stood up and bowed his head. He didn’t like getting chastised, but he knew that it was better than getting hurt. “Are you mad at me?” Frank found himself asking as Gerard started to gather the excess rope and the knife that they used.

Gerard placed the rope back where it was before sitting the knife onto the silver table. “No, Frankie. I’m not mad at you.” He assured him as he began to walk over to one of the tall, white cabinets he had by the corner and pulled it open. “I just need you to listen to me when I tell you to do things.” He said as an explanation.

“I’m sorry.” Frank apologized again, and Gerard just nodded as he reached into the cabinet and pulled out a long, thick piece of cloth along with two white aprons. “What’s that for?” Frank’s voice asked from behind him, making the older man turn to him. Frank nodded towards the cloth curiously, as he knew what the aprons were for. He had seen Gerard wearing one when he killed Randal. A shudder scampered up Frank’s spine at the thought, and he tried to forget that he was going to have to do the same thing.

“This is to gag him.” Gerard stated simply as he waved the white fabric around. Frank noticed that he really seemed to like the stark, clean color. Almost everything in the basement was white if it wasn’t some sort of silver metal. Gerard had a reason for this, of course. He liked everything to be white because then he could see the blood better.

“To gag him?” Frank echoed, glancing back to Andy curiously, catching an apron as Gerard tossed one to him. He hesitantly put it on, looping it around his head before wrapping the string around his torso and tying it, Gerard doing the same.

“Well, I figured you would want that, wouldn’t you?” Gerard asked as he walked over to Andy with long, precise strides, smoothing his hand over the front of his apron. “People tend to say some pretty harsh things when they’re about to die at your hands, and while it doesn’t bother _me_ anymore, I assumed that you wouldn’t really enjoy it too much.” He explained.

“Oh…”

“Am I right about that?” Gerard asked, stepping behind the chair Andy was tied to and wrapping the gag around his head. He moved it back and forth a little to make sure it was actually sliding into his mouth. He leaned over to look, inspecting the way it stuffed his mouth before tugging the ends of the cloth tight and securing it in a knot.

“Yes…” Frank answered as he watched the way Andy’s jaw now looked like it was straining with how the gag was crammed into his mouth. Frank began to work his own jaw a little, wiggling it back and forth as he rubbed over it with his fingers. He remembered when Gerard had gagged _him_. It had been pretty uncomfortable, but Gerard had obviously not been as rough when he did it to him. The cloth hadn’t been as thick, nor had it been wrapped so tightly around his head. He was feeling rather grateful that he hadn’t been one of Gerard’s victims.

Gerard nodded, having been expecting that answer. “Not to mention this keeps their screams quiet too. Which…I usually like them.” Gerard admitted. “But I know that you don’t.” He added. Hopefully that would change over time. Hopefully Frank would become accustomed to it.

Frank shook his head. He couldn’t understand how someone’s screams of agony and desperation could ever be appealing to someone. Frank then looked up to Andy’s eyes, wondering if Gerard was going to cover those too. “What about his eyes?”

“Hm?” Gerard asked as he walked over to Frank and glanced back towards Andy. “What about them?”

“Are you going to cover those too?” Frank said as he began to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. He really didn’t like the idea of Andy being able to see him.

“Why would I cover them?” Gerard said.

“I don’t want him to see me.” Frank tried to explain, hoping that Gerard would understand.

“Frank…” Gerard sighed as he stepped closer, hooking his finger under the boy’s chin and tilting his head up. “It’s not about him being able to see _you._ It’s about _you_ being able to look into his eyes once he dies. You need to see the fear, the _hatred_. You need to watch as the life fades from them because of what you’ve done.” His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke – a complete contrast to the horrid things he was saying.

Frank’s lower lip began to quiver, his eyes wide with dread. That sounded _appalling._ Why did he need to see those things? “W-why?” His voice cracked as he stared into Gerard’s ever piercing hazel eyes.

A small sigh escaped through Gerard’s mouth and he licked over his lips briefly. “Because the eyes are important.” He whispered almost cryptically. “The eyes are always important…” Gerard flashed back to the first time he ever saw the lifeless gaze of a dead body, though that night it was actually _three_ dead bodies. The worst had been seeing Mikey’s. His eyes had always been so full of life and wonder, but not after he was dead. Not as Gerard had cradled him to his chest and begged him to come back to him. The completely empty, far away gaze had stuck with Gerard. It had locked itself in Gerard’s mind and was always, _always_ staring at him. So Gerard had to stare _back_. He had to look into the eyes of the deceased and stand his ground to show that he wasn’t weak. That _he_ was the one who had the power, and not the eyes that haunted him.

Frank felt a shiver wrack over his spine from the way Gerard was just staring at him now, like he was just looking _through_ him instead of _at_ him.  He could feel his fingers starting to twitch under his chin, causing him to grow more anxious. What was going on with him? “G-Gerard?” He whispered, almost too afraid to speak.

Frank’s voice jarred Gerard from his thoughts and he blinked rapidly. “Sorry…I was thinking.” He mumbled as he pulled back. “But …you just- you have to look. Okay? You _have_ to.”

Frank nodded, not understanding why it was so important, but too worried to actually try to go against him. “Yes, Sir.” He spoke softly.

“Good.” Gerard cleared his throat and began to pet through Frank’s hair, his fingers eventually calming and no longer trembling since he was close to Frank. He turned to look back at Andy, gauging how long he had been passed out. “He should be waking up rather soon…” He informed Frank as he began to walk him over to the metal tables.

Frank felt his stomach twist in discomfort and dread as he thought about what that meant. “S-so what do we do now?” He asked quietly.

“We simply wait.” Gerard answered as he leaned back against the table, wrapping his arm around Frank’s waist when he did the same.

Frank sighed and snuggled close into Gerard’s side, closing his eyes and trying to block everything out. He didn’t want to do this. It all just felt so surreal. It was like he was in a dream, or a _nightmare_. Frank pulled back a little to peek back at the tables, his eyes looking over all of the different knives and assorted weapons and tools. He suddenly began to shake, his small frame trembling against Gerard as he whimpered brokenly.

“What is it, Sweetheart?” Gerard cooed as soon as he felt Frank shivering.

Frank choked out a pathetic sound and sniffled, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. “I-I don’t want to torture him…” He stammered, voice barely audible. But Gerard’s ears managed to pick up what he was saying.

“Oh, Frankie, no…” Gerard said softly, turning so Frank could bury his face in his chest. “No, I wasn’t going to make you torture him. Did I forget to explain that?” He asked while his nails scratched soothingly over Frank’s back.

Frank glanced up at Gerard, his brows tugged together. “N-no…you didn’t. “

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Gerard apologized. “I didn’t think you were ready for that yet, you know? I didn’t want to just push you into it all the way on your first time.” 

Frank played those words over and over again in his head. His _first_ time. Just knowing that Gerard really did expect him to do this again made him feel nauseous. But he was at least grateful that Gerard wasn’t making him properly torture Andy. He decided to focus on the relief that gave him instead of the absolute sickening feeling of dread that threatened to overcome him. Frank sniffled again and shoved his face against Gerard’s chest again, listening to his heartbeat to help calm himself down. “Thank you.” He mumbled, showing his gratitude.

Gerard sighed again and just kept his arms wrapped firmly around Frank. “Of course.” Gerard murmured, leaning down to pepper Frank’s hair with kisses. “Even _I_ had to work up to actually torturing them.” He confessed, making Frank look up at him with confusion.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Well…you know.” Gerard sighed. “When I first started doing this…I had no idea what I was doing. Hell, I was actually _nervous_.” He chuckled, thinking back to the way he had felt the first time he had intentionally killed someone.

“You were nervous?” Frank whispered, disbelief lacing his voice.

Gerard hummed a noise of confirmation. “Yes. _Extremely_ so. I didn’t really have any experience and there wasn’t really anyone I could _ask_ for advice.” He said as he reached up to tuck the curl of Frank’s fringe behind his ear. “So I had to figure it all out on my own. Which…there was quite a bit of trial and error. I was clumsy and inexperienced.” He sighed softly and shook his head. “But, eventually I figured out how to do things right and what things I liked best, and I stopped being nervous. I stopped being hesitant and I just let myself fully enjoy it.”

Frank was finding it hard to imagine Gerard, young and fresh to this just like he was. He couldn’t picture him being anxious, his movements shaky and unpracticed as he killed someone. Frank had seen him kill Randal. He had seemed so certain with everything he did – so confident. He had zero hesitation. It kind of frightened him to know that Gerard used to be just like him. He never wanted to get so used to killing someone that it was just like a second nature to him. “You should just be glad that you’re not having to do this on your own.” Gerard said with a faint smile, but Frank didn’t really feel the same. He would rather _not_ be doing this. “You know…after this I can tell you all about my first time.” Gerard offered, obviously excited at the prospect of sharing that memory. He hadn’t ever told anyone about it before. “I mean, not my first time _technically,_ but the first time I did it on purpose.” He elaborated.

Frank forced a smile. “Alright…” He agreed. He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to know about the details of Gerard killing for the first time.

Gerard had noticed the way Frank’s grin seemed a little strained, but before he could address it he heard a faint, muffled groan. He quickly turned to look at Andy and saw that he was finally starting to wake. “Oh…It looks like the fun is starting.” Gerard said, his his head ducking down as he spoke softly in Frank’s ear.

Frank shivered and glanced over to Andy, watching the way his head lolled back limply as he tried to fight through the remnants of the drugs pumping through his system that were keeping him subdued. Oh god, this was really happening. He was really going to do this. Frank moved his hand up to his stomach, groaning softly as he felt nausea creep up inside of him. “I…I don’t wanna do this.” Frank whispered for what had to be the hundredth time.

Gerard’s gaze dropped down to Frank’s distraught expression. “Come on, Frankie. It’s going to be quick.” He promised. “I won’t make you drag it out, okay?…Even if he deserves it.” He added under his breath.

Frank whimpered and shook his head. Now it was really hitting him. Up until that point Frank had some tiny glimmer of hope that just _maybe_ Gerard would change his mind. But that tiny little flame had been smothered and stamped out viciously. Frank realized that he really wasn’t getting out of this. Gerard was truly going to make him kill this man and he didn’t have any say in the matter.

“Stay right here.” Gerard whispered before suddenly leaving Frank to stand by the metal tables, which of course the boy was happy to oblige. He didn’t want to go anywhere near Andy. Suddenly Frank watched Gerard transform right in front of his eyes. He straightened his back, his head tilting up as he clasped his hands behind him. His whole demeanor changed – the air around him shifting as he began to exude confidence and control. Each of his movements were precise and calculated, every shift of his expression intentional and done with purpose. He seemed to be a completely different person than just a few seconds ago. He didn’t look as loose or relaxed. He was rigid and firm – cold.

Gerard lifted his hand and smacked Andy’s cheek a few times in an attempt to help him wake up. He was starting to grow a little impatient with how long it was taking him. Normally he had no problem with waiting so long, but there were special circumstances this time. This time _Frank_ was there. He was so incredibly excited to do this with Frank.

Andy struggled with his heavy eyelids, fluttering them open to reveal a blurry, humanoid shape in front of him. He continued to blink rapidly, trying to get his eyes to adjust, but the bright lights were making it difficult. His head was throbbing, his mouth feeling dry as his entire body ached. “I think he’s finally awake.” Andy heard someone say, but the voice sounded somewhat familiar… Andy attempted to bring his hand up to try to rub the sleep from his eyes, but he became even more confused when it felt like something was holding him down. He looked down at himself, his vision finally clearing to reveal that he was tied up. His brows furrowed and he tugged at the restraints, but he was still so weak. He didn’t understand what was happening, his brain seeming to run at only a third of its usual speed.

“Good morning.” Gerard canted with an unamused, stony expression.

Andy blinked hard, willing the blurriness out of his eyes and finally focusing on the man in front of him. He was surprised to realize that it was the man he had met at the bar. He didn’t understand what he was doing there. He had thought that they were going to hook up, but it was beginning to look like they had other ideas. When Gerard was sure that Andy was now becoming fully awake, he turned back to Frank, giving him a secretive little smile and walking over to him. “Now…” Gerard spoke so only Frank could hear. “Stand up straight, and don’t look so scared. You can’t let him see that it bothers you, Frank.” He instructed, nudging Frank’s chin up with his fingers.

Frank’s eyes were shining with unshed tears and he sniffled. “Please don’t make me…” He begged as he pressed close to Gerard, but he knew it wouldn’t work.

“Frank.” Gerard sighed and pulled back. “Come on, dry your eyes. You can’t let him see you like this.” He said as he wiped his thumb over Frank’s cheek.

Frank looked away and silently bowed his head. He had already known that it was pointless to argue. He looked back up after wiping the back of his hands over his eyes. “Yes, Sir.” He said in a watery voice before clearing his throat and watching Gerard.

Gerard picked up one of the larger knives from the table, lifting up to inspect it like he always did. He reached up with his index finger and very gently rested it over the point of it before pulling it away to see a drop of blood welling up from the tip of his finger. He smeared his blood around between his thumb before he sucked his finger into his mouth. He licked over the small amount of blood, the slight metallic taste coating his tongue before he glanced back to Frank to see that he had been staring at him. “You have to make sure your knife is sharp enough, Frankie.” He explained after pulling his finger out of his mouth with a soft ‘ _pop_ ’. Frank only nodded in return, a small sniffle escaping him as he glanced to the floor.

Gerard reached for Frank’s hand, turning the large knife around and placing the handle of it onto his palm. Frank looked up at him with wide, startled eyes and began to shake his head frantically. “G-Gerard—“

“No, Frank. Come on, close your fingers.” Gerard interrupted him before he could try to protest anymore. When Frank didn’t listen, Gerard wrapped his hand around his fingers and forced him to close them tight around the handle of the blade. Frank whined a small noise and tried to let go, but Gerard wouldn’t let him. “Let’s go, Frank. Come on.” He said as he began to push Frank towards Andy, ignoring Frank’s little whimpers as he shuffled closer. Of course Gerard hated to see Frank so uncomfortable and upset, but it was just a small price to pay. It would all be worth it when Frank _killed_ Andy.

Gerard stepped around Frank to stand behind him, moving to press himself against his back. “Go on…keep walking forward.” He urged as he nudged Frank a little.

Frank’s grip on the knife was tight, his knuckles going white as he began to tremble. “P-please.” He whispered to Gerard as he got closer, finally making eye contact with Andy. He looked so _angry_.

“Lift the knife up, Frankie. Come on…” Gerard whispered, ignoring Frank’s pleas. He reached around Frank, grabbing his hands and moving them to lift up, making him hold the knife out. He hummed low in his throat, pressing himself firmly against the boy as he started to grow heated again. Frank pressed back against Gerard firmly, trying to keep himself from moving any close to Andy again, but Gerard just _kept_ pushing him relentlessly. It was much too soon to Frank that he was standing right in front of the other man. He could feel his stomach churning as he looked him over, nausea creeping up inside of him.

“Please…please don’t make me.” Frank begged, his voice almost silent as he turned his head to bury in the side of Gerard’s neck.

“Frank, this man deserves it.” Gerard insisted. “He deserves to die, don’t you think?”

Frank didn’t like to admit it, but he really did feel like this man deserved to die. Normally Frank never felt like he had the right to make that kind of judgment, but the things that this man had done…Frank knew that he deserved death. He was sick, he was _disgusting._ He preyed on _children_. He deserved _more_ than death. He deserved to be tortured and consumed with agony. He deserved Gerard’s wrath, but sadly Frank was the one that was having to kill him, and Frank didn’t have the same capability of violence.

“Yes.” Frank finally answered, and he didn’t miss the way Andy’s eyes lit up with rage. He flinched back when Andy jerked against the ropes, his angry voice spitting out muffled insults from behind his gag. He was furious. He was angry that he had been tricked, and he was angry that he was tied to a chair in some strange place, and he was angry that they were saying that he deserved to die. But most of all…Andy was scared.

“Mm, that’s right. He _does_.” Gerard said right in Frank’s ear, his voice low and hushed as he nudged his nose along Frank’s jaw. “So come on, Frank. Do it.”

Frank trembled a little, whimpering like a small dog and pressing himself back firmly against Gerard. “P-p-please.”

“ _Do it_ , Frank.” Gerard whispered sharply, his breath puffing against Frank’s ear.

“N-no.” Frank whimpered, trying to bring the knife back down, but Gerard’s grip on his wrist tightened and kept it held up.

“ _Do it._ ” Gerard said more sternly. Frank had to do this. He was just so _close_. “ _Now_.”

Tears began to well up in Frank’s eyes again. He couldn’t. He just _couldn’t_. He watched as Andy struggled against the ropes that he had helped tie, his muffled noises reaching his ears. This man was about to die. He fleetingly wondered what that was like. He wondered how he would handle it if he were tied up, knowing that he was about to get killed, his life just thrown away like it was nothing. Sure, this man had done some terrible things – _horrible_ things – but Frank didn’t want to be the one to kill him. He wanted Gerard to do it instead. He wanted to just run upstairs and pretend that Gerard was just hanging out in his basement _not_ killing someone. Then Gerard could come back up and he could act like nothing had happened and Frank would be okay.

“I-I c-can’t.” Frank choked out through his tears. He closed his eyes and whimpered, leaning back against Gerard for support as he started to feel weak.

Gerard shook his head and leaned down to kiss over Frank’s throat. “Yes you can.” He assured, guiding Frank’s hands to rest the tip of the knife right below Andy’s sternum, making the man stop his struggling and go completely still. “Just push it right into here.”

A mangled sob ripped out of Frank’s throat. “I _can’t_!” He suddenly shouted, his voice raw with desperation for Gerard to understand.

“Yes you _can_!” Gerard yelled back. He just needed to keep pushing him. Frank could do this. “And you _will_! Do it, Frank! Do it!” He insisted loudly, his grip tightening as he kept Frank’s hands wrapped around the handle of the knife. “ _Kill_ him! Do it, do it!” Gerard’s voice was getting louder and more frantic, causing Frank to panic and hyperventilate as Gerard just kept urging him. “Kill him! Do it _now_!”

Frank began to shake violently. Gerard’s yelling was becoming too much. It was messing with his head, making him panic and keeping him from being able to think straight. He wanted it to _stop_. He _needed_ it to stop. “Stop it!” Frank cried out as his entire body trembled violently.

Gerard snarled and shouted again. “No!” His voice was intense and filled with ferocity, shaking Frank all the way down to his core. “You’re going to kill him _now_!” He roared before suddenly with a strangled scream Frank pushed his hands forward and shoved the knife into Andy’s stomach, burying it to the hilt. Gerard’s eyes widened, as did Frank’s. “Yes. _Yes._ ” Frank heard Gerard’s voice whispering in his ear. At least he was no longer yelling.

Andy lurched and coughed as the pain overwhelmed him, his fingers flexing and holding onto the arms of the chair, but Gerard wasn’t done. “Again.” He hissed, his hips shifting a little, and Frank realized that he was rubbing against him.

“N-no, p-please I just—“

“ _Again_!” Gerard interrupted him loudly, startling Frank and making him sob and pull the knife out before plunging it back into Andy’s stomach. “Fuck, keep going.” Gerard urged, listening to the wet slide of the blade as it pulled in and out of the flesh. Frank was crying now, tears sliding down his face as Gerard kept making him stab Andy.

Frank suddenly squeaked when he felt one of Gerard’s hands slide over his crotch and begin to palm at it firmly. “G-Gerard—“ He began, wanting to just stop.

“Shh…” Gerard hushed him as he began to kiss and nip at the side of Frank’s throat, his fingers still rubbing over his crotch. “Keep going until I say to stop.”

Frank whimpered and pulled the knife back out before he felt his hips twitch forward. God, of course Gerard’s touch was having an effect on him. Even though he really didn’t want it to, he could still feel his length starting to twitch and swell. It was just like the last time when he had seen Gerard kill Randal. He remembered feeling some odd sense of arousal at watching Gerard, but it hadn’t been because he was killing someone. It had only been because he saw how it was affecting the older man. Gerard had just been so obviously aroused that it had affected Frank a little bit. But now it was happening again, only this time Gerard was actually _touching_ him, so the feeling was much more concentrated. It certainly wasn’t helping that he could feel Gerard’s erection pressing firmly against his ass.

Frank shoved the knife into Andy’s stomach again with a whimper, his hands now starting to become slick with his warm blood. It was making him _sick_. Gerard on the other hand was _loving_ it. He could actually feel Frank’s length shift beneath his touch, and the way that Andy was lurching each time he was stabbed was _incredible_. Gerard could tell that he would be dead very soon. “Mmh, come on, Frankie. Just one more.” He whispered as he shifted his hips against Frank’s ass again. “Make it good, baby.”

Frank whined a quiet noise, wanting to shove Gerard’s hand off of him. But his hands didn’t seem to want to let go of the knife. It’s as if it were a part of him now – a mere extension of himself. Finally, hoping that Gerard really meant _one more_ , he shoved the blade deep into Andy’s gut, even going so far as to twist it just in hopes that Gerard would be satisfied. The knife squelched wetly, blood seeping and spurting out a little with the counterclockwise movement. Andy barely even shifted from that, obviously fading out and dying. Frank found himself looking at his eyes, watching them flutter and slip closed as his head slumped forward limply.

“You’re done now, Frank…” Gerard whispered in a gravely voice, his tone thick with arousal as he reached around Frank and held two of his fingers against Andy’s throat. There was no pulse fluttering beneath his touch, it was completely void of any movement. “You killed him.”  

Frank immediately pulled back as soon as Gerard allowed for it, his hand slipping away from the knife as he looked over Andy’s dead body. _He_ did that. _He_ had _killed_ him. Fuck, Frank was a _murderer_. He watched the blood leaking out of each of the wounds slowly, his eyes staring at the handle of the blade as it just stuck out of him. “O-oh god.” Frank mumbled, feeling a little light headed as he stumbled back a little more. Gerard caught him, his smile never wavering as he looked back between Andy and Frank. It felt like this was all a _dream_ for him. It was perfect.

Frank looked down at his hands, sucking in a shuddering breath and quickly wiping the blood off onto his apron. He tugged it off over his head, and tossed the stained fabric to the ground. His stomach was starting to churn violently, and suddenly he felt bile rising out of his throat, his stomach clenching as he hunched over and puked with barely any warning. The foul taste flooded Frank’s mouth and he retched loudly, the noises echoing sharply in the room as he emptied his stomach out. He could feel Gerard’s cool touch on the back of his neck, his fingers dragging over his skin. The cold temperature actually quelled his nausea a little, but he still felt so _sick_.

“Shh, shh,” Gerard cooed. “Come on, it’s okay. You’re okay, sweetheart.” He murmured. He felt terrible that Frank had gotten sick, but he knew that Frank was new to this. He didn’t have the stomach for this yet, but he would. He just needed to get used to it. Gerard hummed and began to rub over Frank’s back, listening to him spit out the taste of vomit. “You did so good, Frankie. God, you have no idea how _proud_ I am of you.” He began to praise as Frank wiped the drool from his face.

Frank absolutely _despised_ how warm he felt inside as Gerard told him how good he did. “You’re such a good boy, Frank. Fuck, I love you so much.” He listened to Gerard babble proudly as he spat out onto the floor again, trying not to look at the pool of vomit as he grimaced. “Mm, I loved watching you do that, baby. I loved seeing you kill him.” Gerard purred, his tone of voice shifting to become one of arousal. Frank whimpered at that. He couldn’t believe he had killed someone. “You should be rewarded, Frank. What do you think?” Gerard hummed, slowly reaching his hand around Frank and brushing his fingers over Frank’s half hard erection. God, Frank couldn’t believe he still had that after everything had happened.

Gerard leaned down, pressing his chest against Frank’s back and beginning to kiss over the side of Frank’s throat. It was a rather awkward position with the way Frank was hunched over, but it didn’t seem to be hindering Gerard’s ability to keep himself pressed as close to him as possible. “Come on, Frankie. Let me take care of you, yeah?” He rasped, his teeth scraping over the skin below Frank’s ear, causing the younger man to shudder. “Fuck, I just need you, Frank. Seeing you like that was just so… _exciting_.” He huffed, shifting his hips forward a little to show Frank just how _excited_ he was, but Frank had already been quite aware of Gerard’s hard on. It would have been impossible to be oblivious to it with the way Gerard had kept grinding against him earlier. “Let me touch you right here. Let me lie you out on one of these tables, yeah?” He panted, and that was just too much for Frank.

“God, you sick _fuck_.” Frank hissed as he unexpectedly shoved Gerard back off of him, causing the older man to stumble slightly before catching his balance. He quickly spun around and looked at Gerard with disgust. How could he possibly even _think_ that Frank would want to fool around in front of a _dead_ body. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yelled accusingly as Gerard just stared at him wide-eyed.

“F-Frankie… Why are you—“

“Don’t you ’ _Frankie_ ’ me, Gerard. I can’t- I can’t _believe_ that you made me _kill_ someone. I can’t believe I did that.” Frank’s voice began to break, hot tears welling up in his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. “I _hate_ you.” Frank spat, staring up at Gerard through his watery eyes.

Gerard stood there frozen, that word impaling his heart painfully. Frank didn’t hate him. Frank _couldn’t_ hate him, right? “You don’t mean that, Frank.” Gerard said, speaking slowly as he carefully stepped to Frank. His stomach was clenching again, pain lashing out at his internal organs as he began to twitch.

“Yes I _do_.” Frank insisted, his small body shaking as he was overwhelmed with so many emotions. He took a step back to match the one Gerard took forward, trying to keep the distance between them. “I hate you for making me _kill_ that man.”

Gerard shook his head and took another step forward, not much enjoying the little dance they were doing. “Frank, I know you don’t like it right now, but you just have to get _used_ to it. It’s going to take some time. And you don’t _hate_ me. You’re just… _mad_ at me because I made you do something you didn’t like. You’ll feel better soon.” He tried to reason, just wanting Frank to stop moving away from him. It was really starting to hurt him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Frank wasn’t supposed to get this _upset_.

Frank finally stopped walking backwards and glared at Gerard, his fists began to clench at his sides as he grew more angry. How dare Gerard assume that he would ever want to do this again. “I am _never_ doing this again. I am _never_ going to be you’re weird little partner in crime where we kill people together and just…just _fuck_ in front of their _dead bodies_. How could you even _think_ that that could be a _possibility_?”

Gerard was slightly taken aback by how Frank was speaking to him. It was extremely frustrating for him to be dealing with. “Frank.” He stated, his feet bringing him to finally stand in front of Frank. He reached down and took Frank’s hand, carefully stroking over his knuckles. “Please just calm down.” He begged before Frank snatched his hand away.

“Don’t tell me to ‘ _calm down_ ’, and don’t _touch_ me.” Frank hissed angrily.

“Frank, you’re being irrational and I don’t appreciate how you are acting.” Gerard huffed, beginning to grow impatient. He reached for Frank again, his twitching fingers grabbing at the boy’s hands.

Frank immediately began to wrench his hand out of Gerard’s grasp, struggling since he wasn’t as strong as Gerard was. “I said…don’t… _touch me_!” He shouted, finally getting his hand free before pulling it back and slamming it against Gerard’s jaw as hard as he could.

Gerard winced and immediately lifted his hand up to rub over the reddening spot on his jaw. How could Frank do that to him? How could he hit him like that? Gerard looked back to Frank, his brows furrowed in anger as he stood up straight, trying to look as menacing as he could. Which was actually quite terrifying to Frank. “Apologize to me right, _now._ ” He growled as he began to step close to Frank, his height causing him to tower over Frank as he cornered him against one of the metal tables.

Frank whimpered, looking into Gerard’s vicious gaze and cowering. “N-no.” He stuttered, his voice catching as he shook his head.

“No?” Gerard repeated disbelievingly. He couldn’t believe Frank was acting so rebellious now. He had to correct that. He couldn’t allow for Frank to think that he could get away with misbehaving like that. “I’m going to give you _one_ more opportunity to apologize, Frank. I advise that you _take it_.” He hissed.

Frank looked to the floor and bit down on his lip. He was really starting to regret hitting Gerard, but it didn’t matter. Gerard had deserved it. So he wasn’t going to apologize. “No.” He said again.

Gerard practically snarled, his nostrils flaring in anger as he grabbed Frank’s hair and yanked it to make him look up at him. “Big mistake, Frank.” Gerard said in a low, dangerous tone. “Let’s go.” He huffed.

“Wha—“ Frank started to ask what Gerard meant, but he was cut off when Gerard began to tug him roughly towards the door, using his hair as a handle. He whimpered and began to try to pry Gerard’s hand off of his hair as he stumbled alongside him, but it was no use.

Gerard smacked Frank’s fingers away and began to pull on him with more force, purposefully causing him to stumble and fall as he struggled to walk with him. “You misbehaved, Frank. You know what happens when you misbehave, right?” He asked angrily, not pausing to allow for Frank to get up properly, so he just kept stumbling and wincing as it caused his hair to get pulled even more.

Frank squeaked as he felt a few of his hairs get pulled out and he looked up at Gerard with watery eyes. Oh god…he had forgotten about the basement. He forgot that Gerard would put him there if he was bad. “P-Please don’t put me in the basement. Please, S-sir. I’m sorry I hit you. I’m really sorry.” He began to choke out through the tears that were spilling out of him. “I’ll do better.” He promised, finally getting his balance and pressing himself close to Gerard. It was almost pathetic how the thought of going back down to the basement turned him back into Gerard’s little lapdog.

Gerard kept his grip tight on Frank’s hair, even though he wanted to wrap his arm around his waist instead when he pressed against him. He couldn’t allow Frank to get out of this just by acting all obedient all of a sudden. But…He wasn’t going to take him to the basement. He had a different punishment in mind – one that was a little unconventional. “Don’t worry, Frankie…” He cooed in a faux sweet voice. “I’m not taking you down to the basement.”

Frank perked up, his stomach unclenching as he felt himself relax a little. “Really?” He asked, his voice giving away how relieved he was.

“Of course, Baby.” Gerard smiled as he nudged Frank up the stairs after glancing back at Andy in the room. He was going to take care of him later. “I’m going to be doing something a little… _different_ for your punishment.” He hummed, and just like that, all of Frank’s worried bubbled up again.

“What? Wh-what are you going to do to me?” Frank asked cautiously as he was pushed out into the hallway. While he hated the idea of going into the basement, he hated the fact that he had no idea what was going to happen to him even _more._

Gerard arched an eyebrow and shook his head. “Now why should I tell you?” He asked as he started to yank Frank in the direction of his room. “You misbehaved, Frank. You don’t deserve to know.” He stated, the angry edge returning in his voice.

“But—“ Frank began, but Gerard silenced him with a glare.

When they arrived to Gerard’s room, Frank felt the tight grip on his hair loosen and he reached up to rub at his aching scalp. “Get on the bed.” Gerard commanded, shoving Frank towards the mattress as he started to walk over to his closet.

“Yes Sir.” Frank murmured obediently. He was scared. He didn’t understand why Gerard was making him get onto the bed. He wasn’t going to try to do anything… _sexual_ to him, right? Frank began to shake a little, his worries consuming him as he curled up on Gerard’s bed.

Gerard glanced back to Frank as he pulled out some leather cuffs, running over them with his fingers. He remembered using one of them on Frank’s ankle the first night he got there. He didn’t think that he would have to use them on him again. “Lie on your back.” He instructed as he stood up and walked over to Frank, his expression cold and his voice _icy_.

Frank stifled the frightened whimper that threatened to claw its way out of his throat and he obeyed. He didn’t want to be cuffed up again, but he knew that it was pointless to argue. “I-is this okay?” Frank asked, hoping that Gerard would go easy on him if he was compliant.

Gerard looked over the way Frank was laying and bit down on his lip. He hated that he was able to look so good all the time. It really made punishing him a little difficult. “Yes.” He replied simply as he reached for Frank’s wrist and grabbed one of the cuffs. Once he got both of his hands secured above his head with the cuffs looped through a bar in the headboard, he began to get to work on Frank’s feet.

“Are you…are you going to try to…to ­ _t-touch_ me?” Frank finally asked the question that had been burning in his mind. The appalled look that shown on Gerard’s face pretty much answered the question for him.

“Frank, _no_.” Gerard shook his head, pausing the movements of his hands as he looked up to Frank’s face. “No matter how upset I am or how much trouble you get in, I will _never_ do _that_.” He promised earnestly. He didn’t care _what_ Frank did; he would never truly force himself on him. “I may be a killer, Frank, but _that_ is crossing the line for me. You will never have to worry about that, alright?” Gerard tried to assure him.

Frank felt the knot in his stomach loosen at Gerard’s words. He felt relieved to know that Gerard wasn’t planning on doing anything like that to him, but he was still pretty curious as to what Gerard had planned then. “Then what are you doing?” He asked, apparently not grasping that Gerard wasn’t going to tell him.

Gerard only shook his head and finished cuffing Frank’s ankles, keeping him spread out over the mattress. “You’re going to have to wait to find that out.” Was the only answer he was giving him which only furthered Frank’s worries. “I will be right back.”  Gerard said as he stood up and began to walk out of the room.

Frank’s brow furrowed in curiosity. “Where are you going?” He asked carefully, but Gerard didn’t even turn around before responding.

“No more questions, Frank.” He said before disappearing.

Gerard returned a few moments later with a glass filled with water and a smile poised on his lips. “I couldn’t have you getting thirsty while I kept you up here all by yourself, now could I?” He asked, sounding almost too sweet for Frank’s comfort.

“…No…?” Frank said, sounding unsure. He glanced at the glass Gerard was holding warily. It didn’t appear to be tampered with, but Frank knew that you couldn’t really tell those things just by looking at it.

“Right.” Gerard confirmed before moving close. “Now…open up, sweetheart.” Gerard instructed, bringing the glass up to Frank’s lips and tipping it up once they parted open. Frank furrowed his brow and glanced up at Gerard. This all just felt so…odd. But at least the water tasted normal. “Drink all of it.” Gerard insisted, and even though he struggled with it a little, Frank eventually downed the whole glass.

“There we go.” Gerard smiled, and Frank was still suspicious. “Now…I’ll be downstairs. I’ll come to check on you a few times of course.” Gerard promised and quickly left before Frank could try to ask him anymore questions.

_________________________

It turned out that Gerard’s idea of ‘checking on him’ was to just bring him a new glass of water to drink every fifteen minutes, and each time it just grew harder and harder for Frank to finish the glasses. By the hour-and-a-half mark, Frank was sputtering and almost choking down the water, struggling to swallow it. He was growing too full…and he realized that he was really starting to have to _go_.

It was fifteen minutes later, on the dot, that Gerard returned yet again.

He opened the door and looked over Frank, a smirk tugging at his lips when he noticed the way his hips were squirming a little. Fuck, he looked so pretty like that. Gerard walked up to Frank slowly, his hands clasped behind his back as he arched a teasing eyebrow when he heard Frank whine long and low.

“Please don’t— fuck…please don’t make me drink a-anymore.” Frank begged, his voice wavering as he struggled to close his legs yet again, but just like every other time, the restraints kept them held apart.

Gerard hummed a deep chuckle and slid his index finger up Frank’s stomach. “Why shouldn’t I, Frank? Is something wrong?” He asked as he acted clueless.

Frank looked up at Gerard with wide eyes, his stomach hitching as the man’s cool touch dragged over him. “Mmh, G-Gerard…I have to…” Frank trailed off, his cheeks tinting pink as he looked away. It was embarrassing to actually tell another man that he had to go piss.

Gerard’s smirk only widened and he slid his finger back over Frank’s stomach, this time slipping up under the fabric of his shirt to tease the skin. He felt his excitement rush though him when Frank whimpered and squirmed away from his prodding touch. “You have to…what? Come on, Frank. Use your words.”

“I h-have to… _go_.” Frank finally said, his face beet red as he wiggled his hips to emphasize his statement.

“Oh?” Gerard asked, his head tipping to the side. “You have to go?”

Frank nodded, the movement shaky. “Yes. Please let me. Please just let me go to the bathroom.” He started to beg.

“Mm, I’m sorry, but I don’t think so, Frankie.” Gerard shook his head almost tauntingly.

“What? Why?” Frank asked sharply, his voice desperate and anxious as he tried to tug on his restraints.

Gerard tipped his head to the side playfully. “Because you don’t _deserve_ to go.”

Frank keened a small whine from the back of his throat and shook his head. “Please Gerard. Please. I promise I’ll listen to you now. I’ll do whatever you tell me.” He tried to negotiate, just extremely desperate to piss. He knew it was a little dangerous to tell Gerard that he would do whatever he told him to do, but he was really too needy to care at the moment.

“Then go.”

“W-what?” Frank squeaked. He couldn’t have heard that right.

“You said you’d listen to me now, Frank, so this is a test. If you’re truly going to behave now, then listen to me and piss yourself.” Gerard elaborated, moving to sit down on the mattress beside Frank.

Frank groaned when the movement of the mattress caused his bladder to jostle, his thighs trying to press together again. He couldn’t believe that Gerard was really asking him to do this. Though now the fact that Gerard kept making him drink glasses of water was making sense. He must have had this planned the whole time. “R-really?” He asked, his voice wavering as he felt another sharp pain twinge in his gut.

Gerard nodded. “Yes, really.” He confirmed.

“No, _no_. I’m not— I’m not going to _piss_ myself.” Frank stated, never thinking that he would have to say that. Though apparently Gerard was going to make him do a lot of things that he thought he would never do.

“You said you’d listen to me now, Frank. You just _promised_.” Gerard huffed, starting to grow a little impatient.

Frank looked up at Gerard with a look of hopelessness “I-I really don’t want to _piss_ myself, though. Please just make me do something else.” He begged. His fingers were starting to flex, his hips arching off the mattress for a moment as another wave of pain crashed over him. He really had to go. God, he felt like he was about to _explode_.

Gerard gave a firm shake of his head. “No.” He said. “This is your _punishment_ , Frank. You’re not supposed to like it.” He huffed. Frank whined again and Gerard knew that Frank wasn’t going to just let go without some more… _encouragement_. He grunted softly as he pushed himself up and he threw his leg over Frank’s thighs so he could straddle them. He sat down on them, keeping them pinned down as Frank tried to writhe.

“What are you doing?” Frank asked, struggling to keep it together.

“You are going to wet yourself, Frank. You’re going to _obey_ me and _humiliate_ yourself just like you humiliated _me_.” Gerard growled, his mood shifting again as he grew angry.

“What?” Frank squeaked. “How did I humiliate _you_?”

“You called me a ‘sick fuck’, and you _hit_ me, Frank.” Gerard started to explain. “I’m a killer. I’m a fucking _murderer_ , and killing is a part of my life. It’s something that I enjoy and is important to me. I have kept it a secret my whole life, but I trusted _you_ enough to share it with you, and you just…you shoved me away and said that you _hated_ me.” The anger fizzled out of Gerard’s voice and was replaced with hurt. “I just want to share _everything_ with you. I want to experience the things I enjoy with the person I love, but you were just…you were rude to me when I tried and you were extremely ungrateful. There is not _one single_ person that I would share that part of my life with that isn’t you, and you acted like it meant _nothing_ to you.” Gerard said, and Frank could see the way his fingers were starting to twitch a little. “It hurt. It _hurts_ , so bad.” Gerard whimpered, one of his shaky hands reaching up to tug at his short hair as his lower lip trembled. “Do you hate me, Frank?” He whispered, his eyes slipping closed as he tugged a little harder. “D-do you really h-hate me?”

Frank watched as Gerard grew more upset, and he honestly felt… _guilty_. Gerard looked so hurt and it was all his fault. But Gerard had made him _kill_ someone. Gerard made him take a human life. So Frank felt like he deserved to be hurting a little bit. “I don’t hate you…” Frank said as he shifted and bit down on his lip. He still _really_ had to go, the constant ache in his gut nagging at him as he lied beneath Gerard.

“You don’t?” Gerard asked, his voice sounding small as he opened his eyes to scan over Frank’s face, looking for any sign of deceit.

Frank sighed and shook his head. “No, I don’t. But I still don’t like that you made me do that. I still think that what you made me do is _sick_. It was…It was _horrible_.”

Gerard frowned, his forehead wrinkling with his furrowed brow. His eyes didn’t look sad anymore. The anger was returning, and Frank knew that he should have just acted like he wasn’t bothered. He should have just kept his fucking mouth shut. Frank thought he would have learned that by now. “Okay, _fine_. Yes…I _am_ sick. I’m messed up and I know it’s wrong to kill people, but I can’t – or _won’t_ – change.” He huffed. “There are times where I thought about it. There are days where I’ve laid in bed and thought about what life would be like for me if I just… _quit_. But it’s like I’m _addicted_ to it. I’m addicted to the rush it gives me and the _relief_.” Gerard closed his eyes, his hand sliding out of his hair to rest over his stomach. “I need it.” He whispered just barely loud enough for Frank to hear.

Frank stayed silent as Gerard spoke. He was at a loss for what to say. He didn’t want to say anything to upset the older man even further. “It’s a part of me, Frank, and you’re going to have to _deal with it_.” Gerard said angrily, his eyes snapping open to glare at Frank. “You should accept the people that you love.”

“But I _don’t_ love you.” The words were out before Frank could stop them, and his stomach sank. He knew he shouldn’t have said that.

Gerard felt his insides twist and clench up and he lunged forward – his trembling hands grabbing at Frank’s shoulders and digging into them. “But you _will._ You _will_ love me, Frank. I know it.” He hissed. He look deranged. It was _terrifying_. “But right now, you’re going to fucking do what I told you to, and you’re going to piss yourself.” He growled. Frank had upset him again, so Gerard was reminded of what he was doing sitting on top of him.

Frank whined and closed his eyes. He had thought that maybe Gerard would forget about that, and that he would let him go. But of course Frank had to mess up his chances of that happening by telling Gerard he didn’t love him. Sure, Gerard had already known that, but that had just been the worst time to tell him again. It had sounded too harsh. “P-please—“

“Shut your fucking mouth. You don’t get to talk, Frank. Just _obey_ me and _go_.” Gerard snarled, some of his spit hitting Frank’s face. He wasn’t going to let Frank get out of this, and he wasn’t going to wait any longer either. He pulled back and looked down at Frank’s stomach, his eyes seeming to darken. He shifted a little and splayed his fingers out over the soft skin, feeling the slight tension of his muscles tightening beneath his touch. “ _Go_.” He repeated as he abruptly shoved his hand down and began to push directly over Frank’s bladder.

“ _Ah_ , f-fuck…” Frank gasped, his eyes clenching shut as he began to properly squirm. He was trying so desperately to hold on. He struggled to shift his hips back and forth with the way Gerard was sitting on him and holding him down, and the way he kept adding more and more pressure onto his stomach was making everything worse. It fucking _hurt._ It almost stung. He felt like his whole lower abdomen was aching now. It was slowly growing more painful, causing Frank to writhe. He had never been forced to wet himself before. It was worse than he thought it would be. “G…G-Gerard…” He panted before arching his back and groaning loudly as another surge of pain hit him. Frank began to tug against his restraints, his fingers flexing as he tossed his head back against the pillow.

“There’s no point in trying to hold it, Frank. You’re just causing yourself more pain.” Gerard said as he pushed down even harder, and Frank actually _squealed_ from it. Oh…that was pretty exciting. Gerard hadn’t ever heard Frank make that noise before. He wanted to hear it again.

Frank’s face felt hot as his skin flushed, the pink tinge slowly creeping down his neck as he twitched and squirmed. He mewled another pitiful sound when Gerard pushed down again, and he could feel his bladder clenching up beneath Gerard’s hand. He breathed out a shaking, shuddering gasp, trying desperately to to bring his thighs together. “P-please.” Frank nearly gagged out as his stomach clenched painfully and an unusual shiver rushed up his spine. He was panting now, his breath coming out in ragged puffs as he whimpered.

Gerard continued to keep adding pressure, not letting up at all. Frank wasn’t going to get out of this. “Please _what_?” He growled. “You have no right to be asking for anything, Frank. You’ve been very unkind and now you’re going to pay the price.” Gerard glared at Frank, flexing his fingers and feeling Frank’s stomach tense.

Frank was starting to tremble now, whines and whimpers spilling out of him, making him sound similar to an injured dog. Sweat was beginning to form on his furrowed brow, his skin growing damp as he arched his back upwards and gasped loudly. Each time Gerard pushed down on his stomach it caused him to squirm in pain, trying to shy away from the older man’s offending hand. He cried out loudly when Gerard pressed down with more force and he shuddered as he sucked his stomach in in an attempt to draw everything upwards. He exhaled a low, drawn out whine, bucking his hips up, trying to knock Gerard off of him, but Gerard only clenched his thighs around him even tighter.

Gerard chuckled lowly and shook his head at Frank’s sad attempt at getting him off of him. He almost felt _bad_ that he was so desperate, but he couldn’t deny that the noises Frank was making was actually having an odd effect on him. Each little gasp and mewl was just so… _arousing_. Gerard could feel his cock shifting a little, twitching with interest as he dragged his eyes over Frank’s writhing body. It wasn’t fair that he was always so _pretty_. Frank could see the way that Gerard’s eyes were darkening with arousal, his pupils blown out wide. He couldn’t believe that Gerard was actually _enjoying_ this. God, what was wrong with him?

Gerard suddenly began to push down harder, loving the way Frank’s skin was shiny with sweat and just how desperate he was. “Does this hurt, sweetheart? Hmm?” He sneered. “Does your little tummy ache?” He asked as he flexed his fingers again.

Frank was clenched up tight, curling up into himself as he cried out. Gerard’s touch was too much. His bladder was actually starting to quiver from the way he was straining it. It hurt so _bad._ He clenched his eyes shut tightly, a small tear managing to escape him as it slid down the side of his face an disappeared into his hair. His entire body jolted again underneath Gerard as he felt him flex his fingers _again._ “Mm, h-hurts so bad…” He whispered. “Fuck…I’m s-so full.” He panted, still trying to close himself up against his restraints.

“ _Good._ ” Gerard hissed as he pushed down even more. He just needed Frank to lose himself already. He needed him to wet his pants and humiliate himself. He just needed Frank to understand that he couldn’t act that way anymore.

“P-please let me go. _Please_.” Frank whispered as he opened his eyes to look up at Gerard.

 “If you really have to go…then _go_.” Gerard commanded suddenly. “Do it _now_. Show me that you can actually behave.” He said in a low voice before a sly smirk stretched over his lips as he shoved his large hand down again. He twitched his fingers, scraping his nails gently over Frank’s skin.

Frank looked up at Gerard, his eyes glittering with more unshed tears of desperation. A low whine escaped him as he tried to thrash against the cuffs. He couldn’t do it anymore. He really couldn’t. Frank choked out a small sob as he felt like his cock was throbbing painfully. It started to leak a little, some urine trickling out into his boxers as he gasped.

“Come on, Frank…” Gerard rasped, his throat feeling thick as he shifted and watched Frank lose it. He really couldn’t get over how pretty Frank looked like this – his back arching and hips writhing as he tugged at his restraints and tossed his head back. He watched as Frank’s mouth kept opening and closing, almost like a fish gulping out of water as he gasped repeatedly. Fuck…he was so beautiful. “Just let go… just do it, Frank.” He urged before leaning most of his weight onto Frank’s stomach.

“Oh, God. F-fuck I can’t- I can’t hold it.” Frank choked out before crying out a pathetic whine, feeling his bladder lurch before it squeezed up painfully, and suddenly he felt a hot and wet rush seeping into his pants. His jaw went slack and Frank was suddenly silent. He then whimpered and closed his eyes, his entire body trembling beneath Gerard as he began to actually _piss_ himself.

Gerard looked down when he noticed Frank’s demeanor change, and he saw a dark patch slowly growing on the front of Frank’s jeans. Gerard felt his stomach give an odd swoop at the sight and he nodded. “Fuck, look at you.” He breathed as he shifted to press his own hips against Frank’s crotch, curious to see what it would feel like.

Frank whined again before the pleasure of letting go began to rush over him, an obscenely pleasured noise clawing its way out of his throat. It just felt so _good_. Frank arched his back up, balling his hands into fists as relief rushed over his entire body and prickled up his spine. The pain was no longer there anymore, his bladder finally getting to empty itself out. Piss was rushing out of him quickly, a very faint hiss could be heard as it just kept coming out of him. He tipped his head back, groaning a small noise soft and choked low in his throat. “ _Shit_.” He hissed.

Gerard’s eyes darkened further with lust. Frank’s noises were just so _dirty_. “Yeah, you love pissing yourself, don’t you?” Gerard sneered as he shoved his crotch down, feeling Frank’s warm urine starting to dampen his own pants. God, it was so _gross,_ but it was coming from _Frank_. He had made Frank actually wet himself. “You’re so pathetic, Frank. You can’t even hold your own piss.” He babbled, leaning down to press his face against Frank’s throat. It had just been begging for him to attach his lips to it. He began to suck at the skin there, wet and sloppy and _filthy_. “So _disgusting_.” Gerard growled as he started to firmly roll his hips down against Frank’s. He couldn’t help it. It really was gross and it smelled terrible, but just seeing the way Frank was losing himself just turned him on.

“G-Gerard…” Frank whispered before his hips twitched up to meet Gerard’s. His piss was still emptying out of him, but the stream was starting to slow as he kept bucking up. He felt so humiliated that his body was reacting like that. He was so fucking _embarrassed_. He wanted to hide his face behind his hands and just never let Gerard see his face again, but the cuffs were preventing him from doing that. So he just had to settle for closing his eyes tight and pretending that this wasn’t really happening to him.

“This is what you get, Frank.” Gerard hissed in Frank’s ear as he tugged on his earlobe with his teeth. “This is what you get for disrespecting me and for acting so _rudely_.” He huffed as he leaned back, looking down to their crotches with a satisfied little noise. “Are you sorry for how you acted?” He asked, his eyes fluttering closed as he shifted his hips down again. It was weird to be the one that was straddling _Frank_ , but it still felt nice that he was getting some sort of friction. Even if there was this odd, dampness accompanying the sensation.

“Hmph, y-yes…” Frank breathed as his stream slowed down to a little trickle finally, just a few more drops dribbling out of him as his hips twitched up again.

“Good.” Gerard nodded before grunting softly as Frank rolled his hips up, his lower lip catching between his teeth.

Frank opened his eyes and looked up at Gerard, his face still dark with a blush. He could feel his urine cooling in his jeans uncomfortably, and he just felt so _humiliated_. He couldn’t believe Gerard had really made him do that. He felt like a fucking _child_ who just had an accident. This was the _second_ time he had pissed himself since Gerard took him. At least the first time he did it, he had been in the basement and Gerard hadn’t _watched_ him do it. But this time Gerard had to see all of the embarrassing faces and noises he made. “Please…” Frank whispered, his voice filled with shame. “Please untie me now…”

Gerard pulled back and dragged his eyes over Frank, pausing to stare at the way his pants were soaked now. It smelled so bad, Gerard’s nose wrinkling up a little, but it was kind of exciting that he had made Frank lose himself like that. The other thing that was exciting to him was that he could see that Frank was actually a little _aroused_. Maybe not consciously, but it was obvious that the way he had been rutting against him had affected him a little bit. Gerard really wanted to do something with Frank. He wanted to _touch_ him. But he knew that now wasn’t the time. Frank needed to get cleaned up and changed, but Gerard needed him to properly apologize to him before he let him off of the bed. “Tell me you’re sorry.” He commanded.

Frank looked up at Gerard and nodded. He knew that if he just complied then Gerard would be more likely to un-cuff him sooner. “I’m sorry, Sir.” He whispered, using the term of authority to appease Gerard more. He knew that he always like to be called that. “I shouldn’t have acted out like that. I should have behaved and been grateful that you let me do that with you…” He said in a quiet voice, ducking his head down respectfully. “I promise to do better. I promise I’ll be…I’ll be a-a good boy…”

A soft smile split over Gerard’s stern face, and Frank exhaled a sigh of relief. For once Frank was _grateful_ that Gerard’s mood was able to shift so quickly. “Oh, Frankie…I can’t ever stay mad at you.” He cooed as he leaned down to capture Frank’s lips in a kiss. He was so glad that Frank was behaving now. He loved it. He loved _Frank_. “And you are a good boy, okay? You just…have your moments.” Gerard said as he pulled away, reaching up to stroke over Frank’s cheek and watching as they darkened with a blush. “As do _I_.” He added with a small chuckle. “But I forgive you, Frank, and I think that I have punished you enough. So let me get these cuffs off of you now, yeah?”

Frank nodded immediately. “Yes, please.” He said with an eager tone of voice. He watched as Gerard leaned over him, bringing his face close to his chest as Gerard started to undo his cuffs. As soon as his wrists were released Frank brought them down and cradled them close, carefully starting to rub over them to get the blood flowing back into his hands.

Gerard observed Frank for a moment and sighed softly. “Let me see…” He whispered gently as he pulled Frank’s hands close to his face to look his wrists over. He wanted to make sure that there wasn’t too much chafing or bruising. Luckily there was only a little bit of redness there.

Frank’s lower lip hitched between his teeth as Gerard pulled his wrists up and began to pepper them in kisses. He wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, but he was actually starting to grow fond of the way Gerard tended to him after he was injured or punished. In fact, he was actually a little _disappointed_ when Gerard moved away and began to release his legs from the cuffs. But of course Gerard kissed around his ankles as well, which was also pretty nice. “There we go, sweetheart.” Gerard cooed lovingly, and Frank was glad that Gerard was now in a better mood.

“Thank you.” Frank spoke softly, carefully stretching his legs as Gerard climbed up his chest to give him another kiss. Frank kissed him back gently and timidly reached up to wrap his arms around Gerard’s shoulders. He liked when Gerard was like this with him. It was so much better when Gerard was all lovey-dovey with him instead of angry. He wasn’t as scared of him when he was sweet to him.

Gerard smiled against Frank’s lips and exhaled a soft noise before he pulled back, making Frank’s hands slide down to hold onto his biceps. He didn’t want to get too into it before they both got cleaned up. “Come on, darling. I think you should go ahead and take a shower… I need to clean the bed sheets too.” He sighed, carding his fingers through Frank’s hair with a gentle smile. “And then maybe tomorrow after we get some rest I can help you with your hair.” Gerard offered with excitement glittering in his eyes. “If you’d like that.”

Frank had honestly forgotten that they had even bought any hair dye, so getting reminded of it actually made him feel pretty excited as well. He felt like he needed a change, and if that change happened to be with his hair then he would take it. “I would like that.” He smiled shyly before quickly pecking Gerard’s lips. “But you’re right. I really need to uhm…take a shower and change.” He mumbled, trying not to keep thinking about the fact that he had pissed himself.  “So uh… can you…?” Frank said, nodding at the way Gerard was bracing himself over him and basically keeping him trapped.

“ _Oh_ , yeah…Sorry.” Gerard breathed on a chuckle and pulled back to get off of Frank. “But alright then. We will do your hair tomorrow.” He smiled whiled standing up.

“Thanks.” Frank stood up as well, tugging on the front of his pants to pull the wet fabric away from his crotch with an embarrassed smile. “I guess I’ll be out in a little bit.” Frank ducked his head timidly as he started to walk towards the restroom.

“Alright, I’ll be here.” Gerard grinned, giving Frank a little wave before the door was shut and he was left alone in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize to those who must have found Gerard's punishment for Frank to be a little...strange and a little much...but I hope that it won't deter you from tuning in for the next chapter! 
> 
> Special thanks to [fsalisbb](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fsalisbb/pseuds/fsalisbb) for helping me figure out how to write the forced wetting scene. I couldn't have done it without the help of my friend!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank isn't happy with what Gerard had forced him to do, and after he has another outburst, he confronts his worries that Gerard might not always tolerate his behavior.

Frank pulled the restroom door open, steam bellowing out behind him in a thick cloud as his damp form emerged into Gerard’s bedroom. He looked to the bed, noticing that Gerard was still awake, most likely waiting for him before going to sleep. There was the ever-present smile poised on his lips, almost always curling his mouth up whenever Frank was around, but Frank couldn’t find it in him to smile back.

During his shower, Frank was able to be alone. He was able to actually _think_ without Gerard whispering his influencing lies into his ears, twisting and contorting his thoughts. While he had been getting punished, Frank had been too wound up and nervous about what Gerard was going to do to him for him to actually process what he had been through. Gerard had forced him to kill someone against his will, all while knowing how terribly Frank hadn’t wanted to do it. It had been traumatizing, but Frank knew that it still hadn’t registered to him all the way. He knew that soon it would hit him truly and consume him – swallowing him whole.

For now, Frank was just horribly upset with Gerard. He didn’t even want to _look_ at him, but of course his gaze was drawn to him. It was always drawn to him. Gerard was spectacular. He was able to capture the attention of anyone he wanted, captivating them and deceiving them into viewing him as a _god_ , all while simultaneously managing to elude the rest of the world and seem as though he didn’t exist. He was like a ghost – a mere phantom created just to taunt Frank and make him question his sanity, and it was working.

“Are you alright?” Gerard’s gentle voice rang out, jarring Frank from his thoughts.

He blinked slowly and looked away, his head moving itself in an up and down motion. He didn’t much feel like using his voice.

Gerard’s brows pinched together when Frank continued to only stand just outside of the bathroom door. Feeling slightly concerned, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, his bare feet padding up to Frank. “Are you sure, Frankie?” He asked, the slight worry evident in his tone. He reached up to rest his hand on Frank’s shoulder, his pale fingers just barely getting a chance to feel the warmth radiating from the boy’s skin beneath his shirt before they were shrugged off.

“Frank—“ Gerard began with confusion, but Frank interrupted him before he could finish speaking.

“I just…” Frank exhaled noisily through his nose and kept his gaze to the floor. “I just want to sleep…” He explained. He didn’t want to say outright that he didn’t want Gerard to touch him. He felt that would only cause more problems than he was ready to deal with.

Gerard cocked his head to the side, his stomach beginning to twist itself in knots. He didn’t understand what was going on with Frank, but he was hoping that he was only tired as he had stated. “Yeah, okay…” He sighed, watching as Frank wordlessly walked away from him and slid into the bed. Gerard followed suit and brought himself to lie down on his own side of the mattress. He realized after he got buried under the covers that Frank was lying on the complete opposite of the bed as he was, turned to face the wall. He was so far that he was practically hanging off the mattress.

“Frank…?” Gerard asked, and Frank only closed his eyes tighter, willing Gerard to stop talking and to leave him alone. “Frank.” Gerard repeated, this time a little more firmly.

Frank turned to him, but not all the way. He only granted him a turn of his head, his back twisting a little as he looked at him. “What is it?” He inquired, though he already knew what Gerard was going to ask.

“Why are you way over there?”

Frank turned around again, reaching up to fluff his pillow. “I really just…I need some space.” He said to the wall, not wanting to say it to Gerard’s face.

“What do you mean?” Gerard questioned. His body was starting to ache to bring itself closer to the boy. He was just so _close_. It would be so easy to reach out and yank him against his chest, keeping him wrapped up securely in his strong embrace all through the night. But…something was wrong. Frank was acting strangely and Gerard definitely didn’t like it. “You seemed to be fine before you took a shower, Frank. What changed?”

“Nothing changed.” Frank huffed falsely, and Gerard could see the tension that he was carrying in his shoulders, his form appearing to be rigid. He knew he was lying. “I just want to be left _alone_.” He gritted out through his teeth.

Gerard pulled his brows together, his lips pulling downwards into a frown. “I don’t appreciate the way you’re speaking to me right now.” He said as he propped himself up on his elbows.

Frank turned to him quickly. “ _I_ don’t appreciate the things that you’ve made me do tonight, so just leave me the fuck alone.” He snapped, causing Gerard to reel back a few inches as he was caught off guard.

“ _Frank_.” Gerard huffed, now moving to sit up properly, the pale moonlight filtering in through the window, casting over the lean muscles of his body. He looked oddly ethereal and wraithlike in that moment, like he were some mystical creature that was able to filter between this realm of existence and the next with no difficulty. “Don’t _speak_ to me like that.” He snapped back, visibly becoming angry with the way Frank was acting towards him.

Frank’s mouth went agape and he stared at Gerard. He was angry that Gerard thought that he had a right to tell him how to act after forcing him to _kill_ someone. “What are you going to do to stop me? Huh?” Frank asked daringly, his voice angry. “Are you going to make me piss myself again? Are you going to throw me into the basement? Well _go ahead_.” He hissed. He knew that he was going to regret that, but he was so upset that it was making him act a little irrationally.

Gerard was so _furious_. How dare Frank act out like this. He was acting like a petulant _child_. “Is that what you want, Frank?” Gerard snarled, spitting venom as he shoved the covers off of him. “You want to go down to the basement?”

Frank looked away and tried to ignore the worry that was starting to actually sink into him. “ _Yes_.” He lied stubbornly. “At least then you’d finally be leaving me _alone_.” He spat.

Gerard went quiet. He felt his insides clenching up painfully and he stood up from the bed. “Fine.” He said coldly, not allowing for Frank to see how upset he was truly feeling as he reached for his shirt from the floor and yanked it over his head. It hurt him that Frank was acting like this. He had just wanted to curl up together and finally get some rest after a long day, but now Frank was acting out and making him feel like _shit_. “Get up.”

Frank looked over at Gerard, finally letting it sink in that he was actually going to have to go to the basement again, but he couldn’t back down. He couldn’t let Gerard know that his resolve was beginning to crumble. Instead of trying to protest like he normally would, he stood up and crossed his arms over his chest tightly. He began to walk ahead of Gerard wordlessly, keeping his gaze to the floor as they walked to the basement.

Gerard was admittedly a little surprised that Frank had begun to head out of the room so quickly. He had been expecting some sort of protest or maybe another snide remark. He decided very quickly that Frank staying silent was much worse. It was like Gerard needed his attention. He craved it, thrived off of it. Gerard felt like he couldn’t exist if Frank wouldn’t acknowledge him.

He stared at Frank’s back as they walked, staring at the shift of the muscles beneath the thin fabric of his shirt. His shoulders were hunched a little, rigid and tight and Gerard could see the the tips of his fingers digging into his upper arms, making the flesh around them to become pale from the firm pressure. Gerard wanted to reach forward and brush his fingers away and smooth his own over the skin there. He wanted to kiss over the little crescent indentions that Frank’s nails were sure to leave, and he wanted to press up behind him and snake his arms around his waist so he could hold him close.

Gerard didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to take Frank down to the basement anymore. He knew how easy it would be to reach through the distance between the two of them and stop Frank from going any further. He knew that it wouldn’t take any effort at all to just call out to him and tell him that he didn’t have to go down there anymore. Gerard cursed himself silently. He shouldn’t have been so quick to anger. He should have been more understanding. At least then Gerard wouldn’t be feeling any guilt beginning to seep into his skin, making him feel heavy and sick. At least then Frank would still be in his bed, and Gerard would be able to watch him and try to make up for whatever he did wrong as soon as Frank woke up.

But of course…Gerard had to stand his ground. He couldn’t let Frank get off the hook so easily. Frank had to learn to how to act. He couldn’t go around talking to Gerard like that. Gerard wanted Frank to _respect_ him. Although, that’s not all he wanted. He didn’t want Frank to act like some obedient pet. He wanted him to act like he was his lover. He wanted them to be close and to be able to play around and poke fun at each other jokingly. God…Gerard just wanted it all with Frank.

Back when he was younger, Gerard never thought that he would ever feel this way about anyone. When he had still been in school and had heard everyone talking about how much they loved their significant other – albeit it was probably merely puppy-love since it had been middle school – but Gerard could never understand those feelings. He never felt much affection towards anyone. Of course he felt attraction, which had always been directed towards the boys of his school rather than the girls there, but he didn’t care to really _be_ with them. He was content to just admire them from afar, even though part of him wished that he desired more.

After Mikey had died, Gerard never wanted anyone at all. He couldn’t even bring himself to care about how anyone looked. He was too miserable and angry and he wanted the world to burn and smolder beneath his feet. He had resigned himself to living his life alone in misery. He didn’t think that he would ever be able to _feel_ anything for someone. Anything other than hatred or dislike, at least. But what he felt for Frank…there were no words to truly capture exactly how he felt for him.

When he had seen him for the first time had left Gerard feeling breathless. Frank had looked so beautiful standing beneath that awning of the library, his lips stretched into an amused smile around his cigarette as Gerard stammered and practically gawked at him. He had just been so gorgeous. Gerard had been hooked on him immediately, but the fact that Frank had offered to bring him into the library to dry off had certainly sealed the way he felt for him. When Frank’s fingers wrapped around his wrist and pulled him towards the door, it had cemented Gerard’s love for him deep in his chest, its roots tangling around him and securing themselves firmly in his heart and mind. Gerard knew right then that he had to have him. He had to make him his.

Now he had him, for the most part. He was there with him at least, but he still seemed to be on the fence of how he felt for him exactly. Gerard knew it had to be only a matter of time before Frank realized that he loved him too. He had to. Gerard knew that the feelings were there, they were just buried deep and Gerard had to dig them out. There had been little flickers of it. Little moments were Frank seemed to let his guard down and he reciprocated Gerard’s affections. Those were always Gerard’s favorite. One day Gerard hoped to be able to walk around with Frank without the fear of him trying to leave him. Maybe Gerard would even…maybe he would let Frank go back to his old home. Maybe Gerard would be able to actually meet his friends and Frank would lovingly introduce him as his boyfriend. Gerard ached for that. He wanted Frank to be happy to introduce him to people that mattered to him. Gerard knew that he would give _anything_ to be able to introduce Frank to Mikey.

Mikey would have loved Frank. He knew that they would have gotten along, and maybe they would have even become best friends. Gerard could imagine it. He could imagine having nights where they all piled into his living room and watched some stupid movie while snacking on whatever junk food they could get their hands on. Sure, Gerard knew that he was thirty years old, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy nights like that. Especially with people he loved so dearly.

It would be so wonderful. Gerard would be able to curl up with Frank pressed close, and he would be able to be overly affectionate with him just to gross his brother out. He wondered if Mikey would have found someone too. Gerard would have let them hang with him too. They could all sit together like a nice family and have dinners and go to places together every once in a while.

A slow sigh escaped from Gerard, his heart clenching painfully in his chest as he grit his teeth. None of that mattered. Mikey was gone and he had died before he had ever had a chance to find anyone, or to just even _live_. He had been so young. He was so innocent. Gerard couldn’t help but think about how it should have been himself that had been killed. Mikey would have been able to handle his death better. He wouldn’t have lost his mind completely and gone down such a terrible path. The only thing that Gerard was grateful for, was that that terrible path had lead him to Frank. It led him right to the only other person that could ever really matter to him.

Gerard really did love him so much. He loved him more than anything. The more he thought of everything, the harder it made it for him to keep walking Frank to the basement. He really didn’t want to be without him for even a second anymore. He had to have him close and he needed to kiss him and slide his hands over him until they both fell asleep locked together. But he _couldn’t._ Frank had to go downstairs. Gerard wasn’t going to allow himself to give in to his desires.

It was incredibly frustrating to him, but that’s not all it was. It also _hurt_ to make Frank go down there. His hands were starting to ache a little, as was his head, and his stomach just wouldn’t seem to settle. It just kept churning and twisting and making him feel like he might just pass out at any moment. He knew he wouldn’t though. This wasn’t as bad as it could be. He supposed the knowledge that he would be able to bring Frank back upstairs helped quell his pain a little. He would have him back in his arms soon enough, and everything would be okay.

Once they reached the basement door, Gerard had to pause for a moment to regain his cold exterior. He didn’t want Frank to be able to tell that he was having second thoughts. He had to seem confident in his decision or Frank might think that he would be able to talk him out of it.

When Gerard opened the door to the basement, Frank peered down the dark staircase. He immediately began to feel lightheaded. The stairs seemed to stretch on forever, disappearing into the void as the cold air wafted up to greet him. He shivered a little, falling back slightly and squeaking an embarrassing noise when he ended up pressing against Gerard’s solid chest. “Go.” Gerard commanded in his ear, nudging him a little rougher than necessary not matter how bad he wanted to keep Frank held against him.

Frank gasped loudly as he stumbled forward and clutched at the railing so tight he was certain that his hands would end up melding to the metal bar. He looked back to Gerard, hoping silently that he would suddenly change his mind without Frank having to say anything. “ _Go_.” Was all Gerard said instead, pushing him again.

A shaky whimper clawed its way up Frank’s throat and he slowly began to descend down the staircase. The only thing that was illuminating the room was the light that was spilling down from the hallway, leaving everything dim and coated in dark shadows. It was eerie… It felt as though Frank had stepped down into some sort of alternate reality, where nothing had fully materialized yet. He hated it. He didn’t want to be there anymore.

“G-Gerard…” Frank whispered, the fear evident in his voice as he turned to look at him.

“What?” Gerard replied. “Did you change your mind, Frank?” He asked as he stepped closer. He wanted to hear Frank say it. He needed to hear that Frank really would rather come back up with him than to be all alone down there.

Frank exhaled slowly, mentally debating whether or not he should give in. He looked around, seeing nothing but darkness other than Gerard. He hated it. He hated that he always seemed to fall back into Gerard’s arms like had never done anything wrong. It made him feel so _weak_. “I…” He began, tearing his gaze away and shaking his head. “No.” Frank whispered

Gerard was taken aback. “ _No_?” He repeated in question. That certainly hadn’t been the answer that he had been expecting from Frank. “You’d rather stay down here than to go back upstairs with me?” Gerard huffed.

“Yes.” Frank fibbed, glancing back towards the darkness. He didn’t want to stay there. He didn’t want to be cold and alone down there, but he didn’t want to let Gerard win. Frank couldn’t let him think that he was going to just comply to his every whim.

Gerard’s brows pulled together and his heart clenched. That hurt. He knew how much Frank hated being down there, so to know that he preferred to stay in the basement for the night instead of snuggled up with him made him feel rather bad about himself. “Fine.” Gerard spat as he took a step closer, and Frank was unable to read his expression due to the way his face was casted in the shadow of his silhouette. “If you want to stay here, then you will. But don’t think for one second that I’m going to come down here if I hear you crying.” He spoke coldly as he started to push Frank back, making him stumble a little into the shadows. Gerard hated treating Frank like this. He hated saying things like that to him.

Frank looked back to Gerard, his eyes filled with fear and regret as he tried to regain his footing in the lightless side of the room. “I don’t care.” He tried to say defiantly, but it came out as more of a pathetic squeak.

Gerard’s face twisted up in a look that teetered between the edges of being sad and angry. Did Frank really not care? “Go sit over there.” It was all Gerard said before he was shoving him back towards where Frank had been forced to sit the last time.

Frank was starting to feel sick.

Frank didn’t bother to plead with Gerard as he sat down by the same pipe he did before, keeping his fears and desperation trapped in his throat as Gerard walked away from him to retrieve a pair of cuffs he kept down there. He couldn’t see Gerard in the dark, as the light from upstairs only spilled down the stairs and faded out a few feet from the last one, but he could hear him. He could hear his breathing, coming out a little more ragged than usual, and he could hear his feet as they shuffled over the cool ground, slowly growing closer to him.

It was a little unnerving. It seemed to be straight out of some horror movie that Frank would scoff at and say that it wasn’t even scary. But now that he was actually there experiencing it, it _was_ a little frightening. But he was sure that Gerard wasn’t going to lunge at him out of the dark and attack him. All he was going do was handcuff him to a metal pipe…which he supposed wasn’t too much better.

Frank cleared his throat quietly, but it was still much too loud in the quiet room. He felt as though he needed to stay completely silent, like he didn’t want to alert Gerard of his presence, but he knew he was being irrational seeing as Gerard already knew exactly where he was.

Once Gerard returned to him, Frank kept his gaze to the floor as he felt the cold metal of the handcuffs seal around his wrists. He noticed that Gerard’s fingers stayed on the skin of his hands a little longer than necessary, but he wasn’t going to say anything about it. He especially wasn’t going to admit that it felt nice, or that he wished that Gerard would keep touching him. It was humiliating. He couldn’t stand that he was already craving more physical affection from him even though he had just been cuffed a mere second ago. He was already counting down the seconds until Gerard would come back for him. He wanted to go back upstairs, but he was too stubborn to admit it.

He silently watched Gerard’s feet as he stood up in front of him, seeming to stay there for a moment. Frank could feel his eyes on him, but he kept his head down, avoiding meeting his gaze. He didn’t want Gerard to see how scared he looked. He was also worried that Gerard would be able to read in his expression that he wanted to come back up with him, that he had been lying when he said he wanted to stay down there rather than go up to bed with him.

Gerard kept standing there for a few long seconds, just staring down at Frank’s form through the shadows. He could barely see him, but Gerard could tell that he was still looking at the floor. He wished that he would look up at him. He wanted to see his face at least once more before he went up the stairs. He needed it. Though he knew it would only devastate him, as Gerard couldn’t stand to see Frank unhappy. It only made it worse for him to know that he was the cause of Frank’s discomfort and unhappiness at the moment. He was going to make it up to him. He was going to do whatever he could to make Frank happy again as soon as he got him out of the basement later.

Frank heard a small huff from above him after a few moments of silence, letting him know that Gerard was about to speak.  

“I sincerely hope you behave better when I let you out of here.” Gerard’s voice rang out, a heavy silence following his word. That’s not what he had wanted to say though. He wanted to drop to his knees and tell Frank how much he loved him, and how he was sorry he was having to do this, but of course he didn’t do that. He didn’t want to grovel in front of the boy when he was trying to seem confident with his choices.

When Frank didn’t say anything in response to him, Gerard closed his eyes tight and clamped his teeth down onto his lip, his fingers beginning to twitch at his sides. He supposed the only thing he could really do then was leave, so that’s what he did without saying another word. Frank only allowed for himself to look up when he heard the creaking of the wooden steps, his eyes scanning over the older man’s rigid, tensed shoulders before he disappeared upstairs and slammed the door, enveloping him in darkness.

Gerard leaned back against the door for a moment, his heart feeling tight in his chest as he shook his head. He didn’t understand. He just couldn’t grasp why Frank just wouldn’t behave. All he wanted was for them to be happy together. He wanted them to be in love and he wanted to only give Frank gentle touches. It was hard. It was extremely difficult for him to punish Frank. It caused him to hurt, his stomach twisting and clenching as he thought about Frank down there all alone, in the dark without him. Gerard wished that he could open the door and bring him back. He knew that there was really nothing stopping him, but how would Frank learn to be good if Gerard just let him off easy like that?

He exhaled a sigh, the breath shaky and uneven as he pressed his ear against the door. Frank wasn’t crying like last time, which made him feel better. He didn’t feel as terrible for doing this. Frank would be okay. He would be fine, and as soon as Gerard let him out of the basement again Frank would be eager to behave for him. Then it would all be okay. They could get on with their lives and Gerard wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore.

He just wished that he didn’t have to wait. He wanted Frank to be there with him now, with his shy smile and bright, beautiful eyes. He just needed to remind himself that he would be able to have that soon. He would let Frank back out as soon as he woke up. He would go downstairs and bring Frank back up and let him shower or nap in the bed while he cooked breakfast for them. It would be wonderful. But for now he had to endure the pain swelling and lashing out inside of him. It would all be worth it. Anything was worth it to be able to have Frank.

Gerard waited by the door for few minutes, clutching at his stomach before he forced himself to push away from the door. It would be okay. Frank would be okay. Besides, Gerard realized as he was beginning to walk down the hallway, that now would be the best time for him to get rid of Andy’s body. He had been planning on doing it after getting some rest, but at least now he didn’t have to worry about Frank freaking out by seeing his body again. He knew that Frank wasn’t ready for that. He hadn’t been ready to kill, so he doubted that Frank wouldn’t really want to bury the person that he murdered. He would get to that point eventually. Gerard just had to work him up to that point. Though he knew better now than to try to rush it again. It hadn’t gone the way he had wanted it to when he made Frank kill Andy, but maybe some other time. Maybe one day Frank would like it.

_________________________

 

Frank was okay. It wasn’t as bad as the last time. Not just yet. Frank knew that Gerard was just upstairs. He knew that he would come back to get him eventually. But…it was still dark down there. It was still unnerving to not be able to see his surroundings, or to not know just _exactly_ how long he was going to be down there. Just because he knew that Gerard was going to come get him eventually, he didn’t know when that would be. What if it ended up being _days_? What if Gerard didn’t come back until he was starving and just barely even able to move? He wouldn’t do that to him, would he? He wouldn’t. Gerard…Gerard _loved_ him. He had said so. But…how could someone who loved him so much treat him so badly?

Frank sniffled a little, unwanted tears beginning to well up in his eyes without his consent. He couldn’t take this anymore. He just couldn’t. Why did Gerard keep treating him like this? Why did he have to take him away? Sure, Frank knew that his life hadn’t been the best. He was a high school drop-out who only had two friends, but they were the best damn friends he had ever had. And sure…his dad kind of sucked and always seemed to be drunk or absent, but his mom was hard working and she did everything she could to take care of him. Fuck…he missed her. He missed his mom so fucking bad and he missed his friends. He could really go for one of Ray’s blinding smiles and Bob’s more subdued, yet still happy upward tilt of his lips.

He wondered what they were doing. Were they looking for him still? Had they even started? He was sure that Ray had to have been the first one to feel any sort of worry. He tended to be somewhat of a mother hen, always checking up on him when he didn’t hear from Frank after a few days. Normally he would just find him curled up on his little twin mattress, nursing a cold or a hangover, and he would always just scoff a laugh and plop down on the floor next to him and tell him all about what was going on with him as he tended to him and got him some sort of medication.

Bob was much more subtle in the way that he showed his affection for Frank. He would give him rough ruffles of his hair and mutter things like ‘half pint’ or ‘pipsqueak’, but the tone was always fond, and whenever Frank really needed some form of help – whether it be needing a ride home from some party, or to fend off people who tended to get a little rough with him since they pinned him as an easy target because he was a little smaller than most, Bob would always be there to back him up. He also was Frank’s main source of actually getting beer since he was the only one that was actually over twenty-one. Ray was close, and was actually turning twenty-one in July.

Fuck…was Frank even going to be there to congratulate him? Was he ever going to see them again? Surely he would. Surely eventually Gerard had to let him go home, even if it was only for a brief period of time. Just the thought of Gerard really being cruel enough to never let him see his friends or family again was enough to make dread settle cold and heavy in his stomach, making him feel like he was clenching up too tight. He hoped that they missed him. He hoped that they thought about him and weren’t just brushing off his disappearance as yet another moment of him just wanting to blow off steam for a little while.

It’s not like his mom could even call the police even if she was worried. Frank was eighteen. He was legally an adult and the police would tell her that he could leave if he wanted to. He didn’t have to come back. They would tell her that he wasn’t the first to just disappear from home because he just wanted to leave, and his mom wouldn’t even be able to say that it wasn’t like him. Because it _was_ like him. He did this kind of shit all the time and he was deeply regretting it now, as he sat in Gerard’s cold and damp basement, shaking with either the freezing temperature or with anguish – he didn’t know. He only wished that the police would look for him anyway. He wished that they wouldn’t just assume that he was fine only because teenagers always did this, and that he also had a track record of doing it as well.

Frank briefly pondered how many times the police had been wrong about it. How many teens or young adults had just disappeared without a trace, and the police just chalked it up to them being restless and just wanting to get away, only to find their body floating in the river or tossed in a ditch a few weeks later?

Man…the police sucked.

There was a sudden whine that echoed through the dark of the basement, pathetic and worn. The sound of it startled Frank, before he realized that it was coming from his own throat. Frank drew his knees up again, clamping his teeth down onto the fabric of his pants in an attempt to stifle anymore noises that were fighting to escape. He didn’t want to cry. He knew that as soon as he started then he wouldn’t be able to stop. He would just wrack with sobs until he was all dried out, then he would just tremble and whimper out strangled noises. Then he would have to deal with a pounding headache from all of the exertion, which would just make everything much harder than it already was for him.

Frank sniffled a little, closing his eyes tight before relaxing them, letting his lashes flutter as he rested his face against his knee. His shoulders were starting to strain now, the way his arms were pulled back behind him not helping. He wished that Gerard had only cuffed one of his wrists, or at least let him sit to where his arms were in front of him.

He squirmed a little, rolling his shoulders with a grunt before a whine keened in the back of his throat. He hated this. He was so…so frustrated and upset and he couldn’t even properly thrash in rage and anger. Frank stomped his feet childishly, growling out a noise of irritation as his jaw clenched. He hated this. He _despised_ this.

A small squeak resonated from somewhere off to Frank’s side. It didn’t sound too close, but it was enough to make Frank squeal a noise somewhere between discomfort and disgust. The sound of it was unmistakable. It was a mouse, or maybe a _rat_. Frank shuddered violently, a whimper spilling from his lips. He didn’t usually fancy himself to be one that was scared of such small creatures, but normally he was able to _see_ them. He wasn’t too keen on the idea of a giant rat crawling on him while he was handcuffed to a pipe while he was unable to see it – only able to feel it’s scurry of tiny feet as it climbed on him, maybe even nibbling on his fingers or his earlobe.

Frank was almost certain that it would leave him alone, but just the knowledge that it was out there was really not helping with his anxiety. He had already been so frightened. He had been so scared and anxious and he just…he wanted to go back upstairs. He wanted to apologize to Gerard and beg for his forgiveness. But what if Gerard didn’t give it to him? What if he was too angry with him and he never forgave him?

Frank clenched his eyes shut tighter, curling up on himself as much as he could as he tried to silence his thoughts.

_________________________

 

Gerard’s brow was covered in a thin layer of sweat as he began to carry Andy’s body up the stairs. He wasn’t as heavy as Randal had been, but Gerard was both physically and mentally drained, his body feeling much more weak than it would usually be if he had gotten some rest. While he knew it was best he was doing this now, as he was carrying Andy’s heavy corpse he couldn’t help but wish he had been able to sleep first like he had been planning on originally, but Frank had to have a little outburst which thwarted his plans quite drastically.

Gerard’s heart panged at the thought of the boy. He missed him terribly. He wondered how he was. _Was he doing okay? Was he crying like before, wracking with silent sobs as he trembled?_ Gerard’s stomach twisted violently at the mental image, feeling waves of nausea swelling and crashing inside of him harshly and nearly sending him toppling down the stairs. He steadied himself with a hand on the railing, his grip so tight that he was certain that when he let go there would be indentions in the metal bar from where his fingers had clasped around it.

He felt weak, incredibly so. He was tired and he felt woozy, and he was having to carry a stupid body up the stairs. But he didn’t like the feel of the corpse tossed over his shoulder and pressing against him firmly. He wanted it to be _Frank_. Well…he didn’t necessarily want Frank to be slung over his shoulder limply, but he did want to feel him pressed flush against is own form. He wanted there to be no clothes, no boundaries or any layers between them. He wanted it to just be skin against skin, souls bared against one another as they kissed. Fuck, Gerard wanted to kiss Frank again. His lips were so soft…

As if to physically shake those thoughts from his head, Gerard whipped his head from side to side before continuing on up the stairs. Thinking things like that made keeping Frank in the basement a lot harder on him. He couldn’t stand that he was down there all alone. He knew he must be cold. It was freezing outside because of the wrath winter tended to unleash on the earth, striping it of all of its warmth greedily. He knew that the basement didn’t have any sort of insulation that would really give any sort of protection for Frank.

Gerard grimaced as his teeth began to sink into his lower lip. He should bring him a blanket. He should just…he should bring him back upstairs and tell him that he had been wrong. That he should have just given Frank a little bit of space initially instead of letting it escalate into a little spat which ended with Frank getting punished. Oh, he ached to have Frank with him. But…he couldn’t. Frank had to stay down there at least until morning. Gerard would make it up to him. He would shower him in so much love and basically drown him in it. But for now, he had to take care of Andy’s body.

“ _Fuck_.” Gerard hissed, frustration saturating his voice as he slammed the basement door shut. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He knew that he had sprung it on Frank way too quickly, but Frank wouldn’t have done it had he not forced him. All Gerard had wanted was for Frank to enjoy it. He wanted him to get some sort of a thrill out of it, but it didn’t seem to work out that way. Gerard just couldn’t seem to grasp that not everyone was fucked up in the head like he was.

Gerard may or may not have intentionally knocked Andy’s head against the doorway a little roughly as he stepped out of his back door to let out a little bit of his frustration.

_________________________

 

Frank looked around, his pupils dilated to their fullest capacity, yet they were still unable to see anything. It was too dark. If Frank hadn’t been able to feel the ground beneath him then he would have convinced himself that he had been swallowed by a void and was merely floating through it. He had been down there for so long. He knew that it had been more than a few hours.

Frank had heard Gerard moving around upstairs during the first hour, and he had focused on those noises to keep himself distracted. While he wasn’t certain, he still had a pretty good idea of what the other man had been doing. He was taking care of…of _Andy_. Frank had felt so sick to his stomach as he listened to Gerard’s slow footsteps through the house initially, knowing that he was getting weighed down by an actual human body that Frank had helped…

It went silent after he heard the distant sound of a door getting shut, and it stayed that way until another hour had passed, and Gerard’s steps were much quicker and more sure. He wasn’t getting weighed down anymore, and as much as Frank hated to think about it, he was glad that he was no longer in the house with a corpse.

After Gerard’s footsteps grew more and more quiet as he drew up the stairs towards his room, Frank was once again locked away in the silence, unable to hear anything other than his own, ragged and uneven breathing.

He felt alone. Yet…at the same time, he felt as though he _wasn’t._ He felt like maybe…maybe there was something else there, just a few feet in front of him. What if it was watching him, what if it got enjoyment from watching him squirm and look around frantically?

Frank felt absolutely _sick_. Something had to be watching him. It had to be there, sneering at him and waiting for the perfect moment to close in and attack him. Just the thought of it was enough to make Frank tremble. He had thought that he would be okay. He had actually convinced himself that he would be able to handle being alone in the dark basement this time. He had never been more wrong.

Being down there just made him feel so small – so helpless.

Anything could get him and no one would ever know – that _rat_ could get him. What if Gerard came down to find him dead and eaten up by the rodent? Would it even start eating him so early on? Did rats even wait until the thing they’re eating was dead?

Frank wasn’t certain he wanted to know the answer. All he could think about was the fact that eventually he was going to end up with little bits of his flesh tucked away in that rats stomach before Gerard came back to retrieve him.

 _What was even going to happen to him when Gerard came back to get him?_ Frank was worried that Gerard was going to still be upset. He was frightened that he was going to try to hurt him more or that he would just…do _worse_. _No, Gerard wouldn’t kill him. Gerard loved him._

_________________________

As soon as Gerard stumbled up to his room, he trudged toward his en-suite bathroom and stripped himself of his clothes. He was too tired to shower properly, but he knew that he needed to at least tidy up a little. So he set about grabbing a damp cloth and wiping over his face and arms, using some soap to help scrub the dirt off of his skin. He then washed his hands as well, being thorough and using near scalding water as he dug under his nails and got into every crease and curve of his fingers and palms. He even washed all the way up to his elbows as well, just feeling so dirty and gross. He really needed to shower again. He needed to really get cleaned up and freshened up, but he was too tired. He made a promise to himself to do it in the morning after he got Frank out of the basement.

Once he was cleaned enough to please him for the moment, Gerard shuffled out of the restroom and dressed himself in a pair of sweats before he tumbled onto his large bed. It felt too empty. It was cold and the mattress felt too still without any of Frank’s tiny movements he made in his sleep. Gerard missed him. He missed him so fucking much that it truly did _hurt_. Gerard whimpered and clutched his stomach, hissing as he felt it twist and curl, his blood feeling as if it were curdling in his veins. He wanted Frank back. He wanted him upstairs with him now.

Gerard exhaled out of his nose loudly, closing his eyes shut as he buried his face into the pillow beside his head. That had been a mistake though, as it only resulted in Frank’s smell wafting up right into his face. A whine keened from deep in Gerard’s chest, his hands reaching up immediately and grasping at the pillow so he could hold it tight in his arms. It was too soft, too pliable and giving way to his secure grasp much too easily in a way that Frank’s body didn’t do. Frank, of course, was quite soft, and he was nice and small so he fit against Gerard perfectly, but he still had a firmness to him that the pillow wasn’t giving him. He had a warmth. But the pillow still smelled like him. It still carried his scent and allowed for Gerard to just pretend for a moment that he really was there with him. Gerard was grateful that it helped subdue the pain in his abdomen.

He eventually fell asleep to the thoughts of the boy, thinking of his warm smile and sweet, lilting giggle as he slipped under.

_________________________

 

Frank opened his eyes again after awhile of keeping them closed tight, his lashes brushing against his knee once he lifted his head up to look around. Being in the dark was too much. He felt like he was blind, unable to even see his feet as he tried to look at them. Another whimper sounded from his throat as he glanced around the room again. He couldn’t help but worry that there was something right there in front of him, smiling viciously and mockingly as it watched him squirm in fear.

Frank tried to stare in front of himself defiantly, lifting his chin and glaring into the darkness before him. It backfired on him tremendously though, as his eyes began to substitute the empty space with vague shapes of a face just because that’s what he had been expecting to see. He was his own worst enemy when it came to things like that. He always made everything much worse than it had to be by freaking out and  convincing his brain that he was seeing things that weren’t really there.

Frank looked away, closing his eyes for a moment before blinking them open and looking in front of him again. The shadowy face was gone, just as he knew it would be. He knew it wasn’t real. He knew he shouldn’t be scared, but just because he knew it wasn’t real didn’t make it any less frightening. Moment’s like those were the only times that he wished he didn’t have such an overactive imagination. Normally he was extremely happy with it, as it allowed for him to daydream and pass the time, or to just write out some little tunes to play on his guitar, but at that moment it was becoming his downfall.

The memory of the guitar upstairs in Gerard’s library flashed briefly in his head, and he began to wish that he had it with him. He wanted to play it again. It had been such a nice, solid and heavy weight in his lap, the strings rough yet smooth as he slid his fingers over them. That would help calm him down tremendously. He would be able to stay in the dark basement forever if he had something like that to distract him.

A quiet sigh escaped Frank as he looked around again. He began to chew on his lower lip absently as he tried to keep himself calm. He was okay. He was fine. He immediately disagreed with that thought as soon as he began to see more shadowy shapes in his vision, which he was growing used to now, but then the figure had to take a rather familiar shape, and Frank nearly screamed out in fear.

He knew it wasn’t really him, he knew it wasn’t Randal. It couldn’t be. He was dead and buried in Gerard’s back yard. But what if…no. Frank didn’t believe in ghosts. This couldn’t be him coming back from the underworld for vengeance. He would have attacked him already if he was, but the Randal that he was looking at wasn’t doing anything. He couldn’t even see his body really, and his face kept shifting and morphing in and out of shape, but it kept the general look of Randal’s face, and it was freaking Frank out enough that no matter how sure he was that it wasn’t real, he couldn’t help but let out a sob.

That man had been so terrible to him, way worse than Gerard ever was. He knew that Gerard hit him occasionally, but he never beat him. He never…he never tried to force himself on him. Frank closed his eyes tight and began to thrash, shaking his head back and forth violently as he panted, little drops of spit flying from his mouth as he tried so desperately to remove himself from the proximity of his strange and frightening hallucination.

Suddenly, like a blessing from some sort of angel, Frank’s hands snatched out in front of him and he gasped. They were free. His hands were _free –_ well…one of them still had the metal of the cuff looped around its wrist, but they were no longer being held behind his back in the strained position. In his momentary celebration, he forgot all about his fears, and a surge of determination began to course through him, thrumming inside of him and reminding him that he wasn’t some helpless child anymore. He was an eighteen year old that knew how to think rationally, and he knew how to deal with things without getting worked up.

He took a deep breath – in through his nose, out through his mouth. He repeated that as he stretched his free arms out in front of him, flexing his fingers and groaning as his shoulders popped satisfyingly. He lifted the still cuffed wrist up to his face, though it didn’t matter how close it grew to him, he still couldn’t see it. He just needed to understand how he had gotten free. He needed to get his other hand undone.

Frank reached up with his free hand and looped it around the cuff that had been holding it previously, his fingers working over the metal until he felt the smooth surface shift into something more rough and bumpy where the hinge of the cuff had been, his fingers running over what felt like a hole. Frank’s brows furrowed a little, feeling over it with slight caution until he realized what it was. It was _rust_ , and the hole must have been from where the screw had been. It must have broke because of his thrashing. He couldn’t believe his luck. He never had anything this good happen to him. He never caught a break like this.

He breathed a small noise of restrained excitement as he reached for the cuff around his other wrist, dragging his fingers to where the hinge was and gasping slightly with a smile when he felt the same bumpy texture around it. It was rusted over too. So that meant that it was weak and he had a chance of breaking it as well.

Surprisingly, it didn’t take much more prying and wiggling with his fingers before the small screw fell out of its place, tinkling against the cold cement floor almost silently once it landed before the sound was followed by a much louder, sharper noise of the metal and chain hitting the harsh surface.

Frank felt a little dizzy with glee, his smile stretched so wide that his cheeks were already starting to burn. He let out a small laugh, the giggle bubbling out of him and sounding delirious as he rubbed over the reddened, sore flesh of his wrists. He did it. He _did it_. He had gotten out of the hand cuffs and he could get up now. He didn’t have to sit on that cold floor and he didn’t feel so helpless. Now he was able to at least run and keep some distance between anything that might be there to harm him.

Frank risked a small glance up at where he remembered the stairs being, squinting to try to see them even though he knew it was useless. It was still too dark, and he hadn’t somehow gained the power of night vision during the time he had been down there. Though he didn’t think being in the basement would be so terrifying to him if he did. He briefly entertained the idea of Gerard having night vision. He wouldn’t be surprised if he did. Gerard didn’t seem to be entirely human. It would explain why he didn’t seem to be afraid of the dark, though Frank realized that Gerard was probably the most dangerous thing that could reside in the shadows. Everything else had to be scared of _him_.

Frank flexed his fingers a few more times as he stood up, stretching his legs out and curling his toes before he arched his back until it popped. It felt nice to be able to move again. Sitting for so long with his arms behind him was not one of the more comfortable positions he would choose to sit in naturally. A slow breath exhaled from Frank’s lungs as he looked around pointlessly. He wondered if there was a flashlight down there with him. Maybe he could try to find it. Or…maybe he could try to go up the stairs first. Maybe Gerard hadn’t locked it. Had he locked it the last time? Frank couldn’t remember. Maybe he hadn’t. He couldn’t find a reason for Gerard having to lock it. He wouldn’t expect for Frank to be able to expect from his handcuffs, so he wouldn’t feel the need to. That was Frank’s logic at least, hopefully it had been Gerard’s as well.

He shook his head, knowing that he was setting himself up for disappointment as he began to shuffle towards the direction of the stairs. He stuck his hands out in front of himself, taking tiny steps and hoping that he wasn’t about to run into something, or some _one_. Frank shuddered at the thought, a noise that sounded like a strangled whine getting choked off in his throat as he tried to shake that thought away. He just needed to get out of there. He would be okay as long as he got out of the basement.

Eventually Frank’s feet kicked the bottom stair, and he stumbled forward against them with a squeak. Luckily he managed to catch himself before his face was able to collide with any of the wood, and he pushed himself up quickly. He felt around for the railing against the wall and hurriedly latched onto it, using it to guide him and keep him from falling as he crept up the stairs. He made sure to walk closer to the wall to keep the steps from creaking so much, and he managed to get to the top without making too much noise or freaking out about falling.

He stole a moment to just stand there, evening out his breathing as he braced himself for disappointment. He had very little hope that the door would actually be unlocked. He had been too hopeful earlier, which had built it all up and now he was too scared to actually try to open the door. But he knew he had to. There was no way of finding out other than trying. He couldn’t exactly ask the door if it was locked or not.

After just a few more seconds of stalling, Frank’s trembling fingers reached for the doorknob as he held his breath. He gripped it tight, his knuckles white as he gritted his jaw. He just needed to turn it. That’s all that he had to do and he would know. He just needed to get it over with.

Frank twisted his wrist, turning his hand before an excited gasp was inhaled sharply into his lungs. It was _turning_. Frank kept turning it, twisting it all the way until it couldn’t turn anymore. He very cautiously pushed the door open, peeking out into the dark hallway before stepping out. He couldn’t believe it. He was also _proud_ of himself. He had managed to escape from the basement all on his own. He wasn’t trapped down there in the dark anymore with the rats and spiders and dark, shadowy images. He was free, for the most part at least.

Frank smiled to himself, his lips stretched wide as he looked down the ends of the hallway. He felt like he could just skip around and laugh. But then a realization hit him. _Gerard_. He hadn’t thought about how he would feel if he found him out of the basement. Frank couldn’t go up to him. He couldn’t go see him or crawl into bed with him.

He doubted that Gerard would welcome him with open arms and tug him under the covers if he just appeared in his room all of a sudden. He would probably be angry with him. Frank shuddered and shook his head. Despite how warm and comfortable he knew Gerard’s bed would be, he resided to just going into the living room for now. He just couldn’t go back into the basement yet. He needed a break before he went back down there. It was too much on him. It messed with his head and made him feel paranoid and a little crazy. But it was also _freezing_ down there. Frank was surprised that he hadn’t caught some sort of cold already, though he wouldn’t be surprised if one attacked his immune system later on. He hoped that Gerard would help him if he was sick. He hoped that he would take care of him a little, because he tended to get a little useless when he was sick.

Frank made sure that Gerard wasn’t somehow standing in the hallway before he started to make his way towards the living room. He walked as quietly as he could, his eyes darting around just to make sure he wasn’t being watched. It was so nerve-racking now that he was actually thinking about how Gerard might react to finding him out of the basement. He padded towards the couch, looking over his shoulder with every step in fear that Gerard would be right there behind him.

He knew that he was misbehaving, but he just couldn’t stay in the basement any longer. He couldn’t _do_ it. It was too dark down there and he kept feeling like someone was there with him, constantly watching him and waiting to attack him. It had messed with him a little. He felt paranoid again, more so than usual.

Frank whimpered softly and lied himself down on the couch. It was still pretty dark in there, but it was much brighter than the basement due to the silver light from the moon filtering through the large windows. Though…he couldn’t help but wish that he could turn the television on to give him some more light. It would also give him some sort of background noise to make him feel less lonely. But he couldn’t. Gerard was probably listening out for him, and he was certain that he was already pressing his luck by even _breathing_.

Frank snuggled up against the cushions his ears beginning to ring from how _silent_ it was. The only sounds that could be heard were the gentle creaking of the house settling, and the air as it was dragged into Frank’s lungs. Frank just couldn’t bring himself to _relax_. He felt so tensed up and wound tight. The cold wasn’t helping him. While it was much warmer in the living room than it had been in the basement, it was still cold enough for Frank to shiver and curl up into himself. He just wanted something _warm_ to cuddle up with. Gerard was warm. He was warm and solid and he always held Frank so securely. God, he shouldn’t miss that. He shouldn’t want that from someone like Gerard, but when Gerard wasn’t mad at him, he was just so sweet to him. He treated him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

Frank closed his eyes softly and wrapped his arms around himself. He wasn’t going to treat him like that anymore, not after finding him there on the couch. Unless Frank was able to make it back down there before Gerard got up. But what was going to happen if Frank fell asleep? What would Gerard do if he woke up and found Frank there out of the basement? Frank felt his heart begin to race, his blood rushing loudly through his ears. Gerard was going to be so mad at him. He was going to be _furious_. He had tied him up and left him in the basement, and Frank had escaped and left it without permission.

But what would Gerard do to him? What would his punishment be then? Surely Gerard was growing tired of him misbehaving so much. Frank was certain that Gerard might make his punishment much worse than just going back down into the basement. Gerard was going to really hurt him. He was going to beat him until he was black and blue and bloody.

Frank was terrified. Gerard was going to shout at him and spit on him, and he was going to strangle him and throw him down the stairs. Then he was going to follow him down there and keep kicking him, landing blow after blow against his ribs and stomach until he was coughing up blood. But he wouldn’t do that…would he? Gerard loved him. Gerard promised that he loved him and that he would always protect him. But he seemed to be doing a pretty sore job of doing the latter. He was the one that kept hurting him recently.

He had hit him, and he had even gone so far as to force him to take another human life. Frank knew that if anyone had deserved to die, then it had been Andy. He had been a sick individual, but Frank had not wanted to take that responsibility. He didn’t want to kill someone. Frank knew that even though he had killed that man against his own will, he had still killed him. He would always have to carry that knowledge with him for the rest of his life. He was going to have to go around knowing that he was a killer. He was a murderer and he was just as bad as Gerard was.

But even though Gerard had forced him to do that, it didn’t mean that he didn’t love him…right? The fact that Gerard loved him was the only thing that was keeping him alive. If Gerard didn’t love him, then he would have killed him by now.

But…what if Gerard _stopped_ loving him? What if he decided that Frank was too much trouble and that he was actually getting annoyed with him and his behavior? God, Frank couldn’t even stay a whole night in the basement without doing something wrong. He should just go back before he woke up, but Frank couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go back down there. He was too scared of it. It was so pathetic of him and he knew it, but he didn’t think he would ever go down into another basement willingly for the rest of his life.

Gerard was going to be so furious with him though. He was going to be so so mad and Frank was scared of how he would react. What if Gerard really _had_ stopped loving him like he was worried about? What if this was the final straw for him and Gerard just…he _snapped_? He was an incredibly unstable person, and he tended to be volatile with how he reacted to things. Frank didn’t think that his reaction to finding Frank on the couch rather than in the basement was going to be much better.

Maybe…maybe Gerard would actually _kill_ him.

Maybe this would really be it, and Gerard would drag him down to the _other_ side of the basement. The one that had been converted into some strange torture chamber. He would tie him to the chair down there just like he had showed him how to do before, and he would cut him up and torture him until he was nearly passing out from the pain. Then he would wait until he regained his consciousness again and he would do it all over again. Frank was sure that Gerard would just keep repeating that over and over again until getting bored, or until Frank lost too much blood.

Gerard would then chop his body up and bury it in his back yard, or maybe he would just mutilate it more since he wasn’t done taking out all of his frustrations on him. The thought of Gerard doing that made Frank feel sick. Frank wished that he could behave. He wished that he could be the perfect person that Gerard had been fantasizing about. He wished that he could do everything right so he wouldn’t have to worry about eventually upsetting Gerard so much that he pushed him past his breaking point. But he wasn’t that person. He was a human being with emotions and he wasn’t just some mindless slave that would be content to follow every rule there was.

Before Gerard had taken him, he had always been known as somewhat of a rule breaker, but he wasn’t too bad. And even when he _did_ do something that was a little worse than he would like to admit, the most he had to worry about was maybe a little jail time and that was it. He never had to worry that he was going to be tortured and killed. But he had never been held captive by a serial killer before.

Frank closed his eyes tight and swallowed a whimper. Gerard was going to do it. He was going to break and he was going to kill him because Frank kept misbehaving. It was only a matter of time. So Frank had to stop it. He had to get to _Gerard_ before he got to _him_.

He had to kill him first…

That was the only option that Frank had. He couldn’t let himself become another one of Gerard’s helpless victims. He didn’t want to die like that. He didn’t want to die by Gerard’s hand. So he wasn’t going to. He wouldn’t let it happen.

Frank sat up slowly, his head feeling light and hazy as his stomach twisted itself in knots. He pushed himself off of the couch as silently as he could manage, his bare feet brushing lightly over the white carpet of the living room floor before transferring to the polished hardwood of the hallway. He kept his steps as delicate as possible, ensuring that he kept his weight on the balls of his feet as he crept into the kitchen. Frank held his breath as he walked towards the drawers, pulling them open quietly as he searched for the knives. His pulse was racing, his veins fluttering beneath his skin as he finally opened the correct drawer.

Frank reached in and pulled out the largest knife, though it was hard to really see with how dark it was, so he was hoping that it would do. Frank was careful with the blade, his grip on the handle ironclad as he held it off to the side, keeping it pointed to the floor. He kept his gaze averted from it, not really wanting to think about what he was holding in his hand as he started to pad carefully out of the kitchen and made his way towards the large staircase.

He very gingerly began to walk up the first step, willing himself to be as light as possible in hopes that he wouldn’t make any noise. Suddenly as he placed his foot on the fifth stair, there was a creak. The noise was quiet and barely there, but it was enough to make Frank’s blood run cold and his heart to feel as though it had stopped. He stood there silent, holding his breath and listening out for the sound of Gerard getting out of bed. He peered up the staircase, expecting to see Gerard’s menacing form appear there, but he never came.

The seconds seemed to stretch on infinitely as Frank stayed frozen. It took him a great amount of mental urging for him to start moving his feet again, and soon he reached the top of the stairs without making another sound. Frank squinted in the dark, peering down the hallway and tiptoeing towards Gerard’s room slowly. He gripped the knife tightly, holding it behind his back as he used his other hand to reach for the doorknob.

He took his time with turning it, not wanting to make a single sound as the latch bolt was disengaged. He exhaled a tiny breath before closing his eyes, steadying himself as he finally began to push the door open. Frank swallowed thickly when he saw Gerard laying on the bed. He watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, hearing his slow breathing as he slept. He was curled up on the side that Frank usually slept on, his arm outstretched over the mattress as if seeking him out.

Frank felt a small ache in his chest. Gerard missed him…

Frank took slow, deliberate steps toward the bed. He kept his gaze trained on Gerard as he grew closer. He looked so… _innocent_ while he slept. His face looked soft and his expression was gentle. His mouth wasn’t pulled into a thin line, and was instead dropped open as he drooled a little. Gerard’s thick, dark lashes fluttered slightly as he dreamed, dusting soft shadows over his cheeks as the light from the moon filtered in and cast over the slopes of his sharp face. He looked beautiful. He looked elegant and almost as if he fell out of some Victorian painting. He looked… _pure_.

Frank never thought that he would associate that word with _Gerard_ , but it suited him in that moment. Frank could almost imagine him to be normal. He could almost picture what Gerard would be like if he didn’t have the blood of all of those people staining his hands – staining his _soul_. Frank wondered if Gerard would have even taken a notice to him if that tragedy hadn’t happened to him all of those years ago. He wondered if they ever would have met. Frank hated that the thought of them never meeting actually made him feel _sad_.

But then again…maybe they _would_ have met. Maybe Frank would have even gotten to meet Mikey as well. They could all just be normal, happy friends, and Frank might have even fallen for Gerard like that. Maybe they would have a healthy relationship where Frank wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder, worried that Gerard might turn on him if he did just one more thing wrong. But that’s not how it was. Mikey was dead, and Gerard was a killer. Frank was merely just another one of Gerard’s victims. He may be different from the rest, but Frank knew that he would end up the same way that they all did – buried in Gerard’s back yard.

That’s why he was standing there now, with a knife behind his back. He was going to change his fate. He wasn’t going to let himself die by Gerard’s hands.

Frank looked down at Gerard again as he slowly pulled the knife in front of him, lifting it up over the other man. He could do it. He had just done it that night…even if Gerard had been the one forcing him to do it. But Frank was tainted now. He carried the weight of being a murderer on his shoulders now, so he could do this just one more time.

Frank held the knife above Gerard, his grip tight but his hands shaking. The blade was wobbling as he trembled violently. He could do it. He could do it.

Frank stared at Gerard’s face, his heart hammering in his chest. He was just sleeping innocently. He wasn’t doing anything to hurt him. But what if he _did_? But then again, what if he _didn’t_? Frank was so conflicted. Gerard had told him so many times that he loved him. He told him at every chance he got. But he hurt him. He punished him for doing barely _anything_. He kept Frank scared, and it was messing with his head. Frank couldn’t take it. How was Frank supposed to believe that Gerard loved him when he treated him the way that he did? It wasn’t good for him.

But…Gerard had been through so much. His little brother had been killed right in front of him, and the man that had murdered him is still walking free. He couldn’t imagine what that was like for him. Gerard had told him that he had been the one to practically raise him, that his parents hadn’t truly cared for them. He had to learn everything on his own and take care of a little boy all while he was just a boy _himself_. Sure…he had money, but money didn’t mean anything when he didn’t have anyone to take care of him and love him. He had at least had Mikey, who had looked up to him and loved him just like little brothers did, but Gerard watched him choke on his own _blood_. It must have been _horrifying_ to only be

Frank began to tremble more violently, tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kill Gerard. Frank choked out a small noise, dropping the knife onto the bed and crumpling to the floor as he began to cry. He felt so _weak_.

Gerard’s eyes snapped open immediately as soon as Frank’s tiny sob echoed through the air, jarring him awake. His body jolted as back as adrenaline was flooded through his system and he immediately began to back away, almost scrambling back on the mattress in panic. No one else was supposed to be in his room with him. He was supposed to be _alone_. He hadn’t been expecting to wake up to some strange shadowy figure crouched next to his bed. But as the initial panic cleared up and Gerard’s instincts kicked in, he quickly shoved himself forward and launched himself at the intruder.

He landed on them, pinning them down in the dark, when suddenly a familiar squeak reached his ears. “ _Frank_?” He gasped, pulling away as his eyes finally adjusted to reveal Frank’s face. He was… _crying_? “Frank…what are…how did you even get up here?” He asked, panting heavily.

Frank hiccupped, so scared now that Gerard was going to hurt him because he had caught him. “I-I…I just…” Frank broke down into another sobbing fit, squirming and closing his eyes tight.

Gerard frowned at Frank, confused as to why he was so upset. Of course, he knew that Frank must be thinking about the way that Gerard was going to punish him for this, but Gerard oddly felt the need to calm him down first. “Frank, calm down. Relax.” He insisted as he pulled back, sitting up again and moving to sit down on the edge of his bed. As he sat down, Gerard felt something beneath him and turned to see that he was sitting on the handle of a _knife_. His eyes widened and he quickly darted his gaze back to Frank. “Frank…what were you planning on doing with this…?” He asked slowly as he lifted the knife up.

Frank whimpered and cowered away from Gerard, scrabbling to crawl backwards. This was it. Gerard was going to kill him now, and Frank had given him the weapon. “I-I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!” He cried out, backing up against he wall and tucking his head between his knees.

Gerard was filled with shock. Frank was going to try to _kill_ him. There was no other explanation for why Frank would have brought a knife into his room like that. The fact that Frank had been trying to do that hurt more than anything. He couldn’t even find it in him to be mad. It was too devastating that the love of his life wanted him _dead_. “Wh-why…?” He whispered softly.

“I’m just…scared.” Frank responded, still hiding his face as he trembled.

Gerard furrowed his brow and slid down into the floor, setting the knife down next to him. “Why are you scared?”

“I’m scared that—that you’re gonna…” Frank hiccupped again, fear coursing through him wildly as he struggled to speak. “I’m scared that you’re gonna try to…to _kill_ me.” He forced out.

Gerard froze. “You think…you think that I’m going to _kill_ you?” He asked incredulously. He was shocked that Frank could ever think that he would do something like that to him. “ _Why_? What could make you think that I would do that to you?” The thought that Frank really felt that Gerard would do something that drastic to him sent a pang through his heart, making his stomach ache as his fingers trembled.

Frank forced himself to look up at Gerard, tears shimmering in his eyes. It broke Gerard’s heart. “Because…I can’t…I can’t behave…” He whispered. “I thought that you would…” Frank sniffled and paused for a moment, wiping over his face. He was grateful that Gerard didn’t seem to appear angry. “You would get tired of me messing up and acting out, and that you would just…get mad and kill me.”

Gerard just stared at Frank, his eyes wide and filled with disbelief. Frank had been so scared that Gerard would try to kill him, that he had been trying to kill him _first_. That was terrible. Gerard felt horrible that he had made him so terrified. But as Gerard thought about it, he could see why he would be so worried. Gerard tended to get onto Frank for the tiniest things. He would punish him just for being himself, and that wasn’t what Frank deserved. “Fuck…Frankie, _no_.” Gerard finally whispered, pushing himself forward and sitting next to the boy. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, making sure to be extra gentle.

“I could never do that to you. I could _never…_ ” Gerard shook his head, his stomach churning and twisting painfully. “Frank, I would _die_ if anything happened to you. I would just…I would fucking _end_ it.” He breathed with feeling, tears welling up a little bit as he thought about Frank no longer being alive. He didn’t care anymore about how he knew Mikey would never want him to do any harm to himself. He had forced himself to live after his brother was killed, which brought him to Frank, and Frank was the only thing that made him happy that he didn’t end it all of those years ago. But if Frank died… Gerard wouldn’t be able to handle that.

Gerard had been watching Frank for so long. He had been thinking about him during each of his waking moments and even the moments when he slept. The thought of anything at all ever happening to Frank made him want to just get swallowed up by the earth. He would lose his mind, more so than he already had. Frank was the entire light of his life. He was the only thing that kept him breathing. Frank was the one that made him _want_ to live _._

“You’re the only thing I have, Frank. You’re the only thing that I love and cherish, and I would _never_ do anything like that to you.” He promised earnestly, and he meant it entirely.

Frank whimpered and snuggled close to Gerard. He didn’t exactly know how to feel. He still felt completely wound tight, feeling like he was about to snap and just break down again, but Gerard’s presence was admittedly comforting. “But you…you keep hurting me.” He whispered softly, unable to let it go. “I have so many bruises from where you’ve…where you’ve _hit_ me.”

That was true. Gerard had tainted and stained Frank’s skin with a multitude of different bruises and marks. Some of them were faded, while some of them looked fresher and more deep than others – the ugly colors smeared over the pale surface. While Gerard knew that most of those marks had appeared during his stay at Randal’s, Gerard was unable to deny that some of them came from him, and he hated it. Gerard never liked to hurt Frank. All he ever wanted to do was to give him his affection, but that’s not what he had done. He used to use the excuse that Frank had misbehaved and that he needed to be punished. That he needed to be _trained_ on how to act right because Gerard couldn’t have him acting out and trying to run away. But now…Gerard could see that it had only achieved in making Frank _frightened_ of him. That was never how he wanted it to be.

Frank didn’t behave because he wanted to. He only did it because he was _scared_ to do otherwise. Gerard didn’t want it to be that way. He wanted Frank happy and he wanted him to feel safe with him. He _didn’t_ want Frank to be so scared of him that he felt the need to try to kill him before he got killed himself. That just hurt. It made Gerard feel sick to his stomach knowing that Frank really believed that that would happen to him. It was all because Gerard was too strict – too _violent_. He needed to do better. Gerard needed to learn to be more lenient with Frank.

“I’m sorry I hurt you…” Gerard finally apologized, his chest heaving with a heavy sigh as he slid his fingers up and down Frank’s side. He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. “I never…I never wanted to be the one to hurt you Frank, and yet that’s exactly what I am.” Gerard was so frustrated with himself that he had really taken so long to realize that he shouldn’t hurt Frank like that. That Frank needed _encouragement,_ rather than punishment. It had always hurt him to cause Frank any pain. It made him feel like he needed to puke his guts up and punish himself. But it would just be so much easier for the both of them if Gerard just stopped hitting him. Frank would learn to trust him more if he did. He wouldn’t be so frightened and he wouldn’t feel the need to worry about every little thing he did. Gerard could imagine how much better their relationship would be if that’s how it was. They would be so close.

Frank glanced up at Gerard, his fringe falling in front of his eyes as he listened to Gerard apologize. He hadn’t expected to Gerard to just admit to what he had done wrong. Frank thought that Gerard would try to make an excuse for why he did the things he did, just like always. It was a nice change of pace. “I won’t do it anymore, Frankie. I just…I swear. I can’t have you worried that I’m going to truly harm you anymore.” Gerard promised earnestly, his fingers reaching up to tuck Frank’s hair out of his face.

Frank was surprised by that statement, but part of him felt nervous to believe it. Yet still, he was sniffled and lifted his hand to loop his fingers around Gerard’s wrist, making the older man shudder from the contact. “Promise me?” Frank’s voice was small as he spoke, almost as if he were afraid of being too loud. He knew he shouldn’t believe Gerard so quickly. He knew he was being naïve, that this could all just be a trick and that Gerard would just go right back to hitting him if he did anything out of line again. But this time, Gerard seemed to be genuine. His eyes were wide and his gaze gentle and earnest. It was incredibly reassuring to see.

Gerard offered Frank an eager nod and cradled his cheek softly, his cool temperature soothing Frank’s burning cheeks as he leaned into the touch. “I promise you, Frank. I mean this.” Gerard’s eyes shifted between Frank’s shimmering ones, his thumb swiping below one of them to wipe away a stray tear. The sight of Frank crying made his heart ache. He wanted to kiss all of the tears away. He wanted to make Frank happy again.

Another sniffle escaped Frank as he desperately searched Gerard’s eyes for deceit, a breath getting trapped in his lungs until they burned hot. Gerard’s eyes looked pure. They looked completely void of any malicious intent and Frank finally allowed himself to feel some sort of slight relief. “Okay.” Frank mumbled when he pushed his face up to burrow in the warmth of Gerard’s neck, his hot breath getting exhaled and ghosting over Gerard’s skin.

Gerard closed his eyes, his head leaning back against the wall as he sighed heavily. He knew it was going to take some work to rewire himself to react differently when Frank did something wrong, but the outcome was entirely worth it to Gerard. He would do anything for Frank. Gerard slid his hand up over Frank’s spine, his fingers feeling over each little notch before tangling in the back of Frank’s hair. “I love you so much, Frank.” Gerard whispered into the dark room, his lips barely moving.

Frank snuggled closer, his nose pressing firmly against Gerard’s pulse. It was slow and steady beneath the surface – calm. It encouraged Frank to relax, as did Gerard’s words. “I know…” He whispered back, his mouth shifting against Gerard’s skin as his own fingers fiddled with the string of Gerard’s sweatpants innocently. Gerard must love him. He had to. If he didn’t, then Frank was certain that Gerard would have taken the knife he brought up with him, and used it to stab him. But he didn’t. He had just crawled down into the floor with him and held him until he calmed down.

A smile graced Gerard’s lips and Frank could feel a low hum rattling in Gerard’s chest. He was happy that Frank knew that. He never wanted him to doubt it or forget it again. “Good,” He murmured. Gerard slowly let his eyes open, lifting his head so he could press a feather-light kiss to Frank’s temple. He noticed that while Frank did seem much more relaxed than earlier, he was still tensed and rigid. “Are you alright?” He found himself asking after a moment.

Frank was quiet before he spoke, sounding vaguely unsure. “I think so.”

That, of course, did nothing to quell Gerard’s worry that Frank wasn’t okay, so he felt the need to fix it. “Here, come on…let me help you relax, sweetheart,” Gerard said, the edges of his voice soft and gentle as he began to stand up.  His hand was outstretched towards Frank, offering it to him for him to hold onto so he could stand up as well.

Frank tentatively reached for Gerard’s hand and looked to the floor as he stood next to him. “What are you going to do?” The inquiry sounded shaky and somewhat nervous, as Gerard tended to have some…unorthodox methods with dealing with things.

“Just come with me, my dove,” Gerard sing-songed slightly, his voice smooth and sweet.

Frank ducked his head down bashfully, a rosy tinge blooming on his cheeks as he decided to just go along with Gerard. He was still anxious – his core feeling wound tight. The fact that Gerard was pulling him towards the restroom was only adding to his nerves. “Why are we going in here?” Frank asked, the quiet ’ _click_ ’ of the light switch almost acting as a punctuation to his question as Gerard flicked it on.

“I’m going to run you a bath,” Gerard explained. “Does that sound alright with you?” His eyes scanned over Frank’s face, his shaped brows raising with his question.

Frank looked up and brushed his hair out of his face. The thought of a bath sounded heavenly. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gotten the opportunity to soak in some hot water and let the tension melt away from him. “That sounds _great_ ,” Frank murmured with a slight upwards tilt of his lips.

Gerard smiled back with teeth. “Good. Why don’t you go ahead and get undressed for me then while I start the water.” He turned from Frank and stepped over to the claw-foot bath on the opposite side of the bathroom than the stand-in shower, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips as he bent over and reached for the knobs.

That made Frank pause and stare at Gerard as the turn of the handles squeaked out faintly, his confusion clear in both his body language and his voice when he spoke. “Wait…what do you mean?” He asked, but the question was nearly drowned out by the sound of water gushing from the faucet; luckily Gerard had still heard him.

“I want you to get undressed. Maybe not all the way, if you’re uncomfortable with that, but at least down to your boxers,” Gerard said while reaching his fingers under the water and gauging the temperature. He wanted it to be nice and hot for Frank. When he didn’t hear any response Gerard turned around a little, his expressive eyebrows quirking up when he noticed that Frank was still giving him a strange look. Gerard sighed and pulled his hand back, shaking the water from it before wiping it on his pants to dry it as he stood up. “I’m going to give you a little massage to help you feel better. Is that alright?”

Frank continued to stare at Gerard as he walked up to him, thinking over if he really wanted to let Gerard drag his hands all over him while he was almost _naked_. He glanced down to Gerard’s warm, reassuring smile, and a sigh burst out of his lungs. He supposed that it wouldn’t be too bad. As long as Gerard didn’t try anything then he could see himself actually _enjoying_ it. “Yeah, that’s alright.” Frank fiddled with the hem of his shirt nervously and made a little noise in the back of his throat as he flicked his gaze back up to meet Gerard’s.

“Yeah?” Gerard’s smile spread wider. He was obviously quite pleased that Frank was going to let him do it. While it was partly for selfish reasons, as he wanted to be able to touch Frank and just feel over him, he was also wanting to help Frank feel better. He wanted him to relax and not feel so stressed. “Go ahead and get undressed for me then, sweetheart.” Gerard cooed, reaching up to cup Frank’s jaw and pulling him in for a brief kiss.

Just that simple peck on his lips was enough to fluster Frank and make his skin heat up. He really was already starting to feel much better than earlier. Just being in that basement had messed with his head a little bit and gotten him all paranoid. Maybe now Gerard wasn’t going to make him go down there anymore. He _did_ say that he wasn’t going to punish him as much, so he was hoping that that meant not giving to go there anymore. Maybe if he told Gerard how traumatizing it was for him then he would be less likely to make him go to the basement ever again.

“Okay…” He whispered, slowly grabbing the bottom of his shirt and tugging it off over his head, exposing his skin. He hadn’t realized that he had never been shirtless around Gerard before, but of course Gerard did. Sure…there had been moments where Frank’s shirt had been rucked up and teased Gerard  with little glimpses of his skin and the birds inked onto his hips, but that was it.

Gerard suddenly got a glimpse of dark lines stained onto Frank’s back when he glanced into the mirror behind the boy, and he gawked at him openly as he stepped around him to get a better look at the tattoo. “I didn’t know you had this…” He breathed, his voice soft and filled with excitement.

“What?” Frank furrowed his brow and turned his head in an attempt to see what Gerard was talking about. “The jack o’ lantern?”

Gerard nodded and reached forward, his fingers hovering over the skin. “May I?” He asked carefully. Normally he would have reached forward and touched it before asking, but he was trying to be more considerate of how Frank felt now. He wanted Frank to be comfortable.

Frank sucked his lower lip between his teeth. He wasn’t used to Gerard acting so careful around him. It was kind of nice. “Yeah, go ahead.”

Gerard’s smile stretched across his lips and he leaned in close, inspecting the lines on Frank’s skin as he dragged the pad of his finger over them. The lines felt the same as the unmarked skin, just smooth and soft. Gerard traced his fingers over the jagged lines of the pumpkin’s mouth, his face leaning in to inspect it closely.

“What do you think?” Frank’s voice pulled Gerard out of his daze, and he looked up to see that Frank was turning his head to try to look at him.

Gerard’s lips pulled upwards into a smile. “I love it,” He replied as he flattened his palm against it for a moment. “It’s very… _you_.”

Frank ducked his head and grinned sheepishly. “Thanks…” He whispered. “I got it on my eighteenth birthday.”

Gerard leaned in to press a kiss to the tattoo, earning a small intake of breath from Frank. “Oh? That’s pretty cool,” He murmured as he moved to stand in front of Frank again. “I’ve always been interested in tattoos, but I’ve never cared to get any of my own.” Gerard dropped his eyes down to the birds etched onto Frank’s lower stomach, his hand reaching out to brush his fingers over them. He pulled back when he felt the boy’s stomach hitch a little from the contact and he bit down on his lip. “The birds are my favorite.”

“Really?”

Gerard gave a little nod. “Yeah. They’re swallows, right?”

“Yeah.” Frank smiled as he looked down at the tattoos, touching the wings of the bird on his right hip briefly. “I think they look cool.” He mumbled a little. He normally wasn’t so bashful when he spoke about his tattoos with anyone. Usually he would never shut up about them if anyone asked. Of course, the circumstances were always different when Gerard was involved.

“I do too,” Gerard said as he glanced back down to the bird. He stared at them for a moment, admiring the way they looked inked into Frank’s pale skin. He loved the placement of them too. They looked at home as they resided on Frank’s lower stomach, right over his hipbones. “They look good on you.” He smiled. He kept staring at them, tracing the lines with his gaze and trying to take in every detail. They were so pretty to Gerard. He wanted to run his tongue over them and see if they tasted different than the rest of the skin. He leaned in again, bending over so he could bring himself closer to the birds when he noticed a new detail.

“Why does this one have X’s over its eyes?” Gerard lifted his finger to rest over the bird’s eyes. Frank was watching him closely now, his eyes wide as a blush crept up his neck. Having Gerard so close to him made him feel like he was burning up, especially when he was touching him like that. Frank could feel a jolt of electricity spark through him and he struggled to suppress his shiver as he slid his fingers over a few inches to the other bird. “Is this a halo?” Gerard looked up to Frank, immediately noticing the way he was looking at him. _Oh_ … Maybe he should stop touching him like that.

Frank swallowed thickly and gave Gerard a small nod before he tried to speak. “Y-yeah…” He mumbled, staring down at Gerard. It was weird to be looking _down_ at Gerard. He was used to always having to look up at him since he was so much taller than him, though everyone seemed to be taller than him. He had to admit though that he liked the way he looked down there. It was strange that even crouched in front of him he was still able to pin him with his intense gaze, seeming to still be in charge and dominant.

“Care to tell me what it means?” Gerard’s voice was laced with amusement, his lips curled into a crooked smirk as he stood up straight. The sight of Frank getting flustered always excited him. He would never get tired of the way he looked with his pink cheeks and bashful, yet needy gaze.

“Oh, uh…yeah.” Frank looked away sheepishly. Gerard was standing so close. “They’re supposed to represent like, good and evil, you know? Like, one has X’s over its eyes and horns, and the other one has a halo, so… yeah” He explained shortly, his tongue feeling too thick in his throat to really say much more.

Gerard smiled and nodded along, genuinely interested in the concept. “Really?” Gerard looked down at the tattoo and reached forward to touch them again. “I love that. Did you come up with that idea?”

Frank felt his hips push forward into Gerard’s touch without his consent, and he looked up at the man through his lashes shyly. “Uhm…Yes- yeah, I did.” He wished that Gerard would stop asking so many questions. At least while he was standing so close and touching him the way he was. It made it hard for him to think.

“I really love them, Frank. They’re so beautiful.” Gerard’s voice was lowered, his tone soft and gentle as he pulled his hand back. He knew that he couldn’t keep touching Frank like that. He might try to get Frank back into the bedroom before letting him take a bath if he did.

Frank smiled bashfully and ducked his head, casting his gaze back to the floor. “Thanks.” He murmured.

Gerard bobbed his head in a slight nod, glancing up to another one of tattoos that he hadn’t had a chance to see before. It was a small flame on his chest, residing right above his left nipple with the word ‘Hope’ written beneath it. He arched his brow and smiled again. “I like this one too.” He told him, going against his better judgment and leaning in to press a kiss to the flame. He felt Frank shudder beneath his lips, his ears picking up on the slight intake of breath that he made as well.

“D-do you?” Frank forced himself to speak, not wanting to give away that he was becoming flustered, thought the fact was already glaringly obvious.

“Mm-hmm,” Gerard hummed against his skin, and Frank could feel his lashes brushing against him too. “You’re _my_ hope, Frank.” He mused before pressing another kiss to him, this time more firmly.

Frank stared down at Gerard, struggling not to tangle his fingers through his hair and guide him just a little bit lower. Only a couple of inches. “U-uh…thanks,” Frank said dumbly, his fingers twitching at his sides as he tried to keep himself from reacting too obviously to Gerard.

A chuckle spilled from Gerard and he pulled his head back, standing up straight again. “You’re very welcome.” Gerard grinned playfully. He had to take a small step away after that. He knew that the closer he was to Frank, the more tempting it would be for him to try to do _more._ Much much more. He was aching to just grab him and pin him up against the wall and kiss all over him. He wanted to drag his lips down his chest and over his stomach, and he wanted to slide his hands back over him and clutch at his hips or his waist, digging his fingers into his soft flesh as he yanked him against him. Gerard would give anything to be able to do that, but that’s not what Frank needed right then. Gerard wanted to get him to relax and calm down. He didn’t want to get all worked up and make Frank feel uncomfortable or like he would need to put out or else Gerard might hurt him.

“So…” Gerard cleared his throat and tipped his head towards Frank’s pants. “Are you going to…you know…”  He figured it would be best if he went ahead and got into the bath before Gerard tried anything else.

The pink tinge to Frank’s cheeks bled down to his chest, his stomach feeling light and slightly anxious. “O-oh…yeah…” He whispered. Frank kept his eyes averted from Gerard as his fingers clutched at the waistband of his sweatpants. Gerard made sure to look away as well, opting to walk back over to the tub to check the water despite how badly he wanted to stare at the boy.

He had seen Frank in his boxers before, of course, but this was a little different. Frank was going to be wearing _nothing_ but his boxers this time, and he would most likely feel a little exposed. So Gerard wanted to respect that. He wanted to show Frank that he was really going to be better. He was going to show Frank more respect and he was going to be careful with him. He needed Frank to see that he didn’t need to be so scared of him.

“Okay.” Frank swallowed hard, his hands instinctively covering his crotch a little when Gerard turned around. The boxers felt like they weren’t enough. He felt like he wasn’t even wearing them. “Is the bath ready?”

Gerard offered Frank an assuring smile and turned the water off, the knob squeaking faintly. “Yeah,” He answered as he reached into the water to feel it briefly. It was nice and hot, but not too hot to where it would feel like it would burn. “Come on, sweetheart. Just go ahead and get in.” He urged as he pulled his hand out of the water, flicking his wrist a few times.

Frank took a small step forward, his feet shuffling on the tiled floor before he was brought to stand in front of the tub. He was nervous. He had never taken a bath in front of anyone before. Well…not since he was a baby and his mom would wash him in the sink. This was a lot different though. Frank was eighteen and was fully aware of everything that would be going on now. It was weird to know that Gerard was going to be…massaging him? Was he really going to be doing that for him? Frank did feel pretty tensed up, so maybe it would be nice. Hopefully feeling Gerard’s hands on him wouldn’t make him feel even more pent up and wound tight.

He lifted his leg up, glancing to Gerard for a moment as he lowered his foot down into the water. It actually felt extremely nice. It was just the right temperature. “How’s it feel? Is it too hot?” Gerard’s voice rang out as he put his other foot into the bath.

“No. No it’s perfect,” Frank said as he held onto the edge of the tub to help lower himself down, the water rippling as he got himself sat down. It was a little strange to be submerged in water while he was still wearing underwear, but he tried to just think of it as if he were wearing swim trunks.

Gerard was smiling warmly at Frank. “That’s good. I’m glad.” He said. He began to lower himself down to kneel beside the tub, his fingers itching to reach forward and touch the boy already. It was hard for him to be around an almost naked Frank without getting any sort of contact yet. “May I?”

Frank looked at Gerard, turning his body a little as he felt his pulse begin to race. This was just so fucking _weird._ But Frank had to admit that this was much better than being locked up in the basement, or getting punished in some way. “Yeah.” He gave permission. His skin was beginning to prickle with anticipation, his eyes slipping closed as he waited to feel Gerard’s cool touch.

The first thing he felt was the exhale of Gerard’s breath puff against his shoulder, letting him know that Gerard had moved a lot closer than before. The second thing he felt was Gerard’s slender fingers resting on both of his shoulders, already beginning to dig into his tensed muscles. “This okay?” He heard Gerard whisper behind him.

“Yeah, it’s fine…” Frank mumbled softly before a slight groan escaped him when Gerard began to work his thumbs deep into his shoulder blades. “O-Oh…” He whispered, his head lolling back as his eyes slipped closed. That felt much better than he had expected.

A tiny smile graced Gerard’s lips at Frank’s reaction. He leaned in closer, pressing a small kiss to the curve of Frank’s jaw. “Does this feel good, sweetheart?” His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke, not wanting to ruin the calming atmosphere he was trying to create for Frank.

Frank merely sighed and nodded, his shoulders rolling a little as he shifted in the water. Gerard’s hands felt so _nice_. He was already starting to feel better. Frank shuddered slightly as he felt Gerard’s fingers move over to his upper arms, his fingers pushing and kneading at his muscles. “Mmm…feels nice…” He mumbled, sinking down into the warm water even further and soaking his skin. He never wanted Gerard to stop. He felt like he could stay in that tub forever, feeling Gerard’s nimble fingers pressing exactly where Frank needed them without him ever having to guide him. It seemed like he knew Frank’s body even better than he did.

Gerard pressed a kiss to Frank’s shoulder, breathing a soft sound and smiling against his skin. “You’re so wonderful,” He murmured, shifting his fingers down further before dragging them back to his shoulders. He slid them down, rubbing deep into the muscles of Frank’s upper back as he hummed a nonsensical tune under his breath. Frank only nibbled on his lower lip, not knowing what to say so he only gave Gerard as shy smile. That seemed to be enough for the older man as he grinned back.

Gerard moved to dip his hands in the water, cupping them against Frank’s arms and pulling the hot water up and letting it spill down over Frank’s shoulders. Frank seemed to like that, Gerard noticed, as he groaned and shifted back closer. So Gerard did it again, letting more water wash over Frank and drinking in each delicious moan that spilled from him. They were intoxicating.

Once more water was cupped between Gerard’s palms, he lifted his hands up and cooed, “Tilt your head back for me, please.” He murmured, waiting for Frank to obey before he let the water slide over Frank’s hair. A slow grin crept on his face when he heard Frank groan again, and he began to work his fingers through the longer dark strands. Gerard slid his fingers over to the short blond hairs on the side, scratching his nails over his scalp gently and chuckling as Frank seemed to lean up into the touch, seeking out more. Gerard was certain that if Frank were capable of it then he would definitely be purring like a cat.

“So cute,” Gerard crooned playfully, moving to nuzzle behind Frank’s jaw.

“What?” Frank’s voice sounded far away, like he was too lazy to properly project his voice properly, but he was still curious enough to mumble the inquiry.

A smirk tugged Gerard’s lips to the side as a warm chuckle rattled in his chest. “You’re just cute, is all.” He explained. “You’re like my pretty little kitty, letting me pet and groom you.”

Frank turned to give him a halfhearted glare, but there was a hint of mirth behind his gaze. “You’re weird.”

“I’m certain that we’ve already established that.” Gerard laughed, giving Frank’s shoulders a squeeze as he felt him giggle as well. He leaned in again after a moment, shifting closer as his knees began to dig into the tiled floor, but he didn’t mind it. He began to press a kiss to top of Frank’s arm, closing his eyes as he just peppered a small circle of the skin there with little affectionate pecks.

Gerard’s lips dragged over Frank’s shoulder, moving closer and closer to the curve of Frank’s neck. “I love you…” He mumbled against Frank’s wet skin. “Love you so, so much.” He needed Frank to know this. Gerard needed him to be certain that he could never do anything so drastic as killing him. Frank was all he had now. He was all he wanted. Nothing could ever replace him. “You’re so precious to me, Frankie. I would do anything for you.”

Frank opened his eyes for a moment, his head tilting towards Gerard. He didn’t really know what to say, so instead he stayed quiet and let Gerard continue. It was quite nice to hear all of the sweet things Gerard was saying. He had needed it. “You’re so beautiful, you know?” Gerard added, sliding his hands down each of Frank’s shoulders and gripping his upper arms. He smiled when Frank’s complexion noticeably darkened, obviously feeling a little flustered. “Especially when you blush like that.” His tone was teasing, a small chuckle tumbling from his lips as Frank whined and turned his head away.

“Oh, come on now, Frankie.” Gerard crooned, laughter still underlying his voice as he nuzzled the side of his slightly damp hair. “There’s no need to get so shy on me.” Gerard leaned forward, his body shifting as his teeth scraped over the shell of Frank’s ear.

Frank shuddered, the water rippling around him as he inhaled sharply. “Gerard.” His tone almost carried a warning, like he wasn’t certain if he wanted Gerard to continue even though it felt nice.

“Sorry.” Was the first thing out of the older man’s mouth, his voice barely a whisper as he breathed in Frank’s ear. “You’re just so gorgeous. It’s hard to resist.”

Frank turned to look at him again, his eyelids looking heavy as he pressed a small kiss to the corner of Gerard’s mouth. “You really think so?”

Gerard only nodded before he leaned in again, slotting their lips together in a slow, lazy kiss. His hand slid up to grip at Frank’s hair, clutching at the dark strands of his mohawk. Frank groaned a little, the sound barely audible as Gerard eagerly swallowed it. This is how it should be. They should be able to just kiss each other like this like it was natural. Like it wasn’t anything strange or forced. Gerard always wanted them to feel relaxed and calm around each other. He needed it to be like that, and it seemed that it was slowly getting there.

“I’m never going to hurt you again, okay?” Gerard promised as he pulled back, their lips separating with a satisfying slick noise.

Frank stared at Gerard with wide, hazy eyes, and in that moment he really believed that. Gerard loved him. He really did. Frank had just been acting a little irrational when he had worried about Gerard killing him. Gerard would never kill him. He was the one that protected him.

“Okay.” He whispered in return, reaching up and turning more in the tub to slide his fingers into Gerard’s short hair. He knew that water was dripping everywhere and creating a mess, but Gerard didn’t seem to mind as he pulled him in for another kiss.

Gerard’s reaction was immediate. He moved over to sit more towards the side of the tub so Frank wouldn’t have to twist so uncomfortably, and he began to kiss Frank like he was starving for it. He grabbed at the sides of his face, his fingers curling around his jaw as he nipped at Frank’s lower lip. As soon as he was granted access, he slid his tongue inside, dragging it over his teeth and sliding it along Frank’s own tongue. He licked at the roof of his mouth, just tasting him and mapping him out.

Gerard lived for kisses like this – the ones where it seemed like they were both trying to meld with each other. Frank’s mouth was just so soft, and he always made him feel so…so incredible. Frank seemed to be enjoying it as well. He was lifting his torso out of the tub, sitting up on his knees as he leaned out over the porcelain edge so he could get closer to Gerard.

He kissed him firmly, swirling his tongue around Gerard’s as he looped his wet arms around his broad shoulders to pull him closer. Gerard responded with a low noise, his brow furrowing as he felt a heat begin to pool in his gut. He would have to stop them soon before he got too heated, but for now he needed to keep kissing him. He couldn’t stop just yet. After punishing Frank and leaving him in the basement, he felt desperate to give him as much affection as possible.

He slid his hands down, grasping at Frank’s sides before his fingers teased down to his waist. He wished that they were in bed. He wished that he could press against Frank fully and really _feel_ him. Gerard was absolutely aching for him. “Fuck…” Gerard whispered against Frank’s lips, his fingers yanking at his hair as he pulled him back.

Frank moaned openly and gasped as he was pulled apart from Gerard, his eyes fluttering open as he tried to understand why Gerard was pulling him away. “What is it?” He panted, his lips shiny and swollen from how Gerard had nipped at them.

“I just…” Gerard paused, taking a moment to stare at Frank’s slightly debauched appearance. “I think we should just go to bed, Frank… I don’t…” Gerard pulled back and shook his head.

“What?” Frank asked again, frowning again as he began to worry that he might have done something wrong.

Gerard gave Frank a reassuring smile and shook his head, sliding his hand up to squeeze his shoulder. “If we keep kissing like that then…well…you know…” Gerard looked down at himself, nodding towards his crotch obviously and raising a brow in hopes that Frank would get what he was trying to say.

Frank seemed to understand, as he dropped his mouth into a small ‘O’ shape and he nodded slowly. “Oh,”

“Yeah,” Gerard replied with a chuckle, shrugging a little bit.

“Well…” Frank said, gaining Gerard’s attention again. “Maybe we could…” He paused again, nibbling on his lower lip as he shook his head and decided to just lean in for another kiss. Gerard of course, responded immediately, opening up for Frank before taking the lead. He pressed himself closer, his bare chest rubbing against Frank’s wet one as his hands slid down to grab at Frank’s hips, submerging them in the warm water.

He slid his thumbs over the skin right above the waistband of Frank’s boxers. Feeling the smoothness of it and groaning as Frank shivered against him. Gerard pulled away, but immediately latched his lips onto Frank’s jaw, kissing over it wetly and trailing them down to his throat. “You know…” Gerard murmured softly. “This is my other favorite of yours.” He whispered.

“What?” Frank croaked, clenching his eyes tight as he tried to steady himself. The way he was kneeling wasn’t too comfortable, but he didn’t want Gerard to stop.

“This tattoo.” Gerard answered, pressing his lips to the scorpion on Frank’s neck. “I love kissing it.”

“Oh.” Frank’s voice was airy and breathless, his fingers digging into Gerard’s shoulders as he tried to pull him closer. Gerard’s mouth felt so nice there. It always did when he kissed him there. He could feel his own arousal twisting inside of him, lust beginning to cloud his mind.

“Mm-hmm.” He whispered, too busy dragging his tongue over the ink to really come up with a proper response.

Frank tipped his head back and hissed softly when Gerard’s teeth scraped over the sensitive skin of his throat, his body starting to tremble. “Maybe we could…” Frank tried to say again, this time determined to finish the sentence. “Maybe we…. _could_ do something. Y-you know, like…I could dry off and we can go back to bed and…well…I don’t know…” Frank suddenly felt sheepish, and he realized that Gerard was no longer latched onto his throat and was instead looking at him with wide, hungry eyes.

“What?” He panted. “Really? You really want to do that Frank?” He asked him, needing to be certain. He didn’t know how far Frank was really wanting to go, but he would be happy with anything. Even if Frank only wanted to jerk him off, that was certainly better than nothing. Maybe Frank would actually let him really touch him this time too. Or maybe he would let him _see_ him. Gerard would give anything for that.

Frank paused for a moment, but eventually he gave a nod and smiled at Gerard shyly. He didn’t know what he was going to do with Gerard either. He just knew he needed to do _something_ with him. He was a hormonal teenager and he was feeling so desperate for some sort of sexual relief. Especially after feeling so pent up. “Yeah, I do.” He replied. A squeak was pulled from Frank as Gerard immediately began to lift him up, standing up easily and pulling Frank to hold him against him. Frank instinctively wrapped his legs around Gerard’s waist and held onto him, breathing a small noise of surprise.

“I need to dry off.” He reminded Gerard before he was carried out to the bedroom.

Gerard shook his head and squeezed Frank in his arms. “No you don’t.” He insisted, earning a small giggle from Frank as he continued to carry him towards his bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from 07/03/2018: Hello! Sorry I haven't updated in a bit!! I'm still working on it though, so don't worry! I will not abandon this story! I just have very very little free time due to my new job, but I'm writing as much as I can! I plan on updating soon!


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